“TIME TO DELIVER” by Montecito Journal

BIRD BRAINS

NEIGHBORHOODS USA

CROWS HAVE LONG MEMORIES, HOLD GRUDGES, TRAVEL IN PACKS AND CAN PICK YOU OUT in A CROWD, P. 22

MILPAS AREA UP FOR NEIGHBORHOOD OF THE YEAR 2013; FAMILY-OWNED BUSINESSES, IMPRESSIVE LOCAL ART WORK, GREAT FOOD, GREAT COFFEE, AND GRAFfITI REMOVAL ALL MAKE IT WORK, P. 12

THE BEE MAN

PAUL CRONSHAW NEVER LEAVES HOME WITHOUT BEE TOOLS AND BEE GEAR, A LITTLE PROPOLIS AND A WHOLE LOT OF APICULTURAL KNOW-HOW, P. 23

SANTA BARBARA

once a week from pier to peak

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“TIME TO DELIVER”

by Wendy Jenson

Hotel on the Hill

ORIENT-EXPRESS MAKEOVER OF EL ENCANTO’S RESTAURANT FEATURES DIANE VON FURSTENBERG WATER, CHARLES ARNOLDI ART AND PATRICE MARTINEAU’S MENU 8 DAYS A WEEK PAGE 10

PRESIDIOSPORTS PAGE 16

THE BEER GUY PAGE 9

l Encanto is hard to find, even for Santa Barbarans. The roads leading to the Riviera hotel are winding. If you want to feel like you’re driving in the Monaco Grand Prix, take Alameda Padre Serra from Salinas Street. Approaching from the Mission is an easier drive as less time is spent on twisting APS. Either way, turn uphill onto Lasuen Road and the newly reopened historic hotel beckons. Kudos to Orient-Express Hotels, Ltd. on a sensational renovation. Seven years and $134 million were spent restoring the 92-bungalow property to glorious effect. The vibe – ultra stylish lounge – and the terrace alone are worth the drive. Dapper Don Draper would look at home here. Sitting on the patio is akin to “glamping,” the beauty of the outdoors with the comforts of indoors. Soft blankets are offered to anyone who looks cold. The heat lamps are plentiful and attractive, resembling giant white vases. It’s easy to relax when you’re sitting on a couch with pillows… at a restaurant. Even the water is chic. Designed by Diane Von Furstenberg, the bottle features her heart DVF logo and the ...continued p.8

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Content

COVER

The Dish – Wendy Jenson spends some time up at the recently re-opened El Encanto Hotel and gets wined and dined by Chef Patrice Martineau. Let’s just say that she seemed to enjoy herself… a lot.

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Sentinel’s Take – Our cover on the “Homeless Bill of Rights” sure stirred the proverbial pot last week, so we decided to publish the first two section of California AB 5 so readers could have a look and decide for themselves. Have fun.

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It’s Crime Time – What’s the connection between drugged up retired bankers, telemarketers, Swiss computer programmers and the fiery brimstone of Satan’s hell? Read Crime Time this week and maybe you’ll be able to figure it out. We can’t.

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Letters to the Editor – The Sentinel is mean and nasty and EIC Matt is a “profoundly qualified douchebag.” There’s other stuff, too, but we are just tickled to have the opportunity to publish the term “douchebag.”

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The Beer Guy – Zach Rosen spends way too much money on a single bottle of unpronounceable Belgian beer called Drie Fonteinen Oude Geuze Golden Blend. What the hell is that? Does it taste like a $1 Budweiser? PBR? Come on, Zach, don’t go getting all weird on us.

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Eight Days A Week – Jeremy Harbin fills his week with a bunch of art, music and food. Find him at Soul Fried Summer at 7 Bar and Kitchen this Sunday. He’ll have an 805 in one hand and a fried chicken and waffle in the other. Santa Barbara View – Milpas-Eastside is up for a national Neighborhood of the Year Award and that’s pretty damned cool; candidates spend too much money on local elections (shocking!); and the 2013 Women of Achievement Awards will soon be presented, as will Dr. Kyre Adept’s new cookbook.

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Ask Jason

Have home energy questions? emPowerSBC’s Energy Coach Jason Scheurer is a free and trusted resource for Santa Barbara County homeowners. Jason is available to: • Provide expert advice on home energy efficiency • Conduct a site visit to evaluate your home and recommend solutions • Help you take advantage of emPowerSBC incentives

If you are looking to make home energy upgrades, contact Jason today

Call or email Jason at (805) 568-3514 or emPowerSBC@co.santa-barbara.ca.us

www.emPowerSBC.org

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Presidio Sports – Brian “Chuckie” Roth is named coach of SBCC’s new women’s aquatics program; local NBA star Julyan Stone develops a scholarship for area youths; Dons can’t get it done in men’s volleyball championships (but great season anyway, guys); and Hoka One One distance running shoes may help you log more miles. Man About Town – Mark Léisuré likes Ojai and music and food and booze. Do you? (Spoiler alert: You should, there’s some great stuff coming up in the lovely little town, and it ain’t just the OVI.)

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Girl About Town – Julie Bifano checks out the Wings of Freedom Tour up at the Santa Barbara Airport and finds more than she bargained for (including a genuine appreciation for WWII veterans). Mad Science – Rachelle Oldmixon is afraid of birds. Not all birds, mind you, just the smart ones. Are you? (Maybe you should be… because they are after us.) In the Garden with Mr. Greenjeans – Randy Arnowitz spends a day learning all things bees with the wildly popular Paul Cronshaw, aka The Bee Man. (We understand that Paul recently helped EIC Matt and his family with their backyard hive.)

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Mazza’s Missive – Editor-in-Chief Matt Mazza does his first ever endurance challenge, er, ah, “workout,” around the south coast. Did he make it? Did he not? How much chicken was eaten? Beer consumed? Did he die from exhaustion? Did he kill his partner? How does Stevie Wonder fit into all this?

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Faces of Santa Barbara – Patricia Clarke likes to take pictures of people. We here at the Sentinel like people, and pictures of them. Thus, ipso facto, we like Patricia and her column.

Pump It – What the hell is a Tabata Workout, anyway? Stop being scared, talk to Jenny and find out. It’s time to get fit, folks. Summer is officially here.

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Keepin’ It Reel – Summer blockbuster season is upon us, and Jim Luksic is ready for it. Hey Jim, is that new Stars Wards movie any good? Do people still actually like Star Trek? Are there no more original sci-fi flicks? We have this idea for a script…

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Plan B – Briana Westmacott’s column this week is essentially a classified advertisement for babysitters. And she’ll need them too – one of her top two sitters is hitting the road for Cal. And nobody she knows is willing to share their sitters’ numbers. (Parenthood is weird, right?) L OVEmikana – Delightful fresh bread and expensive doggie stuff. And the Memorial Day Weekend Guide is expanded and long, like a recently baked baguette that your dog can’t wait to eat. (That almost makes no sense. Almost.) Residential Real Estate – Houses, numbers and trends. Mike and Justin are quite a pair, and like to spend their spare time together sword fighting and jousting. (In preparation for that affinity they share for Renaissance Fairs we mentioned last week. Charge, boys, charge!)

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take

California Assembly Bill 5:

Homeless Bill of Rights Or Wrongs?

here was quite a bit of strong local opinion both in favor of and in opposition to San Francisco Assemblyman Tom Ammiano’s “Homeless Person’s Bill of Rights” after we put it on our cover last week. (Just read this week’s letters section or the comments on Santa Barbara View.) In fact, the Sentinel and columnist Sharon Byrne (who raised the issue for readers) are suddenly the subject of a purported Craigslist boycott by somebody called Boycott Boy. Wow. So much for the freedom to raise different perspectives in the proverbial marketplace of ideas. Don’t worry, though, we’re not deterred. Not in the slightest. In fact, we thought it best for Sentinel readers to have a look and decide for themselves whether Ammiano’s approach is satisfactory. And so, without further ado, here’s Sections 1 and 2 of AB 5, as recently amended, for your reading pleasure. SECTION 1. This act shall be known and may be cited as the Homeless Person’s Bill of Rights and Fairness Act. SECTION 2. The Legislature finds and declares all of the following: (a) In the State of California, there has been a long history of discriminatory laws and ordinances that have disproportionately affected people with low incomes and who are without homes, including, but not limited to, all of the following: (1) Jim Crow laws: After the Civil War, many states, especially in the south, passed laws denying African Americans basic human rights. In California, these laws also targeted Chinese immigrants. In San Francisco, Chinese residents were forced to live in one area of the city. The same segregation laws also prohibited interracial marriage between Chinese and non-Chinese persons. (2) Ugly laws: In 1867, San Francisco was the first city in the country to pass a law making it illegal for people with “unsightly or disgusting” disabilities to appear in public. In many cities, these laws persisted until the 1970s. (3) Anti-Okie laws: In 1937, California passed an Anti-Okie law that criminalized “bringing or assisting in bringing” extremely poor people into the state. The United States Supreme Court struck down the law in 1941, when it declared that these laws are in violation of the commerce clause, and therefore unconstitutional. (4) Sundown town ordinances: Town policies and real estate covenants were aimed at preventing minorities, homeless persons, and other persons considered to be socially undesirable from remaining within city limits after sunset. Thousands of these towns existed prior to the federal Civil Rights Act of 1968, which made these ordinances and covenants illegal. (5) Vagrancy laws: Vagrancy laws have been held to be discriminatory on their face because they criminalize a person’s status rather than a behavior. Nevertheless, these laws existed in California until the Legislature revised them in 1961. (b) Act of living ordinances, often known as “quality of life ordinances” and other similar ordinances, are the modern reincarnations of laws of this kind. They are designed to force homeless people to flee local jurisdictions. These local ordinances result in de facto segregation as homeless people are forced out of specific jurisdictions or out of specific neighborhoods within jurisdictions. These practices tend to condemn large groups of inhabitants to dwell in segregated districts or under depressed living conditions that result in crowded, unsanitary, substandard, and unhealthful accommodations. Furthermore, these policies result in criminalization of homeless persons who do not choose, or are unable, to migrate. (c) Today, in the state, many people are denied the following: (1) Housing due to their status of being homeless, living in a shelter, a vehicle, the street, or the public domain. (2) Employment due to their current status of being homeless or living in a shelter or a vehicle on the street. (3) Housing and employment as a result of not having a fixed or residential mailing address or having a post office box as a mailing address. (4) Equal protection of the laws and due process by law enforcement and prosecuting agencies. (5) The ability to make certain purchases or enter certain contests as a result of not having a fixed or residential mailing address or having a post office box as a mailing address. (6) Access to safe, clean restrooms, water, and hygienic supplies necessary to maintain health, safety, and dignity, especially with the proliferation of closures of public restrooms. (d) Homeless persons are unfairly targeted by law enforcement, often resulting in the violation of homeless persons’ constitutional rights. Lacking the resources necessary to obtain adequate legal representation, homeless persons are often denied relief or damages through the courts. (e) Homeless persons rarely have access to shelters, and when shelter is available, its conditions can be so poor as to jeopardize their health and physical and mental safety. (f) Homeless persons are often forced to separate from loved ones, give up their personal property, abandon pets, and make other inhumane choices in order to access even minimal shelter.

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(g) Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, gender nonconforming, and queer individuals often are forced to accept inappropriate or unsafe accommodations to access publicly funded emergency shelters. (h) Children in homeless families are denied the ability to continue receiving education in their preferred school if their family’s shelter lies outside the boundaries of their former district. (i) At the present time, many persons have been rendered homeless as a result of a deep and prolonged economic recession, a severe shortage of safe and affordable housing, a failed mental health system, and a shrinking social safety net. (j) Section 1 of Article I of the California Constitution provides that “[a]ll people are by nature free and independent and have inalienable rights. Among these are enjoying and defending life and liberty, acquiring, possessing, and protecting property, and pursuing and obtaining safety, happiness, and privacy.” (k) Subdivision (a) of Section 7 of Article I of the California Constitution provides, in part, that “[a] person may not be deprived of life, liberty, or property without due process of law or denied equal protection of the laws... .” (l) Concordant with this fundamental belief, a person should not be subject to discrimination based on his or her housing status, income level, mental or physical disability, sexual orientation, gender identity, citizenship, or immigration status. Therefore, it is the intent of the Legislature in enacting this act to protect the rights of all Californians, regardless of their housing status, and to ameliorate the adverse effects of homelessness on people who have no home and on our communities. (m) It is the intent of the Legislature to enact legislation that would require all state agencies to use the same definition for “homeless persons or people” as follows: (1) “Homeless” means those individuals or families who lack or are perceived to lack a fixed, regular, and adequate nighttime residence, or who have a primary nighttime residence in a shelter, on the street, in a vehicle, in an enclosure or structure that is not authorized or fit for human habitation. (2) “Homeless” also means a person whose only residence is a residential hotel or who is residing anywhere without tenancy rights, and families with children staying in a residential hotel whether or not they have tenancy rights. (n) It is the intent of the Legislature that publicly funded social and health care services be offered in a sufficient quantity to meet the population’s needs, without barriers, including geographical barriers, such as making locations inconvenient or creating screen-out barriers, or prohibiting access due to a person’s inability to provide identification or criminal justice history, or disability, in order that persons are reasonably able to reach and use that service.

If you’re interested in more, it’s pretty fascinating to see the rest of the bill as well as legislative comments and where the bill started pre-amendment. You can find that and more by googling “California Assembly Bill 5 2013.” Have fun.

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It'sCrimetime...

needed money.” (Oh, the humanity. Maybe SBPD should’ve just let her go. Wait, check that, she has a home in Goleta. Forget it, lock her up.)

...with the SBPD Incredible Lush Has Three Beers

A variety of crimes are committed every day in Santa Barbara; most of these crimes are petty but they do offer a window into if not the soul of the perpetrator, at least his or her thought process. Our following (and totally unsolicited) thoughts, observations, and comments are put forth for your consideration.

Drunken Churchgoer Disturbs Congregation And Goes Straight To Hell

highly intoxicated 48-year-old Santa Barbara man harassed a group of peaceful, saintly folk as they left church last Sunday afternoon, cursing and challenging them to fight. Unfortunately, just before SBPD arrived on the scene to detain the man for public intoxication, the earth shook violently, split, and swallowed him whole down into the burning depths of hell. A devout middle-aged woman named Enid Strict was overheard saying, “Well, isn’t that special? Wonder who that drunken sinner was… hmmm, could it have been… SATAN?!” She refused to comment further.

Retired Banker Proves Old Habits Die Hard, Tests Positive For Coke, Meth And Weed A 74-year-old retired banker tested positive for cocaine, methamphetamine and marijuana after being detained one night last week for “causing a disturbance” with a two-foot long “contractor-style metal spike” on East Anapamu Street. The man crumbled under tough interrogation by SBPD, admitting that the spike was made of solid gold and encrusted with rare gemstones he purchased with the last bonus he received before being forced into retirement after his firm discovered it was totally and completely bankrupt – morally and otherwise – due to hugely risky and largely incomprehensible transactions involving other people’s money that were conceived during drug coated weekends in the Hamptons. In a related story, financial stocks inexplicably soared again today.

Female Motel Guest Robs Motel Clerk; She’s Found In Her Motel Room After Exhaustive (Wo)Manhunt A 21-year-old Goleta resident stole $60 from the clerk at the Santa Barbara motel where she was staying. SBPD responded to the high priority crime forthwith, immediately mobilizing not just one but two officers in an effort to snuff the woman out from hiding. Terrific sleuthing led them right to her, upstairs from the clerk in her motel room, doing heroin. When asked why she’d stolen the money from the clerk, the woman's response provided profound insight into the criminal mind: “Because I

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Columnists

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And Passes Out On Sidewalk

SBPD found a 42-year-old Santa Barbara man passed out at 1:45am last weekend on a busy Westside sidewalk. “I had three beers,” he slurred thickly, after being questioned by officers. Sure dude, we believe you. Was each one a full pony keg?

Local Woman Has Single Worst Hair Day… Ever A 51-year-old Santa Barbara woman entered a downtown salon at 11am, knocked over a display, sat on the floor and began yelling at working hairstylists. It was difficult to understand the woman due to her abnormally high level of intoxication for a workday morning, but, apparently, she didn’t like her cut, color and permanent wave very much. You know what they say about haircuts, though: The difference between a good one and a bad one is three weeks, a fifth of bathtub gin and some jail time.

Local Medical Assistant Cannot Produce Prescription For Meth A 40-year-old female medical assistant was spotted arguing with her boyfriend and, after consenting to a search, was found to be in possession of both a nasty, germ-covered meth pipe and a bag of toxic crystal meth. (Nice.) Although one might think that a medical assistant might be able to produce a prescription for just about any drug on the planet, she couldn’t and was arrested. In a related story, the entire Sentinel staff has cancelled its medical and dental insurance and vowed never to engage with the western medical-industrial complex ever, ever again. Or at least until human resources starts doing a better job of screening medical assistants.

