Culture

At the heart of a Friends school education are the Quaker values, or testimonies, of Simplicity, Peace, Integrity, Community, Equality and Stewardship (SPICES). From the daily interactions in our classrooms to our long-term partnerships in the neighborhood to the connections in our extended school community, we strive to live these testimonies as best we can. While few of our families or staff are practicing Quakers, we collectively commit ourselves to these values, each bringing our own perspective and experience.

● Simplicity – Clarity, priorities, and moderation. ● Peace – Peace within ourselves and the concentric rings of family, neighborhood, city, country, and world. Skills at solving problems peacefully, and removing the sources of conflict. ● Integrity – Being true to oneself and one's values, honesty. “Let your life speak.” ● Community – Understanding our role(s) in forming and sustaining inclusive, vibrant groups in the classroom and beyond. ● Equality – Respecting every person's right to fairness, including and valuing each voice. ● Stewardship – Caring for the gifts we have been given such that others might enjoy or benefit from them.

Meeting for Worship – Our Meetings are held on Wednesday mornings at 8:45 a.m. This gathering is simply a time to sit quietly and reflect upon yourself, your friends and family, and the world around you. Often students compose queries, which are questions posed for thought or discussion. You are invited to join the children and teachers at Community Meeting for Worship on the first Wednesday of each month. Please note that we will continue to hold our Community Meetings for Worship on Zoom for the start of the 2022–2023 school year, and will keep you posted regarding when we are able to invite families to join us once again in our Meeting Room on campus.

Peaceful Problem-Solving – When a normal social conflict arises, we’ll work to solve it by listening carefully, proposing solutions, talking through possibilities, and building consensus. This Quakerly process takes time but produces a resolution that is sound and lasting. In the younger grades, children use the “Peace Table” to support the development of problem-solving skills such as attentive listening, “I” statements, and assertive language. “Meeting for Business” is also used to discuss conflicts as a group with the guidance of a teacher. In Middle School, peer mediators are trained to help students manage social conflicts of all kinds.

Quaker Life – Here are a few terms that you might run into at San Francisco Friends School:

AFSC – American Friends Service Committee. The AFSC is housed in the same building as the San Francisco Friends Meeting House, at 65 Ninth Street.

Clerk – A person who facilitates a meeting or committee. Ernie Hsin and Rebecca Foster are co-clerks of our Board of Trustees; Laurie Dewan and Adam Berman are co-clerks of the Parents Association; Noah Bowling and Christine Tantoco are co-clerks of the professional community. The Quaker Life Committee of the Board of Trustees sponsors a clerking workshop.

FCE – Friends Council on Education. A nonprofit organization based in Philadelphia that supports Friends schools, colleges, and study centers across the country. San Francisco Friends School is a member of the Friends Council on Education. FCE organizes workshops, publishes many of the pamphlets we share with you, and offers curriculum designed to assist teachers in Quaker schools. Our teachers and staff members have attended numerous FCE conferences at a Quaker retreat center outside of Philadelphia called Pendle Hill.

Friends (or SpiritLed) Decision Making – Friends organizations come to decisions through an inclusive process that focuses on clarity, community, and a sense of unity. At school meetings with faculty, parents, and children, we encourage “active listening” and work to come to a group decision that thoughtfully addresses issues and concerns that have been raised. The faculty learns about spirit-led decision-making as part of their professional development at SFFS and in a workshop sponsored by FCE entitled, “Educators New to Quakerism.”

George Fox and Margaret Fell – Founders of the Religious Society of Friends in Britain during the 17th century.

Holding in the Light – Focusing on a person or a concern in a spiritual, prayerful way.

Quaker Testimonies – Quaker values or core beliefs such as peace, simplicity, equality, and a commitment to nonviolence. Annually our school community focuses on a particular testimony along with queries to help guide our thinking, reflecting, and acting.

Queries – Moral questions Friends ask themselves about how they are living their lives. Queries often begin with an expression like "How might I . . . ?" or "How might we . . . ?" Children at our school learn to construct queries based on their experiences on the playground and in the classroom; such questions might look at friendship, fairness, or ways of dealing with conflict. Children respond to queries in their journals, in Meeting for Worship, or at a class Meeting for Business.

