San Joaquin Parents Magazine November 2018 by San Joaquin Magazine

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NOV/DEC | 2018

SAN JOAQUIN PARENTS MAGAZINE

10/17/2018 9:06:48 AM

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THE MAGAZINE FOR IN-THE-KNOW PARENTS

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NOV. / DEC. 2018

PUBLISHER | EDITOR

Tony Zoccoli MANAGING EDITOR

Lindsey Rodrian SECTION EDITOR

Nora Heston GRAPHIC DESIGNER

Sybil Watson / Lucas Zoccoli MARKETING ADVERTISING SALES MANAGER

Neelam Patel ADVERTISING

Michelle Cox

CONTENTS

6. All Aboard: The Polar Express

Just hop on board their Polar Express and enjoy a round-trip ride to and from the North Pole!

6. Babysitting on a Budget

Babysitting alternatives that will keep your mind—and wallet— happy.

8. Willow Tree Days

The ultra-sweet, super-cute family behind Lodi’s newest Willow Tree Children’s Boutique has a story to share, and a whole lot of perfect looks for your little ones. The three generations behind this downtown shop have stocked it with designer

10. The Truth About Santa Claus There are a lot of questions

for parents to consider before spilling the beans about Santa, and with peer influence this conversation also comes about before you’re ready for it. Learn how to handle it, when to have the talk, and what options you have before diving in.

14. Sneaky Learning

For some reason when you throw the word “educational” into a conversation, kids seem to tune out. They suddenly find an activity boring. It’s okay to get a little bit sneaky when it comes to advancing a child’s mind. Check out our ideas for slipping learning experiences into everyday life.

REGULAR CONTRIBUTING WRITERS

Alexandra Krueger, Caitlin Hamer Heather Isbill Faith Lewis, Steph Rodriguez PHOTOGRAPHY

Dan Hood

16. Mom’s Night Out

18. Education Alternatives Established in 1999, Visions In Education has been dedicated to changing lives through one-on-one instruction, which is one of the greatest benefits of homeschooling and independent study. They now serve over 6,000 students throughout nine counties, including San Joaquin.

DISTRIBUTION SERVICES

Rebecca Ristrim

San Joaquin Parents Magazine published bi-monthly by San Joaquin Magazine 318 W. Pine Street, Lodi, CA 95240 Phone: (209) 833-9989 www.sanjoaquinmagazine.com All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without written permission from this publisher. Photographs, graphics, and artwork are the property of Inside Magazines Publishing Company. © 2018 Inside Magazines Publishing Co.

18. About Mental Health

There are several theories about the uptick in mental health disorders, especially in adolescence. Read on to see what Jeremy Sinclair, a school counselor and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist for Venture Academy K-12 charter school with SJCOE, has to say about mental health and kids.

CONNECT I TWEET I READ KEEPING THE CENTRAL VALLEY CONNECTED

26. Turkey Day Games

Make the most of Thanksgiving Day by maximizing family fun time with themed games sharing exercises, parades, and more.

28. 10 Great Dates 30. Last Word

THE MAGAZINE FOR IN-THE-KNOW PARENTS

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HIGHLIGHTS

ALL Aboard!  BY CAITLIN HAMER

Babysitting on a Budget  BY ALEXANDRA KRUEGER

Hesitant to empty your bank account for traditional daycare, but not interested in employing the nearest pimply teenager to watch your bundles of joy? We totally get it. Check out these babysitting alternatives that will keep your mind—and wallet—happy. Friends & Family: Family is your greatest resource, and chances are, they would love to spend quality time with their niece, nephew, or grandchild. Your friends can also be a source of support, especially if they love kids. Promise to take them out to dinner one night or bring them a nice bottle of vino as a thank you! Baby Sitting Co-Op: A great way to get to know other families, a babysitting co-op is a trade service, meaning you get free babysitting in return for providing free babysitting for others. This works especially well if you and the other parents have opposite schedules. It’s a great way for your kids to socialize and make friends, too!

It’s the perfect time of year for a magical journey, and Sacramento’s own California Railroad Museum has got you covered. Just hop on board their Polar Express and enjoy a roundtrip ride to and from the North Pole! Depending on your ticket purchase, you will be seated in either a coach car, or a firstclass car. But not to worry—each passenger will get to experience the same magic and wonder. From hot chocolate and cookies to waiters dancing down the aisle, and jolly old St. Nick himself coming on board, this will be a night to remember. The return journey from “The North Pole” will wrap up with a rousing singalong of Christmas carols, so spirits are sure to be merry from start to finish. The train ride will last approximately one hour, and boarding will begin twenty minutes before departure. Like

the young passengers in The Polar Express book, children are invited to dress in their warmest pajamas, but make sure they have appropriate footwear! The train departs from the Railroad Museum in Old Sacramento, which means walking across packed granite soil, as well as wooden boardwalks, to get there. There will be no restrooms on board, so plan accordingly. Catch the first Polar Express trains of the season on November 23, 24, and 25, and every Wednesday through Sunday until December 20th. Departures are at 3:30 PM, 5 PM, 6:30 PM and 8 PM, making this a special evening excursion for the whole family to enjoy this holiday season.