Local Telemarketer Arrested After Obviously Going Into Store To Steal Things, Obviously A 24-year-old telemarketer with a promising career in telemarketing ahead of him was arrested for theft after he was seen attempting to steal a few hats and other clothing articles from a State Street shop. He’d picked up a plastic bag from the ground before entering the store, and then filled it with goods he wanted but couldn’t pay for before trying to just walk out. When asked by SBPD whether he’d entered store with intent to steal, he responded, “I was obviously going into the store to steal things.” Obviously. Aren’t all telemarketers thieves? (Ok, that was a little harsh and uncalled for. Sorry telemarketers, but please just take us off your list. Seriously.)

Non-Homeless Man Arrested For Public Intoxication And Sleeping On Public Bench; Ammiano Considers Non-Homeless Bill Of Rights A 21-year-old Santa Barbara man was arrested for public intoxication after he was found sleeping on a public bench on State Street at 1:45am last weekend. San Francisco Assemblyman Tom Ammiano was overheard the next morning talking about his plan to soon introduce a “Non-Homeless Bill of Rights,” which apparently provides extensive legal protections for drunk people with houses who want to spend the night on the street either because they can’t find their way home or so they don’t have to go home and face their significant others. A coalition of right-wing liberal sympathizers and left-wing conservative activists set forth plans to poll their constituencies to determine whether to support or oppose the bill.

Swiss Computer Programmer Arrested For Public Intoxication And Sleeping On Sidewalk; Ammiano Considers Non-Homeless Swiss Computer Programmer Bill Of Rights A 23-year-old Swiss programmer with a home in Goleta was arrested for public intoxication after he was found sleeping on State Street at 3:30am last weekend. San Francisco Assemblyman Tom Ammiano was overheard the next morning talking about his plan to soon introduce a “Non-Homeless Swiss Computer Programmer Bill of Rights,” which apparently provides extensive legal protections for Swiss computer programmers with houses who want to spend the night on the street either because they can’t find their way home or so they don’t have to go home and face their significant others. Conservative socially left-leaning members of the Republican Party quickly reached across the aisle to their liberal fiscally right-leaning Democrat counterparts and endorsed the plan. Independents followed suit. Libertarians weren’t made aware of the issue. Ok, all right... we’re done. Be good out there this week, folks.

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Letters

Although you might not believe it, we actually want to hear from you. So if you have something you think we should know about or you see something we've said that you think is cretinous (or perspicacious, to be fair), then let us know. There's no limit on words or subject matter, so go ahead and let it rip to: Santa Barbara Sentinel, Letters to the Editor, 133 East De La Guerra Street, No. 182, Santa Barbara, California 93101. You can also leap into the 21st century and email us at letters@santabarbarasentinel.com.

The Sentinel Is Mean and Nasty

believe you may well have the most mean-spirited newspaper in America. To find worse I’d probably have to go to North Carolina or Louisiana or one of those other states I’m sure most Barbarians would shudder to even consider visiting. Your cover story by Sharon Byrne, a woman who claims to be a homeless advocate, spoke of “wrong headed rights” was one of the most overtly anti-homeless things I have ever read. You may begin to realize why we homeless people (yes, I am one too) don’t particularly trust our advocates and would rather try and take care of ourselves than grovel and beg to be let into a shelter that often serves terrible food and will send you out the door with a case of body lice and a bad cough. Mrs. Byrne quotes another homeless person as saying, “We who were born here... would like these aggressive outsiders to go away and leave SB forever.” To which she replies “Amen, Jose.” Well I am so desperately sorry that Santa Barbara couldn’t be taken up pristine by a magical bubble into space like Hugh Jackman in The Fountain and exist in perfection where the only people who were allowed there were born there. Sorry, but welcome to America, we’re all supposed to be one big country here. Crazy idea, I know. In addition to that, your crime page has seven out of ten crimes stories as being committed by homeless people. Do homeless people really commit 70% of the crimes in SB? Or are those just the ones you feel okay about making fun of? I didn’t ask for this. I lost my car which cost me my job which cost me my apartment. I couldn’t get a new job in this economy. After overhearing a man get stabbed to death in Whittier I decided to look for greener pastures. I pushed a grocery cart over 100 miles and through a mountain pass to see if I could improve my circumstance by becoming part of this community. So sorry about that. But don’t worry, I know exactly how much you hate me, I feel it in the casual disdain a segment of the population gives me absolutely every single day. I can feel it when the cops stare at me while driving by, or when I find out my friend Lawrence Bauman is dead or hear that Jerry Cox got tazed for checking the doors of his own car. Believe me, we know how much you hate us. I become a wanted criminal every time I go to sleep. Keeping clean was a real issue until I figured out how to make enough money to keep a gym membership. I make that money by working at something I got a college degree for. Again, I would

like to apologize to the community for bringing my economic downturn here with me, and my skills as a gourmet chef. It must be so hard for all of you to deal with me. I feel so bad about trying to stay warm and fed. If you don’t care about the homeless having access to hygiene centers and laundry and a place to sleep for their own sake, then you should want it for yours. It still makes you a profoundly qualified douchebag, but your desire not to see desperate, filthy, hungry, angry homeless people at every turn might be solved if we could get a shower or catch a nap somewhere. But Santa Barbara has decided that authoritarian brutality, insular provincialism and criminalization of sleep will be just the ticket to make all these terrible “outsiders” go away. So far, it’s working like gangbusters. Right? Mac McGill, Aggressive Outsider Santa Barbara (Editor’s Note: Geez, Mac, I go to Napa for a weekend and we’re the “most mean-spirited newspaper in America.” On par with those terrible folks from “North Carolina and Louisiana.” (Your frankly absurd generalization, not mine.) And here I thought we were being rather positive and openly discussing issues that often don’t get much play. Oh well, I’ve been wrong before. Let’s get to the meat of the matter. I’ve read Ms. Byrne’s piece in last week’s issue, of course, and totally disagree with your position that it is one of the “most overtly anti-homeless things” ever. Ms. Byrne’s point, as I read it, is that Tom Ammiano’s “Homeless Person’s Bill of Rights and Fairness Act” is misguided and “takes brass knuckles to successful municipal programs that actually help the homeless, but puts forward nothing to replace them.” In other words, she is in fact standing up and raising her voice in support of an alternative methodology for addressing what is, from any perspective (except yours, I guess), a growing challenge for people in Santa Barbara. Come to think of it, I have an idea: Why don’t we spend a bit more time and effort trying to address problems with the County’s dysfunctional Alcohol, Drug and Mental Health Services Department as well as with the shelters you raised rather than passing new laws that will cost untold millions of dollars and do little, frankly, beyond significantly increase the likelihood of all sorts of ridiculous and expensive litigation involving municipalities and homeless persons? Don’t we already have federal and state level civil rights laws about all this, anyway? (Yes is the answer. See, for example, the Equal Protection Clause of the Fourteenth Amendment

and California Civil Code Section 51; there are lots of others.) Don’t we want to incentivize people to get clean and find work and housing and medical care and be self-sufficient? That’s what I was taught as a kid. And it’s what I’m teaching my kids. Am I the only person who sees it this way? I’m not insensitive or compassionless. I’m genuinely sorry for your circumstances. I pay my taxes. I volunteer. I have a father who died on the streets from the “diseases of alcoholism and drug addiction” and I have a sister (not the one in town) who spent time on the streets too. But what about taking at least some responsibility? And what about acting respectfully and lawfully when living in kids’ parks and public bathrooms and the other spaces paid for by taxpayers? How about going to an AA meeting and getting cleaned up? How about not calling me a jerk for not giving you money on State Street when I am walking with my daughters? Maybe that’s just too much to ask. I’m all for thoughtful solutions that have the potential to actually be effective, Mac, but the bottom line is that I don’t see Ammiano’s hair-brained “Bill of Rights” as the ticket in that regard. If you haven’t read it – apparently you haven’t – I invite you to do so. We’ve published the first couple sections of the bill, as recently amended, on page 5. As for Crime Time, we go through dozens of police reports every week to put the column together. And, while I have no hard statistics, I can say that our overwhelming experience is that SBPD is largely a babysitter of drunken and drugged up homeless people (and college kids, to be fair). So as long as certain homeless folks – not all of them, I don’t mean to make a large and inaccurate generalization – continue constantly getting wasted, harassing people and committing dangerous crimes here in town, we will keep writing about them. But that’s just me talking, and I’m a “profoundly qualified douchebag.” Or a

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hardworking owner of two businesses with heaps of responsibility that I take seriously who isn’t filled with self-pity and loathing but who continues to push and try to provide a decent life for my family while doing good for my community and taking a positive, optimistic outlook. Oh well, Mac, I guess everybody has an opinion. Thanks for reading. – MSM)

Unlikely Friends? Hi Matt, once again it’s me, Jose, and this time I am responding not only to Sharon Byrne’s article in last week’s Sentinel on AB 5 (Homeless Bill of Rights), but also to Loretta Redd’s article (Fighting Crime with Caffeine). I’ll start with Ms. Byrne’s article. When I first heard about AB 5 a couple of weeks ago, and read it in the local daily, I thought to myself, “Great, now a little less stress for me to find a place to sleep.” And, of course, I have met some homeless individuals who are in favor of the Bill. Wonderful, now we will have some rights. So when I read Ms. Byrne’s perspective on this issue, I said to myself, “Whoa... hold on there! What y’all mean we don’t have rights?” So I read it a couple of more times to get a better understanding of where she was coming from. I do agree with everything she says but one thing. I do think it is a good idea to have Health and Hygiene centers available 24/7. It will make it easier for many of us homeless individuals to get cleaned up. But they will need to be monitored carefully to prevent drunkeness, drugs and fighting, and to be sure that they actually remain sanitary. Location will be important too. The downtown area is not a good idea. Finally, yes, Ms. Byrne, it would be an honor and a privilege to talk over a cup of coffee. Matt has my email address. Hope ...continued p.14

Spring in for Dinner Simple. Rustic. California. Now serving Dinner, Wed-Sat at 5:30 pm 1114 State Street, Suite 18 – in the La Arcada Plaza 805.965.1730 | www.stateandfig.com

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...continued from cover Roasted Colorado Lamb Loin is served with Sansho pepper-rhubarb compote, crispy pistachio gnocchi, baby baked tomatoes, and cumin confit carrots; $36. Don’t be fooled: Sansho “pepper” is a lemony Japanese seasoning that can numb the mouth.

The Crab Charlotte starter is soybean-wasabi mousseline, baked sweet tomatoes, and the world’s thinnest slice of melba toast; $22.

Strawberry Panna Cotta, a chilled Italian custard, comes with yuzu (citrus) sorbet and tiny rice crispy marshmallow squares; $10.

The glassware in the private Wine Room is almost (but not quite) too pretty to use.

A black baby grand piano is just out of view in this shot of the groovy Lounge.

deep mantra, “Water is life is love is life is water…” The fabulous Vik Firth stainless steel salt and pepper mills could sell in the gift shop. They’re actually available at Williams-Sonoma. The tailored dresses worn by female staffers (from Fred Kemmerling hospitality Apparel Group in Los Angeles) could also be sold in a gift store, in a different fabric of course. The artwork is museum quality. Created on a silk screen with diamond dust, an abstract piece by Damien Hirst (depicting butterfly wings) is by the concierge desk. A painting by California abstract artist Charles Arnoldi commands the entrance to The Dining Room. How great is the attention to detail here? A stool is brought to the table so your purse doesn’t have to sit on the floor. The ice cubes are perfectly sized for Scotch drinkers who want one perfect rock. Powerful Celestron telescopes enable guests to star gaze and do a little spying. Fittingly for the haute hotel, Executive Chef Patrice Martineau hails from Troyes, France, in the ChampagneArdenne region. Hired in November, he had five months to ready the menu for the March 2013 reopening. He visited

Nicely crunchy (won’t cut your gums) bread served with butter logs: Échiré French and pink peppercorn.

local farmers and purveyors, learned the Santa Barbara palate, and sampled the competition. He cites Lucky’s as having a great concept, well executed. “Now it’s time to deliver. But I’m used to pressure,” he says, referring to arriving at Daniel in New York City many years ago. When Patrice came to the States and Daniel Boulud’s French restaurant (with three Michelin stars), he knew only basic kitchen terms in English. He’s now trilingual speaking French, English, and Japanese (more on that later), and married to Hilary, the woman who arranged his visa at Daniel. Their 10-year-old son Lucas wants to be a chef “like you, daddy.” Growing up, Patrice wanted to be a pastry chef. Inspired at age eight, he put ketchup in the breakfast waffles to his family’s dismay. “It had a surprisingly nice smoky tomato taste,” he insists. At 16, he started an apprenticeship alternating one week in school with three weeks cooking at a restaurant. El Encanto’s menu is clearly influenced by Patrice’s prior gig at The Peninsula Tokyo. “My style of presentation was influenced

by Japan,” says Chef Patrice. “It’s clean and beautiful rather than everything at once in the middle of the plate.” In Tokyo, he loved shopping in the biggest fish market in the world, where he purchased pricy sea urchin from Santa Barbara. At El Encanto, local sea urchin comes with butter toasts and condiments; $28. Spice Glazed Kurobuta Pork Loin is crispy pork belly with plum marmalade, black garlic mashed potatoes, and grilled chorizo mousseline; $34. In Japan, Kurabuta “black hog” is prized, much like Kobe beef. Grilled Kobe-style New York Strip is served with crispy potatoes, tomato Béarnaise and French beans; $48. Confit Jidori Chicken Breast is served with Provençale vegetables, baked red onion, crispy chickpea fries, and warm green olive vinaigrette; $28. Jidori is a fresh, free-range chicken common in Japan. Portions are small on these complicated and pretty dishes. Take note: Bills ring up quickly, especially if you’re having cocktails.

The private Wine Room, located off the Dining Room, is exceptionally pretty. It sits two to 14 persons and is available for $165 per diner no matter the number. Souvenir menus are part of the Wine Room experience. Enchanting El Encanto is located at 800 Alvarado Place. Breakfast is served from 7am to 11am, lunch from 11:30am to 2pm, and dinner from 5:30pm to 10pm; 805-845-5800; elencanto.com. Sunday Brunch is served from 11am to 2pm; $75 per person. This time of year, rooms start (start!) at $525. An overnight parking fee of $35 is almost balanced by complimentary use of electric bikes. Parking for dinner guests is almost complimentary; just tip your most likely handsome valet. Like waitstaff, I eagerly await tips. If you have any restaurant information, please contact me at wendy@ santabarbarasentinel.com.

All photos by Wendy Jenson

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by Zach Rosen

A Beer That’s Worth It

ambic. The word is enough to make any beer geek’s heart flutter and his (or her) eyes glaze over, lost in a vision of flavor. I had such an experience when I heard that Whole Foods had received Drie Fonteinen Oude Geuze Golden Blend. I drifted over there in a highly hypnotic beer-trance to make sure I got a bottle of this rare brew. I knew lambics to be expensive but just put the bottle among the other fermented goodies in my basket and didn’t give it a second thought. Only later did I look at the receipt and realize that this 12.7 oz beer was $23 (this equates to a roughly $130 six-pack). Now I personally am not dissuaded by that price tag (hey, you’ll find me collecting pennies in the parking lot so that I can buy another bottle) but I realize that most people are not willing to pay $23 for a bottle of beer. And it’s not just this particular bottle of lambic that is so expensive; I’ve racked up some terrifying bar bills drinking hundred dollar bottles of lambics at fancy beer bars. So why are these particular beers so pricey?

There’s Bugs In My Beer (Yum) First off, a little background on lambics. If the term “lambic” is ringing a bell in the back of your mind, you are probably familiar with the word because of Brouwerij Lindemans. These are “lambics” that have been pasteurized (killing all the innocent little microbes) and then sweetened with fruit extracts to give it a flavor similar to an alcoholic fruit soda. Not in a bad way, but just much different then the tart, intricate taste of traditional lambics. Historically, fruit lambics were common – the cherryfilled Kriek is the most traditional – but other fruits have crept their way into the fermentation vessel over the years. Lindemans produces beers with raspberries, apples and even peaches in them. Trader Joe’s has made Lindemans’ beers popular, accessible and now you will often see their offerings on restaurants’ beer lists around town. While these beers can be delightful in the right setting, especially with dessert (try the Peanut Butter and Jelly Cheesecake with Lindemans’ Framboise at Arlington Tavern), they are a far cry from true lambic and, to borrow a phrase from beer writer Michael Jackson, really just “the daydreams of marketing men.” Traditional lambic is a style of beer found in the Senne Valley of Belgium. These beers use “spontaneous fermentation,” meaning that (ideally) no

Zach Rosen is a Certified Cicerone® and beer educator living in Santa Barbara. He uses his background in chemical engineering and the arts to seek out abstract expressions of beer and discover how beer pairs with life.

microorganisms are added to the liquid and fermentation is carried out entirely through the microorganisms inherent in the air and the very wood of the building itself (how’s that for terroir). This results in hundreds of critters participating in the fermentation, as compared to the single yeast strain used in other beers, and produces a flavor that is overwhelming with complexities. Barrels house these habitats and due to the vast array of buggies in the liquid these fermentations take several years to complete. During this time the beer is souring due to the biological activity. Straight, unblended lambic is a rarity and lambics of different age are often blended to find a balance between acidity and flavor. Once the lambic is blended, it is then called geuze. Typically a geuze will be a blend of one-, two- and three-year-old lambic. Drie Fonteinen Oude Geuze Golden Blend was a one time release that uses a special batch of four-year-old lambic in the mixture. By the end of the four years, little liquid is left in the barrels (due to evaporation) but the Golden Blend still consists of 25% of this precious fluid.

