06 Sept 2014 NZFT War Cry

FAITH IN ACTION |  September 214 | Issue 6600 | $1.50

Simon Barnett

CHAPS at CHURCH The

Downside OF

Staunch

LIKE FATHER, LIKE SON?

The Blokes Edition MAN CAVE MAINTENANCE

SALVATION ARMY OFFERS LOW-INCOME LOANS

FREEDOM IN A TEACUP

BOOK GIVEAWAY

A WORD TO YOUNG GUYS ON FEAR

0 WarCry 06 September 2014

Kia ora One for the blokes WAR CRY

The Salvation Army Te Ope Whakaora New Zealand, Fiji & Tonga Territory FOUNDER William Booth GENERAL André Cox TERRITORIAL COMMANDER Robert Donaldson The Salvation Army’s message is based on the Bible. Our ministry is motivated by love for God. Our mission is to preach the gospel of Jesus Christ and meet human need in his name without discrimination.

War Cry exists to support and advance The Salvation Army’s message, ministry and mission.

EDITOR

Major Christina Tyson GRAPHIC DESIGN

Lauren Millington, Amber Wilkinson STAFF WRITERS

Ingrid Barratt, Robin Raymond, Vanessa Singh CONTRIBUTORS

Kris Singh (music reviewer), Alisha Tyson (movie reviewer)

PROOF READING

Major Jill Gainsford OFFICE Territorial Headquarters, 204 Cuba Street, PO Box 6015, Marion Square, Wellington 6141 Phone (04) 4 564 Fax (04) 2 016 Email warcry@nzf.salvationarmy.org SUBSCRIPTIONS Salvationist Resources Department Phone (04) 2 040 Email mailorder@nzf.salvationarmy.org $5 per year within NZ PRINT MANAGEMENT MakeReady | www.makeready.co.nz

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All Bible references from the Holy Bible, New International Version, unless otherwise stated.

Articles are copyrighted to The Salvation Army, except where indicated, and may be reprinted only with permission.

Publishing for  years

ISSN 004-0242, Issue 6600

For this year’s Father’s Day, we wanted to give our readers an unashamedly male edition of War Cry. And with this in mind, we’ve secured the writing services of more than our usual number of male writers.

So, right up front, I want to thank all those who’ve helped: Simon Barnett for letting us into his life a little (and for letting us share those amazing through-the-year haircuts); Alistair Kendrew, who reflects on the challenges and rewards of fatherhood; Che Cormack, who’s contributing a brief series over the next two months on emotional health; Karl Foreman, for giving us his very wise take on tender-hearted men; Daryl Carpenter and Martin Barratt, who present their perspectives on the Sunday church worship experience (both naturally turn to sporting analogies, no great surprise there); Ralph Hargest, who shares some home truths to encourage young men to face their fears; and 19-year-old Nathan Herbert, who tackles the important topic of sexual purity.

It’s also a pleasure to welcome a new permanent writer and ‘roving reporter’ to our magazine. Robin Raymond (who authored the article on the facing page) is a journalist who’s previously worked on papers in Christchurch and Marlborough.

Having grown up as the son of missionaries in central Africa, Robin has always felt that God was calling him to use his journalism skills to help the poor and marginalised. We’re excited to have him join our team and look forward to bringing you plenty of his stories in the future.

And last, but by no means least, it’s great to introduce our new Chief Secretary and new Territorial Secretary for Women’s Ministries, Colonels Willis and Barbara Howell, who have just arrived in New Zealand on assignment from Charlotte, North Carolina. (You can learn a little more about them on page 18.)

We’re really looking forward to getting to know them and promise to be especially helpful with their Māori pronunciation as they settle in. (Although, now that I think of it, Americans struggle a little with even the good-old Kiwi greeting of ‘gidday’, don’t they?) It’s a blessing to celebrate the richness that is our international Army, which gives us the opportunity to both learn from and share with those whom God—in his often perfect timing—brings to our shores.

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Christina Tyson Editor

BIBLE VERSE Proverbs 2:1 Revised Standard Version

‘Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.’

Nga Whakatauki 2:1

‘Ko te rino hei whakakoi mō te rino; waihoki ko te tangata anō hei whakakoi i te mata o tōna hoa.’

1

Please pass on or recycle this magazine

WISE WORDS salvationarmyNZFijiTonga @salvationarmynz salvationarmynzft

salvationarmy.org.nz

God did not create you to be alone. He deposited skills, knowledge and talents in someone out there who is expected to mentor you, teach you and encourage you to go high. Go, get a mentor!

Israelmore Ayivor

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Let’s Talk | 03

I

have a confession to make. I am terrible at DIY. You know the Mitre 10 advert talking about the DIY guy versus the guy who pays someone to do it for him? I’m the guy that pays—or rather, I’m the guy that tries to do it himself, makes a massive mess and then asks his mates to help.

According to the popular view of New Zealand men, one of the key things you must have to be a good Kiwi man is the ‘number eight wire’ mentality, including being good at DIY. It’s almost as essential to being a good bloke as liking rugby. Or, going back to an old Mitre 10 advert, DIY is supposedly part of the Kiwi DNA. In a very roundabout way, all this got me thinking about Father’s Day. Because, for me, the lack of these practical skills is part of my DNA, something I have inherited from my dad.

The older I get, the more people say to me that I do things like my father, and the more I notice how much I’m behaving like him. I use his gestures, use his phrases, have his love of extremely strong black coffee, get annoyed by the same things and read the same books. I even told one of my nephews a dad joke the other day. (Note to self: NEVER do that again!)

It’s one of those inevitable things in life that we all end up like our parents in so many ways. According to a poll last year by the website netmums.com, most people think they turn into their parents at 32. (Are you working out if that happened for you? Everyone else is.)

The assessment of how we’re like our parents seems to start pretty young

though. Among my friends, people seem to start debating whether little Johnny looks more like his mum or his dad the moment the first pictures hit Facebook.

Although some people don’t like it, I tend to take it as a compliment when people compare me to my dad and say I’m like him. Sometimes I even try to behave like Dad, because I like his values, especially the way cares about people and wants to get to know them regardless of who they are.

Of course, nobody is perfect—and there are ways you really don’t want to be like your father or ways you really don’t want your partner, friend or sibling to be like their father. Some people just make bad fathers.

I have two friends who’ve just become dads in the past year and another who’s going to be a dad in a few months.

Talking to all three about being a parent they’re all desperate to be good role models and scared of stuffing it up.

From a Christian perspective, the Bible talks a lot about God as being the perfect father and talks about his values as being values that men (and women) should aspire to—to be good blokes (and good women). Fortunately for me, those values—like love, mercy, forgiveness, justice and responsibility—go a lot deeper than DIY skills.

They’re also ones that I think everyone, Christian or non-Christian, can accept as being good values. I figure Father’s Day is as good a day as any to ask myself how much am I like that father and do people see those values in me? ROBIN RAYMOND

04 WarCry 06 September 2014

Bookshelf Cooking Fast: Good Home Cooking Michael Van de Elzen New Zealand’s ‘aproned healthy food crusader’ is back with his fourth cookbook, packed with delicious and quick-to-prepare dishes. Since becoming a father, Michael has become more aware of the food Kiwis are consuming, and for the past five years he’s made it his mission to get more of us to eat wholesome, fresh, healthy and tasty food instead of highly-processed purchased foods. It concerns him that junk food is no longer a treat, but a regular part of school lunches, dinners and even breakfasts. Over 80 recipes—everything from food for babies to BBQs, Italian and Indian dishes, roasts and brunches.

(Random House)

Playlist

Autobiography God’s Double Agent Bob Fu The moving account of Bob Fu’s escape from China and his work on behalf of other human rights workers there. By day, Bob was a teacher in a communist school, but by night he was a preacher in an underground house church network. This tells the riveting story of Bob’s conversion to Christianity, his arrest and imprisonment, his harrowing escape and subsequent work in the US as an advocate for those who are still oppressed.

Readers will be challenged to boldly live out their faith in a world that can be indifferent or even murderously hostile to those who spread the good news of Jesus Christ. (Baker Books)

Festschrift Tsunami of the Spirit Joe Noland & Stephen Court (eds) ‘Festschrift’ is a term describing a book honouring a respected person that is presented during their lifetime. Essentially, it’s a celebration of a person’s life, with contributions written by close colleagues. This festschrift honours General Paul Rader and Commissioner Kay Rader on the occasion of the retired general’s 80th birthday. Shortly after his election to general in 1994, Paul Rader called for a ‘tsunami of the Spirit, cleansing, refreshing and renewing [The Salvation Army] for mission’. A wide range of writers, including New Zealanders Bronwyn and Lyndon Buckingham, contribute. (Crest Books)

Reel News

Brass Heritage Series Vol. 6: Music From the 1980s The International Staff Band As part of their Heritage Series, the International Staff Band has released its 6th volume, which covers prolific composers and pieces from the 1980s. Included in this collection are works from William Himes, James Curnow, Robert Redhead and Peter Graham, and each piece is presented at its very best through the high playing standard of the International Staff Band. Opening with the festival march ‘Motivation’, the twodisc collection spans multiple genres, including marches, hymn arrangements and tone poems.

‘The Great Salvation War’ and the major work ‘At the Edge of Time’ are highlights, but there’s plenty for eager brass fans here.

Pop/Alternative The Golden Echo Kimbra The Golden Echo follows up New Zealand songstress Kimbra’s massively successful debut album Vows. Echo branches out significantly in its use of musical influences; Kimbra has fused multiple genres with creativity and nuance, and as a result has produced an exceptionally diverse and enjoyable record. Aside from her silky smooth vocal delivery, Kimbra opens the door for multiple collaborators, each bringing their own flair and style. From the massive bass in ‘Nobody But You’, to the sonic chaos in ‘Sugar Lies’, each element slots well into Kimbra’s neo soul/electro R&B sound, taking tracks into creatively unexpected and organic places.

A great follow-up album!

GIVEAWAY To win a copy of God’s Double Agent, tell us what inspires you to be bold in life.

War Cry Giveaway, PO Box 6015, Marion Square, Wgtn 6141 or email warcry@nzf.salvationarmy.org. Entries close 22 Sept.

Your Life: Train for It winner is: J. Wilson

Comedy/Drama Begin Again John Carney / M (offensive language) What has always appealed the most to me in music, no matter the genre, is authenticity. Authenticity demands a certain kind of vulnerability, and is a focus of Irish director John Carney’s films, which is why they will always hold a special place in my heart and library. Begin Again is no exception.

