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POSITIVELY EAT STREET

by Matt Mazza

Welcome to the Ea(s)t Side

WE COULDN’T CARE LESS Hindu monastics SCHOOLED BY FATHER ABOUT DECIDING WHICH IS THE BEST; WITH FOOD CULTURE THIS OF resistance flexibility getARESULTs DELICIOUSLY EVERYONE WINS THAT EVEN AGNOSTICS MUSTDIVERSE, ACKNOWLEDGE 8 DAYS A WEEK PAGE 10

PRESIDIOSPORTS PAGE 16

VALLEY GIRL PAGE 36

t’s not lost on me that we’ve been writing about the Funk Zone a lot lately and, I think, with good reason. There is just a lot happening down there right now that is interesting for Santa Barbara. The truth is that there’s a whole new world for all of us to explore, and frankly it’s exciting. But that’s not to say that we haven’t been keeping our eyes and ears open for interesting stuff in other parts of town too. There’s much happening these days, dear readers, and I’m confident that we’ll get to all of it in due course. In fact, there’s been something in particular on my mind for a while now, something that I’ve been trying to figure out and put together in a way that expresses my enthusiasm in a single column. I think I worked it out this week, so here goes. Milpas. Milpas is exciting to me. It’s not so much any one individual location – although, I must admit, I am pretty damned happy about the Old Dairy and McConnell’s Fine Ice Cream anchoring the northern end of what is arguably our fair city’s second most recognizable north/south ...continued p.31

PLAN B PAGE 40

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SEPTEMBER 20 – 27 | 2013 |

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Join us for SBCO’s 2013-2014 season at the beautiful Music Academy of the West’s Hahn Hall!

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Content

COVER

Mazza’s Missive – It’s not all about the Funk Zone, folks. A Taste of Milpas is coming soon and you’d better get over to the “Eat Side” for some amazing grub and grog (and art and music and entertainment and philanthropy). See you there.

P.5

C ity Council Candidate Question of the Week – Get to know your City Council Candidates via the Sentinel’s weekly questions from now until Election Day. (What’s that? You didn’t know the election was coming? Well… now you do. Better bone up.)

P.6

I t’s Crime Time – The Crime Time writing crew is getting obnoxious and offensive. (Oh, wait, they’ve always been obnoxious and offensive. It’s just that EIC Matt finally appears to notice. Nice.)

P.7 P.8

Letters to the Editor – American Imperialism, Potty Talk, Planned Parenthood and Speed Metal. And Matt’s dad doesn’t know Jenny Schatzle. (He has a foul mouth too.)

P.9 P.10

T he Beer Guy – Zach Rosen eats pumpkin beer for dinner during the fall months. He has a light body and a little bitterness. Something like that.

T he Dish – Well hello again, Wendy Jenson, thanks for a terrific piece on Clay Holdren’s new place in Goleta, Smoke ‘N Barrel BBQ. (Sentinel field trip. Publisher Tim wants a shot at the Beast.)

Eight Days A Week – We told you last week, Jeremy, there are only seven days in a week. So stop with the whole Eight Days a Week thing already, it’s just not funny. Just give people the damned calendar entries.

P.12

Santa Barbara View – It’s officially Election Season: Sharon Byrne talks about candidates and the money they’ve raised; Loretta Redd cautions that our beautiful, wonderful city can be lost forever with a few bad councilmember decisions… so you’d better know who you’re voting for. Ray Estrada brings it home with his Business Beat.

P.14

In the Zone – Jeremy Harbin spends a few hours with the quite lovely Catherine Gee, Executive Director of The Arts Fund. Catherine has done and is doing a huge amount of interesting work down in the Funk Zone, and there’s a big party to celebrate all of it and The Arts Fund’s 30th Anniversary next week. See you there.

P.16

Presidio Sports – The Friendship Paddle is coming up in October and this year its focus is local wife/mother/lawyer/activist Tara Ford, who was diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer last November. (Hey Tara, fuck cancer.) Also, Frances Chase Dunn likes the new Nike Free HyperFeel and there are, once again, athletes of the week. Check it all out right here.

P.20 P.24

The Rant – This is the single funniest thing we’ve ever published. It’s about Trader Joe’s parking lots. Go read it.

In the Garden with Mr. Greenjeans – Orchids. We know you want to know how to make those damned plants you buy at Trader Joe’s (that’s twice in the table, wow) re-bloom. And Randy Arnowitz is gonna tell you.

Beethoven • Brahms

P.26 at

MAW Hahn Hall

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mUSICALLY eNGAGING eXPERIENCES What Makes It Great? Nov. 16, 2013 & Apr. 18, 2014

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Mad Science – Rachelle Oldmixon actually talks with someone who has done research in Antarctica… and now lives and studies climate change in Santa Barbara. (Come on, man, climate change is BS. There’s nothing out of the ordinar… oh, hang on, there’s an alarm going off and I’ve got to get down in my tornado shelter that I just equipped with a sump-pump for any tsunami high waters.)

P.27 P.36 P.38

Man About Town – Mark Léisuré just wants to dance. But there’s all sorts of entertainment-y stuff going on – not just dance – so go read the column. Valley Girl – Jana Mackin doesn’t like golf a whole hell of a lot, but she does like men who drink in bars. So The Rooney’s Golf League is right up her ally… er, ah, fairway.

Get Pumped – Jenny Schatzle not only wants you to eat healthier and work out, she wants to write stuff done. (You’re really pushing it this week, Schatzle. Seriously.) Faces of Santa Barbara – Patricia Clarke is back this week with John Kelley and Dennis Thompson, who apparently do quite a bit more than play poker. Better check it out to learn more.

P.40 P.41

Plan B – Briana Westmacott forgot her child at school. Neglect!

the Santa Barbara Skinny – LOVEmikana is gone. The Santa Barbara Skinny has replaced it, and seems to do an eerily similar thing. What the hell is going on here? (Kidding, the new look is terrific you guys, keep it coming and congratulations!)

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SEPTEMBER 20 – 27 | 2013 |

Welcome City Council Candidates: Bask In Local Beauty, But Remember Civic Duty M an, what a time to be in Santa Barbara. The tourists – God bless them, each and every one – have gone home for the most part, leaving us local folks with free reign over all that our beautiful, wonderful town has to offer. The weather is cooperating generously, as is often the case at this time of year, and we are spoiled. Rotten. The beaches are gorgeous, the trails are in good shape (a bit dry up in the front country now but still lovely) and the whole damned city is awash in warmth and sunlight. The sea is tepid. The sky is bright and blue (mostly). It’s a terrific time to get out and enjoy the place. So we say wake early tomorrow, go enjoy a lazy cup of coffee at your favorite shop and then spend some time just walking State and environs, for example, appreciating our architecture and aesthetic, smiling at and chatting up friends and neighbors, soaking up the Santa Barbara experience. Hit the beach. Go for a hike. Then pick a spot you love but haven’t hit for dinner for a while and get in there for a light white wine (rosé?) and a decent meal. You deserve it. You live here. Enjoy it. While you’re at it, take a moment and learn a little something about the city council election that is actually taking shape and coming soon (Tuesday, November 5, to be exact). It’s worth your time if you value our fair city and care about its general direction in the coming weeks, months, years, decades… you get the idea. We here at the Sentinel do indeed care, not just about the city and the election and the candidates but about you, our readers, as well. That’s why we’ve decided to ask a question per week of the candidates and publish their responses so that you can have a better idea, perhaps, of who stands for what, exactly, when the time comes to cast your hanging chad in six weeks or so. We started easy this week, keeping in mind that many of us don’t know all the candidates in any meaningful respect at this point and that, as we said at the outset, it’s so damned wonderful here in town right now that asking a difficult political question

out of the gates might be disorienting for all involved. With that said, we asked each candidate the following question: “Crisp blue skies, endless visibility, calm seas with a lazy breeze out of the west... in other words, it’s another beautiful Santa Barbara morning. In fact, let’s just say that it’s 10am on a Sunday, and your day is wide open. The world, as they say, is your oyster. So... what do you do? How do you spend that perfect Santa Barbara Sunday? Be specific and, perhaps most importantly, be yourself. We have plenty of time to get to the hard stuff (and we will), so have fun with this one. Break the ice.” We received answers from each and every candidate, and expect to see similar participation each week from now until Election Day. So keep checking back to see if your favorites place their feet firmly in their mouths (oh no!)… or whether someone you never considered voting for changes your mind (oh boy!). That’s what democracy in Santa Barbara is all about, baby.

LESLEY WISCOMB

y 10am on the perfect Santa Barbara Sunday morning, I’m either returning from a triathlon with my hubby and chief cheerleader, Scott, and ready to hit the shower to scrub off those black body markings, or I’m starting another challenging and fun agility class at MacKenzie Park with Gracie, our sixyear-old yellow lab. Either way, it’s a perfect Sunday morning! With coffee and an English muffin, it’s on to reading the newspaper. Boy, the day is flying by and it’s almost lunchtime! We’re ...continued p.33

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It'sCrimetime...

...with the SBPD

A variety of crimes are committed every day in Santa Barbara; most of these crimes are petty but they do offer a window into if not the soul of the perpetrator, at least his or her thought process. Our following (and totally unsolicited) thoughts, observations, and comments are put forth for your consideration.