Sharecare: This one works well if you and other parents in your neighborhood have similar schedules. Most baby sitters charge by the hour, not the number of kids, so if you coordinate with other parents and split the cost, you can share a sitter— drop your kids off at their house when the sitter is present, or vice versa. Non-Profit Centers: If you’re looking for a costeffective after school program, inquire at your nearest church or YMCA center. The programs can be either inexpensive or completely cost-free, and can accommodate children from their early years up to their teens.

FOR MORE INFORMATION: CALIFORNIA STATE RAILROAD MUSEUM 125 I St., Sacramento (916) 445-7387 CaliforniaRailroad.Museum

THE MAGAZINE FOR IN-THE-KNOW PARENTS

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AN JOA •• S QU

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NOV/DEC | 2018

SAN JOAQUIN PARENTS MAGAZINE

10/17/2018 9:06:54 AM

WILLOW TREE Days  BY ALEXANDRA KRUEGER

AMANDA COLLINS PHOTOGRAPHY

Mindy Maiwald Compton has always believed in the importance of putting family before one’s career. Then again, instead of choosing between the two, Mindy has always found a way to combine them. “I wanted to have a career where I could be a mom first,” she explains. “Something where I could still hang out with my daughter and make her my priority.” When Mindy heard Willow Tree Children’s Clothing Boutique was on the market, she decided to capitalize on the opportunity. And, she knew just the person to help her. “My mom and I have worked together for years, and she has accounting experience— she did the books for a multimillion-dollar company for over 30 years before she went into retirement,” explains Mindy. “I have a degree in child development and have worked the last eight years in retail. So, it was just a perfect marriage of those things.” At the start of June, Mindy and her mother Jan Campbell bought the boutique, and in July, moved the store to its new School Street location in downtown Lodi. Together, the mother-daughter team has curated some of the best children’s clothing and accessories, with shelves and clothing racks boasting high-quality items and lines—Mayoral from Spain, ultra-soft KicKee pajama pants made from bamboo, Little Giraffe throws, Copper Pearl blankets, and so much more. And, if you stop in for a visit, don’t be surprised to see Mindy’s daughter toddling around the boutique. Just three years old, Everly Compton is more in love with Willow Tree than anyone. “She loves being here with us, and she gets to play with all kinds of kids,” says Mindy. “She cries on the days we don’t go to the store—she calls them ‘Willow Tree days’.” And what exactly makes a Willow Tree Day? It isn’t just the high-quality clothes, blankets, and accessories that the boutique carries—it’s the experience of family. “In working together, my mom and I are giving my daughter strong female role models,” explains Mindy. “We’re showing her how to stand on her own two feet.”

CHILDREN’S BOUTIQUE USHERS IN A FAMILYFRIENDLY ERA IN LODI

In addition to being a positive role model for her daughter, Mindy wants her boutique to be a role model for the community—offering cookie-baking classes, tea parties, doula classes, and even a safe, comfortable place for moms to breastfeed or pump if they’re out and about downtown. “Downtown Lodi is such a good destination,” concludes Mindy. “We hope to make it more family-friendly!” JOIN THE WILLOW TREE FAMILY: WILLOW TREE CHILDREN’S CLOTHING BOUTIQUE 120 N. School St., Lodi (209) 339-7300

THE MAGAZINE FOR IN-THE-KNOW PARENTS

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NOV/DEC | 2018

SAN JOAQUIN PARENTS MAGAZINE

10/17/2018 9:06:57 AM

FAMILY VALUES

The Truth

About Santa Claus

THE MAGAZINE FOR IN-THE-KNOW PARENTS

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10/17/2018 9:06:58 AM

s  BY NORA HESTON

Experts often disagree about how and when to tell your kids about Santa. Does it promote dishonesty to keep the secret? Are you protecting a child’s innocence by letting them believe? There are a lot of questions for parents to consider before spilling the beans about Santa, and with peer influence this conversation also comes about before you’re ready for it. Learn how to handle it, when to have the talk, and what options you have before diving in.

