The Nun, the Yogi and the Search for a Cure by Montecito Journal

IN YOUR FACE

VERDé NICE

FACIAL RECOGNITION SOFTWARE HAS NOTHING ON THAT HARD DRIVE IN your head, P.27

BE THEY SERRANOS, POBLANOS OR EVEN ANCHOS, SOUTHWEST CHEF JIM GARTMAN SERVES THEM UP AT VERDé, P.8

SANTA BARBARA

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The nun, the Yogi and the Search for a Cure

by Matt Mazza

Let’s GET SPIRITUAL

Hindu monastics SCHOOLED BY FATHER OF resistance flexibility get RESULTs THAT EVEN AGNOSTICS MUST ACKNOWLEDGE 8 DAYS A WEEK PAGE 10

PRESIDIOSPORTS PAGE 16

PLAN B PAGE 28

guess I’m not quite sure where to start this week. (I think you’ll understand the reasons for that by the time you get to the bottom of this column.) So I suppose I’ll start at what I see roughly as the beginning. First and foremost, it would be disingenuous to suggest that I am a particularly religious guy. I’m not. And I have my reasons for that. It would be similarly disingenuous, however, to suggest that I am some sort of spiritual guru. I’m not. Although I suspect that, if I were pressed, I would fall more to that side of the spectrum, the one that I see as being a more personal and perhaps mystical transcendental journey. With all that said, what’s most important to me, really, is reflection. (Just ask my incredibly patient and tolerant wife.) I don’t mean only selfreflection, of course, I mean reflection upon all things, and how and why they affect the things around them. For me, then, endeavoring to understand the intertwined interrelationships of things in this world – the natural, the emotional, the physical – is, I suppose, a reasonably spiritual undertaking. ...continued p.5

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The Good Life awaits you

Content

COVER

P.6 P.7

azza’s Missive – Two Hindu monastics and one resistance flexibility guru walk into a Vedanta M Temple. One comes out cured of Multiple Sclerosis. EIC Matt Mazza – a voyeur in the temple – is thrilled, amazed and dumbfounded, all at the same time.

It’s Crime Time – Come on, you know you like it. L etters to the Editor – This whole naming convention for single – they are single, aren’t they? – women of varying ages going after younger men is getting ridiculous, but we can’t seem to stop talking about it; praise for Loretta Redd’s piece on electoral politics; should the Funk Zone secede now that it has its own Patron Saint, logo and tagline? (Spoiler alert: Who cares… the Patron Saint is hot); and John Morrison stands up to Leoncio Martins. (We’re not sure that was a good idea, John.)

P.8

T he Dish – Wendy Jenson hit Verdé, State Street’s new Southwestern cuisine (and comedy!) hot spot. The place looks great, Wendy, and we can’t wait to get in there for some of those Hatch chilies. Save us a seat upstairs.

P.9

T he Beer Guy – There’s no doubt that Eureka! Burger in Paseo Nuevo has played a role (even a large role) in the blossoming (burgeoning?) beer culture here in Santa Barbara, says resident expert Zach Rosen. So get over there this weekend and help Eureka! celebrate its one year anniversary… should be a blast.

P.10

Eight Days A Week – There’s lots going on this week in town, and you can read all about it right here in the Sentinel’s (editorial) calendar. But that’s enough about that. Jeremy Harbin’s rhetorical question in the September 10 entry has got us concerned. We never find ourselves wondering when was the last time we went to the beach, Jeremy, we go all the time. And you’d better get your ass down there, dude, like yesterday. Mandatory Sentinel furlough day. If you don’t, then we’re going to have a problem. A big problem.

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I n the Garden with Mr. Greenjeans – Come on, Randy, black tomatoes? You’re pulling our leg. Black tomatoes? Black tomatoes!? S anta Barbara View – Sharon Byrne catches a 30-year-old Caucasian male vandal in the act and doesn’t let him off the hook (right on, Sharon, go get ‘em); Loretta Redd riffs on the nexus between under-reported and unrecognized male depression and politics. (Oh… now we get it. Thanks Loretta.)

P.16

P residio Sports – The NCAA Soccer College Cup may return to UCSB’s Harder Stadium in 2014 (fingers crossed, seriously, that was fun back in 2010); the Pier to Peak Half-Marathon went down last weekend (hey, they stole their race name from our tagline… wait, they pre-dated us?); Bishop Diego wins big in season opener (congrats guys). And the Weekend High School Football Schedule is back!

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M an About Town – Mark Léisuré gets a kick out of war and related comedy (kidding, old Mark actually can’t seem to believe that Iraq Vet Thom Tran makes jokes about all that); he also digs the new Comedy Hideaway up at Verdé (check out more details about the food at Verdé in The Dish this week), the upcoming fun. show at the Bowl and the Chumash Resort and Casino. (Wow, Mark, that’s a lot in just one week for a man of leisure.)

P.21

The Mindful Word – Diana Raab comes back to the Sentinel with a timely piece about National Book Lovers Day and reading and local bookstores. So go read you ignorant bastards! (Just kidding, Diana would never say anything like that. Seriously. And you’re clearly reading right now anyway, so that didn’t make any sense at all. Regardless, it’s great to have you back around, Diana, please keep them coming.)

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Valley Girl – Jana Mackin has a thing for terrific wine and Brazilian guitarist/composer Jon Stephen. No, not that kind of thing… she likes his music and they share a bit of history in the Big Easy. That’s all. Innocent. F ood File – This one is actually a bit contentious. EIC Matt Mazza really wanted to go the last KCHEN Project pop-up dinner but couldn’t, so Christina Enoch went instead and won’t stop telling Matt how much he missed. It’s getting really tense around here. Matt and Christina are fighting constantly about food and wine. And Christina is winning.

P.25

G irl About Town – Our beloved Julie Bifano hit Explore Ecology’s One Night Stand benefit recently and had a blast. (You’d know all about Explore Ecology and Art from Scrap and One Night Stand if you read EIC Matt’s related piece a few weeks back… it’s a Matt/Julie/One Night Stand Sentinel double team!)

P.27 P.28 P.29

Mad Science – Have you ever wondered, “Who in the hell is that guy?” We have. And this week, Rachelle Oldmixon explains why. (At least we think it’s Rachelle Oldmixon. Can’t be sure.) P lan B – Briana Westmacott’s kid is obsessed with Taylor Swift. Could be worse, right? (Fun piece, Briana, can you get tickets for the entire Sentinel staff next year?)

L OVEmikana – Lucky Penny is cranking out terrific pizzas and coffees and… smiles. Refill to You keeps you sitting at home on the couch thinking of creative ways to reduce your carbon footprint while refilling old shampoo and detergent bottles, thereby reducing your carbon footprint. (That’s a Green Scene double team!) The Weekend Guide has everything from Brazilian nationalism to shopping and music. Get some.

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P.30

Residential Real Estate – Michael Calcagno and Justin Kellenberger are back together again! They serve up an old school Sentinel real estate column this week, with properties and cost breakdowns and all the fixings. (Hey guys, remember when you used to actually do this every week?)

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MAZZA’S MISSIVE

SEPTEMBER 6 – 13 | 2013 |

The beautiful hills of Montecito are not a bad place for some meditation in a Vedanta Temple. I highly recommend it.

by Matt Mazza ...continued from COVER

I’m not sure if any of that makes any sense at all. Regardless, the point is that I came across a group of primarily three people (there are others but three stand out in the crowd for me) in the past month that, upon reflection, have not only affected me greatly, but appear to affect each other in a tremendously positive way too. Two of these people happen to be monastic Hindu nuns – modern day female Californian swamis – living at a Vedanta Temple in Montecito. The other is effectively a biomechanical flexibility and strength expert-cum-yogi from Boston. Let’s get spiritual.

Deviprana Is Kindness Incarnate

My first real interaction with the group came around a month ago up at the Vedanta Temple on Ladera Lane. I

hadn’t been there before but a friend who brings her kids for a Sunday school of sorts suggested I check it out and meet Deviprana, one of the monastic Hindu nuns living there. (Anecdotally, the Sunday school at the temple is terrific, teaching that all faiths have merit and ultimately hold the same basic truths about the ultimate object of religion and the world; my kids picked flowers and learned and generally loved it when we went a couple weeks back.) Deviprana is a kind person, one who makes you feel immediately at ease and calm when you chat with her. She is thoughtful and reflective, clearly, and has spent the past 37 years (or so) – ever since she was 23 – in the monastic life at the Vedanta Temple. She also has Multiple Sclerosis. MS is a terrible disease that affects the immune system and the central nervous system and consequently produces scar tissue in and around nerve endings. (I’m

no doctor but that is my understanding.) Disruption of nerve signals results in all sorts of symptoms, perhaps the most easily recognizable of which are problems with walking, balance, and coordination. “I only had one doubt,” Deviprana explained, “about living this life, here.” We were sitting in the comfortable living room in the convent in the foothills of Montecito. (The Vedanta Temple sits on a stunning 45-acre property that was donated by Spencer Kellogg to the Vedanta Society of Southern California in 1944.) “As I lay in bed that very first night, I couldn’t help but wonder whether I really wanted to do this for the rest of my life.” She answered that question, of course, and the rest, as they say, is history. A

happy history, in this case, as anyone can tell from a simple conversation with Deviprana. She began manifesting symptoms of MS (difficulty walking, numbness in hands) and was eventually diagnosed with the disease early in 2008. “I started taking a shot every week, then one every few days, then even more often,” she explained, patiently, with a gentle smile. “I tried anti-depressants and physical therapy and hyperbolic chambers and acupuncture and the Paleo Diet and yoga. I saw specialists in L.A.” Deiprana shook her head. “I tried everything.” “But nothing worked.” ...continued p.11

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It'sCrimetime...

...with the SBPD

A variety of crimes are committed every day in Santa Barbara; most of these crimes are petty but they do offer a window into if not the soul of the perpetrator, at least his or her thought process. Our following (and totally unsolicited) thoughts, observations, and comments are put forth for your consideration.

Black Tarry Substance Found Between Man’s Butt Cheeks During Routine Traffic Stop

43-year-old local man was stopped by SBPD for a minor traffic violation one afternoon last week. Rather than simply producing his license and registration like most normal people might do under such circumstances, he instead quickly admitted to possession of marijuana without a valid card. So he was arrested for (drum roll!) possession and transportation of marijuana. As part of the search incident to arrest, officers discovered lots of text messages about drug purchases and sales and thus became even more suspicious. During an ensuing strip search, a number of small bindles containing a black tarry substance – which was later determined to be heroin – were found between the man’s butt cheeks. (Is there a medical term for butt cheeks? We digress.) There are lots of jokes we could make about nervous motorists getting pulled over by aggressive and intimidating baton wielding uniformed officers resulting in black tarry substances between drivers’ buttocks. (Eureka! That’s the medical term for the cheeks, isn’t it?) But we won’t devolve to such juvenile, puerile, downright sophomoric bathroom humor. It’s below us. Waaaay below us. Let’s just say that this particular arrest gives us yet another reason to never, ever to do heroin. Transportation of the stuff alone is enough to make us vomit.

Drinking in the Labor Line Ain’t No Crime Two homeless men, one 21 and the other 26, were standing in the labor line trying to find some work last Friday afternoon. We imagine, given the current state of social, economic and political affairs, that the line wasn’t exactly moving very quickly. It was a hot day. And they were standing in the sun. Looking for work. On a Friday afternoon. So they decided to get something to drink. Something delightfully refreshing on a hot day. Something lots of people like to drink in the sun. (Most people that we know just do it in public on the beach instead of in a labor line. Again, though, we digress.)

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Columnists

Valley Girl • Jana Mackin | She Has Her Hands Full • Mara Peters Plan B • Briana Westmacott | The Dish • Wendy Jenson Journal Jim • James Buckley | Real Estate • Michael Calcagno Commercial Corner • Austin Herlihy | The Weekly Capitalist • Jeff Harding Man About Town • Mark Leisure | In The Garden • Randy Arnowitz The Beer Guy • Zach Rosen | The Mindful Word • Diana M. Raab Girl About Town • Julie Bifano | In The Zone • Jeremy Harbin Mad Science • Rachelle Oldmixon | Keepin’ It Reel • Jim Luksic Pump It • Jenny Schatzle | Faces Of Santa Barbara • Patricia Clarke

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Something lots of people drink on Fridays. Beer. The two homeless guys looking for work on a hot Friday afternoon in a slow moving labor line grabbed a couple beers to make the heat and the waiting and the boredom a little less. And they were both arrested after giving officers a hard time for handing them drinking-in-public citations. Both men were, perhaps understandably, frustrated. (Think of the circumstances.) One even went so far as to throw his backpack on the ground. The other refused to sit up from a prone position. The nerve. Hey officers, we get it and thus don’t often come out this way but maybe, just maybe, you could have let this one slide. On the other hand, maybe you couldn’t. Either way, we’d have likely done the same thing as the homeless guys did here. We mean, come on, nobody actually works in this town after lunch on Fridays anyway. Cut them some slack.

Fosters: It’s Australian for Poor Judgment A 52-year-old local homeless man tossed a large can of Fosters into some nearby bushes when he saw SBPD eyeballing him. Then he jumped up and squared off to fight officers as they approached. He was arrested for public intoxication. Sounds just like an Aussie. (Just kidding, we love all Aussies. They are some of our best friends and that was a silly thing to say. Toss us another shrimp on the barbie, mates, good on you. Etcetera.)

MALIBU FILM PRODUCER Not As Important As She Thinks She Is SBPD arrested a heavily intoxicated 42-year-old FILM PRODUCER from MALIBU one evening last week after she threw a pizza at her boyfriend. He reported to officers that she drank too much at a party (noooooo, really?) and physically and emotionally attacked him as he drove her away. (How LA is that?) They stopped for pizza to calm her down (we’re inferring that last part, it explains how she got the pizza to throw in the first place). When officers detained the woman for public drunkenness and disorderly conduct in front of the local pizza parlor (ah, classy), she refused to provide any information beyond that she is a FILM PRODUCER from MALIBU. (For example, when asked her specific employer, she responded, “Not going to tell you that, [expletive] you.” And when asked the daunting In Case of Emergency Notification question, she similarly refused, “Nope, God in Heaven.” These were close to Quotes of the Week but we wanted more space with this one.) Try as we might, we can really only think of two explanations for this woman’s conduct: (1) She really is a FILM PRODUCER from MALIBU and needed to be careful (if this is the case, then we apologize… and we have this script we’d like you to read) or (2) she is in the porn business (if this is the case, then we apologize… and we have this script we’d like you to read).

FUNK(Y) ZONE A 39-year-old local woman vomited all over her clothes and urinated in her pants after drinking just a liiiiittle too much last Saturday. She was arrested for public intoxication, of course, but none of that is particularly interesting. What is interesting? Well, our friend wasn’t arrested on State Street in front of one of the myriad party bars. She was arrested, friends, in our beloved Funk Zone. Come on y’all, be somewhat responsible. Let’s have fun done there, just like we do everywhere else in town, but let’s keep the Funk Zone cool for everybody. No vomiting and peeing all over yourself allowed. Period.

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Letters

Although you might not believe it, we actually want to hear from you. So if you have something you think we should know about or you see something we've said that you think is cretinous (or perspicacious, to be fair), then let us know. There's no limit on words or subject matter, so go ahead and let it rip to: Santa Barbara Sentinel, Letters to the Editor, 133 East De La Guerra Street, No. 182, Santa Barbara, California 93101. You can also leap into the 21st century and email us at letters@santabarbarasentinel.com.