Religious Society of Friends – The formal term for the Quaker faith. In 1650, Friends bade an English judge to “tremble before the word of God.” He called them “Quakers. ”

SPICES – An acronym we use to identify the Quaker values or testimonies—simplicity, peace, integrity, community, equality, and stewardship. You’ll hear about “SPICE workshops” where you can learn about these values as they apply to our everyday lives at school and home.

San Francisco Friends Meeting House – Located at 65 Ninth Street (near Mission), the Religious Society of Friends welcomes you to attend Meeting for Worship, which takes place on Sundays, from 11:00 a.m. to noon. There is a special program for children during the silent (“unprogrammed”) worship. The San Francisco Friends Meeting also organizes various activities, hosts speakers, publishes a newsletter, and supports community events. Please contact a member of the Quaker Life Committee if you are interested in knowing more about—or attending—our local Friends Meeting. There are “Seekers Packets” and books about the Religious Society of Friends available at the Meeting House and SFFS libraries. Families are encouraged to help at their Saturday food pantry. Please visit the wiki for information and sign ups.

Birthdays –

At Home: We urge you to handle birthday celebrations thoughtfully. Please do not plan on distributing invitations at school unless the entire class is invited. If your child is planning a party for only girls or boys, leaving out one or two children results in hurt feelings; if you are not planning to invite the whole class, please invite less than half the class. If you have questions or concerns, talk to your child’s teacher for guidelines. At School: At school, we strive to keep acknowledgements of students’ birthdays simple and equitable; classes might choose to sing a special birthday song, share a special book, or hold an appreciation circle in class. Families, students, and teachers are asked not to bring in special treats for the children. We trust that children are well celebrated at home and acknowledged at school.

Gifts – Please encourage your child to express her/his gratitude to teachers and staff members on an ongoing basis, not just on special occasions or holidays. Any gifts brought to school should be simple and homemade—a jar of jam, a drawing, a note, some flowers, a loaf of bread. The Parents Association Teacher Appreciation Committee will organize summer and holiday gifts to be given to faculty and staff. For happy last-minute gifts like spare tickets to a cultural event, please send them along to the Head’s Assistant, Violet Borowski, who will make sure that they are enjoyed by a member of the team at San Francisco Friends School.

Holidays, Traditions, and Special Occasions – Over the course of your child’s time at San Francisco Friends School, we’ll learn about and celebrate holidays and traditions from around the world in response to our program. However, we do not celebrate holidays as a regular, isolated part of our curriculum. That means both Valentine’s Day and Halloween will seem like typical school days here, as we do not choose to highlight these events with parades or school-wide celebrations. Each year we focus on a single Quaker testimony or value, and in the 2022–23 school year our testimony is stewardship.

Media/Electronic Devices – Whenever possible, our teachers encourage free and imaginative play, helping around the house, time outside, reading, building, drawing—even boredom, as alternatives to time spent on electronic devices. SFFS hosts an internet safety workshop for the parents of older children, explaining the school’s philosophy, policies, and procedures and sharing some parenting tips to help you support your child’s media journey. E-readers, such as Kindles and Nooks, may be brought to school and used by students at the classroom teacher’s discretion.

Any student requiring a cell phone for after-school communication is asked to keep it off and out of sight during the school day. If a student has one but it’s not needed, they are discouraged from bringing it to school. With adult permission cell phones may be used in designated areas referred to as “phone booths” during break or after the school day has ended.

Clothing – Please send your child to school with warm, comfortable, simple clothes, and shoes appropriate for the day’s activities. We’ll make every effort to create an environment in which clothes neither distract from nor impede the work and play of the children. We’d like you to help us de-emphasize the importance of outward appearances, and help children understand that fancy clothes are for special occasions, not for everyday life; if your Middle-Schooler wears something inappropriate (in Lizzie’s opinion), he or she will be issued a lovely (large) SFFS t-shirt and/or sweats for the day.