Emotional Intelligence by SANA Chopra

SOFT SKILLS WORKBOOK

Emotional Intelligence BY SANA BHAVYA SMRIDHI AND SOUMYA

INDEX WHAT IS EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

DIFFERENCE BETEEN INTELLIGENCE AND EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

CHARACTERISTICS OF EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

THE IMPORTANCE OF EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE IN OUR LIVES

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE IN WORKPLACE

LAYERED MODEL

ENHANCING EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE| Page 00

PREFACE Emotional intelligence is an extremely important aspect which helps us to lead a peaceful, happy and more successful life.

However, many people are unaware of this gem which can change our life for good. In this book we have talked about the importance of emotional intelligence and its benefits.

The book also gives and insight on how to to enhance our emotional knowledge with some fun activities which will improve the quality of our lives

Emotional Intelligence

There are three main categories in which we can group the capabilities that drive people to outstanding performance. Pure technical skills are knowledge-based depending on the different fields in which we are operating. Accounting for someone working in banking, laws of physics and materials for engineers or dates and history for a tourist guy. Cognitive abilities, otherwise, are brain-based skills we need to carry out any task from the simplest to the most complex. They are related to the mechanisms of how we learn, remember, problem-solve, and pay attention, rather than with actual knowledge. Perception, or the recognition and interpretation of sensory stimuli; attention or the ability to sustain concentration on a particular thing and to manage competing demands in our environment; memory, motor skills, language, visual and spatial processing or executive functions are the best examples of them. Finally, we come to the group of all those competencies that demonstrate emotional intelligence, exemplified around five main groups of skills fundamental to enable the best of leaders to maximize their own and their follower's performance. Selfawareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills are the key steps to master EI. EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE | PAGE 01

Emotional intelligence or EI can be describes as the ability to perceive, recognize and express emotions, to integrate them to facilitate thinking, to understand emotions and to control them in order to promote personal growth. The notion of "intelligence" indicates that the reasoning process intervenes with emotions and that emotional intelligence guides rather than opposes logical reasoning. Numerous studies have shown that the ability to identify and regulate emotions has a positive impact on the health and well-being of individuals, as well as on performance and the ability to succeed on a professional level. Individuals with this type of intelligence can thus identify differences in character, personality or motives for action in the people with whom they interact. Their empathy, as well as their sense of cooperation and tolerance, help them anticipate unstated intentions and expectations, especially in the workplace. These skills are extremely useful in the professional environment, as they help to be proactive, to quickly resolve problems before they get out of hand and to implement viable, effective and, above all, universally accepted solutions. Emotional intelligence is what build rapport with others and make them move in the desired direction. And these are the eight evolutionary steps to do so! Identifying and labeling feelings. ... Assessing the intensity and duration of feelings. ... Expressing feelings. ... Controlling impulses. ... Delaying gratification. ... Reducing stress. ... Knowing the difference between feelings and actions.

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE | PAGE 02

"In a sense we have two brains, two minds, and two different kinds of intelligence : rational and emotional."

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE | PAGE 03

Emotional Intelligence VS Intelligence

IQ is known as “Intelligence Quotient” and it's a measure of a person's relative intelligence. Emotional Quotient, also known as EQ, is the ability to identify and manage your emotions and the emotions of others. The sky's the limit for a person who excels in both areas. Intelligence has many factors, some of which are connected to your ability to reason and others to your ability to feel emotion. IQ tests measure your ability to solve problems, use logic, and grasp or communicate complex ideas. EQ tests measure your ability to recognize emotion in yourself and others, and to use that awareness to guide your decisions. Both kinds of intelligence can influence your job performance, relationships, and overall well-being. Understanding and developing both kinds of intelligence may be the key to success in many areas of your life.

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE | PAGE 04

List Your Strong Qualities List the qualities of emotional intelligence that are of your strong suit and work on enhancing them with us !!