Catfight!

att, I thought I’d write in response to the question asked a couple weeks back in Crime Time: “What do people call 60-year-old women in predominantly college bars?” The answer is simple. Sabertooths. Alexis Zahoudanis Santa Barbara (Editor’s Note: I, for one, am just thrilled we’re still discussing this intriguing intellectual issue. And I must say, after reflecting upon Rhonda’s response last week to the same question (A Cougar, A Bobcat and A Puma Walk Into A Bar…, Vol. 2, Issue 33), I did find it a bit peculiar that she jumped from the feline (Puma, Cougar and Jaguar for 30+, 40+ and 50+ predatory women, respectively) to the canine (Coyote for the 60+ set). It felt inconsistent, if nothing else, but I shrugged it off as just another thing I don’t understand about women (or cats, I suppose) of any age. But your response, Alexis, changed everything. Sabertooth is now the official Sentinel nomenclature for women over 60 who prey upon younger men for all sorts of fun things. We’re thrilled to have resolved this. What might thrill us even more, you ask? A no-holds barred oil match between a Sabertooth and a Cougar and a Bobcat and a Puma and a Jaguar and a Lioness and a Medusa and and and… and I volunteer Publisher Tim to be the Coyote for his recently and quite unceremoniously passed 32nd birthday. Happy birthday, man, it’s been a hell of year… now let’s hear that youthful, vigorous howl again, Timmy! – MSM)

A Cougar, A Bobcat, A Puma and… A Mountain Lion? Dear Matt, I initially restrained myself from writing in with a new name for women over 60 who prey on younger men in response to the questions posed in Truly Ancient Late Night Partier Tossed From Local Watering Hole (Crime Time, Vol. 2, Issue 32). But after reading Rhonda’s Letter to the Editor last week wherein she referred to them as “Coyotes,” well, I couldn’t help myself. Rhonda first nicely went through the various feline names: Puma in your 30s, Cougar in your 40s, Jaguar in your 50s. Great. Then she stated that “if you are still able to hunt in your 60s, you obtain the revered Coyote status.” That seemed to come out of left field, Rhonda! First, I’m still in your Jaguar category, and am therefore speaking up now rather than later. Haven’t you seen the attractive women and men in

their 60s these days? (Perhaps it’s due to HGH and Viagra or Testosterone supplements – or just hard work and healthy living. Regardless, 60 seems to be the new 40.) Coyotes sort of prance around in packs, are canines, scavenge from others’ kills… hmmm, maybe the 20-somethings would fit that bill. I figure they couldn’t care less about any of these labels we are musing about as when I was a 20-something I sure was not reading a weekly newspaper about our town. I was out on our town. I visited the Wildcat only once or twice in my twenties. (Hard to recall, I was busy hunting older prey. Crazy, I know.) In any event, I believe a better term for those “60-somethings” would be Mountain Lions: attractive, regal and solitary, yet somewhat agedlooking larger cats. They do not hunt in packs, are not scavengers (except those ones found in crime blotters who have a disease called alcoholism – though usually those cats don’t really want to go to the Wildcat; their prey is cheaper outside the liquor store). Seems more fitting. And here’s another thought: Perhaps we can be Leopards in our 70s as we start getting spots? Jaguar Anne Santa Barbara (Editor’s Note: I know, this is overboard. But we didn’t get Jaguar Anne’s letter until right before we went to print this week and I had to include it. Call me obsessive or compulsive (doesn’t matter, I’m both), I just couldn’t pass it up. In any event, I hadn’t seen Anne’s letter until after I responded to Alexis’s above, and so I was (1) struck to see a vaguely similar reaction to Rhonda’s Coyote terminology and (2) intrigued by the Mountain Lion proposal. For reasons I can’t seem to articulate, Sabertooth still works for me, and so we’re keeping it the official Sentinel title for the 60+ predatory crowd. But Leopard is a terrific addition, and I hereby deem it the official Sentinel title for those ...continued p.18

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SEPTEMBER 6 – 13 | 2013 |

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Southwest Shrimp Scampi is one of the specialty entrées; it’s sautéed shrimp with a green chili, garlic, white wine, lemon, tomatoes, cilantro and rice bacon tomato jam; $22.

by Wendy Jenson

A former magazine editor, Wendy worked at Harper’s Bazaar, Glamour, and Us Weekly in NYC, before moving west with Santa Barbara Magazine. Currently a public relations consultant, she relishes being out and about working on this column. Photos by Wendy Jenson

Southwest Hot Spot Southwest Chicken Enchilada is pulled chicken, sautéed onions, garlic and Southwest spices; lunch $14. Pulled meat, often pork, is slow cooked until it falls off the bone.

Anaheim Chili Brownie with Champagne sauce is served with cinnamon ice cream and salted caramels; $9.

hef Mark Miller (of Coyote Café, Santa Fe fame) put Southwest cuisine on the map in the ’80s. A favorite topic of foodies and the media elite at the time, Southwest (aka New Mexican) cuisine surged in popularity. Inspired, a then-young chef named Jim Gartman packed his knives and moved from Manhattan to Las Cruces, New Mexico to learn how to cook this fusion of Spanish, Native American and Mexican ingredients and techniques. Flash forward to Santa Barbara, 2013: Local restaurateur David Campos recruits an experienced Jim to open Verdé Southwest Cuisine on Lower State Street. If you’re someone who loves chilies, Verdé is the restaurant for you. It’s also Spanish for “green.” The Desert Tears appetizer is “for those who like it hot” with four fresh jalapeños blanched and stuffed, two with chorizo with blue cheese, two with chili seasoned shrimp and cheddar cheese; $11. Red Pork Pozole is “on the hot side;” $9. Do not confuse Southwest cuisine with Mexican. Southwest’s defining ingredient is green and red chilies grown only in Hatch, New Mexico. “Hatch chilies are like wine in that a certain grape thrives in certain soil and growing conditions,” says Verdé’s Dave Campos. “It’s not about being hot – though we can make it as hot as you want – it’s about the distinct flavors.” One pass through the menu reveals Executive Chef Jim’s love of chilies with Anaheim, serrano, poblano (dried, it’s called ancho), jalapeño and of course Hatch chilies all making appearances. “Many chefs chase the heat,” says Jim. “I want you to taste the flavor of the chili.” So packed with punch is Verde’s menu, chilies even feature in the desserts. Yes,

Caramelized Walnut and Pear salad is mixed greens tossed with goat cheese, pancetta and vinaigrette dressing topped with caramelized onions, pears and walnuts; lunch $11. Wherefore art thou, Romeo? Proposals have taken place at the three balcony tables. Chef Jim Gartman resembles actor Benicio Del Toro with a dash of Tommy Lee Jones. Jim’s mother was Native American (“full-blood Creek Indian”) and dad was Italian.

the desserts have kick. Try the Chipotle Chili Chocolate Truffle Torte, $9; Green Chili Cheesecake and Habanero Crème Brulee; both $8. Owner Dave likens the Sopapilla, $8, to New Orleans beignets. Verdé’s menu is unique, some dishes are a fusion of Southwest and Japanese. Sushi Nachos are served four ways, 1) tossed with chipotle sesame mojo; 2) poke style; 3) red chili coated and seared rare, topped with avocado and wasabi aioli; or 4) with sweet chili lime glaze; $15. Green Chile Cheese Wontons and Southwest Chicken Egg Rolls are $8 and $9. A Southwest Enchilada is flat rather than rolled. “The reason being,” as Dave explains, “it’s often served with a fried egg on top.” Enchiladas are served with cilantro rice and beans and a choice of mild or hot, red or green chili sauce. Trained in French technique, Jim’s sauces always start with a wine reduction. With the fine exception of McConnell’s

Ice Cream, everything is made on the premises right down to the potato chips. The Diablo Burger is topped with grilled onion, red and yellow bell pepper, pepper jack cheese, and tomato/tequila sauce; $12. Described as “a touch spicy,” Tortilla Soup is pulled chicken with black beans, corn, roasted red peppers and Hatch green chili in chicken broth topped with tortilla strips and Oaxaca cheese; $7. Beef Short Ribs are slowly braised in a rich chili broth then topped with chocolate sauce; $26. For the health conscious and gluten avoiders, butter lettuce and blanched green cabbage leaves can be substituted for flour tortillas in the tacos and burritos. Tofu Enchiladas are marinated tofu with zucchini, carrots, yellow squash, asparagus, tomatoes and red and yellow bell peppers with your choice of sauce; $15. The upstairs dining room can be reserved for events of up to 50 guests; and the room has audio/visual capabilities. The upstairs is filled with laughter every Friday (9pm) and Saturday (7:30pm & 10pm) when Comedy Hideaway brings

in “headline comedians from HBO, NBC and Comedy Central.” For tickets and information, visit sbcomedy.com; general admission $12. Select items (which are often changed) are half price during Happy Hour, which is actually four hours from 3pm to 7pm Tuesdays thru Sundays. Built in the 1920s, the building itself is beautiful. The Old World stucco walls were occupied in the 1950s and ’60s by Frank’s Rice Bowl, a Chinese restaurant with a notoriously surly host. Local craftsman Raul Flores forged the fine ironwork in evidence today. The hot seats are upstairs on the balcony overlooking State Street in the entertainment zone. “Many a proposal has happened here,” says Dave. Verdé is located at 532 State Street between Cota and Haley. Santa Barbara City Parking Lot 11 is directly behind the restaurant at 523 Anacapa Street. Open Tuesday, Wednesday and Sunday from 11am till 9pm, and Thursday, Friday and Saturday from 11am till 11pm; verdesb. com; 805-897-0033. Like waitstaff, I eagerly await tips. If you have any restaurant information, please contact me at wendy@ santabarbarasentinel.com.

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SEPTEMBER 6 – 13 | 2013 |

by Zach Rosen

One Year of Beer at Eureka! Pearl Street Blues Burger with sweet potato fries pairs up perfectly with that Flying Dog Gonzo Imperial Porter. (I’m sensing naptime after consuming this.)

he Santa Barbara beer scene is changing. After eight years of studying beer culture in the area, I’m certain of it. Santa Barbara has seen more action in its beer community during the past year than all previous years combined. While the shift has been a collective effort of all the brewers and beer-centric bars in the area (and, of course, the interest of Santa Barbara’s beer drinkers), it is hard to deny that Eureka! Burger in Paseo Nuevo has been a critical term in the equation. And Eureka! will be celebrating its one year anniversary this upcoming weekend. With nine current locations and several more opening very soon, the highly successful chain of restaurants started in San Luis Obispo and has since been introducing the West Coast to American craft beer, bourbons and food. Each location manages its own beer selection; in Santa Barbara, the beer list is carefully curated by Sarah Huska, one of the three Certified Cicerones® (beer sommeliers) in town. Most of Eureka!’s beers focus on West Coast-style hoppy ales with the occasional Belgian-style craft brew slipping its way onto the tap list. And the $3 Handle (usually Figueroa Mountain Hoppy Poppy) is hard to beat when swinging in for a quick round. In short, Sarah’s done a great job with Eureka!’s brews. And she’s kicked it up a notch for the impending anniversary celebration (September 13 – 15), which will include three basic staples of life: Beer! Food! and Entertainment!

Beer! Sarah has some special treats planned for thirsty patrons at Eureka!’s one year anniversary event. Ballast Point Brewing Co. Sculpin is one of the best year-round IPAs available in the area and Eureka!

will be serving a habaneroaged version of this apricotmango themed IPA for the event. Another specialty will be the Green Flash Brewing Co. Silva Stout. Named after their brewmaster Chuck Silva, this special edition of Green Flash Double Stout has been aged in bourbon barrels for 17 months. I’m salivating. Local breweries will also be bringing special brews to the event. Firestone Walker will have a cask of their Pale 31, and Figueroa Mountain and Surf Brewery will be there as well. In addition, Telegraph Brewing will be presenting an experimental blended beer that will be a concoction of their barrel-aged and sour-mash beers; both of which have been aged on a variety of berries! The beer is so new that it has yet to be named but if it is as good as their other sour/wild beers (and it will be) this is one brew that you do not want to miss.

Zach Rosen is a Certified Cicerone® and beer educator living in Santa Barbara. He uses his background in chemical engineering and the arts to seek out abstract expressions of beer and discover how beer pairs with life.

their Jalapeno Egg Burger and Catalina Bison Burger (topped with a housemade bacon-infused jalapeno jam… oh my). If you get hungry at the festivities then I suggest trying a Pearl Street Blues Burger with Flying Dog Gonzo, an Imperial Porter. The roasted malt character is strong enough to support the hearty beef patty, with the beer’s chocolate mousse flavors complementing the burger’s ensemble of sharp blue cheese, savory mushrooms and gentle bite of onion. Chipotle ketchup provides a tangy taste that heightens the other flavors. Eureka!’s sweet potato fries spiced with honey, cinnamon and ginger provide a soft mouthfeel that ...continued p.19

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W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

8•Days• a•Week We Ain’t Got Nothin’ But Love, Babe…

by Jeremy Harbin

Want to be a part of Eight Days A Week?

Space is limited, but if you have an event, exhibit, performance, book signing, sale, opening, trunk show, or anything else interesting or creative that readers can attend, let us know at 805-845-1673 or email us at tim@santabarbarasentinel.com. We’ll consider all suggestions, but we will give extra consideration to unusual events and/or items, especially those accompanied by a good visual, particularly one that has yet to be published.

Friday

Monday

Shop Spree You & Me

Playhouse Auditions

September 6

If you like to shop downtown, this is a good weekend to do it. Shop Spree SB starts today and goes through tomorrow. All sorts of local establishments will be offering discounts, and some – like Oliver & Espig (1108 State Street), Samy’s Camera (624 Chapala Street) or Ayers Automotive Repair (1301 Chapala Street) – are even donating partial proceeds to the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer, which also happens this weekend. Other highlights include live music outside of Marshalls (900 State Street) all afternoon today and free samplings over at Isabella Gourmet Foods (5 East Figueroa). For a full list of participants, deals and events, check out www.santabarbaradowntown. com.

Saturday September 7

September 9

Today from 6:30 to 9:30pm is your last chance to audition for the Plaza Playhouse Theater’s (4916 Carpinteria Avenue, Carpinteria) presentation of Pvt. Wars, a play written by James McClure and directed by Bill Egan. The work shows the interactions between three wounded soldiers in an army hospital who are about to reenter civilian life. Interested actors should call 805.453.2699 or email hannemuses@gmail.com to reserve an audition time and get all the details they’ll need to know. Callbacks are this Wednesday, September 11; rehearsals begin September 16 and the show goes on November 8 through 17.

Tuesday September 10

Take a Walk with Chuck

Art and Jewelry

The Spending Group’s Gallery Space (740 State Street, Suite 300B) has something for everyone at tonight’s reception: art, jewelry and food. The art is by Ben Kendall, who will display his pen and ink sketches, oil paintings and digital works. The jewelry comes care of Stowellen Jewelry, which will show off its new metal collection. The food will be, well, available and complimentary, so what else do we need to know? It all starts at 5pm and will go until 8.

Brazilian Day

Sometimes we take our town for granted. (Ever find yourself wondering when was the last time you went to the beach?) We’ve got a lot here that tourists envy; one of those things is the harbor. If it’s been too long since your last visit, head down for a walk along the water or down Stearns Wharf. And if you find yourself getting hungry while you’re down there, you can’t go wrong with Chuck’s Waterfront Grill at 113 Harbor Way, Suite 180. You might start off with the dungeness crab app, move onto the lobster bisque and finish up with that “Chuck’s Style” halibut: that’s the 8 Days special (although if you try to order it by that name you might have to do some explaining). Chuck’s is open for dinner at 5pm every night. Their equally delicious sister restaurant Endless Summer opens at 11:30am.

Wednesday

To celebrate Brazil’s Independence Day, Brasil Arts Café (1230 State Street) is offering a day of free fun starting at 12:15pm with the Brazil vs. Australia match that will screen. After, enjoy classes on Brazilian food, pandeiro (Brazilian hand drum), capoeira (Brazilian martial art-dance hybrid) and samba. Stick around for live music, dancing and more. Search “Brazilian Day Santa Barbara” on Facebook for a complete listing of events. An after party at SOhO Restaurant and Music Club (1221 State Street) starts at 10pm.

September 11

September 8

Thursday

Sunday Afternoon Opera

For those enthusiasts who like their opera early and on video, today’s encore screening of Bizet’s Carmen marks day two of the Music Academy of the West’s “Best of the Met in Hahn Hall.” The other simulcasts – Verdi’s Il Trovatore (September 7th) and Puccni’s Turandot (September 9th) – round out the three-day event. Each presentation begins at 2pm and costs $15, but three-day passes are available for $39. Find Hahn Hall on the Music Academy campus at 1070 Fairway Road.