Nothing Totally Out Of Ordinary On Mesa, Frankly

free-spirited 59-year-old local woman was found sleeping in a grassy field on the Mesa at 7pm one evening last week. When officers approached, they noticed a “moderate odor” of alcohol on her breath and a bit of unsteadiness on her feet. Hmmm… sounds like most good-natured, fun-loving people we know on the Mesa. In fact, we heard that at least one of the senior members of our “editorial staff” was up on the Mesa the very same night, and could testify to the fact that there were a few wonderful people in their late thirties and early forties with a “moderate odor” of alcohol on their breath and a touch of unsteadiness on their feet. So what gives? When SBPD searched the overwhelmingly likely homeless woman, they found an empty 375L bottle of vodka. Yeah… well, we guess it was more high-end foreign wine from Lazy Acres’ end caps and craft beers for the folks we know. (By the way, if you don’t know, there are some terrific wine deals in those end caps. Seriously.) Fortunately – for everyone but her, we suppose – she was the only person arrested for public intoxication that night on the Mesa. We doubt very much she was only the person who appeared in public while slightly intoxicated, though. (Editor’s Note: I felt the need to jump in here to ensure no confusion. We absolutely love the Mesa. It’s one of our favorite places to hang out, really. On a side note, can any of you write well? We’re looking for a contributor from your neck of the woods. Please let me know. And I will ensure no further Mesa bashing from the unruly bunch that writes Crime Time. Thanks. – MSM)

Northern California Lush Falls Asleep On State SBPD came across a 21-year-old man sleeping in the street on State at 11:20pm last

Publisher • Tim Buckley | Editor-in-Chief • Matt Mazza Design/Production • Trent Watanabe Contributing Partners Opinion • sbview.com | Sports • Presidiosports.com Santa Barbara Skinny • SantaBarbaraSkinny.com

Columnists

Valley Girl • Jana Mackin | She Has Her Hands Full • Mara Peters Plan B • Briana Westmacott | The Dish • Wendy Jenson Journal Jim • James Buckley | Real Estate • Michael Calcagno Commercial Corner • Austin Herlihy | The Weekly Capitalist • Jeff Harding Man About Town • Mark Leisure | In The Garden • Randy Arnowitz The Beer Guy • Zach Rosen | The Mindful Word • Diana M. Raab Girl About Town • Julie Bifano | In The Zone • Jeremy Harbin Mad Science • Rachelle Oldmixon | Keepin’ It Reel • Jim Luksic Pump It • Jenny Schatzle | Faces Of Santa Barbara • Patricia Clarke Photographer • Wendi Mazza

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CRIME TIME QUOTE OF THE WEEK “The car we opened was not a truck.” – An intoxicated 18-year-old criminal mastermind in response to some tough questioning by SBPD following a series of previously unresolved truck… er, ah, car burglaries. weekend. (That’s a little early for bedtime in the middle of a busy street, isn’t it?) He was initially unresponsive, then he couldn’t stand up or keep his balance without assistance. Tough questioning revealed that the man was visiting from Aptos (terrific mountain biking) after being born in Santa Cruz and had consumed a whopping five whole drinks over the course of the evening. In other words, he, like at least a few members of the “editorial staff” of the Sentinel, is a Norcal lush. (Oops, did we say that?) (Editor’s Note: Boy, the children are really pushing the envelope this time around. We don’t encourage binge drinking. Ever. Period. And I’m from Norcal, damnit, and I love Santa Cruz and mountain biking. Do I need to go find new writers for this pesky column? – MSM)

Flying The Friendly (Methed Out) Skies Airport security was conducting a routine scan of a passenger early one morning last week when the sensor detected contraband in a 53-year-old Santa Maria man’s front pocket. When asked, he pulled out a giant glass meth pipe and a bag of meth. (53 year olds do meth? Seems weird. It’s weird at any age when you think about it, but 53? Pull your act together dude.) SBPD quickly responded and arrested the guy. In a related story, we are never flying again. People are just too gnarly these days. (Editor’s Note: Here we go again. We love airlines and airports. People are wonderful. Methamphetamines are terrible and ruin lives. Anybody interested in trying their hand at this column? We’re suddenly looking for a new team of writers. – MSM)

Crime Time Quadruple Team Be ready. What you are about to read is patently ridiculous. One person, a 52-year-old homeless man was arrested for public intoxication four times in four days. We’re not sure if that’s funny under any circumstances, but here’s what went down. First, on September 13, he was picked up at around 11:20am after being discovered lying on State Street in a puddle of his own urine and generally unable to care for himself. Public intoxication. Then, on September 14, just before lunch, the same guy was found passed out in some bushes on Carrillo. He admitted to drinking “a couple pints” and consuming his regular medication, which warned against drinking booze due to an “intensified reaction.” That’s perhaps the understatement of the year. (Anecdotally, our experience is that such warnings often have the reverse effect, encouraging consumption rather than deterring it, and we would thus advocate getting rid of them entirely. Not really.) Public intoxication. He was picked up for the third time on September 15 at around 8:30pm, when he was transported from a local shelter to Cottage for severe intoxication and eventually arrested. (Guess.) Finally, on September 16, he was found “falling down and incoherent” at 1:20pm. Public intoxication. (To say the least.) There is much we might say here about our apparently inept social safety net, our collective social conscious, the man’s personal responsibility, the role of the police, the expenditure of tax dollars and lots of other things. But all we can come with is the following: Does anybody else find this as ludicrous as we do?

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SEPTEMBER 20 – 27 | 2013 |

Letters

Although you might not believe it, we actually want to hear from you. So if you have something you think we should know about or you see something we've said that you think is cretinous (or perspicacious, to be fair), then let us know. There's no limit on words or subject matter, so go ahead and let it rip to: Santa Barbara Sentinel, Letters to the Editor, 133 East De La Guerra Street, No. 182, Santa Barbara, California 93101. You can also leap into the 21st century and email us at letters@santabarbarasentinel.com.

American Imperialism?

att, thanks to you and Jeff Harding for This Time Is Different, We Swear in your September 20 issue of the Sentinel (Vol. 2, Issue 35). In answer to Jeff’s ultimate question, “So why do we do it?” I fear, but have no great database for support, that our great multi-national economy depends in large measure on the dirty work of the “American Imperium.” I imagine that it creates, feeds and protects huge worldwide markets, without which my stock investments and those of millions of others would be diminished. And so we do what we do with our huge multitiered “defense” budget as self-interested realpolitik. Research about this would make for an interesting book. Maybe there is one that I don’t know about. I am encouraged that President Obama, unlike someone like John McCain, brought the Syrian matter to Congress. Perhaps he has read Rachel Maddow’s book, Drift. I don’t yet believe that the American people are as a whole basically militaristic. Enterprising

and a bit chauvinistic, sure; tuned into marching bands on football fields, yeah. But generally more peace loving and not imperialistic by nature. Of course, that’s likely not how we appear to the survivors of our collateral damage. Please forward this e-mail to Jeff. Charles B. Hamilton Santa Barbara (Editor’s Note: Terrific letter, Charles, I enjoyed it and appreciate the thoughtful read and response. I know that you’ve asked me to send this on to Jeff, and I did (his response is below), but I can’t help add my unsolicited two cents. My gut reaction is that we do “it” (i.e., insert ourselves militaristically all over the globe) for a combination of political, social and economic (imperial?) reasons. In other words, there may well be some truth to your position but I don’t think that is the end of the story. And having spent at least some time living and traveling and studying overseas in my life, I whole-heartedly agree that we appear less peace loving and more ...continued p.22

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Owners Clay and Kristina Holdren, Chef Craig Baldi and Tessie Mason prepare Smoke ‘N Barrel BBQ for opening.

by Wendy Jenson

A former magazine editor, Wendy worked at Harper’s Bazaar, Glamour, and Us Weekly in NYC, before moving west with Santa Barbara Magazine. Currently a public relations consultant, she relishes being out and about working on this column. Photos by Wendy Jenson

Goleta BBQ Jensen Simon, Kristina Holdren and Rachel Faulkender present the Goleta Beast Sandwich; $18.95. If you finish the Beast in 30 minutes, the two-foot long hoagie is free.

Peach cobbler is served with vanilla ice cream; $5.95. Other sweet treats are Funnel Cake and Fried Twinkies; both $5.95.

few days prior to the opening of Smoke ‘N Barrel BBQ, bartender Eric Gaskill is taking on the restaurant’s Goleta Beast Sandwich; $18.95. If he or you finish the Beast in 30 minutes, the two-foot-long hoagie is free. A photo of the victor, now stuffed, goes up on the Wall of Fame. Clay Holdren (the man behind Smoke ‘N Barrel BBQ) wants to make sure the Beast can be finished. “It has to be an achievable feat, but it has to be earned,” he says. Chef Craig Baldi readies the sandwich, an oh-so-generous portion of pulled pork, pickled jalapeños, spicy BBQ sauce, slaw, and crispy onion strings. Fresh from a workout, eager volunteer Eric says he’s hungry. “This Beast is two feet two inches,” says Craig. “The bread is housemade so the sandwiches vary in size; the rolls may be over two feet, but they’ll never be under.” In the poetic words of Earnest Thayer composed in 1888: And somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children shout; But there is no joy in Mudville – mighty Casey/ Eric has struck out. Today… there are no additions to the Wall of Fame. Clay Holdren and Craig Baldi were much like Eric Gaskell when they first met in 2003. Single twenty-something guys in the restaurant business, working at Holdren’s Steak & Seafood on Lower State Street, Clay’s first restaurant. Clay branched out to Goleta in 2009, simultaneously opening Holdren’s and Pastavino, an Italian restaurant, in the Camino Real Marketplace. The two restaurants sit so close that they share a kitchen. Alas, Pastavino was not as successful as Clay would like, so he recreated the space, opening Smoke ‘N Barrel this September. First 6’2” Clay had to heal, having

Hush puppies are served with barbecue sauce for dipping; $2.99.

