Peppy Preppies

FEEL THE BURN!

JENNY SCHATZLE SAYS NOBODY IS TOO TIRED, TOO OLD OR TOO OUT OF SHAPE TO SQUAT, CRUNCH, LUNGE AND lift 20 MINUTES A DAY P.13

IN THE GARDEN

YOU CAN COMBAT CREEPY CRAWLERS, FLYING WHITE THINGS, CHOMPING CHICKLETS AND OTHER ANNOYING CRITTERS WITH STUFF LIKE FISH & POOP P.8

HOUSE HUNTERS TURN TO PAGE 31

SANTA BARBARA

once a week from pier to peak

VO L U M E 2 | I S S U E 1 3 | A P R I L 5 – 1 2 | 2 0 1 3

W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

peppy preppies

by Matt Mazza, IV

On Women’s Athletic Wear and East Coast Prepdom

I

MATT DOFFS HIS YOGA PANTS, SQUEEZES INTO HIS NANTUCKET CLAM DIGGERS AND DIVES INTO TJ AND KELLY GAMBLE’S WORLD OF PREP THE BEER GUY PAGE 9

PRESIDIOSPORTS PAGE 16

HANDSFULLSB.com PAGE 28

’m not exactly what you’d call an east coast “preppy” guy. In fact, my feeling is that I’m about as far from that description as my Birkenstocks are from their Wingtips. (Do the preppies actually wear Wingtips? Forget it.)

I grew up in San Francisco and Sonoma County (definitely not preppy), got an undergraduate degree from UCSB (also not preppy) and a graduate degree from Cal (not preppy, at least where I hung out in Berkeley), and now live back in SB again (still not preppy, again, at least where I hang out). We did a number of years in Marin County and actually met quite a few preppy east coasters – most of whom worked in finance and had moved to SF and environs to purportedly escape NY and relax a bit – but that’s about as close as I’ve ever come to that whole scene.

Consistently, I’m also not exactly what you’d call an expert on women’s athletic wear. It’s just not something to which I’ve paid a huge amount of attention over the course of my ...continued p.14

LOVEMIKANA.com PAGE 29

2 | APRIL

5 – 1 2 | 2 0 1 3

W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

AMAZING SAVINGS DURING MARCH AND APRIL

ALOHA DAYS WITH

Travel Makua Beach, Kaua’i

Exciting Aloha Days savings include:

$100 off per booking1

plus

Free car rental up to 5 days2

plus

FEATURED OFFER HAWAI’I, THE BIG ISLAND Sheraton Kona Resort & Spa at Keauhou Bay

5 nights from $537 per person, land only Travel: April 15 – May 26, July 1– October 6 and October 14 – December 21, 2013 Includes: • 5 nights Mountain View accommodations • All hotel taxes 6 • Kids 17 & younger stay FREE 5

$50

activity voucher 3

you could also receive a

Free luggage scale 4

when you pre-book $150 or more in Pleasant activities with your AAA Travel Agent

Sheraton Kona Resort & Spa at Keauhou Bay

Book now, offer only valid March 1 through April 30, 2013!

AAA TRAVEL SANTA BARBARA

805-898-2870 3712 State Street, Santa Barbara, Ca 93105

$100 Aloha Days offer applies to new bookings for Hawai’i at select hotels made March 1-April 30, 2013 for travel March 1-December 15, 2013. Minimum 5-night hotel accommodations and roundtrip airfare required. Discount is per booking and taken at time of booking.

2 Complimentary economy Hertz Car Rental valid for travel March 21-December 15, 2013. Complimentary car valid for a maximum of 5 days. Must be booked in connection with select five-night air-inclusive Pleasant Holidays hotel package. Valid for bookings made March 1-April 30, 2013.

3 Activity credit does not apply to air/car-only bookings. Valid on new Pleasant Holidays Activities bookings.

4 Limit one luggage scale per qualified booking while supplies last (ARV $10). Must book through a AAA Travel Agent between March 1-April 30, 2013 to receive free luggage scale. Luggage scale will be provided with final travel documents. Free $50 activity voucher may be used to meet $150 minimum activity booking requirement.

5 $537 rate quoted is per person land only based on double occupancy for travel April 15th – May 26th, July 1st – October 6th and October 14 through December 21, 2013. Rates, terms, conditions, availability and itinerary are subject to change without notice. Certain restrictions may apply. Rates shown includes government taxes and fees.

Not transferable or combinable with other offers, except other Pleasant Holidays’ offers. Final payment must be made at time of booking. Certain restrictions may apply. AAA members must make advance reservations through AAA Travel to obtain Member Benefits and savings.

1

8 0 5 . 8 4 5 .1 6 7 3 | 1 3 3 E A S T D E L A G U E R R A S T R E E T | N O.1 8 2 | S A N TA B A R B A R A

A P R I L 5 – 1 2 | 2 0 1 3 |

Exceeding expectations in your neighborhood

30 Year Fixed, NO Points, 3.875% ( 3.904% APR), $1,500,0001 New Payment: Payments 1-360: $7,053 30 Year Fixed, NO Points, 3.75% (3.86% APR), $417,0002 New Payment: Payments 1-360: $1,931

AAAA BBBBB | VP, Senior Loan Officer

805.452.8393 | ablack@bankofmanhattan.com Payment examples do not include taxes and insurance; actual payment will be greater. Example #1 assumes a 20% down payment loan of $1,500,000 loan amount financed at the rate, APR, term noted above at maximum 80% loan-to-value, 34% DTI, with a 740 credit score and 1 year prepayment penalty may apply. Example #2 assumes a 20% down payment purchase or refinance loan of $417,000 loan amount financed at the rate, APR, term noted above at maximum 75% loan-to-value, 45% DTI, with a 740 credit score and no prepayment penalty. Nothing herein is or should be interpreted as a commitment to lend.

All loans are subject to credit and property approval. Rate and Annual Percentage Rate (APR) stated above are as of 4/1/2013. The payments noted above are principal and interest payment. Terms may vary, conditions and restrictions apply. Actual rate for the loan is determined at time of rate lock based upon program and terms requested. Rates and terms are subject to change without notice. NMLS# 401422 Š2013 Bank of Manhattan, N.A

3

4 | APRIL

5 – 1 2 | 2 0 1 3

W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

Content

COVER P.5 P.6 P.7 P.8 P.9 P.10 Coast 2 Coast Collection P.12 P.13 P.16 P.18 MASSAGES P.22 FACIALS WAXING P.23 BODY TREATMENTS P.25 P.27 P.28 P.29 P.30

Mazza’s Missive – Matt’s a wicked cool cross-dressing preppy athlete from the east coast. Great.

Ed’s Take – Third generation Santa Barbarian and Friend of Goleta Beach Ed de la Torre raises concerns about the Santa Barbara County Board of Supervisors’ decision to proceed with Goleta Beach 2.0. Is it too much?

I t’s Crime Time – April’s Fools beat each other with guitar necks and panhandle with machetes on State Street, attack police and rip spouses’ eyeballs out. And death threats are funny too!

Letters to the Editor – Yeah sure, the Sentinel is a good read, but it could really use some STAPLES! according to Simone Woodcock; Elsa Lambert sets the record straight (again) and threatens Matt (maybe); Jeff Harding responds to criticism of his piece on Chavismo and to praise of his earlier piece on big bad banks.

In the Garden with Mr. Greenjeans – Randy goes orgasmic over organic fixes to common garden challenges. Wonder how that affects his soil?

Featuring Mariposa for all the Celebrations in Life!

The Beer Guy – Zach Rosen hits the Craft Brewers Conference in Washington, D.C. and lives to tell about it. Did it have a nice mouth-feel, Zach?

E ight Days A Week – There’s a new guy writing Eight Days and he’s good. Too good. Is any of this stuff actually happening around town this week or did Jeremy Harbin make it all up? Better send us your favorite happenings around town to keep him honest.

La Arcada Courtyard 1114 State Street, Suite 10 ~ Santa Barbara, CA 93101 Phone: 805.845.7888 ~ www.C2Ccollection.com Store Hours: Mon-Sat 10am-6pm & Sunday Noon-5pm

S anta Barbara View – Sharon Byrne talks criminal justice (and her ex in Texas); Loretta Redd peeks inside the non-profit world’s tent and doesn’t always like what she sees; Ray Estrada brings news of local shoe juggernaut Deckers Outdoor Corporation’s exciting recent acquisition of Hoka One One.

Pump Yourself – The immortal Jenny Schatzle is in the Sentinel! Do her new weekly workouts and see the magnificent results. (Thanks Jenny, great to see you in… finally.

Looking forward to more from you.)

Presidio Sports – SBART Athletes of the Week; All City Boys Soccer; and Barry Punzal’s weekend sports calendar. Get some.

Dust & Cover – Jeremy Harbin goes two-for-two with a terrific piece on musician Scott James. (Right on, Jeremy, between this and Eight Days you may have actually found yourself a real job. Sort of.)

Mad Science – Rachelle Oldmixon is on a month-long tear! This week she gives us a few of her favorite things up at UCSB. (Spoiler alert: It’s not just Arts & Lectures.)

Man About Town – Tweens and octogenarians? That’s great Mark, thanks buddy.

Commercial Corner – Commercial real estate gurus Austin Herlihy and Chris Parker put together a nice piece on trends in office design. They actually went out and talked to people and everything this week. (Great work guys, seriously, enjoyed it.)

Keepin’ It Reel – Jim Luksic’s reviews are “as big as Kim Kardashian’s backside” and “take implausibility to new heights.” That’s great, Jim. Wonderful.

santa barbara’s premier

ou Have Your Hands Full – Mara Peters can’t get her writing done on a Northern Y California farm or anywhere else. (Come on, Mara, just put the kids in front of the television for 6 or 8 hours a day. You’ll be fine. That’s what we do.)

LOVEmikana – Backyard chickens and Yummy Mummy Kitchen cookbook? (Sounds like EIC Matt Mazza’s been writing for LOVEmikana.) The LM Weekend Guide gets you moving too.

Call Us

www.FloatLuxurySpa.com 18 East Canon Perdido Santa Barbara (805) 845-7777

Residential Real Estate – Michael Calcagno is moving forward and upward with Justin Kellenberger. (Don’t worry, it’s not what you think.) And check out the Sentinel’s Open House Guide too!

8 0 5 . 8 4 5 .1 6 7 3 | 1 3 3 E A S T D E L A G U E R R A S T R E E T | N O.1 8 2 | S A N TA B A R B A R A

Edstake

by Ed de la Torre - Friends of Goleta Beach Park

The Taking of Goleta Beach Park

G

oleta Beach Park is the crown jewel of the Santa Barbara County park system.

Easily accessible and visited by approximately 1.5 million visitors each year, it offers extensive free parking, beautiful grassy family picnic areas and multiple recreational facilities for year-round enjoyment. When El Nino storms created strong wave action that threatened to destroy the beach, the County Parks Department took decisive action, went to the California Coastal Commission (CCC), received emergency permits and built a rock barrier that saved the beach from further destruction. This barrier has since been buried under about five feet of sand and dirt and remains in place, ready to defend the park again should another El Nino-fueled storm ravage the coast line.

Even though the CCC granted the original permits for the protective barrier, they are mandating a philosophy called “Managed Retreat,” which dictates there be no structural protections to save our park during severe winter storms. To this end, the Santa Barbara County Board of Supervisors is pushing forward with a plan known as Goleta Beach 2.0, which would remove buried rock backstops that have been in place for years.

The Santa Barbara County Board of Supervisors is basing its decision on the conclusions pertaining to a worst case scenario: the 100-year sea level rise projection put forth in the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) annual report of 2007 and Gov. Schwarzenegger’s Executive Order S-13 that orders coastal communities to plan for this occurrence. Additionally, the CCC is threatening a $375,000 fine should the now-expired emergency-permitted protective structure not be removed.

The Friends of Goleta Beach Park do not support local officials spending millions of dollars to undo protective measures already in place. Claims that this protection causes environmental damage – site specific to Goleta Beach Park – are undocumented and unsubstantiated. Additionally, such protective structures that safeguard coastal infrastructure are allowed under the California Coastal Act, Section 30235, and the Santa Barbara County Certified Local Coastal Plan, Policy 3-2. The estimated cost of Goleta Beach 2.0 is $3.5 million. This will be in addition to nearly $10 million already

A P R I L 5 – 1 2 | 2 0 1 3 |

5

spent during the last decade.

Indeed, the selective determination that the buried rock protective wall is a hazard, while additional protective areas to be built further east in the park are not, and that it is acceptable to protect some areas built but not others, seems wholly without merit.

The following is an overview of the major points contained in Goleta Beach 2.0: 1. Remove 950 feet of buried protective structures at the western end of the park, seaward of the grass and turf that will place 1.13 acres (25%) of parkland at risk of storm erosion, as well as put additional areas further inland at risk.

2. Remove 250 feet of protection at the far west end parking lot that protects the UCSB bluff and sewer lift station.

3. Eliminate 154 west-end parking spaces in Lots 6 & 7: 20% of the total existing spaces in the park. This area would be replaced with sand and cobble rock and be subject to “Managed Retreat” along with grass and turf due to the absence of structural protection. The loss of on-site parking may be mitigated by off-site parking serviced by a shuttle service – not a very appealing solution to families with children, coolers, umbrellas and more trying to use the park.

4. Relocate recycled water line, a pressurized sewer line, and a high-pressure natural gas line plus several other utility cables landward of the erosion process zone and protected by a compact earth berm constructed over the utility corridor.

5. Provide a costly (est. $3,000/foot) geo-textile sandbag berm from the west side of the Beachside Bar & Café to protect that parking lot and a Goleta Sanitary District cathodic protection vault.

6. Multiple additional recreational activities, such as kayak and surf board rental concession. These activities do not need Goleta Beach 2.0 to be initiated.

The Friends of Goleta Beach Park believe that our county supervisors should approve a plan that utilizes eco-friendly protective measures as safeguards against the known damages that future severe winter storms can cause. We urge that the facts, data, and publications contained in the science and data link of our website (http://www. friendsofgoletabeachpark.org) be studied. Access the images link to see what erosion damage occurred prior to protection being installed.

Next week, we’ll follow up with opinions and suggestions for alternatives to what we consider overly drastic measures and poor planning on the part of the Board of Supervisors.

JOIN OUR BIKE GANG! ATHLETIC CLUBS

Join in April and receive a FREE CRUISER or FIXIE BIKE! S A N TA B A R B A R A AT H L E T I C C L U B

520 CASTILLO STREET

SANTA BARBARA

(805) 966-6147

C AT H E D R A L O A K S AT H L E T I C C L U B

5800 CATHEDRAL OAKS ROAD

GOLETA

(805) 964-7762

Offer based on an annual membership agreement with a membership fee paid during registration. Some restrictions apply. Cannot be used in conjunction with other promotional offers. Offer is limited to first 100 participants and expires April 30th.

6 | APRIL

5 – 1 2 | 2 0 1 3

W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

It'sCrimetime...

...with the SBPD

A variety of crimes are committed every day in Santa Barbara; most of these crimes are petty but they do offer a window into if not the soul of the perpetrator, at least his or her thought process. Our following (and totally unsolicited) thoughts, observations, and comments are put forth for your consideration.

April’s Fools

Transient Tunes Guitar By Repeatedly Smashing It On Another Transient’s Head

CRIME: A drunken 32-year-old mansient from Santa Cruz County became frustrated when another homeless man, a 28-year-old from Ventura, “touched his belongings.” So the former pulled a wooden guitar neck out of his backpack and beat the latter over the head with it “5 – 8 times.” The aggressor was arrested while trying to leave the area for assault with a deadly weapon; the aggressee was taken to Cottage Hospital and treated for lots of lacerations on his head. Wonder if he had health insurance.

OBSERVATIONS: We know a few Santa Cruz hippies, and always thought they strummed their guitars and smoked grass in drum circles while spreading peace and love and harmony. We had no idea that they also used guitars as deadly weapons to assault people. Trippy.

COMMENTS: Imagine that, two aggressive drunk mansients beating each other senseless and causing a scene on State Street. When did this type of behavior start happening in our tony town? Gee whiz. Oh... sorry. We called them transients. We know, we’re the insensitive bad guys without compassion here. Blame us.

Aggressive Transient Brandishes Machete; Takes State Street Panhandling to New Level

CRIME: A 23-year-old mansient from North Carolina was cited for aggressive panhandling and related charges after he was observed by SBPD “tossing his machete into the air while stating to passersby, ‘Give me your [expletive] money.’” (There’s a free Sentinel for anybody who can figure out the missing word there.) It did not appear that anyone was overtly threatened with the machete but, shockingly, no passersby remained at the scene to be interviewed by officers.

OBSERVATIONS: Hmmmm. Wonder why no women and children would stay at the scene to be interviewed by the police after being accosted by a young man with a

Publisher • Tim Buckley | Editor-in-Chief • Matt Mazza Design/Production • Trent Watanabe Contributing Partners Opinion • sbview.com Sports • Presidiosports.com Santa Barbara Skinny • LoveMikana.com

Columnists

Goleta Girl • Jana Mackin | She Has Her Hands Full • Mara Peters Plan B • Briana Westmacott | The Dish • Wendy Jenson Journal Jim • James Buckley | Real Estate • Michael Calcagno Commercial Corner • Austin Herlihy | The Weekly Capitalist • Jeff Harding Man About Town • Mark Leisure | In The Garden • Randy Arnowitz The Beer Guy • Zach Rosen | The Mindful Word • Diana M. Raab Girl About Town • Julie Bifano | Dust & Cover • Jeremy Harbin Mad Science • Rachelle Oldmixon | Keepin’ It Reel • Jim Luksic

Advertising/Sales

Tanis Nelson 805.689.0304 • tanis@santabarbarasentinel.com Sue Brooks 805.455.9116 • sue@santabarbarasentinel.com Published by SB Sentinel, LLC. PRINTED BY NPCP INC., SANTA BARBARA, CA Santa Barbara Sentinel is compiled every Friday

133 EAST DE LA GUERRA STREET, #182, Santa Barbara 93101 How to reach us: 805.845.1673 • E-MAIL: matt@santabarbarasentinel.com

machete in broad daylight on a Monday morning at 10am on State Street? Puzzling.