Mason Meets SOhO

Jack Johnson’s pal Mason Jennings stops by Santa Barbara tonight to play the SOhO Restaurant and Music Club (1221 State Street). Mr. Jennings is a folk-rock singer-songwriter who has enjoyed a 15-plus year career releasing records and hitting the road. His last release was called Minnesota and found the troubadour dealing with the issues that come along with growing up. He is currently prepping a new album. Tonight’s show starts at 8pm; doors are at 7pm. Tickets are $25 at www. sohosb.com.

September 12

Scream for this Ice Cream

It’s a perfect night to take a stroll down State, isn’t it? Maybe you spotted a few places you wanted to check out during Shop Spree SB, but just didn’t have time. Maybe you just want to get out into the cool evening air after an overly warm day. Whatever your excuse, we all know you really just want some McConnell’s Fine Ice Creams. Its new downtown location at 728 State Street has been open for a week now, which is a good thing, because it was getting harder and harder to come up with non-yogurt-related reasons to go down to the corner of De La Vina and Mission.

Friday September 13

Going to Dean Chapel

T h e G r av e ya r d S h i f T BoHenry’s · 1431 San Andres Street

Some familiar names will have works performed this evening in the Dean Chapel of Westmont College (955 La Paz Road) by faculty members. This Fall Faculty Recital will feature Han Soo Kim on violin, Steve Hodson on piano, Paul Mori on bassoon and others performing selections from Beethoven, Brahms and Schubert beginning at 8pm. Headliner (if faculty recitals can have headliners) Han Soo Kim has a master’s from Juilliard and a doctorate from Stony Brook. He’s played esteemed halls across the world and has played with Yo-Yo Ma. Call 805.565.6040 if you’d like more information.

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...continued from p.5

Sweet Serendipity Then, in early 2012, something changed. Sitaprana – a younger Hindu monastic who attended UCSB around the same time I did – was attending a lecture at Yoga Soup. (Sitaprana is another female swami up at the Temple, and is hugely knowledgeable about and dedicated to her faith. She’s philosophical and smart and strong and caring.) The lecturer was a guy named Bob Cooley, and he was talking about biomechanical flexibility and strength, something he is widely known for due not only to his accomplishments in the field but to his book, The Genius of Flexibility. Bob got to the end of his talk and Sitaprana raised her hand, hoping to learn something about Deviprana’s condition. “I asked him if he’d ever worked with any MS patients,” Sitaprana was sitting next to me on the couch in the convent living room, opposite Deviprana. “And he said, ‘I can cure that. Get her to me.’” That’s a wildly grandiose claim when one considers that conventional medicine considers the disease incurable. But Deviprana’s health was declining (she required a wheelchair at the time) and nothing conventional was working. And although getting her to Bob in Boston wasn’t as easy as it sounded, it turned out that Sitaprana didn’t have to. Bob was coming to Santa Barbara to meet and work with Eddie Ellner at Yoga Soup. “So we went to Eddie’s house on the Mesa,” Sitaprana laughed. “And we didn’t really understand how Eddie’s house works. Deviprana and I knocked on the door and waited outside for like an hour before someone came out and asked us what we were doing. We were supposed to just walk on in. It’s a pretty open place, Eddie’s house.” “Once we got inside, found Bob, and explained why we were there, he didn’t hesitate. He went right to work on Deviprana, stretching her, talking with her. It was very physical, very psychological. And it went on for two full hours.” I looked over to Deviprana, who had been sitting patiently, listening to Sitaprana speak. “So, Deviprana, how did you feel?” I had to ask it. “I could breathe better, it’s hard to describe. I just felt so much better after that first session with Bob.” She paused, then smiled. “I felt hopeful.”

Deviprana (right) with Sitaprana just after we finished up at the convent. Thanks for having me!

in biomechanical flexibility and strength, though my distinct feeling is that Bob knows a lot about a lot more than that. (Chinese medicine and philosophy come immediately to mind. So does yoga. He’s also highly educated, having taught Math at the University of Massachusetts

SEPTEMBER 6 – 13 | 2013 |

Amherst.) He admits that his expertise was developed out of self-interest, only after he was struck by a vehicle traveling 70 miles per hour in 1978. The consequence of that horrifying event – which killed Bob’s friend – was that Bob wasn’t able to walk or live the life that he had previously. “So I went to every respected doctor I could find,” Bob explained, “and they all told me the same things. The same things that hadn’t worked before. Then I’d ask them, ‘Tell me who to see next.’ They would, and I would go, and nothing would come of it other than another referral.” Over the course of 12 years, Bob was eventually able to walk again, and he devoted his time to improving his own quality of life. “I had no intent of helping anybody else,” he explained, unapologetically and with a smile, “I was ...continued p.15

Bob Cooley, spiritual master-cum-biomechanical expert, assisting Deviprana at the temple.

The Genius of Flexibility Bob Cooley is an interesting guy, to say the least. He’s engaging, for sure, and he seems hugely knowledgeable about a wide variety of medical, quasimedical, emotional, mental, physical and spiritual topics. (I do not mean “seems” in the foregoing sentence to convey any disrespect at all, it’s just that Bob’s field of knowledge is vast and it is difficult sometimes to keep up. I think that’s a fair thing to say.) By all accounts, he has trained everyone from professional athletes and Olympians to non-athletes and even MS patients. His expertise, as mentioned above, is Reserve Corks n’ Crowns now for your private party, corporate gathering, and holiday events, featuring a ﬁreplace and wraparound patio! Start stocking up on holiday gifts with award-winning, highly-rated wines!

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W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

In the Garden with

Mr. Greenjeans

by Randy Arnowitz “Mr. Greenjeans,” as he is known around Santa

Barbara, is a gardener, horticulturist and writer. He particularly enjoys working with roses, orchids and sharing the day with his golden retriever Peaches, who faithfully accompanies him in the field. Contact him at greenjeansmr@gmail.com

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Tomato Of Color

ome months ago, at the beginning of the warm planting season, I went tomato plant shopping at the Farmers’ Market. In addition to my favorite orange cherry, Sungold, I bought what was billed as a “black tomato” from Oscar Carmona who sells veggie starts through Healing Grounds Nursery at the market. It was a plant I wanted to try after seeing it growing in a pot at a friend’s house last year. I remembered the name Indigo Rose and how I marveled at the wild-looking foliage, but especially at the incredibly glassy, marble-like, dark indigo (hence the name), nearly black fruit. I popped a tiny 4” start into a 15-gallon sized, faux terra cotta plastic pot with a tall stake and set it next to my back door in very full sun. It grew slowly and spindly at first but as the summer progressed, the thing flushed out and picked up speed. It fruited early and eventually reached a height of about 8 feet with numerous clusters of glossy fruit from the bottom of the plant to the

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You could be picking sweet peas (in the background) by Christmas if you sow seeds now. Be sure to choose “early flowering” or “neutral day length” varieties.

top. While my Sungold’s foliage began to yellow and show symptoms of too many mid-summer foggy, almost drippy days, my shining star Indigo Rose sported near perfect foliage and an abundance of ripening fruit. Initially bred at Oregon State University, Indigo Rose is the first high-anthocyanin tomato available. Anthocyanin is a naturally occurring pigment that acts as a powerful antioxidant and accounts for the vibrant, dark purple skin on the 2 inch, perfectly round fruit. The purple color occurs on the part of the fruit that is exposed to light, while the shaded portions start out green, then turn dark red as the plant matures. Next year I will grow her again, but will plant directly into the garden soil instead of in a pot because like other thirsty and vigorous plants, she now requires daily watering and isn’t very forgiving if I forget to give her a drink at the end of these long, hot days.

It Don’t Grow On Trees

As we all know, water is expensive here in Santa Barbara. If you’ve been trying to save money and water this summer,

The dark purple fruits of my Indigo Rose tomato contain anthocyanin, which is a pigment that may act as an anti-oxidant.

you might want to splurge a little bit now and give your established shrubs, trees (including citrus) and vines a good, deep soak. September weather is still in summer mode and if you’ve been thrifty, your plants may be starting to show signs of stress. A good soak now will carry them over until we (hopefully) get some rain. Either set your irrigation timer to a longer time duration for the zones that include your established plants or put out soaker hoses or slow running sprinklers under them. Best to give them a slow, thorough drink to avoid runoff and to ensure that the water gets down there where the roots are.

Call Me Crazy (Again) Ok, even if you don’t believe me, you should try this anyway. If you want to have lots of sweet pea flowers – yes, the flowers, not just a bunch of green, lush vines – by Christmas, plant the seeds now! But here’s the catch. You have to plant them right now AND you have to buy the seeds that say “early flowering” on the seed pack. Day-length neutral varieties will bloom even sooner than Christmas and you have until midmonth to get them planted.

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Both types will benefit from planting in a trench that is well amended with compost, manure and a fertilizer that is low in nitrogen and high in phosphorus and potassium. Make sure to supply some sort of support or trellis constructed from either stakes and baling wire, or stakes and chicken wire. Be creative and use strong branches instead of stakes that are securely driven into the ground. Growing them on an ugly chain link fence works great, too, and is a good way to cover up an ugly chain link fence.

Randy’s Quick Pick

My “black tomato plant” quickly filled this large container but required daily watering due to our recent above average hot days.

on’t know what’s buggin’ you? Want to find out? The University of California Cooperative Extension (UCCE) Master Gardeners of Santa Barbara County announced that the organization, in cooperation with Rincon-Vitova Insectaries of Ventura will present a free one-hour public workshop, “Good Bug/Bad Bug – Who’s in YOUR Garden?” on Saturday, September 21 at 10am. The workshop, to be held at Santa Barbara City College, 721 Cliff Drive, Room EBS #102, will be presented by Master Gardener Bob Lloyd and Kyra L. Rude of Rincon-Vitova Insectaries.

SEPTEMBER 6 – 13 | 2013 |

college life:

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W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

Opinion, stories, events, and people that shape Santa Barbara

sbview.com

Milpas on the Move by Sharon Byrne

30-Year-Old White Male Tagger Accosted By Neighbors

o this is not a spoof, a la Onion. Friday night around 8pm, I was packing up the car to go up to the Sierras for Labor Day. We were shoving in the sleeping bags when I see this guy take a magic marker to the Edison box across the street. That box is yucky road furniture that we’ve tried to make less yucky. Neighbors planted lavender next to it, to soften the hard urbanscape. Vandals constantly strike it. Edison paints over what we can’t remove with graffiti cleaner. I am sure it serves some vital function related to charging my electronics, but it’s a constant eyesore. I yelled at our vandal, “HEY! CUT THAT OUT!” He keeps right at it. I stomped across the street, boyfriend tailing, “HEY! Stop vandalizing our neighborhood! We have to clean that off!” He looks up – deer-in-the-headlights stunned gaze. I guess he thought we’d just love his “work.” Like we love bar district patrons peeing on our neighborhood as they stumble back to their cars. He’s 30, short dark hair, beard and mustache. White. Black t-shirt and camo cargo pants. He’s holding the marker in mid-air like an idiot. He mumbles, “Oh, hey, um, sorry,” and starts backing away. I wanted to call the police, but had left my phone in the house. Who knew I’d need it for loading sleeping bags? My boyfriend asks him where he lives, and attempts to corral him. I run into my house, grab the phone, dial 911 and a car alarm goes off. Not mine. Run back down to the street and an SUV is peeling down Cottage Grove with my boyfriend running after it. “Got his license plate!” he yells, trotting back. I am giving all this to SBPD. “Wait… he was in an SUV?” Yeah. I guess this is his first encounter with angry

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Sharon Byrne

Someone came out of mom’s basement to show Santa Barbara what’s what.

neighbors. He set off his auto’s panic alarm. Mental note to self: Hey, where are the homeys? They let a 30-something white guy tag their street? Seriously? Jeez. What’s this town coming to when you can’t rely on gangsters to defend their turf? Two cops turn up. We relay the info to them. They have the same reaction we did: Wait, he was a 30-year-old white guy? In an SUV? Yep. They look around, gaze at the huge graffiti mural we put up to stop gang scrawls. They shrug, and call the plate in. Then they ask me if I have ID. I start to realize that when out on my street for any reason, I clearly need a) my mobile phone b) my id and c) a camera. Even when I get the mail, I’ll look like a tourist. Great! The cops photograph the tag with their graffiti camera. If they catch him, they can fine him for any and all matching tags in their database. Oxnard recently fined a prolific vandal the impressive sum of $300,000. That’s a lot of community service hours of graffiti removal. I’d prefer embarrassingly pink jumpsuits, a la Mary Kay, for the exercise. Now that would be a deterrent. The cops’ theory is that he’s part of a tagging crew, as this tag has been showing up a lot lately around town. Tagging crews consist of mostly white male adults, probably living in mom’s basement. They drive around, stop on streets, whip out their markers and scrawl, and then speed off. Not surprisingly for this demographic, they don’t plan well, so when caught by people like me, they tend to panic and flee. Taking all this into account, my translation of his scrawl: “Thirty-year old loser whose worldly ambitions amount to pretending I am as cool as Banksy, though in reality, I’m just indulging my inner juvenile delinquent...” I hope they slap him with an enormous fine, and he rolls on his tagging crew buddies, likely living out similarly productive lives in parental basements. Perhaps youth advocates will push for prevention programs to provide positive alternatives for 30-year-old white males who clearly face a dearth of activities to keep them occupied. Or maybe we can

Sharon Byrne is executive director for the Milpas Community Association, and currently serves on the Advisory Boards for the Salvation Army Hospitality House and Santa Barbara County Alcohol and Drug Problems.

sbview.com designate a special wall, just for them, so they can work out their frustration at the meaninglessness of post-modern existence. Perhaps they can scrawl some Baudrillard quotes on simulacra: how sports jerseys and perfume ads now provide all the meaning left in the universe. Meanwhile, I’m going to see about drafting the homeys for the neighborhood watch.

Equal Opportunity Depression by Loretta Redd

linicians of the mental health persuasion agree that depression occurs when we sense we have no control over our lives or destinies. So when it comes to politics, I’d say we are suffering from equal opportunity disappointment and depression, regardless of party. Without our permission, and without any appreciable benefit to our well-being, both Houses of Congress and the President seem poised to shout to the country, “Hold hands everyone!” as we jump off the fiscal cliff again. Our electeds rail against “wasteful spending” while authorizing new tax havens for corporate donors. They make us crazy with their paradoxical grip on guns while getting all peacenik about answering a scumbag’s use of sarin gas. They puff up about the “protection of life” while choking off funding for Affordable Healthcare Act or basic food stamps. Helplessness. Disconnect. Depression. Nothing seems to change. Maybe it’s time to give the girls a shot at running the show. But wait... aren’t women ruled by their hormones, prone to emotional instability, and fraught with frailties ascribed since the origins of modern psychiatry? Yes, depression has been viewed largely as a female response, suggesting the inability to handle the stressors of life. According to a recent article in the Journal of the American Medical Association – Psychiatry by UCLA psychiatrist Andrew Leuchter, MD, women are 70% more likely to have major depression, even though men are four times more likely to commit suicide.

Loretta Redd’s diverse background includes being a psychologist, business owner, non-profit director, Air Force officer, writer, speaker, and executive coach. Loretta has served on several Santa Barbara city committees and has been a candidate for public office.

Loretta Redd

sbview.com

But that’s about to change. Dr. Leuchter and researchers from the University of Michigan and Vanderbilt report, “When it comes to depression in men... we have had our blinders on. We have not been taking into account a range of symptoms that may be gender-specific.” Using a sample group of almost 6,000 adults, they found that by using a “gender inclusive depression scale” which listed symptoms more likely to be found in males, like anger attacks, irritability, hyperactivity and substance abuse, the statistical differences between men and women with depression actually disappeared. With 82 percent men in Congress, 80 percent in the Senate and a male President, I’m hopeful we’ll put some of the already over-prescribed antidepressants like Prozac, Zoloft, Paxil, Effexor, Lexapro, Pristiq and Celexa directily into the District of Columbia water supply, so that the “fathers” of our democracy might actually get something positive done on our behalf. According to the 2011 National Center for Health Statistics, 1 in 10 people were on some form of antidepressant, and that was before we “balanced the scale” of gender bias. Forget the purple pills guys, this revolutionary new definition could take our country to a new level of “performance enhancement.” Who knew that our civic paralysis, evidenced by the histrionics of guys like Ted Cruz, the weeping of John Boehner or the dittering-dottering of Harry Reid, might all be resolved with a few Big Pharma prescription samples? “Everything we think we know about depression is a reflection of how we defined it to begin with,” Dr. Leuchter is quoted. Who knew our brothers in Congress and global positions of power were suffering in silence for all these years? With the gap between men’s and women’s depression levels now being so narrow that “it could be a statistical fluke,” I might suggest that in addition to changing the gender balance on Capitol Hill, we “take our blinders off” and adopt a new rating scale for effectiveness in Washington, D.C. Not rushing into war would be a good start. So would not jumping off the fiscal cliff, voting against the already passed Healthcare bill for the thirty-first time rather than trying to fix it, or any of the other of the “suicidal” behaviors that pass for legislation in Washington, DC these days. Time for my meds.