What Age? The choice of when to tell your child about Santa Claus is often taken from you. Peers tend to share the news regarding the realness of Santa early and often. For many kids older siblings or cousins ruin the illusion, and unfortunately even if your child doesn’t have these influences, their friends at school are likely to share their knowledge. It’s safe to assume that kids will figure out the truth about Santa before they hit age 10. In many cases kids as young as 5 are questioning his existence. Grade school is the most common time for the truth to come out. If your child doesn’t question the existence of Santa by then, it doesn’t mean they don’t know or don’t suspect either. Perhaps they are protecting your feelings.

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NOV/DEC | 2018

SAN JOAQUIN PARENTS MAGAZINE

10/17/2018 9:06:59 AM

FAMILY VALUES

THE MAGAZINE FOR IN-THE-KNOW PARENTS

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The Benefit of the Truth:

Having the Conversation:

Studies have shown that kids who are lied to by their parents are more likely to lie themselves. No one wants to raise a liar, but the correlation between make-believe stories about Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy may not be exactly the same as full-out fibs. One problem experts point to is that parents often use Santa as an excuse to behave. Saying, “Santa is always watching,” or rewarding good behavior with promises of more gifts from the North Pole can certainly come off poorly when your child learns the truth, The upside, however, is that knowing Santa isn’t real doesn’t have to ruin Christmas. That “magic” isn’t all tied up in a jolly man in a red suit. By getting this silly tradition out of the way— but still fully embracing holiday tradition—parents open the door for their child to appreciate Christmas for what it really is. When kids know how much work parents put into Christmas Day, they may become more thankful for the gifts received. Knowing they aren’t made by elves but carefully selected by someone who cares for them is flattering and may make them feel good. It can also encourage kids to become more giving themselves. Don’t worry that knowing the truth about Christmas will ruin the holiday. Instead think of how much you still enjoy it even though you’ve known the truth for some time. For families that practice religion it can also help to focus on Bible stories this time of year. Kids may lose the magic of Santa Claus, but in many religions the magic of Christmas is about much bigger miracles than a man who can slide up and down a chimney with ease.

When you’re both ready, sit your child down to talk. Some parents will decide to do this as soon as the questions start. Others may wait for their kids to come to them. There’s no right or wrong way, or right or wrong time. If it suits you, be proactive. Use a child’s potential doubt as a segue into the conversation. This is a chance to be honest. If lying to their face feels forced, don’t. There is opportunity to do this on your terms. If you’re considering this conversation for a future date, pick a time not near Christmas. It may seem weird to bring up Santa Claus in June, but creating separation gives a child the time to process. You won’t crush their souls in the days leading up to Christmas, instead you’ll give kids ample time to process the news and get excited about Christmas again. Kids are resilient, but you can help the situation by creating that time to heal and move on. When you open this can of worms, you’re likely to stumble into a minefield of questions about other mythical creatures including the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, and more. Don’t pick and choose what to be honest about. At this time, it’s probably best to just rip the band-aid off. Give kids an alternative. As mentioned above, if you are religious this is a good opportunity to introduce the magic of religious stories into the holiday celebrations. If not, opt to focus on the spirit of giving and how good it feels to care for others. Trade Santa trips at the mall for volunteer hours at the local soup kitchen. After all, this is the true meaning of Christmas.

NOV/DEC | 2018

SAN JOAQUIN PARENTS MAGAZINE

10/17/2018 9:07:06 AM

EDUTAINMENT

Sneaky Learning  BY NORA HESTON

For some reason when you throw the word “educational” into a conversation, kids seem to tune out. They suddenly find an activity boring. If you tell your child you are about to teach them something, you may be met with groans. It’s okay to get a little bit sneaky when it comes to advancing a child’s mind. Check out our ideas for slipping learning experiences into everyday life.

DECORATE Add educational wall décor to your child’s room— bonus points if it matches an existing interest! This is as easy as plastering the solar system on their ceiling or multiplication tables on the wall. For older kids, put the periodic table up somewhere they will always see it. Without realizing it, kids will start to learn the information surrounding them, almost through osmosis.

BE PUSHY (WITHOUT BEING PUSHY) If you ask your child read a non-fiction history book, the suggestion may not be well received. Kids are more likely to engage in an activity if it felt like their idea. A great tip is to leave out educational books and toys for kids to discover on their own. If it’s around, in plain sight, and easy to reach, chances are curiosity will cause them to peek.

