Issue 3

Salt & Burn Magazine

Issue 3 • Sept 7 2014

A supernatural Fanzine Issue 3 • Sept 7 2014 Editors in Chief:

Shayla J • Sarah DeBusk

Design:

Stiney

Covers:

unholyseraphs

Tumblr:

Salt-and-burn-magazine.tumblr.com

Disclaimer: This is a magazine made by fans for fans and though we approve content for quality we do not sensor content to fit only our views. That being said, not all content or statements reflect the views of its creators or others who contribute to the magazine.

Contact us at saltandburnmagazine@gmail.com The following is a non-profit fan-based magazine. Supernatural, and all of its characters are owned by The CW, WB and executive producers Eric Kripke , McG, Robert Singer. Please support the official release. All works of art within this web site are protected under U.S. copyright laws and international conventions. No portion of the artists works or statements were used without prior written permissions granted from the creator or artist. All rights belong to the original creator and artists.

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Contents Misha’s Bookclub

10

“Pistachio Sea-Salt Caramel” Ficlet-Destiel

15

“Love is Not Enough”

18

“If Stars Were Mine” ficlet-Destiel

24

“His Perspective”-Sastiel Big Bang Preview

28

S10 Audio Meta

30

San Diego Comic Con 2014

32

Gishwhes 2014

34

Women4Spn

40

Issue 2 Poll Results & New Poll Questions

42

Jensen Joins Twitter

44

DCBB 2014 Spotlight

50

Croatoan Day

55

“Why 2014 Was Always Safe”

62

Cosplay

65

“The Mark of Cain, Curing Dean, and Prometheus”

66

“I Never Lied Dean, It’s Important, It’s Fundamental”

68

“The Most Important Object in the Entire Universe…”

71

“It’s Going to Burn You Out”

74

“Why Didn’t You Look for me? Why didn’t You Let Me Go?”

75

“I am Proud of Us”

77

“Don’t Let Me Go”

79

“White Fire” ficlet-Destiel

80

Demon Side Contents Page

81

Demon Cover

Angel

7

Features

Happy Bday Misha

Demon

6

W =content warning; gore 3

By lovelygadreel

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contributors Thank you to these wonderful people who contributed their art, meta, graphics, fanfiction, poetry, and more!

Covers: unholyseraphs Content: ben-ja-m-art-in-i, castielhellbound, castielvis, charjx, cliffnotesofanerd, crossroadscastiel, defilerwyrm, dendacien, devilsvessel, doublettea, dudewheresmypie, dustydreamsanddirtyscars, ghastiel, ilovestarkidtoomuch, kai-art, kyofetus, lovelygadreel, pirrofarfalla, prinzik, sasquatchkid, sharkofdoom, team deus ex mishina, team free will, team game of pwns, team kale of the lord, team vatican cameos, team weaponized coconut, unholyenochian, yaelstiel *Unless otherwise noted, all names are from tumblr

By castielhellbound 5

6

“I contacted the author and he agreed to do an online book-club chat with me. The idea is I’ll chat with him and ask him my questions and your questions, and we’ll all do an old-fashioned book salon (but online). We are going to do the book club/salon in early September, 2014 and the book comes out August 19th, so get a hardcopy, or an ebook, or reserve it at the library--and read it quick! “

Misha’s Book Club 7

8

By unholyseraphs 9

Pistachio Sea-Salt Caramel

Destiel ficlet Surfer!Cas & Ice Cream Stand!Dean By unholyenochian 10

The air coming off of the ocean waves was

be a country boy, and no matter how far he lived away from the midwest, that was where his heart truly lied.

warmer than usual today, with the sky slowly starting to turn black in the distance. Dean leaned against the counter of the ice cream stand, peering down at the beach. Since the weather had been acting up, only the hardcore beach goers were out today, which included one (extremely) hot Castiel Novak. He was a surfer and had been living in this small beach town all of his life. Dean had just moved here a few summers ago because his little brother Sam was going to college, and Dean wanted to at least be the same state. He ran a small ice cream stand near the pier. His business was usually booming, since everyone wanted the taste of his salt and caramel ice cream on hot days, but it didn’t really pay the bills.

Which was true.

He was by no means a city boy. That had always been Sam’s dream, not his, but this small town in California near the beach was the closest he could come to country living out here. Deep down he missed the flat fields of Kansas, he missed the corn eating contests, and the street fairs. He longed for country thunderstorms and the rainbows that followed. He even missed the farm he had worked on before moving out here with Sam. It had been hard work but it had kept him in shape. Now he lived out here and had gained at least ten pounds since his starting point, and his middle had turned soft and squishy. Taking a shirt off was out of the question.

He also worked at a bar in the evenings as a bartender. He met a lot of crazy people working the bar, but California was full of crazies. He had met Castiel at the bar one night; he had come in already tipsy with his brother, complaining about his job and how he had been fired. It had taken him a moment to recognize Dean since they saw each other almost every day on the beach, but never spoke. Honestly, Dean had never felt more embarrassed - he was a lame ice cream stand guy, and Cas was the epitome of hot surfer guy. He had the tan skin, the hot body, and the one thousand watt smile to boot. Not to mention Cas was one of the nicest guys Dean had ever met.

“Hello, Dean,” Castiel greeted, drawing him back to reality in a slow blink.

“Oh- uh… Heya, Cas. What’s up?”

“I’m dying for a cone of the pistachio stuff if you have it today.” Castiel turned on the smile that could sail a thousand ships. It was disgustingly beautiful).

“Yep, waffle cone?” Dean asked as he reached. It was usually a waffle cone, but maybe Cas wanted to mix it up today.

“Yes, please,” he replied with a huge smile.

He had a horribly and painfully homoerotic crush on Cas, even though everyone he knew thought he was straight. Including Cas.

“Gotcha. Coming right up.” Dean spun around to dish out the ice cream, hoping that his butt didn’t look too big in his khaki shorts.

Dean watched Castiel conquer wave after wave, hoping that eventually he would grow tired and want to come up to shore for a treat. He had Castiel’s favorite today: pistachio sea salt caramel.

Dean hated it, and so did most of his customers, but Castiel loved the taste of the sea salt mixed with caramel, and apparently the guy loved pistachio flavored everything. It was gross in his opinion, but to each their own. Dean sighed heavily as he removed the visor from his head, scratching at his forehead.

His brother used to mock and say he would always

“So, Dean, I was wondering something.”

“Shoot,” he called back over his shoulder.

“Well, we’ve known each other for a few years now, and we talk a lot… Sometimes we even hang out outside of this setting, right?”

“Right.”

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“And I’ve been wondering - and correct me if I’m reading you wrongly - but I’ve been wondering about us.”

He nodded. “Yep.”

Dean frowned, trying to perfect the scoop on Castiel’s cone. “Us?”

Dean nodded, even though his face just kept on flushing hotter and hotter. “Yep.”

“Yeah, like… I’m pretty certain you like me in that way, and I certainly like you, so I think it’s a fair enough assumption to make that we should go on a date,” Castiel concluded smartly.

“Great. See you tomorrow Dean.” Castiel took a suggestive lick of his ice cream right before leaving, which left Dean hard and uncomfortable.

“Awesome. Tomorrow at six, sound good?”

He was glad that there was no one else in line, or he would have been serving his customers hard as a rock. Dean glowered at the ice cream… stupid ice cream, making Castiel do suggestive things. The worst part was that he had no idea what to wear on his date tomorrow.

The ice cream cooler kept blasting cold air on his face but no matter how long he stood there staring into the sugary abyss, he could not make his skin feel less hot. It became so bad that he wanted to scratch all over. If he turned around now Cas would see how red his face had become, but he had no choice, so he spun around and handed the cone over. He couldn’t even meet Castiel’s gaze.

“Am I wrong?” Castiel asked. He didn’t sound worried, not even in the slightest. Damn his ability to read people like open books.

“I thought you thought I was-” “Straight?” Castiel snorted. “Yeah, maybe at first when we first met, but not now. I can see through your facade. The only people who stare at my ass as much as you do are the people who hit on me in bars. So, come on Dean, let’s go on a date. I mean, not right now, but in the near future. Please?”

Dean slowly raised his gaze but he focused on Castiel’s forehead rather than his eyes, which he had figured would be easier, but that was a lie. Cas had this curl of hair along his forehead that was so perfect and cute… ugh, since when did he find things cute?

“Well?”

“Um… okay,” he muttered before rubbing the back of his neck. “Sure.”