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...continued from p.11 dead and I needed to come back to life.” Eventually, Bob determined that the best course was to teach himself how to heal rather than continue seeking conventional medical advice. And Bob believed, given all of his academic and personal studies and experiences with doctors and physical therapists (and others), that flexibility was the key. “So I sat down on my apartment floor and told myself that I wasn’t leaving until I figured out how to stretch and heal.” That he did. Bob has since shared his insights on resistance flexibility with others; in fact, some of his biggest insights, ironically, ultimately came from working with others. “Although I tried to keep them away at first, I learned from the people who came to see me; they would articulate what I was doing from a biomechanical perspective and I developed a deeper understanding of not only how the body works but how flexibility plays into that, heals, and ultimately raises functionality to a higher level.” That wisdom is precisely what he’s sharing with Deviprana.

Stretching and Pulling Here’s the thing. I’m a skeptical guy, by my nature. I can’t help it. (What can I say? I’m a litigation attorney.) So…stretching? Come on.

But Bob’s expertise is more than just toe-touching. It is an all-encompassing biomechanical experience. “One of the most basic things I learned,” Bob continued, “is that contracting the muscle while stretching it will really lengthen and strengthen it. Here, let me show you.” He did. That’s right, Bob stretched me up at the Vedanta Temple. Talk about a quasireligious experience. He and his team – this is a group effort – had me all twisted up and fighting against them and pulling and pushing and sweating and groaning. (I won’t pretend to understand or be able to convey all of what Bob says and does; even if I did fully comprehend his program, it would undoubtedly take volumes rather than a few hundred words to adequately explain. If you’re interested, check out his website, read one of his books and/or give him a call. He’s a terrific guy.) It’s an event, stretching with Bob, one that left me wildly invigorated and questioning my skepticism. But the fact is that none of that really matters. Ever since Deviprana started working with Bob and his trainers her health has improved. That’s right, it’s working. Quite well, in fact. ...continued p.26

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SEPTEMBER 6 – 13 | 2013 |

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www.presidiosports.com Presidio Sports is a provider of local sports news and information for the Santa Barbara community. Founded in 2008, the small team at Presidio has covered hundreds of local sporting events and published thousands of articles connected to Santa Barbara’s athletic community. Please visit their website for more local sports news and information.

NCAA College Cup Returning to Santa Barbara? by John Dvorak

A runner climbs Gibraltar Road with the Santa Barbara harbor already far below during the Pier to Peak Half Marathon.

Thousands came to Santa Barbara in 2010 to see Akron, North Carolina and Louisville compete for a National Championship in Harder Stadium. UCSB hopes to host the event again as soon as 2014.

he event that brought Santa Barbara the moniker “Soccer Heaven” looks like it could be returning for more. UCSB has submitted its official bid to the NCAA to host the College Cup again as soon as 2014. Athletic Director Mark Massari said the university would also – if unsuccessful for ’14 – seek to host the event in either 2015 or 2017, and 2016 for the women. “The NCAA hasn’t figured out if they want to go somewhere permanently or rotate, so we’re trying to be in a West Coast rotation,” Massari said. UCSB, which hosted the College Cup in 2010, will learn of the decision on 2014 as soon as November. “We’re excited about the possibility that we could have it here again,” said men’s soccer head coach Tim Vom Steeg, who led the Gauchos to a national championship in 2006. In 2010, the NCAA Tournament’s Final Four brought Akron, North Carolina, Louisville and Michigan to Santa Barbara. “I wish we were in it that year, I’m sorry that we got knocked out in the third round. But at the end of the day, there were two Southern schools and two Midwestern schools and ten thousand people showed up on a gorgeous December day,” Massari recalled. “Our reputation nationally about what we did in 2010 is well known.” UCSB’s men’s soccer team has led the nation in home attendance for six-straight years and holds the NCAA attendance record for an on-campus match. But that turnout in 2010 showed the NCAA that Santa Barbara could draw soccer fans even

without a West Coast school involved. Despite the positive track record established in 2010, Massari and Vom Steeg both noted that it isn’t a lock that the College Cup will return. There are now more soccer-only venues in major markets that may be more attractive logistically and it remains to be seen whether the NCAA will choose a permanent location like baseball has in Omaha for the College World Series. The university was turned down twice before landing the event the first time around and now there is more competition than ever. “MLS cities that have built brand new stadiums are looking for events like this,” Vom Steeg acknowledged. This year’s College Cup will be held at PPL Park in Philadelphia, home to the MLS’ Philadelphia Union. Vom Steeg credited the local soccer community for embracing the sport and his program in a way that isn’t duplicated in major markets. “What made our experience a very successful one is that it was on campus, and we have a large fanbase that I think appreciates college soccer.” In order to win the 2010 bid, Harder Stadium received roughly $2,000,000 in upgrades to ready itself. This time around, Massari said the NCAA has asked for upgraded locker rooms and a separate grass practice facility in addition to some minor work on the 17,000-seat stadium and playing surface. In 2010, the Final Four teams were shuttled to Westmont College in Montecito to practice. “The biggest piece of the puzzle is a

grass practice facility,” Vom Steeg said. And while the locker room improvements are already in the works, some of the other improvements will have to wait until year’s end. The Gauchos are just starting their season. Even though it was created as a slick marketing term for the 2010 College Cup, the slogan “Soccer Heaven” has seemed to stick. “I would be surprised if it didn’t come back to us at some point,” Vom Steeg said.

Local Sports Briefs McCarty, Blackwell Rise to the Top of Pier to Peak Van McCarty and Martha Blackwell bested the field in Sunday’s grueling Pier to Peak Half-Marathon, a race that adds 4,000 feet of elevation gain to the 13.1mile race distance. McCarty’s winning time was 1 hour, 39 minutes and 53 seconds. Blackwell, in 11th, led four women that placed in the top 23 overall. Blackwell won the women’s race in 1:58.47. Two hundred and seventy-seven completed the race. Second-place finisher Elliot Krigel and third-place finisher Michael Desmond improved from their results the year before. Krigel was sixth and Desmond fifth last year. The race’s course fits its name perfectly, starting at Stearns Wharf and making its way past the mission on up to Gibraltar Road, ending at Gibraltar Peak. The first four miles involve a gradual climb from the oceanfront through Santa Barbara streets and the foothills. Once the racers reach Gibraltar Road, it’s an on-again, off-again steep climb all the way to Camino Cielo Road. The final mile straddles the mountaintop towards the finish line. It was a hot day in Santa Barbara with temperatures topping 90 degrees. But the race got started at 6:30am and two thirds of the runners were finished by 9:30am.

PIER TO PEAK TOP 20 1. Van McCarty, 43 (San Luis Obispo) 1:39:53 2. Elliot Krigel, 25 (Santa Barbara) 1:47:29 3. Michael Desmond, 45 (Santa Barbara) 1:48:38 4. Jared Wong, 21 (Moraga) 1:50:17 5. Miguel Zepeda, 24 (Goleta) 1:52:02 6. David Walker, 27 (Santa Barbara) 1:52:43 7. Gene Deering, 31(Santa Barbara) 1:55:29 8. Kristian Howell, 33 (Santa Barbara) 1:55:55 9. Jonathon Milne, 29 (Tranmere, England) 1:56:01 10. James Pearce, 36 (La Jolla) 1:58:33 11. M artha Blackwell, 38 (Santa Barbara) 1:58:47 12. James Ballantine, 49 (Santa Barbara) 1:59:56 13. Cuyler Gabriel, 16 (Santa Barbara) 1:59:57 14. Maxime Plasmanne, 33 (Lasne, Belgium) 2:00:35 15. Bryce Wendel, 36 (Santa Barbara) 2:01:34 16. Scott Holland, 27 (Santa Barbara) 2:02:05 17. Stacey Bailey, 37F (Santa Barbara) 2:02:27 18. Daniel Cortina, 31 (Santa Barbara) 2:03:25 19. Angela Damour, 34F (Santa Barbara) 2:04:31 20. Victor Centina, 45 (Carpinteria) 2:04:42

UCSB’s Boyoko Named Big West Player of the Week Senior attacker Goffin Boyoko has been named the Big West Offensive Player of the Week for the week ending Sep. 1, it was announced by the conference today. Boyoko came roaring out of the gates in UCSB’s first two games of the season, helping the Gauchos collect wins at Northwestern and IllinoisChicago. He scored three goals over the weekend, including both game winners, eclipsing his entire 2012 goal total in the process. In Friday’s season opener, the France native scored the first tally of the new campaign by heading in a free kick in the 15th minute. Just 12 minutes later, Boyoko finished a nice pass from Achille Campion by shooting between the

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Northwestern keeper’s legs to put the Gauchos up by two in what turned out to be a 3-1 win. In Sunday’s matinee against UIC, Boyoko got airborne again to finish an Armand Bagramyan cross, the only goal in a 1-0 Gauchos win. For the week, Boyoko tallied three of UCSB’s four goals and five of the team’s 13 shots. He is the Gauchos’ first conference offensive player of the week since Luis Silva in November 2011. Goffin and the rest of the Gauchos return to Santa Barbara this week to host Gonzaga in their home opener on Friday, Sep. 6.

“We played well and we played physical,” said senior quarterback Gabe Molina, who completed 4 of 5 passes for 106 yards and two TDs in the first half. “It was good for us to know where we’re at in our first game. “The offensive line stepped up big and our receivers made plays.” Four of Bishop’s seven TDs went for 40 yards or more and five players got into the end zone. Anthony Carter, who alternated at quarterback with Molina on every play in the first three quarters, brought the crowd to its feet on the opening kickoff. He returned it 69 yards, setting his team up at the Saints’ 16-yard line. On second down, Aidan Williams went up the middle and broke three tackles to complete an 11yard touchdown. The PAT try was wide left. BJ Murillo scored three TDs in the game. He raced into the end zone on a 40-yard inside reverse to make it 20-0 in the opening quarter, caught a 33-yard pass from Molina that boosted the lead to 34-0 five minutes before halftime and scored on a 3-yard run with 4:23 to go in the third period. Nunzio Bilotti foiled Santa Maria’s best drive of the game, a 12-play, 56-yard march in the final quarter. He intercepted a fourth-down pass at his own 25 and returned it 75 yards for the final TD with 5:16 remaining. Find the rest of this article, plus recaps of other high school football season openers on PresidioSports.com.

Bishop Diego Football Wins Big in Season Opener

WEEKEND’S HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL SCHEDULE

Top-ranked Bishop Diego raced out to a 34-0 halftime lead in Friday night’s football opener at SBCC’s La Playa Stadium and went on to blank Santa Maria 48-0. The Cardinals, the preseason No. 1 pick in the CIF Northwest Division, threw three touchdown passes and outgained the visiting Saints 348 yards to 98 in the first half. Bishop scored touchdowns on five of its first six possessions.

FRIDAY: San Marcos (1-0) at Rio Mesa (0-0), 7pm FRIDAY: Bishop Diego (1-0) at Santa Ynez (1-0), 7pm FRIDAY: Carpinteria (1-0) at South Torrance (0-0), 7:30pm SATURDAY: San Luis Obispo (1-0) at Dos Pueblos (0-1), 4pm SATURDAY: Beverly Hills (0-0) at Santa Barbara (1-0), 3:30pm

SEPTEMBER 6 – 13 | 2013 |

PUMP IT

by Jenny Schatzle

Fitness Professional/Life Motivator Jenny Schatzle runs the popular Jenny Schatzle Bootcamp right here in Santa Barbara. N.A.S.M , Cardio Kickboxing and SPIN Certified, Jenny was recently awarded Best Outdoor Fitness Program in town. Her motivation, energy and enthusiasm have created a community and program of all ages and fitness levels that cannot be described. It has to be experienced! Free on Saturdays at 8:30am. Go to www.jennyschatzle.com for details.

Onward and Upward!

e start Week 3 with another Jenny Schatzle Moment of Honesty. (I can’t say I love that language – it sounds sort of like an old Saturday Night Live skit – but you get the idea.) It’s a simple question, really: Do you look at life and see the glass half full or half empty? Think about it. And be honest. Week 3 is all about ATTITUDE – both having one and making it positive. The attitude you have dictates what kind of workout you have, what kind of day you have and ultimately what kind of life you have. Let’s face it, it’s very easy in this world to NOT be positive with the media (except for the Sentinel, very positive!), all the struggles and sadness in the world and those we face on a daily basis with difficult circumstances. It’s tough out there, people, I’m not denying that. But how we rise above all of that negativity, how we deal with challenging situations, is what’s really important. We need to see the positives – the beauty and all the things we have to be thankful and grateful for – and direct our focus there. There will be bad days, of course (we all have them), but it’s how we handle them and let them affect us that we need to be aware of. And hey, let’s face it, who doesn’t want to be and hang with a positive person? That’s right, positive energy attracts positive energy (heavy, I know). So change your attitude this week, and see what happens! This week’s nutrition is FRUIT! I simply want you to get more of it into your daily routine. Forego the cereal; enjoy some berries. Reach for an apple for a snack. Pass on the pastry and try a fruit salad. Substitute fruit at least once (better twice) per day this week. Why, you ask? Fruit is packed with water, vital nutrients, anti-oxidants, fiber, vitamins and minerals… and it tastes amazing. So I want you to follow through and eat fruit this week. Oh, and don’t stop drinking that water from last week. (Remember, incremental change over time makes all this difference, we start with one change and add to it each week.) Your workout this week is what you make it. Push yourself, try and add just one extra movement (or more!) if you feel it. That’s what this is all about: Pushing yourself toward a healthier and more fit lifestyle with a more positive outlook. What’s wrong with that?

Warm-up: Get outside and do an easy walk or jog for 10 minutes.

Workout: Set a timer for 20 minutes and do as many rounds of the following movements as possible in that time: Alternating side lunges – 20 (10 each side) Push-ups – 10 Mountain climbers – 10 Pop-ups – 10 Bicycle crunches – 20 (10 each side) Squat jumps – 10 Dips – 10 (use a chair or a bench or whatever) Cool Down: Get back outside (or stay there!) and do another easy walk or jog for 10 minutes. That’s it. This one is exactly what you make it, so work hard and make it worth your while. Do it as many times as possible this week. If you have any questions about anything (or you want more or need a little motivation), please feel free to contact me directly at 805.698.6080 or jenny@jennyschatzle.com. Hope to see you in class soon. Write Jenny a letter (letters@santabarbarasentinel.com) or contact her directly with any questions at jenny@jennyschatzle.com. And go get ‘em, the Sentinel is rooting for you.

Bishop Diego’s Aidan Williams breaks a tackle and the goal line for the top-ranked Cardinals’ first touchdown of 2013.

IT GOES WITHOUT SAYING THAT THERE IS RISK OF INJURY ASSOCIATED WITH ANY AND ALL PHYSICAL ACTIVITY, WHETHER STRENUOUS OR NOT. IF YOU HAVE ANY RELATED CONCERNS AT ALL, THEN PLEASE MAKE SURE TO SPEAK WITH YOUR PHYSICIAN BEFORE ENGAGING IN THE EXERCISE PROGRAM ABOVE. AND IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS ABOUT PARTICULAR MOVEMENTS, THEN PLEASE CALL OR WRITE JENNY SCHATZLE DIRECTLY SO SHE CAN ANSWER THEM. REGARDLESS, HOWEVER, AS A RESPONSIBLE HUMAN BEING, BY PARTICIPATING IN THE FOREGOING EXERCISE PROGRAM, YOU ASSUME ALL OF THE RISK OF DOING SO AND VOLUNTARILY RELEASE, TO THE FULLEST EXTENT ALLOWED BY LAW, ANY AND ALL CLAIMS AGAINST JENNY SCHATZLE BOOTCAMP AND/OR THE SANTA BARBARA SENTINEL.