But What Does It Taste Like Now I could sit here and paint a romantic story about the art of crafting lambic, discussing its antiquated process (lambic is often considered the oldest existing beer style), recounting the history of Drie Fonteinen or addressing the fascinating science behind the network of microorganisms that inhabit the liquid in coexistence, however I feel this attempt to justify the price tag would be meaningless if the flavors don’t speak for themselves. Pouring the beer in a champagne flute (yeah, that’s right) will help highlight the beer’s brisk carbonation and crisp acidity while amplifying the brew’s complex aroma and framing its charming tiger lily-orange color. The musty, barnyard notes (these come from a critter called Brettanomyces) are first to hit the nose, but don’t stop there; dig your nose deeper into

Drie Fonteinen Oude Geuze Golden Blend – you may not be able to pronounce it, but you sure can drink it. Wow. That’s a doozy of a brewsy.

the flute and you will find layers of earth, leather and mulled oranges. The beer is bone-dry, bustling with bubbles and has a fruity tartness similar to unripe pears with a finish of bitter licorice root. Wildly fermented beers can be bracing and powerfully pungent but this example is refined and elegant with a considerate balance that allows every flavor to come through without any particular one overpowering the others. These beers are not going to be for everyone, but if these flavors do interest

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you then I would hurry over to Whole Foods because these bottles will not last long once word spreads that they have Drie Fonteinen. If they end up being out of them, don’t fret, Whole Foods has some other wonderful wildly-fermented beers. The St. Louis Geuze Fond Tradition does not have the depth of Drie Fonteinen’s Golden Blend but the price tag is easier on the pocket and it is perfect as an introductory geuze. Whole Foods’ beer specialist, George Gutierrez, can help direct you to the bottle and suggest other lambics that would fit your particular palate. Lindemans makes a spectacular (and affordable) geuze called Cuvée René. Unfortunately, it is rarely seen in town so while you’re in at Whole Foods make sure to bother George and tell him to stock it.

Geuze: The Real Champagne of Beers Geuzes are often compared to champagne and I had prefaced the beer with a Mumm Napa Brut Rosé that delighted the palate with its bright nose full of berries and stone fruit aromatics. That being said, I prefer the peppery, citric must of the Golden Blend. So here’s fair warning. If you take my advice and begin to explore lambics, be careful. You might end up selling your clothes for another sip of that sweet, sweet geuze.

The Winehound is

MOVING to La Cumbre Plaza! 3849 State Street

(next to See’s Candies) • More Wines! Easy Parking! • More •Wines! • Easy Parking! Opening in October! • Grand • Stay tuned for news & specials... Subscribe to our emails at www.thewinehound.com

The Winehound

– Cheers, Bob Wesley & the Winehound Crew

3849 State St. Santa Barbara • (805) 845-5247

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8•Days• a•Week We Ain’t Got Nothin’ But Love, Babe…

by Jeremy Harbin

Want to be a part of Eight Days A Week?

Space is limited, but if you have an event, exhibit, performance, book signing, sale, opening, trunk show, or anything else interesting or creative that readers can attend, let us know at 805-845-1673 or email us at tim@santabarbarasentinel.com. We’ll consider all suggestions, but we will give extra consideration to unusual events and/or items, especially those accompanied by a good visual, particularly one that has yet to be published.

• Friday May 24

–Art Masters

Parents of the Arts Fund Gallery students might want to slip out early for a glimpse into their children’s futures. Tonight’s opening reception for those completing their UCSB Master of Fine Arts degree begins at 5:30 and ends at 7pm. The group show, titled Inside Out, will feature, among other works, Tristan Newcomb’s surreal full-length film starring a puppet nun, Alex Bogdanov’s antiexhibit in which he gives his space to another artist, and Erik Sultzer’s participatory stage setting that will illuminate unseen political connections using text, images, and textiles. So, parents, still think your teenager artist is complicated? Stroke your chin and ask yourself about the nature of art for free at the Art, Design, and Architecture Museum on the UCSB campus tonight. Inside Out runs until June 16. Go to www.museum.ucsb.edu for information.

–Teen Art

It’s been all business all week, so how about getting some art in your life tonight? It’s an easy

Join us for Lunch! Come

ﬁnd us in

11:30am–5:00pm Oceanview Patio!

The Funk Zone

thing to do in Santa Barbara. Begin the evening at the opening for the Arts Fund Gallery Teen Arts Mentorship Group Exhibition, where you’ll find on display over fifty works of art across a variety of mediums. In addition to the painting, sculpture, and photography, there will be a reading from the students of the Arts Fund’s creative writing class. View the work of these local teen artists from 4:30 to 7pm for free at 205-C Santa Barbara Street. The show runs until June 22. For more information, call the Arts Fund at 805.965.7321.

• Saturday May 25

–Chalk It Up

Starting today and going through Monday is the anticipated I Madonnari Italian Street Painting Festival. This unique event will have about 150 chalk artists on their kneepads outside of the Santa Barbara Mission while many more of us hover above them and admire their work as they draw it. As if that weren’t enough, there will be bands, food, and merchants. The festival benefits the local arts education nonprofit Children’s Creative Project. Find the roses in bloom at the Mission at 2201 Laguna Street. The festival is open 10am to 6pm daily and is free.

I Madonnari Adjacent

If you get all the chalk you can stand but not all the art, there’s a nearby event that will have painting, music, and an art sale. Walk over to 37 Mountain Drive – the private property of Phoenix Santa Barbara, an organization that helps people with psychiatric conditions and this event’s beneficiary – for a full schedule of local bands and works by featured artist Larry Iwerks, among others. Brought to you by SCAPE, Southern California Artists Painting for the Environment, Art Along the Creek: Restoring Land, Restoring Lives welcomes those with dogs to enjoy the art along with their canine friends. The show and sale runs the same dates as I Madonnari. See www.s-c-a-p-e.org for more information.

• Sunday May 26

–Soul Fried Summer

101 EAST CABRILLO BLVD. • 805-966-2112 WWW. FISHOUSESB.COM

There’s no question about where to be this Sunday: the first ever Soul Fried Summer at 7 Bar and Kitchen – presented in part by the very paper you’re holding – promises to be the event of this 8-day week. It doesn’t get better than this; it’s a mini music and art festival in a relaxing, laid-back environment. The bar will serve up drinks as the kitchen cooks brunch. Grab a table and listen to Groove Shine play their reggae funk and Sidewalk Affair jam some sunny California soul. Then hang out while DJ Curriculum, Tuck B, and Sparx spin vinyl. Tickets are on sale now at www.brownpapertickets.com for $12; with one, you get an ice cold Firestone 805 Draft. I can’t think of a better way to spend the Sunday before Memorial Day. We’ll be there, so come on down to the Funk Zone and put some faces to the names you see in print each week. I’ll be the guy with the plate of chicken and waffles. It all happens at 224 Helena Avenue in Santa Barbara’s Funk Zone from 11:00am to 6pm. See you there.

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chef, Onofre Zungia, and his zucchini quesadillas are delicious. After we finish our margaritas, let’s walk over to the Center Stage Theater at 751 Paseo Nuevo for Trajectory: A UCSB Dance Company Presentation. For the past two weeks, these dancers have been traveling the world, dancing in New York and Italy. Let’s welcome them back. Their program of modern dance starts at 8pm. $20, $15 for students. Call 805.963.0408 for more information.

• Monday May 27

–Memorial Day Ceremony

This Memorial Day, the Pierre Claeyssens Veterans Museum will host a ceremony to commemorate the Korean War – the first in Santa Barbara to do so. Beginning promptly at 10am at the Santa Barbara Cemetery (901 Channel Drive), the hour-long ceremony will feature speakers, music, and two flyovers by vintage aircraft. The event will honor Brigadier General Fred Lopez and President of the Korean War Veterans Association John Ramieri. It will also feature a bagpiper, solo vocalist, flautist, and choir. The ceremony is free and open to the public. Seniors and veterans should RSVP for VIP seating by calling 805.966.1660.

• Tuesday May 28

–Folk Yeah

If you missed last night’s 7:30pm performance of The Lonesome Travelers: A Musical Journey Down the Rivers and Streams of American Folk at the Lobero Theatre, you’ve got another chance to see it at the same time tonight. Presented by Rubicon Production and Off-Broadway Across America, this show is something of a review of the American folk music of the early to mid twentieth century. Sing along with both young folk musicians and stage professionals to standards like “This Land is Your Land” and “I’ll Fly Away.” Tickets start at $29.50, but $79.50 gets you a VIP ticket that includes a buffet dinner catered by Woody’s Bodacious Barbecue. Call the Lobero box office at 805.963.0761.

• Wednesday May 29

–Dinner and Dance

Let’s go out this Wednesday. Some dinner and dance sound good? Good; I’ve got a plan. Let’s start out at Casa Blanca Restaurant and Cantina downtown (330 State Street). They’ve got a new head

• Thursday May 30

–Plein Air Art

Sometimes you miss an art opening. But these artist types and gallery owners are smart: they keep the art up on the walls so people can come see the work after the opening reception. Very clever. Shared Visions: Plein Air & Studio has been running at the Divine Inspiration Gallery of Fine Art since early April. The exhibit features seven local artists and members of PACC, Plein Air Artists of the Central Coast. Go check out the soothing outdoor scenes from noon to 5pm tonight, or each Thursday until the exhibit closes in July. Find the gallery at 1528 State Street. Visit www.divineinspiration.us for more information.

• Friday May 31

–Feeling Dandy

“It is a very sad thing that nowadays there is so little useless information,” wrote Oscar Wilde. It seems old Oscar would be as happy as a gentlemen with a full tray of fresh cucumber sandwiches if only he could see all the useless information we have now. So with apologies to Mr. Wilde, here’s some useful information for your Friday night: Oscar’s own The Important of Being Earnest goes on at the Circle Bar B Dinner Theatre (1800 Refugio road, Goleta) tonight at 8pm. Dinner starts at 7, so get there in time for tri-tip, chicken, mashed potatoes, veggies, and dessert. For read more information or to reserve your seat, call 805.967.1962.

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Opinion, stories, events, and people that shape Santa Barbara

sbview.com

Milpas on the Move by Sharon Byrne

Way to go, Milpas-Eastside!

y Friday afternoon, we’ll know whether we’ve won a national competition for Neighborhood of the Year 2013. Lorraine Cruz-Carpenter forwarded me the call for entries from Neighborhoods USA. Lorraine runs the city’s Looking Good program. She gets people to sign up as Adopt-a-Block captains to keep our blocks litter and graffiti-free. She also runs the city’s giant annual cleanups. Thus she scales up to hundreds of volunteers working to keep our city clean, probably the highest return-on-investment employee in this city. I realized the Milpas Community Association could be a good fit for the competition’s focus on social revitalization, given all the struggles we’d had, how we stayed unified on fixing the neighborhood, and how the entire community pulled together for the holiday lights and parade last year. So I wrote up our story, and sent it off. And I got a letter back. Neighborhoods USA, headquartered in Minneapolis, put us in the top five finalists nationwide for Neighborhood of the Year 2013. Not because everything is perfect – it’s not. We made the finals because Milpas is indeed revitalizing due to a strong community-based grassroots effort for the past 2+ years. There’s a new sense of connectedness and neighborliness, and neighborhood pride.

There’s A Lot To Be Proud Of In This Neighborhood

he Egg McMuffin was invented at the Milpas McDonald’s. Milpas hosts many family-owned businesses that have been here for decades, with one in constant operation for 100 years. Franklin Neighborhood Center completed a stunning mural, under the leadership of Ricardo Venegas. This is also where the neighborhood came together for the first time at a contentious Franklin Advisory Committee meeting in August of 2010, and decided that we had something worth fighting for. Kids are playing softball again in the Cabrillo ballfield – a welcome sight in our former Ground Zero. We have great schools with amazing principals that care deeply about our kids. We have incredible restaurants. Super Rica was named one the top 25 Mexican restaurants nationally by Food and Leisure

organizations, and schools work together with the city to make the area better? All that effort applied for sheer love of our neighborhood has led us to this point. To those that worked so hard for so long on this area, and gave so much, you already are winners. You already are the Neighborhood of the Year. Way to go, Milpas-Eastside neighbors!

Hey Big Spender... by Loretta Redd

Team for the Neighborhoods USA competition.

Meetings, meetings and more meetings.

magazine. Los Agaves, Your Place and The Habit consistently win Best of Santa Barbara. El Bajio won the trophy for the city’s best Menudo. Our community police officers hosted the first citywide Menudo competition, at Franklin Elementary. Our beat cops live in our neighborhood, and are invested in our community. We’re proof that community policing works. SBHS was named one of the top 10 most beautiful schools in the US, is the 3rd oldest in California, hosts the state’s longest-running school newspaper at nearly 100 years, and is home to the defending US champs in cheerleading! Go Dons! The Eyeglass Factory puts on Kids Health Day, and gives out free eyeglasses and exams to kids. We give away kids’ bikes at that event, thanks to John Dixon of Tri-County Produce, hands-down the best produce market in this city. We started a Halloween Trick or Treat on Milpas, and the merchants really turn it up for the kids. We got our holiday streetlights back up, with huge community support, including Milpas businesses, the Sentinel, Franklin PTA, Casa de la Raza, Boys and Girls Club, and Casa Esperanza. We throw a holiday parade featuring youth and cars. This year is the parade’s 60th anniversary. Boys and Girls Club just won the city’s Spirit of Service Award for Clean Community. They always bring out masses of kids for the cleanups, and teach them how to take ownership of their neighborhood. Casa De La Raza gave us a home for the

Boys and Girls Club at the Big Eastside Cleanup.

Sharon Byrne

Sharon Byrne is executive director for the Milpas Community Association, and currently serves on the Advisory Boards for the Salvation Army Hospitality House and Santa Barbara County Alcohol and Drug Problems.

sbview.com holiday parade team, and welcomed us to throw a party to greet our beat cops to the neighborhood. Our Lady of Guadalupe, shepherded by Father Marin, cranks out the best tamales at Fiesta. The hall, historic home of Franklin Elementary School, has been a great place for us to work on some of our toughest issues. We have our own column! North Milpas now hosts The Shop for great coffee and food, owned by Eastside residents. Let’s hear it for another local business on the street! Ami (also an Eastside resident) of Jack’s Bistro holds down South Milpas, and always smiles a greeting when you walk in. This really is an incredible neighborhood, when you step back and look at it. All the marches, neighborhood cleanups, meetings, meetings, and even more meetings, Planning Commission and City Council hearings, graffiti removal, neighborhood watch efforts, community policing, and holiday efforts… Where else have you seen business owners, residents, community

eave it to L.A. to try and outdo everyone in California. This time, it’s not Rodeo Drive’s couturiers and jewels, nor Hollywood’s glam and paparazzi taking the headlines. It’s election spending. By last Saturday, our neighbors to the south had set a less than enviable record of over $33 million on their race for a mayor. We’re not talking the whole council... just the mayor. Probably would have been cheaper to simply bribe every registered voter with a check; especially since neither candidate seems to be very adept at garnering a lead in the polls. Is Santa Barbara’s City Council so far behind? Using rounded numbers of cash raised and expended in the last campaign for our tiny, tawny town, we have: Randy Rowse: $83,000 Deborah Schwartz: $79,000 ($105,000 including in-kind) Dale Francisco: $79,000 Cathy Murillo: $72,000 ($88,000 including in-kind) Grant House (2009): $74,000 Bendy White (2009): $65,000 ($91,000 including in-kind) “In-kind” expenditures include outside monies by groups whose gifts are known to the candidates. Some of the auxiliary groups offer “independent expenditures.” They may not have been in direct contact with the candidate or campaign director, but they still have to list the value of the gift and who receives them. For example, if the Democratic Party produces a $3,000 mailer for three endorsed candidates, and informs them that they are doing so, the ‘gift’ is prorated, and both the candidate and campaign committee report a $1,000 contribution. If the Democratic Party does not inform the candidate, but simply sends money or includes them on a slate mailer, it is considered an “independent expenditure” which the campaign committee must list, but the candidate isn’t required to do so. The City of Santa Barbara has online campaign filing showing campaign expenditure and monies raised. It isn’t easy to find the numbers; the City of Goleta actually does a better job, but with a little tenacity, the information is there. Here’s a link to a filing from the Democratic Central Committee (see Schedule D):

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Loretta Redd’s diverse background includes being a psychologist, business owner, non-profit director, Air Force officer, writer, speaker, and executive coach. Loretta has served on several Santa Barbara city committees and has been a candidate for public office.