List your qualities in bubbles

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE | PAGE 05

Characteristics Of EQ

According to Daniel Goleman, an American psychologist who helped to popularize emotional intelligence, there are five key elements to it: 1. Self-awareness. 2. Self-regulation. 3. Motivation. 4. Empathy. 5. Social skills. 1. Self-awareness If you're self-aware, you always know how you feel, and you know how your emotions and your actions can affect the people around you. Being self-aware when you're in a leadership position also means having a clear picture of your strengths and weaknesses, and it means behaving with humility

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE | PAGE 06

So, what can you do to improve your self-awareness? Keep a journal – Journals help you improve your self-awareness. If you spend just a few minutes each day writing down your thoughts, this can move you to a higher degree of self-awareness.

Slow down – When you experience anger or other strong emotions, slow down to examine why. Remember, no matter what the situation, you can always choose how you react to it.

2. Self-regulation Leaders who regulate themselves effectively rarely verbally attack others, make rushed or emotional decisions, stereotype people, or compromise their values. Selfregulation is all about staying in control.

·Know your values – Do you have a clear idea of where you absolutely will not compromise? Do you know what values are most important to you? Spend some time examining your "code of ethics." ·Hold yourself accountable – If you tend to blame others when something goes wrong, stop. Make a commitment to admit to your mistakes and to face the consequences, whatever they are. You'll probably sleep better at night, and you'll quickly earn the respect of those around you. ·Practice being calm – The next time you're in a challenging situation, be very aware of how you act. Do you relieve your stress by shouting at someone else? Practice deep-breathing exercises to calm yourself. Also, try to write down all of the negative things you want to say, and then rip it up and throw it away. Expressing these emotions on paper is better than speaking them aloud to your team. This helps you challenge your reactions to ensure that they're fair! EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE | PAGE 07

3. Motivation Self-motivated leaders work consistently toward their goals, and they have extremely high standards for the quality of their work.

How can you improve your motivation? ·Re-examine why you're doing your job – It's easy to forget what you really love about your career. So, take some time to remember why you wanted this job. ·Know where you stand – Determine how motivated you are to lead. Our Leadership Motivation Assessment can help you see clearly how motivated you are in your leadership role.

·Be hopeful and find something good – Motivated leaders are usually optimistic, no matter what problems they face. Adopting this mindset might take practice, but it's well worth the effort. Every time you face a challenge, or even a failure, try to find at least one good thing about the situation.

Notes

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE | PAGE 08

4. Empathy For leaders, having empathy is critical to managing a successful team or organization. Leaders with empathy have the ability to put themselves in someone else's situation.

How can you improve your empathy? ·Put yourself in someone else's position – It's easy to support your own point of view. After all, it's yours! But take the time to look at situations from other people's perspectives. ·Pay attention to body language – Perhaps when you listen to someone, you cross your arms, move your feet back and forth, or bite your lip. This body language tells others how you really feel about a situation, and the message you're giving isn't positive! ·Respond to feelings – You ask your assistant to work late – again. And although he agrees, you can hear the disappointment in his voice. So, respond by addressing his feelings. Tell him you appreciate how willing he is to work extra hours, and that you're just as frustrated about working late.

5. Social Skills Leaders who do well in the social skills element of emotional intelligence are great communicators. They're just as open to hearing bad news as good news, and they're experts at getting their team to support them and be excited about a new mission or project. Leaders who have good social skills are also good at managing change and resolving conflicts diplomatically. They're rarely satisfied with leaving things as they are, but they don't sit back and make everyone else do the work: they set an example with their own behavior.

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE | PAGE 09

5 minute journaling ONE THING I WANT TO REMEMBER ABOUT TODAY

TODAY I FELT...