Once was Carney’s first big hit—a low-budget film with virtually unknown musicians and actors. It was simple enough for the characters to explore what was on their hearts in their music. They made music for the simple pleasure of it. This time around, the actors are extremely well known. Begin Again stars Mark Ruffalo (formerly The Hulk) and Keira Knightley (formerly a pirate and Mr Darcy’s wife). The film is set in Manhattan where the two stars are disillusioned by the shallow state of the music industry.

The pair meet in a dingy bar at the end of terrible days. Ruffalo’s character is an alcoholic who just lost his job at the record label he founded.

Knightley has just left her boyfriend and creative partner who changed drastically over the course of his rising fame. Knightley shyly starts to sing an original song and Ruffalo is enchanted. We get a beautiful glimpse of the potential he hears as invisible musicians pick up the instruments surrounding Knightley and play with her—and the song soars. The characters arcs are at times simplistic, but that only makes them all the more relatable and likable.

We particularly feel with Ruffalo’s character as he tries to overcome his addiction and restore the trust he’s lost with his daughter and wife.

Begin Again is about the paths we choose, and definitely leans toward being brave enough to be vulnerable. Go on, watch it, you won’t regret it.

Go to

salvationarmy.org.nz/saresources

Sensitive New Age

BLOKE

Simon Barnett is every bit the carey-sharey guy that listeners love to laugh with on his popular nationwide radio show. But Simon insists that he is a real bloke too. He chats to Ingrid Barratt about being a man, a dad, and a follower of ‘the ultimate sensitive new age guy’—Jesus.

06 | WarCry 06 September 2014

t

he day I speak to Simon Barnett—currently world famous in New Zealand as the ‘new man’ to Gary McCormick’s ‘Kiwi bloke’ on More FM’s breakfast show—he has been on air talking about popstar Katy Perry’s latest headline.

In an interview, Katy has said she doesn’t need a man to have a baby, and Si challenged that statement as the ‘ultimate of selfishness’.

He wasn’t surprised by the many texts he received disagreeing with him.

‘I do feel a responsibility to be a good ambassador for Christ, but we can’t just remove ourselves from society,’ says Simon. ‘It is a tough walk because I’m not a liberal Christian. But I’m also aware that the only difference between Christians and non-Christians is that we know the Father’s love and they don’t. His love for them is equal to his love for us.’

Simon adds that he ‘probably frequently fails as an ambassador for Christ—and please put that in’, but every morning at 5:30 am he prays with wife Jodi that he will represent Christ well on air.

Walking in the doors Simon (or Si) grew up with his mum, after his parents separated, along with his three older sisters and a brother. Although they went to church, Si says he ‘knew about God, but didn’t know God’. It wasn’t until he was 30, and already a national media personality, that Simon truly got to know God for himself.

‘When I got to 30, I had everything the world might see as success—I had a nice home, a nice car, I was married with lovely children. But inside me there was this lack of fulfilment and this emptiness. And I actually remember thinking, “Well, do I get a bigger house? Do I just accumulate stuff and then die?” ’ He told Jodi that he was thinking of going to church, and to his surprise, she had been thinking the same thing—even though neither of them had spoken of their beliefs.

‘The moment I walked in the doors at church, I just burst into tears and had this lovely sense of peace and this feeling that everything was right with the world. So I set upon this journey, and quickly came to the conclusion that Jesus was real.’

Now 47, Simon’s relationship with God has taken him to a deeper understanding of grace. ‘Anything I do in life, I want to be the best I can be at it, and when I became a Christian I wanted to be the best Christian I could be. I started becoming very pious on air.’ But he says that if he had continued that way, he ‘would have chucked it in by now’.

‘So many Christians seem tired and worn out, because we haven’t understood that we’re not only saved by grace, we’re kept by grace —it’s all grace. I had to get to a place where I literally could not keep trying to be perfect and do everything by my own strength.’

This has transformed the way Si sees those he comes across every day. ‘We, as Christians, can be very judgemental about all sorts of things which make us seem less than loving. Whether it be the gay community, the divorced, the single parent, pregnant teens. The point is that Jesus said there is none righteous, not one! None of us are good enough to get into heaven without Jesus—without God’s unfathomable kindness and goodness.’

The ‘new man’ In person, Si is every bit the open, authentic ‘new man’ that comes through our airwaves, with the self-depreciating humour that has made his show with Gary so popular. A More FM ad quips, ‘One is a sensitive new age guy. And the other one’s Gary.’

‘I think I probably am a sensitive new age guy,’ says Si—who is regularly ribbed on air for his ‘frosted tips’ and personal grooming.

I had to get to a place where I literally could not keep trying to be perfect and do everything by my own strength.

‘But I would say Jesus was the ultimate sensitive new age guy—he afforded huge respect to women, and I take my lead from that. We should honour women, love them and care for them.’

Although Simon adds that he ‘can be a bloke as much as any bloke’. ‘I love hanging out with the guys. To me, the ultimate male is someone who is comfortable with his masculinity, and he doesn’t have to show it off.

‘A man to me can be vulnerable, and a man can be humble, and a man can be faithful, and a man can love God with all his heart, all his soul and all his mind. A man can be an absolute inspiration to his children, and a man can spurn the things of the world for the greater good.’

Raising girls Si could hardly help but be in touch with his feminine side, as father to four girls aged 14 to 21. ‘Communication is the key with girls, it’s just taking time—but I think that’s true whether they’re boys or girls.

‘One time, I was watching a rugby match and one of my daughters came in, and I could just tell she was worried about something. It was a really exciting game, but I felt the Holy Spirit say, “You’ve got to take the time.” So I said to her, “Look, you will always be more important to me than anything else.” So we had a chat for an hour over a big issue in her life. Sometimes we have to stop the world for them.’

Being a dad is Simon’s abiding passion—his conversation is peppered with stories of his girls and ‘mottos’ that have been part of family life: ‘Love is spelt T.I.M.E,’ says Si, and ‘on matters of taste, swim with the current; on matters of principle, stand like a rock’.

‘We try to talk to the girls about principles. We often play the “what if” game: what if you’re at a party and you’re feeling pressure to drink, what do you do? That prepares them for life.’

Highs and lows So, to use a favourite childhood game, what are Simon’s ‘highs and lows’ as a parent?

‘Well, a high would be when one of my daughters was nine and was struggling to get to sleep. I told her how much I loved her and paraphrased this verse, “Don’t worry about anything, but in all things pray, with thanksgiving, and the peace of God will come upon you.” I felt that anxiety just lift from her. I went past her room five minutes later and heard her praying that verse. Then, five minutes later, she was fast asleep.’

A low came more recently, when Si’s oldest daughter left home to go to university. ‘I find it so hard not all being together, I miss her so much. ‘When Sam left home to go to Otago Uni, I said, “Let’s not make it any harder for Sam than it needs to be, so just give her a quick hug and let her go.” Then it was my turn, and I gave her a hug and burst into tears, and I couldn’t let her go. It was embarrassing.’

Si also talks openly about common feelings of guilt after losing his temper with the kids. ‘I hate that feeling when you lose your temper.

The old me would be, “I’m a bad Christian”, and then I got given a verse, “We are the righteousness of God in Christ” (2 Corinthians 5:21). So I keep reminding myself that even when I muck up, I am still the “righteousness of God in Christ”. And that gives me the ability to say sorry to the kids.’

The close family bond Si and Jodi have created with their children

Feature | 07

is evident throughout our conversation, as Si often references his girls’ views on everything from pink hair to sex. ‘I’ve been talking to my daughters about sex, and it feels like a risk to say this, but I so believe in God’s grace that I say, “If you sleep with a guy you would be forgiven, and God will forgive you all your sins, but the problem is that there are consequences—and that’s why God says don’t have sex before marriage.” ’ It is an insight into the deeper, more thoughtful Si who has been rocking his frosted hair and bright smile on telly since the ’80s.

Come Monday, he will be up again at 5 am, and on-air laughing and chatting about everything from politics to Kim Kardashian, God love her. ‘In broadcasting, I am very much in the world, but I’m also aware that’s it’s not my home,’ reflects Si. ‘I just hope people feel that they can trust me, that I have integrity and that I care about them. That’s what’s important to me.’

A man to me can be vulnerable, and a man can be humble, and a man can be faithful, and a man can love God with all his heart, all his soul and all his mind.

Creating Memories Si and Jodi have long been advocates of Ian and Mary Grant’s parenting programme, Parents Inc, which talks about the importance of creating memories with your family. Here are some of Si’s favourite memory-making moments: Surprise night: ‘Once every couple of months, we would burst into their room and say “Surprise night!” and take them down to the dairy in their pjs, and they could buy one thing they wanted. The kids loved it—every night they would say, “Is tonight surprise night?” ’ Coin drive: ‘We would drive for half an hour, and toss a coin at every turn—heads was left, and tails was right. We would say that wherever we end up, we are going to knock on their door and have dinner. The tension in the car was palpable. We always jacked it up so we ended up at McDonalds or something, but they never worked it out.’

15 minutes: ‘Every night we have “15 minutes” where we spend that time with each of them when they go to bed, hearing about their days. My youngest still says to me, “Are we having 15 minutes tonight, Dad?” ’

Fast Five Questions Going forward, is it ‘frosted tips’ or ‘dark and mysterious’ hair for you? Probably grey and distinguished, kind of George Clooney meets Richard Gere … ha, ha, in my dreams!

Best What Now moment (for those of us old enough to remember)? When we used to dress up and do skits, Cath McPherson (my co-host) and I were dressed up as elephants. Cath sat on a chair, and the chair broke and her huge elephant head got wedged in between the arm rest, I could not stop laughing for minutes—it was a magical moment!

What’s the inside scoop on what Gary McCormick is really like? Gary is a bright, articulate, kind, compassionate, funny, charming, supremely talented ... derelict!

Favourite movie you’ve seen lately? The Intouchables (not to be confused with The Untouchables!) The Intouchables is a Frenchsubtitled beautiful movie about one man’s kindness to another.

Based on a true story, it is so brilliant and funny and moving, you will love it.

Favourite celebrity you’ve met? Joan Collins from Dynasty fame.

She was so so sooooo Hollywood, it was extraordinary. I really thought all that over-the-top Hollywood starlet, prima donna stuff was fake … turns out I was wrong!