BBQ Chicken Salad is romaine lettuce with fried onions, avocado, tomato, chicken, cheddar cheese, corn and BBQ ranch dressing; $9.95

ruptured two disks in a doubles volleyball game at East Beach. Clay was laid up for six weeks, though his wife, Kristina Holdren, jokes that it “felt like six years.” The Holdrens have two boys, ages six and seven, who Clay coaches in flag football, basketball and baseball. Chrome-headed chef Baldi is now married with children, too. He has two girls, ages one and three, and a 13-yearold stepson. The dad is in the painful process of having some of his hand tattoos removed. A graduate of New England Culinary Institute in Montpelier, Vermont, he just moved back to Santa Barbara from L.A. Smoke ‘N Barrel is a family barbecue restaurant with TVs playing sports. “We have a smoker in the kitchen for brisket, tri-tip, pulled pork, chicken and baby back ribs,” says Clay. Housemade dry rub is used on the ribs, and three types of sauces are available: Traditional Hickory, Sweet Molasses, and Spicy Mustard. “We’ve also put in a cool salad bar with lots of different options,” adds Clay, who believes his is the only salad bar in Goleta. Five lettuces are on offer, including cabbage for Asian salads. Tortilla strips and black beans are provided for making

½ Rack of Baby Back Ribs is served with one side dish and garlic bread or corn bread; $12.95.

Smoke ‘N Barrel Tea, a mix of sweet tea, vodka and lemonade, is one of six signature cocktails; $6.95.

Southwest salads. Candied walnuts add a sweet touch. One Trip to the Salad Bar is $5.95, and All U Can Eat is $9.95. A Trip to the Salad Bar can be added to any entrée for $3.95. Sandwiches are named after local spots, and come with one side dish: The Sandspit is smoked kielbasa topped with grilled onions and peppers, mayo and mustard; $7.95. The Goodland is a garden burger patty with lettuce, tomato, avocado, and cucumber on a brioche roll; $8.95. Sides can be ordered a la carte: French Fries, Cornbread, Baked Beans, Mac & Cheese and Potato Salad are all $2.99. Panko Japanese breadcrumbs coat the Onion Rings, also $2.99. There’s a kids menu for those 12 and under. Mac & Cheese, Cheeseburger, Grilled Cheese, and Chicken Tenders are all $4.95, and come with fries and a soft drink. The attractive decor pays homage to Southern BBQ shacks with checkered

tablecloths and paper towels. “It’s the type of place where you eat some ribs and get messy,” says Clay. Aluminum siding covers the huge U-shaped bar, which seats 16. Cocktails come in limited edition bleu Mason Jars. Smoke ‘N Barrel’s Tessie Mason (née Wilcox) became an expert on the same-named jars, after looking into their history for her wedding reception. The pint-sized, vintage-inspired blue jars commemorate the 100th Anniversary of the Ball brothers’ Mason Jar. Happy Hour is every day from 3 to 6:30pm. Vodka, bourbon, gin and rum Well Drinks are $3; Margaritas, $3.50; and Smoke ‘N Barrel Iced Tea, $4. One Lb. of Wings, Build Your Own Sliders, Pulled Pork and Brisket Nachos can all be had for $5. Smoke ‘N Barrel BBQ is located at 6920 Market Place Drive, near the McDonald’s at Hollister Ave. and Storke Rd. Open daily from 11:30am till 9pm, except for Sundays when breakfast starts at 9am; smokenbarrel.com; 805-6857300. The patio is within earshot of a rushing fountain. Like waitstaff, I eagerly await tips. If you have any restaurant information, please contact me at wendy@ santabarbarasentinel.com.

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SEPTEMBER 20 – 27 | 2013 |

by Zach Rosen

little monotonous and over-spiced. Here are a few examples that venture away from the norm.

Pumpkick

Zach-o’-Lantern The Beer Guy’s fall lineup. (Dinner is served!)

Zach Rosen is a Certified Cicerone® and beer educator living in Santa Barbara. He uses his background in chemical engineering and the arts to seek out abstract expressions of beer and discover how beer pairs with life.

Although pumpkin is my favorite food (seriously), I have to admit that beers brewed with it tend to be a

ith the Fall Equinox coming up this Sunday, I want to tell myself that I can feel the season in the air, even if the heat over the past few weeks tells me otherwise. Fall always means one thing in the beer world. Well, yeah okay, Oktoberfest. But it also marks one other important time of the year. Pumpkin ales. Pumpkins (and other squashes) are native to North America, which means that related ales are a true American tradition. Modern-day pumpkin beers were revitalized by Buffalo Bill’s Brewery, founded in 1983 by Bill Owens. This was California’s second brewpub and one of the pioneers of the craft beer movement. Bill found a book with notes and a recipe by George Washington, an avid homebrewer, on the use of pumpkin as a supplemental sugar in LIVE MUSIC beer and decided to create his own MC-PHAT J interpretation of that early style. THE CAVERNS Bill grew the pumpkins himself OMAR VELASCO and then sliced and baked them. TODD HANNIGAN He added the roasted pumpkin PAUL CHESNE BAND chunks during the brewing process KINSELLA BAND but noticed that their character did DJ DYL CHOICE not really come through in the finished beer. That gave him the idea to add a self-made pumpkin spice extract to the beer, and that is when he saw the flavors come together. A lot has happened since that initial brew. Now pumpkin beers line the shelves during fall and there are even pumpkin beer festivals. Bill no longer owns the brewery but his Pumpkin Ale still exists and represents a good baseline for the style. It is semisweet with a light body and little bitterness. The beer has a hint of starchy pumpkin with the traditional spices that flavor the pie providing most of the beer’s character.

FUNK ZONE BLOCK PARTY

Pumpkick is New Belgium’s latest fall seasonal and uses pumpkin “juice” instead of the more common purée. This gives the beer a crystal clear orange-gold glow (of course filtration helps the clarity). The pumpkin, cinnamon, nutmeg and allspice in this beer definitely give it that classic “pumpkin pie” character, but the addition of cranberry juice and lemongrass is a twist on tradition and provides Pumpkick’s “kick.” These two ingredients ...continued p.18

Visit our main production facility and taproom at:

45 Industrial Way Buellton, CA 93427 (805) 694-2252

Or if you’re in Santa Barbara, visit our new tasting room in the Funk Zone at: 137 Anacapa St., Suite F, Santa Barbara, CA 93101 (805) 694-2255

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8•Days• a•Week We Ain’t Got Nothin’ But Love, Babe…

by Jeremy Harbin

Want to be a part of Eight Days A Week?

Space is limited, but if you have an event, exhibit, performance, book signing, sale, opening, trunk show or anything else interesting or creative that readers can attend, let us know at 805-845-1673 or email us at tim@santabarbarasentinel.com. We’ll consider all suggestions, but we will give extra consideration to unusual events and/or items, especially those accompanied by a good visual, particularly those that have yet to be published.

Friday

Monday

Avelina on Anacapa

Kidding Around

September 20

September 23

The Anacapa Project – that’s the development in the Funk Zone that includes The Lark, Figueroa Mountain and last week’s Sentinel cover star Guitar Bar – gets a new addition today with the Avelina Wine Co.’s grand opening. Christian Garvin, who previously opened Oreana down the street, is the man behind the new winery and tasting room. He’ll be there tonight with his Italian varietals on hand. While he plans to have jazz groups play on Fridays, tonight’s entertainment, Spencer the Gardener, is a little more rock ‘n’ roll. This free event starts at 6pm.

Saturday September 21 Killer Talent

Sentinel readers should already be familiar with Killer Shrimp (the restaurant) and their Killer Shrimp (the dish). Wendy Jenson profiled the downtown purveyors of surf and turf back when they opened, and we’ve even spotlighted special deals here in 8 Days. But if you’re still waiting to try it out, maybe the band they have booked for tonight will get you down there. The group is called the Johnny/James Affect, and it features members that have played with the likes of Buffalo Springfield, Howlin’ Wolf, Buddy Miles and Billy Idol. The music starts up at 9pm. Find Killer Shrimp at 416 State Street.

Get Ripped

There’s a new addition to the Urban Gym Trail down in Santa Barbara’s funkiest neighborhood: Bayside Barbell. For the grand opening, they’re presenting a seminar that features two top strength coaches, Brian Carroll and Julia Ladewski. Attendees will not only learn about a range of topics like injury prevention, strength training and nutrition, but will also participate in coaching sessions. Breakfast and lunch will be provided. It all begins at 9am and ends at 4pm. It costs $229; those reading this paper while it’s still warm from the presses can get in at a discounted “early bird” rate. Go to www.baysidebarbellsb.eventbrite.com to buy tickets. Bayside Barbell is located at 224 Helena Avenue, right behind Seven Bar & Kitchen.

Sunday

There’s a lot to do on State Street. You can shop, eat, drink, look at art or see a movie. But here’s a new one for that list: watch teenagers do standup comedy. Coached by writer-performer Louise “Weezy” Palanker, a group of young comics will joke, jest and josh over at Granada Books (1224 State Street) this evening from 6 to 7:30pm. It’s free. Sponsored by the Jewish Federation of Greater Santa Barbara, the Jewish Community Center Teen Comedy Club meets weekly. For more information, call 805.957.1115.

Tuesday September 24

The Art of Bad Comparisons

Today seems like a good day to stop by Sullivan Goss – An American Gallery at 7 East Anapamu Street if you’ve not yet seen Nicole Strasburg: New Terrain. The exhibit, which opened earlier this month, finds Strasburg turning her ocean-loving paintbrush toward the woods. Now, if she’s anything like Stephen Strasburg, she’s a formidable talent, but needs Tommy John surgery (we’re two years behind on MLB news; been busy calendaring). Sullivan Goss is open every day from 10am to 5:30pm.

Wednesday September 25

September 22

What Does Beer Taste Like?

Cars for a Cause

If you like cars (like one literally life-saving neighbor who told this Sentinel calendar writer he needs to either get new tires or prepare to die. Thank you, Derek.), then go to today’s Coast Village Classic Car Show on the 1100 to 1200 blocks of Coast Village Road in Montecito today from 8am to 3pm. The show is free and the event benefits Special Olympics Santa Barbara. Go for the selection from Michael Hammer’s collection, stay for the trophy presentation.