Loretta Redd

sbview.com

http://cal-access.sos.ca.gov/PDFGen/ pdfgen.prg?filingid=1715305&amendid=0 This year, our local City Council election is projected to cost between $7075,000 per candidate. I think that is an absurd amount of money for a council seat where the City Administrator, Attorney and Chief of Police pretty much run the place. Especially since Santa Barbara is a Charter City where members have limited terms, non-district elections and thankfully, limited compensation. Other cities and towns in California have decided to place either a voluntary cap on election expenditures or have written a limit into their municipal codes. Even Beverly Hills has a voluntary spending limit of $80,000 for council campaigns in a place where most people go to the polls in their Rolls Royce! In Santa Cruz, the expenditure is limited to $0.35 per resident, or approximately $17,500 per candidate. Lancaster decided back in 1996 to rewrite its municipal code, restricting campaign fundraising to not exceed $0.75 per resident. Mountain View requires disclosure for any gift over $100 or campaign expenditure of more than $200. When originally written about a decade ago, the fundraising limit was set at $15,000. With a 3% per year increase, today that number has reached $21,388. Still relatively paltry, relative to Santa Barbara. The reason for the limitation was simple according to a Mountain View official, “Candidates spend time trying to out-raise each other. It just escalates. Especially for first time candidates. They feel like they owe something to their contributors, to show they believed in you for a reason.” Finally, in Santa Rosa, where they limited the campaigns to $45,000 in 2010, the City provides each qualified candidate with space on the City’s website for a 500-word statement, with links to other information or candidate positions. In Santa Barbara, the City generously produces a ballot statement of 200 words from each candidate and covers the printing and mailing to all registered voters. I believe they also allow a video statement, but that shouldn’t cost very much in this day of “face time” and digital recordings. Some people complain that Santa Barbara City Council belongs to the “old guard,” that it is both expensive

and difficult to become known to the voters. Many say that the deck is stacked against youth and minorities. Others believe certain committees, unions and other special interest groups play the role of “King maker” through slate mailers, signage, volunteers and direct contributions. Is it time to voluntarily cap the candidate spending for the upcoming City Council and Mayoral races? Could we attract a more diverse field of candidates with fresh ideas or a desire to serve to protect our town, if they didn’t have to refinance their car or literally beg for money, in order to run for office? Will this year’s candidates be willing to sign a pledge to raise and expend no more than one dollar per registered voter, say $50,000, until a limit can be written into the City’s Ordinances? Truth is, if we do that, we’ll get just as good a council – or better – than they will in L.A. for one hundred times that much.

Business Beat by Ray Estrada

WEV Founder, South Coast Author to be Honored

he Association of Women in Communications, Santa Barbara, will present its 2013 Women of Achievement Awards to Marsha Bailey, founder and CEO at Women’s Economic Ventures, and author Kathleen Sharp at a luncheon from 11:30am to 1:30pm June 5 at the Montecito Country Club, 920 Summit Road, Montecito. Admission to the luncheon is $45 for AWC-SB members and $60 for nonmembers. For more information on AWC, see www.awcsb.org. Mistress of ceremonies will be KCLU radio station General Manager Mary Olson. An original poem crafted for the event by Perie Longo, AWC-SB poet laureate, will be read. Bailey started Women’s Economic Ventures, or WEV, in Santa Barbara 22 years ago to help women and men start to accelerate their enterprises with training and financial loans. The nonprofit organization now also serves entrepreneurs in Ventura County. South Coast-based author Sharp is the author of Blood Medicine, currently being developed into a feature film by New Regency, and Mr. & Mrs. Hollywood and is a former business writer at the Santa Barbara News-Press.

‘Film Night’ Cookbook Signing Set June 1 South Coast author and business coach Dr. Kyre Adept will take orders for her new cookbook, Cooking for Film Night, from 3 to 5pm June 1 at the

Ray Estrada

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Ray Estrada is a writer, editor and media consultant who has worked for newspapers, radio news, wire services and online publications for the past 40 years. He has taught journalism at the University of Southern California and now runs his own consulting business based in Santa Barbara.

sbview.com

Tecolote Book Shop, 1470 East Valley Road, Montecito. A 13-year Central Coast resident, Dr. Adept is the principal at the Art of Integration as well as the founder of the Church of Chocolate. She worked as a chef in a French restaurant in Cambridge, England. “Although I started with savory dishes, cooking for film night also offers wonderful opportunities to bake sweet dishes that I dare not make just for myself, at home. I specialize in chocolate desserts, and find they are very well received by the group,” Dr. Adept said. “However, film night has also enabled me to brush up nonchocolate recipes such as Sour Cherry Cheesecake. Another factor has been to find dishes that reheat well, that retain their heat, taste just as good lukewarm, or that can receive their final finish in someone else’s kitchen. “As with potlucks, film night does not lend itself to delicacies of timing,” she said. “Recipes that end up in one dish, with sauce, tend to work best. To this end, I have a wonderful set of Le Creuset casseroles.” In case you are not familiar with Le Creuset, this is a French firm that manufactures first-class enameled cast-iron cookware in a range of colors. After years of using their casseroles in deep blue, she said, “I recently indulged in an entire set in light aqua – lovely! These heavy round and oval pans can be used on the stovetop and in the oven; they retain heat for half an hour or more, allowing one to carry a cooked dish to a friend’s house, and then serve it, still warm, to the assembled viewers.” Finally, she said, “I had to find dishes that were flexible as to ingredients. One regular at film nights cannot eat onions, so at times I had to do without. Another is allergic to garlic (a much more serious problem), and one of the hosts doesn’t care for fish. I myself am allergic to crustaceans and bivalves, so although I offer fish from time to time, shellfish is out.” Many people also find wheat and dairy products difficult to digest, she said, “and my cooking uses many ingenious substitutes for flour, cream, and cheese. In any case, I encourage you to make your own experiments with ingredients that suit your palate (and your diet). Like many people these days, I do better with lots of protein and vegetables, and minimal carbohydrates.”

FRIDAY MAY 24 Locals Night Happy Hour 4pm-7pm FeaturingFolsom & McLychok 5pm-7pm FeaturingAtomic 51 9pm-Midnight SATURDAY

MAY 25

Featuring-Morganfield Burnett

and Da Blues 9pm-Midnight SUNDAY

MAY 26

Live Music- Pacific Coast Blues

1pm-4pm Karaoke Hosted by Will “Uptown” Brown 6pm-11pm MONDAY

MAY 27 Trivia NightHosted by Tim Duggan Industry Night/Karaoke Drink Specials all Night

TUESDAY

MAY 28

Brian Kinsella’s Open Mic Night

8pm-11pm WEDNESDAY MAY 29 Happy Hour W/ M&M 4pm-7pm Bob’s Blues Band 7pm-10pm THURSDAY MAY 30 Ladies Night Happy Hour 4pm-7pm **Wine Tasting Event** 6pm-8pm Featuring-Roblar Winery *Complimentary Appetizers* FeaturingBrian Kinsella Band 830pm-1130pm

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...continued from p.7 to meet with you at your convenience. Now, on to Loretta Redd’s article, which I really liked. First of all, I am interested in having Coffee With A Lawman (Cop). Please let me know who I should contact. Ms. Redd mentions the problems on the brick bench in front of the Habit. And she gives the same advice as has been previously given by many regarding the aggressive outsiders who harass people walking by for money. DO NOT GIVE THEM ANY OF YOUR HARD EARNED MONEY. PERIOD. It is time to take back our city. So, once again, to all the aggressive outsiders out there who panhandle, pack-up your crappy belongings and get the hell out of our city. All those who work here and live here in SB, need to get together and fight back. Bring this up with city council and county supervisors. And all of this coming from a homeless person? Yes, once again call me crazy. Jose Arturo Ortiz de MartinezGallegos Santa Barbara (Editor’s Note: Thanks Jose, your letter raises a couple good points. First, I’m glad you took the time to read and actually understand Ms. Byrne’s piece (in stark contrast to the previous writer). And even if health and hygiene centers were to be built and operational 24/7, who would monitor them? (I can see it already, another

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inadequately funded county department: The Santa Barbara Hygiene Awareness Committee, aka, SB-HAC. Our tax dollars at work. Great.) Oh, and you can find out about Coffee With a Cop through SBPD’s website or by calling 805.897.2300. See you at the Cat. – MSM)

Praise for Crime Time (Yep, It’s True!) Matt, oh my, tonight was the first time I picked up your paper and boy was I glad I did! Please pass on my big compliments to your “It’s Crime Time” writer – that is some very funny stuff. I’m sitting here literally laughing out loud. Good times! Jason Santa Barbara

On Infrastructure Budgetary Concerns and Public Health Matt, a loud round of applause should be heard for Jason Nelson’s piece last week (No Time for Pretending (Vol. 2, Issue 19)) on the Council’s kicking the City budget can of worms down the road. In the article, he noted deferred maintenance of City infrastructure. Part of that is the City’s almost complete disregard for the public health stemming from aspects of deferred maintenance. The deferred maintenance shortfall is found in a conglomerate of budgetary items that

are typically not seen nor understood by the voting public… out of sight, out of mind. As an example, Santa Barbara Channelkeepers, under attorney Drew Bohan, back around 2001, brought to light the disrepair of the City’s sewer mains. The City vehemently denied that the sewers were in disrepair. This turned out to be a bald-faced lie on the part of the City, not just a misunderstanding. Their own studies, which we uncovered and then analyzed at the time, showed that several areas within the City had failing sewer mains and that this could be contributing to beach closure and unsafe conditions and pollution of the local creeks. (Records going back all the way into the 1920s showed that there were problems. But I digress.) Recharge areas were frequently flooded with sewage that ran raw across the land during storms because, in addition to the sewer mains failing, the storm drains also failed. For example, during storms, the sewer mains along the Mesa were so broken up that the incoming rising ground water flooded these large pipes and, down the way toward the sewer plant, they spewed out raw sewage. (By way of example, a manhole cover near the marina once blew off because of this pressure.) The result was that large amounts of raw sewage spilled into the harbor. Since sewage is taken to treatment plants to lower pathogen numbers (amongst other reasons), and the aforementioned raw sewage didn’t make it to the treatment plant, vast volumes of pathogens – nasty little infectious agents – were deposited in the harbor. We told the City all about this and they essentially ignored our message. The sewer system, as far as the City was concerned, was just fine as it was. Interestingly, the pathogens can and do exchange genetic information with sediment dwelling bacteria and thus biomes can be established in these

sediments. When a storm comes in and the muds are stirred up, some of that bottom mud then washes up on the beaches where we play in the sand and invite others, our tourist guests, to join us. It gets worse, again, because we have a federal dredge in the harbor and it pumps bottom mud and sand to East Beach, another popular spot to recreate. Beach-goers who dug in the sand or covered themselves with sand were, in the following week or two, more likely to have diarrheal illnesses from a variety of organisms. (Beach sand, especially if it contains ground kelp, offers a good medium for the regrowth and maintenance of pathogens.) In all of this, the City maintained assurances that (1) the sewer system was just fine and (2) it did not have a public health arm and thus could do nothing about our concerns anyway. Let’s move from the beginning of the last decade into this decade. Channelkeeper under Kira Redman took the City to court and had to force it to do what it should have done a decade ago. That’s what forced at least some change in connection with a little known, little discussed problem with potentially huge public health consequences. So, you see, kicking the can down the road is a wonderful tool for politicians. Dr. Edo McGowan, Medical Geohydrology Montecito (Editor’s Note: Thanks for the letter, Dr. McGowan. It made my stomach turn, sure, and I’m seriously considering never going to East Beach again, but thanks anyway. Maybe you should write an op-ed on the issue as you see it so that the public can be made more aware of at least one infrastructure/public health issue that’s out there. Alternatively, you might talk to Jason Nelson… he seems to care about issues like this one. Just a couple unsolicited thoughts. Much appreciated. – MSM)

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www.presidiosports.com Presidio Sports is a provider of local sports news and information for the Santa Barbara community. Founded in 2008, the small team at Presidio has covered hundreds of local sporting events and published thousands of articles connected to Santa Barbara’s athletic community. Please visit their website for more local sports news and information.

Roth Introduced as SBCC’s New Aquatics Leader by John Dvorak

1960s and early 1970s. Santa Barbara City Aquatics Supervisor Rich Hanna, who is also President of the Santa Barbara Athletic Round Table, voiced his support for the resurrection of swimming at SBCC. “First of all, congratulations to Ryan, the athletic department at City College, and the entire college for adding more aquatics programming right here in this community,” Hanna said. “It doesn’t take brain science to look around and see that we’re surrounded by water and we just do not have enough aquatic programs.” On a personal level, Hanna has dealt with Roth frequently through the tightknit aquatics community. “I have no doubt that the coach that is going to lead this program has brought honor, integrity, and strength back to San Marcos High School swimming and water polo, and I know that he’s going to bring that to Santa Barbara City College,” Hanna said. SBCC will compete in the Western State Conference, which currently has eight women’s swimming programs, including Ventura and Cuesta. With the addition of SBCC and Hancock, there will be 10 women’s swim teams in 2014.

NBA Players Create Scholarship For Local Student-Athlete by Barry Punzal

L New SBCC women’s swimming coach, Brian “Chuckie” Roth, right, with UCSB head swimming coach Gregg Wilson.

anta Barbara City College officially introduced Brian “Chuckie” Roth on Thursday as the first coach for the new women’s aquatics program at an organizational meeting held in the Sports Pavilion. Those making statements at the event included UCSB swimming coach Gregg Wilson, City of Santa Barbara Aquatics Director Rich Hanna, SBCC Superintendent Dr. Lori Gaskin and SBCC Athletics Director Ryan Byrne. A handful of high school and college athletes were in attendance to learn about the new program and what it would take to join. “I can’t tell you how exciting it is for a program like this to be added,” Wilson said during his remarks, crediting Byrne and SBCC for making the move to increase opportunities through aquatics. Roth graduated from UCSB after transferring from Citrus Community College. At UCSB, Roth competed for the swimming team under Wilson and has remained active in the local aquatics community by becoming a coach at San Marcos High School and the Santa Barbara Aquatics Club. “Although it’s so often about the championships that we win, I truly believe it’s about the relationships that we form,” Roth said. “And I know that

if we start by forming relationships, we provide opportunities like Ryan’s speaking about, and we support student-athletes in what they need to do, that they can be successful later in life. “My philosophy is really simple: hard work and dedication, learning to face the challenges, you teach kids to overcome challenges and step up to challenges, then those kids can be successful.” Roth will retain his role as the girls head coach for water polo and swimming at San Marcos, where the SBCC team will train. The SBCC women will begin competition in the spring of 2014. A women’s water polo program is being considered. There were at least nine student-athletes already committed to participate in the program’s first year. Emily Wheeler, a nursing student at SBCC, swam for Roth while at San Marcos and swam for the Santa Barbara Swim Club from when she was five years old until 18. She’s thrilled to have the opportunity to compete again, especially with Roth as her coach again. “Chuckie was by far the best coach I’ve ever had,” Wheeler said. “He’s a coach but he’s also a friend.” It’s not the first time SBCC has competed in swimming. A men’s swimming program existed in the late

ocal professional basketball players Julyan Stone, Orlando Johnson and James Nunnally have a question for area high school senior student-athletes: How did high school athletics impact your life? The best answer is worth a $2,000 college scholarship to the winner. Stone, a former Dos Pueblos star who

Julyan Stone, along with Orlando Johnson and James Nunnally, has created an essay contest for local seniors for a college scholarship.

went on to a brilliant four-year college career at Texas-El Paso and now plays for the Denver Nuggets of the NBA, has created an essay contest for local senior student-athletes called the Shooting Star Student Athlete Scholarship Program. “Julyan developed a scholarship for student athletes to help promote the importance of education and higher learning and to distinguish successful and effective leaders within his community,” said Marisa Phillips, the cousin of former UCSB star James Nunnally, who is putting on the Shooting Star Summer Basketball Camp at Bishop Diego in July. The camp will feature Nunnally, who plays for the NBA Development League’s Bakersfield Jam; Johnson, UCSB’s all-time leading scorer who now plays for the Indiana Pacers; and Stone, UTEP’s all-time assist leader, as instructors. All three players played four years of college basketball. The essay can be a maximum of 500 words. Applicants must be a high school senior student-athlete in any sport planning to attend a four-year university. They must fill out the online application on the camp’s website and include a letter of recommendation from their school’s athletic director. The application deadline is June 30. Phillips said the three players are putting up the money for the scholarship. The players will judge the essays and name a winner on July 26.