Hair Over the Years

0 | WarCry 06 September 2014

HEALTH

BUDGET

Men Getting Crafty

Man Cave Maintenance

What surprising pastime do Brad Pitt, Russell Crowe and Franklin D. Roosevelt have in common? They all knit. Yep, it’s time to come out of the craft closet, bros, and reclaim your rows!

If a woman’s home is her castle, then a man’s castle is his garage. Enter the man cave.

Having your own space, decorated by you, is important for your mental health, says Sam Gosling, psychology professor and author of Snoop: What Your Stuff Says About You. ‘Space is very important for regulating emotions,’ says Gosling, ‘It’s incredibly important to be in one’s own space and resonate with who one is.’

That’s right, Russell Crowe—that guy famous for punching other guys—is apparently a knitter, according to the source of all wisdom, Wiki Answers.

What is little known about the grandma-dominated multi-million dollar knitting industry, is that men invented knitting and were the master knitters.

The story goes—and this is a very loose translation—that the first form of knitting was the invention of the fishing net in the Middle East, somewhere around 200 AD. Sailors were the first knitters. The loopty-loops were then adapted into clothing, and by the Middle Ages knitting had ‘spread like the plague’, according to Carolyn Bucior, in The Real History of Men Who Knit.

According to Gosling, women are usually in charge of decorating the home, which means she is better able to regulate her emotions within the main living spaces. ‘This can leave us guys feeling isolated, even if it’s on a subconscious level,’ he says. ‘I don’t think people are thinking, “I need to regulate my emotions”. They’re thinking, “I need somewhere to build my boat. While I’m there, I’m going to read the magazines I like. Listen to the music I like.” So it organically evolves.’

Knitting came to Europe, and with it, Knitting Guilds to protect the industry.

Teenage boys became knitting apprentices and had to knit tricky stuff to pass their exams. Some of the earliest knitting artifacts are intricate, delicate designs that modern knitters would struggle to replicate.

The internet is full of mega-masculine man cave ideas, but the point is to have a space created by you. The bad news is that you don’t need a pimped out basement with a 50-inch TV, but the good news is that you do need to have a space for your stuff. It’s somewhere you can create historical war dioramas or put up the sports memorabilia that has been banished from the lounge. Or to display your knitting wares.

The male domination of knitting only started to diminish with the invention of the knitting machine in the 1600s. ‘Men ruled knitting for centuries, got side-tracked, and are now finding their way back to the knitting needles,’ says Bucior. ‘They find it meditative, restorative, creative, or an avenue to connect to others.’

The man cave is often mistaken for an excuse to zone out from the family. But according to Andy and Kathy Chen, who were featured in the US DIY Network series Man Caves, Andy’s mancave has helped him spend more dedicated time with his family: ‘Coming home in the past was kind of crazy, with our two kids and two dogs pulling for my attention,’ Andy says. ‘I don’t need a lot of time there, but I need the isolation and time to recharge by myself.’

Check out menwhoknit.com—it’s something of a ‘support forum’ for blokes (complete with manly beards and beanies) who want to knit. You’ll find guys sharing knitting patterns on things like hats and socks in sports colours. Not a tea cosy in sight.

One male knitter comments that knitting has taught him patience: ‘If more men knitted through history, there’d have been a lot less war!’

Another knitter dude said, ‘For me, [knitting] was something I picked up because I spend a lot of time watching TV … I do a lot of things for charity, like hats and scarves.’

And Kathy adds: ‘Because Andy has more time and space to himself, he actually helps out more. He never used to do the dishes, and he has now started to do them.’

When it comes to attracting female attention, knitting far surpasses both the adorable baby and the cute fluffy puppy. David Demchuk (Knit Like a Man)

Yoghurt Flatbread A delicious accompaniment for curries from Michael Van de Elzen’s latest cookbook | Makes  500g plain flour 1 tsp salt 1 tsp sugar ½ tsp dried yeast 100ml milk 150ml natural unsweetened yogurt, plus 2 Tbsp to brush over flatbread 60g margarine, melted

Mix first four ingredients in a large bowl. Heat milk until lukewarm, then whisk in yogurt. Add melted margarine and mix well. Slowly pour wet ingredients into flour mixture, and mix. Knead until mixture becomes a stringy dough. Cover bowl with damp, clean tea towel and leave in a warm place to rise for 15 mins.

Divide dough evenly into 12 balls, cover and set aside for another 15 mins. Now turn grill onto a medium heat and place a large baking tray underneath to heat up.

Flatten dough balls and form into large teardrop shapes. Brush with extra yoghurt, place on hot baking tray and grill for 2–3 mins each side until golden. Watch carefully as naan breads can burn quickly.

From Fast: Good Home Cooking by Michael Van de Elzen (Random House)

Lifestyle | 09

Q&A Do you know these words-icle?

Here’s a true story from the world of mum/dad texts: Mum text: Aunty Linda has passed away, lol. Daughter’s reply: Mum, do you know what lol means? It means ‘laugh out loud’. Mum’s reply: Oh no, I thought it meant ‘lots of love’, I’ve sent that text to everyone!

Don’t let this textual disaster happen to you. Here’s a listicle of the latest words added to the Oxford Dictionary’s online catalogue this year. The best thing about this is that you can totes embarrass your teens by being amazeballs at their lingo—YOLO, right?!  Humblebrag: A boast dressed up in self-depreciating language.

This is the fodder of Facebook posts, as in: ‘It’s so annoying, women keep telling me I get better looking with age.’ You poor thing, you.  Catfish: This first came into popular idiom after a documentary entitled Catfish, in which a man was drawn into a relationship on Facebook, only to discover the woman was working under a false identity. Named after the bottom-dwelling fish, when someone is deceived in an online relationship they have been ‘catfished’.  Mansplain: A man explaining something to a woman, usually in a condescending manner. ‘He mansplained to me that second hand cars are worth less than new cars. Thanks.’  YOLO: Short for ‘you only live once’. This can turn any serious conversation into a joke. ‘Mum and dad, I failed my exam, but YOLO right? Lol?’  Listicle: A peculiarly online form of article, which is presented in the form of a list—it is often used as clickbait (a sensationalist headline to get people onto your website). Eg, ‘20 celebs who haven’t aged well.’  Amazeballs: Extremely good or impressive; amazing: ‘The movie was crud, but the effects were amazeballs.’ Kinda like ‘awesome’—anything only slightly-better-than-mediocre can be amazeballs.  SMH: Short for ‘shaking my head’, as in: ‘What happened to current affairs in this country?

SMH.’ It can also mean, ‘so much hate’, as in, ‘Hey, politicians are just doing their job, SMH.’

Testify!

Aaron Williams is excited to discover fresh ways to reach out into the community.

It’s like William Booth said, ‘We want to be reaching the worst souls.’ That’s Aaron Williams’s motto when it comes to young people in the Kelvin Grove area of Palmerston North.

Aaron grew up in The Salvation Army—his grandparents on both sides were heavily involved in the church. That gave him a good grounding in life, but things are tougher for a lot of children in the Kelvin Grove area where he grew up, and now he wants to give back.

‘You only have to drive round here at night and you can see young kids, nine and 10-year-olds, out walking round in the middle of the night, they’re in little gangs really.’

At school, Aaron said he got a taste of what it was like for some young people struggling with school. ‘I have been in that situation where the normal box of education doesn’t fit and you get shunted to the side.’

That motivated him to give back, and he and wife Elisha-Jane Williams have been helping where they can. Elisha-Jane has tutored failing students, and Aaron, a trained chef and barista, mentored a young man training to be a chef.

‘He had no confidence and told me he was a bit of a hermit. He came for confidence and life skills and managed to get a job out of it.’

Aaron’s love for troubled youth was summed up in a comment made to him by a fellow Salvation Army youth worker. ‘He

said to me the difference between church youth and street youth is that church youth can be quite superficial. Street youth have something deeper because they have to have each other’s back. I thought this is an amazing thing our kids can learn from.’

Four years ago, the couple moved to a church in Feilding, working as youth workers before moving back to Kelvin Grove this year. Elisha-Jane has been tutoring a group of children who were failing at school, helping raise their marks to excellence.

The couple, with the support of new Kelvin Grove corps officers, Lieutenants Nathan and Jessica Bezzant, also set up The Lounge café in the Kelvin Grove Corps, providing food, drink and a new way to connect with the community.

The café has helped raise the corps’ profile in the community,

and encourage new people to come in.

‘We had an older Asian who came in the other day and said, “My family are kicking me out of home,” and we were able to point him in the right direction to get help. We’re getting more of that now, there’s so much life going on and people coming in for help, which is really exciting to be a part of.’

This will also help fund the Williams’s dream of a youth drop-in centre. They have spoken to CYFS and reached out to schools and they are hoping to launch the drop-in centre at the corps this month.

‘The goal is to break the cycle for kids who have no goal or no hope in life. We want to show them that just because family life isn’t great or you don’t have the support you need, you can be who God wants you to be.’

The goal is to break the cycle for kids who have no goal or not hope.

Let’s Talk I would like: to explore what it means to follow Jesus information about Salvation Army worship and activities prayer for the following needs:

NAME: ADDRESS:

Please post to: War Cry, PO Box 6015, Marion Square, Wgtn 6141 or email: warcry@nzf.salvationarmy.org

10 | WarCry 06 September 2014

Getting Emotional

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Che Cormack of The Salvation Army in Napier spent time in prison for drug dealing, where he learnt that his drug abuse was driven by his inability to process difficult emotions.

Che shares ideas about building a healthy emotional life.

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Hire Brass component Overhead surface Enigma Coil Base Laid bare Displeasing Profitable An era of big hair Crack Authority Affluent ‘I had no !’

Let’s get quizzical …

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In which country is the source of the Amazon River?

What is the chemical symbol for Gold?

What is a blunderbuss?

What sea lies between Australia and New Zealand?

Which two people walked on water in the middle of a storm?

Are you struggling with alcohol, other drugs or gambling? … Or do you know someone who is?

Get tools to change your life: a personal recovery plan tools to identify your triggers skills to deal with trigger situations community and/or residential options available

    or salvationarmy.org.nz/addictions

‘Whoa, don’t get so emotional!’

‘Emotional’ is so often used as a derogatory description when applied to men by other men. Yet one of the men I most look up to in life is very emotional, and I envy him.

When something great happens, this guy gets excited. He yips and yells, laughs and pumps his fist. But I believe my friend couldn’t celebrate and feel happy, if he didn’t also know how to feel sad and express his sadness.