COMMENTS: Imagine that, an aggressive panhandler demanding money on State while displaying overtly threatening behavior. When did this type of conduct start happening in our tony town? Gee whiz. Oh... sorry. We called them transients again. We know, we’re (still) the insensitive bad guys without compassion here. Blame us.

Woman Doesn’t Like the Way Husband Stares; Attempts to Rip His Eyeballs Out

CRIME: A 48-year-old Santa Barbara woman “couldn’t stand” the way her husband was looking at her, so she slapped him 4-5 times on either side of his head and, according to her, attempted to “rip his glasses off of his face.” She admitted to “accidentally poking him in the eye” in the process, and was arrested for battery.

OBSERVATIONS: Funny, the husband had a little different recollection of the scene.

She “clawed my face,” he said, “it felt like she was trying to rip my eyeballs out. It was extremely painful.” Wonder who’s telling the truth.

COMMENTS: So much for suggestive bedroom eyes – sounds like she really wasn’t in the mood. You know what they say: Hell hath no fury…

Dumb and Dumber

CRIME: A 25-year-old Redlands man attempted to give his drunken friend from Yucaipa CPR after he passed out in the front of a State Street club. Amazingly, it worked. Then they caused a disturbance and ran away. SBPD was called – remember, there had been what appeared to be a serious medical emergency – and the two men were found nearby. The formerly passed out Yucaipa man refused to follow directions and then began “swinging his arms around” and trying to hit officers. He was arrested for public intoxication and resisting an officer.

OBSERVATIONS: But just as Dumb and Dumber’s Jeff Daniels would have done for his Jim Carrey, the Redlands man too became aggressive with SBPD, charging officers repeatedly. He was eventually struck with a baton and arrested for resisting as well. And he seemed like such a Good Samaritan with the whole drunken CPR attempt. Oh well.

COMMENTS: First of all, the responsible investigative journalist in us must ask the obvious: Was it definitely CPR or just aggravated man-on-man dry humping with mouth-tomouth in the front of a bar? No wonder the poor kid came to so quick. (“Ah, Timmy, can you please get the [expletive] off me, I just had one Keystone Ice too many, I’m not dying of a heart attack here.”) And for the record, if any of us at the Sentinel had ever attempted to give an intoxicated friend CPR (we haven’t), it certainly wouldn’t have been in public.

Where in the hell is Yucaipa, anyway? Redlands? Anybody? Forget it, just go back.

Man Stalks Woman and Threatens Her Life, Also Finds it Hilarious!

CRIME: A (deranged) young man from Santa Barbara was found hiding in a former flame’s garage with a heroin pipe. He was arrested for all sorts of crimes.

OBSERVATIONS: Turns out that the 25-year-old had attempted to start a “romantic relationship” with the young woman back in early 2012 but she had rejected him. He tenaciously continued his pursuit – you know, a little aggressive courting – eventually sending her messages that he would “cut her to pieces.” (We’re no Giacomo Casanova, but this is likely not exactly the best approach.) She understandably became a bit nervous, and called the kid’s mom in an effort to make him stop, which he did. But last week, it was discovered that he had been in her bedroom and was seen on the property a couple times… before he was found in the garage with the smack pipe. He readily admitted stalking the woman, and “laughed about the death threats.” Whoa.

COMMENTS: We imagine that the exchange in the garage went something like this: SBPD: Sir, please come out from behind the workbench.

DERANGED LUNATIC: [Nothing. Silence.]

SBPD: Uh, Sir, we see your huge heroin pipe. It’s sticking out from behind that old toaster. And we can see your feet.

DERANGED LUNATIC: Hahahahaha, you got me guys. I thought you couldn’t see me.

SBPD: Well, we could. It smells funny in here. Have you been smoking heroin in the garage?

DERANGED LUNATIC: Hahahahahaha, you got me guys. Yep, been smoking the shit out of it.

SBPD: And stalking? Have you been stalking the young woman who lives here?

DERANGED LUNATIC: Hahahahahahaha, yep. Got me again.

SBPD: And threatening to cut her up into little pieces? That you too?

DERANGED LUNATIC: Hahahahahahaha, that’s me too. I thought she’d get a kick out of that and then we could, like, I don’t know, go get some ice cream together or see a movie or whatever.

SBPD: Sir, you’ll have to come with us.

DERANGED LUNATIC: HAHAHA! Are we going to get some ice cream?

Something like that.

Be good out there this week folks.

8 0 5 . 8 4 5 .1 6 7 3 | 1 3 3 E A S T D E L A G U E R R A S T R E E T | N O.1 8 2 | S A N TA B A R B A R A

Letters

Although you might not believe it, we actually want to hear from you. So if you have something you think we should know about or you see something we've said that you think is cretinous (or perspicacious, to be fair), then let us know. There's no limit on words or subject matter, so go ahead and let it rip to: Santa Barbara Sentinel, Letters to the Editor, 133 East De La Guerra Street, No. 182, Santa Barbara, California 93101. You can also leap into the 21st century and email us at letters@santabarbarasentinel.com.

A P R I L 5 – 1 2 | 2 0 1 3 |

Over $1 Billion in Sales!

The Great Staple Debate

D

ear Mr. Mazza – It is with great pleasure that I devour, so to speak, the Sentinel; it is well written, informative and addresses many topics that the other two major local publications don’t.

However, I think your paper would gain a lot by adding one simple feature: STAPLES! It is quite aggravating to keep the pages together when they fly in all directions. Years ago I suggested the same thing to the other free weekly, for which they thanked me and agreed that it helps a lot.

Please keep the Sentinel going. It is a breath of fresh air.

Simone Woodcock Santa Barbara (Editor’s Note: Thanks for the kind words, Simone. I’m glad you like the paper and we will indeed keep it going. Unfortunately, we will not be keeping it going with STAPLES! anytime soon. Stapling – or saddle-stitching, as people in the know might say (I’m not one of them, I had to ask) – is actually pretty expensive and would likely lead to the extrication of lots of that content you seem to like so much. Or we’d have to jack our (super-competitive) ad rates through the roof, and we just don’t want to do that. We still actually think we are building something that will be around for the long term and, right now, staples aren’t part of the budget.

Dare to dream.

Wait a second, I have an idea. Hey Tim, can we hire an intern to staple all 12,000 Sentinels each week? I’m thinking an engineer of some sort; maybe I will talk to Rachelle Oldmixon to see if she knows anybody in, say, the Mechanical Engineering department up at UCSB. Fingers crossed.

Either way, Simone, I do hope that you’ll keep reading, even if the pages do fly in all directions for the foreseeable future. Take good care. – MSM)

A Chimpanzee and An Orangutan Threaten an Editor Dear Mr. Mazza – Having sent The Council link to many people, I’ve been pleased to receive unanimous positive response – from a secondary class in Namibia to Noam Chomsky, Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream and a Harvard law professor. Feedback from students (worldwide) has been gratifying, many intrigued by Synesthesia and Progeria, explaining in detail how they would defend the human race. Different cultures, different perspectives.

What you have printed in the Sentinel

(for the second time) is incorrect and not the truth. What I sent you was NOT a “book pitch or something similar.” I made the conscious choice, Mr. Mazza, NOT to self-publish my story two years ago, NOT to sell books, but to have a website, free for everyone to read. Why was the link sent to you? For you to read a story, if you chose to, nothing more. No acknowledgement necessary.

Beware! People who offer you something with no ulterior motive, asking nothing in return, can be dangerous.

Elsa Lambert Carpinteria (Editor’s Note: Thanks Elsa, I won’t beat a dead horse here – anybody can feel free to look back at the past two issues to see how this all developed – and admit that I now have a better idea of why you sent me “a mysterious synopsis for your book.” (Or, ah, website, to ensure clarity.) I respect completely the quite altruistic idea of providing interesting content free of charge. In fact, I did just that myself when I blogged an extended family travel experience back in 2011 and 2012.

(I suppose some may argue that my blog wasn’t particularly interesting content, but I digress.) And the idea of different people with different perspectives resonates strongly.

So maybe we’re not so different, you and me.

Anyway, at this point, I’d be remiss not to have a closer look at The Council – my interest is indeed piqued. I’m no Noam Chomsky or Harvard law professor (I do have a law degree from Cal, not sure how that ranks relative to a secondary class in Namibia or Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream) but I might just enjoy the read anyway.

Thanks for the letter, Elsa, I think. I will be in touch after I’ve read The Council.

Can’t wait. – MSM)

Socialismo o Muerte!

While recently perusing the Sentinel, I was pleased to spot the column The Weekly Capitalist by Jeff Harding, and expected to find some discussion of economics therein. Instead I found a mean-spirited screed against the recently expired Commandante Chavez. (Vol. 2, Issue 10.)

Not a particular Chavez fan myself, what I found dismaying about Harding’s column was its lack of a coherent argument. There are lots of good economic arguments to make against Chavismo, but this column doesn’t make any of them. To wit: In his first sentence Harding makes a very emphatic point: “...Hugo Chavez is the man who almost single-handedly destroyed Venezuela.” So it was surprising ...continued p.15

Dan Encell is one of the few real estate agents in the world who has successfully closed over a billion dollars in residential sales. This tremendous achievement is a result of 24 years of creative marketing, extensive advertising, nationwide networking, unique deal making and problem solving abilities, and consistent hard work.

Advice you can rely on...

Results you can count on!

Put Dan’s 24 years of experience and success to work for you Call Dan Encell at 565-4896

Remember, it costs no more to work with the best (but it can cost you plenty if you don’t!)

Daniel Encell Director, Estate Division Prudential Fine Homes Call: (805) 565-4896 DanEncell@aol.com Visit: www.DanEncell.com

7

8 | APRIL

5 – 1 2 | 2 0 1 3

W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

In the Garden with

Don’t squash these guys. If they’re in your way, gently relocate them to a less traveled part of your garden.

Mr. Greenjeans

by Randy Arnowitz “Mr. Greenjeans,” as he is known around Santa

Barbara, is a gardener, horticulturist and writer. He particularly enjoys working with roses, orchids and sharing the day with his golden retriever Peaches, who faithfully accompanies him in the field. Contact him at greenjeansmr@gmail.com

Almost Organic: The Sequel Feeding with natural products keeps your garden’s immune system strong so it will naturally resist pests and disease.

S

ometimes when a client asks me a garden question – like what those crawly things on the rose bushes are, how come their citrus trees are turning yellow, or what those snowy, white flying pests hovering over the shrubs are – I have to decide how truthful to be. I must be tactful, avoid placing blame and most of all keep from sounding like an obnoxious garden know-it-all. However, I’ve discovered that there are situations where it is best to not be too forthcoming in order to spare a person some embarrassment.

To illustrate, in 1970 my brother graduated from Roxbury High School in Succasunna, New Jersey. Since there were a limited number of tickets available for each graduate, I stayed back at home to wait for our guests. You’re probably wondering what all this has to do with gardening but I’m getting to that.

Having arrived early, I entertained my Aunt Gert until the rest of the family got home. As we chatted, I was dumbstruck and admittedly slightly alarmed as she proceeded to nosh on the dry cat food that was up on the counter in a crystal, cut glass bowl. You might ask why the cat food was up on the counter to begin with or even why the heck we fed our kitty from an expensive cut glass bowl. Well, naturally, the food was up on the counter to keep my skunk and iguana from getting into it but no, I cannot tell you why we served our cat in such luxury.

Sometimes I am the bearer of less than encouraging news. “Yes, you are watering your citrus trees too often. Yes, your roses have aphids and yes, those are indeed, giant white flies on your hibiscus.” However, I’m glad that I can usually recommend a non-toxic, earth-friendly remedy for most garden problems.

Incidentally, although I did tell my

client that she was overwatering the heck out of her citrus trees I did not tell my Aunt Gert that she was nibbling on Little Friskies Seafood Sensations and not beer nuts.

Grass is Class Everyone loves the feel of cool grass under his or her bare feet. If you’ve kept some lawn in your garden to accommodate the kids and the dog, hopefully you’ve at least reduced the size of it to save on water and maintenance. To be green, give up a day at the gym and use an old-school, reel-type push mower to mow with. If you do have to use a gas powered one, there are mulching mowers that do not collect the cuttings in a bag, but instead chop them up finer and leave them in the lawn.

The cuttings dry, decompose and go back to nourish your lawn. In a way, you are recycling the lawn food that you’ve already put on the lawn. Even better, you are not tossing away all those sloppy cuttings into the landfill or trying to compost them – usually unsuccessfully.

Cutting your lawn slightly higher in the summer and lower in the winter saves water and makes your turf appear greener and healthier. Be sure to sharpen your mower blade regularly to avoid that gray, hazy look that the grass takes on from a dull, tearing blade.

Quit Buggin’ Me Got bugs in your garden? The last thing you want to do is grab a can of Raid and start blasting everything with it. Relax.

Take a deep breath and carefully identify your pest problem. If you’re not sure what you’ve got, take a picture and show it to your nurseryperson. Some common

Adding a small pond or water feature to your garden will attract frogs, toads and other “bug eaters.”

crawlies you’re likely to find in your garden now are: Aphids. Chances are that right around now, when your roses are looking so fine that you want to cry with joy and anticipation, the aphids have moved in and are sucking the juice out of the soonto-open flower buds. This time of year you may have green aphids or perhaps ones that are reddish in color. What to do? You can gently wash them off using your fingers and a soft spray nozzle on your hose. They brush right off. You may have to do this every few days until natural predators take over but it’s an easy, cheap and totally non-toxic solution. If you’re squeamish, you can spray with a diluted non-detergent dish soap (look up the exact recipe online) or Safer brand soap. Be careful if you opt for the Safer soap as it can, even on a warm day burn the tender, red foliage so read and follow the directions. Better to use this product after the rose leaves have toughened up and turned green.

Little green caterpillars. If you already have little round holes on your rose leaves and other tender plant foliage you

may have worms. If you look carefully, especially under the leaves, you will see them. Other telltale evidence will be the little poop pellets that they leave in their wake of destruction. Hand pick them or spray with a product containing Bt or Spinosad. Although both are safe and natural pesticides you should still use caution when applying.

Giant white fly. If you brush past your hibiscus bushes and a cloud of powdery white bugs fly into your face you probably have giant white flies. There are many safe suggestions online on how to get rid of them. I found everything from an Ivory Soap spray, to blasting them with the hose and applying neem oil. I personally would try all of them to see which one works best. Keep in mind you have to do it every few days to eradicate all of the stages of the pest. For good measure, put a few inches of worm castings around your affected plants and water it in. That’s worked for me.

Other suggestions: – Encourage and release beneficials.

Grow the types of plants that attract birds and beneficial insects to your garden.

– Don’t squash spiders. They’re good bugs and they eat bad bugs.

– Embrace diversity. Grow many types of plants and flowers in your garden. Leave a few weeds. Sometimes the bad bugs go to the weeds and ignore your cultivated plants.

– A water feature, small pond or fountain will attract frogs and toads, which will chow down on the bad bugs.

– Feed your plants with good, natural fertilizer. Fish emulsion is a good bet and it comes mixed with kelp, bat guano and other good stuff.

Randy’s Quick Pick

W

ant to learn about growing water-wise, edible plants for the Santa Barbara area? Local author Scott O’Bar has written a new book called Alternative Crops for Drylands: Proactively Adapting to Climate Change and Water Shortages. Mr. O’Bar will be speaking and signing his book at a presentation entitled “From Deserts to Desserts” on April 15th at 7:00pm at the Ayni Gallery. The gallery is located across the street from the Amtrak Station at 216 State Street, Santa Barbara. For more info contact: Info@AyniGallery.com

8 0 5 . 8 4 5 .1 6 7 3 | 1 3 3 E A S T D E L A G U E R R A S T R E E T | N O.1 8 2 | S A N TA B A R B A R A

by Zach Rosen

A P R I L 5 – 1 2 | 2 0 1 3 |

9

Taking off at the opening reception, held at Smithsonian Air and Space Museum.

At the Craft Brewers Conference: Part One Brewers Association founder Charlie Papazian enjoying the opening reception and beer.

T

he trip began with Teddy, a fine wine importer who recently expanded into introducing America to the German brews from Kulmbacher. Ted Vance of VanceErickson Wine Brokers was flying to Paris for wine. I was on the way to Washington, D.C. for beer.

We ran into each other at the terminal’s restaurant in the renovated Santa Barbara Airport. Over our meal we discussed the SB drinking scene and then boarded our flight to LAX. As the propellers spooled up the sun was finishing its set. We took off with the sky’s midnight blues blending into its ending oranges to form a kind of Neapolitan sunset sundae. It was with that magnificent sight (and a few Figueroa Mountain Hoppy Poppys at the airport bar) that I was ready for my adventure to begin at the Craft Brewers Conference.

Every year the beer industry meets at a different town for a four-day beer bonanza called the Craft Brewers Conference (CBC). This monstrous event is organized by the Brewers Association (BA), which represents the US craft beer industry both in the country and abroad.

This year’s CBC was held March 26-29 and had almost 7000 people from all aspects of the industry including brewers, beer importers, and even equipment and ingredient suppliers. These beer-minded individuals meet annually for a conference that is ripe with workshops, seminars and a full trade show that features everything a zymurgist (one who studies fermentation) could ever want.

And of course... there is beer.

Beers are donated from all around the country and some are made just for the conference itself. Each year the BA has local breweries make a Symposium Ale for the conference. This is a special beer that will only be made once and reflects the attitude of the host town’s brewing style.

Last year the brewers of San Diego made

Zach Rosen is a Certified Cicerone® and beer educator living in Santa Barbara. He uses his background in chemical engineering and the arts to seek out abstract expressions of beer and discover how beer pairs with life.

The Craft Brewers Conference lands in D.C.

a statement with their Symposium Pale Ale; a 10% ABV pale ale (normally this style is around 5% ABV) that was bursting out of the glass with dense grapefruit and pine aromatics. This behemoth told the drinker that this brew, by San Diego’s standards, is only a pale ale.