1431 San Andres Street

Do you enjoy an adult beverage? A tangy, misty, chewy beer is… wait, what am I saying? A beer that’s hopeful, obnoxious, absorbent… Ugh! Why is this so hard?! Last try, here goes: Beer is cantankerous, mellifluous… I JUST CAN’T DO IT! I guess only Zach Rosen can describe beer around here (it’s a lot harder than you might think). Go to Fig Mountain today for Charity Tap Handle Day. Proceeds benefit the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society’s Team in Training. 137 Anacapa Street.

Thursday September 26 Photo Contest

One week ago, the Time for Happy Photo Contest started. It ends October 14. Presented by the Montecito-based company Get Happy Zone, Inc., this national contest seeks photos of you “in your happy zone.” You can submit entries to www.facebook.com/gethappyzone. The winner will receive two wristwatches that say “Choose Happiness.” Get more information at www.gethappyzone.com or by emailing gethappyzone@gmail.com.

Friday

BoHenry’s www.bohenry.com

September 27 Three Films

The Alliance for Living and Dying Well presents installments of its annual free film series this evening with 2011’s French film The Hedgehog (I gotta read subtitles?!). The series started last Friday with Quartet and will end on October 4 with The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel. The movies screen in the Unitarian Society Parish Hall (1535 Santa Barbara Street) at 7pm.

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Santa Barbara’s Online Magazine, Published Twice Daily

sbview.com

City Council Race 2013: Who’s Behind The Candidates? by Sharon Byrne

oney in elections is not the sole indicator of who wins, but it is a big

one. There are 43,300 registered voters in our city. If every registered voter gave $25 to one top desired candidate, and no one outside the city was allowed to contribute money, we’d be looking at over $1,000,000 in campaign financing for a city council election. That’s a lot of money for a city this size, but the playing field would be very level, because no one could dominate financially, unless groups organized to pool their $25 contributions behind a particular candidate. Contributions would also be exactly reflective of the popular vote because the candidate with the most $25 contributions would also be the candidate that presumably got the most votes. In the U.S., campaigns have learned all too well from the corporate sphere that level playing fields are precisely what they don’t want. Just as in business, where winning market share is decidedly NOT about having the best product but rather the best marketing, campaigns market their candidates aggressively, which requires image-building and advertising. Dominating the airwaves and mailboxes is the goal. So elections are less about great ideas or the best candidates for the job. They’re about the best marketing strategy to ensure maximum penetration across the voting “market.” Therefore it’s important to understand who is backing a candidate, who is shifting the playing field in their favor. A campaign stacked with large contributions means a few influencers are pushing that candidate, and they intend to get their agenda served by the candidate’s election. In contrast, a candidate funded primarily by small donations indicates broader voter support.

Hypothetical Example:

andidates A and B each have fundraising totals of $1,000. Candidate A received 50 donations of $20. Candidate B received one donation of $1,000. It’s hard to see

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how a single donor could hold sway over Candidate A, because everyone gave $20. In contrast, Candidate B, if elected, will be quite beholden to the one large donor that funded their campaign. It’s great to support your candidates by writing a small check to their campaign, but you certainly won’t own them, and that’s how it should work. City council seats cost $80,000+ these days, so large donors are key to raising funds quickly, and thus can exert influence over the candidate. The following website has been compiled by looking at the campaign finance reports filed through 9/6/13 with the city’s elections portal (free public access): static.netfile.com/agency/csb/ It’s early, so things can change. We’ll look again in October and right before the election.

Bendy White

Monetary Contributions: $40,660 Loans from self: $0 Non-monetary (In-kind): $0 Total raised: $40,660 Total from large donors: $12,000 Percentage of monetary contribution from large donors: 29%

Frank Hotchkiss

Monetary Contributions: $37,772 Loans from self: $0 Non-monetary (In-kind): $0 Total raised: $37,772 Total from large donors: $16,456 Percentage of monetary contribution from large donors: 44% If Chuck’s is mischaracterized, 33%

David Landecker

Monetary Contributions: $36,275 Loans from self: $0 Non-monetary (In-kind): $557 Total raised: $37,832 Total from large donors: $28,650 Percentage of monetary contribution from large donors: 79%

Greg Hart

Monetary Contributions: $20,547 Loans from self: $10,000 Non-monetary (In-kind): $5,600 Total raised: $36,147 Total from large donors: $13,500 Percentage of monetary contribution from large donors: 65.7%

Lesley Wiscomb

Monetary Contributions: $18,034 Loans from self: $1,600 Non-Monetary (In-kind): $0 Total raised: $19,634 Total from large donors: $6,000

Sharon Byrne

Sharon Byrne is executive director for the Milpas Community Association, and currently serves on the Advisory Boards for the Salvation Army Hospitality House and Santa Barbara County Alcohol and Drug Problems.

sbview.com ercentage of monetary contribution P from large donors: 33%

Megan Alley

Monetary Contributions: $13,297 Loans from self: $2,000 Non-Monetary (In-kind): $2,127 Total raised: $17,424 Total from large donors: $7,000 Percentage of monetary contribution from large donors: 53%

Michael Jordan

Monetary Contributions: $6,709 Loans from self: $4,000 Non-monetary (In-kind): $0 Total raised: $10,709 Total from large donors: $ 1,500 Percentage of monetary contribution from large donors: 22%

Jason Nelson

Monetary Contributions: $9,145 Loans from self: $0 Non-monetary (In-kind): $0 Total raised: $9,145 Total from large donors: $4,250 Percentage of monetary contribution from large donors: 46%

Building A Council by Loretta Redd

Loretta Redd’s diverse background includes being a psychologist, business owner, non-profit director, Air Force officer, writer, speaker, and executive coach. Loretta has served on several Santa Barbara city committees and has been a candidate for public office.

efore you know it, the race for City Council will have ended with you, the voters, determining the composition of our Municipal representation. Hopefully, your decision will be based on more than which yard signs were most prolific as you drove to the post office or polling place, or whose campaign party had served the best wine and hors d’oeuvres. For those of you who think this election doesn’t matter enough to bother to vote, I warn you that you’re about to be thrust into the construction business. And what you build in the way of Council representation will have to withstand the next tsunami... not necessarily a wall of water, but rather a tidal wave of potential development. And so you, as an architect of the look and feel of our city, will determine who the three representatives are that must either

Loretta Redd

sbview.com

protect the safety, look and livability of our town or allow it to be fashioned into a very different place. We throw around the term “affordable housing” as if we actually believe it is possible to make even a dent in the number of daily commuters coming to and through Santa Barbara. We tell ourselves that we should sacrifice the low density zonings so that local workers will have a place to live, and that growth in population is not going to impact our natural resources or traffic or crime, as long as it’s “smart growth” or there are rooftop gardens and “green” construction materials. The economic recovery is swinging back into high gear, and the developers know it. We’re back to the same mindset where a zero bedroom unit in a trendy complex with on-site wine storage and bicycle racks lists for almost a million dollars. But here’s what has changed: The developers have wised up to what it takes to get a project through the planning department, the committee hearings and, ultimately, in front of the City Council members you’ve just helped to elect. They hire local residents as land-use experts, and use prior Planning Department employees as consultants because know their way through the maze and around those pesky commissioners. The Council members you elect will need to have a certain gravitas to not only know the difference between smart growth and slow growth, but be willing to cast votes contrary to the beliefs of groups who may have helped elect them. They will have to tattoo on their forearms: “higher density = higher land cost = less affordability.” They’ll have to remind themselves during the protests by COAST and other alternative transportation activists that most of those folks walking or rolling down a closed section of Cabrillo, or during the night ride on First Thursday, also own cars. As for bus riders, we can barely afford the MTD services we currently provide, so I suppose we need more people without cars waiting at the bus stop for hours on a weekend night? Our real estate recovery means this council will have to once again face the financial reality of a shrinking economic diversity in a city of great desirability; ironically because Santa Barbara is so different from the other coastal towns where zoning laws and height limits and building ratios and set

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backs have all but disappeared. Issues like these will come before Council, because they will ultimately be appealed up the chain of attorneys representing those living next to, or within viewing distance of, future Taj Majal monstrosities. Housing elements and development pressures aren’t the only issues on which to base your vote. But it is a real example of how the composition of City Council will in fact, affect the look, feel and cost of where you live. Greater population requires infrastructure and natural resources, and regardless of how permeable the parking lot surfaces, or how many solar panels we install, population growth never pays for itself. Whether development comes disguised as the ‘feel good’ mother of affordable or workforce housing, or it’s really designed for second home owners or even Oprah Winfrey wannabes, it comes at a cost and only your City Council can slow it down. I asked the current City Council to help me enlighten you, the voters, by suggesting a job description for the position of Councilmember based on their experience. I received some much appreciated, thoughtful and telling responses with three consistencies among them: 1. It is a lot of work, requiring a lot of time to not only read reports and study information, but also to attend

by Ray Estrada

Ray Estrada is a writer, editor and media consultant who has worked for newspapers, radio news, wire services and online publications for the past 40 years. He has taught journalism at the University of Southern California and now runs his own consulting business based in Santa Barbara.

sbview.com

to issues outside of the public hearings, like meeting with groups, constituents, going to events and responding to mountains of emails. You shouldn’t be electing a part-time representative, because it is more than an 8-5 Monday through Friday job. 2. Most of the tough decisions, especially the closed session ones, involve financial impact and budgetary considerations. Philosophical stances and altruism may define good intentions, but money will set the limits for any program or improvement and monetary management is the bedrock of good government. 3. It takes a tough hide to stand up to critics, to disagree with staff or to reach unpopular decisions with those who may have backed your election or live next door. Your critics are unavoidable because they go to your church, attend the same school and shop at the local grocery store.

When you select your candidates, do so with that job description in mind and with the knowledge that the Santa Barbara we all work in, struggle for or are just blessed to call “home,” can be lost forever to future generations with a few bad decisions based on greed rather than governance.