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Explore America’s Foremost School of Depth Psychology

...continued from p.7 women over 70 who are still, ah, doing it out on the town. With that, we are moving on. We’ve sufficiently beaten this dead Coyote (and likely offended a fair number of readers doing it). Thanks to Rhonda, Alexis and Anne for clearing all of this up. – MSM)

Rules of the Game Dear Matt, it was a fine article a couple weeks ago by Loretta Redd, obviously someone in “the know.” (An Insider’s Guide to Winning City Council Elections, Vol. 2, Issue 32). I appreciated her acknowledgement of the efforts of Francisco, Hotchkiss and Rowse with the support(?) of our mayor to hold the line on spending in the recent past. (The question mark is mine and reflects exactly what you think it might.) I strongly believe that those efforts would have been impossible without the further support of then-Councilwoman Michael Self who supported this group. Her quiet and most valued vote made this happen, mayor or not. George Larson Montecito (Editor’s Note: Thanks for the letter, George, and I’m glad you enjoyed Loretta’s piece. (We all did too, that’s why it was on the cover.) Spending and budgetary concerns are undoubtedly hot-button issues this election season and it will be interesting to hear the candidates’ respective positions about our fair city’s fiscal future. I’m settling in for an interesting run in the next couple months. Thanks again, George, please keep picking us up. We have a few things coming soon on the electoral politics front that should be a lot of fun. – MSM)

Secession for the Funk Zone?

Engaging the Community Psyche for Individual and Social Transformation

Hey Matt – I checked the Metro Art Pole and apparently it’s official: The Funk Zone has a logo, a slogan and a patron saint. (I can’t say I know her name but she is a babe.) I guess the next FZ goal will be cityhood or, even better, statehood. Then we can have our own song and flower or bud. Like Dylan said, “The times, they are a changin’.” That’s especially true for the landscape here in the FZ. Cheers. Jim Mahoney Santa Barbara (Editor’s Note: Great to hear from you again, Jim, thanks for the picture. The Funk Zone is indeed changing and we’d better keep our eye on it (especially with that patron saint, she’s a babe indeed). If you haven’t seen it already, I’d invite you to have a look at Jeff Harding’s piece a couple weeks back entitled The Funk Zone as Urban Renewal (The Weekly Capitalist, Vol. 2, Issue 32). It’s terrific, if I may say so myself, and takes a look at the zoning and economics of the FZ. Interesting times for sure. – MSM)

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Matt, here is one response to Leoncio Martins’ letter regarding the debt ceiling last week (Politics Are Back in the Sentinel!, Vol. 2, Issue 33). But before I am labeled as a right wing, conservative, tea party Republican, know this: I am a retired registered unaffiliated voter. Also, this letter is not intended to change Mr. Martins’ beliefs. He appears to feel strongly about and comfortable with his political philosophy. Yes, raising the debt ceiling is the Government’s way of paying for past irresponsible fiscal spending policies. There is no incentive to produce a reasonable budget as long as you know that raising the

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...continued from p.9

debt ceiling is your safety net. As Mr. Martins said in his argument in favor of the raising the debt ceiling, one definition of insanity is repeating the same action and expecting a different result. But another definition of insanity is to borrow billions of dollars now to pay for uncontrolled past spending that will create unsustainable future debt. Mr. Martins’ thinking eludes me. In any event, what wasn’t mentioned in the letter was the billions of dollars in interest payments we incur each year to pay for this borrowed money. From October 2012 to July 2013 the government has paid $370 billion in interest (www.treasurydirect.gov/govt/ reports/ir/ir_expense.htm) and by the end of the fiscal year it could reach $414 billion. That’s $370 billion that doesn’t buy us anything; it just raises the actual cost of government programs. The credit agencies have already stated that our deficits and $16+ trillion of debt are not sustainable and will result in lowering our credit rating, which will cause our loan cost to go even higher. S&P has already downgraded us from AAA to AA+ (first time in history our rating fell below AAA) and Moody’s and Fitch are proposing the same action if the government doesn’t get a handle on its finances. Of course the debt ceiling will eventually be raised. Democrats will never voluntarily stop their insatiable need to spend. So in order to get some semblance of common sense back into the budget equation you have to use every weapon you have. Our leadership, having profound

wisdom, stated we are not a deadbeat nation. But of course we are: Any government that repeatedly develops unrealistic budgets and believes that we can continue to borrow our way out has a deadbeat mentality. History will someday tell us that we were living in a time that called for strong leaders; instead we got speeches, Benghazi, the IRS, the NSA, drones and Syria. It will also tell us that we needed a competent government; instead we elected Bush, Obama, Boehner, Pelosi, Reid and McConnell. But look at the bright side. We will become a third world country with the highest standard of living. John Morrison Goleta (Editor’s Note: Terrific letter, John, thanks very much. I haven’t looked into the statistics you provided in any depth (thanks though for the citation) but can’t say that I disagree with the failure of leadership perspective. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to believe that we are living in a time that will one day prove poignant, and my gut is that our government, the one we, the people, elect, isn’t always making the grade. Years of political wrangling and back room deals in the name of special interests and corporate greed rather than transparency and action for the benefit of the nation and the politicians’ constituents is resulting in a tremendously distrustful and apathetic public, on the one hand, and a disconnected and increasingly elitist and protectionist government, on the other. Uh-oh. Maybe I should read that Second Amendment again… thanks for the letter, John. – MSM)

Simple. Rustic. California.

Eureka! may not have been full when I was there on a weekday mid-afternoon taking pictures but it usually is, and certainly will be for the one year anniversary celebration. (Go have some fun and check out the festivities!)

Certified Cicerone Sarah Huska enjoys her job. A lot.

emphasizes the smooth, creamy body of this nitrogen-poured (think Guinness) beer and adds an autumnal-flavored finish to the pairing.

Entertainment! Besides all of this great beer and food, there are several more events planned for the anniversary. Every Wednesday at 6:30pm is Eureka!’s Steal the Glass night, meaning you get to keep the glass for the

headlining brew (on other nights, the kind folks at Eureka! do not encourage taking their glassware or thievery of any kind). But Sarah has a special pre-party event planned on Thursday evening (September 12). She will be offering a variety of different brews served in glassware that can be taken with you (without charges being filed). On Friday (September 13), starting at 7:30pm, guests will get a chance to interact with the producers of their favorite brews. AJ Stoll, Figueroa Mountain’s Brewmaster, and Paul Rey, brewer and mastermind behind Telegraph’s sour beer program, among others, will be there to greet drinkers and discuss beer. But beer takes the backstage on Saturday (September 14), when a selection of live bands will perform throughout the day. At 2pm, Santa Barbara-based soulful reggae group, One Two Tree, is set to play, and the mellow-rock stylings of Trey Tosh will be heard at 8:30pm. So whether thirsty, hungry or in need of entertainment at any point from September 13 – 15, make sure to swing by and visit Eureka! Burger to help celebrate one year of good beer right here in this blossoming beer culture. (www.eurekarestaurantgroup.com; 805.618.3388; 601 Paseo Nuevo). Cheers, Santa Barbara!

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with Mark Léisuré

Mark spends much of his time wandering Santa Barbara and environs, enjoying the simple things that come his way. A show here, a benefit there, he is generally out and about and typically has a good time. He says that he writes “when he feels the urge” and doesn’t want his identity known for fear of an experience that is “less than authentic.” So he remains at large, roaming the town, having fun. Be warned.

Making War Funny

“C

omedy isn’t pretty,” Steve Martin once said – or maybe that was the title of one of his early LPs, before he started doing the bluegrass banjo thing more seriously (I’m not sure, and I’m too lazy to look it up). But you know what’s even uglier? War. It’s brutal. Especially when an enemy sniper nearly blows your head off. That’s what happened to former US Army Staff Sergeant Thom Tran. He was on his way into the city where Jessica Lynch was captured after the special forces has “rescued” her in beginning of the war in Iraq when he got shot in the back of the head by a faraway sniper. Or so the official story goes as it might have been friendly fire, but either way Tran earned a Purple Heart for being wounded in battle. The thing that’s crazy is he stuck around for another two years. “It was my first week in Iraq and I was full of piss and vinegar,” he recalled. The last thing my troops needed was to see me freaking out. So I bandaged myself up, they took me to a combat hospital. And then something inside me said I can’t leave my mission. So I did my 12 months in Iraq. Then two weeks before I came home, an IED exploded and killed my roommate. That’s when things went downhill for me and the combat stress set in.” Tran received a medical discharge back in 2005, but still struggled with PTSD. About the only thing that helped at all was comedy. Not listening to it – performing it. Doing stand-up became his only real therapy. Especially doing comedy for

The GIs of Comedy perform at SOhO Thursday, September 12, as a benefit for the Soldier’s Project.

soldiers on active or reserve duty and/or their families back home. In 2008, Tran toured overseas for two weeks performing to troops all over Iraq and Kuwait, and in 2009 was named the USO’s “Funniest Service Member” at a benefit for the Bob Hope USO back home in Los Angeles. Since then he’s performed all over the United States, and when he’s not touring he’s often up on stage at the Hollywood Improv, the World Famous Comedy Store and other local clubs. A few years ago, Tran created the GIs of Comedy – which stars fellow funny vets who do stand-up in a touring show. They’re bringing it up to Santa Barbara for the first time on Thursday night, September 12, in a benefit show at SOhO for the Soldier’s Project. Tran talked about the tour and how comedy has helped him. Q. How did this come about? A. There are plenty of comics

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and entertainers who go overseas to perform for us soldiers. But there’s never been a group of guys who were actually veterans who did that. A group who could really relate to the guys on the ground. And we like to perform for the families too, the people back here who are supporting the guys who are overseas. They’re just as involved as people in uniform. But they didn’t even sign up for it; they were drafted. Their kid or spouse signed the paper.

And when they laugh, that’s my therapy. That’s my immediate gratification. That sense of acceptance.

But seriously dude – how funny is war and all that sort of thing? War is hilarious. Any situation can be funny if the timing is right... We’ve had people say you shouldn’t joke about this – it’s not funny. But in combat you have to be able to laugh or you’d snap, because you’re under stress twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, for months... We don’t just talk about our military careers, but also about who we are, comic book geeks, sci-fi nerds. One of the other guys and I, we found out we both had a light saber ring tone, and we had an honest to God two-hour thing about who was going to take it off. The military is who we are, but it’s way more than just Army jokes. You don’t have to have worn the boots to understand what we do. We make our jokes relatable. Even if the closest combat you’ve ever had is Call of Duty on the Xbox.

Laugh it Up

Nice segue: You’re a playable character in Call of Duty: Black Box Ops aren’t you, playing all the Vietnamese characters? I was the consultant working on the game, making it more realistic. Then they asked me if I wanted to be in it. I said “Are you drunk?” It’s a computer geeks dream come true. They scanned my face. And then instead of hiring a bunch of other models they just changed my face and hair, because you know they’re racist. So I’m all of them. So anyway, GIs of Comedy isn’t just a marketing gimmick? No, man, stand-up is my therapy. It’s my way of dealing with PTSD and even everyday stress. And when people laugh at my jokes, they’re saying to me, “Hey, we get you. We understand what you’re saying. And we’re glad you think the way we do.” And that’s helped me a lot more than those years of counseling and therapy. I’m vocalizing all the things they want to say but can’t figure out how to. Some of my jokes are very serious – I actually run the video of me getting shot in the head. But I turn it into a joke.

So it actually helps you with PTSD? Let me put it this way: I haven’t been on stage in two weeks. If you ask my fiancée she’ll say I’ve been kind of a dick ever since. I get grumpy. When I first came home, drinking and gambling and sex was how I got the aggression out. But that’s kind of expensive and dangerous. Now I have comedy. It’s much better. Can’t make it on Thursday? No reason to get your khakis in a twist. There’s comedy downtown every Friday and Saturday night courtesy of Comedy Hideaway, starring stand-ups from Santa Barbara, Los Angeles and beyond. The shows take place upstairs in the new Verdé restaurant on lower State Street, beginning at 9pm Friday and 7:30 & 10pm Saturday, with three or four comics manning the mic each night, including producer Andrey Belikov. Comedy Hideaway’s Thursday night series also continues out at Petrini’s in Goleta. Bret Ernst, who’s been on Comedy Central and guest starred on Weeds, and Samantha Ross, who produces comedy shows at Zoey’s in Ventura, headline this weekend.

Some Nights at the Bowl Some nights are really fun at the Santa Barbara Bowl. Some are even more fun than others. Saturday September 7 will be really, really fun, as in fun., the indie pop band that scored big at the Grammy Awards last winter, winning best new artist and song of the year awards via the international smash single “We Are Young” from their sophomore CD, Some Nights. The New York City-based band is bringing its Most Nights tour to the Bowl, with fellow indie stars Tegan & Sara – the twin sister act that has visited SB several times in the last couple of years – opening the show.

Twice the Fun The Chumash Casino normally hosts concerts only on Thursday night (Sempember 12) – the big Samala Showroom is used for bingo the rest of the time. But this week there are two chances to hear music in the 1,400-seat joint, and two times as many chances to lose money after the concert. On Saturday, some lucky up-and-coming local singer will win the finals and be crowned the Tri County’s “Rising Star,” taking home a grand prize of $5,000, a studio recording session and the opportunity to open for a headline performer at the casino resort’s 1,400-seat hall down the road. And on Thursday, sink into Silk Degrees, as the great Bay Area blues-based crooner Boz Scaggs (“Lido Shuffle,” “Lowdown,” “We’re All Alone”) returns to the Chumash.

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THE MINDFUL WORD by Diana M. Raab

An award-winning memoirist, essayist, blogger and poet living in Santa Barbara, Diana’s been writing ever since she received her first pen more than fifty years ago. She is the author of eight books and numerous articles and poems. Her passions include journaling and inspiring others to write. She’s a regular blogger for the Huffington Post and her website is: www.dianaraab.com.

Looking Back on August

e should always have reasons to celebrate. For my family the month of August is always cause for celebration. My and my husband’s anniversary is on August 18 and both our daughters were born on August 19. As an engineer, my husband’s claim to fame was precision engineering having two kids born on the same day, but those who understand the timings of holidays and life cycles understand this to be only partly true. This past month was also my father-in-law’s 89th birthday, another cause for a wonderful celebration, and August 12 was my mother’s 83rd birthday. I also have two nephews and a brother-inlaw born at the end of August. What a month. For more universal reasons to celebrate in August, here are some lesser known holidays: August 3 is National Watermelon Day, and August 13 is National Left Handers Day. As a writer, one of my favorites was also celebrated in August – National Book Lovers Day. Earlier this month when teaching memoir writing at the new Antioch Summer Writing Institute, I reminded the adult learners of the importance of reading and how if they want to be a writer, it is essential to be an avid reader. One of the best books on the subject is written by Francine Prose, called Reading Like a Writer, which Amazon voted as one of the best books of 2013. Francine Prose is one of my favorite writers not only because is she a powerful storyteller, but she tells it simply as it is. In her book, she reminds us to all slow down when we are reading and pay attention to the words on the page and to be mindful of how the writers carefully chose each word. A writing mentor once reminded me of choosing the right word or “le mot juste.”

A Reading Writer

I am always amazed how many emerging writers have not chosen reading as one of their favorite pastimes.