This year’s feature was called Beggars & Thieves (4.9% ABV) and was an “antiimperial rye lager.” The brew was supposed to be “for the people, by the people.” This crisp lager had a strong aroma of bread and spice (characteristic of rye grain) with a light malty taste and a bitterness that stuck around the palate. The delicate but developed flavors of the brew highlighted Washington, D.C.’s established yet still blossoming beer scene.

Beer Heaven: The Smithsonian The Craft Brewers Conference offers more than just stupendous brews; it has around-the-clock beer events at the city’s hottest beer spots as well. The star of these events is always the Welcome Reception and D.C. delivered with an extravaganza

of beer at the Smithsonian Air and Space Museum. The country’s best beer minds gathered among the machines that make man fly to reconnect with old friends, experience new flavors and dream up some new ones of their own. Dozens of brews were served and there were even beer and food pairing stations. My personal favorite combination was a pistachio gelato with a rye gose. This beer style is a sour beer brewed with coriander and salt that added a zesty snap to the gelato’s decadent, nutty flavors. If you want to try a local gose seek out Hollister Brewing’s award-winning Tiny Bubbles.

As memorable as the event was, the welcoming reception was just the beginning. The other after-hour events ranged from beer dinners to brewery tours and provided an opportunity for D.C. to show what makes its beer scene special.

The highlight event this year was the Festival De Cans. This exhibition of music and movies highlighted the different canned craft beers around the country. It was held at D.C.’s famed 9:30 Club and featured a dozen canned brews served alongside short films and vintage beer commercials. The grand finale was a performance by Brooklyn-based indie band, Escort.

Michael Jackson, Beer Hunter Of all the after-hour events there was one affair that was particularly special.

The world premiere of the documentary,

Beer Hunter: The Movie, was held at the restaurant and beer bar, Regional Food & Drink (RFD). This documentary featured the exploits of Michael Jackson, also known as The Beer Hunter. (No, I’m not talking about that Michael Jackson.)

As he would say, “I do not sing and dance.

At least not without a few beers.” This Jackson was the world’s most renowned beer and whiskey writer. Jackson’s writing has influenced every craft brewing pioneer, and his book, The World Guide to Beer, invented our modern concept of “beer style.”

The event was held on Jackson’s birthday, March 27. Attendees gathered in RFD’s back room and dined on pub grub and an impressive array of beers.

Many there were personal friends of Jackson and they shared “Michael stories” with laughter and a raised glass. Some tales told of Michael’s wit, some of his soft side, or even his playful side, but all of them told of the versatility of this visionary and his inherent brilliance. Even among all the joy it was still an emotional evening; if you didn’t get tears in your eyes at least once, then you were in the wrong room. Jackson died of Parkinson’s Disease in 2007 and the silent auction held at the event raised $2,300 for Parkinson’s research.

The film itself did a great job of highlighting the personality of this Beer Hunter and the inspiration he was to the community. The small group of roughly 75 beer-does (sounds like weirdos) represented a miniscule amount of the people Michael influenced but hopefully once this documentary is out, his words will continue to encourage new people to explore their world of beer. You can check out Jackson’s writing online at www. beerhunter.com or search Youtube for his brief series, The Beer Hunter, to see this man in action. It’s quite a sight.

But the Craft Brewers Conference wasn’t all just drinking great beer and eating spectacular foods. Tune in next week to hear about what I learned (and drank) at the conference, including the state of the beer industry, technological breakthroughs and emerging ingredients.

And of course more beer!

10 | A P R I L

5 – 1 2 | 2 0 1 3

W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

8•Days• a•Week We Ain’t Got Nothin’ But Love, Babe…

by Jeremy Harbin

Want to be a part of Eight Days A Week?

Space is limited, but if you have an event, exhibit, performance, book signing, sale, opening, trunk show, or anything else interesting or creative that readers can attend, let us know at 805-845-1673 or email us at tim@santabarbarasentinel.com. We’ll consider all suggestions, but we will give extra consideration to unusual events and/or items, especially those accompanied by a good visual, particularly one that has yet to be published.

• Friday April 5

– Celebration at Cielito

I thought this day would never come. No, not Friday (as any good Sentinel reader knows, that comes twice a week). I’m talking about the day our respected and justplain-busy EIC Matt Mazza was forced to delegate calendar duties – nay, calendar privileges – to one of his trusted writers. And then when they all turned him down, he had to ask me. To celebrate my new appointment, let’s get a drink, shall we? It is Friday after all (which, cruelly, only comes twice a week).

I say we start at home with a Telegraph for me and a glass of Foley syrah for the special lady. We’re supposed to be celebrating, though, so I’ll get off the couch and meet you at Cielito for the arguably best margarita in town, some of their signature guacamole, and an order of tacos al pastor or two. Then let’s switch it up and head to Press Room, where you can buy me a pint and let me borrow a couple bucks for the juke box. You’ll have to continue onto the Wildcat without me (I know you love to dance), because it’s now past my bedtime.

– Smokin’ Adobe

If that scenario I just made up doesn’t appeal to you (typical that my friends have fun without me even on a fictional night-out), here’s a real one: get out of work and go straight to the Santa Barbara Historical Museum. Open to the public today from 5:00pm until 8:00pm and free to you is the museum’s new exhibit De La Tierra – Art of the Adobe. Through paintings and photographs by renowned artists, you’ll be able to glimpse Santa Barbara as it appeared around the turn of the twentieth century – before the Mexican adobe structure was run out of town by more popular architectural forms. On view from tonight until October 6. Find the museum at 136 East De La Guerra.

• Saturday April 6

– Teen Scene

If you’re a teenager – or have one – today could be a big day for you. Exercise your mind and body at Santa Barbara City College and the Montecito YMCA,

A Public Service Announcement from the “StAte” NOW SERVING DINNER TOO! Wed - Sun starting at 5pm.

Simple. Rustic. California.

Located in the historic La Arcada Plaza 1114 State Street, Suite 18 | 805.965.1730 | www.stateandfig.com

respectively (or act as proud chauffeur). At SBCC, you’ll be able to pick the creative brains of forty art professionals and nine art organizations at the Art Career Day Conference. Ask the questions all young artists need answers to, like “what university has the best program for my area of interest?”, “how should I prepare now for my entrance into a challenging field?”, and “what’s your favorite way to prepare ramen noodles?” Sponsored by Art Without Limits, this event goes from 11:00am to 5:00pm and is free.

On your way out of the art conference, pick up some SBCC literature about their accounting program (‘cause let’s face it, future art majors, it doesn’t hurt to have a back-up plan) and drive or be driven over to the Montecito YMCA for their new Teen Night. Junior high students – YMCA members or not – can come here for a safe and positive place to make some friends, dance, shoot hoops, and hang out. (Finally, a respite from the mean streets of Montecito for our teens.) It’s $8 in advance and $10 at the door. There will be pizza. Contact Cary Young at cary.young@ciymca.org or by phone at 805.969.3288 for more information.

– Saturday Morning Cartoons

What to do if you’re still too young for awkward and forced social interaction, or further away still from realizing your true calling as an artist? Learn to do the happy dance, that’s what. The one-minute animation Diversity will teach you just that at the Kid Flix Mix presented by UCSB Arts & Lectures. This hour-long program is full of the best short films and animations from the New York International Children’s Film Festival. It starts at 11:00am, and it’s best for those little ones four years or older. It costs $10, $15 for accompanying adults. At UCSB’s Campbell Hall.

Call (805) 893-3535 or visit www.ArtsAndLectures.UCSB.edu for tickets and more information.

• Sunday April 7

– Polka Pioneers

If you didn’t get enough family-friendly fun on Saturday, there’s another Arts & Lectures event for you to catch today: Grammy-winners Los Texmaniacs will perform at Isla Vista School (6875 El Colegio Rd., Isla Vista) at 7:00pm.

The band plays traditional and updated conjunto, twelve-string bajo sexto and accordion polka music that originated in Texas in the nineteenth century. It’s free.

– It’s Skerry Under There

Maybe the oom-pah-pah of polka just ain’t your thing.

In that case, Arts & Lectures (once again) has provided you with an alternative. As part of the new National Geographic Live series, underwater photographer Brian Skerry will present his multimedia lecture, Ocean Soul, at 3:00pm in UCSB’s Campbell Hall. A book signing will follow. $15 for students, $20 for everyone else.

We’re not sure if the mysteries of the deep exposed by Skerry’s camera will make us want to pull the wetsuits on and dive in or if they’ll have us avoiding the tide for a while, but we do know that staring at fish for that long is going to make us hungry for some sushi. OK, maybe not, but those of us that like a night’s dinner and entertainment to be thematically sound should stop by Kai Sushi for a fisherman’s roll. Then go home to your waterbed and wait for Monday.

8 0 5 . 8 4 5 .1 6 7 3 | 1 3 3 E A S T D E L A G U E R R A S T R E E T | N O.1 8 2 | S A N TA B A R B A R A

A P R I L 5 – 1 2 | 2 0 1 3 |

11

• Monday

the Earl Warren Showgrounds (3400 Calle Real) to pick up some antiques or fresh produce. Hey, get both and stick some strawberries in an old milk glass vase – we don’t care. Admission is free.

– Roses are Red, Mondays are Blue

– Sleepless in Santa Barbara

April 8

This is how the world ends / Not with a bang but a whimper: while those famous lines from T.S. Eliot describe my spiritual and emotional disposition on any given Monday morning, they’re made even more appropriate for inclusion here because April is National Poetry Month (but I’m sure you’ve already been celebrating). So grab your weathered copy of Leaves of Grass, skip down to the beautiful Alice Keck Park, and make a big show of your impromptu public reading.

Or, for a quieter celebration, take this sleepy Monday to rest, meditate, and perhaps draft your own verse. Then submit your original poetry to Waxing Poetic, the Summerland and Los Olivos jewelry boutique. They’ll choose one poet as the winner of a personalized charm and a $250 gift certificate. Be sure to keep your work short; this contest calls for tiny poems – 6 lines maximum, and only 8 characters per line. For complete rules and more information, navigate your browser to the Waxing Poetic Facebook page at www.facebook.com/waxingpoetic.

• Tuesday April 9

– Tiptoe to Campbell Hall

Is your brow too furrowed from yesterday’s poetry session? Stressed and worn out already from the workweek? Then it’s time to yuck it up courtesy of Arts & Lectures. (Yes, them again. What can we say? They’re prolific.) Well, not courtesy of, exactly; it’ll cost you $35, $15 if you’re a student, to see the Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain. As the Boston Pops Orchestra cleverly mixes the high and low-brow by playing popular hits with classic instrumentation to humorous effect, this world-touring group of musicians accomplishes something similar, but with the tiny Hawaiian instrument. I guess you could say that they mix the high and aloha-brow (I’ll be high-fiving everyone in the office while you finish laughing). The show starts at 8:00pm in Campbell Hall.

Call (805) 893-3535 or visit www.ArtsAndLectures.UCSB.edu for tickets or more information.

• Wednesday April 10

– Get Crabs for Charity

The end is near. No, I’m not still depressed from Poetry Monday; I just mean that it’s Wednesday, and the end of this eight-day week is finally in sight. For making it this far, take a date out to lunch at the Wine Cask. If you can’t find a date, ask the new hire at work before they feel comfortable enough to say no. If that doesn’t work, we’ll go with you any day of the week for a meal prepared by Chef Brandon Hughes. As if you needed more incentive, the restaurant will donate 10% of your check to the Granada Theatre all throughout April (just be sure to mention the Granada to your server). So if you like your Dungeness crab cakes with a side of helping-out-a-community-institution, you know where to go: 813 Anacapa Street.

– On McCloud Nine

Last Saturday we went to an art-centered career fair. Well, if your art is comics, you’ll want to be at tonight’s event. If you just like to casually read the funnies, or even if you dislike comics, this event is still for you. Comics theorist Scott McCloud will present a lecture called “Comics and Visual Communication.” You might not think there’s a deeper understanding to be gained of the maligned and misunderstood medium, but McCloud will have fans considering the past and future of comics in a new light, and newbies considering comics, period. On the fence? Check out the content-packed ScottMcCloud.com. The lecture is at 8:00pm in UCSB’s Campbell Hall, and is totally free.

Here’s something light and nostalgic for this Thursday evening. We laughed, we cried, we were twenty years younger when we first watched Sleepless in Seattle.

That’s right, this archetypical rom-com hit theaters twenty years ago, and you can celebrate its anniversary by joining the film’s screenwriter Jeff Arch for a screening and Q & A session. That’ll cost you a mere $5 plus the gas it takes to get to the Pollock Theater on Ocean Road on the UCSB campus.

• Friday April 12

– Art, Jazz, Drink

Well would you look at that, Friday’s back. We’ve got our eye on Santa Barbara Museum of Art’s Atelier event (atelier is French for “workshop”; this year marks SBMA’s fifth season of these fun nights), Sabor Latino. This time, the flowers, food and drinks are inspired by the exhibition, “Myth and Materiality: Latin American Art from the Permanent Collection, 1930-1990.” Afro-Cuban jazz with Ricardo Lemvo and Makina Loca will be jamming on the front terrace, there’s a cross-cultural cocktail tasting including cachaca (liquor made from fermented sugarcane juice, dang) from Brazil, rum from Cuba, tequila from Mexico and pisco (grape brandy) from Chile and Peru. On top of that, hors d’oeuvres and wine, and an interactive loteria gallery game. And then of course there’s art. $25 SBMA or Garden Club of Santa Barbara members, $40 non-members; www.sbmuseart.org; 1130 State Street.

– Gettin’ Around With Theater

If you’re feeling like you’d rather take in a play, head to the Piano Kitchen (430 Rose Avenue) to catch the opening night of Elements Theatre Collective’s free performance of The Last Five Years. ETC provides free, professional quality theatre to under-served communities, and will be presenting the play until April 28 at a variety of untraditional locations around town.

The Winehound is

MOVING to La Cumbre Plaza!

3849 State Street

(next to See’s Candies) • More Wines!

Easy Parking!

• More •Wines!

• Easy Parking!

Opening in October!

• Grand • Stay tuned for news & specials...

Subscribe to our emails at www.thewinehound.com

The Winehound

– Cheers, Bob Wesley & the Winehound Crew

• Thursday April 11

– Early Bird Gets the Milk Glass Vase

Have you ever checked out the Early Bird Flea Market? The name might be a little misleading; it opens at 7:00am, but stays that way until 7:00pm. Still, nine-tofivers might have trouble making it, but all others should make their way out to

3849 State St. Santa Barbara • (805) 845-5247

12 | A P R I L

5 – 1 2 | 2 0 1 3

W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

Opinion, stories, events, and people that shape Santa Barbara

Milpas on the Move Selective Justice

by Sharon Byrne

M

y column two weeks ago got a lot of feedback. My examples in that piece contrasted unpunished criminal acts with city regulations, fees and fines for minutiae, all leveled against the dutiful citizen. That is selective justice, where the net effect is that we increasingly enforce those in our society who can pay.

When it comes to criminal justice, that’s a state issue, and it’s there I want to focus now.

First, the obvious: law-breakers cost money to arrest, try in court, and incarcerate. Governments are still feeling downward pressure from the recession and shrinking budgets. They must cut expenses, and generate new revenues.

Doesn’t take a Harvard MBA to see that criminal justice sucks money like a Hoover, and generates little revenue, a net budget drain.

The two largest states, California and Texas, also have the largest prison populations, and have pursued two very different models.

California was court-mandated to reduce prison overcrowding, and offloaded prisoners to the jails, reducing our prison population from its former high of 170,000 to 134,000. Burglaries and assaults are going up, hitting neighborhoods that don’t normally see crime. The reason is that supposedly victimless-crime offenders, having gotten an early release courtesy of the federal court mandate, often go right back to re-offending. When they are caught and arrested, our jail is full from housing the offloaded prisoners and those awaiting trial for violent offenses. So lesser offenders go right back out onto the streets. Enforcement tries to keep track of the more dangerous ones via electronic monitoring. The L.A. Times just reported electronic monitoring ankle bracelets have a 45% failure rate, so don’t buy stock in that solution just yet.

However if you thought the criminal justice system works, or is supposed to work, it’s just been effectively kneecapped.

California put a lot of criminals back out onto the streets, where we encounter them repeatedly.

The ripples are spreading through all aspects of the system. Governor Brown wants to charge for court records for criminal proceedings. The DA is bunching offenses together in the hopes of getting appropriate treatment for a repeat offender in court.

Now, typically California leads the way, so this isn’t good news for states watching

Sharon Byrne

sbview.com their future hurtle towards them from the left coast.

Texas is pursuing a different path, though also in the direction of selective justice.

Checking in with my ex in Texas (don’t go there), it’s still a big law-and-order state, but they have changed up the order of law. Like California, Texas has realized that criminal justice is a costly enterprise, so they followed the lead of Corporate America, and outsourced. I don’t mean they followed the old British model of exporting prisoners offshore (hello, American colonies and Australia).

No, they paid corporations to build and run their prisons. On its face, it makes sense. Government is slow, inefficient and expensive. Pay someone else to do it cheaper, faster, better, and sidestep those expensive prison guard unions while you’re at it.

Create a prison boom, boys!

Texas now has a prisoner shortage of 11,000, even while housing 152,000 prisoners, the largest number in the US. Seems they hit a prison bubble. Hey, maybe we could outsource our prisoners to Texas! They could probably do it, transportation included, for half of what it costs California.

There’s also a trend where firms averse to off-shoring manufacturing and call centers can employ prisoners for $1 an hour to do those jobs. Now there’s an interesting business model: keep jobs in the good ol’ USA, give would-be parolees job skills for their release, while paying the same wages as India!

Texas also believes strongly in carrying out the death penalty. Maybe that partly explains why they’ve got a surplus of vacant prison beds…

Back to the meme of selective justice….

My ex reported that if you can pay your fine, then by all means, pony up to the cashier. If they think you can pay, but you don’t, they turn you over to a debtcollections agency.

It’s probably outsourced to prisoners.

Hey, even enforcement debt-collections agencies gotta save money!