We New Zealanders—males especially—are typically very laid back and muted in our expression of emotion. Those of us who do show emotion are often made fun of, so we slowly train ourselves out of ‘feeling’.

Similarly, when children feel anger, they act out aggressively and are scolded. This can lead them to attach feelings of shame to their anger, instead of to the inappropriate action they chose to respond with. For instance, they’re told, ‘Don’t be angry with your sister’, instead of ‘When you’re angry, don’t hit your sister’, or ‘When you’re angry … come and talk to Daddy about it.’ Christianity can add another layer of guilt when people quote Matthew 5:22, ‘But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment.’ We forget that Jesus often felt and expressed anger toward others, but in a healthy way. Jesus is our model and we are to follow his example, not just snippets of Scripture.

Many men reach maturity having supressed their emotions and are barely able to register emotions except at the highest intensity. Sadness and anger seem

to be the only emotions strong enough to trigger a response, one that is often unproductive, negative and hurtful to others.

We are also prone to soothe these high intensity emotions with drugs, alcohol, food, TV and anything else able to take us out of the moment. Many of us are left either expressing emotions in hurtful ways, or hurting ourselves to escape our emotions. We need to learn how to be emotionally healthy, if not for ourselves, then to model a healthier emotional life to our children.

We are always experiencing emotions. They are linked to our thought processes. There are no good or bad emotions; only emotions we are comfortable with, and those we are uncomfortable with and find difficult to manage. In fact, all emotions are good, because God created them within us. But registering and expressing our emotions are skills we may need to practice.

Notice that I said register and express. It’s a two-step process.

First: notice, recognise, name and link an emotion to a thought or situation. Secondly: choose a positive, healthy and godly way to express or act on that emotion.

Two very difficult steps when you’ve had little practice, so let’s start your training now …

Try this exercise at least once each day: start a sentence with ‘I feel …’ and fill in the blank. You’ll find it hard, you’ll often mislabel your emotions, but trying is the best first step.

Next time: more practical ideas to build a healthy emotional life.

Close Up | 11

The Downside of Staunch When I left school, I entered the ‘hard man’ culture of the forestry and freezing works industry. All my life I wondered: What does it mean to be a man? But God took my heart of stone and gave me back a heart of flesh. He taught me how to be a real man.

BY KARL FOREMAN In the culture I worked in, being a man was about being tough.

Emotions were considered a weakness and you had to ‘harden up’.

I was taught that a man works hard and plays hard. He hunts, drinks and fights, but is tough enough to still turn up for work the next day.

I didn’t know what it would take to feel like a man. Did I become a man when I got my driver’s licence, shot my first deer, did a yard glass at 21, got a job? After a while, I lost my confidence. I would stutter and was often nervous unless I was under the influence of drugs or alcohol.

When I got married and had children, I didn’t know how to connect with them and be sensitive to their needs. I got to the stage where, materially, I had everything—a good job where I worked hard, a lifestyle block with plenty of good sheds (even my own killing shed!)—but I had nothing in the way of love, peace or joy in my heart. That’s when I met my life coach, a Salvation Army corps officer (pastor) who became my mentor. He shared his struggles and vulnerability with me, and God used him to transform my heart.

I worked in the logging industry and competed in wood chopping competitions. I have a whole box of axes in my shed, and I think a man’s heart is like an axe. We don’t know how to nurture our heart, so we become like the axe that’s been left outside: neglected and rusty. God took the rusty axe of my heart and restored it back to its original purpose.

I had quite a bizarre experience of identifying with the woman in the Bible who encountered Jesus just as she was about to be stoned for adultery (see John 8). I had so much shame, but I felt Jesus saying to me, ‘Neither do I condemn you’. When I experienced that forgiveness and grace, it brought joy into my heart. It gave me an identity, knowing my position as a son, loved by God my father—I experienced love, grace and compassion. And it changed my heart.

Ezekiel 36:26 says, ‘I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.’ God took my heart of hardness and taught me how to make it soft and sensitive, so that I could have a healthy relationship with God, my family and others.

One of the big things for us guys is that we don’t know how to deal with offense or hurt properly. We become like an axe that has been ‘gapped’—it gets chipped, and when it cuts it drags the wood, leaving a rippled effect. It still cuts, but it has a handicap,

a hindrance. My heart was gapped, and the ripple effect of that impacted all the relationships around me. God had to heal the gap in my heart, teaching me to extend forgiveness to others and to keep short accounts of my own wrongdoings.

It is still an ongoing thing—that desire to be hard is a habitual way of thinking, so I’m still learning how to have that ‘heart of flesh’ that God created me for. He is still repairing that gapped heart, keeping me sensitive and sharp.

Even within the church culture, men can be like blunt axes. We can look good and shiny, but our hearts are blunt and ineffective. We need to sharpen our axe by being vulnerable and allowing other men to speak truth into our lives. Proverbs 27:17 says, ‘As iron sharpens iron so one person sharpens another.’

God took the rusty axe of my heart and restored it ...

Men like to boast about their strength, but Paul tells us God’s power is made perfect in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). We try to hide our hearts and protect people from knowing our true selves, but once we know who we are in God we don’t have to hide. Now, I boast about my weakness, I share openly with other men about my struggles. I’m the first to cry in church, and I know that I need real relationships and accountability. I need to know my weakness so that God can sharpen me.

In our Kiwi culture, we don’t have a ceremony that says, ‘you have become a man’, so we need to affirm each other as men. We need to tell our young men that they are men, and teach them what that means.

There is one axe in my shed that isn’t in the pile with the others.

It is my racing axe, and it is protected in its own box so it stays in perfect condition. 2 Timothy 2:20 says that we are ‘instruments for special purposes’. Like the racing axe, God has set us aside for a special purpose. We need to keep our heart protected so that we can be sharp and effective in the divine purposes God has created us for.

Lieut Karl Foreman is a corps officer (pastor) with his wife Christine at Upper Hutt Salvation Army

1 | WarCry 06 September 2014

Chaps at Church The Sunday church experience—sitting in pews, singing, praying together, listening to the sermon, and all that—it floats some people’s boats, but not everyone’s. And certainly not all of the time.

Of course, worship is a lot more than an hour or so on Sunday. It’s a whole-of-life, 24/7 thing flowing from a God-facing life of gratitude, love and obedience. But just because we come at Sunday church from different places doesn’t mean there can’t be something meaningful in it for everyone. With this in mind, War Cry asked two males to share contrasting perspectives …

Darryl Carpenter shares one bloke’s view of Sunday church (based on the short prayer ‘Please God, don’t let them make me sing seven songs in one service again’). Darryl attended the church of the great outdoors for most of his formative years and can’t sing to save himself.

I don’t know about you, but Sunday worship doesn’t do it for me.

Fronting up on Sunday morning for an hour or so of six or seven songs, all of which are some variation of ‘closer my God to thee’, is quite a bit like going to the dentist.

But even that is being a bit unfair on the dentist. At least they let me lie down and give me a helpful dose of anaesthetic to deaden the pain. They also give me a choice of DVDs. It’s not that I’m against worship. The songs are okay-ish, the band is usually superb and the lyrics sound. It’s just that the combination of mass arm raising, eyes closed, tears-streaming-down-your-face vocal choreography isn’t my thing. Unless, of course, I’m at a Silver Ferns game, or watching the Warriors, Rob Wardell or the Black Sticks.

Sport is different though. You’re meant to ‘get into the zone’, paint your face, wear your team colours and get enthusiastic with plenty of cheering and shouting. I’ve been known to shout out loud at the TV during a match—when the ref is wrong, the play goes right when it should have gone left, or when Valerie Adams throws another gold-medal winner.

God and I have a similar conversation arrangement: lots of silence interspersed with desperate pleas for forgiveness, injury prevention or achievement (from me to God, not the other way around), and occasionally when I remember, a quick statement of heartfelt thanks. I have been working on this a bit lately—more thanks and less desperate pleading.

When the mind starts to wander So here I am, stuck in church, halfway through worship song three of seven and my mind is already starting to wander. But since the War Cry editor asked me to write this article, I thought I’d track my thoughts and use these as the basis of my article.

We’re up to song four and I wonder what the current update on Gaza is. There is so much pain and suffering there. Two sides, one conflict. The chasm between the two is so much more than the physical gap across the barbed wire border or the enclave fence. The kids will be suffering the most. It is always that way in these sorts of

situations. Maybe a quick prayer will help. Actually, that is all that will work in this situation.

I’m a bit bored, so I glance around the room and smile a hello at one of the guys from home group who glances my way. He well knows my aversion to worship and has perfected his own technique for coping: he just gets right into it. A slight shuffle of the feet, a hand tremble with arms raised and his eyes averted to heaven. His mind will be totally on worshiping God, he oozes complete belief and trust.

I really admire him for that.

I look across the other side of the room and see the youth. They always sit together en masse, and our three kids are amongst them.

It’s nice to see so many of them; the new youth worker is doing a great job. I must catch her after the service and say a quick word of thanks for all she is doing. Having been a youth worker back in the day, I appreciated people doing that for me when I was sometimes in the firing line.

I glance behind me and get the blokes ‘hello’ from one of the guys. You know the hello I mean: eye contact, a smile, and then the subtle head tilt backwards. He and his wife have just started an outreach for petrol heads and those into drag racing, 4x4 driving and motor bikes. Not my thing, but definitely theirs. They decided that rather than try to bring those folk to church, they will take church to them. So they turn up to events, offer their friendship and share God. I reckon God likes that.

Deep in my soul I get an overwhelming sense that God loves me.

Create in me a clean heart Song six—we’re almost finished. I’ve read the War Cry cover to cover and there isn’t much else to do. The worship team has struck up an old tune I know from way back in the day. Keith Green took Psalm 51 and wrote music for ‘Create in me a clean heart, oh God, and renew a right spirit within me.’ I need a bit of that; my heart’s been a bit grubby of late.

The next verse goes on with ‘Cast me not away from thy presence, oh Lord, and take not thy Holy Spirit from me.’ I couldn’t think of anything worse. Imagine not being part of God or there being no God so that we lived our lives with no hope. It must be like that for those living in West Africa, Syria and the Ukraine at the moment—not much hope there.

But we are saved, literally, by the final verse: ‘Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation, and renew a right spirit within me.’ An amazing verse, and somewhere deep down in my soul I get an overwhelming sense that God loves me, that I am doing okay and that he truly cares. Maybe there is something about this worship thing after all?

Song seven is all finished, so that’s church done for the week.