Dons Lose Swagger, Fall in CIF Championship to Esperanza

by Barry Punzal

hen the Santa Barbara boys volleyball team plays with swagger, it is tough to beat. That swagger was present through the first set and most of the second during Saturday’s CIF Division 2 championship match at Santiago Canyon College. But it got away from the Dons and Esperanza took advantage and rallied for a 21-25, 25-20. 25-23, 25-18 title victory. “We’ve got to be hard-nosed and play with emotion and that’s what we were doing,” Santa Barbara coach Chad Arneson said of his team’s play in the first set and part of the second. “All of sudden we went 180 and couldn’t get it done.” Esperanza’s Jake Arnitz had something to do with it. The 6-7 junior was a oneman wrecking crew for the Aztecs. He blasted a whopping 44 kills from all over the court and had a sterling hitting percentage of .514. “At this point, you go with your big horse and Jake, like I knew he would, came through,” said Esperanza coach Isaac Owens. Tristan Fauntleroy led the Dons with 19 kills and a .351 average. Channing Peake added nine kills and Joe Rafferty and Ryan Worley chipped

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in seven apiece. Santa Barbara started well, mixing up its attack to throw off the Aztecs in the first set. The Dons carried the momentum into the second set, taking an 11-4 lead. But the offense started to break down and the swagger got away from them. That’s when Arnitz took over the match. His hitting and some errors by the Dons enabled Esperanza to climb back into the match. They went on a 7-1 run to take their first lead, 2019. Arnitz put the finishing touches on the comeback with four straight kills and a solo block. “We came in super hyped up and kind of shut down. It was bad,” said Dons libero and team captain Carl Mendoza. “Our guys, when things aren’t going so well, they tend to get down on each other,” Arneson said. “We were getting a little negative here and there. The players weren’t being themselves.” Esperanza and Arnitz kept the pressure on in the third set. A blast from the back row gave the Aztecs a 10-6 lead. Santa Barbara fought back behind the hitting of Peake, Rafferty and Fauntleroy, cutting the deficit to 22-18. But on the next play, a communication breakdown on a second ball after a dig killed the rally. The Dons, however, would keep fighting and got to within one, 24-23, on a kill by Worley. The Aztecs scored the final point on a kill by Arnitz from the back row. Esperanza dominated the fourth set. “It’s a tough one to swallow, our kids have worked so hard,” Arneson said. “The momentum was on our side for the first game, even though we missed several serves. (Esperanza) never got going. Then you go up 18-13 in game two. I don’t think our kids got lax; for some reason we were just stuck in a tough situation and our boys couldn’t fight through it. “Unfortunately our boys didn’t get it done in game two. That could have been a dagger for them.” Arnitz said his team has a tendency to start slow. “We’re kind of used to it. [Santa Barbara] definitely came out pretty strong and showed us what they got.” Besides the big hitting from Arnitz, the Aztecs got clutch defensive play from Andrew Lancaster. He had 27 digs. “Our libero played amazing,” said Arnitz. “We definitely turned it up, turned up our intensity in the second game.” For Arneson and the Dons, it was a tough pill to swallow. “We win Channel League so many times, we just can’t get the big one,” Arneson said. “We had a chance, this was a good chance to win CIF, when you’re up 1-0 and have a chance to go up 2-0 in games. You can’t take these opportunities for granted.”

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Santa Barbara Running Product Review: Hoka One One distance running shoes by Frances Chase-Dunn

t’s “Time To Fly” reads the Hoka One One running shoe slogan. This new long distance running shoe does pretty well holding up to the slogan considering the voluminous size of its wide-based midsole that is intended to provide extra cushioning for long distance runners. This shoe is unique at first glance because of its midsole volume that is 2.5 times the size of most other running shoes, yet 30 percent softer. Going against the latest trends of less cushioning for lighter, smaller shoes, the Hoka One One stands out in its size and ability to reduce impact because of its oversized cushioning. It is surprisingly light and efficient considering its shape, and may be the key for runners looking for more impact reduction than what most shoes provide. Initially in testing out the Stinson Evo Trail version of the Hoka One One, I was skeptical about how the shoe would affect fluidity of movement and my running form. I was pleasantly surprised after a three-mile run over varying terrain, that the shoe had much more to offer than its clunky look. I was running on pillows, or at least the closest running shoes could get to pillows without losing their stability. It took the first part of my run to adjust to the feel of the shoe. The wide base was key to its design and allowed my feet to sit deeper in the shoe’s midsole providing side cushioning along my feet as support. This helped keep my feet centered in the shoe, however I did find the need for a greater body awareness of my feet around intricate turns on the trail due to the wider base. I also developed a greater awareness for the speed at which I was running with these shoes. They did not slow me down, however the

Frances Chase Dunn

Hoka One One’s Stinson Evo Trail provides more volume in the midsole and reduces impact to the rest of the body while running.

Hoka One Ones were not ideal for quick turnovers. I felt extremely comfortable at a 9-mile-an-hour pace and felt like I could continue at the pace forever (even an 8-mile-an-hour pace felt good). But, with increasing speed the absorbing effects of the deep cushioning became more noticeable making the shoe less ideal. I never felt slowed down, but at fast speeds I felt I had to work a little harder. This held true for flat terrain and uphill running. However on my downhill runs, the extra cushioning actually made it possible for me to run faster than I would in any other shoe. I didn’t feel the impact on my feet and shins that I would worry about and slow down for in other running shoes. That’s what makes this shoe great: impact reduction. It’s not about speed, it’s about long slow miles and reducing the stress those miles have on the rest of the body. According to the Hoka One One website, “lessen the movement of the knee

by as much as 20 percent, thus increasing efficiency and decreasing the possibility for injury.” Much of the impact as my feet hit the ground was absorbed by this shoe and kept from distributing to the rest of my body. Essentially, this new style of shoe may be the answer to taking the stress off the body that other shoes are incapable of doing without the oversized cushioning. This speaks primarily to ultra marathoners and distance runners dealing with injury. However, any runner coming off an injury, or heavier in weight, I think will benefit from the Hoka One One’s design. Even for competitors running at speed, this shoe could work for training purposes to lessen the shock that the body’s bones and joints take from high-mileage fitness programs. These shoes may not make the best fashion statement with their voluminous size, but they will allow you to run more miles.

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snap at strangers. Dressing in layers is recommended; it might be hot in the late afternoon and quite chilly at night. Packing a flashlight is also a good idea, Mark spends much of his time wandering Santa Barbara and as this is a rural area and it can be a bit environs, enjoying the simple things that come his way. A show here, a benefit there, he is generally out and about and typically has a good time. He says that he writes tricky finding your vehicle after the “when he feels the urge” and doesn’t want his identity known for fear of an experience that is “less than authentic.” show. So he remains at large, roaming the town, having fun. Be warned. Now, as far as this Saturday night’s opening show, the Young Dubliners are well worth the trip alone; the outfit has truly earned their reputation as “Celtic know what you’re thinking: why the way), and it might just be the nicest Rock’s hardest working band.” The band should I schlep all the way to Ojai outdoor spot to hear music this side of blends traditional Irish sounds and to see a rock band that has played Ventura, except for maybe Chase Palm instruments with rock, blues and soul, several times in Santa Barbara? It’s not Park, which has the benefit of ocean creating a foot-stomping concoction a bad question, really. There are several breezes, but also gets overrun with that also harkens back to the old good clubs right in town where you can thousands of people during the summer country, where two of the members actually grew up. And because the hear live music on almost any night of Concerts in the Park series. Only a couple of hundred folks at group plays so many shows – up to 150 the week, so why fork over $4.15 per gallon to head out of town to hear what most attend shows at Dancing Oak, or more concerts every year – they know where the events begin with an optional how to work a crowd. So you can take is essentially just another bar band? The thing is, the Young Dubliners potluck picnic, with the hosts providing the location’s title literally and kick up aren’t just another bar band. And more the cups, plates, juice, coffee and your feet long past sunset if you choose, importantly, the Ojai Concert Series water. It’s an awfully amiable crowd although sitting back and relaxing on doesn’t take place in a bar. Or even that comes to these concerts, so I’d your blanket is fine, too (which a man indoors, for that matter, at least not strongly recommend bringing along a of leisure appreciates). dish to share and joining in. And don’t The gates open at 5pm, Santa Barbara during the summer. When the weather warms up, Shane forget to make return visits to the food indie band the Indian Trading Furs go Butler, who has run the series for tent, as late arrivals bring new culinary on at 6, and the Young Dubs hit the stage around 7pm. Tickets are $20 and several years now, moves the action to curiosities. Being as it’s a private place, you’re are available in advance or at the gate, his family home, a lovely near-bucolic spot on a few hilly acres that goes by also welcome to BYOB, and don’t forget and kids under 15 years are free. Call Dancing Oak Ranch. It’s in a wooded to bring a low-back deck chair and/or 665-8852 or hit up ojaiconcertseries. canyon just of Hwy. 150 in Casitas blanket. You can even bring along your com. If this Saturday’s no good for you, (which isn’t even all the way to Ojai, by dog on a leash, as long as he doesn’t there are two more concerts at Dancing Oaks this season: folk/bluegrass John Reischman & the Jaybirds on Sunday, August 4, and Quebec-based Yves Lambert Trio on Sunday, September 15. Same policies apply to those shows.

with Mark Léisuré

Young Dubs Take Ojai

Come visit us at our new branch!

Other Ojai Outings There are a couple of additional reasons to trek to the mountain village north of Ventura this weekend. In fact, there’s another competing folk-oriented

concert on Saturday night that also takes place under the stars. Fresh Roasted Concerts presents Juno Award (that’s the Canadian equivalent of the Grammys) winning guitarist and vocalist Robert Michaels in the Oak Grove Pavilion, a reprise of a concert from two years ago. Michaels favors Latin flamenco beats to create a fiery sound which, along with two musicians and an award-winning flamenco dancer, should get the crowed fired up too. If you’d rather stay indoors, the Ojai Youth Entertainers Studio has The Perry Brother’s Band – a popular family duo who also call Ojai home – with special guests Mia Perry, David Bowick, Steve Tremmel, Ed McCabe, Dan Wilson and Nashville session man Teddy Irwin. Brothers John & Terry play a mix of folk, country, blues and jazz, including lots of popular SoCal songs. And yes, it’s also on Saturday night. OYES’ monthly Play & Potluck series continues on Sunday with Orphan by Lyle Kessler, featuring Ventura Improv Company founding member Gary Best with Sage Stoneman and Chance Lang.

Santa Barbara-Style Celebrating Meanwhile, back in town, or at least just a short drive up the San Marcos Pass, Daniel French is presenting a free music festival on Saturday at the Paradise Store and Grill from 12noon until sunset. The roster boasts David Loeppke Band, All Natural Ingredients, Courtney and the Heathens, Angelo Meatcraft Flying Machine, Freakin on Speakers and others. Further north, Celtic Woman brings its lilting sounds and lively dancing to the Chumash Casino’s Samala Showroom on Thursday, May 30.

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Memorial Day Memorial Day Ceremony May 27, 2013 Ceremony Santa Barbara Cemetery

May 27, 2013 901 Channel Drive Santa Barbara Cemetery 10:00 AM 901 Channel Drive Special10:00 Salute to Korean AMWar Veterans • Special Salute to Live Korean War Veterans Music • • Live Music Keynote Speaker • Brigadier General Fred Lopez Keynote Speaker Brigadier General• Fred Lopez Flyover of Vintage Warbirds • Flyover of Vintage Warbirds

For the first time in many years Memorial Day will be commemorated in Santa Barbara withtime a truly which brings guest speakers,inthe Marine color For the first in memorable many yearsceremony Memorial Day willtogether be commemorated Santa Barbara guard, live musicceremony and a grand finale flyover of fourguest vintage airplanestheperforming the with a truly memorable which brings together speakers, Marine color “Missing guard, live musicMan” andformation. a grand finale flyover of four vintage airplanes performing the “Missing Man” formation.

The Pierre Claeyssens Veterans Museum & Library Foundation along with the Korean The Pierre Claeyssens Veterans LibraryWars Foundation along the women Korean War Veterans Assn. and theMuseum Veterans& of Foreign are honoring thewith men and War Veterans Assn.in and Veterans Foreign Wars are the on men women who served thisthe conflict alongofwith all veterans andhonoring their families thisand Memorial who served Day.in this conflict along with all veterans and their families on this Memorial Day.

For more information:

For more805 information: 966 1660 805 966 1660 pierreclaeyssensveteransmuseum.com pierreclaeyssensveteransmuseum.com

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with Julie Bifano Ms Bifano is Drawn to micro-fiction and is currently writing her first novel – “The Grace Below.” She has a B.A. in English with an emphasis in writing from the University of San Francisco and a M.F.A. in Creative Writing, also from the University of San Francisco. More of Julie’s stories and poetry can be viewed on her website juliebifano.com.

All the Brave Young Men

Alan Cutsinger donates two months out of the year to give tours and share stories on the planes. Here he is in front of the Consolidated B-24 Liberator named “Witchcraft.”

The Main Mechanic and Crew Chief for the B-17 Chris Dancik poses for a quick Shot.

riving up to the parking lot of the Atlantic Aviation building at the Santa Barbara Airport, I had no idea that I was about to be transported back in time to explore the replica planes from World War II that our fathers and grandfathers flew to save our country from Nazi Germany, and ultimately save the world. I was greeted by Atlantic Aviation’s General Manager, Aaron Mueller, who guided me over to meet Alan Cutsinger. Alan volunteers two months out of the year to remind us of our WWII veterans’ dedication and service to our country on replica planes like the Boeing B-17 Flying Fortress, Consolidated B-24 Liberator and North American P-51 Mustang. The

Wings of Freedom Tour flies to over 110 cities in ten and a half months regardless of snow, ice, rain or the temperate Santa Barbara sunshine we had on April 13, 2013, the day I discovered a whole new respect and understanding for our brave World War II veterans. Alan took me over to the powerful B-17 and to my surprise, part of the tour was to actually go inside the planes and learn about the different crewmembers’ functions. I couldn’t believe how tight the spaces were and how uncomfortable it would feel to fly for more than 10 hours in a plane like this. Alan explained, “They had to use oxygen tanks and breathe oxygen because the planes weren’t pressurized at the time.” He also

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Pilot Mac McCauley of the B-17 Flying Fortress before a short flight tour.

mentioned that temperatures would drop as low as 60 degrees below zero. I imagined a young 18 year old, right out of high school, cramped inside the different areas of the plane, freezing cold, probably hungry; all to fight the war, to save the world. My throat tightened as I imagined my own grandfather on a World War II plane fighting Nazi Germany. Pilot Mac McCauley, who flies the B17 for tours, described, “We’re able to talk to veterans and listen to their stories.” Clearly, there was no GPS back in those days. They used a radio compass and even a skylight used for celestial navigation, where a man would glance up at star constellations

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Jennifer Felix with son Grady next to the B-24 Liberator. The names on the plane represent the sponsors.

to navigate and find the plane’s correct positioning. I sat up in the bombardier’s chair where bombs were positioned to drop on Adolf Hitler’s aircraft factories and weapon manufacturing companies. I walked on a balance beam aluminum frame to the back of the plane and passed the radio operations station and the section where bombs were stored. Two areas of the plane that stood out on the tour were the tail gunner and ball turret positions. Alan explained the tail gunner position, “A man would sit down in a bicycle type of position, uncomfortably and by himself for more than ten hours. He was also right underneath the tail control surface, so he was constantly

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Cheryl Tedesco with children, Faith and Colton. Cheryl’s father was a Flight Engineer for the B-24 Liberator.

P-51 Mustang.

the number of missions a particular plane took. Alan escorted me over to the B-24 where Chief Pilot for the past ten years Jim Harley was standing. I met Jim and he immediately explained, “Our mission is to make sure we really can’t forget what happened in World War II, so the memory of the veterans remains constant.” Although I did not have the opportunity to tour the B-24, named “Witchcraft,” I was informed of its 130 missions. The last plane I walked over to view was the little North American P-51 Mustang. “This plane could escort the heavy bombers (like the B-17 and B-24) deep into Nazi Germany, protecting the bombers and allowing them to more Gene and Lorraine Cohen during the plane tour.

getting jerked around.” The ball turret on the base of the plane looked equally as awkward, scary and uncomfortable as the tail gunner position. A man would sit curled up in a little ball for hours upon hours protecting the plane from fighters attacking the plane from underneath. This position risked being scraped off the bottom in landings (which happened often, Alan informed me), being shot off or simply falling out when

the plane was attacked. The planes all had their own name that a crew (usually made up of ten men) would give to it. The B-17 was named “Nine O Nine” and flew 140 missions. Planes were painted as well with what they called nose art. The nose art on the B-17 was George Washington riding a bomb down to the target, thumbing his nose at Adolf Hitler. There were also little yellow bombs painted on the plane indicating

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effectively bomb strategic targets,” Alan said. There was only one man that would fly the P-51 and at the time it was an adrenalin rush because these “little friends” (as the bomber crews referred to them) flew up to 300 miles per hour. As the loud sound of the B-17 and B-24 propellers prepared for lift off, I felt my throat tighten again. I imagined all of these planes stationed in England, the rev of engines, the unsettling fear of war, and I was humbled. I stood in gratitude for my country and the veterans that saved the world from Nazi Germany in World War II. For more information on tours check out: www.collingsfoundation.org or visit their Facebook page: Collings Foundation.