My ex knows a guy who told the police he will go to jail instead of paying his fine,

sbview.com

“Government is slow, inefficient and expensive.

Pay someone else to do it cheaper, faster, better, and sidestep those expensive prison guard unions while you’re at it.”

Sharon Byrne is executive director for the Milpas Community Association, and currently serves on the Advisory Boards for the Salvation Army Hospitality House and Santa Barbara County Alcohol and Drug Problems.

but they won’t let him. They turned him over to a collections agency. They will not give him his license back until he pays the collection agency. Collections agencies have to make money too, so they tack on fees. He now owes far more than the original fine. Another individual, pulled over for drunk driving, a busted headlight and stolen tags, indicated he could not pay, so the police let him out of jail the next morning.

Selective justice: enforce those who can pay.

Is this just where you get to with big states?

Maybe we should outsource the politicians and bureaucrats that got us here.

Research Before You Donate

by Loretta Redd

I

Loretta Redd’s diverse background includes being a psychologist, business owner, non-profit director, Air Force officer, writer, speaker, and executive coach. Loretta has served on several Santa Barbara city committees and has been a candidate for public office.

t has been estimated that between the counties of Ventura, Santa Barbara and San Luis Obispo there are more than 3,500 non-profit agencies. From the national behemoths like United Way, Salvation Army, American Red Cross, Catholic Charities and the YMCA, to local leaders with sterling reputations such as Direct Relief International, to the more obscure Naljor Prison Dharma Service and Center for the Study of Social Structures, we are invited to participate in improving the lives of our Central Coast neighbors.

We hold our charitable institutions as sacred and dare any politician to discount or remove the tax deductible status that comes with the beloved IRS designation of 501-c-3. That category covers a wide array of needs and philanthropic causes, including: charitable, religious, educational, scientific, literary, testing for public safety, fosters amateur sports competition, prevents cruelty to children or animals.

Locally, we find everything from the fledgling start-up, raising dollar by dollar through cookie sales and backyard barbeques, to one of our largest employers, Cottage/Goleta

Loretta Redd

sbview.com

Valley Hospital Foundation – with income, assets, property and revenues approaching a quarter of a billion dollars. (If I got these numbers wrong, it wasn’t for lack of trying to uncover all of its various foundation spreadsheets of holdings and reserves.)

Most charities have only a fraction of their annual budgets in reserve and would be thrilled to have a ‘black ink’ endowment higher than their ‘red ink’ operating budget. A paltry four percent of charities with budgets over $5 million have operative reserves worth more than one year of expenses, according to the Urban Institute Study conducted in 2009. Cottage, and a few others in our area, is part of that fortunate club of ‘wellendowed’ charities.

As more groups of varying backgrounds and motivations find their way to the tax-deductible trough, we are cautioned to take the time to review their motives, their expenditures and balance sheets, and be wary of where our contributions are expended. For instance, CNN recently uncovered an unscrupulous marketing group, Quadriga – a branch of Brickmill marketing – which has collected tens of millions of dollars purportedly for various veterans groups, but to which almost nothing went to anyone in uniform.

Those of us tempted to give to the slick ads and heart-wrenching stories, or who received freebie giveaways of coffee mugs, reusable shopping bags or address labels, might do best to review organizations like the Disabled Veterans National Foundation before sending them a check or credit card. And unfortunately, we can’t always trust the internet ratings, as plenty of groups have positioned themselves at the top of a list or paid to be placed in their own self-created ranking of “top charities.”

A new book by Ken Stern, With Charity for All: Why Charities are Failing and a Better Way to Give, is an eye-opener if not a heart-hardening insight into today’s “profit-seeking conglomerate.” In this important text, he reminds us the New York Stock Exchange was a tax-exempt non-profit until 2006, even while they paid their CEO, Mr. Grasso, a princely sum of $140 million in salary.

Having directed, served and supported various non-profit organizations for thirty years, I am a true believer in their purpose and cause. Yes, some have become ‘industries’ in their own right, and the IRS could use some support from

8 0 5 . 8 4 5 .1 6 7 3 | 1 3 3 E A S T D E L A G U E R R A S T R E E T | N O.1 8 2 | S A N TA B A R B A R A

Congress in the way of better regulations and controls.

But now that elected officials and ‘think tanks’ have found their way to the trough of ‘hidden income’ and election manipulation, don’t expect that august body on the Washington Hill to make political fund-raising any more difficult. 501-c-4s, the political arm of philanthropy, may not be tax-deductible for you and me, but it certainly is profitable for candidates and causes.

As for churches, the recent selection of Pope Francis has apparently caused quite a stir among those Cardinals and upper echelon who had become used to the opulent trappings and rich lifestyle of the insular Vatican nation and its culture. The gold icons, ermine capes and silk slippers of the last Council are being pushed aside by a man more in tune with the humility and humbleness of Jesus’ lifestyle... and some of the resulting grumbling from within the hierarchy seems less than, shall we say, charitable.

The dangerous duplicity when faith organizations co-opt thinly veiled political

A P R I L 5 – 1 2 | 2 0 1 3 |

PUMP YOURSELF

by Jenny Schatzle

Fitness Professional/Life Motivator Jenny Schatzle runs the popular Jenny Schatzle Bootcamp right here in Santa Barbara. N.A.S.M , Cardio Kickboxing and SPIN Certified, Jenny was recently awarded Best Outdoor Fitness Program in town. Her motivation, energy and enthusiasm have created a community and program of all ages and fitness levels that cannot be described. It has to be experienced! Free on Saturdays at 8:30am. Go to www.jennyschatzle.com for details.

Carpe Diem

I

hear a lot from folks around town that they will get started on a new training regimen “soon” (in fact, Sentinel Editor-in-Chief Matt Mazza tells me that all the time). And I say the same thing to all of them: If not now, when?

The days of saying, “I’ll start tomorrow,” or “I’m too tired,” or “I’m not in shape” are over. Each week, I will provide, right here, a totally free new workout designed to improve your strength, fitness and endurance. All you have to do is commit, and I promise that you will see results before you know it. And I’ll bet that you’ll like what you see.

Remember, everybody has to start somewhere. You can start right here, right now.

This is your moment.

I say take it and make it the start of something new!

intentions has recently brought us the Prop 8 debacle, a “marriage” of Mormons and Republicans (though I’m sure they’re opposite sex), now finding its way to the Supreme Court for a convoluted decree.

Non-profit organizations are one of the most defining attributes about our Central Coast community and Americans as a people. We are incredibly generous in time and dollars to strangers in need, to causes we may never be personally touched by, to groups supporting our beliefs, our institutions and even our planet. Those who work in and for nonprofits are anything but “business rejects.”

On the contrary, I would challenge many for-profit companies to demonstrate the tenacity and management integrity of most philanthropic agencies.

But there are opportunists among us, and there are many, many groups competing for limited resources. So before you blithely respond to any appeal for any given cause, do a little homework on Guidestar.org or Charity Navigator or other legitimate review site, and know whether your dollars are paying a multimillion dollar salary for its CEO, making a marketing firm rich, renovating offices and building an empire, or actually having an impact in the life of a neighbor and friend.

FRIDAY

Locals Night Happy Hour

APRIL 5

4PM-7PM

FeaturingFolsom & McLychok 4PM-7PM

SATURDAY

FeaturingMatt Clark’s Mind

APRIL 6

Warm-up:

4PM-7PM

Jog in place - 1min Jumping Jacks - 1min Repeat for 5 minutes

Featuring- Allistar Green Blues 8:30PM-11:30PM

SUNDAY

Workout: “Non-profit organizations are one of the most defining attributes about our Central Coast community and Americans as a people.”

13

S et a timer for 20 minutes, and see how many rounds of the following five exercises you can do in that time:

6PM-11PM

MONDAY

Do that as many days as possible this week. Keep a diary and track your results. You will improve, and you will enjoy looking back and seeing how far you’ve gone by simply taking the first step.

Write Jenny a letter (letters@santabarbarasentinel.com) or contact her directly with any questions at jenny@jennyschatzle.com. And go get ‘em, the Sentinel is rooting for you.

Ray Estrada

sbview.com

Business Beat

by Ray Estrada

Deckers Acquires Running Shoe Brand

L

et’s hope it’s not an April Fool’s joke, but Goleta-based Deckers Outdoor Corp. announced April 1 the company has acquired performance running shoe brand Hoka One One, after taking a minority stake in the company in July 2012.

“Since making our initial investment in

130PM-430PM

Karaoke Hosted

by Will “Uptown” Brown

1. 20 squats 2. 10 push-ups 3. 20 crunches 4. 10 jump lunges or back lunges 5. Plank hold – count to 30

Ray Estrada is a writer, editor and media consultant who has worked for newspapers, radio news, wire services and online publications for the past 40 years. He has taught journalism at the University of Southern California and now runs his own consulting business based in Santa Barbara.

FeaturingBobby & Steve Acoustic Duo

APRIL 7

Quiz Night- Hosted

by Tim Duggan

APRIL 8

6PM-8PM

Industry Night

TUESDAY APRIL 9

Brian Kinsella’s Open Mic Night 8PM-11PM

Hoka in the summer of 2012, we’ve seen the brand’s momentum increase rapidly,” Deckers chief Angel Martinez said in a news release. “The enthusiasm for Hoka product from both retailers and runners is significant and fully acquiring the brand gives us the opportunity to support the brand’s momentum with the resources to accelerate its growth.”

The Hoka brand will operate from Deckers’ offices in Richmond, Calif.

Hoka founders Jean-Luc Diard and Nicolas Mermoud will continue to work with the brand. Diard will be responsible for international distribution and will continue to work with the brand on product innovation, while Mermoud will continue to support the brand’s sports marketing and athlete management.

Among Hoka’s athletes are world-class endurance runner Karl Meltzer, who holds the record for most 100-mile trail race wins and was named 2006 Ultra Runner of the Year, and Dave Mackey, the 2011 Ultra Runner of the Year who most recently won the Miwok 100K.

WEDNESDAY

All Night Happy Hour W/ M&M Live Jazz Featuring Justin Claveria Jazz Trio

APRIL 10

7PM-10PM

THURSDAY APRIL 11

Ladies Night Happy Hour 4PM-7PM

FeaturingBrian Kinsella Band 8:30PM-11:30PM

805-845-8800 3126 STATE ST

14 | A P R I L

5 – 1 2 | 2 0 1 3

W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

...continued from COVER

presents

From Pilates to Lattes, ThomasKelly has you covered.

David Cooley, Petra Cortright, Yoon Chung Han, Katy McCarthy, Chris Silva, Tellef Tellefson, and Johnny Troyna Curated by Warren Schultheis

and

Glen Fogel, Recent Video

life. Sure, Wendi wears cute workout clothes, but I don’t know much more than Lolë (cool shop, great for gifts) and Lululemon (ditto). Oh, I also liked Prana quite a bit, which I understand moved to Mountain Air Sports – a real favorite of mine – when Santa Barbara Outfitters disappeared a few months back. But that’s pretty much the extent of my knowledge.

Let me put it to you this way: I wouldn’t know a “yoga pant” from a “jogging capri” if my life depended on it. (Did that even make any sense? Forget it.)

In any event, I think it’s fair to say that I was a bit of a fish out of water a couple days ago when I sat down with the quite pleasant Kelly Gamble to discuss ThomasKelly, the locally conceived, designed and produced preppy women’s active wear brand she has developed with her husband, Thomas (TJ) Gamble, over the past few years. But even so, here’s the

thing: The more I heard about Thomas and Kelly’s story, the more intrigued I became. And while I don’t envision soon becoming a cross-dressing athletic preppy, I actually dig what they’re doing.

So I decided to write about them.

A New Market Thomas and Kelly met in the real estate business – he was (and remains) predominantly on the finance and private equity side and she worked in a brokerage – in LA in 2004. They had both gone to school on the east coast – she to Boston University and he to Colgate University – and become smitten with the apparently ubiquitous eastern preppy style that I know so little about.

Preppy love developed, and the young couple eventually migrated north to Santa ...continued p.21

Up to $2.5 Million of FDIC Coverage In today’s financial environment, you may have concerns about FDIC coverage on your bank deposits. Call me today for a free copy of our publication, Maximizing FDIC Insurance Coverage, and for more information on our FDIC-Insured Bank Deposit Program.

On View: April 14 – June 16 Opening Reception: Saturday, April 13, 6–8 pm

Larry Harteck

Senior Vice President/Investments

(805) 957-1840

30 East Figueroa Street, Suite B Santa Barbara, California 93101

Investment Services Since 1890 sbcaf.org

ADMISSION IS FREE

PASEO NUEVO SHOPPING CENTER, UPPER ARTS TERRACE 653 PASEO NUEVO, SANTA BARBARA, CA 93101 (805) 966-5373

The FDIC-Insured Bank Deposit Program provides up to $2.5 million of FDIC coverage (or $5 million for joint accounts as defined in the Insured Bank Deposit Program Terms and Conditions brochure), subject to any limitations. You should request and read the Terms and Conditions brochure carefully before choosing to partcipate in this program. FDIC insurance coverage pertains only to bank products available through Stifel Nicolaus. Investment products offered through Stifel Nicolaus are not FDIC-insured, not bank guaranteed, and may lose value.

Stifel, Nicolaus & Company, Incorporated | Member SIPC and NYSE

8 0 5 . 8 4 5 .1 6 7 3 | 1 3 3 E A S T D E L A G U E R R A S T R E E T | N O.1 8 2 | S A N TA B A R B A R A

...continued from p.7 just a few lines later to read “The proof is in the reality: not much has changed despite the Chavista revolution.” In which reality does the proof lie: the reality that Chavez destroyed the country or the reality that his revolution didn’t change anything?

A bit later we hear that “Chavez was a clown and a megalomaniac. He was a throwback if you will, unsuited to the modern world and the evidence bears that out.” Speaking of evidence, what evidence does Harding offer? Well, it seems King Juan Carlos of Spain once told Chavez to shut up. Alright then. Juan Carlos I de Borbón y Borbón, himself placed on the throne by Generalissimo Francisco Franco (the biggest old-fashioned caudillo of them all) certainly should know a throwback when he sees one.

On to capitalism in Latin America. Near the end of the column we hear that Chavez’ followers should “...look to rich capitalist countries as exemplars; countries that respect property rights, human rights, and the rule of law. This is the path that Chile has taken and it has the best economic and political system in Latin America.” Then, barely one line later “...Latin American has never embraced capitalism.” Wait a minute, Chile, the “best economic and political system in Latin America” has not embraced capitalism? Just a few words ago it was taking the path of the rich capitalist countries.

In a final flourish of doublespeak, we learn that “Capitalism, true capitalism, distributes wealth and power throughout the population.” That sounds a lot like what Chavez would have called “Socialism, true socialism!”

Hasta la Revolucion, Tim Cunningham Santa Barbara (Editor’s Note: I’m not one to punt, Tim, but I think I’d better leave this one to Jeff.

His response is below. Thanks for the letter.

– MSM) (Tim, thank you for reading my “screed” and taking the time to respond.

Unfortunately, you largely miss the point of my article. I understand you may disagree with my views of Hugo Chavez, but you offer nothing to refute them except cavillous nitpicking about my so-called “inconsistencies.”

So I really don’t understand the nature of your armchair criticism. Do you support Chavez’s policies or not? Do you agree that his Chavismo revolution has destroyed the country or not? Do you agree he was ignored by most of the rest of world except for his fellow socialists and dictators or not? I will stand on what I wrote as being factual and consistent. What do you have to offer to the discussion? – Jeff Harding)

Kicking a Can Stuffed Full With Worthless Greenbacks Down the Road I very much enjoyed Jeff Harding’s column on the “too big to fail” banks, as far as it went. (Vol. 2, Issue 12.) We

are approaching the one hundredth anniversary of the “den of thieves” known as the Federal Reserve, and I say enough is enough. During the “Fed’s” tenure, the American people have been swindled out of their gold in 1933, out of their silver in 1964, and out of their copper in 1982. In return we’ve been given some white paper with green ink on it, titled Federal Reserve Notes, and base metallic coinage. Some economists claim that the 1913 dollar is now worth less than a nickel. The only thing that has kept the “Fed’s” party going this long is the fact that the U.S. dollar, which the Federal Reserve notes purport to be, enjoys “reserve status.” But the cracks in the system are rapidly expanding to gaping chasms, as more and more countries are waking up and are demanding their gold be repatriated (see, e.g., Germany, Venezuela, et al.).

More and more countries are bypassing the U.S. Dollar and dealing directly with each other in their own currencies (the latest being Australia with China).

More and more Americans are also waking up, thanks to the efforts of Presidential contender Ron Paul, and agree with him that it is high time a meaningful and transparent audit was conducted not only of the Fed but of Fort Knox as well to determine whether or not there really is any actual gold in the place.

There is no painless way for the country to get out of the economic mess it is in, and there are surely tough times ahead, but I believe the Icelandic route is the best alternative for the American people if not for the banksters. If that is too harsh a pill to be implemented then alternative currencies should be allowed to compete with the Federal Reserve notes.

As Ron Paul recently stated; “The situation in Cyprus should serve as both a lesson and a warning to the United States.

We need to end the Federal Reserve, stay away from propping up the Euro, and return to a sound monetary system.” And as Lord Acton famously stated, “The issue which has swept down the centuries and which will have to be fought sooner or later is the people versus the banks.”

So the question is, are we going to stand up to the banksters or are we going to “kick the can down the road” for our children and grandchildren to deal with?

Larry Bond Santa Barbara (Larry, thanks for the kind words and cheers to the excellent commentary, which I shockingly agree with completely. No one today understands what money really is and why what we have today isn’t, as you correctly point out. If we could just print prosperity we’d all be rich. But it doesn’t work that way, as the Zimbabweans found out. You would think our leaders would realize after their multiple policy failures that printing money as a cure-all doesn’t work. Alas. As you say, they will keep kicking that can until they can’t. – Jeff Harding)

A P R I L 5 – 1 2 | 2 0 1 3 |

r e s t a u r a n t unique mexican dining experience

unique mexican dining experience

805.564.2626 600 n. milpa s, santa barbar a m o n - f r i 1 1 a m – 9 p m • S at - S u n 9 a m - 9 p m

15

16 | A P R I L

5 – 1 2 | 2 0 1 3

W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

Powered by

www.presidiosports.com Presidio Sports is a provider of local sports news and information for the Santa Barbara community. Founded in 2008, the small team at Presidio has covered hundreds of local sporting events and published thousands of articles connected to Santa Barbara’s athletic community. Please visit their website for more local sports news and information.