TAKE EDUCATIONAL OUTINGS There are so many places to explore throughout San Joaquin County, and the rich history of the region creates more opportunities for kids to learn. The key is to focus on how fun the outing will be and not its educational value. Visit the San Joaquin Historical Society in Lodi or The Haggin Museum in Stockton for a look at local history. World of Wonders lets kids explore science through action. Even Micke Grove Zoo can teach kids about animals and the physical world around them. Do it for free: Take a hike and identify flora and fauna along the way. Can you find any animal tracks?

COOK TOGETHER Kids learn a lot by cooking with parents. Not only is learning to cook a valuable skill for all adults, there are hidden lessons within the process. Consider this: the way ingredients act together is science. Can you show your child the difference between sweets made with and without baking powder? How about yeast? Talk about chemical reactions and why some ingredients cause baked goods to rise. There’s also an opportunity for a math lesson in there. Struggling with fractions? Have your child pour ingredients into measuring cups, then ask questions. Example: If we put in ½ cup of milk and ¼ cup of water, how much liquid did we just add to this dish?

THE MAGAZINE FOR IN-THE-KNOW PARENTS

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NOV/DEC | 2018

SAN JOAQUIN PARENTS MAGAZINE

10/17/2018 9:07:09 AM

MOMMY ME-TIME

MOM’S NIGHT OUT  BY NORA HESTON

Enjoy a Sophisticated Evening

Grab dinner at a trendy place you’d never take your kids. May we suggest Midgley’s Public House in Stockton or Mikasa Asian Bistro & Sushi Bar in Tracy? Sometimes having an uninterrupted dinner (and cocktails) while catching up with girlfriends is all you need. Step it up: Get event tickets for after dinner. On Nov. 4 the Moscow Ballet brings The Great Russian Nutcracker to the stage at Bob Hope Theatre in Stockton.

Let’s face it—whether you slay at home all day or are a full-time working mama, you deserve a break from the chaos of family life every once in a while. Grab your girlfriends for a night on the town! We’ve got suggestions so epic they just may rival those blockbuster hits we can’t get enough of.

See an “R” Rated Movie

Having trouble remembering the last time you saw a movie that wasn’t animated? Us too! Your mom’s night out doesn’t have to be crazy. Pick a movie with curse words and at least a PG-13 rating to feel a little rebellious for the night.

Wine a Little

Escape with your girls to Lodi wine country. Want to get a little toasty? Don’t make one mom play designated driver. Instead call on the Sip Shuttle to make the most of your day away. Tours are offered twice a day—11 AM-4 PM and 11:30 AM-4:30 PM—and include stops at four wineries. Sip back and enjoy the ride.

Make it a “Staycation”

If you can get away for an entire night extend your wine tasting adventure into the next day with a luxurious stay at Wine & Roses. Get massages, facials, and other treatments at the on-site spa before diving into dinner at Towne House Restaurant.

Shop ‘Til You Drop

Forget the mall—Stockmarket is the place to be. This curated outdoor marketplace is filled with goods from the areas best makers. Plus, with plenty of worthy food trucks and live, local music, it’s easy to spend a whole day. Spread the word—the next marketplace is coming in December.

Keep Your Eye on Local Calendars

Cities throughout San Joaquin County host exclusive mom’s or girl’s night out events throughout the year. All you have to do is know where to look. Keep an eye on event calendars in Tracy, or the City of Lodi’s for a themed wine stroll.

THE MAGAZINE FOR IN-THE-KNOW PARENTS

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NOV/DEC | 2018

SAN JOAQUIN PARENTS MAGAZINE

10/17/2018 9:07:12 AM

LOCAL RESOURCES

EDUCATION

Alternatives

FIND WHAT’S RIGHT FOR YOUR CHILD WITH VISIONS IN EDUCATION BY CAITLIN HAMER

Visions offers three programs: Home School (Grades TK – 12), Independent Study (Grades 9 – 12), and University Prep (Grades 9 – 12). In the Home School program, parents have a hands-on role as the primary educators, instructing for four to six hours a day. Parents are provided with a student budget to use for the curriculum, as well as for activities such as music, athletics, coding, and more. Independent Study is the perfect alternative for high school students that need a flexible schedule, such as those who both work and go to school or need to catch up on credits. And then there is University Prep, which offers many of the same benefits as Independent Study but caters to students that are preparing to attend a four-year college or university. Both Independent

One of the most crucial choices you’ll make as a parent is deciding how your child is educated. For most people, that means choosing between sending their children to public or private school, but there are other options that have withstood the test of time and are gaining in popularity—home school and independent study. If you’re interested in an education alternative, but not sure how to proceed, then read on: Visions In Education may just be the school you’ve been looking for. Established in 1999, Visions In Education has been dedicated to changing lives through oneon-one instruction, which is one of the greatest benefits of homeschooling and independent study. They now serve over 6,000 students throughout nine counties, including San Joaquin. As Visions is a fully accredited school, parents can rest assured that their children are receiving an outstanding education, in a safe environment, with a flexible schedule that addresses individual differences and learning styles. And since Visions is a public school, all their programs are free.