Asking someone what is their favorite book, however, is like asking them who their favorite child is. When I am asked the question, I typically respond in the same way I do when people ask me who my favorite child is. “It’s the one who I am with at the time.” It is, however, possible to share a list of memorable books which might have left an impact on you. Most of us do have our favorite authors and the one we choose to read at any given time is often connected to our moods and what might be happening in our lives. Obviously, if someone is going through a divorce they will not choose to read heavy romantic novels or if they are depressed, they will not want to read depressing books. According to the National Whatever Day website, the origin of National Book Lovers Day is unclear. I found it amusing that on the site it actually describes what a book is, and I wonder for how many more generations this will have to be done before the word becomes obsolete. “A book is a set of written, printed, illustrated, or blank sheets, made of ink, paper, parchment, or other materials, usually fastened together to hinge at one side. A single sheet within a book is called a leaf, and each side of a leaf is called a page. A book produced in electronic format is known as an electronic book (e-book),” it reads. More than anything, I was delighted to read this last sentence as we all slowly watch the pages of printed books slip from our fingertips. The website also discusses terms for those who enjoy reading. I found it amusing that it mentions a few names for people like me, such as bibliophile, avid readers of books or bookworms. While I agree with the first two terms, in my mind, the third one offers a negative connotation as someone who might be socially dysfunctional because all they do is read. I would like to

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believe that reading makes an individual more functional, and more interesting, but also books help provide answers, are educational, informative and relaxing. Somewhere I read that reading makes smarter and happier people. How nice is that! As writers, reading informs our work and gives us other writer styles to emulate and admire.

Stimulate Your Mind

The idea of National Book Lovers Day is to encourage reading as a pastime or hobby. Those who say that they do not like reading might have attention or learning difficulties or, more often than not, they simply are reading the wrong things. Perhaps they are reading what they think they should be reading rather than what they want to be reading. If you know someone who says they don’t like reading, maybe try buying them a book about a special interest of theirs. Sometimes the best place to start reading is magazines or on an iPad. Reading can open your mind and change your way of thinking. Those can be powerful tools for growth and transformation. I recently watched a Ted Talk which was very interesting and I recommend, called “Lisa Bu: How books can open your mind” (check it out at www.ted.com). Visiting bookstores also inspires reading. Check out some local favorites:

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Chaucer’s Books 3321 State Street Santa Barbara, California (805) 682-6787 Granada Books 1224 State Street Santa Barbara, California (805) 845-1818 Book Den 15 East Anapamu Street Santa Barbara, California (805) 962-3321 Tecolote Book Shop 1470 East Valley Road Montecito, California (805) 969-4977 Left Coast Books 5877 Hollister Avenue Goleta, California (805) 845-1212 There are lots more terrific bookstores around Santa Barbara and environs – the foregoing list isn’t meant to be exhaustive, instead it contains just a few places where one might start perusing the stacks. That’s where I’ll be as often as possible until next year’s National Book Lovers Day.

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by Jana Mackin

A journalist and a poet, Jana has lived everywhere from New Orleans and Butte, Montana to Saudi Arabia, where she taught English to children. Her articles have appeared in numerous publications, including The Washington Post and San Francisco Examiner. She now lives in the Valley.

Who Dat? I had a wonderful experience at Lions Peak Tasting Room, primarily as a consequence of the efforts of Owner and Winemaker Jennifer Rose Arant and Jon Stephens. Thanks guys!

rossing thresholds has always intrigued me. Whether as a tourist walking off the street through open doors into Lions Peak Vineyards Tasting Room or listening to Brazilian guitarist/composer Jon Stephen’s lush melodies crossing into the tropical genius of “Carnival in the Rain,” a basso-sambo shower of sensual tones and colors from Out of the Blue, his soon-to-be-released CD. I generally eschew hyperbole, but when I listened to that cut I was rendered speechless by this unique musician whose range of melodic purity and rich fusions of bossa nova, samba, jazz, flamenco, folk, world music and other influences are articulated through his original vision. Genius, as defined by the Oxford English Dictionary, is an “attendant spirit present from one’s birth, innate ability

or inclination.” Such genius, I argue, comes in this case from New Orleans, which inspired Jon to create his Tropical Brazilian Guitar genre. I might also describe his talent infused with, oh, I don’t know… Who Dat Duende.

New Orleans, My Love Yes, Jon, a true New Orleanian drenched in Who Dat genius, is inspired by the originality and passion indigenous to the Crescent City. And as someone who spent nearly 20 years in New Orleans, I clearly hear Jon’s Who Dat Duende played in this time-space nexus of Lions Peak Tasting Room. The heady intoxicants of his passionate music swirl with the sultry afternoon and welcome

Brazilian/New Orleanian/Central Californian Jon Stephens gets it done on the guitar. Beautifully.

of open doors to ferry me out of reality’s stranglehold and past a threshold into collective memory and imagination. I am as easily dancing at Café Brasil (closed after Katrina) as seated at this approachable Solvang tasting room. What Jon and I share is that we’re part of the Who Dat Nation, touched by the tropical, exotic melodies and eclectic denizens of the Big Easy. We are also part of the Who Dat Diaspora who can’t go home again except perhaps via his Orpheus Valley guitar. “The strings have memories,” he said. “They remember how they were tuned.” Same can be said for the Who Dat Psyche. “N’awlins got her mojo working,” Jon said, slipping into Yat. “Don’t take much to get me back there. We got a thing.” Then suddenly he was more serious. “But when I went back in 2000 everything was changed. I realized I could never go home again. Only in music and memories.” I know, baby, I know. Done gone thru Katrina. So we while away the afternoon,

listening to the dark flamenco of “El Amor De Ofelia” (off his The Art of Solo Guitar CD), a plaintive interpretation of “Over the Rainbow” or a memorable homage to Antiono Carlos Jobim’s “Wave” that brings tears. Still, it is “Carnival in the Rain” that haunts. For what is the N’awlins’ soul if not a “Carnival in the Rain”? Champagne honey flavors the afternoon. I am mostly oblivious to the background conversations and tinkling of glasses except lingering phrases as apropos for Lions Peak wines as Jon’s music: Rich texture, intense color, silky tannins, long lingering finish. Through Jon’s music and my wonderful glass of late harvest Viognier, I cross the threshold into shimmering memory of lifetimes ago. At one point, Jackie Boone, tasting room sales associate, asks Jon, “What is the correct way to say New Orleans?” “That depends on what parish you are from,” he replied, smiling. “I grew up in uptown and was taught to enunciate every syllable of New Orleans. However if you are from the Ninth Ward...” Jon paused, then launched into a N’awlins Yat diatribe. Music to my ears. Who Dat Duende.

Musical Genius Landed on the Central Coast from the Big Easy Self taught, Jon cut his teeth playing gigs in the French Quarter. He had two bands, Elegant Gypsy and Gulfstream, that became well known, and he played lots of shows throughout the city. He has been a guest soloist with artists such as Dr. John, Charmaine Neville, the Neville Brothers, Ritmo Caribeño, with whom he was featured with on WWL Spirit Of Louisiana, and has opened for loads of legendary acts. As one might imagine, Jon has lots of

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great stories, one of which involves Dr. John asking to play Jon’s guitar and promising not to sweat on it if Jon will let him. Then they play a song together, during which Dr. John called for Jon to lay down a solo. He did, and when it was all done, Dr. John leaned over and told Jon, looking him right in the eye, “I said I wasn’t gonna sweat on your guitar but that solo was so hot I got sweat running down the crack of my ass!” Jon can spin a yarn. And he does a great Dr. John impersonation. “I’ve been very fortunate,” he told me. “I’ve traveled all over America and Europe all with music leading and making the way. I came to the Central Coast in 2005 and totally fell in love with the people and scenery.” “I’m so grateful for such a wide acceptance of my music. I created a new genre that I named Tropical Brazilian. It’s full of polyrhythms, beautiful melodies and chords that bring a fresh, exciting sound that soothes the soul and feeds the imagination with goodness.” Who Dat Duende. ••• It’s almost closing time at Lions Peak Tasting Room. Thresholds will evaporate. Jon’s guitar will be still. But other venues will invite as he continues a grueling schedule of creating and performing live at such venues as Lions Peak, Morovino Winery, Sycamore Mineral Springs Resort, Dolphin Bay Resort & Spa’s Lido Restaurant as well as other area wineries, resorts and events. He is also busy composing original music and soundtracks, even commercials. Since his arrival here, Jon’s music and generous personality has garnered the love and respect of an ever widening audience. “John constantly amazes us,” said Andrea Morovino, Morovino Winery owner and winemaker. “He has been playing regularly with us for three years now, and our customers and guests just love him. He is so passionate about what he does, you can see it in his face and in his music. His range is extraordinary and listening to him is a healing experience. He is the nicest human being I have ever met. He is one of the hardest working musicians on the Central Coast.” Now it was Andrea who paused, thoughtfully. “And he is destined for greatness.” I agree. Who dat.

VALLEY GIRL’S VOLLEYS I loved meeting Jon Stephen and hearing him play at Lions Peak Tasting Room. To find out more about Jon and where he is performing go to www.facebook.com/jon. stephen.18. And check out Lions Peak Tasting Room at 1659 Copenhagen Drive, Solvang; 805.693.5466; www.lionspeakwine.com.

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by Christina Enoch

Hope Ranch black mussels done right. Yum.

My New Favorite KCHEN Project Chef Kevin Harris and Emily Nordee. Getting it done. And looking good doing it.

There’s that grilled peach super-salad in all its glory. Now that’s food porn if I’ve ever seen it.

ood trucks and pop-up restaurants – they’ve been the hottest trends in the uber-hip food and restaurant scene for the last few years. All the foodie hot spots from San Francisco to Portland and the Napa Valley (and lots of others) have been inundated with creative concepts on wheels and for one night only. Santa Barbara, our very own little budding foodie destination, hasn’t been an exception. I’ve seen many “supper clubs” and other pop-ups literally pop up around town. I like the concept. It’s a nice way for young chefs to showcase their creative side, and I love seeing people gathered around a community table with their faces all lit up with excitement. It’s almost like they are all in for a special ride at a culinary amusement park, and they feel special too because the chef created the menu (the ride, if you will) just for tonight, just for those lucky (hungry) folks who sought out something a little different than most dining experiences. In other words, pop-up dinners, when executed correctly, can be a lot of fun. And so, when I recently heard good things about a new supper club in town, I couldn’t help but check it out. KCHEN Project, a new “Speakeasy Style Supper Club,” was formed by Chef Kevin Harris and Emily Nordee. When they met at Joe’s a while back and started talking about food, it was, according to them, as if the stars were aligning. (Sometimes great things happen in bars.) They shared a similar food philosophy, a mutual vision of bringing great food made from simple ingredients to the table. When their name together made sense – KCHEN is an acronym from their initials – it was a sign. The universe, they decided, wants them to feed Santa Barbara. Who am I to disagree?

After years of working full time for an ad agency, Christina found her passion in cooking and food. Now armed with her newfound title, “Culinary School Graduate Food Blogger,” she writes and shares her passion for food, cooking, restaurants, photography and food styling in her popular blog, black dog :: food blog. Christina’s a proud mommy of not one but two shelter dogs and lives here in Santa Barbara with her husband. She’s also an avid Polynesian dancer, beach lover, traveler, swimmer, snowboarder and most of all, a lover of anything edible and yummy. Check out her ramblings here and at www.blackdogfoodblog.com.

So… What’s Going On Here, Exactly? The whole KCHEN Project experience is fun. Once I made my reservation I learned that I wouldn’t even know where the dinner would be until the day before the scheduled date. I won’t divulge too much here, but know that I was thrilled when I discovered a lovely and somewhat secret outdoor Funk Zone location. Unfortunately, however, when the big night came, I didn’t have a date. (I know, sad but true.) So I went by myself, with only my trusty butter and flour-covered camera with whom to speak. But I soon realized that there was nothing to fear; the food-first crowd was having fun on a beautiful evening and I fell right into it. No problem. The theme of the night was, um, nautical. (I don’t look good in stripes so I showed up in a white dress that worked pretty well, actually.) That’s another part of the fun: Each dinner will have a theme so everybody can dress a part. (Nice

icebreaker.) The five-course meal was carefully crafted by talented chef Kevin with local ingredients paired with lovely local wines from Santa Barbara Winery, and Emily spent the majority of her time with guests in the front of the house. Kevin and Emily, anecdotally, make a nice pair and generally pulled the evening off without a hitch. Emily comes from a lengthy hospitality business background spanning both coasts, specializing in public relations, branding, marketing, business development and event management. Kevin is no slouch, either: He comes from one of the oldest farming families in the country and has spent his life immersed in food and ingredients and the craft of cooking. He’s been everywhere from terrific restaurants in Connecticut to award winning lodges in Montana to some of the best in Santa Barbara in recent years (Sous Chef at Square One, Chef de Cuisine at Wine Cask.) Now he’s a private chef for a Montecito estate, to boot. So they’ve got some cred. But enough of all that. Let’s get to the food.

KCHEN Delivers After mingling and sipping wine while munching on flatbread with asparagus, fennel sausage and basil pesto – a terrifically delicious crispy thing I couldn’t get enough of – we were off to the assigned tables to start our culinary adventure. It sounds funny, and this should in no way impact your impression of the rest of the meal (it was fantastic), but the salad was my absolute favorite dish of the night. Let it be known that it is very difficult to impress with a salad. And yet I’ll say it again. The damned salad was my favorite dish of the night. Grilled Farmer’s Market peaches, wild baby arugula, artisanal burrata, prosciutto di Parma and Kevin’s signature jam reduction. “WOW” came out of my mouth before I knew it at the first bite. Salad shouldn’t be this flavorful and satisfying. But it was.

Absolutely. Delicious. Sweet corn ricotta ravioli with a smoked corn brodo was creamy, dreamy, yet still very light and delicate. Really well-executed dish. Hope Ranch black mussels with herbed frites were definitely the star of the evening, and folks around me actually squealed with delight when they were brought to the table. Mussels are one of KCHEN’s favorite ingredients (just look at their logo) and they did not disappoint. Delightful. Dessert was a simply prepared summer berry crumble with McConnell’s Vanilla Bean Ice Cream. My second “WOW” of the evening came when I had a bite of that, paired with Santa Barbara Winery’s late harvest Sauvignon Blanc. Let’s just say that I was in my happy place. And we can also say that I left completely satisfied. I thoroughly enjoyed the location, the ambiance, the atmosphere, my fellow diners (even the ones with dates!), the food, the wine, Kevin, Emily and everything else. Look, food trends come and go. Some pop-ups will hit, others will miss. But my experience is that they are worth checking out for a new and exciting dining experience. My experience is also that KCHEN Project nailed it. And I hope Emily and Kevin stick around the local food scene for a very long time.

Food File Fun Facts

ach KCHEN Project Supper Club dinner will feature four to five courses paired with locally sourced wine, beer and/or organic spirits. Locations will vary each time. The price ranges between $45 – $75 per person and will include all food and beverage as well as entertainment. The next dinner, called A Rendezvous in the Riviera, will be held twice, first on Wednesday, September 11, then on Thursday, September 12, and will feature a “South of France Supper.” (If I hadn’t gone to the last one, I’d be going to this one.) Seating is limited, so reach out to Emily and Kevin at (805) 324-4563 or kchenproject@ yahoo.com to reserve your spot. Then get ready to have a good time. Bon appetit! Oh, for those of you who just want a great meal without the rest, you can also purchase KCHEN Project Gourmet Go-Bags – BBQ, picnic, and campout bundles carefully crafted by Chef Kevin so you don’t have to break a sweat!

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SEPTEMBER 6 – 13 | 2013 |

with Julie Bifano Ms Bifano is Drawn to micro-fiction and is currently writing her first novel – “The Grace Below.” She has a B.A. in English with an emphasis in writing from the University of San Francisco and a M.F.A. in Creative Writing, also from the University of San Francisco. More of Julie’s stories and poetry can be viewed on her website juliebifano.com.

Mini Masterpieces (from right) Excecutive Director of Art From Scrap Cay Sanchez with Carlene Wilson, Scott Wilson and Liz Girvin.