“Great, I’ll pick you up tomorrow night, since you have tomorrow off, right?”

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By ghastiel

By unholyseraphs

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Love is Not Enough By defilerwyrm

3. Blade O thou speck, thou mote of dust!

I was the sun and you a distant moon blazing brightly at my touch.

Where I was meant to lead you, instead I fell to follow; now I can't escape your gravity and fear I don't want to.

Once you looked upon me with fear and awe that I mistook for love, for that was all the love I'd ever known, agape (agape) and agog, but you taught me a new meaning of the Word.

You love me like a blade between my ribs: O blessed spear that pierced my side and bled my heart, I am martyred to your cause simply because you called me to your side and I gladly fell upon you like a sword.

Perhaps you were only a mote when viewed from a distance after all, and I the small one.

You have caught me, transfixed me, eclipsed me, snuffed my light as if this ancient star was naught but candle-flame between your fingers: you burn all the brighter the dimmer I become.

I have let this come to pass. I lie in ruin, run through on the knife of your words and smile aching for the chance that you might make good on the promises unspoken in the broken glass of your eyes – lost but for the ache you leave in my chest where I am bleeding out around you and begging you for more.

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By unholyseraphs 16

By unholyseraphs 17

By lovelygadreel

If Stars Were Mine By pirrofarfalla

“Whatcha been lookin’ at?” he asks, still staring up at the star-filled sky. Dean takes a deep breath and opens both eyes, swallowing up the stars once again. How do you explain to a kid the meaning of…well, everything?

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It’s been three years since…Well, that’s still too hard to think about sometimes, especially on nights like tonight. Tonight he’s lying in the grass of Sammy’s backyard - having just snuck away from his own birthday party - hands cradling his head as he gazes up at the stars. The loneliness ebbs away in this spot. This was where he and Sam tossed a football for the first time since they were kids after Sammy bought the place with his hard earned cash – bought it for him and his new fiancée. This was where Sammy and Avery got married and had their first dance together. This was where Hunter took his first steps.

This was where he and Cas would lay, late at night, whispering to one another and watching out for shooting stars. This was where Cas taught Dean everything he knew about stars and constellations. He said that the stars could tell any story about any man on this Earth, you just have to start writing. So he and Cas wrote their own legacy between the constellations – every wish, every hope, every dream, every reality, every ounce of love between them laid bare across the starscape. A man can learn a lot about stars, about love, about humanity in three short months – and Dean will never forget a second of it.

Ten years is long time in anybody’s book. Ten years since the angels fell. Ten years since everything just..stopped. All the evil, all the dark spots on this planet just vanished. Of course, the world still isn’t perfect – there’s still war, natural disaster, poverty.

The Raiders keep losing and they stopped making fucking Twilight movies, so there might still be a God out there somewhere. Every so often, a spirit gets anchored and needs to be set free, but besides that, everything is just…quiet. Ten years. Ten years since Dean Winchester just stopped caring.

It wasn’t easy at first. The anxiety of waiting out the calm before the inevitable storm was suffocating. So when the calm just kind of…went on forever, it was easier to breathe, to focus on something other than impending death and destiny and all that shit that’s been ruling their lives since the beginning. It was just over. By no means was it easy to accept. Dean spent years with that itch he just couldn’t scratch in the back of his head, nagging at him to go, to run, to hunt, to feel. Dean spent years sleeping with a knife under his pillow and never took the weapons out of the trunk of the Impala. He still whispers Christo when people are acting weird, but eventually, you have to accept that people are just fucking weird.

At some point along the way, Dean, Sam, and Cas just stopped hunting. Sammy decided to finish his degree and get a job, so they packed and closed up the Bunker. Thinking back, it was pretty dumb to let the fallen angel (human, whatever) pick where they went from there, but at the time, he still just wasn’t ready to trust himself - trust this new world - so letting other people make the decisions was easier..better. Cas picked fucking Lawrence, of course, the sentimental bastard.

It’s then that Dean hears the soft crunch of tiny feet on grass approaching him, breaking him away from his thoughts. He closes his eyes and smiles softly.

“Hi, Uncle Dean.”

Dean chuckles gently, his eyes still closed. “Heya, Hunter.” He feels the grass and the air next to him displace and cracks one eye open to see Hunter arranging himself in the grass, the perfect mimic to his posture. He watches Hunter study the sky, probably trying to figure out what is so interesting up there that Dean hasn’t come inside to tuck him in yet.

So they went, bought a house on the outskirts of the Lawrence city limits, and settled in. Sammy started school in Kansas City, and Cas went with him. Art school, if you can believe it. Dean found himself a job at the old auto shop his dad used to work at to pass the time while his boys were away, and every day, they sat down together for a family dinner.

Dean didn’t know happiness before this. Ten years ago, everything changed…he changed.

“Whatcha been lookin’ at?” he asks, still staring up at the star-filled sky. Dean takes a deep breath and opens both eyes, swallowing up the stars once again. How do you explain to a kid the meaning of… well, everything?

19

“You remember I told you about Uncle Cas?” he asks quietly, not taking his eyes off of the constellation centered above him – Canis Major, Cas had called it.

“You said he was special. He had Grace,” Hunter replies in that ‘matter-of-fact’ way that only six year olds can manage. Dean can only smile at that.

“Yeah, he uh…he was special,” he says quietly. Dean shifts his body and points right above their heads. He’s never shared this, because it was for him and Cas, but if he has to share this anyone, it may as well be his nephew – the second love of his life with the innocent, inquisitive nature that rivals the first. “You see that star right there, the brightest one in the sky?”

“Yeah!” Kid’s already excited like he’s learning the hidden mysteries of world and the secret ingredient to Dean’s burgers. He probably should be telling the kid some science-y shit about how stars are created or naming off the constellations, but where is the magic in that? Dean is laying out here because of his imagination – because if he lays out here and gets lost in the stars long enough, the loneliness goes away. If he lets himself go enough, he can still feel Cas here, next to him.

“Well, uh…people who have Grace, when they have to leave us, it’s because the stars said it was time to come home.”

“You said Uncle Cas went to Heaven,” Hunter says, turning to face Dean.

“He did, Hunter. But that star right there,” he points again and waits until Hunter focuses on that tiny spot in the sky again - Sirius, Cas had said, with a deep chuckle when Dean mocked the name. “That’s your Uncle Cas. That’s his Grace. His Grace is the brightest star in the sky and it’s always gonna shine and it’s always gonna be there for you, okay?” Dean stops short, the words catching under the lump in his throat.

“Good. I’m glad he’s there for you too, Uncle Dean.”

They’re such simple words. Simple words from a six year old boy. But Dean feels himself smiling, his heart expanding and aching and breaking all at the same time.

As a silent tear slips from his eye, Dean reaches one hand out to hold Hunter’s, the last word Cas ever said to him on the tip of his tongue.

“Always, Hunter. Always.”

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By unholyseraphs 21

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By unholyseraphs 23

His Perspective By castielvis Characters & Pairing(s): Sam Winchester, Castiel Novak, Gabriel Novak, Dean Winchester

Rating: T Warning(s): Major Character Death.

Summary: Castiel Novak thinks his life is over, and there’s nothing to left to fight for, when he’s diagnosed with brain cancer. That is, until Dean and Sam Winchester come to stay in the same room as him - and through loud television, an untimely death, and an overenthusiastic big brother, the two seem to fall in love - and fall prey to illness.

Sastiel Big Bang Preview

24

I woke up at 12:02 in the morning and I realized something was very, very wrong. I used to get migraines often, so I thought that maybe one had just woken me up from my slumber and in my disoriented state I was imagining the extra seven tons of pain. Apparently not, because a moment after my eyes landed on the clock and made out the red time in the dark room I slept in, the pain couldn’t be considered a headache unless my skull was as thick as a textbook.

It felt almost as if someone was stepped on my face from every side, and then pushing out in every direction from the inside. Each foot was made of fire and nails and there were tears in my eyes before I even realized my face had begun to grow wet. Apparently I was screaming, too, and flailing a lot, because all of a sudden I could feel the twisted sheets under me. It was uncomfortable, but not as much as so as the burning in my head.

I guess my cries had been loud enough to at least wake one neighbor, and maybe startle two, because soon there were footfalls outside my apartment door. I couldn’t hear them, though, not really - I could barely hear my screams. Which doesn’t really make much sense, I know that, but when you’re so incredibly focused on pain as strong as this it’s kind of hard to hear everything. Especially when it feels like there are flaming feet crushing down on your ears.