Business Beat by Ray Estrada

‘Quantified Self’ Panel Explores Monitoring Personal Data

A presentation titled “Exploring the Quantified Self ” drew about 25 people to Santa Barbara’s University Club September 12 to hear a discussion of devices and methods that collect data by monitoring one’s personal behavior. Organizers of the event said about 70 percent of Americans already monitor their behavior even if they don’t know it. Every time someone steps on the bathroom scale, they are doing this. But the devices and methods discussed go far beyond weight scales. “Self Knowledge Through Numbers” is the slogan of the Quantitative Self group. A panel of speakers said if someone sets a goal with the personal behavioral data, the information can be used to improve one’s quality of life. The data ranges from what

SEPTEMBER 20 – 27 | 2013 |

someone eats and drinks to what type of exercise one does or even what type of interpersonal relationships one has. Speaker Luca Foschini demonstrated a product that monitored his heart rate and other bodily functions while displaying them in a hand-held device and on a projector screen. Foschini has a doctorate from UCSB in computer science and is the founder of a company called AchieveMint, which “incentivizes healthy behavior.” Another speaker, DJ Wetmore, talked about using personal data to find insights into psychological well-being. He said self-tracking can help humans improve their decisions while enhancing selfawareness of well-being and relationships. Wetmore is co-founder of a South Coast start-up company called SelfEcho. Another speaker, Josh Gold, founder of Zonascope, discussed a gaming program that can figure out when someone is most productive. Gold said he looks at the psychophysiology of what he calls “flow states” that determine the link between the body and brain when someone is at their top performance. He is a doctoral candidate at Swinburne University in Melbourne, Australia. The organizer of the meet-up, Bob Kryczko, said other similar discussions have taken place previously, but they drew smaller groups. He said more similar events would be announced in the future.

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INtheZONE with Jeremy Harbin

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Arts Fund In Black & White

The Arts Fund Executive Director Catherine Gee stops by Friday Art Walk collaborator MichaelKate Interiors and Art Gallery.

iscounting a little CNN that might be on while she cooks, Catherine Gee doesn’t watch television. She writes grants instead. And finds donors. And curates exhibitions. She oversees a teen arts program from the application process to the graduation ceremony. She writes press releases for openings and she maintains a website. When she’s not doing any of those things, she draws portraits. Or she writes fiction. She’s impressive, passionate, creative, and as the Executive Director of The Arts Fund, she’s at the center of the evolving Funk Zone.

Cause and Effect The Arts Fund, like its neighborhood, has changed. Sitting outside Metropulos, a favorite Funk Zone spot of Catherine’s that is just across the street from The Arts Fund Gallery where she works, the ambitious director discusses her organization over the sound of trucks barreling down Yanonali. “So that was half of our year devoted to the Individual Artist Award winners,” says Catherine.

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She’s explaining the non-profit’s long running program and the reasons it was recently replaced. “Since I’ve been at The Arts Fund – I’ve been with The Arts Fund for now two and a half years – I’ve definitely watched an increase in activity, volume and interest in the area, not just for the arts, but for everything, development-wise. And we recognized the need to show more artists.” That internal conversation among Catherine’s we – herself, an assistant director and a board of trustees – coincided with a study funded by the Santa Barbara Foundation that examined the artist population in the Funk Zone, their needs and their fears. Among its many findings was the unsurprising conclusion that area artists want more places to show their work. “So right when we were reevaluating the Individual Artist Award, we took that into consideration,” Catherine says of the study, “but we also took into consideration voices from the community, artists from the community talking to us, asking, ‘how are we able to show in The Arts Fund?’” And so, having seen the neighborhood Say goodbye to summer at Corks n’ Crowns with an Evening of Rosé and Barbecue! Enjoy a selection of rosé by the ﬂight, by the glass, and by the bottle, complemented with barbecue dishes presented by Blaze ‘n Blues.

Friday, September 27th • 6-8pm

Corks n’ Crowns Tasting Room and Wine Shop

32 Anacapa Street in the heart of Santa Barbara's Funk Zone Hours: Monday-Sunday 11am-7pm

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growth, read the report and heard the people, The Arts Fund folks reacted to their changing milieu and instituted the Community Gallery program. Under the focus-shifting initiative, any artist or curator can submit ideas for exhibitions; Catherine and a committee decide which proposals will eventually be realized. The new paradigm not only increases the number of artists The Fund can show and support, but focuses on the local scene – often very local. Two shows from late last year, The Zone 2D and The Zone 3D, required that the featured artists work in the Funk Zone. “We’re trying to keep in mind the broader community,” Catherine says, “but also really honing in on this community we have down here and focusing on that.” Keep in mind that the Community Gallery, which has a different show opening about every six weeks, isn’t the only Arts Fund program Catherine’s charged to administer. She’s particularly enthusiastic about the organization’s other major focus, the Teen Arts Mentorship. “Our mentorship program is why I’m with The Arts Fund,” she says. Consisting of two units each year that pair small groups of students with a professional working artist, the mentorships aren’t going the way of the Individual Artist Award anytime soon: “It’s become a huge need as a lot of art classes have been slashed in public schools,” explains Catherine. “I really love the energy of the funk zone – I love the gallery – but for me the mentorship program is paramount.”

Time to Celebrate On Sunday, September 29, Catherine, her minuscule staff and the board will pause briefly to celebrate three decades of existence; that is, if you could consider an expanded opening reception that doubles as a fundraiser any sort of break. “We were speaking to some of the artists months ago and there was this idea of a black and white show,” Catherine says, “and in the back of my mind I was trying to think about how we could celebrate our thirtieth anniversary and I thought, ‘what better way than to in tandem have a

SEPTEMBER 20 – 27 | 2013 |

This untitled piece by Richard Aber will be on display in the Formal Affair exhibition at The Arts Fund Gallery.

celebration and exhibition opening along with a party and a fundraiser?’” Called A Formal Affair: Art-Making in Black & White, the event, which will take place in The Arts Fund Gallery at 205C Santa Barbara Street, will start at 6pm and go until 9. During that time, those who made their twenty dollar donation to get in (tickets can be purchased in advance at www.artsfundsb.org) will be treated to live jazz as the evening begins, more live music from local rock band Ghost Tiger, both silent and live auctions and contributions from event partners like Events Unlimited and Avelina Wine Co. Co-curated by Catherine and Arts Fund board member Nancy Gifford, the show will feature works by local artists Richard Aber, Tony Askew, Austin Danson, Joan Rosenberg-Dent and Peggy Ferris. “It’s going to be a feast for the senses in that it seems simple – black and white works – but the actual distinction between each artist and their forms is so different,” says Catherine, “Some of them are very delicate but a lot are really bold. There’s a lot of texturing and layering to the work. It’ll be a very, very good show.” ...continued p.28

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Tara Ford Has Friendship Paddle In Her Corner by Barry Punzal

s a respected defense attorney in Santa Barbara, Tara HaalandFord fights hard for her clients in the courtroom. But for the last 10 months, Ford has been engaged in a fight more intense than any court case – she’s in a fight for her life. Last November, she was diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer. She’s 40, a wife and a mother of two girls, ages eight and six. With all that, Tara is taking on this fight as fiercely as proving the innocence of a defendant. She’s had one surgery, where doctors removed eight inches of her colon; she’s undergone aggressive chemotherapy and is now preparing herself for a second surgery on Sept. 25. Coming in to offer emotional support and raise money for the Ford family is the group known as The Friendship Paddle. The local non-profit organization has planned a fundraising and spirit-lifting ocean paddle for Tara on Oct. 18-19. The paddle will start at Santa Cruz Island and finish at the Santa Barbara Yacht Club beach. For the month of September, Scarlett Begonia restaurant, through a promotion with Centralcoastdining.com, is donating 10 percent of its proceeds from a special dinner package to the Tara Haaland-Ford Friendship Paddle. Scarlett Begonia, located in Victoria Court, is owned by Tara’s college roommate and friend, Crista Fooks. She was the maid of honor at her wedding. Tara is determined to participate in the Friendship Paddle. “I have surgery on the 25th, and my hope is to paddle,” she said. “My goal is to start the paddle and finish the paddle in some capacity.” “She’s so determined, she’s crazy,” said her husband, Jon, a 12-year veteran of the County of Santa Barbara Fire Department. The Friendship Paddle is a fitting event for the Fords. They’re both active in water sports. Tara is a former swimmer at UCSB and Jon is a former State Lifeguard. Their children, Madison, 8, and Lucy, 6, love being in the water. “It’s a great organization,” said Jon. “It’s incorporating the Santa Barbara lifestyle.” Jon participated in a friendship paddle two years ago for Mike Moses, a captain with Santa Barbara City Fire Department and a longtime L.A. County lifeguard.

Tara and her family: husband Jon, a Santa Barbara County firefighter, and their children, Madison, 8, and Lucy, 6.

Tara undergoes chemotherapy at the Santa Barbara Cancer Center. She is battling stage IV colon cancer.