TODAY I'M GREATFUL FOR

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE | PAGE 10

04 Benefits Of Emotional Intelligence

A high EQ helps individuals to communicate better, reduce their anxiety and stress, defuse conflicts, improve relationships, empathize with others, and effectively overcome life’s challenges. Our emotional intelligence affects the quality of our lives because it influences our behavior and relationships. EQ is synonymous with selfawareness because it enables us to live our lives with intention, purpose, and autonomy. Many of us move through life making important decisions based on our current circumstances. We may perceive them as being beyond our ability to change, thus limiting our options and solutions. Taking time to reflect and examining why we decide to do what we do enables us to lead lives determined by our conscious intentions rather than circumstances alone. Developing EQ can greatly influence our success. Our personal situations and intelligence are factors as well; however, EQ can profoundly affect our choices by creating options we may not have otherwise imagined or considered to be possibilities. EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE | PAGE 11

K N O W YOURS E L F W E L L

Write a note to yourself

What all makes you happy?

What Things bring you happiness?

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE | PAGE 12

Role In Workplace

The unfortunate trend that has swept western society is the inability to fully understand and tackle human emotions. This trend has spilled into other areas of life - including in the workplace. While emotions are often left at the door when you begin work, this has devastating effects not only on businesses but also employees (all the way from assistant to CEO). After all, we are emotional people. Businesses are changing, however, and are beginning to offer extensive and individual work schedules and new services (for example, some healthcare plans include mental health coverage) to ensure people at work are looked after. This includes hiring psychologists for human resources teams: 1. Getting to understand your workforce as best as possible, and 2. Offering useful training has direct results on employee/employer relationships.

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE | PAGE 13

How has Emotional Intelligence made any difference in Workspace? Every day we make emotionally charged decisions. We feel plan A is better than plan B and we sometimes make choices based on our emotions or gut feelings. When we understand the origin and source of these emotions, especially when working in a team, we are more at attuned to each other. With globalization, emotional intelligence is more significant than ever when teams are cross-cultural and global, increasing the complexity of interactions of emotions and how they are expressed. Essentially, emotional intelligence in the workplaces comes down to understanding, expressing and managing, good relationships and solving problems under pressure.

Any thoughts?

Decreased Occupational Stress

Increased Team performance

Improve Decision Making

Increased leadership ability

Reduced Staff Turnover Increased Personal Well-being

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE | PAGE 14

·Role of Emotional Intelligence in Success: While traits like creativity and optimism are thought to be important keys to success, emotional intelligence may also be associated with many benefits that could help a person get a leg up in life. According to the World Economic Forum, emotional intelligence is one of the top 10 skills needed for professional success in 2020 and beyond. People value “success” broadly and doesn’t always translate to how much money a person makes. However, there may be a connection between emotional intelligence and a higher salary. ·Benefits of Emotional Intelligence at work: Knowing the Emotional Intelligence of employees can help organizations understand, to some degree, how an employee might manage their emotions and stress, as well as interact with co-workers and clients. A person’s emotional intelligence might provide insight into which tasks and responsibilities at work are appropriate for them. Build your growth mindset

Focus on Intrinsic motivations

Commit

Improve your Emotional Intelligence

Priorities and Values

STEPS FOR SUCCESS EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE | PAGE 15

For example, a person with high EQ in the workplace might: Understand co-workers, empathize with them, and know how to best interact with them Know how to adjust to meet deadlines Take criticism well and improve based on feedback Be open to making adjustments and improving the overall workplace ·Emotional Intelligence and Leadership: Similarly to success, there are many positive traits that might be attributed to effective leadership, like clear communication and confidence. A high EQ may also be beneficial in leadership roles, especially when working with others or on teams. For leaders and managers, EQ can be essential for: Understanding and communicating with co-workers Motivating employees and teammates Ensuring co-workers and employees are engaged and interested in the work

According to the World Economic Forum, emotional intelligence is one of the top 10 skills needed for professional success in 2020 and beyond.

"Emotional Intelligence is a way of recognizing, understanding, and choosing how we think, feel and act. It shapes our Interactions with others and our understanding of ourselves" - J. FREEDMAN EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE | PAGE 16

How to cultivate Emotional Intelligence ? Identify your weakness

Before you begin to improve your emotional intelligence, it’s beneficial to identify your weaknesses. Self-assessing your emotional weaknesses allows you to guide yourself to become a more understanding communicator.