Study and University Prep give students the opportunity to meet with credentialed teachers for one-on-one assistance. In addition to their stellar educational programs, Visions offers several resources, such as free laptops for Independent Study and University Prep students, a full-service counseling department, and online and inperson tutoring. And much like a traditional learning environment, students still have access to socially enriching activities and events like dances and college tours. By the time students graduate from Visions In Education— and yes, there is a commencement ceremony—they will be fully prepared to take on their next stage of life. Go online to learn more and to start the application process! FOR MORE INFORMATION: VISIONS IN EDUCATION 1-833-883-1601 Viedu.org

THE MAGAZINE FOR IN-THE-KNOW PARENTS

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NOV/DEC | 2018

General Admission Applies. Contact the WOW for more information World of Wonders Science Museum 2 N. Sacramento St. Lodi, CA 95240 www.wowsciencemuseum.org • (209) 368-0969

SAN JOAQUIN PARENTS MAGAZINE

10/17/2018 9:07:14 AM

ABOUT

MENTAL HEALTH  BY NORA HESTON

Mental health is a hot topic today. Not only are adults being diagnosed with disorders such as anxiety and depression, kids are commonly receiving these diagnoses as well. Sometimes there is a correlation between a parent’s health conditions and their offspring, giving parents a positive way to help their child through experience. Other times a parent struggles to understand the inner workings of their child’s brain and this leads to conflict and misunderstanding. There are several theories about the uptick in mental health disorders, especially in adolescence. Some blame technology and social media while others think proper screening and diagnosis has just finally caught up. Read on to see what Jeremy Sinclair, a school counselor and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist for Venture Academy K-12 charter school with SJCOE, has to say about mental health and kids.

HOW PREVALENT ARE MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES IN SCHOOLAGED CHILDREN?

It’s important to remember everyone has mental health just as everyone has physical health. Having an issue with mental health can be mild and temporary such as grief, sadness, worry, etc. There is a higher threshold to diagnosable mental illness.

CAN FEELING DIFFERENT OR DOWN CAUSE ISOLATION?

Many young people I work with believe they are the only ones in their circles dealing with a particular issue when I happen to know of others in their very classrooms or even family who are dealing with a similar thing who also feel they are the only ones.

WHAT SIGNS SHOULD PARENTS LOOK FOR THAT THEIR CHILD MAY BE STRUGGLING WITH A MENTAL DISORDER? A note on mental disorders: a mental health professional only diagnoses them. You wouldn’t believe your child has cancer without a doctor’s diagnosis but there are many symptoms that would lead you to be concerned something more may be going on. In the same way there are symptoms to their behavior and emotions that would warrant parents concern and possible further evaluation. Significant and prolonged changes in their child’s behavior and/or mood is a general indicator that there may be an

JEREMY SINCLAIR ANSWERS THE TOUGH QUESTIONS ABOUT MENTAL HEALTH & OUR KIDS

issue to explore. Signs of mental disorders or mental distress can vary significantly because the disorders themselves present very differently. This makes generalizations difficult. Mental health workers may be experts in mental illness but parents should remember they are experts in their child’s behavior and may be the best source in identifying a problem. If a parent feels there is a something wrong, either mentally or physically, it is not something to ignore.

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HOW CAN WE TEACH POSITIVE MENTAL HEALTH AND THE IMPORTANCE OF SELF CARE TO KIDS?

In a word: modeling. Children learn what is acceptable to do and say from what they see us do and say ourselves. Parents must not allow double standards between what they ask of their children but are unwilling to do themselves. Show children it is ok to talk about how they are feeling by demonstrating it yourself.

WHAT DOES SELF CARE LOOK LIKE FOR KIDS IN GRADE SCHOOL?

Self care comes much more naturally to kids than for adults. Kids need the opportunity to be kids! Play is not only fun time, it is necessary for them. Play with your children and you will find it is not only good for them but for you too. Play is serious business! In addition, children need healthy routines that include good sleep and eating habits.

WHAT MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES ARE MOST PREVALENT AT THESE AGES?

Anxiety and depression have been and continue to be the most common mental health issues children face.

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WHAT FACTORS CAN LEND TO MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES? ARE SOME CHILDREN MORE SUSCEPTIBLE THAT OTHERS?