The response for Tara’s friendship paddle has been tremendous. “I have a friend who quit smoking because he wants to do this friendship paddle,” Jon said. “I have another friend who had spent no time in the water – she’d never even been in the water – and she wants to do the friendship paddle. She’s paddling every day. When her husband comes home and asks her to make dinner, she says, ‘No, I’m paddling.’ “All these other people are putting in extra time. They want to be part of something. That’s how bitchin’ it is.” Tara is overwhelmed by the response. “It’s hard to put into words,” she said. “The overwhelming support my family and I are receiving is unbelievable, not just from the friendship paddle but from the Santa Barbara community, the legal community, the Washington Elementary community.” Her two girls attend Washington Elementary on the Mesa. “I can’t say enough about the guys who started the friendship paddle,” she continued. “They found someone they can really connect with. I’m gaining a whole other support system on my cancer journey. You’re gaining new friends. We can just pick up the phone and say we need some help, and they’d be over to our house. It’s pretty amazing.” Besides the standard medical treatments for the cancer (surgery, chemotherapy), Tara has explored alternative methods like taking herbs, doing Reiki, meditation and

working with a healer. “I’m going to take this on,” she said. “I’m open to any and all suggestions for diet and alternative remedies. I’m not shutting out the western side, but I’m really embracing the eastern side of it because I think that’s a huge part in not only getting rid of the cancer right now but not having it come back down the line. “I’ve got too much to lose,” she added. “I have two little girls, six and eight. It’s a little work; it’s like a job, but how could you not do it. Life to me is so amazing; there’re so many things to do and people to help and things to see.” Jon is impressed with Tara’s will and determination. “She’s such a go-getter,” he said. “I have to read her blog to find out what’s going on with her sometimes.” Tara describes her journey and shares her thoughts in a no-holds barred blog called www.tarasaysfuckcancer.com or TSFC. She admits there have been times she’s felt the anxiety and depression over her situation. “I say, ‘Whoa, it’s a lot of work.’ For some, it’s too much work and pain to go through.” But Tara is not about to give in. She’s doing whatever it takes to win. “It’s like a case,” says Jon. “The doctors are on deposition, and if there’s any suspected evidence other than the truth, she strikes it down like a defense lawyer would. She’s an amazing woman.” Tara said she went into defense lawyer mode when the doctors told her they would do the surgery two days after being diagnosed. Her response: “How about doing surgery tomorrow.” She’s kept a positive attitude during this long, arduous battle. “When I woke up from surgery I said there’s no way this is going to beat me,” she shared. “I have had this feeling from the beginning. It’s not going to be an easy road; it’s not going to happen quickly. But, in the end I’m going to be cancer free.”

Nike Free HyperFeel by Frances Chase Dunn

he new Nike Free HyperFeel takes an innovative approach to shoe technology. This new Nike product, only available in a few stores as of now, has been released as an extension of the Nike Free technology with the FlyKnit technology. My initial reaction to the HyperFeel was “funky” at first glance because of its sock-like structure. After testing the shoe out however, my opinion quickly changed. This shoe seems great for almost every type of movement, especially for those who want to work with “free”-type technology. The idea behind the Nike Free technology, for those unfamiliar, is to allow more free movement in the foot, thus translating to the rest of the body. The Nike Free HyperFeel was designed to place minimal “padding and protection only where necessary” so that the feet are able to move more naturally and make the muscles work a bit harder as opposed to other supportive shoes. I really found this to be true in my longer, slower runs with the shoe. With a history of using supportive shoes, I found that the muscles in my arch were a bit sore the next days after using the HyperFeel for longer runs. My experience seems to support the notion that these shoes allow you to work all the muscles in your feet naturally, and I would expect the soreness not to show for those who already run regularly in the original Nike Frees, barefoot or shoes with less support. This shoe is one of the closest products to barefoot running that I have seen and would actually recommend to runners. It also has waffle technology on the bottom, which gives it a good grip for trail running on dirt. I would be careful with super rocky surfaces, however, because it requires your muscles to work more for stability rather than the shoe. Testing the shoe out from a different approach than just distance and trail running is where I really grew to like this product. Just on the grass, I used the Nike

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SEPTEMBER 20 – 27 | 2013 |

The new Nike Free HyperFeel allows more free movement in the foot and can be used in a variety of exercises.

Free HyperFeel to do typical running drills, jumps, squats and other exercises. It was really great for these things because of their incredibly light weight and their ability to allow my feet to feel almost “free” and naturally move. It fit snug with the FlyKnit technology and tight ankle band so that there was no extra movement inside. I also found a great use for this new product in my sprints. I did a few sprints up the cement path leading from Santa Barbara’s Leadbetter beach to Shoreline Park and my feet felt like they were in spikes! The waffle grip created traction and a strong grip that made me feel as if I was on the track in my spikes again. Although the shoe is made for runners who want more natural movement and less support in their runs, I think the HyperFeel really has a more broad range

of uses. I think it may have a great place as an all around exercise shoe and excellent sprint shoe alternative to spikes. It allows you to use your body and leg muscles more naturally for movement, and also saves your feet from the track you’re running on more than a pair of metal spikes would. It could even be used for weightlifting and gym workouts. If people get past the “funky” look and tendency to say no to the unfamiliar, I think this shoe might really take off as a great all around freemoving product.

Athletes of the Week: Tyler Welch and Melissa Jewkes by Barry Punzal

A monster football game by Tyler Welch of Dos Pueblos and solid playing on the golf course by Melissa Jewkes

Melissa Jewkes

Tyler Welch

earned them Athlete of the Week honors at Monday’s Santa Barbara Athletic Round Table press luncheon. Welch led DP to its first win of the season, a 31-21 decision over Cabrillo. He rushed for 244 yards, scored three touchdowns, intercepted a pass that set up a touchdown, made nine tackles and played long snapper on special teams. His rushing yardage was the third most by a Charger in a game in DP history. Jewkes, a four-year varsity golfer, started her week by shooting an 86 for 18 holes at the Pirate Invitational at the Alisal River Course. She followed that

up with back-to-back medalist honors in dual match wins against Pacifica. She fired a 9-hole career-best 37 at River Ridge GC in Oxnard and shot a 44 at Santa Barbara Golf Club. Female athletes named honorable mention were Dani Moreno of UCSB cross country, Chloe Allen of San Marcos volleyball, Katey Thompson of UCSB volleyball and Beth Ritter of UCSB soccer. The male honorable mention picks were Gabe Molina of Bishop Diego football, Zack Arnell of SBCC football and Ian Craddock of Carpinteria football.

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...continued from p.9 are prominent in the aroma, adding a zest to the other flavors and imparting the crispness of fallen leaves crackling underneath your feet. The invigorating blend of fruit, squash and spice captures the overall flavors of a Thanksgiving dinner and does well to capture the spirit of the season.

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La Citrueille Celeste de Citracado I have to admit that La Citrueille Céleste de Citracado is one of my least favorite beers out of the Stone Collaborations Series. Not because of the flavors – it was one of my favorite tasting beers out of the lineup – but instead I disagree with this beer because it makes me feel like an illiterate fool every time I try to say the name. But what does this weird, unpronounceable title even mean? “The Heavenly Pumpkin of Citracado.” Céleste is French for heavenly and pumpkin is citrouille in the same smooth, sweet language. It is purposefully misspelled, citrueille, in honor of Patrick Rue, The Bruery’s founder. Citracado is the street where Stone Brewing is located. This beer was produced in 2011 but there are still bottles of it hanging around the Santa Barbara beer shelves. It was a collaboration beer that contains pumpkin, yams, toasted fenugreek, lemon verbena and birch bark. This bizarre combination of ingredients represents the brilliance of three masters by bringing together the bold flavors of Stone Brewing, the wooden wisdom of The Bruery and the insightful spicing of Elysian Brewing. Overall, the beer is a complex set of flavors that, when combined, have the resemblance of a pumpkin beer, but upon looking at them more closely you can see how far from the style this beer travels. Lemon verbena adds a ferocious, sweet lemon tone that lets its presence be known throughout the entire experience. The birch bark adds a woodsy, pepper accent to the other flavors and helps diminish the lemon verbena’s power. Fenugreek is a common part of the spice-soup known as curry powder, but by itself it possesses a distinct sweet, maple note (which leads to its use in imitation maple syrup). The toasted fenugreek in this beer gives it a spicy quality that replaces more traditional pumpkin seasonings yet still provides that maple syrup flavor to complement the beer’s sweet, pumpkin and yam backbone. It is hard to describe how all these elements come together so I just highly recommend seeking this beer out (the two years of age has only done wonders for its flavors).

Smashed Pumpkin While Shipyard Brewing Co. does produce their more mellow Pumpkinhead Ale, they are better known for their aggressive Smashed Pumpkin. At 9.0% ABV, this is the king of the pumpkin beers. The fragrance of nutmeg dominates the pumpkin liqueur aroma that lies underneath. That being said, the intensity of its scent does not prepare you for the sucker punch your palate is about to receive. An intense pumpkin character merges with the breadlike malted wheat and toasty Munich malts. Its sweet, brown sugar flavor is heightened by the warmth of its strong alcohol content and the nutmeg adds a spicy, festive finish. There is a bitter, slightly tart note throughout the flavors that is reminiscent of candied lemon peel. Although each one of these beers works well with the character of this season and provides its own interpretation of this patriotic style, the rich Smashed Pumpkin would have no problem replacing pumpkin pie at the end of a fall meal. At least that’s the case in my house.

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Rant by Katie Cusimano

Uh-Oh: Trader Joe’s No-No’s

epending upon where you live in town, you no doubt have your favorite neighborhood Trader Joe’s that you frequent. I’m not exactly sure why our little town hit the Trader Joe’s trifecta, frankly, but I’d gladly trade Joe all three of his stores to have one with a decent, civil parking lot. Sure, we could all look forward to the Summer Solstice Parade, when parking spaces abound at all three local TJ’s, but for the remaining 364 days of the year, can’t we all just get along?