Mary Price, Dug Uyesaka and Jill Cloutier at One Night Stand.

he August air was hot and sticky. Sweat accumulated on my brow as I walked into a crowd of artists and art lovers for “One Night Stand,” the major fundraiser for Art From Scrap, a program of Explore Ecology. The stylishly dressed attendees who were anxiously awaiting the event created a chaotic flurry of fun. The excitement only grew, as the band Sidewalk Affair played nostalgic cover songs. This was not a “who’s who” event. These people were gathered together at 27 East Cota Street to peruse and purchase art (each piece was $200), yet the twist was that the artists’ work was nameless, without signature. One could buy a piece of Yoko Ono’s artwork without any knowledge that it was hers. After tasting more than one truffle and honey infused grilled cheese appetizer by Arch Rock Fish, I bumped into Jill Cloutier, PR Coordinator, and Mary Price, Director of Art From Scrap. Jill explained, “The art is really exceptional. It’s a great way to bring art collectors, art lovers and artists all together in one location and proceeds benefit environmental education and the arts.” As Jill spoke to me about the event, I recalled my experience with Art From Scrap as a young child. It was always my preferred field trip in elementary school. Playing with various types of recycled goods (I remember the buttons, postcards, ribbons, fabric, sheet music and CDs) and reusing them to create a new work of art, fostered my imagination and gave me an outlet to express myself. Recently, I went back to Art From Scrap, and not much had changed. They had the array of art items I remembered as a child, and it was still

only a few dollars to fill up a whole bag of artistic goodies. I shared my story with Jill and Mary. Mary responded, “I love to work with kids at Art From Scrap. Making art is so motivating and teaches you creativity.” Entering Gallery 27 was a surreal experience. There was a long tunnellike hallway with white walls that were covered with petit canvases (9x9), each a one-of-a-kind gem with a different story to tell. People were packed in the hallway like smoked oysters in a can. I observed artist Pali-X-Mano, whose work was not only featured on the walls, but on his clothing (hat, jacket, shorts and shoes were splattered with multi-colored paint). A fortuneteller came up to me revealing I had fifteen past lives in Santa Barbara. Erudite art folk scrutinized and discussed various mini-masterpieces. The end of the hallway appeared, opening up into an area where I immediately spotted the Carr Winery table. After a sip of unexpectedly refreshing rosé, I wandered on, running into another featured artist, Sol Hill. Sol concisely summed up the evening, “Out of the unknown, comes new knowledge. This art experience is the most fun, feelgood art event and it’s exciting!” His excitement drew my eyes to linger on a painting of bees with honey dripping down their hive. The queen bee was the focal point of the piece. I was enchanted, as a bee had landed in my vehicle while driving earlier that afternoon. The paint was textured to look like real honey, making one want to reach out and try a taste. Luckily, another truffle and honey infused grilled cheese appetizer came my way just then. What a night!

James Cunningham and Cay Sanchez having a blast at One Night Stand.

Owner of Chaucer’s Bookstore Mahri Kerley with Chris Lancashire.

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...continued from p.15 “I hated the medication,” Deviprana said, matter-of-factly. “It made me feel like there was a cloud over my head. I wasn’t myself. But now I feel better. I’m not taking the medication anymore and I walk easier and just feel lighter.” Sitaprana agrees completely. “I can really see the incremental change happening every day. Her skin color has changed in problematic areas like her ankle and foot, and they are warmer again, not so cold. Her circulation is better. And her coordination is better too.” Wow. What do you say to that? I thanked them and we all stood up. Then Sitaprana and Deviprana walked me to the door.

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They were both beaming when I took their photograph and hugged them goodbye. ••• As I left the Vedanta Temple and my time with Deviprana and Sitaprana and Bob Cooley, I was, once again, reflective. I thought about people’s beliefs and relationships and their ability to affect each other in positive ways despite the most challenging circumstances. And as I tried mightily to make sense of all I’d heard and seen and experienced – a terrible disease’s lack of discrimination, the powerful spiritual monasticism, the unconventional treatment – I heard Deviprana’s voice and I relaxed.

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Wendi’s Wednesday hiking group in front of the Yarnbomb on Hot Springs Trail at Saddlerock. (Looking good, ladies, looking real good.) (Photo credit: Wendi Mazza)

“Hope,” she’d said to me, repeatedly. “Bob Cooley has given me hope.” What else is there?

STUFF I LIKE I like Deviprana and Sitaprana and Bob Cooley a huge amount, and just cannot thank all of them enough for letting me in on their world and perspective. It was an emotional, physical and spiritual learning experience for me from soup to nuts, and thanks doesn’t do it. (But it’s what I’ve got.) I highly recommend checking out the Vedanta Temple and its terrific bookstore at the very least; for those more interested, the Sunday lecture in the temple and school for the kids is excellent as well. (www.vedanta.org; (805) 969-2903; 927 Ladera Lane). Check out Bob Cooley at www.thegeniusofflexibility.com or at one of his upcoming lectures at Yoga Soup. I hear Bob may soon have one of his Genius of Flexiblity Centers at Yoga Soup (www.yogasoup.com), so stay tuned. My thoughts are with you Deviprana (and Sitaprana), see you on a Sunday soon. Much love. Much respect. Switching gears, I like student athletes (maybe some of you should consider talking to old Bob Cooley). And Santa Barbara Running Company (another thing I like) is hosting its first ever High School Spike Week, September 6 – 12, at both its downtown and Goleta locations. Cross Country runners will get 15% off their purchases all week and there will be free Chicken Ranch grub, prizes and music at the Goleta store on September 12. Run fast! www.sbrunningco.com; (805) 899-8802 (SB); (805) 964-6700 (Goleta). Finally, my wife likes these things called “yarn bombs,” and apparently there is one for all to see and admire right now up Hot Springs Trail on Saddlerock. (The whole rock is basically covered with a lovely crocheted pattern, from what I gather.) Go for a hike, find the yarn bomb and meditate on it. Peace.

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by Rachelle Oldmixon

Who In The Hell Is That Guy?

I’m not sure but I think that’s Facial Recognition expert Dr. Matt Peterson. Or is it Arnold Schwarzenegger? Ronald Reagan? No no, I think it’s Johnny Appleseed. George Washington. Ah, to hell with it. We’ve no idea.

awks have unbelievable eyesight. Compared to them, humans are bumbling about down on the ground, feeling lucky if we can see a mile off into the distance. We keep hearing about the amazing sensory feats, especially vision, of other animals. But no one seems to stop and think, “Hey, people are pretty impressive, too.” That’s because, like many things, our sensory capabilities are things we experience every day. Constant exposure to something usually dims our ability to see its importance. Human sight in particular is an incredible display of biological (and psychological) wonder. We can recognize hundreds of faces – even pick them out of crowds – within milliseconds. In fact, we recognize faces as well as we are ever going to within 0.3 – 0.5 seconds. That’s fast. But even if that does not already seem like a Herculean accomplishment, consider just how similar each human face really is. Two eyes, two ears, a nose and a mouth, all in about the same place on each face. The distance ratios between those features are always about the same, with a little variation. So you can’t really determine who someone is by how far their eyes are from their mouth. There is some difference in how facial features are shaped, for sure, but many individuals within a given ethnicity share similar feature shapes. It really is an impressive thing to be able to distinguish one human from another. (I mean, come on, you can’t tell squirrels apart, can you?) If we could determine how humans are able to make those distinctions, we may be able to unlock new information about the human condition.

Turn Your Head A Little to the Left and Let Me Look Near Your Nose (Nope I Have No Idea Who You Are) Dr. Matt Peterson, a postdoc in the Psychology Department working with Dr. Miguel Eckstein, has begun to understand how we distinguish faces. He began with a very simple question: Where do we focus on a face when we are trying to recognize it? It turns out that we don’t focus on the eyes as you might think. Instead, most of us focus a little bit below the eyes, just to the right of the middle of the target face’s nose. That is, we focus on a spot that is a little off center from the middle of the face. Seems like a strange spot, right? There isn’t much visual information located on the side of the nose. As it turns out, a computer simulation that can reproduce how the human eye sees helped Matt figure out why we look at a spot with so little information. The exact spot where you and I unconsciously focus our eyes is where we can see the most detail, with our ability to see details fading as visual information moves away from that spot. Given the size of a face, looking a little off-center allows both the eyes and the mouth to be in a reasonable amount of focus. Focusing on the eyes “blurs” the details of the mouth too much (and vice versa). The results of Matt’s computer model told him two things: (1) that both the mouth and the eyes contain a lot of identifying information about a face and (2) that most people naturally develop the optimal method of identifying faces. Pretty cool right?

A self-professed science nerd, Rachelle has her B.A. in neuroscience from Skidmore College in upstate New York, and is working towards her Master’s in psychology at UCSB. In her free time, she blogs at www.synapticspeculations.com. She never could quite understand why she had to choose just one area of science; they are all fascinating. Especially when paired with some classic rock.

SEPTEMBER 6 – 13 | 2013 |

These “mouth-lookers,” as Matt calls them, are an anomaly and have caused him to begin questioning his theory that the off-center focal point is optimal because it allows the most features to be recognized. Matt didn’t seem upset when he told me this; instead, he seemed excited. So what if his current theory isn’t exactly right? Maybe the results from his next study will help him figure out a theory that is even better. That’s science, baby. Progress. And that’s even cooler than what I wrote above, right?

Mouth-Lookers Are FaceRecognition Anomalies And Screwed Dr. Peterson Up

EIC Matt Is Not Face-Blind (Despite Observations to the Contrary)

If you need proof that a computer model could help Matt figure out why we look a little off-center when identifying a face, take his next experiment. He asked participants to come in and look at and identify faces. Matt then was able to direct their focus to different areas of the face with an on-screen cue. The farther a participant’s focus moved away from the optimal focus point, the worse he or she was at identifying faces. Except for a very small percentage of the participants, that is. Some people who performed Matt’s task were awful at identifying faces when focusing on the optimal spot. Instead, they were best able to identify faces when looking near the mouth.

Oh, and by the way, some people are “face-blind.” That is, they can’t identify faces at all. No matter where they focus, faces simply don’t make sense. The condition, called prosopagnosia, is very rare, although there do seem to be people who are mildly affected. Think you might be one of them? Check your facial recognition skills at www.faceblind.org/facetests. I keep hearing that EIC Matt Mazza took the test and scored a 90%, which is, according, to him anyway, “above average.” That’s great, Matt, but I bet there are plenty out there who can beat your score. (And thus, perhaps, shut you up.) Any takers?

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Plan B by Briana Westmacott Hailing from NorCal, Briana has lived in Santa Bar-

bara for the past fifteen years. While she is indeed an adjunct faculty member at SBCC and has contributed to LOVEmikana, Wake & Wander and Entrée Magazine, much of her time is spent multi-tasking her way through days as a mother, wife, sister, wantto-be chef and travel junky. Writing is an outlet that ensures mental stability… usually.

T is for Taylor

s the lights went low, eighteen thousand tweenagers began to scream and wave glow sticks in the air. (Let me just tell you, eighteen thousand screaming tweenagers put an industrial strength fire alarm to shame. Easily.) I quickly looked over at our group of young girls to double-check that they weren’t too overwhelmed by the moment. There were no smiles on their faces and their eyes were shocked wider than silver dollars. Did we make a mistake bringing our children to the Staples Center for their first big concert?

Patience is a Virtue… Mostly Half a year, that’s how long the anticipation had been building. Six months is a long time and it marches by even more painstakingly slowly through a child’s eyes. I think it’s safe to parallel it to dog years. Simply multiply the whole thing by seven to better understand that stretch of time in a kid’s mind. Yep, that’s forty-two months of incessant queries, “Are we going to the Taylor Swift concert today, Mom?” The truth is that we were lucky we even got tickets to T. Swift’s Red show. It wasn’t easy. I can’t boast that I beat out a hundred thousand other teeny bopping, speed dialing fans. I actually cheated and went through an old friend who has big connections in LA – thanks belong to Scott Pruitt and Time Warner Sports for setting us up in their sweet suite – but

FEA

pR ED

Sentinel offspring representing at the Staples Center (take note of that “T” in my daughter’s hand).

we got those tickets to T. Swift’s show and told the girls we were all set to go… in six months. “Six months! I just can’t wait six months!” my older daughter Elli (loudly) informed me (often). I explained that certain things are well worth the wait. We crossed out each day on the calendar and the countdown was on. During those six months, Elli learned to pen Taylor Swift’s autograph and subsequently tattooed her entire white bed frame and a few illegal wall locales with Swift’s Sharpie signature. Her room became cluttered with tacked up posters and magazine articles and CD covers with T. Swift lyrics. She saved up for a shiny red pair of cowboy boots. I’m pretty sure we had entered the realm of the fanatical when Elli decided

she needed to hand-paint Taylor’s initials and place them next to her own on the shelf above her bed.

Summer Time Rolls A few months before the concert and while submerged in the middle of the summer chaos (read: parents constantly challenged to fill every day with activities), I took Elli and a bunch of her girlfriends to Knit Fit. If you don’t know Knit Fit, you should. This local shop is a crafter’s dream. Every girl picked out her initials and proceeded to paint them in vibrant colors and patterns. I quickly grabbed Elli’s hand before she started to douse paint on a big “T” that she had set in front of herself. “What are you doing? Don’t you want an E?” “No, Mom, the ‘T’ is for Taylor,” she replied, and I sunk down in a seat to watch her paint the damned thing. That big painted “T” was not overlooked when we packed our bags for our overnight trip. Since the concert was at the Staples Center, I decided it would be fun to take the Amtrak train down to Union Station in downtown Los Angeles. Why not add some public transportation into the adventure? We cruised along on the Surfliner’s tracks, gazing out at the majestic Pacific, enjoying each other’s company. One thing is for sure. After that trip, I can confidently say that there is perhaps no better way to get to LA. Once we stepped off the train, we transitioned to the fast lane. Big cities tend to have this effect. The whole concert went by in a blur. From the opening act to the final performance, everyone in that dome was entertained. (Hard.) It surpassed my expectations in every way. Ed Sheeran (Taylor’s opening act) rocked the house with his musical talent, blowing through two guitars before finishing his set. But nothing could top Taylor’s presence on the stage. I knew the young lady was musically gifted, but she went on to surprise me with her profound descriptions of how and why she writes her songs. There were some solid messages that she delivered about bullying and love and music’s ability to heal the soul. I know for a fact our girls were listening.

Taylor had everyone listening. At one point I sat down and watched as Elli proudly waved her “T” in the air, mimicking Taylor’s dance moves and singing along word-for-word to one of her favorite songs, “You Belong With Me.” It was such a special moment to see Elli’s dream come true and I could sense the amount of wonder and joy she was feeling. I recorded part of it on video so I could share that moment with her for years to come. But when we went to watch that video the next morning, it was unfortunately my voice that boomed louder than everyone else as I was caught belting out every word. (Anecdotally, my vocal range and passion-filled performance struck EIC Matt – who attended the concert with his wife and daughters too – and he talked me into posting a portion of that excruciatingly long video on the Sentinel’s new Facebook page as a way to “make people like us.” So if you have any interest in listening to just how musically challenged I am, go to our Facebook and have a listen. Great. A bi-monthly column and public humiliation. I love my job. Now, where was I?) I’m not quite sure just who had the most fun at the show. Besides my nevershould-have-been-recorded sing-along, I observed all the other adults getting into it too. I caught Matt Mazza tapping his toe with a big grin on his face. His wife, Wendi, was on her feet for much of the set list. My husband even came home the very next day and started learning some of T. Swift’s tunes on the guitar. Have mercy. It isn’t easy to impress little children, tweens, teens and adults both young and old. Taylor accomplished that… and some. She sent our crew away with stars in our eyes and words of wisdom in our hearts. Besides a pair of extremely tight and short leather shorts, the entire pop production was quite innocent and appropriate. Our first family concert was a success. And hey, I suppose that I should consider myself lucky in light of recent events. At least Elli didn’t paint an “M” for Miley.

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ewing, knitting, decoupage. Painting, origami, beading. Knit Fit pretty much has any possible hands-on craft you can imagine, and will help you master the creative process. They have tons of knowledgeable and friendly staff members who will show you the tricks of the various trades and even facilitate all of your crafting needs for parties and celebrations. Go get crafty at Knit Fit. We do all the time. 320 West Carrillo Street; 963-2331; www.knitfit.org. Someday soon – maybe after crafting at Knit Fit – you really should take a trip on the Surfliner. You can ride to Carp or all the way to San Diego along the coast. Jump off in LA like we did at the historical Union Station and cruise around Olvera Street to see the oldest part of downtown Los Angeles. Check out www.amtrak.com and make it happen.

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WINE & DINE

SEPTEMBER 6 – 13 | 2013 |

weekend guide

• LOVE IS FREE What: Brazil Day Where: Brasil Arts Café, 1230 State Street When: Saturday, September 7, 12pm – 10pm Why: There will be live Brazilian music, culinary classes, dancing, soccer (or futbol) viewing and much more! How: Samba on over, Santa Barbara.