Now, where’s the coffee? I need to catch up with the folk I have been thinking about in the last hour or so. My friends, my community, my church.

Soul Food | 13

Martin Barratt thinks he’s a fairly normal bloke. He enjoys sport, action films, rough and tumble with his son, a good pie … and knows some basic DIY. He also enjoys worshipping in church on a Sunday morning.

Church worship gets a bad rap sometimes as being irrelevant or even a bit girly or wimpy. But that’s not my take. I guess I owe my positive view to my varied church journey. I came to faith at 18 in a big evangelical Anglican church. You know the type: huge candles, hard pews, stand up and sit down, long hymns (O Lord, this one goes on forever!). There was a sense of awe and wonder, and with over 1300 people, there were also quite a few blokes.

I then shifted to the opposite end of the spectrum—a wellknown charismatic youth church. It was very different, vibrant and dynamic. A number of internationally popular male worship leaders come from this church, which, together with the culture of the place, made it easy for guys to really enjoy worshipping in its services.

From here, I moved to a different denomination for the next nine years—a church movement well regarded around the world for exercising the gifts of the Spirit and its passionate worship. It’s also known for its influence on modern worship in the wider church.

Worship as a lifestyle was a big component of my church life here, and again I found safety in a herd of male worshippers.

I look back and realise how blessed I am to have enjoyed such an eclectic mix of church worshipping experiences. I’m also aware that some guys feel embarrassed about engaging with worship or simply don’t enjoy it, but I’ve never felt awkward or weird; I’ve just got in there and really enjoyed worshipping.

Expressing the joy of salvation Years ago, I was at a large youth leaders conference. During one of the evening meetings, I was happily getting into the music—singing away, arms outstretched (I try not to wave them too much as, being tall, I have the wingspan of an albatross) and I may have been tapping my feet too. After the service ended, one of the band members asked if he ‘could have a quiet word’. I was a bit worried, but he said how good it was to see guy really enjoying worship. He told me it was a good example to others and also an encouragement to him as a worship leader.

During the rest of the conference, I took some time to see how other men were responding (or not) to worship times. I noticed a lot were ‘actively disengaged’ (looking terribly bored), some were courteously indifferent, and I wasn’t even sure if a few were still conscious. A mere handful appeared to be enjoying themselves. It really made me think: we guys can get passionate about a number of things—like sport or cars—yet many of us seem indifferent to visibly expressing the joy of our salvation.

Sometimes I struggle to understand this. After all, didn’t David dance before the Lord with all his might (2 Samuel 6:14)? Now, he was a fairly Alpha male! And doesn’t Nehemiah 8:10 say the joy of the Lord is our strength? It’s not wrong for men to demonstrate strength in the

right way, and worship allows us another platform for that.

Maybe it’s because women are less inhibited about showing emotion in public. And it’s true that the very personal nature of certain worship songs can leave us guys feeling rather awkward and, as a result, distant. Maybe churches leave men feeling it’s not ‘the right thing’ to be truly expressive. If so, this is a shame, because if we can’t be honest, open and expressive in church, then where can we be?

Struggling with public worship?

Here are a few questions we can ask ourselves if we’re struggling with the whole public worship thing: • Do we acknowledge the awe and wonder that comes with worship of God? Are we reminded of the smallness of ourselves and the greatness of our God? • Do we make room for worship in our spare time? I like to use car journeys when I’m alone to put on some ‘manly’ Christian music that I can get into. (I’d recommend Need to Breathe, Anberlin and Jeremy Camp for starters.)

• Have we reflected on our prior church or family experience to see how this may have influenced us? What has been modelled to us?

If we have seen men being uninterested or passive in worship, it’s highly likely we will follow suit, thinking that is the norm or even the most ‘appropriate’ way for men to be.

• Perhaps the basic problem is that expressing our love for God is a difficult concept for some guys? (But, hey, we all love Richie McCaw, right?)

Faith is a journey and a challenge, and not all parts are equal. We take more readily to some facets of faith (just watch us guys hit the post-service food tables!), while other parts take time and discipline to become part of our everyday experience. While we would all love to be a rough, tough Christian man like Bear Grylls, unsurprisingly most of us aren’t. And that’s fine; God wants us to come as we are.

So, for all who find public worship toe-curlingly awkward, what can we do to get the deeper connection that corporate worship allows with the body of Christ? Here are a few suggestions: • Strive to set a good example for others in church services.

• Don’t let the circumstances of the service distract you from offering your praise, whether it’s hard seating, a room that’s too cold or too hot, or some off-key music.

• Remind yourself that if King David could dance and be undignified in worship, we can too. (Within reason, of course!)

• Recall the good things that God has done in your life. That God made us, provides for us and, best of all, that he loves us. Now respond to that!

• Come expectant that God will meet you on a Sunday whenever you head to church.

Ultimately, if we believe in God and have seen his work in our life, shouldn’t we honour this? If God is who he is, then how can we not tell of his wonders, how can we not sing his praise? So, why not give that a go this Sunday? You can even reward yourself with an extra biscuit at the after-match function for being so brave!

14 WarCry 06 September 2014

Low-Income Loan Scheme to Build Opportunity and Hope

(l–r) Commissioner Robert Donaldson speaks at the Community Finance launch; photography: www.thephotographer.co.nz On 13 August at Community Ministries South Auckland, The Salvation Army, Bank of New Zealand (BNZ), Good Shepherd NZ and the Ministry of Social Development unveiled details of their one-year Community Finance pilot designed to help people who sit on the margins of the banking system to improve their quality of life and increase their financial independence.

Community Finance will see StepUP loans of between $1000 and $5000 for a maximum of 36 months, made available to those who are on low incomes with the ability to repay. The interest rate for the StepUP loan is set at 6.99%. No Interest Loans (NILS) of up to $1000 for a maximum of 18 months will be available from early September.

The initiative starts with a one-year pilot delivered from The Salvation Army’s South Auckland and Waitakere Community Ministries centres.

The scheme aims to help customers that banks don’t normally lend to, and who are often forced to borrow from loan sharks and pay-day lenders at extortionate rates. As part of the loan process, the four partners also want to support borrowers in managing their finances through budgeting support and financial literacy programmes.

BNZ has committed $10m of capital over five years. The bank’s director of strategy and business performance Michelle van Gaalen says it’s important that all parts of society are financially included

Journeying into the Heart of God The bi-annual Brengle Institute for Officers was held from 4-10 August at Booth College of Mission. Lieut-Colonels Wayne and Myra Pritchett from the Canada and Bermuda Territory were guest speakers, focusing on Holiness: A Journey into the Heart of God. Through expansive teaching on salvation and the process of sanctification, as well as a focus on spiritual disciplines, the Institute provided an opportunity for spiritual reflection away from the usual demands of appointments. The presence of a couple from each of the two Australian territories also added richness.

Brengle started with guests and delegates warmly welcomed by representative cadets by way of a mihi whakatau. This provided a strong foundation for the week ahead. The morning song session at the start of each day had us appreciating again the richness of the Army’s heritage of holiness songs. Each delegate sharing their personal ‘God’s Way with Me’ story often felt like a meeting on holy ground.

Thursday evening’s open lecture was well attended by an appreciative audience, with teaching on The Lord’s Prayer as ‘A Prayer for Your Journey of Holiness’.

Major Heather Rodwell (Territorial Secretary for Spiritual Life Development)

and have access to mainstream credit, including those who have previously been deemed too risky to lend to.

‘We don’t just want to lend. It’s equally important to educate New Zealanders about how to be good with money, of the longterm effects of high-interest loans and the pitfalls of using fringe lenders who target low-income areas. Invariably, people want to pay back what they owe and become self-sufficient—BNZ wants to help empower them to do that.’

The Salvation Army will act as the local ‘face of’ the initiative, responsible for interfacing between loan applicants and BNZ, while Good Shepherd will provide the Community Finance framework drawing on years of experience in the Australian market.

This relationship with borrowers will continue through the life of the loan, with both The Salvation Army and BNZ monitoring repayments and providing ongoing support.

Major Pam Waugh, head of The Salvation Army’s Community Ministries, says, ‘It can be expensive to be poor, especially when you don’t have access to suitable finance and have to rely on alternative services such as payday lenders and mobile loan sharks. By providing credit at affordable rates to this sector of the community, we can focus attention on improving economic opportunity in these areas.

‘Most of us take financial inclusion for granted—we have cheque accounts to pay bills, use debit or credit cards and might even have money in a savings account. But for many, navigating the world of mainstream finance is complicated and costly.’

The Community Finance loans will help borrowers with the purchase of household necessities or higher cost assets that can provide economic freedom and improve their quality of life.

The initiative will draw on the experience of a successful Australian-based community finance scheme run by Good Shepherd and BNZ’s parent National Australia Bank (NAB), which has been running for more than 10 years.

Chair of Good Shepherd New Zealand Trust, Diana Crossan, says Good Shepherd is really excited to be working alongside BNZ, The Salvation Army, and the Government to help improve the lives of many New Zealanders living on low incomes.

‘We know that giving people access to fair, safe and affordable credit not only helps them increase their financial capability, but can also lead to better social and health outcomes. Good Shepherd has led the development of community microfinance and financial inclusion programmes in Australia for over 30 years, so the lessons we can bring to this NZ initiative are invaluable,’ she says.

During the pilot, the four partners intend to undertake research to further understand the dimensions of financial exclusion in New Zealand as well as the efficacy of the pilot.

For more information, go to

salvationarmy.org.nz/loans

Our Community | 15

Tauranga Pre-schoolers Celebrate Tauranga Salvation Army recently celebrated the fifth birthday of its mainly music group. The group runs once a week for pre-schoolers and their families, with most of the families attending from the community.

In honour of reaching this milestone, a party was held at the usual session time, along with a special Sunday celebration on 15 June to bring together past mainly music members, the corps and current mainly music families and team.

A beautiful cake was made by the Tauranga Cake Decorators Guild to mark the occasion. Corps Officers Majors John and Karen Fitness also invited past mainly music children to join them to bake a cake during the Sunday service. While it was cooking, Major John Fitness explained that just as the ingredients in a cake may not be very tasty on their own, so some parts of life may not seem that great, but when allowed to be used by our maker—God—they can be combined to make something good. As Romans 8:28 says, ‘God causes all things to work together for good to those who love Him and are called according to his good purpose.’

Davina Plummer (mainly music coordinator)

TRIBUTE

Catherine Agnes (Nessie) Horne Catherine, known as Nessie from an early age, was born on 8 February 1924 as the second child to Salvation Army officer parents, the late Brigadiers Percy and Catherine Atherfold. She was promoted to Glory on 24 July.