Trader Joe’s Calle Real Center, Goleta – Third Worst Pros: Calle Real has the most parking of all three TJs, mostly due to the fact it’s not in SB proper and therefore got more of the good land in the deal. Cons: Exiting the parking lot can be tricky due to the way the rows intersect the exit lane; the spaces aren’t angled, so most every driver needs to negotiate a fivepoint turn to maneuver and get into his or her spot. Based on the failure rate of this method, I’m pretty sure drivers’ training classes aren’t teaching this skill anymore. The alternative? Drivers come at you head-on like a game of chicken in order to navigate the 90-degree angle necessary to turn. I find it most entertaining when two cars are vying for the same spot in this lot. It’s like Christmas. Recently, while circling the rows at the

Calle Real Trader Joe’s, I was cut off by a major douche bag in a Mini Cooper. He managed to park, and then exit his car just in time to cut me off again while crossing the lot on foot. No eye contact; no courtesy wave. Just sweaty arrogance that suggested his need to buy a frozen

“No eye contact; no courtesy wave. Just sweaty arrogance that suggested his need to buy a frozen vegetable mélange was greater than my need to avoid an involuntary manslaughter charge.” vegetable mélange was greater than my need to avoid an involuntary manslaughter charge. Is the lure of GMO-free foods so strong that it results in a loss of peripheral vision? I say go have a couple modified organisms and learn to look both ways while walking in traffic, Einstein. What also entertains me in this lot are the women decked out in workout clothes who will forgo the spot four spaces down and wait for the spot closer to the store, just to walk 10 less yards. Huh? You’re squeezed into enough Lululemon to make lemonade and you’re too lazy to walk a little farther? Was Jazzercise too strenuous today? Meanwhile, eight cars are idling behind her because her Expedition is as wide as it is long. This is the same

Proudly serving the Central Coast since 2000

Katie Cusimano is a Los Angeles-born, 4thyear college dropout and longtime Santa Barbara resident who revels in exposing the absurdities of everyday life around town. She worked and volunteered for numerous local establishments before finally settling on the glamorous career of co-parenting her two daughters to be ungrateful teenagers. Currently she serves as president of the SBHS Theatre Foundation and manages promotions for the program.

woman who parks in the spaces marked “COMPACT” at the De La Vina TJ’s. Let’s move on.

Trader Joe’s De La Vina, Santa Barbara – Second Worst Pros: Angled parking spots; a posted sign that tries to diffuse anger upon entry: “Welcome to Trader Joe’s. Please Park Anywhere.” Cons: Narrow rows; not enough spaces; exiting onto De La Vina can sometimes be a death wish. DLV TJ’s is a real beauty. If you get stuck behind someone who decides to wait for the family of seven to offload their groceries and fasten all their kids into car seats, you might find yourself wishing you had gone to the Ventura Joe’s because you’d be home eating your Tofu Tikka Masala by now. Entering this lot is not nearly as difficult as getting out. The steady stream of cars pouring off of DLV into Trader Joe’s tends to prohibit even the keenest exit strategies. Factor in the giant delivery truck that seems to unload only during peak shopping hours and you’ve got yourself a nice helping of organic gridlock. But don’t worry, there are plenty of folks leaving the Surgical Center who are riding high on anesthesia, so they’re feeling very mellow and won’t pose an aggressive threat.

Trader Joe’s Milpas, Santa Barbara – Absolute Worst Pros: Parking spots are angled and perpendicular. Pick your poison. Cons: Location, location, location. If you can survive the Milpas

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roundabout, you earn the privilege to enter Trader Joe’s on Milpas, the Grand Dame of them all. It’s the only Joe’s that employs a security guard who doubles as a shopping cart retriever. What it actually needs is a traffic cop with a taser. Upon entry, drivers find themselves winding through the three rows of limited parking spots, all wishing TJ’s corporate offices offered Fast Passes that would guarantee them a spot 90 minutes later. Instead, drivers lie in wait for shoppers exiting the store and execute pit maneuvers on other cars to improve their chances of garnering a spot. Back off, everyone. Starsky & Hutch need their Joe Joe’s or there’ll be hell to pay. If you don’t have time to circle, do as others do. Take, for instance, the 60-something woman in the neon tennis outfit whose husband parks diagonally in the handicapped spot while she runs in to get her bifidus regularis. Apparently it’s not breaking the law if you park on an angle and leave your engine running. Forget about my friend suffering from MS who needs that spot. Neon Nellie’s colon needs her special yogurt before her doubles match at Knollwood tomorrow. Or try another of my favorites. Park on red and activate your hazard lights. This is the universal signal that tells everyone you’re a bona fide a-hole. As long as you don’t make eye contact with everyone who is trying to navigate around you, it’s totally OK. I’ve sat idling behind all these types, marveling at how self-professed, peaceloving people can turn into aggravated weenies (veggie weenies, of course) upon entering a Trader Joe’s parking lot. I’ve been cut off by Subarus sporting “Coexist” stickers and nearly run over by a local retirement home’s van. I believe the CAD (Common Angst Denominator) is that TJ’s customers are just plain hungry. Perhaps all that Tofurkey and those roasted seaweed snacks are just pissing off everyone’s hypothalamus, which in turn, shoots gluten-free messages to their brains to be rude and combative. And we wonder why Two Buck Chuck is TJ’s best-seller? Instead of handing me a Frequent Flyer, how about the manager pour me a complimentary glass of the Chuck just for surviving the zombie apocalypse out front? But enough of all that. Where’s my hormone free teriyaki chicken bowl?

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...continued from p.7 militaristic than many of us would prefer. So there’s that. Take it away, Jeff. – MSM) (Dear Charles: Thank you for the compliment and thank you for reading SB’s most dynamic paper. However, if you think our President is out there actively protecting U.S. markets, you would be wrong. While it is true that many presidents have intervened in the affairs of other countries to protect “American interests,” I believe the present Syrian matter is due more to the influence of the military-industrial complex that sees the use of force as a foreign policy tool and has an eagerness to perpetuate its share of the U.S. economy. Without the constant “threats to our security,” its role would take far less of our GDP and tax dollars. This, I believe, is the source of an “American Imperium,” not foreign trade. Further, your stock investments (and mine) need no help from the government in order to participate in foreign trade. CocaCola gained market dominance through effective marketing and by producing a product that people around the world want. This was accomplished by free trade, not militaristic governmental intrusion. With that said, and like you, I am pleased to see President Obama seek Congress’s consent to start another war. Anything that cuts back the powers of our now imperial presidency would be good for America. – Jeff Harding)

Potty Talk

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Dear Matt – As the only “academic” who didn’t suffer from diarrhea of the mouth, wasn’t ex-lax-adaisical, didn’t have irritable bowel syndrome, wasn’t too anal retentive and didn’t crap out on Valley Girl’s interview request, I’d like to commend the author for her well-researched summary of this cheeky subject (Tour du Port-o-Let, Vol. 2, Issue 35). As for her somewhat profligate use of puns, I’d also like to remind politically correct readers that there is a big difference between scatology and eschatology. Academically yours, B.M. UCSB Research Staff Assistant (Editor’s Note: Thanks, I think, B.M. (Interesting name.) I was trying to conjure up a decent and original play on your lighthearted letter but all I could come up with after you and Jana Mackin beat this whole potty-talk thing to death was, “Hey B.M., why don’t you stick your puns between your buns.” I know, that one ain’t going to win me any Pulitzers. But I’m considering a deep comparative piece on scatology and eschatology that might. Stay tuned. – MSM)

On Planned Parenthood Matt, I saw your answer in the Letters section last week to Anne Schowe’s response to my column a few weeks back and liked it enough to follow

up. (Planned Parenthood Considers All Candidate Endorsements Equitably (Vol. 2, Issue 35) and Let the Games Begin, Vol. 2, Issue 33), respectively.) The crux of Planned Parenthood’s endorsement process for nonDemocratic party endorsees is this: While they may recuse themselves from campaigns on which they are actively participating (that’s great), they still sit on the endorsement process for competitor (non-DCC endorsed) campaigns. Nothing in the Planned Parenthood endorsement process stops them from sharing that intel with the campaigns they DO sit on. This is what I object to. Putting it succinctly: If I am an Indy, conservative or Libertarian candidate seeking their endorsement, to get it, I have to expose my campaign plans to people I know are working on Democratic-endorsed campaigns. In other words, my opponents. Why would I do that? It’s the equivalent of sitting down with the Dem Central Committee and saying, look now, here are my plans to beat you... No Indy or right-leaning candidate would willingly do that. So their recusal process is bunk. It only absolves them from looking at campaign plans for candidates whose campaigns they’re already working on. It doesn’t stop them from sharing intel from candidates whose campaigns they aren’t working for. Sharon Byrne Santa Barbara (Editor’s Note: Thanks, Sharon, appreciate the follow up. I must say that I thought your point was quite clear and succinct in the initial column, where you wrote the following: “Very often, a board member reviewing your endorsement application will also be working with Democratic campaigns. Exposing your campaign plan is therefore highly unadvisable.” I certainly understand that and can’t say I disagree, frankly. I only sought to further evaluate the recusal and endorsement process from another perspective in my response due to Anne’s letter. I think I did that, but, as with many things I write, the jury is out. Thanks for the note… now go write another column! – MSM)

Speed. Metal. Now that Guitar Bar is the musical hub of the FZ, the current fastest guitar player in the FZ will undoubtedly be taking on all comers. Here’s a shot of Josh McDonough – a manager at Segway of Santa Barbara – ripping hard at speed. Come on… who’s faster than that? Jim Mahoney Funk Zone (Editor’s Note: Prolific is the understatement of the year, Jim, thanks for yet another cool shot. I’ve seen Josh jamming

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Speed. Metal. Get it?

around town in both the musical and transportation senses, and would love to hear how that whole situation developed. In fact, this reminds me. A good friend keeps telling me that the Sentinel really must do a series on interesting individuals around town. (E.g., the gentlemen who paddles miles seemingly daily on a boogie board and then meanders through town in his wetsuit and many others.) Maybe it’s time to seriously consider something like that. Anybody have any story suggestions in that regard? Could be fun if there is interest. Thanks again, Jim, we should grab a beer sometime and shake hands. – MSM)

My Dad Has a Foul Mouth But Likes the Paper Hey Matt, love the paper, been reading it religiously every weekend. Guitar Bar sounds awesome, can’t wait to check it out when I get out to SB next. And I’ve been doing those Schnatzle [sic] workouts three times a week in addition to my normal stuff. She’s good, I like that stuff – all the pop ups and [expletive] are kicking my [expletive]. Anyway, give me a buzz and let’s get caught up. George Mazza Denver, Colorado (Editor’s Note: That is actually a transcribed voicemail to me from my very fit father in Colorado. Hey Pop, all those pop ups and [expletive] are kicking my [expletive], too. And Guitar Bar is very cool, I’ve already been in a few times and fooled around with a few of Jamie’s guitars. (Wait, that doesn’t sound right. Weird.) Oh, and Jenny’s last name is Schatzle, not Schnatzle. I’ll give you a buzz this weekend. – MSM)

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In the Garden with

UCSANTABARBARA

Mr. Greenjeans

EXTENSION

by Randy Arnowitz “Mr. Greenjeans,” as he is known around Santa

Barbara, is a gardener, horticulturist and writer. He particularly enjoys working with roses, orchids and sharing the day with his golden retriever Peaches, who faithfully accompanies him in the field. Contact him at greenjeansmr@gmail.com

Your Pathway for Learning

Discover. Experience. Grow.