Soon enough my door had been opened - I don’t know if someone picked the lock or kicked it down or if I left it unlocked so all the world could enter at their convenience - but I know that soon my small bedroom, with it’s creaking hard floors and light brown walls, was flooded with light and I could feels hands gripping at me, on my arms, the two arms that I had pressed to my face as I screamed.

That night wasn’t my best night. An ambulance got there about twenty minutes later - I couldn’t say thank you to anyone, as I would do if I wasn’t half-unconscious and half-screaming to death - and I couldn’t tell who had gotten in my apartment or who had called the ambulance. But if they’re reading this, my sincerest thanks. I don’t know that I’d be alive right now if you hadn’t heard me screaming. Which sounds more like something from a thriller novel but we all know that’s not what it was.

I woke up at 12:02 in the morning about three weeks ago. Since then it’s been quite an unpleasant experience.

Week One was, as my drug-filled brain had so warmly named it, Guinea Pig Week. Most likely because I was being tested and poked and prodded out - but who knows? Maybe that week my mind was so messed up I thought everyone looked like a guinea pig. I wouldn’t really know, though, that week had gone by so fast.

Week Two, if I can recall properly, was much worse. Because even though I wasn’t constantly being tested and given medications and having medicinal liquids pumped into, I was forced to wait in a hospital room with an old man who would not stop coughing until they got results back. I didn’t frequent hospitals before these weeks, nor did I have any information on how they worked, so I was miserable and impatient with the nurses and doctors and I’m sure they would have liked to just say you’re fine, get out of our faces, but unfortunately that hadn’t been the case.

Because the Sunday, the day that rose lamely the moment after Week Two had ended, a smart-looking doctor moved into my room, with frowns on every crease on his face. He held a paper that held my fate, and my eyes held on to that paper. I don’t know what I was waiting for - my mind was still foggy, but I vaguely remember expecting some kind of death sentence. If only I had been lucky enough. (Not that I’m suicidal. I mean, I don’t think I’d say no to death if he came knocking, but still.)

Because the Sunday, the day that rose lamely the moment after Week Two had ended, a smart-looking doctor moved into my room, with frowns on every crease on his face. He held a paper that held my fate, and my eyes held on to that paper. I don’t know what I was waiting for - my mind was still foggy, but I vaguely remember expecting some kind of death sentence. If only I had been lucky enough. (Not that I’m suicidal. I mean, I don’t think I’d say no to death if he came knocking, but still.)

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By unholyseraphs

Season 10 : Spoilers and Speculation

Audio Meta

Warnings: Profanity & Spoilers

By ssjdebusk, zerostumbleine33, & special guest ben-ja-m-art-in-i

10x01: Black Writer: Jeremy Carver Director: Robert Singer Additional info: Will potentially introduce a new recurring character named Rowena, however this character possibly doesn’t appear in the premiere but rather in 10x03, as the source maybe confused 10x03 with the premiere since it’s shooting first.

10x02: Reichenbach Writer: Andrew Dabb Director: Thomas J. Wright Additional info: Dean has a bit of the devil in him — as will be evidenced by an intense fling he has in the second episode back, with a tough but sympathetic roadhouse cocktail waitress named Ann Marie.

10x03: Soul Survivor Writer: Brad Buckner and Eugenie Ross-Leming Director: Jensen Ackles Additional info: Will feature a new recurring character named Dar. 10x04: Paper Moon 10x05: Fan Fiction Writer: Robbie Thompson Director: Phil Sgriccia Additional info: 200th episode. Reported as being a “musical-ish” episode. “The episode will be very meta. It’s a pure shout-out and thank you to the fans. I haven’t had the chance to read it yet but I’ve heard it’s almost similar to our “The Real Ghostbusters” episode. We’re not at a convention but we’re at a place where they’re doing a play based on the Chuck Shurley books. So not only are these books based on our lives, now people are doing a play based on these books, and someone is haunting it, so we go and try to investigate what’s going on at this play, based on the books about our lives. It’s certainly a direct shout-out to the fans and a thank you for their years of commitment to us.”

10x06: Ask Jeeves S10 Masterpost by crossroadscastiel 28

By kai-art 29

San Diego Comic Con 2014 Misha Collins had a wonderful Comic Con 2014, seen long before the Supernatural Panel taking pictures with John Barrowman, San Diego Police, Aisha Tyler, Orlando Jones and many fans. He made an appearance at TV Guide Magazines: Fan Favorite” panel and was overall beloved and celebrated by his many friends he’s gathered along the way. Later in the night he and Jared visited the H line, picked up Danneel from the airport and they all had dinner out, wrapping up Saturday.

As Sunday morning rolls around, Misha returns to the H line, bringing coffee to those who have been standing in line for hours (as our co-founder Shayla was). He was wearing shorts and appeared to be on a run. It was good stuff. Returning to Shayla, she met Robert Berens and Robbie Thompson in the H hall right before the start of the panel and was very excited to relay that Berens thought that the 200 th episode was his favorite.

At the start of the panel Jensen came onto the stage, flustered and shy as always and introduced the season 10 scene, one from his directed episode. It showed demon!Dean chasing Sam around the Bunker and ended with Dean at the end of a knife and Sam ducking a flown axe. Highlights from the actual panel include information of Castiel’s fading grace, it’s said that early on Castiel’s main concern will be getting Dean rather than regaining his powers or saving himself from his own impending demise. Jensen says that demon!Dean is extremely violent, no big shocker there. Master Chau graced the panel with his presence, demanding to know when Kevin would be resurrected (to no avail) and all and all it was a good panel. The real fun came in the Nerd HQ panel where Jared, Jensen, Misha and Mark along with Aisha Tyler got together (if not altogether sober) and answered questions from the fans. Between Mark and Aisha paying people for their comments, Misha and Jensen cackling through most of it, multiple hilarious fights and stories broke out between the cast. It was one of their most entertaining panels yet.

By ssjdebusk Photos by zerostumbleine33 30

31

Team vaticancameos

Team deus ex mis

Team deus ex mishina

Team kaleofthelord

Tea Team gameofpwns

Team weaponizedcoconut

Teamfreewill 32

shina

Team deus ex mishina

Team vaticancameos

am deus ex mishina

Team deus ex mishina

Team kaleofthelord 33

Team weaponizedcoconut

Supernatural is a show that makes us cry, laugh, and love, but after the recent unnecessary deaths of female characters, it has made some of us angry.

So we decided its time to take a stand. Throughout all 9 seasons of Supernatural, there has never been a female character in more than 13 episodes, out of the 195 episodes total.

Let’s do something to change that.

Women4SPN is exactly what you think it’d be. We’re trying to widen the representation of females within the show.

It’s trying to rally together all the fans and bring a female character into the show - or even back into the show, just like so many of the male characters have been brought back, and here’s how you can help: LoveHannah On a show where recurring female characters are few and far between, we, the fans of Supernatural, need to appreciate those badass ladies who do stick around. This is why Women4SPN calls you to you to voice your love and support for one of the newest additions to our supernatural family — Hannah.

We need to show how much we like having Hannah around!

Love Interests The group of women who’ve had it worst are the love interests. The fandom often dismisses characters like Lisa Braeden, Amelia Richardson and Cassie Robinson because they were mostly there for Sam and Dean’s development. Don’t dislike a love interest because she brings romance into a “man’s” show, or because you ship that particular man with someone else. Instead of just writing them

off as love interests, think of them as actual human beings.

WaywardDaughters ”Ruby here was a witch.”

That is all the information we ever got about Ruby’s past and that is actually a lot compared to some other awesome ladies in Supernatural which shows you just how underdeveloped these amazingwomen are.

We want to invite you to dive in the worlds of these ladies; tell the stories we never got to know.

Anna and Team Free Will As most of you probably already know, Anna was meant to stick around for quite some time, but because of the negative reaction towards her character Castiel took her place.

Let’s imagine what the show would’ve been like if that never happened.

Anna was the one to show Cas the concept of free will, so we think she definitely deserves a place in Team Free Will.

AdventuresinOz What do you think Charlie and Dorothy are doing in Oz? Are they leading a revolution? Did they run into Gilda?

Is Dorothy the jealous type? Let us know!

Or do you really don’t know and do you want the writers to tell us?

In that case you can send them tweets and/or letters.