Review your EI Intelligence

After a self-assessment of your weaknesses, continue your evaluation by reviewing your history of emotional intelligence. Looking back on your emails and text messages gives you the ability to reflect on how you dealt with various situations.

Recieve feedback

To understand your emotional tendencies, receiving feedback from those you trust can help tremendously. These people will be honest about how you are as a communicator, and the feedback you receive could be quite revealing.

Ask for help

To improve emotional intelligence in the workplace, consider asking for help from your manager or a mentor. Explain your desire to improve your communication or leadership skills and ask what they would suggest helping you do this. EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE | PAGE 17

"It is very important to understand that emotional intelligence is not the opposite f intelligence , it is not the triumph of heart over head - it is the unique intersection of both."

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE | PAGE 18

The Pyramid Of Emotional Intelligence

The Emotional Intelligence (EI) model includes features in a more hierarchical structure. The ability level refers to awareness (self and social) and to management. The level of trait refers to the mood associated with emotions and the tendency to behave in a certain way in emotional states considering other important elements that this construction includes as well. The EI pyramid is also based on the concepts of intra personal and interpersonal intelligences of Gardner. Researchers and psychologists John Mayer and Peter Salovey define emotional intelligence as "the ability to perceive, recognize and express emotions, to integrate them to facilitate thinking, to understand emotions and to control them in order to promote personal growth.

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE | PAGE 19

Emotional Stimuli Transcendence Self Actualisation Social Skills Empathy Self Management Self awareness Emotion Recognition Emotional Stimuli

Emotional Stimuli Every day we receive a lot of information-stimuli from our environment. We need to incorporate this information and the various stimuli into categories because they help us to understand the world and the people that surround us better. The direct stimulus of emotions is the result of the sensorial stimulus processing by the cognitive mechanisms. Emotional stimuli are processed by a cognitive mechanism that determines what emotion to feel and subsequently produce an emotional reaction which may influence the occurrence of the behaviour. Emotional stimuli are generally prioritized in perception, are detected more quickly, and gain access to conscious awareness.

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE | PAGE 20

Emotion Recognition The next level of the pyramid after the emotional stimuli is the recognition of emotions simultaneously expressed at times. Accuracy is higher when emotions are both expressed and recognized. Emotion recognition includes the ability to accurately decode the expressions of others’ feelings, usually transmitted through non-verbal channels (i.e., the face, body, and voice). This ability is positively linked to social ability and interaction, as non-verbal behaviour is a reliable source of information on the emotional states of others. Self-Awareness Self-Awareness is having a clear perception of your personality, including your strengths, weaknesses, thoughts, beliefs, motives, and feelings . As you develop self-awareness, you are able to change your thoughts which, in turn, allow you to change your emotions and eventually change your actions. Social Awareness—Empathy—The Discrimination of Emotions The Social Awareness cluster contains three competencies: Empathy, Organizational Awareness, Service Orientation . Being socially aware means that you understand how you react to different social situations, and effectively modify your interactions with other people so that you achieve the best results. Empathy is the ability to put oneself in another’s place (or “shoes”), to understand him as a person, to feel him and to take into account this perspective related to this person or with any person at a time.

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE | PAGE 21

Journal your feelings away Journaling has been known by the medical community as an effectice tool to manage anxiety ,overwhelming feelingsand even cope with depression

Use the wheel of Emotion This tool can be used as a logical and candid way to understand your feelings in a nutshell

Meditate Meditation can help withaspects of emotional intelligence like Self Awareness and Self regulation.