Joshua Yaro, Most Valuable Player on Presidio Sports’ All-City Boys Soccer Team Dos Pueblos’ Omar Montaldo

All-City Boys Soccer

Athletes of the Week: Kelsie Sampson and James Morton

by John Dvorak

Westmont’s Kelsie Sampson

SBHS golfer James Morton

estmont’s Kelsie Sampson and Santa Barbara High’s James Morton were named Athletes of the Week at the Santa Barbara Athletic Round Table press luncheon held on Monday at Harry’s Café.

The Athlete of the Week candidates covered two weeks’ worth of action because there was no luncheon last week due to spring break.

Sampson scored 25 points in the Warriors’ national-title clinching victory at the NAIA Tournament. The bigtime performance came in the Warriors’ biggest game of the season.

Teammate Tugce Canitez, who was named NAIA Player of the Year and Tournament MVP, was the previous Athlete of the Week.

Morton was voted Athlete of the Week for tying a Channel League record with a round of 63 at Buenaventura Golf

Course. The senior posted eight birdies in the round and was inches from breaking the record but his second-to-last putt was barely off target.

“Congrats to James,” said San Marcos’ Aaron Solis. “With the history of Channel League golf, tying that record, it’s just amazing.”

Morton was also a piece of a four-man team that placed first out of 20 schools at the Calabasas Invitational earlier that week.

Honorable Mentions were Evan Licht, UCSB Volleyball; Jack Gregson, Bishop Diego Baseball; Max Damron, Carpinteria Baseball; Mitchell Haag, UCSB Track & Field; Stamatia Scarvelis, Dos Pueblos Track & Field; Amanda Chevalier, Westmont Track & Field; Catalina Maldonado, Carpinteria Softball; and Esther Lee, Westmont Basketball.

W

J

oshua Yaro is the kind of soccer player who can win a ball in his 18-yard box and then lead the breakout that usually results in a quality scoring chance.

His athleticism, skill, speed, awareness and leadership set him apart on the pitch.

Those qualities helped Cate win a pair of CIF Division 7 titles in 2011 and 2012 and reach the Division 6 semifinals this past season.

Presidio Sports is pleased to recognize Yaro as the Most Valuable Player on its All-City Boys Soccer Team.

The players selected to the team are: Geoffrey Acheampong of Cate, Jelan Hutton, Peter Gamboa, Alec Larson and Elvis Mancilla of Santa Barbara, Omar Montalvo and Forbes Bainou of Dos Pueblos, Ian Hall of San Marcos, Luis Ortiz of Bishop Diego and Genaro Hurtado and Eduardo Mejia of Carpinteria.

Yaro, who signed a letter of intent with NCAA Division 1 College Cup runner-up Georgetown, was a special player for the Rams and coach Peter Mack.

“Joshua’s work ethic is beyond compare,” Mack said this season. “He’s the fastest player on the field, he has great field vision, and I have yet to see a high school player with his defensive abilities and instincts.”

He noted when Yaro came forward on Cate set pieces, the Rams would “send two or three guys back in his place, because one can’t cover for what he does out there.”

As a centerback, he scored 16 goals and had 10 assists.

One of Yaro’s greatest qualities at Cate was his ability to raise the level of play of his teammates.

Mack said Yaro’s work ethic was contagious. “That’s the kind of team we’ve become and that’s because of the standards Josh has brought with him,” the coach said following a quarterfinal win over Ontario Christian.”

He added: “I don’t think Georgetown understands quite what they have in him

SBHS’ Jelan Hutton

just yet; they will soon enough.”

Here’s a look at the Presidio Sports AllCity Boys Soccer Team: Jelan Hutton, Sr., Santa Barbara: The senior center back was one of the leaders of a defense that allowed only 22 goals in 28 matches, including 17 shutouts.

Peter Gamboa, Sr., Santa Barbara: A solid and steady defender who also was a goal-scoring threat for the 21-5-2 Dons on set pieces. “I’m not sure where our season would’ve been without these two,” Santa Barbara coach Todd Heil said of Hutton and Gamboa.

Alec Larson, Sr., Santa Barbara: A speedster on the wing for the Dons, could score goals (8) and deliver quality crosses into the box.

Elvis Mancilla, Sr., Santa Barbara: The Dons goalkeeper posted 17 shutouts and allowed just 18 goals.

Omar Montalvo, Sr., Dos Pueblos: The powerful forward was tough for opponents to handle. He led the team in goals.

Forbes Bainou, Sr., Dos Pueblos: A strong forward who had a knack of finding teammates for good goal-scoring opportunities.

Ian Hall, Sr., San Marcos: Hall could attack and play tough defense in the

8 0 5 . 8 4 5 .1 6 7 3 | 1 3 3 E A S T D E L A G U E R R A S T R E E T | N O.1 8 2 | S A N TA B A R B A R A

midfield. He led the Royals with five goals and six assists.

Geoffrey Acheampong, So., Cate: A terrific dribbler and passer, Acheampong was the motor of the Rams’ attack. He scored 15 goals and dished out 15 assists.

Luis Ortiz, Jr., Bishop Diego: Ortiz spearheaded the Cardinals’ attack and helped them reach the second round of the CIF playoffs. He scored 13 goals and had nine assists.

Genaro Hurtado, Sr., Carpinteria: Hurtado led the Warriors’ defense and provided goal scoring on set pieces.

Eduardo Mejia, Sr., Carpinteria: Mejia ran the attack for the co-Tri-Valley League champions.

DP’s Forbes Bainou

Weekend Sports Calendar

by Barry Punzal

I

Alec Larson, Santa Barbara High

t’s a big weekend of baseball at the high school and collegiate levels.

In high school, Santa Barbara High and Dos Pueblos, the last two Channel League champions, meet for the first time this season on Friday at 3:15pm at DP’s Scott O’Leary Field.

At Caesar Uyesaka Stadium, UCSB hosts nationally ranked Cal Poly in a threegame Big West series, starting Friday. The Mustangs, ranked as high as 20th, are 20-6 and 3-0 in conference play. They feature two former Santa Barbara High stars, senior infielder Denver Chavez and

sophomore pitcher Danny Zandona.

UCSB enters the series with records of 14-12 and 1-2.

At Pershing Park on Saturday, SBCC hosts Ventura in a key Western State Conference game.

Other Events Worth Checking Out: FRIDAY

Men’s Volleyball: BYU at UCSB, 7pm – The Gauchos have been on a roll lately.

BYU comes into the match having already clinched the No. 1 seed for the MPSF Tournament.

Track & Field: Sam Adams Multi Events, at Westmont College – The two-day track event at Westmont will feature world-class athletes, including Eaton Ashton, the world-record holder and most-recent Olympic Gold Medal winner in the decathlon. The Sam Adams Multi Events, named after the legendary UCSB coach, starts on Friday and continues on Saturday.

SATURDAY

Mixed Martial Arts: California Fight Syndicate hosts Project Mayhem at Earl Warren Showgrounds. There are 12 scheduled fights with the first starting at 7pm Running: “Are You Tough Enough” is a 65-mile race that begins at Toro Canyon

A P R I L 5 – 1 2 | 2 0 1 3 |

17

Park and ends at Nojoqui Falls Park.

The course takes competitors through the Montecito foothills before climbing up to Gibraltar Peak and along Camino Cielo before heading West to Nojoqui Falls.

Prep Baseball: Buena at San Marcos, 11am – The Royals complete the firstround of Channel League play against the Bulldogs.

Women’s Water Polo: San Diego State at UCSB, 12pm – The Gauchos look to move up in the Big West standings against the conference-leading Aztecs.

Women’s Tennis: Cal Poly at UCSB, noon – The Gauchos and Mustangs square off in a Blue-Green Rivalry match.

SUNDAY

Men’s Tennis: UC Irvine at UCSB, 1pm – These rivals have been two of most successful programs in the Big West.

A free kids clinic will be held after the match.

TUESDAY, APRIL 9

Softball: Buena at Dos Pueblos, 3:30pm – The top two teams in the Channel League square off for the second time. Buena won the first meeting.

Boys Tennis: Dos Pueblos at Santa Barbara, 2:30pm – A key Channel League match.

Boys Volleyball: San Marcos at Santa Barbara, 6pm – A showdown of league unbeatens.

Spring is here!

To keep you on track with your fitness and health resolutions, Marlo's Therapeutic & Sports Massage will take $15 off your first therapist massage during the entire month of April.

Photo by Kelly Mahan

Marlo’s 1126 & 1128 Coast Village Circle

Montecito, CA 93108

Therapeutic & Sports Massage

805.453.2333 www.marlosmassage.com

This offer is for new clients only & does not include massages with Marlo. Ad must be mentioned to redeem this discount.

18 | A P R I L

5 – 1 2 | 2 0 1 3

W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

Dust&Cover

by Jeremy Harbin

Learning to write by tracing the artist bios on the backs of album covers, Jeremy Harbin spent his formative years in the Southern state of Georgia, but please don’t hold that against him – since becoming a resident of Santa Barbara, he’s gotten used to the local customs (rolling through stop signs and complaining about fog). He immediately regretted his rock-writing self-education when he realized all that record sleeve scrawling decreased the eBay appeal of his collection. Have your record reviewed or local music news covered by emailing dustandcover@gmail.com.

Last Stop Before New York City: Scott James Opens for a McCartney in Santa Barbara

F

irst, the facts. Scott James is 17 years old (“turning 18 pretty soon”) and lives – for another few months – in Thousand Oaks, California. He plays guitar and writes songs that he’ll perform in Santa Barbara at SOhO on April 10, opening for son-of-a-beatle James McCartney. There, you’ll be able to pick up a copy of his new six song EP, Destinesia.

And now, some opinion. The next time Scott James plays Santa Barbara, it might just be at the Bowl, and James McCartney might be the one doing the opening.

Scott is focused on his music and career – at the expense of teenage normalcy – and has tapped the right resources available to him to get you to focus on it, too. If he eschews the distractions of looming college life as he has with high school, he might be living his dream before he hits drinking age.

Dust & Cover: You cite in some of your press material John Mayer, Jeff Buckley, and Bob Dylan as influences.

Scott James: John Mayer originally got me extremely excited about guitar as an instrument and then songwriting, too – like the fact that you can be a great musician that also is a popular singer-songwriter. He really inspired me to just go do a similar thing. Jeff Buckley I found after and just fell in love with his music. He’s one of my biggest influences. And Bob Dylan, about a year ago I became a bit of an obsessive – just his songwriting and his voice and seeing the things he was able to write and fit into a song. So those are the main three that influence me.

It’s hard to name a few people that are my main influences because there are so many amazing musicians out there.

Scott James looks to Jeff Buckley for his delicate picking and earnest vibrato.

You left high school to focus on music, right?

Yeah, I started home schooling a couple years ago to focus on it.

You must have the most supportive parents in the world.

Yeah, seriously, it’s crazy – they’re great.

They’re all for helping me do what my dream is. So that’s really great. I’m very lucky.

You going to college?

Yeah, going to college next year, it’s pretty cool.

Where are you going?

I’m going to New York [NYU], so that’s exciting.

Nice, that’s a good place to be if you’re going to keep playing music.

Definitely. New York has a lot of musicians there. I mean, I’ve been homeschooled, so I’ve been hanging out at home a lot of my time, but going to New York, being thrown into a busy city like that is gonna be insane.

You’ve played in New York, right?

Yeah, I’ve been there twice now, and played the first time I went. Jeff Buckley and Bob Dylan both moved to New York to start doing music and I think John Mayer lived there for a while or whatever.

But, a lot of my favorite musicians kind of were New York musicians, so I always had this fascination of living there. When I finally went there, I was nervous that it wouldn’t be as good as I thought it was, but then I just fell in love with it right when I walked out of the train station.

So that gets at one question I wanted to ask.

You’ve played in New York City, you have these music videos that are so well done and professionally shot, and you have management.

You have this career going that’s pretty atypical of people your age. How aware are you of how different your experience is than some kids playing in the garage?

Sometimes I’ll stress myself out. I’ll look at one of my favorite musicians or a song they wrote, and I’ll think, Oh man, I wish I could write something like that, and I’ll go and try to write it. So I

get really stressed out, but then I realize, sometimes I’ve just got to relax, because I’m still really young. It’s crazy, the past few years I definitely have not been living the normal teenage kid life. So it is crazy to think of how different it’s been, but I don’t think I’d want it any other way. It’s been really awesome. I’m really lucky with all the support I’ve gotten from my parents and all the other people and opportunities that have come up. It’s been really cool.

When I was seventeen, I was playing in really terrible bands, and my greatest goal was to have a vinyl sticker or a t-shirt with my band name on it. You’ve played Paris and television [Scott recently shot Marie, Marie Osmond’s Hallmark Channel show]. What’s your next set of goals?

The main goal is just to be able to make a living doing kind of what I’m doing

Out of the House: The Dust and Calendar for April April 10: Scott James and James McCartney at SOhO April 15: Japandroids and Cloud Nothings at Velvet Jones April 18: New Order and Johnny Marr at the Santa Barbara Bowl April 18: Dinosaur Jr. at Velvet Jones April 18: Youth Lagoon at SOhO April 19: Sigur Ros and Oneohtrix Point Never at the Santa Barbara Bowl May 1: Built to Spill at SOhO

Condor Express Ad 3-2-13 4.875" x 6.25"

8 0 5 . 8 4 5 .1 6 7 3 | 1 3 3 E A S T D E L A G U E R R A S T R E E T | N O.1 8 2 | S A N TA B A R B A R A

now, and just have more people find my music. And just keep – I’m always writing songs – releasing them, and each time more people hearing them. I would just love to be able to make a living doing this.

of artists are overly dramatic because they have to make little things seem like big things so they can make good art. So a lot of times, I’ll look back and realize I was being a baby about something, and write it from that point of view.

When I listened to Destinesia and read the lyrics, the term that came into my head – a poetry term – is “antecedent scenario.” That scenario being what moved the speaker to speak, what happened before the poem began. It seems like with your lyrics there’s a lot happening in the antecedent scenario.

Yeah, I think I get you. I’d say ninety percent of the time the songs come from major events that have happened to me that have affected me a lot.

Lyrically, you don’t seem too interested in spelling out what the events are. It’s pretty sly and impressionistic and personal.

Right, I’m writing usually about extremely personal things. I usually don’t want to just say, This is what happened, because sometimes, I like to keep it a little more cryptic. Sometimes it might just be too much to just spell out.

Yeah, and it seems like you’re coming in after the fact and assessing what happened.

That’s always interesting, because, like recently, there was a song I wrote probably about a year ago about something, that when it was happening I was writing it talking about how I felt during the event, and then I wrote a song a couple weeks ago about the same event, but a year later, and it’s just interesting to see, reading back on the old one, how I feel about it and how it’s different now than it was back then. Sometimes it’s not different at all, I might feel the exact same. So, yeah, that’s interesting you say that.

In this case, was it different?

In this case, this is one of the ones that’s the same. Usually it’s different, but it’s basically the same.

When it’s different, is it usually the case that you have some perspective with time, and you think, maybe this wasn’t as big of a deal as I thought it was?

Yeah, usually I would hope I get wiser.

A lot of times songs are about things that really aren’t that important, but the songwriter kind of over-exaggerates. A lot

A P R I L 5 – 1 2 | 2 0 1 3 |

19

Whale Watching on the Original

CONDOR

• Year Round Whale Watching • Island Excursions • Private Party Cruises • Private Charters

VOTED BEST WHALE WATCHING YEAR AFTER YEAR!

So the gig you have coming up is here in Santa Barbara at SOhO. Have you played in Santa Barbara before?

I’ve never played there, but I’ve heard great things so I’m very excited to.

You’ve been to Santa Barbara, though?

Yeah, I’ve been to Santa Barbara a couple times. I mean, I’m surprised it’s only been a couple times, because I really liked it when I went. It’s very laid back and beautiful, good beaches. The food, too, I had some really good Mexican food when I went down there.

Oh yeah? Where’d you eat?

I forget what it was called, but it was one of the best burritos I’ve ever had. I’m definitely gonna miss that when I move to New York.

Yeah, burritos might not be the same. You might be able to find some other things that are better, like pizza.

Yeah, definitely.

Or you could just go to the California Pizza Kitchen in New York.

Oh yeah?

Yeah.

Make your reservations now!

(805) 882-0088 1-888-77WHALE

www.condorexpress.com

Come and enjoy Humpbacks, Dolphins and the Gray Whale migration from December through May. Features upper sun-deck, full service bar & galley and a professional, experienced crew.

Join us online for updates, daily photos and more.

20 | A P R I L

5 – 1 2 | 2 0 1 3

W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

8 0 5 . 8 4 5 .1 6 7 3 | 1 3 3 E A S T D E L A G U E R R A S T R E E T | N O.1 8 2 | S A N TA B A R B A R A

A P R I L 5 – 1 2 | 2 0 1 3 |

21

...continued from p.14

ThomasKelly can even have you looking great while napping on benches post-extreme workout.

Barbara, the town of TJ’s youth.

“We’ve both always shared a really entrepreneurial mindset,” Kelly told me over a cappuccino at Café Luna in Summerland (yeah, I know, Summerland, home of The Nugget, is not exactly a setting in which one might expect a preppy athletic wear brand to thrive, but sometimes life is in fact more interesting than fiction). “We used to take these Sunday walks from our place on Pedregosa up to the Mission and back and just brainstorm a bunch of ideas. It was really fun.”

“We first talked seriously about doing something with the preppy style in the context of ties, bringing them to the West Coast and making them relevant to what’s happening out here. There’s a great line called Vineyard Vines and we thought it could be cool to take that and tweak it for the California coastal community.”