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by Rachelle Oldmixon

Corvids Are Conspiring to Destroy Mankind

’ve never seen The Birds. And after a bit of research into corvids, I probably never will. Corvids – a family of birds including ravens, crows and rooks – are surprisingly intelligent. In fact, their intelligence rivals that of young children and most nonhuman primates. Here in Santa Barbara, we rarely see more than a few corvids in any given day. This past week, though, I took a quick trip back home to New York. The rainy weather reminded me of cool, damp autumns when flocks of crows would land in my backyard. They seemed to know my family’s schedule, only appearing after my father, who did everything in his power to scare them off, had left for work. Even as a kid, I was surprised by their “street smarts.” Corvids of all types frequently appear in myths and lore, playing the part of the trickster or the resourceful problem solver. Even those who know Aesop’s fables find it a little unnerving just how smart those birds are. For years, the lore about corvids was ignored. How could a bird be smart? You need a forebrain to have intelligence. Only mammals have forebrains. A corvid is not a mammal. Therefore, corvids are not intelligent. Simple logic. Simple, but wrong. Corvids, as it turns out, have very large brains for their body size, similar in ratio to that of a chimpanzee. And areas of their brain that are analogous to the mammalian prefrontal cortex, the nidopallium and mesopallium, are enlarged compared to other birds.

A self-professed science nerd, Rachelle has her B.A. in neuroscience from Skidmore College in upstate New York, and is working towards her Master’s in psychology at UCSB. In her free time, she blogs at www.synapticspeculations.com. She never could quite understand why she had to choose just one area of science; they are all fascinating. Especially when paired with some classic rock.

studied since the scientific community realized their potential intelligence. What has been found is more than anyone expected. Crows have at least five different calls for varying types of danger. These calls can be unique to each murder (the term for a flock of crows). In controlled studies, it turns out that North American crows do not show any understanding of nearly half the calls of European crows. In other words, not only do crows have some degree of language, they also have different dialects. That alone is enough to convince me that an event reminiscent of The Birds is not all that far-fetched.

An aptly-named “murder” of crows watched me closely from a tree outside my window as I wrote this column. Please send this photograph to authorities immediately in the event of my sudden disappearance.

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Corvids Regularly Fashion Implements of Destruction

Don’t Dress Up as a Troll in Washington State Corvids put their bird-brains to good use. Take, for example, an experiment conducted at the University of Washington. A team of researchers went out onto the campus and trapped crows at specific sites while wearing troll masks. After a short time, the birds were released. Then, a while later, the researchers donned either the troll mask or another mask and wandered around campus, being sure to visit the capture sites. Initially, the walks resulted in about 30% of the campus

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Blue jays are morons. Or are they?

A walk by yourself in the woods can be so peaceful, but stay vigilant. Corvid masterminds are everywhere. And they’re watching.

crows “jeering” at the researcher wearing the troll mask; some even dove at the troll mask. Over the next year, every single crow that encountered the researcher in the original troll mask jeered, attacked and generally made a ruckus. By the second year, a new generation of crows had been born, so the researchers again donned the masks and went out. Again, one hundred percent of the crows mocked the troll mask. The new generation, a whole population of crows that had never seen the mask, could correctly identify which of the masks was associated with being captured. This is not knowledge they were born with. It is knowledge they were given by the older generation. Freaky. The crows’ reaction to the mask implies several things: (1) Crows can recognize not only other crows, but individual humans; (2) corvids have an advanced memory system that allows them to hold a grudge, as a group, for over two years; (3) corvids teach each other important information; (4) corvids have a sophisticated form of communication; and (5) corvids are scary. Corvid language has been increasingly

To make my nightmares worse, corvids are also capable of using tools (in my mind, implements of destruction). But it’s not the use of tools alone that is so unnerving. Monkeys use tools. Otters use tools. So do many other species of animals. Where corvids are unique is in their development of tools. Very few other species outside of humans are able to go past finding tools into actually making them. But Corvids do. Wild corvids have been known to fashion hooks from sticks, and to make prodding and stabbing tools out of specific leaves. (See, told you, implements of destruction.) They have even been observed bending wire into a hook in order to reach a basket of food. And if a tool won’t suffice or isn’t available, crows are adept at using humans as tools to do their work. They’ve been known to memorize the schedule and route of garbage trucks in order to pick up any morsels that drop out of the truck. They regularly place nuts at busy intersections so that cars might break them open, waiting for the light to change before swooping down for their snack. So next time you see a crow or a raven, do yourself a favor. Don’t taunt it. It will remember. And you might regret it. With that said, if you see a blue jay (the crow’s cousin), by all means, scare him away from your yard. He’s not the sharpest knife in the drawer and will not likely remember your face. We hope.

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In the Garden with

Mr. Greenjeans

by Randy Arnowitz “Mr. Greenjeans,” as he is known around Santa

Barbara, is a gardener, horticulturist and writer. He particularly enjoys working with roses, orchids and sharing the day with his golden retriever Peaches, who faithfully accompanies him in the field. Contact him at greenjeansmr@gmail.com

To Beekeep Or Not To Beekeep

few years back, I had to remove a rogue colony of honeybees that had taken up residency inside a garage wall. Not wanting to call an exterminator to come and kill the colony, I eventually was put in contact with Paul Cronshaw. It wasn’t until a year or so later that I realized that the Paul Cronshaw that patiently and successfully lured this colony of literally thousands of bees out of the garage wall was the Paul Cronshaw who is, with good reason, known around Santa Barbara as The Bee Man. Like the Pied Piper of bees, Paul collected the colony in an operation called a bait out. I learned that this has nothing to do with gay fishermen but instead involves hanging a small temporary, or nuc, hive containing one frame of bees and a queen outside the entrance to the structure, or garage in my case. A “oneway” funnel is inserted into the entrance allowing the bees to exit the structure but not letting them back in. Instead, they enter the bait hive and find their new queen. After 6-8 weeks most or all of the bees are out of the wall and are ready to be transported to a permanent hive. Fast forward to May 11, 2013. I am sitting in a classroom on the magnificent grounds at the La Casa de Maria retreat and conference center. I am taking a oneday beginning apiculture, or beekeeping, workshop taught by, you guessed it, Paul Cronshaw. He is an enthusiastic, knowledgeable and engaging teacher. He’s got slides. He’s got books. He’s got cool examples of honeycomb, propolis, the different parts of a beehive, bee tools, bee gear – everything bees. His class syllabus covered everything from the history of beekeeping, bee anatomy and types of bees, to diseases, swarming behavior and hive management. I’d say he covered about as much material as was possible in the limited time we had for class. And, for someone who has the attention span of a gnat, I wasn’t bored at all and luckily didn’t get that thing, like when you’re in a classroom and your lids get so heavy and you can’t stop that embarrassing, chronic yawning. After a lunch break, we went outside and counted off by fives so we could break into groups. After a sudden, momentary, gym class flashback panic attack, I talked myself back down and went off with the other “threes” to suit up and find my hive. Once at the hive we gently blew pine needle smoke around the entrance to the hive and also under the top lid with a

Destination Mars. Or the apiary.

There is that stinging issue to consider.

smoker. This smoking calms the bees and drives them farther down into the hive to protect the queen. With the colony slightly sedated, we were more easily able to go about our work. Our goal was to inspect the hive and either locate the queen or check to see that she had been laying eggs. After removing one or two of the ten frames that make up a hive, we did find her. Much larger than the drones and workers, the queen is unmistakable and easily distinguishable from them. We next moved on to another hive and although we did not find her majesty, there was evidence of her by the tiny eggs she had deposited in the specialized nursery cells. We closed up that last hive and took off our gear. Beekeeping as a hobby is becoming very popular and seems to me that it could soon become as big as keeping chickens. Apart from it being fascinating and fun, the benefits of keeping bees are the increased pollination for crops and, of course, all that raw honey and beeswax, if you’re a crafts person. Keep in mind that there are county and city ordinances regarding backyard beekeeping so before investing in the equipment, it’s probably best to make sure your property can accommodate a hive or two. Beekeeping may not be everyone. Although, I’ve heard that you get used to that stinging issue. For myself, well, I’ve had little experience so far, but I think I might like beekeeping. Putting on the gloves, jacket and bee hood made me feel like I was going into space. As a kid I wanted to be an astronaut, but since

One hive may contain up to 60,000 bees. The gloves come in handy.

I don’t like confined spaces, Tang or air travel, beekeeping is probably a better fit. To find out more information about Santa Barbara Beekepers Association, visit www.sbba.org.

List of plants that attract bees: (from the Santa Barbara Beekeepers Association)

California poppy (Eschscholzia californica), Calendula (Calendula officinalis), Cosmos-yellow (Cosmos sulphureus), Marigold (Tagetes various), Sunflower (Helianthus annuus), Sweet pea (Lathyrus various), Tidy tips (Layia platyglossa), Blue flax (Linum lewisii), Zinnia (Zinnia various), Cucumber (Cucumis sativus), Melon (Cucumis melo), Peas (Pisum sativum), Squash (Cuburbita various), Strawberry (Fragaria various), Tomato (Solanum lycopersicum), Basil (Ocimum basilicum),

Borage (Borago officinalis), Chives (Allium schoenoprasum), Horehound (Marrubium vulgare), Lavender (Lavandula various), Mint (Mentha various), Oregano (Origanum vulgare), Rosemary (Rosmarinus officinalis), Culinary sage (Salvia officinalis), and Thyme (Thymus various).

Randy’s Quick Pick

ay is Public Gardens Appreciation Month, so get yourself out there and start appreciating. Alice Keck Park Memorial Garden, Casa del Herrero and Ganna Walska’s Lotusland are just a few of our public gardens worth exploring. For a list of special tours, talks and other garden events through the end of May, check out www.sbpublicgardens.org.

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MAZZA’S MISSIVE by Matt Mazza

On the Motivational Qualities of Grilled Chicken and Cold Beer

tevie Wonder saved my life on Tunnel Trail last weekend. No, I’m not talking about the thought of Stevie Wonder or the ghost of Stevie Wonder or a Stevie Wonder look-alike or anything else. I’m talking about Stevie-frickin’Wonder, man. Stevland Hardaway Morris. In the flesh. In the shades. With the braids. On Tunnel Trail. Last Saturday. I’d been running hard for around 16 miles at the time as part of a “workout” I’d been talked into doing by a good friend and it was hot up there, exposed to a fairly relentless and unforgiving south coast sun. I stopped for just a moment to catch my breath and check my iPod, which had inexplicably gone dead a few minutes earlier. Right as I was about to just give up, quit the run and throw the damned iPod off

the cliff below me, there’s Stevie, out of nowhere, moving easily up a rock face that I had just struggled hard to overcome. He looked right at me and smiled wide. “Boogie on reggae woman,” he told me, funky as can be. “B-b-but Stevie,” I stammered (audibly), “I’m not a woman. What gives, baby?” I tried to bring the funk myself but it fell far short, paling in comparison. Now, briefly, before I get to his response, I really should take a moment to make a couple qualifying statements, a few disclaimers, if you will, because what he said wasn’t exactly, ah, politically correct. First, I personally have zero tolerance for disrespect toward women (for clarity, Stevie didn’t seem to mean any disrespect). And I know lots of women who absolutely kick ass and run a hell of a lot further and faster than I do or can or ever will be able

Told you it was a nice day for a paddle.

to. So don’t take offense. Stevie didn’t mean no harm, baby. “You’re sure acting like one right now,” he said, straight up, still smiling wide, “more like a little girl, actually. Better get moving, my man, the top’s right around that next corner and it ain’t getting any closer with your just standing around.” With that he was gone, nimbly negotiating another rocky outcropping and disappearing around a bend – Stevie’s fitter than I’d have thought, frankly – leaving me alone somewhere in the Santa

Barbara front country to contemplate my masculinity (and my sanity). And my day wasn’t even half-over.

With Friends Like That… Maybe I should start in the beginning. After all, it wasn’t Stevie Wonder who got me into the mess described above, it was a friend. A long time friend, in fact. One I grew up with. (Ironically, the one who gave me my very first cigarette when I was a kid, we pinched it from his old

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That’s Danny (left) and me keeping our promise, crossing that finish line. Now where’s that chicken and beer damnit?

man all those years ago and snuck out and smoked it.) Danny Bertucelli, an uber-fit Santa Barbara County Firefighter (who, I’d be willing to wager, hasn’t pinched even a single cigarette in well over a decade), heard I’d been working out and trying to get fit again and gave me a call a few weeks ago. “Hey man,” he said plainly, not a hint of anything special in his voice, “I thought you might want to do this workout with me in mid-May, a little endurance challenge that’s supposed to be… challenging.” What can I say? I like challenges. They sound fun to me. So I agree to do them. (Owning and running a weekly paper, with no experience to speak of, comes to mind directly. There are lots of other things too. I digress.) In other words, I’m a sucker. “Sure man, sounds great. It’ll be fun.” “Yeah, fun,” he said, dry as a bone. “Maybe you should get a couple hours in on a paddleboard and a mountain bike. Don’t worry, it’ll be cool.” “Paddleboard and mountain bike, got it. Give me a call when it gets close and we’ll go from there.” That was it. I was committed. I had no idea what I was committed to, of course, but I was committed.

Promises, Promises I didn’t spend much time paddleboarding, exactly, or mountain biking, really, but did work hard at getting fit and eating right and generally being reasonably healthy. (I know, sounds weird, right?) The enormity of the task ahead became crystal clear when old Danny boy and his family came over for an early pasta dinner on the Friday afternoon before the “workout.” “Ok, so here’s the plan,” he said, nonchalantly. “Plan?” I laughed, “Do we really need a plan? Let’s just make it happen.” Danny looked, ah, well…what’s the right word? Concerned. “Yeah, Matt.” Danny never calls me Matt. “We’ve got a huge day tomorrow,

man. Seriously. It’ll take us at least twelve hours if we work really hard, I’ve heard some guys won’t even finish.” Huge day? Twelve hours? Some guys won’t finish? Uh-oh. This was the first time it really occurred to me that, maybe, just maybe, I should’ve spent a bit more time paddleboarding and mountain biking. As I probably should have anticipated, the “workout” turned out to be quite a bit more than Danny initially let on, with changeovers and support stations and electrolytes and Hammer Gels and all sorts of stuff I knew little about before the whole show got on the road. It started early in the morning on a beach way west of Goleta, took the participants around 10 miles down the coast on paddleboards, then on a treacherous marathon ending up at La Cumbre Peak (remember Stevie?), then back west along the ridge on a mountain bike and eventually, mercifully, down to the beach where it all started. The whole thing was around 75 fairly masochistic miles. The plan was for Danny to handle the majority of the paddle, me to handle the majority of the run and for both of us to do the entire bike portion together. The truth is that I wasn’t really ready. But I promised myself and my friend that we would cross that finish line, together. It was a promise I intended to keep.

I Get By With a Little Help From My Friends Saturday was one of those near-perfect Santa Barbara days. Light off-shores and blue skies and clear water for the morning paddle, low-tide for the long beach run, hot but not too hot for the trail run and a lovely evening for what quickly became an excruciatingly long and painful mountain bike ride. Danny and I followed the plan to near perfection. (Our wives and kids provided much needed support at certain intervals and were always a welcome sight for our particularly sore eyes… and legs and arms and, well, you get the idea.) We traded off

for the paddle and run sections and then set off on the nearly 40-mile mountain bike ride along the ridge together. It was absolutely brutal. Hands down the single most difficult physical thing I’ve ever done. By far. I loved every minute of it. We actually got lost at one point near Cold Spring Tavern and nearly stopped for a tri-tip sandwich and Pabst Blue Ribbon but, mostly at Danny’s urging (that was a tough little period for me), we remedied the directional mistake and carried on. “Chicken and beer” soon became our mantra – our team motto, if you will – as we covered a huge and mountainous distance on those bikes. Every time we’d come around a bend and see another significant climb or cramp-filled descent, we’d look at each other, suck down a Hammer Gel and talk about the chicken and beer at the finish line. And slowly but surely, little by little, we pushed on. Until eventually, 11 hours and 54 minutes after we started in the morning, utterly exhausted and physically, mentally and emotionally depleted (there was an embarrassing moment, just after my interaction with the Part-Time Lover himself, when I broke down into tears, sobbing uncontrollably as I ran), we crossed the finish line, together, six minutes ahead of our goal. We kept our promise. I have the chicken carcasses and empty beer cans to prove it. Congratulations, Danny, that was a hell of a day, man. I won’t forget it… and I can’t wait to do it again next year.