Genetic factors and environmental circumstances play a role in the development of mental illness. Most commonly it is an interplay of the two.

IF PARENTS SUSPECT A PROBLEM, WHAT SHOULD THEY DO?

I would always encourage parents to first approach a concern directly with their child, this will model openness and acceptance. It may help confirm or calm the concern. If parents feel they need to pursue their concern with a professional there are a number of ways to start. An appointment with the child’s pediatrician can be beneficial to rule out medical issues and provide referrals. School counselors and psychologists will have a good network of referrals. Insurance providers will be able to give a list of therapists and psychologists covered in their plan. It is important to treat a mental health concern just as we would a physical concern. Ask questions and find out as much as we can from our child. If there are still questions and concerns, allow a professional to help. It may be found out there is no cause for concern but if there is then knowing about it will only help address it in better ways.

THE MENTAL HEALTH STIGMA So many kids, and even adults, are afraid to talk about their mental health when they aren’t feeling 100% normal. It becomes a cause of silent pain and suffering, often leading children to mask their feelings of sadness or anger in order to fit in. Pretending to be happy, however, doesn’t lead to actual happiness. In fact, it tends to have the opposite effect. So why are kids set on portraying themselves as happy? Why does having a diagnosable medical condition lead a child to be outcast? The answer is that our country has a mental health stigma. We treat mental health disorders as something that can be “gotten over,” when in reality these conditions are no different than physical ailments. So how can you help lift the stigma? Do not judge or put down others for having anxiety, depression, or another mental disorder. Do not make people feel less than or different. Instead, talk openly about mental health. The more “normal” we can make these medical conditions feel, the better off everybody will be. Model this behavior for your children so they do the same. After all, they are the future. We are obviously making leaps and bounds as a society to be more accepting of others, and driving that in children will only have positive benefits for everybody.

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SELF CARE IDEAS FOR KIDS: TRY SOME OF THESE FUN IDEAS TO ENCOURAGE SELF-CARE AT A YOUNG AGE!

-Exercise -Imaginative play -Board games -Quality time with family and friends -Journaling -Physical careâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;painting nails, getting a haircut, brushing your hair, etc. -Cook together -Watch a favorite movie -Dance -Go outside (try a bike ride or hike!) -Meditate -Laugh and be silly -Go on an outing -Indulge in a special treat -Schedule time to spend with friends or just talk on the phone -Get plenty of rest and sleep -Complete a puzzle -Play a game by yourself like solitaire -Build forts -Play tag -Host a party or get together -Craft something -Read a good book -Get out of town -Explore new places -Pick up a new hobby (learning new skills boosts self confidence!) -Practice Yoga -Buy yourself a new treat

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WHAT FACTORS MAKE KIDS MORE SUSCEPTIBLE TO MENTAL ILLNESS: -Genetic history of mental illness -Environmental factors that cause stress, etc. -Being male -Age 6-8 -Non-Hispanic white children -Living in an English speaking household -Living in a household that is at less than 100% of the federal poverty level

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HOLIDAY FUN

Turkey Day GAMES  BY NORA HESTON

Thanksgiving is a time to be thankful for family, friends, and food . Make the most of Thanksgiving Day by maximizing family fun time with these themed games.

PLAY BALL

It’s fun to sit around and watch football all day. Try breaking it up by starting your own game during halftime. Play a game of flag football or two-hand touch with everyone before dinner. Make it extra fun by giving a reward to the winning team.

GET FIT

There’s no shortage of fun runs hosted on Thanksgiving Day. Often dubbed the Turkey Trot, it’s a great way to get active before consuming copious amounts of turkey and pumpkin pie. Check your local listings for one near you. Modesto will play host at the Tuolumne Trail Nov. 22.

SAY THANKS Before grubbing, go around the table and have everyone share what they are thankful for. The rule is that everyone has to participate before they dig in—no matter how young or old. And definitely make sure you don’t skip the kids’ table for this one!

HOST YOUR OWN PARADE The Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade is a holiday staple. You likely catch the highlights as you’re making dinner in the kitchen. How about hosting your own fabulous parade? Get the whole family—or even the whole neighborhood—involved. How do you make it happen? Pick up cool balloons or use kites instead and parade around the neighborhood before dinner.

TURKEY TAG

Here’s a neat twist on a favorite, and it’s perfect for little kids. Make “turkey clothespins” (it’s super easy just glue a couple googly eyes, a beak, and a gobbler onto a painted clothespin). Then, give each child three to start. Kids put the clothespins anywhere on them and the goal is to remove clothespins from the other players. The last kid standing with at least one pin on wins! Alternate Ending: Give it a time limit and whoever has the most at the end is the winner.