(I’m lost, admittedly, and I think Kelly knows it. The only vineyard vines I know are up in Santa Ynez. And jeans and boots and a Pendleton are typically more appropriate than neckties. But that’s just me talking. What do I know? I swallow a giant gulp of my cappuccino and push forward, smiling.)

Everything changed, however, one morning in 2008 during Kelly’s spin class at Spectrum Athletic Club on upper State. “I looked around and realized that there was no preppy style in women’s athletic wear. And that was it.”

Indeed it was.

Learning the Trade Neither Thomas nor Kelly had any design background, but Kelly was very familiar with women’s athletics (she had attended BU on a hoop scholarship). She immediately began not only significant market-specific research, but also “reading everything [she] could get [her] hands on” about everything from design to manufacture to sales.

Thomas, who, accordingly to Kelly,

“really went from the Santa Barbara surfer/skateboarder type to the bow tie/preppy type” while back east, was convinced. (“I think he mostly agreed, at first, anyway, because I was his new wife – we got married in 2009,” Kelly shared with a wide smile. “But now he handles the financial side and business accounting, and genuinely sees the potential.”)

It took around three years of hard work and education to get from concept to market.

That was time well spent.

ThomasKelly launched in July 2012 at a private event of family and friends, and instantly started getting some buzz. “We wanted to take women’s athletic wear from exercise to errands, make it something that could be worn comfortably in a variety of settings,” Kelly said as she pulled a few pieces out of her bag. “I think we have done that with our initial designs.”

I’m no expert, but I think Kelly’s right.

In fact, she had been wearing ThomasKelly stuff the whole time we’d been chatting, and while she looked, ah, sporty, she definitely did not have the ragged overly athletic just-out-of-the-gym look.

Nice. Attractive. I’d even go so far as to say well dressed. (Again, though, what the hell do I know?)

A Refreshing Surprise The brand started selling online soon after the initial launch, and Thomas – who still works full time in the real estate finance business – and Kelly have been working hard ever since. They’ve had a fair amount of attention in the blogosphere (the Sentinel’s friends over at LOVEmikana even did a feature on them) and there have been a couple trunk shows in town (most recently at IMX Pilates in San Roque).

“The whole blogger outreach model has been really powerful for us,” Kelly related, “and we’ve also had success marketing directly through a variety of events.”

Variety is an understatement. Kelly

“Aw forget the run, let’s just hang out by this fountain and talk shop. We’re dressed appropriately for just about anything preppy!”

took the brand on a roadshow all over the east coast (Boston, New York, Chicago, just to name a few) and has been doing events with Equinox Clubs – recently voted the best gym in America by Fitness Magazine – all over Southern California.

They will be at the Ivy Spring Market in Richmond, Virginia later this month as well, as part of a celebration of preppy brands and women-owned businesses at the University of Richmond.

Wow. That’s a lot of work.

And it’s paying off. ThomasKelly is seeing steadily increasing sales all over the country.

“It’s a refreshing surprise, we’re seeing demand for our brand everywhere we bring it.” Kelly was smiling again. “I’m staying really involved in everything from design – which I do myself with help from a Southern California pattern maker – to production, which we also do right here in Southern California. I want to personally be sure that we continue to achieve the quality, look and feel we want for our customers. This is a real passion for us, and we are working to make it all we know we can make it.”

That’s refreshing too. It’s pretty cool to me that a person without a background in fashion and design can effectively teach herself how to produce a women’s athletic wear line and make it happen. (“I even used note cards to teach myself sewing lingo,” she told me.)

Good on you, Kelly (and TJ).

So… What’s Next?

You’ll soon be seeing more of ThomasKelly around Santa Barbara. Not only is the line already in The Dailey Method (2905 De La Vina Street), where Kelly herself works out, but they will be at the Jodi House Brain Injury Support Center 5K on April 6 at Leadbetter Beach (https://sites.google.com/site/ jodihouse/events), the Santa Barbara Wine Country Half Marathon in Santa Ynez on May 11 (http://destinationraces.

com/runsb/) and even the Angels Foster Care of Santa Barbara’s benefit at the Four Seasons Biltmore on May 3 (www. angelssb.com/alfresco/default.aspx). And they were just greenlighted for Birnam Wood Country Club next Saturday for a member event from 2-4pm.

“Right now, we’re looking for a broader reach and some wholesale exposure all over the country. We don’t see ourselves as limited to gyms and athletic stores, but believe that we can continue to cultivate the brand in boutiques and country clubs and beyond as well. It’s an exciting time for us.”

That sure seems to be the case. I’m looking forward to the day when I can include ThomasKelly on the list of local shops I like to hit.

Even if I’m not likely to be a crossdressing preppy athlete anytime soon.

Stuff I Like I like women’s athletic wear. (Those yoga pants get me every time, preppy or not). Check out ThomasKelly at The Dailey Method or shop online at www.shopthomaskelly.com. Support a lovely young local couple as they grow an interesting and potentially national business from right here in Summerland.

Many of the woman-athletes I know (again, preppy or not) like enjoying a healthy treat at Backyard Bowls after a tough run on the beach. I do too. So get yourself a Berry Bowl – hold the bananas but add that honey, please – and enjoy a morning down on lower State. You can even grab a Sentinel while you wait. 331 Motor Way, (805) 845-5379 (call ahead for quick pick-up); www.backyardbowls.com.

Last but not least, I like yoga. (Not just because of the pants.) There are lots of places to go around town, but I’ve personally had some pretty fantastic experiences at the Santa Barbara Yoga Center. Go give a class a try – the building and studios are great and so is the instruction. 32 East Micheltorena Street, (805) 965-6045; www.santabarbarayogacenter.com.

22 | A P R I L

5 – 1 2 | 2 0 1 3

W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

by Rachelle Oldmixon

These Are a Few of My Favorite (UCSB) Things That’s the fish sculpture I use to help me find Bren Hall and the Sage Center talks. A girl’s got to do what a girl’s got to do to.

W

e all know about UCSB’s Arts & Lectures. I mean, really, how can we not? That program gets more advertisement and publicity than any other in the county, or at least that’s how it seems. It’s everywhere. It’s prolific.

And, frankly, it should be.

It has a high attendance rate, and the residents of Santa Barbara love it just as much as the students. The variety of talent and intellect that takes the stage under the banner of Arts & Lectures is dizzying.

Personally, I’m extremely excited for the lecture on May 2nd: Neil DeGrasse Tyson. To have such a well-known scientist (who is friends with Bill Nye) in Santa Barbara is something that only Arts & Lectures could have made happen.

But Arts & Lectures is not the only public forum the university provides, it just has a tendency to overshadow the rest. I’m not talking about the many different departmental programs associated with the local middle and high schools. There are plenty of free (or nearly free) programs that offer all kinds of opportunities for the adults in the community – all you have to do is know where to look and actually find the appropriate room on campus.

Sounds simple enough, right? But it’s not necessarily as easy as you might think; I know 6th year graduate students who still can’t find their way around.

Setting aside the directional challenges of some of our otherwise brightest minds (you know who you are), here’s a look at a few things coming up that caught my attention around campus. Pick one and check it out – I bet you won’t be disappointed.

Talks About Brains My own personal favorite lecture series comes from the Sage Center for the Study of the Mind. Every year, the Center hosts distinguished fellows who give a series of talks. In May, Dr. JohnDylan Haynes, the director of the Berlin Center for Advanced Neuroimaging, will be giving four related talks on, you guessed it, neuroimaging. Additional visiting professors and researchers also give talks periodically and the times, locations, and topics can be found online.

When and Where: May 6, 13, 20, and 29, at 3:00pm in Bren Hall 4L, Room 4016 (http://www.sagecenter.ucsb.edu)

Hidden Oaks Clubhouse

Expansive Mountain Views & Lawn, Gazebo, Waterfall

Theoretical Physicists While talks about the brain might be near and dear to my heart, there are other areas of science. And, believe it or not, they have talks, too. The Physics Department, for example, hosts a terrific public lecture series every year. Theoretical Physics is constantly changing our understanding of the world, and the men and women in the field are some of the most brilliant minds of our day (see: Neil DeGrasse Tyson).

For some reason, they like to visit Santa Barbara. It’s puzzling, puzzling indeed, but I’m thinking that all the wine and the beautiful weather are strong incentives.

And on breaks between sunning at the beach and relaxing in wine country, these science celebrities give talks at the university. Even the incomparable Stephen Hawking gave a talk through this lecture series. Not bad. Not bad at all.

When and Where: Join the mailing list for updates (http://www.itp.ucsb.edu/outreach/ public-lectures)

Film Studies and the Rising Sea Level Don’t count out departments that are traditionally considered to be in the Humanities. This month, the Film Studies Department is hosting a oneday conference on Sea Level Rise. The environmental implications of our sea levels rising are an important topic, especially for our coastal county. Check out the movies and panel discussions with an expert from Yale, an executive from the NOVA series, and an Admiral of the high seas, just to name a few.

When and Where: April 12th at the Corwin Pavilion

Grad Slam

Romantic Weddings

BBQ, Tables, Chairs, Linens & Heaters Provided 100 Guest Limitation

A self-professed science nerd, Rachelle has her B.A. in neuroscience from Skidmore College in upstate New York, and is working towards her Master’s in psychology at UCSB. In her free time, she blogs at www.synapticspeculations.com.

She never could quite understand why she had to choose just one area of science; they are all fascinating. Especially when paired with some classic rock.

4760 Calle Camarada, Santa Barbara, CA 93110 www.hiddenoaksclubhouse.com Telephone: 805-967-5574 2833458

As you might imagine in today’s world of rankings and competitive academics, our Graduate Program gets reviewed regularly. We consistently get high praise and everyone loves us.

(That’s what we students are repeatedly told, anyway.) But this last time, the reviewers noticed something peculiar: UCSB’s graduate students are in fact brilliant, but falling flat when it comes to applying for jobs. Apparently, we don’t know how to talk to people outside our own departments.

In essence, the reviewers found that we

Use this photo of Corwin Pavilion to find the Film Studies Department’s one-day conference on Sea Level Rise on April 19.

are too focused on our work and forget the bigger picture. That’s a great quality for getting top-notch research done, but a bad quality for keeping others in the loop.

So, this year, the university has started a new tradition: the Grad Slam.

The Grad Slam is a competition for best presentation, and the graduate students who compete come from every department. Their talks are open to everyone and are only three minutes long.

Sounds like a good way to satisfy the desire to learn while still appealing to our short attention spans. Also, yours truly will be competing. Bring your pom-poms – I’ll need a fan club!

When and Where: Afternoon of April 19th, location TBA (http://gradpost.ucsb. edu/grad-slam/)

Free Aquarium on Saturdays Some people find jargon-filled talks to be a bit dull (I admittedly sometimes suffer from “PowerPoint Narcolepsy” myself ) and prefer a more hands-on experience. Luckily for them, UCSB is home to a wonderful Marine Biology program that maintains an educational aquarium for academic research that is often a destination for field trips.

But on Saturdays, this otherwise byappointment-only aquarium opens to the general public for free. Check it out if you haven’t, it’s well worth the trip.

When and Where: Saturdays 11-2pm at the REEF (Research Experience & Education Facility) (http://www.msi.ucsb. edu/reef )

Scientists Just Want to Have Fun Finally, some of us scientists do like to have fun. So if you want to take a break from learning and discovering with us, try the Recreation Department’s Leisure Review Courses. These are the only activities here that come with a price tag, but with classes that range from wine tasting to guitar lessons to break dancing, you can have some serious fun and even learn something new.

And who knows, you might possibly observe a scientist outside of her natural habitat. Imagine that.

When and Where: Too many to list. Go check it out. (http://recreation.sa.ucsb.edu/ leisurereview)

8 0 5 . 8 4 5 .1 6 7 3 | 1 3 3 E A S T D E L A G U E R R A S T R E E T | N O.1 8 2 | S A N TA B A R B A R A

A P R I L 5 – 1 2 | 2 0 1 3 |

23

More Family Fare

with Mark Leisure

Mark spends much of his time wandering Santa Barbara and environs, enjoying the simple things that come his way. A show here, a benefit there, he is generally out and about and typically has a good time. He says that he writes “when he feels the urge” and doesn’t want his identity known for fear of an experience that is “less than authentic.”

So he remains at large, roaming the town, having fun. Be warned.

All-Ages Fun

T

aking a look at this weekend’s offerings, a man of leisure can’t help but wonder, what happened to marketing to regular, normal adults?

You know, the people between the ages of 18-49, which would be the ones TV advertisers and mostly everyone else cares about?

What with two events totally targeted to kids on Saturday and Sunday – not to mention the fully family-friendly Juggling Festival out at I.V. all weekend – and one set aside for the senior set on Sunday afternoon (early enough to catch the early bird dinner afterwards, natch), where’s Mr. Leisure supposed to take his significant other? I guess there’s always a beach walk or a candlelit dinner.

Just kidding, of course. It’s great to see a few things each for both our budding artists and our still thriving seniors on the calendar. And Mr. Leisure loves trading energy bursts with children and gleaning wisdom and experience from older adults, so it’s all good.

First up is Kid Flix Mix, a showcase of the best short and animated films for children culled from the New York International Children’s Film Festival.

The event packs 11 of the juiciest shorts – nearly all animated films this year – into just a single hour, a formula that should keep even the most ADHD-addled youngsters glued to their seats. A couple entries are even under two minutes, although “The Gruffalo’s Child” runs a full 26, but it’s a sequel to the Oscarnominated original and also adapted from the wildly popular Gruffalo picture books, so you’re safe there.

Kid Flix Mix, which begins at 11am Saturday at Campbell Hall, closes out the UCSB Arts & Lectures’ Family Fun Series for 2012-2013, an admirable slate of events handpicked by A&L’s artistic director after she had her own offspring, so you know it’s good stuff. And as always, you can come an hour early for balloons,

Elsewhere

UCSB Arts & Lectures presents Kids Flix Mix, showing the best short and animated films for children, including “How the Shammies Bathed.”

CHAn LUU Beloved children’s singer Raffi visits the Arlington on Sunday, April 7 as part of his first U.S. tour in a decade.

food, face painting and more family activities. And there’s a post-show pizza party for series subscribers that begins at noon.

If you skip out early on the party, you can make it back downtown to see Raffi at the Arlington Theatre at 1pm Saturday. The children’s entertainer’s high artistic integrity – including simple, folkoriented instrumentation and early work with producer Daniel Lanois – set a new standard for music for kids. It worked out OK for Raffi, too: just about every record he made in the mid-1970-90s sold at gold or platinum. His classic songs include “Baby Beluga,” “Bananaphone,” “All I

FULL SERVICE MAINTANENCE & REPAIR Established 1978

Santa Barbara Festival Ballet, best known for putting on the annual Nutcracker ballet with full orchestra as the Arlington every December, presents their annual spring performance featuring new works by its resident director, local choreographers and a rising student, with guest Seniors strut their stuff on stage at Seniors Have Talent at the Marjorie shots by UCSB Student Luke Theatre on Saturday, April 6.

Dance Company and South Really Need” and “Down by the Bay,” Bay Ballet of Torrance. That’s at the which some of you grew up listening to, Lobero on Sunday night. we’d imagine. But he hasn’t toured the U.S. in a decade, so we know none of your under-12 young’ns have seen him live. Here’s the chance.

Flutist-singer-composer Rebecca On the other end of the spectrum, Kleinmann, a former Santa Barbara Seniors Have Talent takes place at the resident, and her Bay Area-based Marjorie Luke at 2pm Saturday. The colleague, guitarist-composer Dusty two-hour variety show features local Brough – who together play everything performers aged 50-plus who range in from Brazilian music to straight-ahead experience from a former Broadway jazz – return to town this time joined by singer, a treasured local actor and a MWE, a wind-heavy quintet that puts 90-year-old onetime Juilliard student to a a modern and eclectic twist on Turkish former auto service manager, all strutting and Balkan folk music. The ensemble’s their stuff on stage. Checking out the full unusual instruments include the doublelineup (www.seniors-have-talent.org), reeded zurna and davul, a shoulder-slung this really does sound like a show that marching drum. The sinewy sounds settle shouldn’t be missed. in at SOhO Sunday at 8.

Muller & Go s s

ZAC POSEn ALEXAnDER WAnG FEnDI STELLA McCARTnEY HERMES DIAnE VOn FURSTEnBERG CHAnEL L'AGEnCE EMILIO PUCCI LOUIS VUITTOn CELInE GUCCI LAnVIn. . .

Locally Owned

IMPORT AUTO REPAIR Specializing In

Mercedes • BMW•Audi Rolls Royce• Mini•VW

962-1613

www.mullerandgoss.com

424 N. Quarantina Santa Barbara, CA

1273 COAST VILLAGE ROAD • 805.845.0055 1306 MOnTAnA AVE. SAnTA MOnICA • 310.907.5883 MOn - SAT 10-6 • SUn 11-5 S h o p o n l i n e : w w w. M a t t i A n d Me . c o m

24 | A P R I L

5 – 1 2 | 2 0 1 3

W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

8 0 5 . 8 4 5 .1 6 7 3 | 1 3 3 E A S T D E L A G U E R R A S T R E E T | N O.1 8 2 | S A N TA B A R B A R A

CO M M E R C I A L CORNER

Austin Herlihy

Chris Parker

Good Economics Make Happy Employers Too

Back to the (Wide-Open) Future

AB Design Studio, Inc. offices and open studios are beneficial for collaboration and allow light to penetrate deeper into the space.

T

25

of space and often promotes higher productivity. When the staff is given the rights to the windows and the view, they tend to feel more appreciated.

That’s good.”

Commercial Real Estate Agents with Radius Group who have completed over $550,000,000 in total transaction value and Leased/Sold over 2,000,000 SF since 2005. In 2012, along with Radius principle Steve Brown, the team completed 42 deals comprised of 19 sales and 23 lease transactions totaling $113.5 Million in sales volume and more than $21.5 Million in lease value upwards of 500,000 square feet

hrough our many showings with prospective tenants during the past several months, we’ve noticed an interesting trend in office requirements. What’s old is apparently new again as open floor plans appear to be all the rage in office space design these days.