SaveBela

chance to show the writers just how much we love the wonderful con-woman and would love to see her in the show again—to get a proper ending to her story, rather than a growling in the distance and a clock striking midnight as the episode fades to black.

Krissy and friends Right now Krissy is the character we’re most likely to get back, so that’s what we’re going try do! And maybe we’ll be able to get Josephine back too in the process.

MissingMeg (original idea by megsblood) We know a lot of you miss Meg, but do the writers know? Let’s make sure they do by tweeting about it using the hashtag #MissingMeg. SPNspinoff After bloodlines failed, the writers are looking for a new idea for a potential spinoff. This is a great way to bring back some beloved female characters.

We’ll have to be quick because the writers are going to start discussing this in june.

You can contribute to all of these causes by creating any sort of content and tagging it as Women4SPN. Make sure to follow us on tumblr and twitter to see more about this and other female-centered projects. And don’t forget to sign the SaveBela petition.

- Submitted by rubysburnedwings

The #SaveBela campaign is our 34

- Banner by haelstorm

“I was the best of those sons of bitches! Even you have to admit - I’m awesome!”

From Oct 4-11 Women4SPN will be hosting a Ruby Appreciation Week! So tag your fics, art, headcanons, graphic, fanmixes etc. with #rubyappreciationweek during this time to celebrate everything we love about the most loyal demon, Ruby.

• Day 1: Funny Ruby • Day 2: Badass Ruby • Day 3: Ruby’s Relationships • Day 4: Ruby Quotes • Day 5: Best of Ruby 1.0 • Day 6: Best of Ruby 2.0 • Day 7: Favorite Scene or Character Trait

As always, we encourage you to follow women4spn on tumblr and twitter to see more of this and other female-centric projects!

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Hannah’s Fall by queentrickster

feathers burning swirling in fire up and up while I fall down towards the earth I scream as my wings get ripped out I crash on earth with broken wings an angel that can’t fly an angel that needs a vessel before it is too late before I perish a blue flame that fades away like so many but who will guide me who will bring me peace I search in the dark trying to find a light 36

37 By doublettea

make it quick.”

She’s got a gun in her hand and a fire in her eyes when she kicks the door lazily open. She wears tall heels, a short gray trench-coat, and a smooth smile.

“Good. Here’s what I propose: You get me out of my deal, and I’ll help you out with whatever -” she waves a hand “- demon-y stuff it is you do. I help you, but I get to stay human.”

“Do your kind even use the restroom?” she asks. Her voice is accented, high and clear. “I’ve been wondering.”

Ruby eyes her carefully, hand drifting casually in the direction of the knife at her side. “What are you?” Even to Ruby’s enhanced demonic gaze, she looks to be human through and through. “How can you see me?”

“Not good enough, sweetheart.” Ruby rights herself from where she’s been leaning against the wall and steps forward; she’d take a horde of demons over this drivel any day.

“Ah ah ah,” the woman says. “You haven’t heard me out.”

Her smile is silk and wine and promises. Ruby crosses her arms. “Very soon,” the woman says, “I will be in possession of a certain gun. I’ve just received a phone call from its owners; they’ll be expecting me shortly. Now, if you help me, I will work with you, and you will live. If you don’t help me, well.” A smile, a shrug. “You’ll experience the effects of that gun firsthand. Tell me, have you heard of Samuel Colt?”

The woman ignores her. “What are you doing in here?” she asks. Her eyes slide over the grungy floor of the gas station bathroom, the cracked and grimy sink, the water-stained walls; her mouth twists as though she’s just eaten something bitter.

This woman is blocking the door - but if she’s as human as she looks, that won’t be a problem. Ruby lets her lips curve with a careless smile. “That’s not how this works, shortbus.”

She cocks her head. “That gun? Not gonna work on me.”

Ruby’s blood - well, the vessel’s blood that she only keeps pumping for appearances - runs cold. Her mouth feels dry.

She licks her lips, swallows, shifts her weight. “How much time do you have?”

“Oh, I think you’ll find it will.” Teeth flash in her smile. “Salt rounds.” She gives a satisfied shrug. “You hear a thing or two when the Winchester brothers cross your path.”

The woman narrows her eyes. “Why?”

Ruby considers the gun with a new wariness. “Yeah?” she says. Her eyes don’t leave the slender fingers curled around the trigger. Salt won’t kill her - won’t even hurt as bad as some of the stuff she’s gone through in Hell - but she certainly doesn’t like it. “What else have you heard?”

Ruby thinks fast. “The spell - the one to break your deal? It takes some time to work,” she lies. “If your orientation with the Hellhounds is in a couple of hours, there’s nothing I can do for you.”

“I have longer than that.”

“Oh, this and that.” Expensive-looking heels click against the cement floor as she takes one small step forward, then another. She motions with the gun. “Not much of anything important… One thing did catch my ear, though.” The cocksure curve of her smile provokes a wave of cold apprehension in Ruby’s stomach. “Something about a demon who claims to know how to break a demon deal?”

Ruby clenches her jaw. “How long?”

“Long enough,” the woman insists.

There is quiet in the crappy bathroom as Ruby thinks. A truck grumbles past outside. Shoes slap the pavement; the bells on the gas station door tinkle as it’s opened.

Ruby swallows, smiles, talks fast. “Oh,” she says. “That. Well, you can’t believe everything you hear, can you?”

“Fine,” Ruby says. She uncrosses her arms. “I’ll help you.”

The gun isn’t lowered, but the woman looks pleased. “Excellent,” she says. “I hoped you would come around. If you’ll just come with me…” She leads the way out of the bathroom; Ruby trails behind with some reluctance. The demons from earlier appear to have gone; they walk unhassled to a small, sleek car.

“You are Ruby, then?” Her eyes flick up and down Ruby’s body. Inexplicably, Ruby feels a sudden rush of uncertainty about her current vessel. Inexplicably because it’s a great vessel: it’s got long legs, long, soft blond hair, and one hell of a nice face.

She squares her shoulders. “I might be.”

“I’m Bela, by the way,” the woman says smoothly as she unlocks the car. She slips into the driver’s seat, and Ruby climbs into the passenger’s. The gun is still pointed in her direction. “Don’t bother trying anything.”

The woman nods sharply. “Good. I’ll make you a new deal.”

“Nu-uh. No thanks. I’ve been outa that business for centuries. Gets real old real fast, deal-making.”

Bela starts the car; Ruby turns to stare vacantly out the window.

That smile doesn’t waver. “I think you’ll want to hear my offer.”

This certainly wasn’t how she expected her day to go.

Ruby presses her lips into a curt smile. With this woman in front of the door, she’s got no way of checking whether the demons who’d been heckling her are still out there. Lots of vicious name-calling from that lot, but killing them and dealing with their vessels would’ve been more tedious than hiding out. She breathes a quick sigh. “Yeah, all right. But

Now she’s got an indeterminate amount of time - maybe months, maybe days - to figure out how the hell to get someone out of a demon deal. And if she can’t? She’s dead.

– casbunnies 38

By doublettea

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2

Issue

Poll Results

By kyofetus

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I would kill for a spin off with Claire Novak, exploring the world with her new found (well, new found 5 seasons ago) knowledge of angels. Maybe she would start hunting, working to discover what happened to her father. It would be so cool to see her story alongside what the Winchesters went through, surviving the Apocalpyse and seeing how that affected events outside of the Winchesters circle, the civil war between Raphael, Godstiel, Leviathans. Imagine how amazing it would be to see her story when all the angels fell.

-lilac-cas

Issue 3 Poll Questions 41

~JENSEN ACKLES ~

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~MEETS TWITTER ~

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Dean/Ca

The deancasbigbang is a slash/gen fic chal around a romantic or a general strong frie

Posting begins O By sharkofdoom Author museaway, Artist jayi, Posting: Oct 2nd Fandom/Genre: Supernatural / Season 9 canon divergent AU, romance, domestic, futurefic Pairing(s): Dean/Cas, Sam/OFC (minor) Rating: R Word Count: 57k Warnings: None Summary: After his humanity is restored, Dean wakes up in bed with Castiel, a wedding ring, and no memory of the past twelve years. The reality passes every test he knows, but something's off. Something's wrong— really wrong—and it might just be him.

