Anne Malinoski
Sweet Dreams Is it Time to Consider a Sleep Coach?
When I was pregnant with my first
son, I read at least 10 books about birth. Sure, I knew the birthing process would last a mere one to two days and I’d chosen a trusted provider to guide me through that singular event. But I really wanted to understand every detail in order to soothe my own anxiety, so I over-prepared. Had I known that baby sleep would be my biggest stressor for the next one to two years, I’d have studied circadian rhythms instead! My son was four months old when I started to feel that everything had gone wrong with his sleep. I was so tired that daily activities were overwhelming. What my sleep coach helped me understand is that I’d never established healthy habits surrounding sleep, and that both my baby and I would need to adjust to some changes. Like many nursing moms, I loved that our evening feed helped my son fall asleep for the night. It was impossibly sweet to watch him doze off in my arms. If he woke on our way to the crib, I’d just feed him a little more until he was happily snoozing again. But as he got older, I needed to feed him multiple times and for longer periods. Soon the bedtime nursing session was taking an hour or more. When he woke at night, he expected the same lengthy routine
12 • SanDiegofamily.com • Baby Guide 2020
to get back to sleep. I was exhausted! My husband couldn’t put our baby to bed, and neither could I without the enormous crutch I’d created. We had a serious problem. According to Certified Sleep Consultant and San Diego mom Jessica Cheeley, many parents seek coaching for some version of the same problem. “It’s the baby’s inability to fall asleep on their own,” she says. “They rely on something to get them to sleep or put them back to sleep.” For some families, this might be a baby who needs to be rocked to sleep or who screams when put down for a nap. It could be the infant who wants to sleep on dad’s chest or who only naps for 30 minutes at a time. All these stories began the same way. At some point, we taught our infants (and ourselves) that they can’t get to sleep or stay asleep without our help. “We don’t typically look at falling asleep as a skill, but it’s an essential skill we have to learn,” says Cheeley. “If you set the right habits early, they learn to fall asleep by themselves without needing to be fed or rocked to sleep.” Once parents identify the habit that needs breaking, it helps to make a plan. What’s the new, healthy bedtime routine? What will you do when baby