Most tech companies and many professional service companies seem to have the same aesthetic desire in mind.

The old corner office with dark wood framing and green carpet has made way for more hip digs featuring open floor plans, glass, wood floors, stainless steel and high ceilings with exposed HVAC ducting.

The concept was initially developed by forward thinking architects like Frank Duffy and Frank Lloyd Wright, who felt walls were “fascist.” In 1964, the idea was adopted by furniture maker Herman Miller who introduced the “Action Office” system as an alternative to traditional walls and cubicles.

A P R I L 5 – 1 2 | 2 0 1 3 |

employees at all levels of the company to interact,” said Houston Harte, sales trainer for AppFolio in Goleta.

“Our CEO and management team are not locked away in secluded offices.

They are in the trenches with us promoting innovation and a healthy environment.”

Not only do open floor plans encourage collaboration, but they also allow for more light penetration.

In traditional style perimeter office layout, there is less light transmission to the interior of the building and, thus, less quality of life for the employees.

“The real benefit of doing an open office is the ability to maximize benefit from natural light,” Architect Clay Aurell, Principal of AB Design Studio, Inc., told us, “We find that this solution is a highly productive use

Happy Employees Make Happy Employers Flash forward 50 years and the open floor plan fad seems to have gained momentum with Silicon Valley tech giants like Facebook taking the concept to the extreme. Housing more than 3,000 employees and spreading across ten acres, Facebook’s new headquarters is “the largest open floor plan in the world,” boasts founder Mark Zuckerberg.

Today, more and more tech companies of all shapes and sizes are embracing the open floor plan model, including some local startups in Santa Barbara. It’s easy to understand why.

Many believe the lack of walls and barriers encourages collaboration and a team atmosphere which can lead to a more efficient, effective workplace.

“I particularly like the fact that an open floor plan allows and encourages

But that’s not all. The sheer economics are not to be overlooked. An open floor plan can accommodate more people per square foot than traditional floor plans.

For example, a rule of thumb for occupancy for traditional floor plans is 3-4 people per 1,000 square feet. The occupancy nearly doubles to 6-7 people per 1,000 square feet for the open floor plan concept.

Companies with 100 employees who would traditionally need 30,000 square feet are now leasing 15,000 to 20,000 square feet and seeing the savings in the bottom line.

That’s ideal from a tenant efficiency standpoint. But from the landlord’s perspective, it can mean that more space is left available if there aren’t enough new tenants entering the market to pick up the slack. And no one wants to see high vacancy rates.

So, will the open floor plan continue to breathe new life into the staid office space of yesteryear? Or could a lack of perceived personal space and privacy ultimately slam the door shut on this trend?

Time will tell. But one thing is certain. The “open-minded” amongst us are usually in the best position for success. Maybe that Mark Zuckerberg is onto something.

Mosquito Control

Got Gophers?

Free Estimates

Voted #1 Termite & Pest Control Company Termite Inspections - Repairs • Ticks carry the devastating Lyme Disease • Decks, Doors, and Windows • 24 hr response upon request • 55 diseases are transmitted • by rodents to children / adults • 1 in 5 fires are caused by rodents • Roaches cause many forms of Asthma • live Animal Trapping 805-6644

Free Estimates

Kevin O’Connor President

www.hydrexnow.com

26 | A P R I L

5 – 1 2 | 2 0 1 3

W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

8 0 5 . 8 4 5 .1 6 7 3 | 1 3 3 E A S T D E L A G U E R R A S T R E E T | N O.1 8 2 | S A N TA B A R B A R A 877-789-MOVIE

 Denotes ‘SPECIAL ENGAGEMENT’ Restrictions

Sad Sketches

by Jim Luksic

A longtime writer, editor and film critic, Jim has worked nationwide for several websites and publications – including the Dayton Daily News, Key West Citizen, Topeka Capital-Journal, Las Cruces Sun-News and Santa Ynez Valley Journal. California is his seventh state. When he isn’t watching movies or sports around the Central Coast and Los Angeles, you can find Jim writing and reading while he enjoys coffee and bacon, or Coke and pizza.

The Not-So-Fab Four

I

eagerly await the crime drama The Place Beyond The Pines and the baseball biopic 42 (mercifully not a prequel to Movie 43). In the meantime: We could only assume The Host got stuck with that nondescript title because more boring names were already taken. In fact, it comes from author Stephenie Meyer, who was responsible for the Twilight juggernaut. Andrew Niccol, who directed the ultra-cool Gattaca and penned The Truman Show, wore both hats in helming this sci-fi tale about hosts (who appear to have glowing powder-blue contacts in their eyes) and the surviving humans. Participants’ monikers are more like professions: Wanderer, Seeker, Healer, et al.

The upshot is a hit-and-miss journey, enhanced

by Roberto Schaefer’s splendid cinematography of Shiprock, N.M. Another consolation – the strong suit – emerges in the form of William Hurt, who has been hibernating on TV since gracing the silver screen in 2008’s The Incredible Hulk. At first he resembles an Amish farmer, before easing into the father-figure role as he would an old pair of boots.

Alas, the literary imagination of Ms. Meyer (poor little rich girl) takes us down a familiar path: Here’s another storyline, not unlike that of Twilight, where the heroine falls for a couple of hopelessly devoted guys. In this case, the damsel is actually two individuals (one of whom has a voice in her head, and it’s annoying as hell) – so we’re reassured she isn’t a cheat like Bella Swan. It is Meyer’s right to fantasize about alternate worlds where she can love two men at once, but perhaps it’s time she kept it to herself.

Testosterone Overload G.I. Joe: Retaliation takes implausibility to new heights, but that’s not always bad. After a rocky and tedious start, this wide-ranging thriller glides on a fast track under the watch of director Jon M. Chu; some action sequences are the most mesmerizing since Skyfall. The air of testosterone established by Dwayne Johnson, Channing Tatum and Bruce Willis is offset by the dangerously hot Adrianne Palicki, while distinguished Jonathan Pryce (Tomorrow Never Dies and Evita) – with nary a trace of his English accent – serves nicely as the U.S. president.

Perry’s Panache Tyler Perry’s Temptation reiterates the adages “Be careful what you wish for” and “All that glitters isn’t gold,” in the hope they echo in your mind. Jurnee Smollett-Bell (think TV’s Friday Night Lights and Full House) portrays a restless wife who’s tired of working under the thumb of a millionaire matchmaker (Vanessa Williams).

When a slick billionaire bachelor comes along, our heroine can’t resist.

Perry presents a few intuitive moments of probing panache, eventually ambushed by a nasty secret and absurd coincidence the size of Kim Kardashian’s backside. (The reality star surfaces as – what else – a fashion consultant.)

A P R I L 5 – 1 2 | 2 0 1 3 | 27 www.metrotheatres.com

 THE FINAL MET The title InAPPropriate Comedy proves to be half- Opera 2013  right, though the “app” pun within the first word speaks volumes about this would-be laugher’s desperation. It is less a movie than a series of sketches (“vignettes” would be too fancy a word for the lame and idiotic gags), which are cued up by someone’s hand choosing them on a computer tablet.

Ari Shaffir earns the only laughs as the “Amazing Racist,” whose wisecracks are earnestly written and executed with the necessary straight face. He touches on every conceivable stereotype about Jews, blacks, Mexicans, Middle Easterners and Asians; no doubt Children....Seniors SHOWS - ALL DAY - $5.50 Sacha Baron Cohen would be(60+) proud.ALL One wonders why Adrien Brody – who won an Oscar for The Pianist a decade ago – deigned to Adults: Before 6:00 pm - $5.75 After 6:00 pm - $7.50 participate as the hypersexual Flirty Harry. One wonders and cringes.

Saturday - April 27 - 9:00 am Arlington Theatre Presents Handel’s  GIULIO CESARE Do You Know About BARGAIN TUESDAYS? The Best Way to $ave! At All Locations!

3D: Add $3.00 to pricing

•MOVIEFloyd GUIDE• vs. Robert 





























HD LIVE - Las Vegas - on the Big Screen! Now On Sale!

Mayweather

Guerrero

Information Listed for Friday thru Thursday - April 5 - 11

877-789-MOVIE Saturday, Maywww.metrotheatres.com 4 - 6:00 pm

METRO 4

 Denotes ‘SPECIAL ENGAGEMENT’ Restrictions

 THE FINAL MET Opera 2013  FAIRVIEW FIESTA 5 ARLINGTON

Features Stadium Seating 27Courtyard Bar Open Saturday - April - 9:00 am Fri & Sat 5:00 8:30 916 State Street S.B. 225 N. Fairview - Goleta 1317 State Street 963-4408 Arlington Theatre Presents The Most Terrifying Film  JURASSIC PARK (PG-13) You Will Ever Experience!

2D: 6:30 G. I.CESARE JOE:  EVIL  (R) DEADGIULIO Handel’s 3D: 1:30 4:30 7:30 RETALIATION (PG-13) Fri-Sun ADMISSION (PG-13) 4:00 2:00 4:30 7:00 8:15 9:25 3D: Daily - 5:30 Do You Know AboutMon-Thu BARGAIN TUESDAYS? Features Stadium Seating

2D: Fri/Sat & Mon-Thu -

THE CROODS (PG) 2D: 1:20 2:25 4:50 7:15

7:00 At 8:15 All Locations!

The Best Way 2:00 to 4:30 $ave!

2:45 8:00

DreamWorks Animation SunDAY only -- 8:00 Children....Seniors (60+) ALL SHOWS - ALL $5.50 RIVIERA THE CROODS (PG) 2044 Alameda Padre Serra - S.B. 3D:-Daily - 4:15 DE- $7.50 ORO Adults: Before 6:00 pm $5.75 AfterPLAZA 6:00 pm

2D on 2 Screens: 371 Hitchcock Way - S.B. Cannes Film Festival Fri-Sun -to pricing THE SAPPHIRES (PG-13) 3D: Add $3.00 Official Selection!

12:45 1:50 3:10 Fri & Mon-Thu - 7:30  6:40  8:00        5:35 Sat/Sun - 2:15 5:00 7:30 Fri & Mon-Thu 5:00 7:45 HD LIVE - Las Vegas - onMon-Thu the Big Screen! Now On Sale!

NO (R) Sat/Sun - 2:00 5:00 7:45 1:50 3:10 5:35 6:40 8:00 Fri & Mon-Thu - 7:15 Rachel Roberts Sat/Sun - 1:45 4:30 7:15 THE HOST (PG-13) Features Stadium Seating Fri-Sun - 1:00 3:50 6:50 9:35 CAMINO REAL MARKETPLACE Mon-Thu - 2:15 5:00 7:45 Features Stadium Seating Hollister & Storke - GOLETA (R) THE CALL 618 State Street - S.B.  EVIL DEAD (R) Fri-Sun 1:15 3:30 5:45 9:00 12:55 3:10 5:30 7:50 10:10  JURASSIC PARK (PG-13) Mon-Thu - 3:30 5:45 2D: Fri-Sun - 12:45 G. I. JOE: RETALIATION Mon-Thu - 1:50 3D: 3:20 (PG-13) Fri-Sun - 3:40Bar6:30 9:20 3D: Courtyard Features Stadium Seating Features Stadium Seating Open 8 W. De La Guerra Pl. - S.B. 2D on 2 Screens: Mon-Thu 4:40 7:30 Fri & Sat - 5:00 - 8:30 916 Barbara State Street S.B. 225 N. Fairview - Goleta 12:45 2:00 4:30 5:50 Santa Film -Festival 1317 State Street - 963-4408 The Most Terrifying Film (PG-13) G. I. JOE: RETALIATION 7:10 8:30 9:50 Audience Choice Award!  JURASSIC PARK (PG-13) You Will Ever Experience!

3D: Fri-Sun 1:00 (R) STARBUCK 2D: 6:30 (PG) 7:30 2:00 (R) EVIL4:45 DEAD7:30 Mon-Thu - 1:40 3D: 1:30OZ4:30 RETALIATION THE GREAT AND POWERFUL Fri-Sun Fri-Sun - 4:00 6:45 (PG-13) 9:30 2D: Tyler 4:30 Perry’s7:00 TEMPTATION ADMISSION 3D: Fri - 4:00(PG-13) 4:00 2:00 8:15 9:25 3D:Mon-Thu Daily -- 4:15 5:30 7:00 2:30 5:15 8:00 - (PG-13) Sat-Thu - 4:45 Mon-Thu 2D: Fri/Sat & Mon-Thu THE CROODS (PG) 2D: OZ (PG) 2D 2D: Fri - 1:00 7:00 2:00 4:30 7:00 8:15 SPRING BREAKERS (R) 1:20 2:25 4:50 7:15 2:45 8:00 THE GREAT AND POWERFUL Sat-Thu - 1:10 7:40 2:45 5:30 8:15 DreamWorks Animation 8:009:10 Fri-SunSun - 12:30only 3:25- 6:20 THE HOST (PG-13) (PG) THE CROODS Mon-Thu - 1:30 4:25 7:20 ADMISSION (PG-13) 4:10Padre 7:00 20441:20 Alameda Serra9:45 - S.B. 3D: 2:15Daily 7:45- 4:15 (R) OLYMPUS HAS FALLEN 2D on 2 371 Hitchcock Way - S.B. Cannes Festival(R) GINGER & Screens: OLYMPUS Film HAS FALLEN ROSA (PG-13) Fri-Sun 1:15 4:10 7:00 9:40 Fri-Sun THE SAPPHIRES Official 1:40 4:20 Selection!

7:20 10:00 5:00 Mon-Thu - 2:10 5:00 (PG-13) 7:40 12:45 1:50 3:10 Fri & Mon-Thu - 7:30 RENOIR (R) 5:35 6:40 8:00 Sat/Sun - 2:15 5:00 7:30 (R)  RENOIR    

CAMINO REAL



Floyd vs. Robert Mayweather Guerrero METRO 4 Saturday, May 4 - 6:00 pm

METRO 4

FAIRVIEW

FIESTA 5 PASEO NUEVO

ARLINGTON

G. I. JOE:

RIVIERA

PLAZA DE ORO

28 | A P R I L

5 – 1 2 | 2 0 1 3

W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

You Have Your Hands Full

by Mara Peters Former editor for the fashion/lifestyle section of the New York

Post, Mara moved to London and worked as a contributing editor for the Daily Mail’s You Magazine, freelancing for Look Magazine, NY Post and the Style Magazine for The Sunday Times. To remain sane during diaper years she writes a mommy blog, You Have Your Hands Full – www.handsfullsb.com.

Squashing a Pram in the Hall

I

knew I was going to miss that deadline.

It didn’t start that way. I was very optimistic at the beginning of Spring Break; in fact, I thought I’d have the column done early. The kids are older now – I can finish relatively simple tasks while on vacation, I can easily knock out a few hundred words. I figured I’d probably even have time left over to help my mom get some spring cleaning done, plant some flowers, maybe even read a book.

No problem. The column would just take a couple hours leaving me plenty of time for other endeavors.

What can I say? I’m an optimist.

In my mind, I thought I’d figure out what to write about on my drive up to Northern California. We were headed to where I grew up – a farm in West Marin – for the entire week. But as I settled in for the long drive, Jackson, my oldest, blasted “Thrift Shop” by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis.

“I GOT $20 IN MY POCKET,” they were all singing along, not quite in unison and slightly off-key.

“Could you please turn that down?” I asked him curtly. I needed a good idea, and some quiet to flesh it all out. That way, when I hit the farm, the actual drafting would be a breeze.

That’s the way it works for me; I think through what I’m going to write and how, then I sit down and I get it done. No problem.

All I need is a little quiet time to figure it all out.

But without the rap, Teddy’s hamster’s squeaky wheel took over as the tiny beast ran laps. Every time I had a burst of an intriguing storyline or an interesting idea, the noise just erased it. Two hours in, Charlie started asking “Mom, are we almost there?” After eight hours, my

Jackson and Charlie, my (lovely) prams in the hall enjoying Bolinas in West Marin.

mind had shut off. Completely. There was not one original thought rattling around in there. I was functioning simply, just enough to drive the car. I had kicked into survival mode, and column writing, apparently, is not necessary to remaining alive.

Through the moderate degree of chaos, a thought suddenly drifted through my mind and I was able to hold on to it just long enough. English intellectual and writer Cyril Connolly once famously said, “There is no more somber enemy of good art than the pram in the hall.”

I think about that all the time.

Spring Brake For the last six years, I have been working on a life goal of writing a novel.

At this point, I’ve managed to write 13 chapters. Six years. Thirteen chapters. Two chapters and a bit a year. If I broke down how many words per day I have produced, I would breakdown entirely.

there is a better way...

It’s shockingly pathetic.

People excitedly ask me all the time, “Mara, how is the novel going? Can I read your first draft?”

Ugh. I just want them to stop asking at this point.

If I were being honest, I’d say at least it’s gotten better. The stroller is gone, the baby is walking. I get a few mornings a week to myself at Coffee Cat where I settle in a booth with a cappuccino.

Four hours of no distractions sparks the creative ideas and finally I start getting the flow that I’ve been lacking for the last six years. And it’s only then that I recognize the truth: all those years of “squeezing in some writing” while Charlie slept made reaching my goal – the completed novel – almost impossible. You can’t just turn on your creative juices according to a nap schedule (I can’t, anyway).

I was reminded of that simple fact often during Spring Break. My cappuccino mornings disappeared. Yes, the kids are older, but now they want me to “break” with them. “Come on Mom, you have to [do/see/hear this].” “Mommy, mommy, mommy, let’s go [do/see/hear that.]”

After a few days of roaming the fields with them, building forts and catching chickens, the panic settled in. And by breakfast on Thursday, I’d had enough.

The return drive and all the deadlines were looming large.

I acted decisively.

“Okay, guys this is the deal. You have fourteen acres to do whatever you want.

Go out there. I am here to serve you food at lunchtime. I don’t want to see you until then.” I shoved them towards the door.

“What do you mean?” they asked. “We can’t come up to the house?”