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44

Author litlflrt, Artist twistedangel0, Posting: Oct 8th Fandom/Genre: Supernatural/ Romance Pairing (s): Dean Winchester/Castiel Rating: M-Mature Word Count: 32,005 Warnings: Sex, Violence, Descriptions of Injuries/ Surgery Summary: Ex-Doctor Castiel lives alone on a small farm that he hopes to someday turn into a horse ranch. But Dick Roman wants his land, and has run off all his hired help, leaving him to run the farm by himself, and forcing him to strongly consider selling. One evening two young men, one severely injured and dressed in a Confederate soldier's uniform, show up at his door, and Castiel can't bring himself to turn away the injured man although he is strongly opposed to treating a Rebel soldier. He ends up befriending Sam Winchester while nursing Dean Winchester back to health. Their father is a U.S. Marshall, and Sam offers to fetch him to deal with Roman and his men, and after he leaves, Castiel and Dean become closer. And when Roman gets tired of waiting for Castiel to give up his land, Dean stands beside him to protect what's his.

018

as Big Bang

llenge with accompanying artwork centering endship between Dean/Castiel or Jensen/Misha.

October first!

028

Author ceeainthereforthat, Artist defiler_wyrm, Posting: Oct 14th Fandom/Genre: Supernatural/Horror, Casefic Pairing (s): Dean/Castiel

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 21,496 Warnings: minor character death by suicide, self-harm, cutting, domestic violence, stalking Summary: About the author: J. Lee Harrison grew up in Port Orchard, WA. He lives in New Mexico and enjoys traveling throughout the US. His novel Haunted won a Bram Stoker award for Best First Novel. You can learn more at www.jleeharrison.com.

Cas laughs every time he reads his bio. If it were honest, it would say “Castiel Jones is the author of seventeen novels, all written in states he's visited, published under five different pen names. He lives nowhere in particular - after years on the run from his own real-life horror story, he's forgotten how to stay in one place." Although it could be worse, he supposes. He could always be one of the characters in one of his stories.

Some nights, he worries that maybe he is.

When Dean Winchester recognizes him as one of Dean's favorite horror authors, he should be packing up to leave Minnesota. But the handsome, mysterious bad boy who loves books, lives on the road, and tells lies for a living feels real and solid, in contrast to the nightmare that follows his life no matter how far he runs.

048

Author belwrites, Artist cheriiart, Posting: Oct 22nd Fandom/Genre: SPN (AU) Pairings: Dean/Cas, Charlie/Dorothy; background Sam/Ruby, Sam/Jess,

Anna/Chuck Rating: R Word Count: 33,195 Warnings: sex, swearing, summer camp shenanigans, hinting at unaccepting fathers Summary: Dean is thirteen when he starts going to Uncle Bobby's summer camp, and when he meets his best friend, Cas Novak. Over the next ten summers, Camp Wooded Falls becomes the backdrop for friendships, romances, and drama as they move from high school to college and ultimately into adulthood.

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Author wincechesters, Artist milcheschmidte, Posting: Oct 23rd Fandom/Genre: Supernatural/AU Pairing (s): Dean Winchester/Castiel, Sam Winchester/Jessica Moore, minor background Jo Harvelle/Cassie Robinson, minor background Anna Milton/Ruby Rating: NC-17 Word Count: 67,351 Warnings: None Summary: There is a race that takes place every year in Alaska called the Iditarod, a thousand mile journey across the Alaskan wilderness by dogsled team that has come to be known as the “Last Great Race on Earth�. It is a test of endurance, of the relationship between dogs and their people, traversing mountain ranges, frozen rivers, forest and tundra. When writer Castiel Milton is forced to spend two and a half months in Alaska at Winchester Kennels to cover the race preparations and the Iditarod itself, the only person more dismayed than he is Dean Winchester, one of his hosts. Castiel views his assignment as a punishment and is less than impressed by his surly host, and Dean distrusts the sheltered cityborn writer who has invaded their home and their lives.

But soon, as the Winchesters prepare for their race and Castiel learns about sled dogs and and what a musher’s lifestyle is all about, they forget to hate each other and their relationship evolves into something neither of them expected.

050

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055

Author casamancy, Artist katotronik, Posting: Oct 27th Fandom/Genre: Supernatural/ endverse!au Pairing (s): Dean/Cas, Cas/Balthazar, Meg/Ruby Rating: R Word Count: ~21000 Warnings: PTSD, alcoholism, drug abuse (specifically: marijuana, heroin, and DMT), polyamory, mentions of suicide, mentions and descriptions of graphic violence, major character death.

Summary: In the thirteen years since Dean Winchester fought and lost his brother in Korea, he's become steadily dependent on alcohol. Castiel Novak is a forwardminded flower child with a lot of vices, and after the two meet at the first march on Washington against the Vietnam War, they can't stay apart.

By lovelygadreel

Author marmelady_orange, Artist sanwall, Posting: Nov 12th Fandom/Genre: Supernatural Pairing (s): Dean Winchester/Castiel, Dean Winchester/OC, Castiel/OC, Sam Winchester/Jody Mills Rating: M / NC-17 Word Count: ~117,000 Warnings: 95% Alternate Season 9, Major Character Deaths, Character Deaths, Canon-Level Violence, Slow Build, Strong Language, Sexual Content Summary: Four months after the Fall, Sam recuperates—the natural way—at the bunker while Dean hunts alongside a very human Castiel. While investigating a bizarre case involving children in Minnesota, they meet a six-year-old orphan girl who turns out to be sought after by both angels and demons. Trying to help the world find a balance again is hard enough, but adding an adopted daughter in dire need of protection and a budding relationship to the mix might just make things a tad bit more difficult for everyone.

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Author backhendl, schnaeffchen and nubblebob, Artist kokkaii, Posting: Nov 18th Fandom/Genre: Supernatural/AU, Drama, Romance, Mystery, Horror,

Fantasy-esque Pairing (s): Dean/Castiel, Sam/Ruby, minor Bela/ Balthazar, past Jimmy/Amelia Rating: NC-17 Word Count: 60,911 Warnings: Extreme gore, drug/substance abuse, addiction, minor character death, vulgar/sexual language and content, physical and mental violence (gaslighting in particular), (mentions of) various mental illnesses, extreme hallucinations and war flashbacks, existential crisis Summary: In the year 1923, when jazz music still blares through the dance halls, when flappers still swing their hips to the beat and liquor is sipped in secret, Dean Winchester first enters "The Utopian Magical Company of New York" upon the persuasion of his brother.

In hopes to escape his past and present, Dean soon finds himself sucked into a multicolored spectacle for all senses with animals that change their species at the crack of a whip and words that spill onto the fabric of reality like ink.

But Dean finds solace not only in the stunning show but especially in a charming storyteller named Castiel, who fascinates him with his stark blue eyes and polarizing personality.

However when mysterious incidents begin to happen and Dean embarks on a search for the truth, he realizes that something about the establishment is horribly wrong.

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Author a_frayed_edge, Artist truthismusic, Posting: Oct 16th Fandom/Genre: Pairing (s): Dean/Castiel Rating: NC-17 Word Count: 27,000 Warnings: Summary: Four years ago Castiel Lord married local mechanic, Dean Winchester, and for two years their relationship flourished, until a decision made Castiel sent Dean out the front door, and the divorce papers were served. Now Castiel is two days from the alter with a new fiance on his arm, and he's over Dean, he really is, their relationship dissolved for completely valid reasons. Of course, that's a lot easier to believe when Dean isn't standing in his mother's back yard, offering an olive branch in the form of a favor for the Lord household. Suddenly memories of their past are everywhere and Castiel is faced with a choice he never thought he'd get again. Based on the film, The Philadelphia Story.

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Author mishcollin, Artist anobviousaside, Posting: Nov 18th Fandom/Genre: Supernatural Pairing: Castiel/Dean Winchester Rating: M Word Count: 42,265 Warnings: None Summary: The angels have fallen, leaving Castiel graceless and Dean with, well, more of other people’s problems. When a string of couples goes missing on the east coast, Dean and Cas decide to investigate--and find themselves trapped and hunted on a couples’ counseling cruise. Although battling monsters at sea is dangerous enough, sorting through emotional baggage proves to be far more deadly. (And, in which Cas embarks to find his missing grace and Dean is put out. Not necessarily in that order.)

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146

Author zerostumbleine33, Artist dudewheresmypie, Posting: Oct 31st Fandom/Genre: Supernatural/Sci-Fi, Fantasy, Dystopian AU Pairing (s): Dean/Cas, Sam/OC, Char-

lie/Dorothy Rating: R Word Count: 63,000 Warnings: Homophobia, explicit language, violence, angst, sexual content Summary: Far into the future, long after the third world war decimated the earth, there existed two groups of people. On the ground live the less fortunate, seemingly forgotten by time. Their water and food resources are limited and controlled by the government.