Along with her brothers, Athole and Ray, Nessie lived her early life in Dunedin, Christchurch and Wellington.

As a young woman, she was very involved in Salvation Army activities at Wellington City Corps as a sunbeam leader, primary teacher and songster.

Nessie met McLean (Mac) Horne at the corps and they married and moved to Tawa, Mac’s ‘home patch’, where they lived for many years. The couple had four children, Kathryn, Ian, Lynda and Bruce.

Along with three other couples, Mac and Nessie were farewelled from Wellington City Corps in 1954 and sent out to start a Salvation Army corps in Tawa, a new and growing suburb. The first Salvation Army officer at Tawa lived with the Hornes.

This was indicative of the ‘open home’ Nessie and Mac maintained, where there was regularly someone extra for meals, staying a night or a weekend, or if needed, for a longer period. Over the years, Nessie became ‘mum’ to many.

In addition to the needs of her growing family, Nessie became involved in neighbourhood activities.

Her involvement at Tawa Corps included time as primary leader, singing company leader and as a songster.

Nessie and Mac enjoyed overseas

travelling excursions, including attendance at the 1990 Salvation Army International Congress.

In 1993, Nessie and Mac moved to Kapiti. Following her move to Seven Oaks Retirement Village, Nessie was not able to be as actively involved in the local corps, but her positive outlook, Christian witness and involvement with people extended to friends, other residents, and the staff, such that it was said at her funeral that Nessie became ‘mother to all’ at the Village.

Faith and family, however, were Nessie’s prime motivators, and nothing pleased her more than visits from her children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

Nessie’s core foundation in life was her relationship with Jesus Christ, whom she knew as Lord and Saviour.

She didn’t preach Jesus to people; she showed Jesus to people by the way she lived her life and by her abundant and extravagant love.

Nessie maintained her faith with prayer and the reading of the Scriptures, and she daily brought every member of her ‘family’—all of them—to God in prayer, sharing with him concerns and hopes and joys.

Nessie’s earnest desire for her family was that they would each have a personal relationship with God. She remained a prayer warrior through indifferent health, particularly in her last months.

A large crowd attended Nessie’s funeral, which was conducted by Graham Millar, as this gracious lady was indeed ‘promoted to Glory’.

Ron Daly

(top) Mjr Karen Fitness encourages supervises children in the Sunday morning meeting; (left) a beautiful cake from the Tauranga Cake Decorator’s Guild; photography: Dorothy van den Hoven

16 WarCry 06 September 2014

Youth Grow in Faith at European Youth Event

Vision and action were the dual themes of The Salvation Army’s European Youth Event (EYE), designed to encourage young Salvationists and friends from across the continent to strengthen their Christian faith. Held in Altenkirchen, near Cologne in Germany, the event attracted 600 young people between 15 and 25, with more than 1000 others participating via live webcasts and social media.

Starting with a striking dance presentation, the opening celebration meeting included items from a Swedish gospel choir, a German worship band and a Dutch brass ensemble—with several of the musicians also giving their testimonies of how God has worked in their lives. A creative prayer segment was led by Italian delegates, incorporating powerful verses from Scripture read in a number of European languages. Following words of welcome from General André Cox, Commissioner Silvia Cox (World President of Women’s Ministries) presented the first of the event’s Bible messages. This led many young people to kneel at the mercy seat to listen to God’s voice and react to what he was saying.

The after-hours programme began with a time of fellowship around a campfire. Each of The Salvation Army’s European territories and commands took part, with music, comedy, dance and drama items running late into the night. With many odelegates camping on site, sleep was scarce, but a considerable number of young people attended the re:charge prayer meetings each morning.

Majors Stephen Court and Danielle Strickland (Canada and Bermuda Territory) were guest presenters of the keynote ‘EYE on it’ Bible studies. Highly interactive and dynamic, these sessions focused on the Old Testament character of Nehemiah and the challenges he had encountered—and overcome—in his journey of faith.

Nguyen Kim Nhat Nam was one of the delegates. Originally from Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam, Nam is a 21-year-old studying international business in Lahti, Finland. He says, ‘I discovered The Salvation Army through Salvationists explaining their faith on the streets in Finland. I got to know them and admired what they were doing, though I come from a family and community with no Christian heritage. Last Christmas, I offered to volunteer for The Salvation

Aid for Yunnan Province in China The Salvation Army is providing support in Yunnan Province, China, after a 6.1 magnitude earthquake on 3 August caused widespread devastation—particularly around Ludian County. Upwards of 600 people lost their lives and more than 3000 were injured.

Salvation Army emergency relief personnel reached Ludian and emergency supplies were sent to the worst-affected areas. In addition, The Salvation Army plans to send social workers from Hong Kong to Ludian, setting up counselling teams to help the children who have been affected. Mainland social work undergraduates will be trained to serve at resettlement points.

Salvation Army relief personnel have visited some of the temporary shelters and found that many children are suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder. To help children return to normal school life in September, The Salvation Army is planning on providing assistance to schools in the disaster area.

Army in Reykjavik, Iceland. Through this, I began to search—to focus on a connection with God and to find out more about who Jesus is.’

In one of the EYE meetings, Nam declared, ‘I have a vision of The Salvation Army in Vietnam. I want to return to Vietnam to serve in The Salvation Army. And if it’s not there, I want to start it!’

The General was asked where The Salvation Army will start work next in an ‘Ask the International Leaders’ segment on Saturday evening. He revealed that the legal work required to commence ministry in Slovakia has recently been completed, and listed several other countries where openings are under consideration.

Delegates were able to choose from a diverse selection of practical workshops throughout the event, with topics ranging from sexuality to sports ministry and from social media to social justice.

The main meetings were enriched through the artistic variety found in The Salvation Army. A young people’s brass band from The Netherlands, gospel choir from Sweden and worship band from Germany were inspirational. Also impressive were the offerings of ballet dancer Shaw Coleman, and the EYE Choir and EYE Dance Group, which were formed at workshops during the event.

Sunday morning’s celebration and commitment service was the culmination of a series of meetings where the Holy Spirit’s presence had been particularly evident. The General delivered the final Bible message, using the encounter of the rich young ruler in Luke 18 as his text. He highlighted the cost of following Jesus authentically.

Scores of young people knelt and prayed at the mercy seat, with many also responding to the General’s invitation to go forward for prayer if they felt God was calling them to Salvation Army officership. Such was the strength of the Holy Spirit’s conviction that even some of the technical crew and those watching online were impacted.

EYE’s legacy will be seen in the many young people who have had life-changing encounters with God. Nam’s face lights up as he explains, ‘Before I came to EYE, I was not a Christian. Now I have accepted Jesus as my Saviour and my life is filled with joy. I am proudly a Christian!’

GAZETTE Appointments Effective immediately—Addiction, Supportive Accommodation and Reintegration Services: Mjr Beverley Macdonald, Programme Manager, Auckland Addiction Services, Mt Eden.

Effective Monday 6 Oct—Southern Division: Mjr Glenda Bezzant, Divisional Secretary for Personnel (additional appointment); Mjr Nigel Luscombe, Divisional Secretary for Business Administration; Mjr Brenda Luscombe, Divisional Secretary for Programme and Divisional Candidates Secretary; Mjr Marilyn Leque, Assistant Divisional Secretary for Personnel; Major June Allwright, Assistant Divisional Secretary for Programme and Divisional Silver Star Secretary.

Bereaved Capt Russell Garbett of his father, Michael Garbett, from Paihia on Tuesday 12 August. The funeral service was held in Kawakawa on Friday 15 August. Please remember Capts Russell and Kathie Garbett and Capt Jules Badger in prayer.

Cadet Tau Mataki of his sister, Winnie Hukarere Mataki, on Wednesday 13 August. The tangi took place on Saturday 16 August at Aorangi Marae in Feilding.

Please remember Cadets Tau and Patricia Mataki in prayer at this time.

Noticeboard | 17

SpiritSong in Whangarei: Let Love Lead the Way

CALENDAR SEPTEMBER 7: Father’s Day : Regional Meeting / Tonga Region –: Regional Review / Tonga Region –1: Kids Camp / Central Division : DHQ Planning Day / Midland Division –1: Youth Conference / Central Division –12: Foundations for Community Ministries / Booth College of Mission 1: Positive Lifestyle Programme Training / Central Division 1–12: Officers Retreat / Fiji Division 11: General Change of Officers Announcement 12–14: Kids Camp (Queenstown) / Southern Division 13: Moral and Social Issues Council / Territorial Headquarters 13: Youth & Children’s Training / Fiji Division 15–1: Officers’ Spiritual Retreat / Wairarapa 1: Officers’ Development Day / Northern Division 1: School for Officer Training Spiritual Day / Booth College of Mission 1: Regional Women’s Night of Prayer / Fiji Division 1–2: Youth Conference / Central Division 2: Workout with the Word / Northern Division : South Canterbury Anniversary 24: School for Officer Training Spiritual Day / Fiji 24–25: Foundations of Leadership / Booth College of Mission 25: Business Coaching / Northern Division 25–2: Children’s Camp / Tonga Region 2: 24/ Prayer / Fiji Division 2–2: Youth Councils / Midland Division 2–2: Central Otago Regional Weekend / Southern Division 2–2: Kids Camp / Northern Division 2–4 Oct: Kids Camp / Northern Division

OCTOBER

13–14 September  pm concert at The Salvation Army, – Aubrey Street, Whangarei. $5 door entry, plus $5 dessert.

10:0 am Sunday worship: ‘Wearing our Hearts on Our Sleeves’.

Celebrate 120 Years with Wellington South Band 24–27 October

Over Labour Day Weekend, the Wellington South Corps Band is celebrating 120 years of ministry and service. Guest leaders are Majors Steve and Chris Black, former corps officers from Melbourne, Australia. Musical guests for the weekend are David Fiu of the NZ Army Band and Matthew Stein of the NZ Navy Band.