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE | PAGE 22

Self-Management Self-management allows you to control your reactions so that you are not driven by impulsive behaviours and feelings. With self-management, you become more flexible, more extroverted, and receptive, and at the same time less critical on situations and less reactionary to people’s attitudes. The more you learn on the way to manage your emotions, the greater your ability will be to articulate them in a productive way when need be . The second emotional intelligence (EQ) quadrant of self-management consists of nine key components: (1) emotional self-control; (2) integrity; (3) innovation and creativity; (4) initiative and prejudice to action; (5) resilience; (6) achievement guide; (7) stress management; (8) realistic optimism (9) intentionality Social Awareness—Empathy—The Discrimination of Emotions The Social Awareness cluster contains three competencies: Empathy, Organizational Awareness, Service Orientation . Being socially aware means that you understand how you react to different social situations, and effectively modify your interactions with other people so that you achieve the best results. Empathy is the ability to put oneself in another’s place (or “shoes”), to understand him as a person, to feel him and to take into account this perspective related to this person or with any person at a time. With empathy, we can understand the feelings and thoughts of others from their own perspective and have an active role in their concerns .

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE | PAGE 23

Social Skills—Expertise In emotional intelligence, the term social skills refers to the skills needed to handle and influence other people’s emotions effectively to manage interactions successfully. These abilities range from being able to tune into another person’s feelings and understand how they feel and think about things, to be a great collaborator and team player, to expertise at emotions of others and at negotiations. It is all about the ability to get the best out of others, to inspire and to influence them, to communicate and to build bonds with them, and to help them change, grow, develop, and resolve conflict. Social skills under the branch of emotional intelligence can include Influence, Leadership, Developing Others, Communication, Change Catalyst, Conflict Management, Building Bonds, Teamwork, and Collaboration .

Self-Actualization—Universality of Emotions Self-Actualization, according to Maslow , is the realization of personal potential, self-fulfillment, pursuing personal development and peak experiences. It is important to note that self-actualization is a continual process of becoming, rather than a perfect state one reaches such as a ‘happy ever after’. Self-actualizers feel empathy and kinship towards humanity as a whole and therefore, that cultivates the universality of emotions, so that those they have emotional intelligence in one culture probably have emotional intelligence in another culture too and they have the ability to understand the difference of emotions and their meanings despite the fact that sometimes emotions are culturally dependent .

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE | PAGE 24

Transcendence In the level of Transcendence, one helps others to self-actualize, find selffulfillment, and realize their potential .Transcendence refers to the much higher and more comprehensive or holistic levels of human consciousness, by behaving and associating, as ends rather than as means, to ourselves, to important others, to human in general, to other species, to nature, and to the world . Transcendence is strongly correlated with self-esteem, emotional wellbeing and global empathy. Self-transcendence is the experience of seeing yourself and the world in a way that is not impeded by the limits of one’s ego identity. It involves an increased sense of meaning and relevance to others and to the world . Emotional Unity Emotional unity is the final level in our pyramid of emotional intelligence. It is an intentionally positive oriented dynamic, in a sense that it aims towards reaching and keeping a dominance of emotions, which inform the subject that he or she is controlling the situation or the setting in an accepted shape. This reached level of emotional unity in the subject can be interpreted as an outcome of emotional intelligence . The emotional unity is an internal harmony. In emotional unity one feels intense joy, peace, prosperity, and a consciousness of ultimate truth and the unity of all things. In a symbiotic world, what you do for yourself, you ultimately do for another.

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE | PAGE 25

Reflection Page

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE | PAGE 26

Enhancing Emotional Intelligence

The Emotional Intelligence (EI) model includes features from both constructions (the Ability EI and the Trait EI model) in a more hierarchical structure. The ability level refers to awareness (self and social) and to management. The level of trait refers to the mood associated with emotions and the tendency to behave in a certain way in emotional states considering other important elements that this construction includes as well. The EI pyramid is also based on the concepts of intrapersonal and interpersonal intelligence of Gardner Researchers and psychologists John Mayer and Peter Salovey define emotional intelligence as "the ability to perceive, recognize and express emotions, to integrate them to facilitate thinking, to understand emotions and to control them in order to promote personal growth.

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE | PAGE 27

But according to Daniel Goleman, when calculating the ratio of technical skills, IQ, and emotional intelligence, EQ is proved to be twice as important as the others at all levels. After all, is emotional intelligence that builds rapport with others and makes them move in the desired direction. And these are the eight evolutionary steps to do so!