“That’s right. House is off limits until lunch. Back when I was growing up, I never saw my parents unless it was meal time. I have things to do – so go. Have fun.”

The four of them put their boots on and headed out the door. I booted the computer with a feeling of some assurance that this column could still make deadline.

But as I stared at the screen, I suddenly felt exhausted, drained.

A moment of despair ensued.

And then a burst. Alpha had been gone on a business trip leaving me on my own.

Maybe I should write a column about

feeling abandoned. (No, I reconsidered, people wouldn’t want to read that.) I stared at the screen hoping for inspiration.

Then another burst. Oh, wait, that wasn’t a burst.

It was a squeaky door. I waited for the inevitable.

“Mom, sorry, just going to the bathroom,” Olivia whispered as she crept into the house.

I waved her off and returned to staring.

Maybe I should write about the farm, experiencing the outdoors – only the kids have been playing Legos for the last four hours in the living room. There are even Legos under my feet. Maybe I should pick them up before I start writing. Someone might get hurt.

“Mom, just need some water,” Jackson said, strutting in. He stopped at the computer and looked. “I thought you said you were writing, Mom. What are you writing about? The screen looks blank.”

Ah, the joys of parenthood.

And so the morning continued and, for that matter, the rest of the vacation went the same way. I finally had to face the truth. This column was simply never going to happen while the kids were home. This is just my reality; there is no break in Spring Break.

It became acutely and painfully clear that I was going to miss that deadline.

I should’ve known.

A (Very) Silver Lining When we returned home to Santa Barbara, just as I was sitting down to write this very column, I finally got the news I’d been waiting for. A publisher is interested in my book. I quickly picked up the phone and made the call, and it went great, right up until the very end.

“So, Mara, can you finish it in the next four months?”

I looked at the school schedule. The kids get out the first week of June. Summer is just around the corner. I’ve written exactly 13 chapters in the last six years.

“Ah, sure, no problem. No problem at all.”

I am completely screwed.

Let’s just hope that my publisher will be as flexible with my book deadlines as this fine publication has proven to be with my column.

Peters’ Pick eco-friendly pain-free newest technology comprehensive general and family dentistry we will change how you feel about going to the dentist! ana r. martinez dds

1187 coast village road suite 11, santa barbara 93108

805. 617. 0686

I

’m not dissing Drea. She runs a spin class like no other at the Y. I’m just saying there is something pretty great out there that’s not dark and mirrored. Make your way to Fastrack Bicycles on Canon Perdido and buy yourself a road bike. Start at Mountain Drive and head up Gibraltar. Maybe the first few times you stop at the modern house on the right, about 20 minutes up. The fresh air is incredible; the affirmation that we live in the most beautiful part of the world, set. And the work out is pretty great. After a month you push to the No Shooting Sign. Longer, harder and better. Then finally you make it to the rock. Now you’re really living.

One hour of your day. 45 minutes up, 15 minutes down. Might even see Drea up there in her free time.

8 0 5 . 8 4 5 .1 6 7 3 | 1 3 3 E A S T D E L A G U E R R A S T R E E T | N O.1 8 2 | S A N TA B A R B A R A

SCENE

GREEN

A True Spring Chicken

S

pring has sprung and everything is blooming and new with babies all around us. We’re big fans of backyard flocks for the incredible compost and yard-tilling ability of hens. And, of course, the deep golden yolk of fresh eggs is hard to beat.

‘Tis the season for growing your brood and Easter presents many opportunities for bringing home your own chicks. While those cute and cuddly peepers are hard to resist, we encourage you to plan ahead for incorporating these ladies into your life long term. The folks at Lompoc’s small, family-owned Dare 2 Dream Farms have a wealth of information and experience to share, as well as chicken-related everything from eggs to chicks to coops.

Women may be difficult to figure out but chicks are easy to care for if you just pay attention to their basic needs.

(No, guys, that’s not enough for most women we know.) Check out www. dare2dreamfarms.com for loads of tips to keep your ladies happy and healthy (and clucking) beyond the spring season. Then go pick up some chicks; you’ll be happy you did!

WINE & DINE

Mummies in the Kitchen

By Eve Sommer-Belin

A

ttention all Mummies out there!

(And we don’t mean the ancient Egyptian ones, we mean Moms!)

We are thrilled to announce that local Mom Marina Delio’s cookbook has been released just this week. What a treat for the eyes and for the palate. The book – The Yummy Mummy Kitchen – stems from her insanely charming website, which goes by the same name. One visit to her site filled with recipes to enjoy with your kids and photos to drool over and you’ll find yourself desperately needing her book. In it, you’ll find recipes to jazz things up in your kitchen and spark creativity for the kids in your life… and even tips on how to get them to eat their greens!

Whether you are a mummy or not, we’re quite certain you’ll enjoy Marina’s inventive recipes and simply perusing through the book’s enchanting pages. Find a copy today locally at Chaucer’s Bookstore or through several online retailers listed on her website. www.yummymummykitchen.com/p/thebook.html And congrats Marina on a job well done!

A P R I L 5 – 1 2 | 2 0 1 3 |

weekend guide

29

by

• LOVE IS FREE

.com

by Courtney Dietz

What: Flip thru Flutter Mag Where: Online at www.FlutterMag.com When: Now thru eternity.

Why: Our sister mag has just released its Spring issue, Full Spring Ahead, featuring our own local blushing bride-to-be Samantha Hutchinson, some sweet treats from renowned pastry chef Elizabeth Colling and much more!

How: Flip thru and fall in love.

What’ll It Cost Me: This love is absolutely free! You can even pick up a print copy next week inside the Santa Barbara Sentinel.

• LOOSE CHANGE What: The $4 Happy Hour Where: SOHO, 1221 State Street When: Every Friday, 5pm - 8pm Why: Good drinks, good eats, good people and even good games (yes, we said games people!) always lead to great times.

How: Have a very happy few hours.

Cheers!

What’ll It Cost Me: Everything is $4!

• HEY BIG SPENDER What: Neighborfood Where: Eight participating restaurants including Arch Rock Fish, Blue Owl and Paradise Café.

When: Sunday, April 7, 2pm – 5pm Why: Get a taste of Santa Barbara!

How: Join your neighbors, follow your dinner map, and wind your way around our foodloving town, stopping at eight different restaurants for great grub and grog.

What’ll It Cost Me: $40 per ticket. Get yours now at www.dishcrawl.com/neighborfoodsb.

30 | A P R I L

5 – 1 2 | 2 0 1 3

W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

REAL ESTATE

2514-2516 Castillo Street

by Michael Calcagno

Michael has consistently been ranked in the top 1% of Sotheby’s agents worldwide. Shortly after joining Sotheby’s, he partnered with Nancy Hamilton to form one of the most successful real estate teams in Santa Barbara. Michael can be reached at Michael@ HomesinSantaBarbara.com

Moving Forward & Upward

T

he past week has shown once again that the market seems to be moving forward quite rapidly as well as showing an upward tick in appreciation. Spring is known as one of the busiest times in our real estate market and, contrary to popular belief, as we move into summer it tends to slow down pushing towards August. This is typically because people are on vacation and families are gearing up for school to start.

While I have a good sense that the market will continue with the phenomenal numbers we have seen since the first of the year, it will be very interesting to watch how the summer plays out. Any guesses out there?

Let’s get to the numbers. This past week in the districts East & West of State Street and Hope Ranch in the prices ranging from $400,000 to $1,700,000, there were 17 new listings, 14 closed listings, and 16 pending sales. Nearly the same amount that came on the market went pending and/or closed. Since last week I did not pull the numbers, let’s look at them for the two-week period. In the same districts and price ranges there were a total of 37 new listings, with 25 closed listings and... wait for it... 37 pending listings. Yup, it’s getting better. Here are a few of the recently closed properties.

Neither Mr. Calcagno nor Sotheby’s International Realty is necessarily the listing broker or agent for any of the foregoing properties

Purchase price: $1,395,000 Down payment (20%): $279,000 Loan amount: $1,116,000 Payment: $5,042 (30-yr fixed 3.55% (3.62% APR))

Property taxes: $1,278 Home Insurance: $100

Total Monthly Payment: $6,420

326 Argonne Circle 730 Flora Vista Drive

Purchase price: $1,150,000 Down payment (20%): $230,000 Loan amount: $901,000 Payment: $4,071 (30-yr fixed 3.55% (3.62% APR))

Property taxes: $1,054 Home Insurance: $100

Total Monthly Payment: $5,225 Mortgage statistics provided by Justin M. Kellenberger, Senior Loan Officer at SG Premier Lending Group, Inc. Justin can always be reached at justin@sgpremierlending.com.

Note: The foregoing economic breakdowns do not include potential tax benefit analyses since that will ultimately depend upon a number of additional factors. But home ownership can indeed have tremendous tax-savings potential and should be considered with your realtor and/or tax accountant as part of the ownership decision.

Purchase price: $775,000 Down payment (15%): $116,250 Loan amount: $658,750 Payment: $3,141 (Rate 3.99% (4.1% APR))

Property taxes: $710 Home Insurance: $80

Total Monthly Payment: $3,931

8 0 5 . 8 4 5 .1 6 7 3 | 1 3 3 E A S T D E L A G U E R R A S T R E E T | N O.1 8 2 | S A N TA B A R B A R A

OPEN HOUSE GUIDE SUNDAY, APRIL 7

A P R I L 5 – 1 2 | 2 0 1 3 |

Downtown

31

18 West Victoria Street #308 12-5pm $2,600,000 2bd/3ba Alma Del Pueblo Sales Team 845-4393 Village Properties 18 West Victoria Street #205 12-5pm $1,459,000 1bd/2ba Alma Del Pueblo Sales Team 845-4393 Village Properties 18 West Victoria Street #307 12-5pm $1,250,000 1bd/2ba Alma Del Pueblo Sales Team 845-4393 Village Properties 18 West Victoria Street #111 12-5pm $875,000 1bd/1ba Alma Del Pueblo Sales Team 845-4393 Village Properties 2108 Chapala Street 1-3pm $819,000 2bd/1ba Jay Krautmann 451-4527 Sotheby’s International Realty 645 Costa Del Mar B 1-5pm $795,000 2bd/2.5ba Mimi Greenberg 703-9585 Prudential California Realty

333 Junipero Plaza 2-4pm $5,750,000 4bd/4.5ba Paul Hurst 680-8216 Prudential California Realty 510 East Micheltorena Street 1-4pm $995,000 3bd/1.5ba The Easter Team 570-0403 Prudential California Realty 498 Scenic Drive 2-4pm $975,000 3bd/2ba Ron Madden 284-4170 Village Properties

610 Del Monte Avenue 1-3pm $689,500 4bd/3ba Debra Stowers 570-8332 Sotheby’s International Realty 1310 Chino Street 1-4pm $675,000 2bd/2ba Brian King 452-0471 Village Properties 1136 Chino Street 1-4pm $595,000 2bd/1ba Brittany Lough 455-5736 Village Properties

1409 Shoreline Drive 1-5pm $5,000,000 4bd/4ba Gene Archambault 455-1190 Sun Coast Realty 1210 Shoreline Drive 1-5pm $3,150,000 3bd/2.5ba Scott Williams 451-9300 Prudential California Realty 945 Vista de Lejos 1-3pm $1,100,000 3bd/2.5ba Carla Reeves 689-7343 Village Properties 907 Fellowship Road 1-4pm $1,025,000 3bd/2.5ba David Lacy 455-7577 Prudential California Realty 1046 Miramonte Drive #10 2-4pm $349,000 1bd/1ba Angela Moloney 451-1553 Prudential California Realty

729 Mission Canyon Road 1-4pm $1,995,000 3bd/3ba Robert Heckes 637-0047 Sotheby’s International Realty 958 Alameda Padre Serra 1-4pm $1,995,000 5bd/3.5ba Mary Whitney 689-0915 Prudential California Realty 1300 Las Alturas Road 1-4pm $1,895,000 3bd/2.5ba Pascale Bassan 689-5528 Prudential California Realty 1020 Newton Road 1-4pm $1,699,000 4bd/3ba Bill Urbany 331-0248 Prudential California Realty 1805 Grand Avenue 2-4pm $895,000 2bd/2ba Fal Oliver 680-6526 Sotheby’s International Realty 429 Alameda Padre Serra 2-5pm $885,000 2bd/2ba Janet Caminite 896-7767 Sotheby’s International Realty 427 Alameda Padre Serra 2-5pm $845,000 2bd/2ba Rich Van Seenus 284-6330 Sotheby’s International Realty 920 Cheltenham Road 2-4pm $749,000 2bd/1ba Francie Berezo 705-2561 Sotheby’s International Realty

606 Calle Granada 2-4pm $1,995,000 5bd/4.5ba Marilyn Rickard 452-8284 Sotheby’s International Realty 3656 Eileen Way 1-4pm $1,187,000 5bd/3ba The Easter Team 570-0403 Prudential California Realty 2905 Calle Noguera 2-4pm $925,000 4bd/2ba Kim Hultgen 895-2067 Village Properties 2745 Miradero Drive 1-4pm $815,000 3bd/2ba Teresa Salvione 570-7812 Prudential California Realty 3040 Lucinda Lane 2-4pm $798,000 3bd/2ba Kathy Strand-Speiler 895-6326 Prudential California Realty 560 Vista Vallejo 1-4pm $699,900 3bd/2ba Lesley Hall 450-8923 Village Properties 3920 Calle Cita 1-3pm $699,000 2bd/1ba Madhu Khemani 252-0625 Prudential California Realty 3639 San Remo Drive #36 2-4pm $525,000 2bd/2ba Isaac Garrett 452-2051 Prudential California Realty

530 Via Sinuosa 2-5pm $2,950,000 4bd/3ba Pamela Regan & Laura Johnson 895-2760 Village Properties 3938 Laguna Blanca Drive 1-4pm $2,795,000 4bd/3ba Lori Ebner 729-4861 Prudential California Realty 1212 Bel Air Drive 1-4pm $1,795,000 5bd/4ba Joan Roberts 448-0526 Village Properties 275 Las Palmas 2-4pm $1,425,000 5bd/3ba Shandra Campbell 8861176 Village Properties 4641 Camino Del Robles 1-4pm $1,190,000 5bd/2ba Sheela Hunt 698-3767 Village Properties 4400 Shadow Hills Circle Unit B 2-4pm $895,000 2bd/2ba Pamela Taylor 895-6541 Sotheby’s International Realty

1200 North San Marcos Road 1-4pm $6,495,000 3bd/3ba Adam McKaig 452-6884 Sotheby’s International Realty 5666 Via Trento 1-4pm $999,950 4bd/2.5ba Charley Pavlosky 683-7357 Village Properties 528 San Blas Place 2-4pm $999,000 4bd/3ba Rose Van Schaik 452-2051 Prudential California Realty 12 Touran Lane

By Appt. $969,000 4bd/3ba Julie Angelos 403-5566 Prudential California Realty 6970 Scripps Crescent Drive 1-4pm $797,000 3bd/2ba Brooke Ebner 453-7071 Prudential California Realty 5493 Agana Drive 2-4pm $759,000 4bd/2ba Michael Pearl 637-6888 Sotheby’s International Realty 213 Hillview Drive 1-4pm $749,000 4bd/2.5ba John Bahura 680-5175 Village Properties 5057 Del Monaco Road 2-4pm $629,000 3bd/2ba Kellie Roche 705-5334 Prudential California Realty 313 Moreton Bay Lane #5 2-4pm $264,000 1bd/1ba Michael Pearl 637-6888 Sotheby’s International Realty 31 Dearborn Pl #28 2-4pm $249,900 1bd/1ba Liana Decierdo 729-2991 Village Properties

Eastside

West Side Mesa

Riviera

San Roque

La Cumbre Area

Goleta

Member FDIC

Exceeding Expectations in Your Neighborhood

Adam Black | VP, Senior Loan Officer 805.452.8393 | ablack@bankofmanhattan.com

NOTAbLE OCEANfRONT ESTATE | WEb: 0592563 | $32,000,000 Michael Calcagno 805.896.0876, Nancy Hamilton 805.451.4442

gLASS PAvILION | WEb: 0113311 | $13,990,000 Suzanne Perkins 805.895.2138

bIRNAm WOOD | WEb: 0113643 | $5,375,000 Suzanne Perkins 805.895.2138

LOCAL EXPERTISE. EXTRAORDINARY RESULTS. Our agents are skilled professionals with local knowledge and a dedication to high-quality service for every client.

They take great pleasure in discovering the aspects that make each home unique.

fAbULOUS vIEWS | WEb: 0631883 | $3,995,000 Robert Hanrahan 805.698.2826

STYLISh CRAfTSmAN | WEb: 0113660 | $3,595,000 Lisa Loiacono 805.452.2799

OCEAN & mOUNTAIN vIEWS | WEb: 0113601 | $2,995,000 Tim Cardy 805.637.0878

PRESTIgIOUS SAN ROqUE | WEb: 0113665 | $1,995,000 Marilyn Rickard 805.452.8284

TASTEfULLY UPDATED | WEb: 0592556 | $980,000 Michael Calcagno 805.896.0876, Nancy Hamilton 805.451.4442

429 ALAmEDA PADRE SERRA | WEb: 0113676 | $885,000 Janet Caminite 805.896.7767

SANTA bARbARA AREA bROkERAgES | sothebyshomes.com mONTECITO COAST vILLAgE ROAD bROkERAgE | mONTECITO UPPER vILLAgE bROkERAgE SANTA bARbARA bROkERAgE | SANTA YNEz vALLEY bROkERAgE Operated by Sotheby’s International Realty, Inc.

OPeN SuN. 2 - 5

OCEAN vIEW ShOWCASE | WEb: 0592554 | $4,675,000 Nancy Hamilton 805.451.4442, Michael Calcagno 805.896.0876

OPeN SuN. 2 - 5

gATED mONTECITO ESTATE | WEb: 0631994 | $4,850,000 Ron Dickman 805.689.3135

427 ALAmEDA PADRE SERRA | WEb: 0113675 | $845,000 Janet Caminite 805.896.7767