For a registration form and info, e: wsbonetwenty@gmail.com, or p: (04)  50. www.facebook.com/WSB120

To advertise your event, email: warcry@nzf.salvationarmy.org

OFFICIAL ENGAGEMENTS Commissioners Robert (Territorial Commander) and Janine Donaldson (Territorial President of Women’s Ministries) 14 September: Taupo Corps 2 September: Flaxmere Corps 2 September: Silver Star Luncheon / Levin (TPWM) 4–5 October: Auckland City Corps (with Wellington City Band) 12 October: Napier Corps 1–1 October: Winton Corps 125th Anniversary 2–23 October: Tri-Territorial Leaders Conference / Melbourne

3–5: Youth Councils / Southern Division 4: Local Leaders Training / Tonga Region

PRAYER FOCUS Please pray for: Wellington South, Westgate, Westport, Whakatane and Whangarei Corps, Northern Divisional Headquarters; The Salvation Army in Rwanda and Burundi.

Subscribe to War Cry Annual subscription (including p&p) $ (within NZ). To subscribe, contact Salvationist Resources, p: (04) 2 040, e: mailorder@nzf. salvationarmy.org

Colonels Willis Howell (Chief Secretary) and Barbara Howell (Territorial Secretary for Women’s Ministries)—from  September 1 September: Welcome to Territorial Headquarters 1 September: Spiritual Day, Booth College of Mission 2–2 September: Orientation and Welcome, Midland Division and Homecare 11–14 October: Orientation and Welcome, Nthn Division and Addiction Services 2–24 October: Tri-Territorial Leaders Conference / Melbourne Crossword Answers: Across:  Unlikely,  Poorer, 1 Calculator, 11 Need, 12 Return, 14 Reliable, 15 Deepest, 1 Reminds, 2 Forecast, 22 Gentle, 24 Logs, 25 Electrical, 2 Picnic, 2 Preceded; Down: 1 Engage, 2 Zinc, 3 Ceilings, 4 Mystery, 5 Spiral,  Foundation,  Revealed, 13 Unpleasant, 1 Economic, 1 Eighties, 1 Attempt, 21 Agency, 23 Loaded, 2 Idea. Quiz Answers: 1 Peru, 2 Au, 3 An old type of gun, 4 Tasman Sea, 5 Jesus and Peter (Matthew 14:22-2).

R E G I S T R AT I O N S N O W O P E N

1 WarCry 06 September 2014

LEADERSHIP LINKS

I know most of us haven’t formally met yet, but right from the start you should probably know something highly personal about me. I’m an ‘oops’! There, I’ve said it. It’s now out there for the whole territory to know.

‘What’s an “oops?” ’ you ask. Well, it’s an unplanned surprise, of sorts. You know, when a couple thinks they’ve had all the children they’re going to have only to discover, oops! there’s one more on the way. In my family, that was me. Oh, don’t get the wrong idea … it’s not that I wasn’t loved or nurtured; it was quite the opposite, I can assure you. It’s just that I was Warren and Margaret Howell’s little surprise from God. Ta-daaa!

As I’ve grown and matured, I have come to the unmistakable conclusion that while my parents may have been caught off guard by my unplanned, unannounced entrance onto life’s stage, God wasn’t. I may have been an ‘oops’ to my folks, but my life is in no way a mistake nor an accident. Neither is yours. I was born for a purpose. So were you. Just read through Psalm 139 for confirmation: Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out; you formed me in my mother’s womb. I thank you, High God—you’re breathtaking!

Body and soul, I am marvellously made! … You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; you know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something.

Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you, the days of my life all prepared before I’d even lived one day. (Psalm 139:13-16, The Message) There’s not the slightest hint of anything accidental or random in those words. That’s just not the way God works. You see, from the very foundation of the world, God knew that you and I would show up exactly as we have, how we have, and when we have. Even though he gave humanity a free will, God still knew what our likes and dislikes would be, what would cause our spirits to soar, and what life experiences he would use to shape us to become more and more like Jesus.

For that matter, long before time began, God even knew he’d be sending a couple of crazy Americans to New Zealand—more than 13,000 kilometers away!—where we would all have the opportunity to live, work, serve, and minister alongside each other for his glory and purpose.

This is why Barbara and I are so excited to arrive here.

Our lives and ministry path have led us to adventures and opportunities we could have never dreamt of! Now we’re eager to see what else God has in store for all of us. Whatever that turns out to be, one thing is for sure: it won’t be an accident.

Colonel Willis Howell Chief Secretary

Freedom in a Teacup If we will only make the time, healing can come through the simplicity of a face-to-face conversation over a cuppa or a shared meal.

BY JULES BADGER I turn 40 in February. Some of you reading this will think ‘Jules, you’re just a baby!’ Others of you will be shocked I got ‘old’ so fast. Ask my teenagers and they’ll tell you I’m positively ancient.

Now, let me put your minds at rest: this article is not going to be a mid-life rant, although my impending birthday milestone does serve to illustrate a point that matters very much in mission.

You see, the older I get, the more I am challenged not only by the complexities of life, but also by how these complexities impact faith and our capacity to experience the abundant or ‘full’ life we are promised in Christ. John 10:10 says, ‘The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I [Jesus] have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.’

I have seen the debilitating work of ‘the thief’ and feel a depth of anguish in my own faith experience as my knowledge of the harsh realities that mark the lives of many people in our community grows. I knew it was tough out there for many Kiwis, but since our corps-based Community Ministries (CM) emerged here at East City (in Howick, Auckland) a few years ago, I have seen and heard things that have broken my heart, messed with my head and truly stretched my faith—and therefore, also my approach to ministry and discipleship.

The result being that I long to see people set free from the consequences of other people’s sinful choices upon their lives.

I long to see people set free from the guilt and condemnation that comes with the consequences of their own poor choices and past mistakes. And I am discovering, along with my wonderful Community Ministries team, that freedom is possible—absolutely!

While ‘anything is possible with God’ (Luke 1:37), we know that the freedom Christ offers still has to be chosen and received.

And for this sort of freedom to be desirable, people need to see it in us. And they need to see that it works in the everyday stuff of life over time. They need to know that freedom is possible even for them!

Mission Matters 19

We have a wonderful team of staff and volunteers at our corpsbased CM at East City in Auckland. Most have come to faith and ministry over the past four years through CM. And I wouldn’t trade them for all the ‘professionals’ in the world! Why? Because freedom is something that can’t be learnt in a classroom or a lecture theatre; it is something that is experienced.

The profession of freedom that comes from a faith experience is something precious and vital that has a life all of its own. If you have been cared for and accepted where you are at—supported and empowered to make different choices, and loved into faith even though you keep messing up and stumbling backwards every now and then—you carry something special from this. You carry something life giving. You carry the experience of being made free!

And all you want to do is pass this on and bring freedom to others.

When did you last sit down and have an unhurried cuppa with someone in desperate need and in survival mode?

Such freedom is communicated through the ‘profession’ of caring. This is the most important service we can provide. Food parcels, budgeting, WINZ advocacy, addiction referrals—all of these things play an essential part, of course. But in and of themselves they are empty tools without the accompaniment of ‘caring for people’.

Taking the time to listen, share stories and to offer love and support as people find strength to make better choices is unquantifiable in its power to transform all of us.

So, freedom in a teacup? Absolutely!

I wonder if we have seriously underestimated the power of God at work in us to bring freedom and healing through the simplicity of a good, old-fashioned face-to-face conversation over a cup of tea or coffee, or a shared meal.

This may seem obvious to many of you. But let me ask you, when did you last sit down and have an unhurried cuppa with someone in desperate need and living in survival mode? Someone who has barely slept because they are spending the nights in their car? Someone who hasn’t had a hot meal in days? Someone who is so agitated they can barely think straight, let alone express themselves coherently?

Someone who lives in constant fear of their ex-partner discovering where the children are staying? Someone who has forgotten how to smile, let alone laugh? Someone who has no reason to trust you because everyone else she’s trusted has let her down? Someone who has tried other agencies and has come to us in a last-ditch effort?

We can offer real freedom with the simple, timeless tool of ‘tea and sympathy’. There’s actually something to be said for Grandma’s remedy of ‘let me make you a cuppa, dear’ when the yoghurt hits

the fan. Something very real happens physically, emotionally and spiritually when we sit down together and care enough not just to listen, but to really give a hoot.

Don’t believe me? At a recent CM workshop, we were shown a clip about the neurological functioning of the brain that validates this. I was astounded to learn that when someone has been enduring the unrelenting stress of just surviving, the amygdala (a part of our brain) is in constant overdrive, producing adrenaline. This is mentally exhausting and draining, and prevents normal rational brain function from kicking in—which can lead to anxiety and depression, with the resulting sleeplessness and loss of appetite.

Amazingly though, when we sit down with someone over a cuppa and ask questions and listen, the amygdala gets a rest, and normal rational brain function takes over. As the brain begins to function normally, the process of reversing some of the negative impact of the overworked amygdala begins.

Freedom in a teacup as face-to-face conversation (and the ensuing response to facial expressions and language nuances) enable a slow but profoundly real process of healing. To top it all off, even the smallest hint of a laugh produces serotonin in the brain—that’s the good stuff! And this can all happen over a cuppa. Powerful!

But here’s the real challenge: one cuppa will rarely be enough. So are you willing to have another? And another? And another after that … for as long it takes?

Caring is a process of building trust. We must seriously grapple with the fact that transformation depends a great deal on the love of God mediated through us over time, sometimes years.

The messier things get, the more the call to care must not be compromised. We need to prove that we can be trusted and that we will be consistent with our care and support.

One cuppa will rarely be enough. So are you willing to have another … for as long as it takes?

And so, when it comes to our Salvation Army mission, I see now more than ever before that our role as ‘carers for people’ is to work alongside God and to call people to freedom. Freedom is caught not taught, because some people have absolutely no idea what it looks like. It’s our job to show them the freedom that leads to abundant life. That’s what God is calling us to!

So, freedom in a tea cup? Give it a go!

Capt Jules Badger is a corps officer (pastor) with her husband Mat at East City Salvation Army

GOD & FAITH

A WORD TO THE GUYS

Guys don’t easily like to admit that they feel afraid because of embarrassing and painful things that have happened in the past. But when we confront our fears and talk about them, life gets a whole lot better … and so do we.

The other night I was helping our oldest teenager do his homework. It was maths and he really struggles with maths (me too!). It involved little numbers and brackets and squares … and more numbers.

At first, trying to nut all this out was really complicated and we felt totally defeated, but we persevered and sweated and stuck with it … and all of sudden, as if by magic, a pattern started to appear. We both got really excited (I know, we need to get out more!), which meant my son could then fly through the rest of his homework in record time.

It was such a rewarding experience to win like this together. We had battled the evils of maths together—and we had won!

It turns out the point of the exercise was to teach how to reconstruct an equation—kind of restoring the number to its original form.