STUFF I LIKE I loved the “workout” I did last weekend with Danny Bertucelli. The fact is that there were 20 or 30 other guys and gals who participated, and each and every one of them was terrific. I’d name them

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all here but agreed not to in an effort to keep the whole thing as low-key and cool as possible. Families provided aid (physical and emotional) where needed, and the whole day was full of camaraderie, respect and some damn fine hard work. It was a very Santa Barbara event, for sure, underground, well thought out and full of fun and laughs. To everybody who was out there, thanks so much for including me and providing the encouragement necessary to get me over that finish line. And if any of you see Stevie Wonder around town, let him know that I appreciate the words of encouragement, even if he may have offended a few folks out there. (MP and BB – hell of a day guys, thanks again, see you next year for sure.) I like fitness all of a sudden, a lot. I’ve called her name out too many times now but I just have to say thanks again to friend (and Sentinel columnist) Jenny Schatzle. I’d never have finished that damned workout without her screaming at me during her bootcamp sessions. The fact is that I lost 16-18 pounds with Jenny in six weeks, got fit and generally cleaned up some bad habits to boot. Two and a half miles paddling, 18 miles running and 38 miles riding. Not bad for a fairly heavy drinker after just six weeks of Schatzle. Check her out at www.jennyschatzle.com, or just show up to her studio at 590 East Gutierrez. See you there. And be careful, Jenny might just change your life. There’s always something going on fitness-wise in town, but I’m looking forward to the Montecito Family YMCA Run Into Summer 5K Fun Run on Sunday, June 9, 2013. There’s a free t-shirt for the first 200 registrants and a post-race brunch. Hang out at the Y afterward to check out the facility and go for a swim. Should be fun. Google “Montecito YMCA Fun Run” and you’ll find all the links and information you need. Now… get training! See y’all in the trenches. Have a great week.

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Faces Of Santa Barbara

PUMP IT

by Patricia Clarke

by Jenny Schatzle

Patricia Clarke is an award-winning international photographer based in Santa Barbara. Fascinated by all aspects of the human condition, in recent years she has been turning her lens to her own community. In addition to many local exhibitions over the years, her work has been featured in London, Italy, Prague and around the United States. To see more of her local portraiture work, go to www. yourbestshot.us. Patricia’s fine art photography can be seen at www.patriciahoughton clarke.com. She can be reached at pcphotog@gmail.com

Walking Along, Part One

There’s Nothing to Fear…

Girls Will be Girls, 2008

try to walk the streets of Santa Barbara, “as if.” As if I were a stranger walking in a foreign land, seeing my town and the people in it with fresh eyes. In the same way that I do when I travel, I want to stay alert to new visual experiences in my own community that may seem mundane, or that I might be too preoccupied with daily life to pay attention to. What do visitors of Santa Barbara see that catches their interest? Here are some visitors who have caught mine. Meet Serge from Marseille with his lovingly handmade creations, Teddy Kelley from South Carolina (aka “Carney Man”) in his roamin’ home, and three girlfriends from Los Angeles having a day to play.

Fitness Professional/Life Motivator Jenny Schatzle runs the popular Jenny Schatzle Bootcamp right here in Santa Barbara. N.A.S.M , Cardio Kickboxing and SPIN Certified, Jenny was recently awarded Best Outdoor Fitness Program in town. Her motivation, energy and enthusiasm have created a community and program of all ages and fitness levels that cannot be described. It has to be experienced! Free on Saturdays at 8:30am. Go to www.jennyschatzle.com for details.

e’re just starting a new session of bootcamp this week and, as always, it’s a time of reflection for me. Each new session is filled with joy and fear and nerves and excitement, and this time around I am really focused on getting people past the fear. This is your personal fitness and your health. You can’t “fail,” and there’s no prize money or medal. This is something you do for you, and you (and everyone around you) reap the benefits! So why the fear? Get over it. Change is always scary, people, and fear of the unknown stops many of us from going on to potentially finding who or what we are truly meant to be. But this is your health and your life. Don’t let another day slip away. Seize the initiative, accept the responsibility. It’s not as hard as you think. And it only gets easier. This week’s workout is affectionately referred to as Tabata Training. No, it’s not ciabatta or some new Sushi restaurant (although its origins are indeed Japanese). Tabata is a form of high intensity interval training, involving a non-specific series of exercises that you do for 20 seconds, followed by a 10 second rest period, for a total of 8 rounds. Other that the fact it sounds cool to say you did a Tabata workout, the benefits are numerous and both aerobic and anaerobic (in other words, Tabata burns body fat, improves your cardio vascular system and builds lean muscle, among lots of other things). Additional benefits: You don’t need any equipment and you can do it at home or while traveling. So, once again, you have no excuses. Let’s do it.

Warm up:

Jog – 1 minute Jumping jacks – 1 minute (Alternate for a total of 5 minutes)

Tabata Workout (highest intensity, work very hard): Squat jumps – 20 seconds on/10 seconds off (for a total of 8 rounds, or 4 minutes) Rest 90 seconds Push-ups – 20 seconds on/10 seconds off (for a total of 8 rounds, or 4 minutes) Rest 90 seconds Carney, 2013

Jump lunges – 20 seconds on/10 seconds off (for a total of 8 rounds, or 4 minutes) Rest 90 seconds Pop ups – 20 seconds on/10 seconds off (for a total of 8 rounds, or 4 minutes) Rest 90 seconds Crunches – 20 seconds on/10 seconds off (for a total of 8 rounds, or 4 minutes) Rest 90 seconds Alternating side lunges – 20 seconds on/10 seconds off (for a total of 8 rounds, or 4 minutes) Rest 90 seconds That’s it. Forty(ish) hard minutes a day this week and you’re done. Run through the routine twice if you’re feeling strong, but that will be a real challenge if you are working at a truly high intensity level. Do it as many days as possible. Chart your progress. And if you have any questions about any of the exercises or anything else (or you want more or need a little motivation), please feel free to contact me directly at 805.698.6080 or jenny@jennyschatzle.com.

Serge’s Birds, 2013

Write Jenny a letter (letters@santabarbarasentinel.com) or contact her directly with any questions at jenny@jennyschatzle.com. And go get ‘em, the Sentinel is rooting for you.

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FACEBOOK •MOVIE N E W S L E TGUIDE• TER

by Jim Luksic

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A longtime writer, editor and film critic, Jim has worked nationwide for several websites and publications – including the Dayton Daily News, Key West Citizen, Topeka Capital-Journal, Las Cruces Sun-News and Santa Ynez Valley Journal. California is his seventh state. When he isn’t watching movies or sports around the Central Coast and Los Angeles, you can find Jim writing and reading while he enjoys coffee and bacon, or Coke and pizza.

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Thursday - May FAIRVIEW FIESTA 5

The Air Up There

ummer at the cinema is starting to simmer, which means blockbusters will keep bubbling to the surface. We’ve already witnessed the box-office battle between Iron Man 3 and The Great Gatsby; both films are overlong and uneven, but undeniably entertaining. On the horizon, with their widespread clips getting more ubiquitous by the day, are Man of Steel and World War Z. The former has my attention – in part because the hero’s adoptive parents are Kevin Costner and Diane Lane, residing in Kansas; the latter thriller has drummed up unwanted buzz due to its soaring budget. (So much for the dictum; there’s no such thing as bad publicity.) Each film naturally triggers urgent questions: Can Zack Snyder’s chronicle of Superman succeed without any Kryptonite? Can Brad Pitt help reinvent the zombie genre? Inquiring minds want to know. By now, anybody with functioning eyes has seen the trailer for The Heat – a purported buddy-cop comedy starring Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy as crime fighters – because it’s been wafting through theater and TV screens since January. I have endured its preview more times than I care to admit in public. The completed movie, if it really exists, is now slated for late June – though we can’t be certain that means June 2013. As for a picture that has actually materialized, at warp speed: Star Trek Into Darkness takes us where its predecessors have gone before: Into the futuristic world of the USS Enterprise. At front and center – as was the case four years ago – is Chris Pine as Capt. James Kirk, who rescues Spock (Zachary Quinto) from a volcanic demise but gets taken to task by the admiral (Bruce Greenwood): “You don’t respect the chair.” One of their own is detonating the fleet, placing people inside torpedoes and generally raising hell where no man has gone before: Call it one giant leap for man Khan. A warning about the most formidable of Star Trek foes is emphasized by none other than Leonard Nimoy, via video screen. If this dynamic re-launching isn’t close “in spirit” to the TV series, at least loyalists can take solace in an original cast member’s cameo. Director J.J. Abrams, who helmed the previous mission, teams with a trio of screenwriters to keep the action swirling, the wisecracks cracking and tears flowing. Even the logical Vulcan won’t be immune to emoting. Conversations boast a balance of quips and underlying tension that become as prevalent as the explosions and battles. As is too often the case in the realm of sci-fi, anything goes in this latest Star Trek voyage, which kicks off with a rollicking but tedious sequence on a primitive planet whose natives are as restless as they are defensive. The filmmaker strives to grab our attention from the get-go, but his strategy backfires: Audiences are dropped into a frenzy, replete with jittery close-ups, and during those five minutes we couldn’t care less who is doing what. The cast has faces old and new: We recognize Scotty (amusing Simon Pegg), Admiral Pike (steady Bruce Greenwood), Uhura (sleek Zoe Saldana), Bones (overzealous Karl Urban), Sulu (cool-as-a-comet John Cho) and Chekov (exasperating Anton Yelchin). The beautiful, if out of place, Alice Eve gets beamed aboard as the mysterious Carol. Although his detractors think otherwise, the oft-targeted Abrams obviously knows a thing or three about otherworldly adventures, given his overseeing Super 8 and cutting his teeth while traversing TV’s land of Lost. Whether those prosperous projects have adequately prepared him for the upcoming Star Wars: Episode VII remains to be seen – or avoided at all cost.

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1317 State Street - 963-4408  EPIC (PG) 3D: Daily - 3:15 8:30 (PG-13) 2D on 2 Screens: INTO DARKNESS (PG-13) Fri - 12:40 2:00 4:40 3D: 2:00 2D: 5:10 8:15 5:50 7:15 Sat-Mon - 11:30 12:40 2:00 4:40 5:50 7:15 371 Hitchcock Way - S.B. Tue-Thu - 2:00 4:40 5:50 7:15 SCATTER MY ASHES (PG-13)  THE GREAT GATSBY AT BERGDORF’S (PG-13) 3D: Fri-Mon - 1:15 (PG-13) Fri & Tue-Thu - 7:15 Sat-Mon - 2:10 4:50 7:15 Tue-Thu - 1:25 2D: Daily - 4:30 7:45 LOVE IS ALL YOU NEED (R)

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 THE HANGOVER PART III (R) 12:20 2:45 4:20 Features Stadium Seating (Metropolitan Theatres) 5:15 6:40 7:45 10:10  THE HANGOVER PART III 618 State Street - S.B. Playing on 2 Screens (R) Fri-Mon  FAST & FURIOUS 6 (PG-13) 12:00 1:10 2:20 3:40  FAST & FURIOUS 6 (PG-13) Fri-Mon 2 Screens! 4:50 6:10 7:20 8:40 9:50 12:30 1:30 4:30 1:00 2:30 4:00 5:30 Tue-Thu - 2:20 3:40 4:50 7:25 9:15 10:20 7:00 8:30 10:00 6:10 7:20 8:40 Playing on 2 Screens Tue-Thu Playing on 2 Screens 1:45 3:30 4:45 6:30 7:45  STAR TREK (PG-13)  -THE GREAT GATSBY 2D Weekly Discounts Showtimes - Film INTOInformation DARKNESS  STAR TREK (PG-13) Fri-Mon (PG-13) 4:00Solicitation) 3D:(No INTO DARKNESS Sign Up.....www.metrotheatres.com 12:10 3:15 6:30 9:40 3D: Fri-Mon - 6:40 2D on 2 Screens: Discount Admission Tue-ThuCoupons - 2:10 5:25 on 8:30both FACEBOOK Tue-Thu - 7:00 1:00 2:30 5:30 in our weekly NEWSLETTER (PG-13) MUD Email 2D: Fri-Monand 7:00 8:30 10:00 Fri-Mon 12:40 3:40 9:45 Thu 5/30 - No 8:30 Show! 12:45 3:45 6:40 9:25 Tue-Thu - 1:00 4:00 IRON MAN 3 (PG-13) Tue/Wed - 2:30 5:15 8:00 2D IRON MAN 3 (PG-13) Features Stadium Seating Features Stadium Seating Courtyard Open9:40 2D: 12:45 3:45Bar6:50 Thu - 2:30 5:15 Fri-Mon Fri & Sat - 4:30 - 8:30 916 State Street - S.B. 225 N. Fairview - Goleta Thursday, May 30 - 8:00 pm Thursday Night - 9:00 pm 12:30 3:30 6:30 9:25 1317 State Street - 963-4408 EPIC EPIC (PG) 4:30 7:30  NOW YOU Tue-Thu- 1:20 SEE(PG) ME (PG-13)  AFTER EARTH (PG-13) 3D: Daily - 3:15 8:30 3D: Fri - 5:40  STAR TREK (PG-13) 2D on 2 Screens: Sat-Mon - 12:20 5:40 INTO DARKNESS Tue-Thu - 5:30 Fri - 12:40 2:00 4:40 3D: 2:00 2D: 5:10 8:15 5:50 7:15 2D: Fri - 1:45 3:00 4:20 Sat-Mon - 11:30 12:40 2:00 7:00 8:30 4:40 5:50 7:15 Sat-Mon - 11:15 1:45 3:00 371 Hitchcock Way - S.B. 4:20 7:00 8:30 Tue-Thu - 2:00 4:40 5:50 7:15 Tue-Thu - 1:45 3:00 4:20 SCATTER MY ASHES 7:00 8:00  THE GREAT GATSBY AT BERGDORF’S (PG-13)  THE GREAT GATSBY 2D 3D: Fri-Mon - 1:15 (PG-13) Fri & Tue-Thu - 7:15 Sat-Mon - 2:10 4:50 7:15 Fri & Tue-Thu - 2:05 5:10 8:15 Tue-Thu - 1:25 Sat-Mon (PG-13) 2D: Daily - 4:30 7:45 LOVE IS ALL YOU NEED (R) 11:00 2:05 5:10 8:15 Fri & Tue-Thu - 7:30 THE ICEMAN (R) Sat-Mon - 1:40 4:30 7:30 Fri-Mon 12:30 3:00 5:40 8:15 2044 Alameda Padre Serra - S.B. Tue-Thu - 3:00 5:40 8:15 KON-TIKI (PG-13) Features Stadium Seating IRON MAN 3 (PG-13) Fri & Tue-Thu - 5:00 7:40

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W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

Plan B by Briana Westmacott Hailing from NorCal, Briana has lived in Santa Bar-

bara for the past fifteen years. While she is indeed an adjunct faculty member at SBCC and has contributed to LOVEmikana, Wake & Wander and Entrée Magazine, much of her time is spent multi-tasking her way through days as a mother, wife, sister, wantto-be chef and travel junky. Writing is an outlet that ensures mental stability… usually.

Soliciting Sitters

to find responsible, loving, kind, energetic caretakers who actually want to hang out with my children. Sometimes there’s a long list of contacts to pull from and other times we’ll be struggling to find one. This is why I’m constantly soliciting sitters.

Call Me, Maybe... Now if you’re a mother, you can comprehend my little obsession, and you may get extremely jealous of what some of my paramount sitters have done. These special caretakers have been known to bring large canvases and painting supplies to create artwork that still hangs on the kids’ walls. They have purchased and toted over all the necessary goods to make food crafts (purple cauliflower is pretty cool to eat), Christmas cookies and soups with my girls. They bring bags of books to share from their own childhood libraries and often times leave them with the girls to cherish. It warms my heart to see them in action. Love is abundant.

…Maybe Not

We’ll miss you when you go, Lindsey. Good luck at Cal – Go Bears!