GO OLD SCHOOL

Make it a game night. After dinner pull out favorites from the closet and have a tournament. Every team gets points for winning games, and at the end the player with the most points gets an extra slice of pie.

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NOV

CALENDAR

DEC 2018

MOSCOW BALLET’S GREAT RUSSIAN NUTCRACKER

NOV. 2

A Christmas tradition for many, Moscow Ballet’s Great Russian Nutcracker delivers their thrilling take on a timeless tale. Marvel at up to 40 Russian dancers, falling snow effects, costumes that were handmade in Russia, and more! Bursting with color and breathtaking performances, this show will be fun for the whole family, and an experience you won’t want to miss. Get your tickets now and kick off the holiday season with a night you won’t soon forget! Bob Hope Theatre, 242

E. Main St., Stockton, (209) 373-1400, StocktonLive.com

STOCKTON HEAT HOCKEY

NOV. 3, 9, 16, 25, 30 DEC. 1, 7, 8, 15, 19, 31

Grab a soda and a seat glassside, it’s time to hit the ice with the Stockton Heat! This hockey season is bound to burn away those winter blues as you and your family

get fired up with the crowd at the Stockton Arena! Whether your family is a fan of the team or just there for an evening of family-fun, be sure to head out for the Stockton Heat’s themed nights, including Stockton Heat Hockey Fights Cancer on the 3rd. Stockton Arena, 248 W. Fremont St., Stockton, (209) 3731400, StocktonLive.com

PUNKIN’ CHUNKIN AT THE WOW MUSEUM

NOV. 3

You’d be out of your gourd to miss this event! Gather up all your Halloween pumpkins and bring them to the museum for a thrilling send off. Visitors can load their decorated and carved pumpkins into the museum’s trebuchets and catapult them down Sacramento Street for just $1 per launch. If you don’t have any pumpkins, no worries – you can purchase some for $2 apiece! All visitors must also pay general admission into the museum. WOW Science Museum, 2 N. Sacramento St., Lodi, (209) 3680969, WowScienceMuseum.org

SECOND SATURDAYS AT THE HAGGIN MUSEUM

NOV. 10, DEC. 8

Dive into art and history by getting hands-on! Families

with children ages 5 – 12 are invited to the Haggin Museum on the second Saturday of the month to partake in events that complement current exhibitions. In November, get inspired by photography at the Snap to It event, and build a pinhole camera. And in December, kids can make their own Victorian handkerchief dolls at All Dolled Up. All materials are provided, and no reservations are required. The Haggin Museum, 1201 N. Pershing Ave., Stockton, (209) 940-6300, HagginMuseum.org

LINCOLN CENTER’S CHRISTMAS FAIRE

NOV. 11

Delight in the spirit of Christmas at Lincoln Center’s Christmas Faire! Introduce the little ones to Santa Claus and his live reindeer, have professional family photos taken by the Christmas tree, and get some Christmas shopping done by taking advantage of Lincoln Center’s shops’ special promotions and sales! With a Snow Village and live holiday music to boot, it’s the perfect family event to attend this holiday season and will definitely award you some parental-bragging rights well into the new year! Lincoln Center, 374 Lincoln Center, Stockton, (209) 477-4868, LincolnCenterShops.com

DISNEY JR. DANCE PARTY

NOV. 16

Get ready to dance and sing with all your Disney Jr. favorites! Mickey,

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MARINA WEST YACHT CLUB’S LIGHTED BOAT PARADE

DEC. 1

Bundle up in your favorite coat, grab a cup of hot cocoa, and bring the family out to witness one of Stockton’s most beautiful annual traditions, the Lighted Boat Parade! Head to the downtown waterfront (some of the best locations are on the north shore behind Banner Island Pall Park, the Stockton Marina, and Weber Point) to see a sparkling parade of boats strung with glittering Christmas lights! The parade will begin at 5 PM and will reach the downtown Stockton Marina around 6 PM. Weber Point Events Center, 221 N. Center St., Stockton, (209) 937-8206

ZOO LIGHTS

DEC. 7, 8, 9, 14, 15, 16

Minnie, Goofy, Vampirina, Elena of Avalor, and so many more will be making live appearances – and we haven’t even mentioned the magical onscreen moments you’ll get to share with other beloved characters! Doors for this vibrantly colored, high energy night of fun open at 5 PM. Get your tickets now so you don’t miss out on seeing these characters show off their moves! Bob Hope Theatre, 242 E. Main

Looking for Santa? You can find him at Micke Grove Zoo this year! Kids can tell Santa what they want for Christmas, get a picture with him, and then indulge in a friendly snowball fight and other snow games in the Faux Snow Play Dome. There will also be crafts, hot beverages, a raffle, plus other fun activities, and all under the zoo’s festive twinkle lights. Admission is required, but members will receive a discount. Micke Grove Zoo, 11793 N.