High above the ring of pollution and radiation live the colonies, populated by the elite and those skilled enough to be granted admittance to the military. Dean is 21, a water delivery pilot for the military who grew up on Terra. After he returns home for the first time in three years to his hometown in Kansas he is met by his childhood friend Cas, who he left behind all those years ago. As Dean and Cas fight to find their footing with one another despite the distance between them, Sam uncovers a government secret that will throw the whole world into chaos. Soon, they must all work together to preserve the life they know and fight for a better one.

Author gankyourdarlings, Artist casamancy, Posting: Oct 31st Fandom/Genre: AU, Historical Romance, Drama Pairing (s): Dean/Cas Rating: NC-17 (?)

Word Count: 46,182 Warnings: Character death, Racist language and beliefs reflecting the historical context of the story Summary: The war is supposedly almost over, but if the end is coming, it's hard to see from the Pacific.

Amid the final push, a submarine captain on shore leave meets a grounded fighter pilot. Carrying out a love affair between war patrols and bombing raids, you’ve got to expect to get pulled apart. The trick is all in how you find each other again.

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50

ATTENTION: THIS IS AN NOT A TEST Authorities believe that a dangerous blood-borne virus is to blame for the sudden spike in both murders and deaths in recent weeks in and around Kansas City. It is thought to be the same virus discovered in River Grove, Oregon where at least twenty people were discovered dead in 2006. Scientists have made no comments about whether this is the same strain found in the Niveus Pharmaceuticals swine flu vaccine in 2010. Authorities are calling the virus “Croatoan.�

Speculations that this may be an premeditated attack of biological warfare has forced government officials to take action. By order of Acting Regional Command, residents of Kansas City and outline areas are required to evacuate by August 1st, 2014. Entry to the area will be prohibited and strictly enforced beginning that date. Displaced residents in need of shelter are urged to contact their local law enforcement. All evacuees will be asked to provide identification and may be subject to onsite medial testing. Any evacuees resisting official directives will be detained. Authorities urge residents to use marked evacuation routes to maintain efficiency.

Sources say that victims of the virus are known to be physically aggressive and show a drive to attack others. If you encounter an infected individual, DO NOT ENGAGE. Contact local law enforcement immediately and seek refuge.

Please, do your part and spread the word. Your safety, and the safety of your neighbors, is our number one concern.

By dudewheresmypie 51

On August 1st, 2014, sup son 5. Supernatural fans #croatoanday #hoardthetoiletpaper. N

52

pernatural fans decided to commemorate the iconic episode “The End” from seas everywhere wrote “croatoan” on their arms. They tagged the infamous event as y on social media as well as other fun slogans from the episode such as Never one to miss out on a fan event, Misha Collins even tweeted a photo of himself with “Croatoan” written on his arm.

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54

Why 2014 Was Always Safe By ilovestarkidtoomuch

I

had a problem with the episode “The End”. It never sat right with me. If every-

thing Sam and Dean did would still lead them to that point in time, why didn’t, even after altering the story, they still end up in the garden in 2014?

Zachariah was losing Dean. He knew that he’d never accept Michael unless he saw it as the last resort, and the only way to save Sam. We know that angels can create entire universes, because we see Zachariah create one in It’s A Terrible Life, making Dean Winchester Dean Smith, so that he could learn that his life was always going to make him a hunter. Gabriel also created one in Changing Channels. He makes an entire world for Sam and Dean, trying to teach them to play their roles.

Dean was never sent into the future. He was sent into a situation Zachariah created, just like in It’s A Terrible Life and Changing Channels.

Zachariah created a world where the Croatoan virus had spread, Sam had said yes to Lucifer because him and Dean had a huge fallout, and Dean had turned into a cold-blooded killer. Cas’ grace (which was failing in 2009) had completely vanished, leaving him human. Zachariah made sure that everything lined up, and that it was something Dean wouldn’t let happen if given the chance. He knew Dean would go to Bobby’s first so he set up that Bobby had been killed (the wheelchair was even still there with a bullet through it) and the first thing Dean saw was the picture, showing him where to go next. Zachariah made sure that it went as he planned so that Dean could see what would happen in 2014. But that was never actually the future. It was just a world he created for Dean to see. He wanted Dean to think that there was no other option then saying yes to Michael. So in his universe he made Sam say yes to Lucifer in the same place Sam actually says yes to Lucifer. But instead of overpowering him like Sam does later in the season, he’s taken over by it.

Zachariah knows that Dean can’t stand to see his brother become a monster. He knows that Dean will give up anything so that it doesn’t happen. He thinks that Dean will come back to 2009 and instead of saying no again, he’ll say yes to Michael to prevent Sam saying yes to Lucifer and being this monster. He even adds the ending that “[Dean] will always end up here”. 2014 was never going to end with Sam snapping Dean’s neck. It was pure fiction created by Zachariah in an attempt to get Dean to say yes.

But instead of Dean saying yes, he learned that he has to keep Sam close because Sam is what keeps him human and he’s what keeps Sam human. Dean won’t let himself turn into the cold-blooded killer Zachariah made him, and he won’t let Sam become a monster. But he doesn’t do it by saying yes to Michael, like Zachariah had hoped.

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This is

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the end

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By unholyseraphs

By doublettea

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By doublettea

Cosplay by cliffnotesofanerd

Photography by dendacien

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By devilsvessel

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The Mark of Cain, Curing Dean, and Prometheus By dustydreamsanddirtyscars

C

the fire in order for humanity to develop further and be able to keep warm, cook, etc.. Which if we are stretching things a bit might be comparable to Dean dying fighting Metatron to keep humanity save from him.

arver and Co. have been stressing that the

true ~problem about curing Dean might not as much be tied to him being a demon now and not seeing an urgency or a reason to trade feeling carefree and careless for any sort of negative emotions again, but the MoC. Therefore I kind of could imagine that maybe whatever they try to do to cure Dean might only be temporary. Maybe something a bit like the wall Death created for Sam’s hell trauma, which was never completely secure (What if around midseason Dean’s eyes will flash black again and he’ll be worse than he’s ever been before and with that sort of paralleling when Sam’s wall broke?).

There are a couple of shots in the episode, that kind of felt ~similar or ~familiar to Dean/Demon!Dean.

Like the visual of Prometheus waking up in the morgue, with his wounds healing and his eyes shifting back to “alive” for example (I actually have to hurry a bit, maybe I’ll expand later on when I’m home if people are interested in discussing this further). Or how Sam and Dean were sitting on the other bed waiting for Prometheus to wake up again, which seemed familiar to the way Sam looked at Dean when he lay him down on his bed (also a wonderful parallel to S2 when Dean was looking at Sam’s corpse btw) as well as Crowley sitting down next to him. Just one last very crazy idea…

So if it turns out being like that. It would make sense that the MoC is the true problem that needs fixing and not Dean’s demonness per se, since it’s rather a symptom that would be treated rather than anything else. I guess - even if Sam and Cas or whoever really finds a way for Dean to become human again as long as he carries the mark and he dies, he’ll transform again and again and again until all eternity possibly (if they’d always cure him back).

Even though the “Dean has a son”-scenario is off the table I had to think about it again in relation to Prometheus. Because he really only starts fighting his ~fate or being in a less depressed mindset when he learns his son is cursed as well… Of course this wouldn’t apply to Dean since if a kid of his was introduced it would not be related to the MoC, but still… The love for your child is something entirely different and might touch parts which seem dead and gone and cannot be accessed by anybody else.

And you know what that kind of reminds me of?

Prometheus. I recently re-watched the episode and hola, there are so many interesting possibilities and parallels to consider. I am no expert on Prometheus’ tale as such, therefore I am really only basing this spec on what we know from the episode from S8.

Just like Dean now, Prometheus was cursed, to die every day until eternity. He risked his life and stole 65

I Never Lied Dean, It’s Important, It’s Fundamental By yaelstiel Something about Crowley’s speech just wouldn’t let me rest or work. So I just had to write this down.

There is something luring in his voice, in the tone he is speaking, quietly but contentedly, demanding yet affectionate. Misleading, I would even say sexual.

In 9x11, he told Dean ‘so basically…. We’re family’ . That was the last time someone called Dean family and this is doing something to Dean, because for him, family is the highest level of love and acceptance. He belongs somewhere. Crowley knows that, and he is the welcoming father of an adopting family.