’m guilty. I am constantly checking out young men and women. Do they appear to have a little extra spring in their step? Is kindness apparent in their facial expression? Do they give off a sense of being overly patient? If the answer to all – ok, most – of those questions is yes, then I accost. I’ve nabbed phone numbers from young adults in the park, at Chaucer’s, at the YMCA and even from some of my star students at SBCC. Because, you see, as a mother you can never, ever have too

many good babysitters. I never take offense when one of my children asks, “Mom, can we have Lindsey (one of our star sitters) come tonight instead of you?” These words don’t sting a bit; rather they give me a sense of overwhelming happiness. Even when my kid goes off the deep end and spits out a fueled, “Arriana (our other start sitter) is nicer than you, Mom!” in my mind, I think, that’s fabulous, I’m really getting my money’s worth out of Arriana! Bravo, me. When I’ve got great babysitters, you see, I feel accomplished. It takes a lot of work

We’ve had some flops too, of course. There have been contacts that I didn’t hesitate to delete from the list. One time I was texting my sitter (which is really the only way babysitters communicate these days) and after finalizing her arrival time for the evening, I received the following text: “It was a really weird high last night, wasn’t it?” High! WHAT?! Is she referring to drugs (yes, obviously) and why is she sending me this message? I immediately panicked. I grabbed my husband and read him the text. We collectively decided that we’d be in need of a last minute replacement sitter for the evening. Our “high” sitter later followed up with, “That text was not meant for you.” I replied with, “We have decided to stay in tonight so no need to come over.” Contact, deleted.

Dialed In

Not every sitter needs to be a saint, but I generally like them to bring their “A” game when they are with my darlings. Of course, a star sitter also has to fair well with the parents when we return home from an evening of fun. And I’ve been known to be quite chatty after a couple glasses of wine. Arriana always (graciously) acts like she enjoys conversing with me before she heads home to bed. There was one time when I got a tad, ah, disorganized after having a little too much fun and wrote her a check that was not only $20 short her due payment (I’m not good with math – dead sober or happily buzzed) but after a phone call a few days later, she informed me that the check could not be accepted by the bank because the amount was illegible. (Told you I was disorganized, what did you think I meant?) I immediately tagged an extra bonus onto a new check and dropped it in the mail. I definitely do not want to lose Arriana from my list. She brings art and cauliflower to our house for Pete’s sake! My neighbor, Lindsey, is a senior at Dos Pueblos High School and our other star sitter. I have to admit, when she recently informed me that she got accepted to UC Berkeley for the fall, my heart sank (selfish, I know). She also got accepted to UCSB and I was blatantly biased as I gave her gentle nudges to stay in town. Alas, I do know the importance of testing your wings and Lindsey is more than ready to fly. I am happy for her, truly. (Seriously.) But I’m already mourning the loss we will suffer when she goes. That’s it. I’m going to book up our summer with date nights and wine tastings and any miscellaneous adult outings just to utilize her services before she ventures off to find her path in life. And while I’m out there, don’t be alarmed if you catch me scoping out other young, able individuals and collecting some digits. After all, a mom’s got to do what a mom’s got to do.

Briana’s Best Bets

superstar! s ant abarbara stickers.com

here have been horribly frightening times when my babysitter list has dried up. All the college students have packed their bags or lined up jobs that no longer have them watching kids to make ends meet. When in a bind, I always turn to the classified postings on www.parentclick.com. Parent Click is a local resource for parents with just about any information you may need that involves children, including a place where babysitters and nannies can post their availability and resumés. Give it a click.

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Memorial Day weekend guide

LOVE IS FREE .com

WINE & DINE Loaf Story

by Eve Sommer-Belin

e chicks sure loaf our bread and are excited to have discovered Genuine Bread Company artisan loaves popping up around town. Passionate about bringing handmade, “real bread” back into our lives, three wonderful bakers – Jeff Appareti, Andrew Elia and Geoff Jensen – have come together to create top notch bread au levain (sourdough) on the Central Coast. Thank goodness, we sure kneaded it! Go to their website (www.genuinebreadco. com) and sign up for their bread-share program – a fresh loaf a week with your name on it! Or, pre-order single loaves that you can pick up at one of several locations in town (French Press, C’est Cheese or Goodland Kitchen). Keep an eye out for a storefront to pop up soon and be ready to be invited in by the wafting smells of fresh baked bread. It’s worth breaking, for sure. So stop loafing around and get some Genuine Bread Company for yourself!

STYLE FILE Bow WOW

by Briana Westmacott

o you have a tail-wagger in your home? If so, we know right where you should go to get your furball styled with the latest and greatest pet gear. George in the Montecito Country Mart specializes in spectacular pet provisions. From food to treats, from beds to collars, from costumes (yep, costumes) to toys, George carries top-of-the-line pet products for cats and dogs. Pet lovers are going to drool over all the goodies George carries for your four-legged friends. So, whether you have a kitty or a pooch, George will wow you with all you need to thoroughly pamper your pet. Check them out online at www.georgesf.com. Woof.

What: Yasa Yoga Second Anniversary Celebration Where: Yasa Yoga, 22 West Mission Street, Suite B When: Saturday, May 25, 9am – 6pm Why: Celebrate the yoga studio anniversary by attending free yoga classes all day long. How: Be flexible and fit this into your weekend.

What: I Madonnari Italian Street Painting Where: The Santa Barbara Mission When: Saturday, May 25 – Monday, May 27 Why: This annual favorite transforms the Old Mission plaza with 200 colorful, large-scale street paintings created by 400 artists. How: Chalk it up to a love of art!

What’ll It Cost Me: Free!

LOOSE CHANGE What: Retreat to Red Rock Where: Red Rock Trailhead, Paradise Road, Santa Ynez When: Friday, May 24 – Monday, May 27 Why: Hike, swim, BBQ... How: Be sure to get a $5 Adventure Access Pass from Big 5 Sporting Goods before you go. What’ll It Cost Me: $5 per car. Visit www.santabarbarahikes.com for more info.

BIG SPENDER What: Transform your Tan Where: Carlyle Salon & Style Bar, 350 Chapala Street, #101 When: Friday, May 24 – Monday, May 27 Why: Because you haven’t had time to work on that tan that will go great with your summer whites. How: Get sprayed with a golden glow. What’ll It Cost Me: $25 per tan

What: Soul Fried Summer Where: 7 Bar & Kitchen, 224 Helena Avenue When: Sunday, May 26, 11am – 6pm Why: 7 is kicking off summer with live soul, funk and vinyl music, art, drink and food. How: Head to the Funk Zone, friends. What’ll It Cost Me: Tickets are $12 (includes a Firestone 805 draft beer). What: Summer Sippin’ Shindig Where: Coghlan Vineyard Tasting Room, 2366 Alamo Pintado Avenue, Los Olivos When: Saturday, May 25, 5pm – 9pm Why: Toast the return of warm summer days with live blues by Spun Honey, southern-style BBQ from Georgia’s Smokehouse and wine from Coghlan. How: Sip, shake and savor at this sure-to-be-fun shindig. What’ll It Cost Me: Tickets range from $40-$65

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W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

REAL ESTATE by Michael Calcagno

Michael has consistently been ranked in the top 1% of Sotheby’s agents worldwide. Shortly after joining Sotheby’s, he partnered with Nancy Hamilton to form one of the most successful real estate teams in Santa Barbara. Michael can be reached at Michael@ HomesinSantaBarbara.com

Week in Review

opefully you enjoyed last week’s article and breakdowns comparing current mortgage payments (with current interest rates) against what one would have had to pay in 2005. It is quite eye-opening how much interest rates can affect a homeowner’s payments. This past week has been right on par with other recent weeks, showing steady numbers. Before we showcase a few great new listings, here are the numbers for the past week. In the areas East & West of State Street and Hope Ranch in the price ranges of $400,000 - $1,700,000 there were 19 new listings. In the same week there were 19 closings and 14 properties that went pending. I think the numbers speak for themselves about the current market. So what’s new on the market this week?

5 West Padre Street

An extensively remodeled Spanish style home is located just blocks from downtown Santa Barbara and the Mission. Designed with an indoor/outdoor feel, this single-level, three-bedroom, two-bath home offers access to its brick-lined patio from every room. The living room displays a custom open beamed cathedral ceiling and has great natural light throughout.

890 Clark Road

This San Roque home, located in the Peabody school district, includes four bedrooms and three baths in 2,000 square feet. The house has had a sizable addition and remodel and boasts a large entertaining-friendly backyard. My guess? This one will move quickly.

890 Clark Road

Newly built in 2006, this 3,468 ± sq. ft. home has five bedrooms and four baths and is located in Monte Vista School district. The home includes two custom fireplaces, a master suite and a two-car garage with plenty of storage. Purchase price: $1,579,000  Down payment (20%): $315,800 Loan amount: $1,263,200 Payment: $4,991 (5-yr fixed 2.5% (2.59%APR))

Property taxes: $1,447 Home Insurance: $100

Total Monthly Payment: $6,538 5 West Padre Street

Purchase price: $1,195,000  Down payment (20%): $239,000 Loan amount: $956,000 Payment: $4,292 (30-yr fixed 3.5% (3.61%APR))

Property taxes: $1,095 Home Insurance: $100

Total Monthly Payment: $5,487 Mortgage statistics provided by Justin M. Kellenberger, Senior Loan Officer at SG Premier Lending Group, Inc. Justin can always be reached at justin@sgpremierlending.com. Note: The foregoing economic breakdowns do not include potential tax benefit analyses since that will ultimately depend upon a number of additional factors. But home ownership can indeed have tremendous tax-savings potential and should be considered with your realtor and/or tax accountant as part of the ownership decision.

Neither Mr. Calcagno nor Sotheby’s International Realty is necessarily the listing broker or agent for any of the foregoing properties

325 East Alamar Avenue

Purchase price: $995,000 Down payment (20%): $199,000 Loan amount: $796,000 Payment: $3,197 (7-yr fixed 2.65% (2.71%APR))

Property taxes: $912 Home Insurance: $100

Total Monthly Payment: $4,209

8 0 5 . 8 4 5 .1 6 7 3 | 1 3 3 E A S T D E L A G U E R R A S T R E E T | N O.1 8 2 | S A N TA B A R B A R A

OPEN HOUSE GUIDE SUNDAY, MAY 26

M AY 24 – 3 1 | 2 0 1 3 |

Downtown

18 West Victoria Street #109 12-5pm $855,000 0bd/1ba Alma Del Pueblo Sales Team 845-4393 Village Properties 18 West Victoria Street #205 12-5pm $1,459,000 1bd/2ba Alma Del Pueblo Sales Team 845-4393 Village Properties 18 West Victoria Street #212 12-5pm $2,500,000 2bd/3ba Alma Del Pueblo Sales Team 845-4393 Village Properties 18 West Victoria Street #307 12-5pm $1,250,000 1bd/2ba Alma Del Pueblo Sales Team 845-4393 Village Properties 316 West Ortega 1-4pm $995,000 3bd/2.5ba Susan Jordano 680-9060 Village Properties 5 West Padre 1-4pm $995,000 3bd/2ba Ron Madden 284-4170 Village Properties 821 Laguna Street #D 2-4pm $999,000 2bd/2.5ba Jean Sedar 637-7848 Coldwell 1827 Anacapa Street 12-4pm $1,025,000 3bd/2ba Brooke Ebner 453-7071 Prudential California Realty 1219 Laguna Street 1-4pm $1,175,000 3bd/1.5ba Wilson Quarre 680-9747 Sotheby’s International Realty 1800 Garden Street 2-4pm $1,150,000 3bd/1.5ba Dan Crawford 886-5764 Sotheby’s International Realty 601 East Micheltorena Street #85 1-3pm $995,000 3bd/2.5ba Ken Switzer 680-4622 Prudential California Realty 4650 Via Roblada 1-4pm $4,450,000 4bd/6ba Cara Gamberdella 680-3826 Village Properties 2509 Calle Montilla 1-4pm $1,397,000 4bd/3ba Cathy Moseley 570-6006 Coldwell 1409 Shoreline Drive 1-5pm $5,000,000 4bd/4ba Gene Archambault 455-1190 Sun Coast Real Estate 1210 Shoreline Drive 1-4pm $2,950,000 3bd/2.5ba Scott Williams 451-9300 Prudential California Realty 467 & 471 Mountain Drive 1-4pm $2,295,000 5bd/3ba Jim Patterson 448-9244 Village Properties 219 Conejo Road 2-5pm $1,995,000 4bd/4ba Frank Abatemarco 450-7477 Sotheby’s International Realty 1255 Dover Lane 1-4pm $995,000 2bd/1ba Thomas Dabney 689-7306 Village Properties 2224 Gibraltar Road 2-4pm $3,950,000 3bd/3ba Jason Streatfeild 280-9797 Prudential California Realty 1734 Franceschi Road 1-4pm $2,499,000 4bd/3ba Jo Ann Mermis 895-5650 Prudential California Realty 1300 Las Alturas Road 2-4pm $1,895,000 4bd/2.5ba Pascale Bassan 689-5528 Prudential California Realty 514 Tallant Road 1-4pm $949,000 3bd/2ba David Hekhouse 455-2113 Village Properties 2917 Serena Road 1-5pm $1,100,000 3bd/2ba Jan Dinmore 455-1194 Prudential California Realty 3639 San Remo Drive #36 By Appt. $525,000 2bd/2ba Rose Van Schaik 452-2051 Prudential California Realty 1306 Chino Street 1-3pm $719,000 2bd/2ba Madhu Khemani 252-0625 Prudential California Realty 1609 Calle Canon 2-4pm $699,000 2bd/1ba Kathy Strand Spieler 895-6326 Prudential California Realty 159 Alpine Drive 1-4pm $775,000 4bd/2ba Rochelle Schneider 448-6227 Coldwell 445 Stanford Place 1-4pm $864,000 4bd/2ba Lauren Temkin 403-5125 Coldwell 675 Edgewood Drive 2-5pm $799,000 4bd/2.5ba Nicole Dinkelacker 570-8444 Village Properties 447 Conejo Lane 1-3pm $949,000 3bd/2ba Justin Corrado 451-9969 Sotheby’s International Realty 114 El Sueno Road By Appt. $589,000 3bd/2.5ba Julian Michalowski 629-0254 Sotheby’s International Realty 7777 Jenna Drive By Appt. $769,500 4bd/2ba Robert Heckes 637-0047 Sotheby’s International Realty 4847 Rim Road 1-4pm $1,172,000 3bd/3ba Michelle Cook 570-3183 Sotheby’s International Realty 538 Mills Way 2-4:30pm $475,000 2bd/1.5ba Christopher Hunt 453-3407 Village Properties 706 Rockwood Drive 2-4pm $1,825,000 3bd/4ba Barbara Gallagher 689-5785 Prudential California Realty 7070 Marymount Way 2-4pm $449,000 2bd/1.5ba Jamie Jo Sim 689-5799 Prudential California Realty

Eastside

Hope Ranch Mesa

Mission Canyon Riviera

San Roque Area

Westside Goleta

Member FDIC

Exceeding Expectations in Your Neighborhood

Adam Black | VP, Senior Loan Officer 805.452.8393 | ablack@bankofmanhattan.com

Rana cREEk Ranch | WEb: 0113687 | $59,950,000 Suzanne Perkins 805.895.2138

nOtablE OcEanfROnt EStatE | WEb: 0592563 | $32,000,000 Michael Calcagno 805.896.0876, Nancy Hamilton 805.451.4442

EquEStRIan EStatE | WEb: 0113549 | $14,950,000 Suzanne Perkins 805.895.2138

Expect Expertise. Sophisticated marketing approach. Renowned auction house. Global real estate network.

panORamIc OcEan vIEWS | WEb: 0632073 | $7,495,000 Peggy Olcese 805.895.6757

GatEd mOntEcItO EStatE | WEb: 0631994 | $4,850,000 Ron Dickman 805.689.3135

panORamIc OcEan vIEWS | WEb: 0113657 | $4,850,000 Maureen McDermut 805.570.5545

OcEan vIEW ShOWcaSE | WEb: 0592554 | $4,675,000 Nancy Hamilton 805.451.4442, Michael Calcagno 805.896.0876

OcEanfROnt cOntEmpORaRy | WEb: 0113633 | $4,200,000 Janet Caminite 805.896.7767

Santa ynEz vIEW cOmpOund | WEb: 0621520 | $3,695,000 Laura Drammer 805.448.7500

mOntEcItO claSSIc | WEb: 0113469 | $3,495,000 Maureen McDermut 805.570.5545, Peggy Olcese 805.895.6757

ImmaculatE tRadItIOnal | WEb: 0113698 | $2,350,000 Dan Johnson 805.895.5150

uppER EaSt SpanISh-StylE | WEb: 0592589 | $1,150,000 Michael Calcagno 805.896.0876, Nancy Hamilton 805.451.4442

Santa baRbaRa aREa bROkERaGES | sothebyshomes.com mOntEcItO cOaSt vIllaGE ROad bROkERaGE | mOntEcItO uppER vIllaGE bROkERaGE Santa baRbaRa bROkERaGE | Santa ynEz vallEy bROkERaGE Operated by Sothebyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s International Realty, Inc.