St., Stockton, (209) 373-1400, StocktonLive.com

ANNUAL TROUT BOUT

NOV. 17

Micke Grove Rd., Lodi, (209) 331-2010, MGZoo.com

Calling all fishermen of San Joaquin, cast your line and claim your prize at the 34th Annual Trout Bout! With over 2,500 lbs of Trout planted in Oak Grove’s 10-acre lake prior to the tournament, reel in as many Rainbow Trout as your fishing pole can handle as you compete for prizes and bragging-rights! Kids age 15 and under fish free at this event, so there’s no better way to bond with the family than at this fun-filled, friendly competition. Prizes will be awarded in youth and adult categories. Event begins bright and early at 6:15 AM and ends at 12:30 PM. Oak Grove

A CHRISTMAS STORY

DEC. 9

Anyone who has ever known the struggle of worrying that Santa won’t bring you what you want for Christmas should enjoy this classic film! Join Friends of the Fox as they screen A Christmas Story, which has been charming audiences since the early 80s. The show starts at 2PM, but arrive early to mix, mingle, appreciate the stunning sights of the Bob Hope Theatre, and listen to a performance of Christmas songs on the beautiful theater organ. Bob Hope Theatre,

Regional Park, 4520 W. 8 Mile Rd., Stockton, (209) 331-2050

FESTIVAL OF TREES

242 E. Main St., Stockton, (209) 373-1400, FoxFriends.org

DEC. 1, 2

Revel in the wonder and sparkle of Christmas lights! Join the San Joaquin County Historical Museum for this unique Christmas celebration with more than 60 decorated trees, entertainment, children’s activities and make-and-take crafts, Santa visits, rides on a mule-driven wagon, historical exhibits and food available for purchase. The event begins at 10 AM and ends at 4 PM. Admission is $10 for adults, $2 for children aged 2-12. Children under are 2 free. Pre-purchased tickets include free parking in Micke Grove Park, so be sure to grab yours in advance! San Joaquin County

PEPPA PIG’S SURPRISE! AT THE BOB HOPE THEATRE

DEC. 16

Peppa Pig Live! is coming to town with a fun filled show for the whole family! The stars of Peppa Pig will take the stage as life size puppets and costume characters, bringing your child’s beloved cartoon to life right before your eyes. See Peppa, George, Mummy Pig, Daddy Pig, and more as they sing and dance in this live adventure! Buy your tickets online or at the Stockton Arena box office. Bob Hope

Historical Museum, 11793 Micke Grove Rd., Lodi, (209) 331-2055, SanJoaquinHistory.org

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Theatre, 242 E. Main St., Stockton, (209) 373-1400, StocktonLive.com

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LAST word

LIFE Changes  BY NORA HESTON

I never imagined the day I would become a single mom. It just didn’t feel in the cards for me. But somehow, some way I found myself to this life anyway. The truth is I fully expected it to be hard. Downright difficult even. I was so used to having a live-in support system that I couldn’t imagine doing the discipline, the arguments, and the dayto-day doldrums alone. I felt that I had failed, as a wife and even a mother, for letting this happen. What I learned is it isn’t all bad. I hadn’t failed anybody. It takes some adjusting, and the days a second voice isn’t there to reassure my son I indeed am a good mother when he insists that I’m not are the hardest, but in the end I’m better for it. And amazingly, I think so is he. It’s a weird thing when responsibility is thrust onto your shoulders. As a mother, we’re not allowed to crumble under pressure. Instead, we rise. And it’s amazing just how high we can rise when given the opportunity. It’s still not easy, but in some ways, it’s not so bad either. I’m not going it alone, despite what connotations the title “Single Mom” seems to hold. In a weird way, in learning how to juggle it all during the day-to-day, I’ve found a strength I didn’t have before— one I’m demonstrating to my son. And a

tribe more amazing than I ever knew I could have. In hard times we find new places to seek support, we create lives that are more meaningful, and we learn to embrace the smallest victories. There will always be days where that extra voice reassuring me I’m doing the right thing will be missed. When having a second set of hands on a

beach vacation may sound like absolute heaven. But those are the small, fleeting moments that will always pass. In the end, I know this new dynamic has changed my relationship with my son for the better. We’ve always been a team, but today it is even more so. I’m working toward building the best life for us—it’ll always be him and me against the world.

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