The sexual part is both in the visual and the tone. He is sitting in Dean’s bedroom, in his most intimate place in the world, the one place he considers ‘his’. He is sitting there, comfortably, looking over Dean’s body on the bed. And he speaks with a low, luring voice. He addresses Dean’s animalistic-demonic self now, ‘let’s howl at the moon.’ Crowley is addressing something very deep, but he is doing this in the subtext, so Dean can’t quite refuse him in that particular moment.

He is using some kind of parental / lover authority, open your eyes, see what I see (come, come to me, you are mine now ). All so very affectionate. This is exactly what Dean needs now, when he knows his decisions have led him to this place, he is full of guilt and self-hatred, and there is someone who is willing to accept him.

He is addressing Dean’s trust issues ‘you have to believe me….. I might not have told you the entire truth, but I never lied. I never lied dean, it’s important, it’s fundamental’ He is building something. If he wants Dean to become his personal ‘hellhound’ , he needs Dean to trust him.

Crowley knows that Dean might wake up more powerful than he himself is, so he is building trust from the start, not allowing Dean to oppose him, he knows he needs Dean, and he plays with his mind so that Dean won’t think he is stronger than him, like an abusive partner that is making the victim think they are nothing if not for him.

And after all that, he is getting close, with his speech he lays the foundations for that trust, and he is getting closer, he is touching Dean, yet again, so gently, lays the blade into Dean’s hand, and places that hand on Dean’s heart. That is not a form of casual touching, and most of all not for Dean. When was the last time someone touched him so gently?

“Listen to me Dean Winchester, what you are feeling right now, it’s not death, it’s life, a new kind of life. Open your eyes, Dean. See what I see, feel what I feel. Let’s go take a howl at that moon.”

And Dean obeys.

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The Most Important Object

…has seemingly lost its meaning. I have been thinking about the Impala and Demon!Dean some more, because the Impala has always been sort of a constant throughout the series and with it Dean. In an interesting way Dean and the Impala have always been connected. What happened to Dean, happened to the car and you could always trace all of it back to what it tells about Dean at certain points in his life: From Bobby saying the Impala is too damaged to be rebuilt (therefore pretty much ~dead) to Dean dying in the hospital in 2x01 „In My Time of Dying“ to Dean taking his anger over his father’s death and feeling guilty because of it out on the car and with that sort of hurting himself to the Impala sitting hollowed out and abandoned in 5x04 „The End“, because 2014!Dean is only a shell of who he used to be as well to season 9, when the Impala gets marked by demons and Dean gets the mark of Cain.

I have been talking about the Impala as an extension and or metaphor for Dean’s psyche before (x) and also speculated a bit about Dean not caring about the Impala as much or not at all before we got the spoilers, he actually truly won’t care about it like he used to (x). Now we know that Demon!Dean has the Impala, but doesn’t care about it. Effectively Demon!

Dean does, what Dean would probably never do: „Put baby in the corner“.

He doesn’t care about it, just like he doesn’t care about himself or anybody else. This is particularly interesting, because as much as the Impala had always mostly served as a metaphor for Dean’s psyche, it also always stood for family and to a good extent John Winchester (There was a great post about this aspect going around – about Dean letting go of the Impala in order to fully come into his own and finally free himself from his father’s influence – a few months back. I cannot find the link and forgot, who wrote it, but please, if you do know, put a link in here.). I guess that’s why I

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t in the Entire Universe...

just really like the heavy symbolic meaning to Demon!Dean not being attached to the car. Just like Sam and Cas are in his reach and could help/ be of support/be the family he needs, he chooses not to be with them, because apparently they don’t mean the same thing they used to mean to him anymore (at least that’s how it appears to be in the beginning of the season). His emotional ties have been capped and with that the emotional ties to the Impala as well (also consider this for a moment, the Impala not meaning anything to Dean, the car that helped Sam overwhelm Lucifer).

What’s interesting to me is how Dean will ~treat the Impala and even more so, how will he talk about it. It seems Demon!Dean not only carries himself differently (shoulders squared, walking tall, a sort of bounce to his steps) and embraces his newfound powers, but also talks differently (not just in his voice being less gravely, but the way he words things) like Jensen has mentioned in the SDCC interviews a few times. I am interested in seeing if Dean will call the Impala just „the car“ (or maybe nothing), but most definitely not „baby“.

I could imagine that, if he uses this sort of endearment, it might only be in a sarcastic manner. It seems similar to how he says „Sammy“ in the sneak peek. The notion „Sammy“ usually carries as a diminutive and endearment (more on that here) is to show affection and care, when Dean is searching for his brother with an axe in his hands, you don’t hear any of that in his voice and I am endlessly fascinated about Demon!Dean’s personality and how Jensen delivers (really, those 60 seconds alone, made butterflies swirl around in my stomach – he is so so so rocking it) those nuances and changes to Human!Dean.

By dustydreamsanddirtyscars

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By kai-art

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His eyes flicker open and he is reborn. It is a peculiar thing indeed feeling your soul rot within you, slowly and without your permission. To feel the very essence of your humanity turn to smoke. All the things that once consumed him start to fall away. Doubts. Regrets. The weight of the world that he could never quite shake, lifted from his shoulders. Replaced with an empty pit in his stomach that makes him want to do something, anything to fill that void. Ironically he thinks he might understand what it means to be the thing that goes bump in the night, after all this time, truly understand what it means to be a monster. But of course, that will come in handy, now that he is one.

By ssjdebusk

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By prinzik

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Why didn’t you look for me?

Why didn’t you let me go?

By crossroadscastiel Something that is really intriguing me right now is the major contrast between the beginning of season 8, the beginning of season 10. How Sam looking for Dean is being called an “answer” to him not looking for Dean in season 8, according for Carver, but…I don’t think it’s that simple, nor do I think that’s the true intent of this arc.

What we’re dealing with here are extremes, either you disappeared and I didn’t look for you at all, or you disappeared and I turned into a monster to find you. According to Jensen, Dean isn’t going to be happy with what Sam ends up doing in order to find him. He’s going to ask him why he didn’t just let him go. I think that in Sam’s mind this WILL be his attempt to make up for not looking for Dean when he was in Purgatory, when in reality he is simply feeding into the toxic cycle they are both still trapped in. I wouldn’t expect for him to not search for Dean this time, but it looks like the way he’s going to go about it will be anything but healthy or positive in nature.

For Sam it’s all or nothing though…he either drops out of the life all together, or throws himself headlong into the abyss. He’s either in or he’s out and there’s no middle ground. Between season 7 and season 8 it’s pretty clear Sam was in a very bad place, when he hit the dog that night it’s been theorized by many that he was borderline suicidal and completely lost because Dean was gone. To me it was never about him not caring enough to look, but it was about finally putting an end to that Winchester merry-go-round we are all too familiar with. He wanted to move on and finally be done with it all…so he accepted that Dean was gone…and then he met Amelia.

I do think this is something that caused him immense guilt down the line, but it also served as a glimpse at what Sam truly wants for himself. He wants a life that’s not all killing monsters and the fate of the world resting his shoulders, and for that year that meant cutting himself off from the life completely, leaving Kevin to fend for himself and accepting that his brother was dead. It was one extreme, and now in season 10 we will be seeing another it would seem.

The PR that’s surrounding the show right now is amusing me to be honest, particularly what Jared has been saying, because it’s sort of missing the mark in more ways than one. He’s really emphasizing that “NOW Sam loves Dean and is willing to do anything for him” but…this has never been about love, or a lack thereof. There has never been a lack of love between Sam and Dean, but what there has been is an incredibly unhealthy dynamic for pretty much their entire lives, but that’s another topic for another day.

It’s not about love, the love is already there, it’s about finding some middle ground. Now granted the situation in season 8 was entirely different than this one, but the purpose of this major contrast is still the same in my eyes. We will have seen Sam going to both extremes, and likely realizing neither one of those extremes was the solution to his problems.

Finding balance is clearly something that every character on Supernatural needs to do, and I hope we see this theme playing out as season 10 progresses. Balance between the dark and the light, balance between dropping out all together and sacrificing yourself, and balance between holding on too tight and letting go completely.

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In season 3, when Dean was about to go to hell, his ‘goodbye’ to Sam was a prolonged one,. It kept on going for a few episodes , and basically, his death wish was ‘Keep fighting, remember what dad taught us, remember what I taught you' Now, his final words are “I am proud of us”.