That night we got to talking late into the evening because we were kind of pumped from the win. My son started to recall that when he was still in Year 6, he asked a maths question one day and everyone laughed at him—including the teacher.

Probably no one meant to be mean or malicious, but the incident really knocked my son’s confidence. In fact, it was such an embarrassing moment that he swore to himself he’d never ask another question in a maths class again—hence the reason he really struggled with maths, because he never asked questions from that day on.

Thinking about it, he said that time in class had really ‘deconstructed’ him—it had made him feel a little broken and damaged. And I could relate to that.

Deconstructed There have been times throughout my life where I’ve been deconstructed, so to speak, either by events or people. Sometimes it’s been my own fault, and sometimes it’s come completely unexpectedly from somewhere or someone else. Something has shaken me, and after that I’ve started to react in certain ways and avoid certain situations. Because of fear.

Of course, the big problem is that none of us can grow properly when we’re constantly trying to avoid the things that cause us fear.

And sometimes the things we replace them with are worse than the fear itself.

I tried all sorts of things to take the edge off the fear in my life: alcohol, casual sex, porn, even high-risk adrenalin activities that nearly got me killed. But they were only ever short-lived. And as high as they took me up, they also allowed me to fall hard on the other side. They were addictive and yet at the same time hollow. It was like being on a treadmill where I always wanted more, but nothing really delivered what I needed most.

In the end, the only thing I’ve found that really took the edge off the pain that fear produces was facing my fear and talking about it. Facing it with others who had either been through the same thing or who were old enough and wise enough to show me a way through.

Over time, I’ve come to see that fear leads to depression, and that depression can lead to suicidal thoughts, and that both of these things feed off two main things: ‘avoidance’ (or procrastination) and ‘isolation’ (a lack

 SEPTEMBER  | 

FIREZONE.CO.NZ

FOR ALL THE GUYS TRYING TO LOOK BRAVE AND STAUNCH … of connecting with and communicating with others). These things are like the fuel a fire needs to rage. But if you do the opposite to avoidance and isolation—if you confront and communicate—the self-destructive fire tends to go out. It’s much harder to confront and communicate, because it takes effort. But it’s totally worth it!

Reconstructed And so my boy and I talked about his time in class that day and other times that had eroded his confidence. We looked at ways he could do what the little number outside the brackets did in his homework equation: reconstruct himself back to the number he was before that event. And that number is a 10-out-of-10 (well, it is to me)!

He said he’d try to work on not feeling so selfconscious and afraid about asking questions in class. Maybe he’d start in a class where he was more confident, like with Art Graphics or something, and maybe even with a question he already knew the answer to. And then slowly, day by day, he’d build up to asking a question in maths that he didn’t know the answer to. Progress rarely happens in huge jumps—more often than not, it happens in small, incremental steps.

I told my son that even though everyone laughed at him that day, he didn’t have to let it become the defining moment of his life. He could learn from it. And he could grow from it if he continued to confront it and talk about it with others (by asking questions).

I said, ‘If that ever happens to you again, don’t let it get to you, because there are people who believe in you—myself, your grandfathers on both sides—and those who went before you will be looking down on you with pride. Others may not see the effort you have to make to ask a question, but we do!’

I told him to never stop asking questions, to never stop surrounding himself with people who believe in him. And to be that kind of person for

others—someone who believes in them and encourages them. Someone who fuels confidence and faith, rather than fear and isolation.

For all the guys out there who might be trying to look brave and staunch and who might really be feeling worried and afraid: don’t worry about what others think of you, and don’t be afraid to be yourself—because the people who may have laughed at you in the past won’t be with you when you leave school. They won’t stay with you throughout your life.

Your life is your message to the world, so make sure it’s inspiring. Allow yourself more moments of awe and wonder and passion and grace. Don’t let anyone’s ignorance, hate, drama or negativity hold you back. Most of all, don’t let people dim your light simply because it’s shining in their eyes!

I finished talking that night by saying that, for me, a lot of the time the little number outside the brackets is Jesus (if I was to draw a comparison with the maths homework we had been doing). When I trust in Jesus, he reconstructs me to the way I was before all the things in life that tried to break me down and deconstruct me happened. Jesus gives me a chance to start over, because he knows me, gets me and loves me.

You know, even though I hate doing maths, I wouldn’t trade that evening with my son for the world. And yet I wonder how many golden opportunities like this I’ve missed in the past because I was either too busy or too preoccupied with my own challenges.

I hope I never stop finding those magical patterns in life with my family and friends. I reckon God puts those moments there for all of us, if we’ll just keep making the effort and keep on trying—even in the most difficult of times.

Captain Ralph Hargest is a Divisional Youth Secretary with his wife Nicky in the Northern Division.

DON’T WORRY ABOUT WHAT OTHERS THINK OF YOU, AND BE YOURSELF!

FIREZONE.CO.NZ

GOD & FAITH | 

PURSUE UAL PURITY

BY NATHAN HERBERT We can’t leave it to high schools and the internet to teach us about sex and intimacy.

We need to hear what the Bible has to say.

Disciples of Jesus pursue sexual purity even when it’s difficult (see 1 Corinthians 6:18-20).

This is not an issue just for young people or single people—married people also need to choose sexual purity to remain faithful to their spouse. This is part of why God asks us to wait for marriage to have sex, because it’s training for faithfulness in marriage. If you can’t wait for marriage how will you be able to wait in marriage?

When I was in high school I had several relationships I knew weren’t going to last, but I stayed in them because they were ‘fun’.

I looked for girls who liked me because I wanted to feel loved and accepted. All during high school I had very wrong intentions with girls. I wasn’t in a relationship to get married; I was in the relationship to have my own needs met.

Then a friend invited me to church. At the end of the service, the preacher said, ‘Close your eyes and pray for what you want God to do in your life.’ And I said, ‘If you love me, show me.’ Seconds later, someone came up to me and whispered into my ear, ‘God loves you so much!’ From that day on, I was Christian—a disciple of Jesus!

As a disciple, I’ve had to learn a new way of looking at sex because God wants us to have integrity in our romantic relationships. For guys, this means not touching ‘what bikinis cover’ on a girl. It also means being careful about masturbation. There are stats that 90% of guys masturbate and the other 10% lie about it, but habitual masturbation is not good because it fuels lust. So once you’ve figured out how everything works, don’t see masturbation as something that’s okay. It’s too easy for this to come between you and

God wants us to have integrity in our romantic relationships.

Jesus, and it will also cheapen your romantic relationships.

How do we stay sexually pure in a world where sleeping around is viewed as ‘normal’ and where God’s ways are seen as prudish and weird? We need to make wise choices.

We need to understand that while love waits, lust doesn’t. And that the best way to prove love is patience.

Tools for purity Here are a few Bible verses that help me when I get tempted … 1 Corinthians 10:13 says, ‘No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.’ James 4:7 says, ‘Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.’ God promises to help us, but we have to make the choice to lean into God! If you want to become sexually pure, one of the first things to do is change your thought life—change the way you think. Philippians 4:8-9 says, ‘… whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things … And the God of peace will be with you.’ We need to train ourselves not to focus on sexual things. Our thoughts drive our actions, so start pursuing sexual

purity in your thought life. It all starts in your mind (see Romans 12:2).

Accountability … Be real with someone and get them to ask you the tough questions.

Groups … When you are young and the hormones are raging, don’t be alone with someone of the opposite sex. Stay in groups with lots of friends to have fun. That way there’ll be no regrets.

Grace … Don’t beat yourself up if you stuff up—remember that God is gracious and forgiving. 1 John 1:9 promises, ‘If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.’ Now, I’m not talking about getting stuck in the sin-confess-sin-confess cycle. If you stuff up, you’ll have to live with the consequences, but God’s grace will be there for you.

I’ve been listening to a song by Tenth Avenue North called ‘You are more’. The lyrics say: And I’m crippled by the fear that I’ve fallen too far to love. But don’t you know who you are, what’s been done for you? ….You are more than the choices that you’ve made, you are more than the sum of your past mistakes, you are more than the problems you create, you’ve been remade.

Yes, we muck up sometimes, but God wants to lead us back into a place of peace and freedom and holiness.

Here is a cool example of that. When I go to malls and see those highly inappropriate posters with girls not wearing much, my mind automatically looks away. A few months ago I had to make a conscious decision to look away, but now it’s become a habit. I still have to renew my mind and pray for help every day to win the war against lust, but I have won this particular battle.

Fun4Kids | 3

PICTURE SUDOKU Fill in the empty squares so every row, column and 2x2 box contains each of the four objects:

FIND THE RIGHT PIECE FOR EACH OF THESE CRACKED FLOWER POTS 2

4

1 3 4 6

I am a small room, but no life lives inside. No matter what weather looms, very cold my residents reside.

What am I?

I have four wings, but cannot fly. I never laugh and never cry. On the same spot I’m always found, toiling away with a little sound.

What am I? A fan.

I have a few points but we’re not competing.

And I’ll help you win when you’re eating.

What am I? A fork.

5 7 8 10

CRACK THE CODE

d e ar c h i l dr e n , do n ’t j u st , ’ t a l k a b o ut l o v e . put y o ur . l o v e i n to a ct io n . t h e n it

9 11 12 14 13 4

1 John 3:18, NIRV

ab c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q A

B

C

D

E

F

G

H

I

J

K

L

M

N

O

P

Q

Answers:  & ,  & ,  & ,  & ,  & ,  & ,  & .

Dear children, don’t just talk about love. Put your love into action. Then it will truly be love.

w i l l tr u l y b e l o v e .

r s t u v w x y z R

S

T

U

V

W

X

Y

Z

AWESOME KILBIRNIE KIDS! Grace Bennett, Caitlin Curtis, Hadassah Samuel, Annie Serevi and Keziah Siataaga are all great friends from Lyall Bay School in Wellington.

When Grace saw a news story about a baby that had received wounds during a bomb attack on Gaza, she thought it would be a good idea to raise some money to help children affected by the fighting there.

Grace talked with her friends and asked if they would help her to hold a bake sale. Pretty soon, all the girls were getting busy in the kitchen.

The friends held one bake sale at their Salvation Army church in Kilbirnie that raised $25, and another at Lyall Bay School that raised another $01.

What a great example of what we’re told to do in Philippians 2:4, ‘Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too’ (NLT). We’re proud of you, girls!

Awesome fundraisers (from left) Hadassah, Annie, Grace, Keziah and Caitlin.

PAM BROWN