Faith&Friends
LAUGHING MATTERS
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Word The right one at just the right time is a work of art.
I
sometimes use the wrong words in conversations. Just ask my wife. Thankfully, it’s not as bad as the husband who said, “Having one wife is called monotony.” I assume he meant “monogamy.” When I was a kid, I told my mom a friend got exploded from school. She was surprised. “That’s a little harsh,” she said. Wixed-Up Merds Such mix-ups are called malapropisms, the misuse of similar-sounding words that can bring a delightfully humorous outcome. Here are a few classic word blunders from kids. “I helped my dad in the garage. He let me hit some nails in with his hamster.” Ouch. Poor hamster. That’s not a nice way to go. A proud niece said, “Auntie Mary will be having a baby in March because she is stagnant.”
8 • MARCH 2021 I faithandfriends.ca
by Phil Callaway
Kids learn interesting things in school. Like this: “In geography, we learned that countries with a sea round them are islands and ones without a sea are incontinents.” This is from an essay: “In wartime it was safer in the country. Children who lived in big cities had to be evaporated.” Kids get their merds wixed up and it’s always nice to be around when it happens. “When you write a story,” said one, “you should do a daft copy first. Then you can change it round and make it sound better.” I’ve written a few daft copies myself. This from an eight-year-old: “When you are writing, if you don’t want to use a full stop on a sentence, you can use an excitement mark instead.” TMI Equally entertaining are children found guilty of TMI, or Too Much