He is no longer a commander, no longer expecting Sam to do things that he would have done, no longer fighting or expecting to fight. He is defeated, but in a way, that brings him peace.

I am proud of us.

It’s a little something that comes from the deepest core of Dean Winchester. He wants Sam to remember them as a team, and as a team he is proud of.

In a way, he is closing this era for them, and for Sam, by no longer expecting him to pick up the fight from where Dean left it.

And I think that in those final words, in a way, Dean is ‘letting go’.

The road will be long, and hard, but something inside him, in those final moments, his last struggle to stabilize himself in order to say something to Sam, from all the things he could’ve said, he chose ‘I’m proud of us’ It’s peaceful in a way.

It’s heartbreaking in many.

But this is what they both needed.

Whatever Sam will choose to do now, will be his own choice, and when he will bring Dean back, Dean will know he did this out of love and care and not out of duty.

By yaelstiel 75

By kai-art

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Don’t Let Me Go

By Charjx

Sam carried Dean the best he could, out of the warehouse. Away from here. It seemed like Cas and Gadreel succeeded in destroying the tablet.

Otherwise, Metatron would have stuck around to finish the job. Sam’s jacket was beginning to soak with Dean’s blood. He’s lost a lot of blood. He’s going to die if I don’t get help. Sam silently prayed for Cas, hoping the angel could hear him and heal Dean. Cas did not come to his call. Something was wrong. Everything had gone seriously wrong.

Metatron is out there. Cas is not here. And Dean…

Dean slumped even further onto Sam. ‘Sam, hold up,’ Dean breathed. He had to let Dean rest. Dean leaned against an old rotting table and held Sam by his shoulders. ‘I need to say something,’ Dean struggled.

No. Don’t say anything. I don’t want to hear it. Save your strength. ‘What?’ asked Sam instead.

‘So Gadreel bites the dust and the tablet, arguably the most powerful instrument in the history of the universe and for what again?’ questioned Metatron. ‘Oh that’s right. To save Dean Winchester,’ he sneered.

Cas looked up at the mention of Dean. Dread began to fill him. ‘I mean that was your goal right?’

Metatron continued. ‘You draped yourself in the flag of heaven but ultimately it was all about saving one human, right?’

“So let me freeze time Before it turns cold The moments go by and life goes on The torturous stars Are taking every breath I wish I held The love is my heart Is never ending”

Cas turned away. He couldn’t even look at Metatron. He was guilty by all accounts. Dean started off as part of his assignment – to protect him. Somehow along the way, that protection became a vow. In all his life of existence, Cas had never felt more alive than he was with Dean.

Dean challenged everything he used to believe in; made him see the good in humanity; that free will was worth fighting for. That Dean was worth fighting for.

While Dean had sacrificed a lot to save Cas; likewise Cas had also given up so much for that man.

He lost his place with his brethren, his home above, his angel grace and his own life. And Cas knew that if he could do it all over again, he wouldn’t choose differently. Because it lead Cas to him.

As an angel, Cas had never experienced love but from what he understood about that complex emotion with so many different answers, he somehow knew that his love resided with Dean Winchester.

‘I’m proud of us,’ declared Dean, staring straight into Sam’s eyes. His hand moved to tap on Sam’s face like a father who was proud of his son would have done. Tears threatened to overwhelm Sam as he watched his brother’s eyes closed and fell on him.

‘Hey, hey, wake up, Dean! DEAN!’ gestured Sam desperately. You can’t die. You’re my brother. I’m so sorry Dean. Dean! Just wake up! Please!!

Dean didn’t respond. Sam knew he was gone. He cried for his brother’s passing as he hugged Dean tightly for the last time.

‘But guess what?’ eyed Metatron. ‘He’s dead too.’

Cas turned back to face that son of a female dog.

His eyes went wide, mouth parted in shock. This is not happening. Not Dean. I failed him.

After smashing the tablet, Cas found himself handcuffed to the chair. Metatron had returned. If he had returned, that would mean Dean had... Dean wouldn’t fail. He couldn’t. Pieces of the tablet lay shattered on the floor.

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By unholyseraphs

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White Fire

By Cliffnotesofanerd

Dean.”

“

Dean throws a few bills on the bar. It’s probably enough. He doesn’t really care if it is or not.

Dean freezes. His fingers tighten around the shot glass, his shoulders tense before he swears under his breath. He can’t pretend he didn’t hear, or pretend he didn’t recognize the voice. Too late for that now.

The heat of the day is still rising from the pavement outside in the parking lot in ripples that Dean can see if he tries hard enough. It’s something to look at aside from the angel, at least.

So he turns. Flicks his eyes to black, now that he has control over it. No one else in the bar will care, or even notice. Humans don’t pay attention to stupid little things like that.

“Dean.”

“Sixty-six percent of what you’ve said to me in the last five months has been my name, now,” Dean interjects. Whoa. Okay. Now the wings are totally unfurled and look to be — yup. They’re on fire. Blue fire. Castiel was a lot easier to deal with when Dean couldn’t see behind the scenes.

It takes a lot of composure to not flinch.

He knew he could see the true form of angels, ever since he’d had to gank that one in Missoula. He’d seen them walking around, their Grace flickering between the amorphous will-o-the-wisps and some grand shape both terrifying and beautiful. But he’d never stopped to consider what Castiel’s true form might look like.

“I’m taking you to Cain.” Dean had never noticed how resonant Castiel’s voice was. Maybe it was the fire. “We’ll figure out a way to fix this.”

Dean spreads his hands. “Not broken. Working as intended, in fact.” He shoves his hands in his pockets. Not because they’re shaking, of course not — he just doesn’t know what else to do with them. “We done?”

Even now, he has to blink because it’s difficult to look at. Dimmer than the other forms he’d seen, which only stands to reason, if the Grace he’d stolen is burning out. But it looks…angry. Not anger as a human emotion, but angry like a tsunami or a flash flood, an inexorable pouring of force that Dean has to consciously fight the urge to brace himself against.

“You and I,” Castiel says, and the flames are white, now, and nearly painful to look at, “are never done.

I’ve dragged you out of Hell before. You didn’t want to go then, either. Do you remember?”

He wishes he had some gum to snap. He settles for throwing back what is left of his whiskey before looking straight into Castiel’s eyes. “Cas. Long time no see.”

“Yeah, I remember,” Dean retorts. “Maybe it’s because I belong there. Because this is what I’ve always supposed to become. You ever think of that?”

“I can fix this,” Castiel insists, taking a step forward.

“And if I can’t…I have to end it. I have to.”

Could tsunamis boil? Fuck, how did Castiel have three pairs of wings? He’d only ever had the one in silhouettes. This wasn’t fair. Dean suppresses the shiver that resonates down his spine as all three pairs half-raise, bristling.

Dean shakes his head and turns on his heel. “Maybe stick to saving people who want to be saved, Cas. Not just people you want to save.”

“Outside,” is all Castiel says, eyes darting to either side at the other patrons of the bar, who are paying no attention. It’s amazing how they can completely overlook a force of nature about ready to burst at the steadily fraying seams.

He doesn’t turn back around. Castiel can’t angel zap anywhere anymore, and he doesn’t want to see the wings droop as he watches Dean walk away.

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Contents Misha’s Bookclub

10

“Pistachio Sea-Salt Caramel” Ficlet-Destiel

15

“Love is Not Enough”

18

“If Stars Were Mine” ficlet-Destiel

24

“His Perspective”-Sastiel Big Bang Preview

28

S10 Audio Meta

30

San Diego Comic Con 2014

32

Gishwhes 2014

34

Women4Spn

40

Issue 2 Poll Results & New Poll Questions

42

Jensen Joins Twitter

44

DCBB 2014 Spotlight

50

Croatoan Day

55

“Why 2014 Was Always Safe”

62

Cosplay

65

“The Mark of Cain, Curing Dean, and Prometheus”

66

“I Never Lied Dean, It’s Important, It’s Fundamental”

68

“The Most Important Object in the Entire Universe…”

71

“It’s Going to Burn You Out”

74

“Why Didn’t You Look for me? Why didn’t You Let Me Go?”

75

“I am Proud of Us”

77

“Don’t Let Me Go”

79

“White Fire” ficlet-Destiel

80

Demon Side Contents Page

81

Demon Cover

W =content warning; gore 80

Angel

7

Features

Happy Bday Misha

Demon

6

Salt & Burn Magazine

81

Issue 3 • Sept 7 2014