1. Identifying and labeling feelings Anger, sadness, fear, enjoyment, love, surprise, disgust, shame. These are some of the candidates considered as primary feelings from where all the others derive and evolve. From anger, we can experience resentment hostility, indignation. From sadness, other emotions such as grief, sorrow, self-pity, melancholy. Recognizing them and putting them in a name according to our body reactions is the first step into the ladder of high performance.

2. Assessing the intensity and duration of feelings Emotions display a remarkable variability in intensity and duration. Every feeling and its distinctive thoughts, psychological and biological states, manifest in different levels of intensity. Basic feelings have an emotional nucleus at their core. In its surrounding, we can find moods, which are more muted and last longer than an emotion. Beyond moods are temperaments or the readiness to evoke a given emotion or mood.

3. Expressing feelings Emotions entail three main elements. A subjective component that defines the way we personally experience emotions. A physiological component or how the bodies react to the emotion. And an expressive component that determines how we behave in response to this emotion. In this behavioral element, the expression of feelings plays an overexpanding role as the positive management of our emotions is directly related to the positive and appropriate communication of them.

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE | PAGE 28

5. Delaying gratification Closely linked to controlling our impulses and developing strong willpower, we found the delay of gratification. Revealed as one of the most effective personal traits of successful people, this trait ensures a long-term perspective and a sustainable approach to goals-achievement. Choosing to have something now feels good, but making an effort to have discipline and manage impulses can result in bigger or better rewards in the future.

6. Reducing stress Stress affects social skills because it is one of the most significant barriers to successful communication. Communicating under pressure will substantially increase our chances to display negative non-verbal signals and lose control over our emotions. Reducing daily levels of stress and ensuring a calm environment is vital when we are training ourselves to better master our feelings and emotions.

.STRESS-FREE. STRESS-FREE. STRESS-FREE. STRESS-FREE.STRESS FR 7. Knowing the difference between feelings and actions. Understanding the life cycle of emotions as well as the differences between what we feel and what we do is crucial for healthy development and mastering social skills. Each emotional episode is characterized by two stages. During the first stage, the emotion blossoms and strengthens over time, adding to the overall intensity of the emotion. EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE | PAGE 29

T H IR TY DAY E Q C H A L L E N GE

1. C l e a n y o u r room

2. Listen to music from your younger days

3 Meditate

4 Treat yourself with plants

5 Journel

6 Make a vision board

7 Compliment yourself

8 Dance like no one is watching

9 Do something Creative

10 Go for a walk

11 Read A book

12 Cook your favourite meal

13 Learn something new

14 Visit a shelter home

15 Pet a dog

16 Donate

17 Call a friend

18 Spend time with your family

19 Write a letter to your past self

20 sleep on time

21 Wake up at 5 am

22 Watch the sun set

23 Bake something

24 Go out with a friend

25 Spend time outdoors

26 Treat yourself with a spa

27 Go for a morning walk

28 Light up a candle

29 Write a letter to your future self

30 Do journaling

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE | PAGE 30

Bibliography Online Source Citation 1. Mayer J.D., Salovey P., Caruso D.R. Emotional intelligence: New ability or eclectic traits? Am. Psychol. 2008;63:503–517. doi: 10.1037/0003066X.63.6.503. [PubMed] [CrossRef] [Google Scholar] 2. Costa A., Faria L. The impact of emotional intelligence on academic achievement: A longitudinal study in Portuguese secondary school. Learn. Individ. Differ. 2015;37:38–47. doi: 10.1016/j.lindif.2014.11.011.[CrossRef] [Google Scholar] 3. Sternberg R.J. The concept of intelligence and its role in lifelong learning and success. Am. Psychol. 1997;52:1030–1037. doi: 10.1037/0003-066X.52.10.1030. [CrossRef] [Google Scholar] 4. Guilford J.P. The Nature of Human Intelligence. McGraw-Hill; New York, NY, USA: 1967. [Google Scholar]

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE | PAGE 31

“When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but with creatures of emotion.”