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Lucky You

by Eve Sommer-Belin

s if it wasn’t cool enough to see a building literally covered in pennies alone, the inside of that very same building actually holds delectable food, craft coffee and smiling faces. And hey, what else is there? Located in our vibrant Funk Zone, Lucky Penny brings La Colombe coffee (hailing from Philadelphia) to the scene and delicious fresh pizzas loaded with divine ingredients like heirloom tomatoes and burrata to enjoy in the picnic area or to take home. What’s that? Not in the mood for pizza? That’s fine. A variety of

What’ll It Cost Me: Free to attend!

• LOOSE CHANGE What: Shop Spree SB Where: Downtown Santa Barbara When: Friday, September 6 and Saturday, September 7 Why: It’s a weekend shopping festival full of in-store discounts, events, specials, fashion demonstrations and live entertainment. How: Get your shop on at over 60 local businesses! What’ll It Cost Me: It’s free to stroll State. Shopping will cost you.

• HEY BIG SPENDER

sandwiches and salads are available to tempt you as well. The small patio, dotted with succulents and fun antique bits like a bathtub and wall fountains with flowers, invites you to stay a while and gives you a chance to stare into The Lark’s kitchen next door where delicious things are always happening. Enjoy a macchiato with a fresh baked goodie or a glass of Lucky Penny wine with a salad or indulge with a pizza from their beautiful piping hot oven and a cold beer. As far as these chicks are concerned, it makes a lot of cents to go to Lucky Penny! We’ll definitely see you there.

GREEN SCENE Refill to You

by Courtney Dietz hy recycle when you can reuse? Don’t get us wrong, keeping as much as we can out of the landfill by recycling is important. But what if you reduced the amount you recycled by instead reusing, and refilling, your bottles? Even better! We know what you’re thinking because we’ve thought it too: Dragging bottles around and remembering to refill them can be such a hassle. That’s why we love Refill to You, which brings our laundry soap, shampoo, moisturizer, hand soap and more right to our door. Products (the list is long) are sold by the ounce and can be added to your existing containers or dropped off in a gently used bottle they will provide. Just in time for back to school and the onslaught of germs, Refill to You is offering a FREE 7-ounce hand sanitizer when you place an order of $15 or more during September, which just so happens to be Plastic Pollution Prevention Month. Order online at www.refilltoyou.com or by calling Kelley at (805) 626-0114, and help keep more plastic out of our landfills.

What: Fun. (with very special guests Tegan & Sarah) Where: Santa Barbara Bowl, 1122 North Milpas Street When: Saturday, September 7, 7pm Why: Some Nights you just gotta have fun. How: Carry On.

What’ll It Cost Me: $37.50 – $47.50

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REAL ESTATE by Michael Calcagno

Michael has consistently been ranked in the top 1% of Sotheby’s agents worldwide. Shortly after joining Sotheby’s, he partnered with Nancy Hamilton to form one of the most successful real estate teams in Santa Barbara. Michael can be reached at Michael@ HomesinSantaBarbara.com

Sales Were Hot In Fogust

espite the strange weather we had this August (actually it was very much like last year’s Fogust), and despite the fact that the weather was relatively cool, the real estate market was hot. August is typically a slower month of the year, with families traveling and gearing up for the start of school. So for parents that have dealt with the endless juggling of camps, play dates, summer programs and swim lessons: Take a breather; school has started…you made it!

621 East Sola Street

That being said, it seems that there have been quite a few people not only listing properties and looking at properties, but also closing on properties this month. Just in the past week, in the districts east and west of State Street and Hope Ranch, there were 38 new listings that hit the market, priced from $400,000 to $1,700,000. Out of those 38 listings 5 have gone pending and two have already closed escrow. Both closings were off market properties that sold before they hit the open market. In the same week there were 34 properties that went pending and 25 that closed escrow. It seems that the streak of high amounts of closed and pending properties with a short supply of new listings is still continuing week after week. I say it every week and I’ll say it again…get out there and start looking if you are in the market or nearing the time of getting into it, time is not on your side. Here are a few new listings for your reading pleasure:

Purchase price: $865,000 Down payment (20%): $173,000 Loan amount: $692,000 Loan payment: $3,455

(30 yr fixed rate at 4.375% (4.45% APR))

Total Monthly Payment: $4,347

Mortgage statistics provided by Justin M. Kellenberger, Senior Loan Officer at SG Premier Lending Group, Inc. Justin can always be reached at justin@sgpremierlending.com. Note: The foregoing economic breakdowns do not include potential tax benefit analyses since that will ultimately depend upon a number of additional factors. But home ownership can indeed have tremendous tax-savings potential and should be considered with your realtor and/or tax accountant as part of the ownership decision.

Mosquito Control

Purchase price: $999,900 Down payment (20%): $199,980 Loan amount: $799,920 Loan payment: $2,583 (7 yr fixed rate interest only 3.875% (3.92% APR)) Property taxes estimate: $916 Home insurance estimate: $100

Total Monthly Payment: $3,599

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Purchase price: $1,495,000 Down payment (20%): $299,000 Loan amount: $1,196,000 Loan payment: $3,488

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943 Calle Cortita

Property taxes estimate: $792 Home insurance estimate: $100

(5 yr fixed rate at 3.5% (3.58%APR)) Property taxes estimate: $1,370 Home insurance estimate: $125

Total Monthly Payment: $4,983

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OPEN HOUSE GUIDE

SEPTEMBER 6 – 13 | 2013 |

SUNDAY September 8

Downtown

18 West Victoria Street #212 12-5pm $2,500,000 2bd/3ba Alma Del Pueblo Sales Team 845-4393 Village Properties 618 Anacapa Street #7 2-4pm $1,695,000 2bd/2.5ba Dan Crawford 886-5764 Sotheby’s International Realty 2224 De La Vina 2-4pm $1,450,000 3bd/3ba Vivien Alexander 689-6683 Village Properties 18 West Victoria Street #304 12-5pm $1,350,000 1bd/2ba Alma Del Pueblo Sales Team 845-4393 Village Properties 18 West Victoria Street #307 12-5pm $1,250,000 1bd/2ba Alma Del Pueblo Sales Team 845-4393 Village Properties 18 West Victoria Street #111 12-5pm $875,000 0bd/1ba Alma Del Pueblo Sales Team 845-4393 Village Properties 319 West Pedregosa Street 1-4pm $799,000 2bd/2.5ba Bob Ratliffe 448-6642 Prudential California Realty 401 Chapala Street #108 11:30-4pm $750,000 1bd/1.5ba Michael Calcagno 896-0876 Sotheby’s International Realty 1719 Chino Street 1-3pm $735,000 2bd/2ba Jennifer Berger 451-5484 Sotheby’s International Realty 1518 San Pascual 1-4pm $699,000 4bd/2ba Jordan Robinson 451-3222 Sterling Properties 236 Por La Mar Circle By Appt. $595,000 1bd/1ba John Sirois 455-6277 Village Properties 2117 Castillo #D 2-4pm $485,000 1bd/1ba Marcella Simmons 680-9981 Village Properties 2012 Anacapa Street 2-4pm $2,195,000 4bd/3ba Angela Moloney Braverman 451-1553 Prudential California Realty 516 East Micheltorena Street 1-3pm $1,589,000 3bd/2ba Sandy Lipowski & Daniela Johnson 453-4555 Sotheby’s International Realty 411 East Padre Street 10-5pm $1,449,900 3bd/2.5ba Larry Martin 895-6872 Sotheby’s International Realty 504 East Arrellaga Street 1-4pm $1,395,000 3bd/3.5ba Cimme Eordanidis 722-8480 Village Properties 729 East Anapamu #B 2-4pm $1,349,000 3bd/2.5ba Carol Keller 689-8700 Village Properties 1430 Lou Dillon Lane 12-3pm $1,295,000 6bd/5.5ba Ricardo Munoz 895-8725 Prudential California Realty 23 Chase Drive 2-4pm $975,000 3bd/2ba Mark Goetz 895-9836 Coldwell Banker 400 East Pedregosa Street #I 2-4pm $850,000 2bd/2ba Stephanie Wilson & Ed Kaleugher 687-2157 Sotheby’s International Realty 15 East Islay Street #B 2-4pm $749,500 2bd/1ba Nick Svensson 895-2957 Sotheby’s International Realty 16 East Padre Street #9 2-4pm $639,000 2bd/2ba Ann Zafiratos 448-4317 Prudential California Realty 1409 Shoreline Drive 1-5pm $5,000,000 4bd/4ba Gene Archambault 455-1190 Sun Coast Real Estate 1927 Camino De La Luz 1-4pm $3,395,000 3bd/2ba Ken Switzer 680-4622 Prudential California Realty 2323 White Avenue 1-4pm $750,000 3bd/2ba Alexis Foth 448-6350 Prudential California Realty 955 W Carrillo Street 1-4pm $749,000 2bd/1ba Yolanda Van Wingerden 570-4965 Prudential California Realty 4650 Via Roblada 2-4pm $4,295,000 6bd/6ba Cara Gamberdella 680-3826 Village Properties 785 Carosam Road 2-4pm $2,850,000 5bd/4ba laura Johnson 252-3389 Village Properties 3963 Laguna Blanca 1-4pm $2,395,000 2bd/2ba Linda Lorenzen-Hughes 886-1842 Coldwell Banker 2620 Tallant Road 2-4pm $1,750,000 4bd/4.5ba Jan Dinmore Banister 455-1194 Prudential California Realty 4137 Hidden Oaks 2-4pm $1,695,000 5bd/3ba Jim Patterson 448-9244 Village Properties 3021 Hermosa Road 2-4pm $1,495,000 4bd/3.5ba Robert Heckes 637-0047 Sotheby’s International Realty 2209 Vista Del Campo 1-4pm $1,099,000 5bd/2ba Robert Watt 252-2190 Village Properties 550 Carriage Hill Lane 1-4pm $899,000 3bd/2.5ba Tracy Nelson 246-7288 Prudential California Realty 1224 Mission Canyon 2-5pm $1,850,000 3bd/2.5ba Lauren Temkin 403-5125 Coldwell Banker 1051 Palomino Road 1-3pm $1,049,000 3bd/2ba Arthur Kalayjian 455-1379 Sotheby’s International Realty 1850 East Las Tunas Road 2-4pm $3,425,000 3bd/2.5ba Tim Walsh 259-8808 Village Properties 1213 Viscaino Road 1-4pm $1,999,999 3bd/2ba Joyce Enright 570-1360 Prudential California Realty 10 Rincon Vista 2-4pm $1,995,000 4bd/3.5ba Wilson Quarre 879-8898 Sotheby’s International Realty 805 Via Granada 1-3pm $940,000 2bd/2ba Carla Reeves 689-7343 Village Properties 3310 Los Pinos Drive 2-4pm $1,895,000 5bd/4ba Marta Weeks 689-0410 Village Properties 3761 Lincoln Road 2-4pm $1,695,000 4bd/3.5ba Angelika Jones 895-7479 Sotheby’s International Realty 406 Lincolnwood Place By Appt. $1,599,000 4bd/3ba Susan Manzo 570-7274 Village Properties 3945 Stacy Lane 1-4pm $1,399,000 4bd/2.5ba John Comin 689-3078 Prudential California Realty 325 East Alamar Avenue 2-4pm $1,098,000 4bd/3ba Melissa Birch 689-2674 Sotheby’s International Realty 3879 Nathan Road 10-12pm $1,075,000 3bd/3ba Lynn Golden 570-5888 Village Properties 3888 Nathan Road 1-3pm $915,000 3bd/2.5ba Alan M. Chierici 680-0501 Prudential California Realty 218 Morada Lane 2-4pm $899,000 3bd/2ba Dana O’Neill 705-1605 Prudential California Realty 3080 Calle Madera 1-4pm $858,000 3bd/2ba Marcos Lazaro 637-9121 Village Properties 3639 San Pablo 1-4pm $850,000 3bd/1ba Scott Lewis 300-8887 Coldwell Banker 3617 San Remo Drive 1-3pm $799,500 3bd/2ba Bill Coker 689-7415 Coldwell Banker 3708 Greggory Way #2 1-4pm $749,000 3bd/3ba The Easters 455-6294 Prudential California Realty 2639 State Street #V1 1-4pm $599,000 2bd/2ba Linda Havlik 451-8020 Prudential California Realty 2821 Miradero Drive #B 2-4pm $549,000 2bd/1.5ba Suzanne Kaljian 455-6163 Sotheby’s International Realty

Eastside

Mesa

Hope Ranch Area

Mission Canyon Riviera

San Roque

KEY FEATURES Purchase financing for the Self Employed

SELF EMPLOYED? We have the loan for you!

The Bank Statement loan is designed for a buyer who has been self-employed for a minimum of 2 years. Example: If you have substancial deposits to your personal or business bank account, we can use that income to qualify. Tax Returns Not Required!

■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■

Owner occupied up to 4 units, 2nd home, and investment. Purchase, rate and term, and cash out refinance. Maximum loan-to-value 70%. Maximum debt-to-income 45%. No minimum loan amount and $3,500,000 maximum. Minimum credit score 720. 12 months personal or business bank statements. Personal use total deposits, business use net deposits. Cash reserves 12 months PITI owner occupied and 2nd home. Cash reserves 12 months total debt for investment. No Tax Return Required. Irrevocable Trust, Blind Trust, & LLC Vesting OK. Purchase or Refinance. Business Funds Allowed. Foreign Buyer OK.

Through our technology and experience we are funding loans quickly all over California.

GUARANTEE MORTGAGE 1736 State Street Santa Barbara, CA 93101 (805) 687-6282 www.gmwestsb.com

Licensed by the Department of Business Oversight under the California Residential Mortgage Lending Act. Loans will be arranged pursuant to the Department of Business Oversight California Finance Lenders Law License. Commercial and private lender loans are arranged under the Bureau of Real Estate, Department of Consumers Affairs. Guarantee Mortgage NMLS ID 2527 and BRE #01370741. Programs Subject To Change Without Notice.

New LiSTiNg nOTabLE OcEanfROnT ESTaTE | WEb: 0592563 | $32,000,000 Michael Calcagno 805.896.0876, Nancy Hamilton 805.451.4442

cuTTIng HORSE RancH | WEb: 0632146 | $20,000,000 Ron Dickman 805.689.3135

OcEan vIEW OppORTunITy | WEb: 0113662 | $9,750,000 Kathleen St James 805.705.0898

Local Expertise. Extraordinary Results.

New LiSTiNg

Sophisticated marketing. Talented sales professionals.

aRTfuL aRcHITEcTuRE | WEb: 0113738 | $7,950,000 Suzanne Perkins 805.895.2138

HISTORIc OjaI HacIEnda | WEb: 0592628 | $4,500,000 Jay Krautmann 805.451.4527, Darcie McKnight 805.637.7772

yOuR OWn cLub | WEb: 0113735 | $2,795,000 Harry Kolb 805.452.2500

EucaLypTuS HILL RETREaT | WEb: 0113733 | $2,595,000 Harry Kolb 805.452.2500

HEdgEROW SpanISH-STyLE | WEb: 0113731 | $2,490,000 Harry Kolb 805.452.2500

OcEan vIEW cOTTagES | WEb: 0592651 | $1,599,000 Nancy Hamilton 805.451.4442, Michael Calcagno 805.896.0876

LOvELy San ROquE cOTTagE | WEb: 0592647 | $1,465,000 Tiffany Doré 805.689.1052, Catherine O’Neill 805.886.7760

mOunTaIn vIEW HOmE | WEb: 0632082 | $949,000 Peggy Olcese 805.895.6757, Maureen McDermut 805.570.5545

SpacIOuS LuxuRy RESIdEncE | WEb: 0592597 | $750,000 Nancy Hamilton 805.451.4442, Michael Calcagno 805.896.0876

SanTa baRbaRa aREa bROkERagES | sothebyshomes.com mOnTEcITO cOaST vILLagE ROad bROkERagE | mOnTEcITO uppER vILLagE bROkERagE SanTa baRbaRa bROkERagE | SanTa ynEz vaLLEy bROkERagE Operated by Sotheby’s International Realty, Inc.