The 4-1-1 on IEP Meetings

How to prepare more and stress less

Anne Malinoski

For many parents, a looming IEP meeting causes waves of anxiety. We want our children to have access to the best possible education. But beneficial supports are rarely established quickly or easily. If the IEP process seems overwhelming, help is available. Here’s what local experts have to say about managing stress before and during an IEP meeting.

Forget about “getting it right.”

According to Moira Albritton, a local mother of five and program specialist with Exceptional Family Resource Center, much of the stress leading up to a meeting comes from an unrealistic desire to create “the perfect IEP.” In truth, the IEP can (and should) be updated many times.

“The team is not trying to define services and supports that are ‘right’ or ‘wrong’,” Albritton says. “The IEP document almost inevitably becomes more refined as the team learns more about what is effective for an individual, one-of-a-kind student.”

Preview pertinent information.

Ask to preview any new assessments and data prior to the meeting. It could be upsetting to learn that a child’s present levels are lower than expected. And learning this during the meeting might be overwhelming. Quality, collaborative decision-making is more likely to happen when parents have had time to process this information ahead of time.

Express concerns in advance.

In that same vein, parents should communicate major concerns with the IEP team before the meeting. “When families save up their worries for the IEP meeting, IEP teams are often surprised,” says Albritton. “When people—even professionals—are surprised, they are less likely to respond favorably.”

Prepare a list.

According to Allan Roth, educational consultant with Alliance Resources & Associates, it is helpful to create a list of key items that need to be covered during the meeting. He recommends creating columns to show each item of concern, when it was discussed, the district response, the timeframe for any agreed upon actions, who is taking the agreed upon action, when it will be reviewed and finally, a column to describe the results after it happens.

“Having such a list will help ensure that the IEP does more than simply note that the parent raised a concern without a district plan of action,” Roth says.

Get help before the meeting.

For free IEP resources, including workshops about the IEP process, check in with the Exceptional Family Resource Center (EFRC) at www.efrconline.org. It can be beneficial to seek support from knowledgeable professionals to discuss concerns and desired outcomes. Roth also recommends watching videos about IEP meetings on YouTube. The more knowledgeable parents are about the process, the less anxious they will feel.

Bring a support person.

There may be times when an advocate is necessary, but any supportive person can be of service in a meeting. Invite a fellow parent with IEP experience. Ask if a family member can come along. An additional, caring person in the room can help ease anxiety and keep the conversation on track.

Take a break, if needed.

It’s perfectly acceptable to step away from the meeting for a quick break. “When someone is under stress, it is difficult to fully engage with ideas,” says Albritton. “Taking a couple minutes to regroup, reframe, process and breathe is a great strategy to use when you don’t know how to respond.”

Hot Topic: Staff Shortages

School districts are currently experiencing a staffing shortage in all areas of special education. With an attitude of understanding, it’s OK for parents to ask their IEP team how the shortages are affecting their child’s services.

“When there is a key service that is lacking or severely reduced due to staffing shortages, discuss with the IEP team how it will be remedied,” says Roth. “Also, discuss compensatory education as soon as the service is re-established.” v

Anne Malinoski is a contributing writer and mother of two boys, one of whom has special needs.

Free Resources

and Support

1. Call the Exceptional Family Resource Center at 619-594-7416 or email efrc@sdsu.edu to learn about upcoming IEP workshops, office hours or to schedule a consultation. EFRC can also serve as a “one-stop” source for other resources.

2. Access parent support through your school’s special education local plan area (SELPA), which offers trainings, support groups and ways to address IEP concerns. Get connected with your SELPA’s Community Advisory Committee for Special Education to learn from other families and to engage with SELPA leaders. Learning about “the big picture” helps parents acquire vocabulary and understand any team constraints, which builds confidence and efficiency for IEP meetings.

3. Disability Rights California (DRC) is a great place to obtain self-advocacy resources or call with questions. In certain situations, DRC may be able to represent children at no cost. Call 1-800-776-5746.

4. Attend parent conferences to learn about disability issues and network with other families. One option is to attend the annual Involved Exceptional Parents Day Conference (IEP Day), coming to Mission Valley in April 2024. Scholarships or funding to attend may be available for parents of San Diego Regional Center clients. Learn more at www.IEPday.org.

5. Disability organizations are another source for information and support. Turn to the Epilepsy Foundation for help with a student’s seizure action plan or contact the International Dyslexia Association to learn about available accommodations. Find organizations in the “specific diagnoses” section of Flourishing Families

6. Are you a military family? Education and legal resources are available through your branch’s EFMP Office, as well as School Liaison Officers.

7. Special education attorneys and advocates may offer free initial consultations. In some cases, they may be able to develop creative, accessible fee arrangements. Look in the “advocacy” section of Flourishing Families.