Jody Lee Cates
Parenting with Purpose:
Give Your Family the Gift of Laughter I was born on April 1, so I know a
thing or two about humor. April Fools’ Day jokes and gifts make celebrating my birthday an adventure in laughter. I once received a large box of dirt topped with a tiny shovel I used to dig for my gift. It came with a beautifully frosted cake that I discovered was made entirely of Styrofoam when I tried to cut it. I’m here to testify that April Fools’ Day just might be the funniest day to celebrate a birthday. Also, to say how powerful humor is to bind families together by celebrating the gift of laughter. But humor does much more than add laughter to celebrations.
Humor helps with parenting. Humor helps parents keep perspective and takes the sting out of frustrating moments like a child’s tantrum in the grocery store or a teen’s unhealthy attachment to her cell phone. It helps children understand that discipline is
24 • SanDiegofamily.com • April 2021
about changing unwanted behavior, not about disliking who they are as people. A light-hearted correction guards against shame-based discipline and communicates love and affection despite what went wrong. As they grow, kids who learn how to laugh off mistakes and try again gain the confidence and resilience they need to succeed. One study out of Pennsylvania State University reports that the ability to use humor to cope with stressful situations even contributes to a student’s adjustment to college life, impacting their retention and likelihood of graduating.
Laughter is a valuable coping skill. “Humor is a great coping mechanism to help regulate stress, frustration and worry,” says Reena B. Patel, a San Diego parenting expert, licensed educational psychologist and board-
Find good-hearted April Fools’ Da y pranks for families at www.sandiegofamily.com/things-to-do/ seasonal-happenings/april-fools-day
certified behavior analyst. “We live in a world where children feel that they need to be perfect. Learning to laugh at mistakes and try again breaks the cycle of unrealistic perfectionism. “Laughter is also a wonderful way to get kids to think about and name their emotions,” says Patel. “Learning to name emotions helps kids develop selfawareness, which is an important part of learning to self-regulate. It’s one of the best coping gifts parents can give kids.” Adding humor to your parenting toolbox clearly comes with lots of benefits. But what can you do if you don’t think you’re funny? For more about helping kids learn to name emotions, read our article “There’s a Silver Lining in Challenging Times” at www.sandiegofamily.com/ parenting/how-to-help-children-copedisappointment.