An Orchid Primer

Orchids for Dummies and the Rest of Us Part I: Watering

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any mysteries have dogged mankind through the millennia. The Shroud of Turin, Stonehenge, the meaning of life and who killed The Black Dahlia are just a few. But perhaps no greater conundrum exists today than how to get that blasted orchid from Trader Joe’s to bloom again. Over the next few weeks I will try to help put together the pieces of the puzzle that is orchid care. Although light, temperature, potting medium and fertilizer are all contributing factors in growing and re-blooming orchids, watering seems to be the most daunting and misunderstood. There is no one, easy answer to the question, “How often should I water my orchid?” When someone asks me that, I usually have to respond with many questions of my own in order to answer the one. It helps me to know: What type of orchid is it? How much light is it receiving? Is it kept indoors or outdoors? If indoors, what temperature is the room where it’s being grown? What type of medium is it potted in? This last one is the deal breaker. Let me explain. Let’s, for the sake of simplicity, limit our orchid repertoire to any number of the commonly grown orchids that Trader Joe’s sells. Sometimes these plants are potted in small or medium-sized chunky bark with something like that white, crunchy perlite mixed in. If that is the case, then it is easy to see that this medium dries out rather quickly when the temperature is warm. In that case, I would submerge the entire pot up to the rim in a bowl of room temperature water and let it soak for an hour or two. Then I would take it out and let it drain for a few minutes before returning it to where it lives in your home. I would not water or soak it again until the bark begins to dry out. You can often tell when this is by the weight of the pot, by feeling the bark with your finger or by peeking at the medium through the holes at the bottom of the pot to determine whether it still appears to be moist. On the other hand, sometimes you will bring home an orchid that is potted in some moss or moss-like stuff. You will find that this “moss” will stay wet or even soggy for a long time, perhaps even for weeks. In that case you can either soak the plant or put it under your sink faucet and gently run the water through it until it is thoroughly saturated. Then, as above, let

If watered properly, this phalaenopsis can hold its bloom for many months.

This Angraecum longiscott ‘Lea’ loves having its roots exposed and growing free. It can be grown mounted on a bark slab or supported by large bark or stones in a clay pot.

it drain and put it back. However, I have found that even when kept in a warm, bright and airy room, the blooms on these orchids potted in this dense medium will sometimes begin to wilt and fall off even before I’ve had a chance to water the darn thing even once. It seems that this mossy medium stays wet for too long, not allowing air to get the roots and then rot sets in. The point is (I know, I know, get to it already!) that, in general, it is best to allow the potting medium to approach dryness before watering, and this is totally dependent upon what type of medium the orchid is planted in. Whew! Here is an interesting thing to think about the next time you’ve rotted the roots off of an orchid. Many of the

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Lady Slippers (Paphiopedilum) are terrestrials that make their homes in the humus layers on the forest floor. In other words, they like having their roots in the dirt.

orchids that we buy (except lady slippers and cymbidiums) are actually epiphytic. That means that in nature they would be growing in or on trees with their roots exposed to the humid, sticky air. The only reason that we stick them in pots of either bark or moss is so we can maintain humidity around those roots and to keep the plants upright. They are not like houseplants that need their roots to be growing in, and deriving nourishment from, the soil they are being grown in. If you look at orchids and orchid roots from this perspective, you can understand that by keeping their roots packed into some overly wet environment like soggy bark or moss is really the kiss of death. Next time:

1-855-617-6624

An Orchid Primer (Orchids Dummies and the Rest of Us) Part II: Light

Randy’s Quick Pick

hen life gives you lemons, have a lemon festival. The 22nd Annual California Lemon Festival will be squeezed into the weekend of September 28th from 10am-6pm and the 29th from 10am-5pm at Girsh Park in Goleta. If you’re sour on the idea, go anyway and check out the zesty and tangy family atmosphere, activities and entertainment. More info at www.lemonfestival.com.

for

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by Rachelle Oldmixon

From Antarctica to Santa Barbarctica

fter spending their entire Friday collecting samples in the supercooled streams of the Miers Valley in Antarctica, Kelsey Bisson and her fellow researchers were actually looking forward to the worse-than-amess-hall food back at base camp. But that wasn’t to be. The extreme winds that blow all the snow clear out of the Valley suddenly kicked up, making it difficult for helicopters to retrieve the five-member team. The snowstorm that followed shortly thereafter made retrieval impossible. So, for Saturday, Kelsey – an undergraduate research assistant at the time – rationed herself three chocolate candy bars while others chose to eat slightly-out-of-date protein bars. In Antarctica, you see, helicopters are a precious commodity; missing your scheduled flight might mean that you could be stuck for days. Knowing that, the team understood well that food was a precious commodity. And so, Kelsey and the researchers on the one-day expedition with her made the best of it. They played cards, made friendships that stretched over the student-professor divide and went on solo hikes (with walkie-talkies, of course). Eventually, the helicopter arrived. But, with so little around to mark the passage of time, Kelsey still isn’t sure if they were picked up on Monday or Tuesday.

Coming to (UC)SB You would think that such a harrowing experience would be Kelsey’s primary reason for abandoning her Antarctic

Ah, hey Kelsey, that type of clothing is really unnecessary here in beautiful Santa Barbara. You should consider something a bit, well, lighter.

research for the sunny beaches of Santa Barbara. But instead she says that those few days gave her such clarity and peace that she would brace that bone-numbing cold again in a heartbeat. The more Kelsey talked, the more it was clear that her time in Antarctica gave her a perspective that few of us will ever comprehend. She went to the Antarctic to assist in studying intricate processes that are particularly sensitive to any change in the environment: The geo-chemical cycling of trace elements and metals in closed basin lakes. Essentially, there are several deep, cold, fresh water lakes in the Antarctic that receive water from flowing streams but have no outlet. The water currents and relative environment of these isolated lakes produce chemical stratification in the lakes, particularly in

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A self-professed science nerd, Rachelle has her B.A. in neuroscience from Skidmore College in upstate New York, and is working towards her Master’s in psychology at UCSB. In her free time, she blogs at www.synapticspeculations.com. She never could quite understand why she had to choose just one area of science; they are all fascinating. Especially when paired with some classic rock.

the permafrost, allowing heavier elements to settle lower than lighter ones. However, any single small change in the basin lakes’ systems would disrupt this phenomenon and establish a new chemical stratification. In her research, Kelsey saw firsthand how the Antarctic was then already being affected by the change in Earth’s climate. Kelsey sees her work in the frigid south as “very fundamental research” with little applicable value to how we live our daily lives – except that her work will give future scientists a baseline against which they can compare their findings, allowing us to quantify how the changing climate is altering the polar ecosystem. I asked Kelsey why it’s important to monitor the little changes in the Antarctic when we could just as easily do the research somewhere warmer. As it turns out, the Antarctic is such a precarious, fragile environment that even the extremophiles who live there (organisms that flourish in difficult environments) are uber-sensitive to any changes. This makes the Antarctic an environment that we can use to predict what changes the rest of the world might expect to see in the near future. So what did pull Kelsey away from studying the fragile Antarctic environment? Her answer made a lot of sense: “I always loved big bodies of water, even growing up in Ohio; water is my favorite thing to study. I always thought oceans are a critical part of life. We don’t really know enough about the oceans, and they are very sensitive to climate change while at the same time buffering us from the effects of climate change... so it’s frustrating that we’ve mapped the surface of Mars in more detail than we’ve mapped the bottom of our own ocean.” But why choose UC Santa Barbara for her graduate studies? “The Marine Sciences program is very interdepartmental. And the ocean is so diverse that one area of science could never encompass the whole ocean. We need the different areas communicating what they know to each other so we can understand and protect our greatest resource.” In other words, some of the best and brightest young scientists around continue to pick UCSB as a university that is doing some truly interesting groundbreaking and collaborative work. (Go Gauchos.)

The Euphotic Zone It also doesn’t hurt that Dr. David Siegel is doing some phenomenal research. While his lab is technically a part of the Geography Department, he is also

well entrenched in the Marine Sciences program at UCSB. Kelsey is joining Dr. Siegel’s lab this fall as a first year graduate student with a three-year grant from the National Science Foundation’s Graduate Research Fellowship. Together, they will be studying what is called the euphotic zone, the area of the ocean that receives sunlight. Currently, it is thought that this area is uniform across the ocean, but Dr. Siegel thinks that may not be the case. Dr. Siegel and Kelsey plan to use data from NASA satellites to determine the depth of the euphotic zone and how it attenuates. Dr. Siegel is particularly interested in what this might mean for the global distribution of plankton, a powerhouse of the ocean that often goes unnoticed. As Kelsey pointed out, plankton provide nearly fifty percent of the oxygen in the air, making it possible for oxygen-dependent life (read: nearly all living organisms) to survive. I asked Kelsey how gaining this information would be helpful to us as a society. She dove right in, explaining the importance of her work. Again, she feels her work is mostly “fundamental” in nature; she is pursuing this line of research because it is important to know how the world is today before it changes too much. After all, any change in the plankton population, including changes in how their photosynthetic processes are controlled as a consequence of climate change, could mean big changes for us in the future. And Kelsey’s work in Antarctica and now Santa Barbara will help us understand and address any problems that arise. I’ve said it before and I’m sure I’ll say it again: Ain’t science cool?

ike Kelsey, I have strong feelings about climate change. There is a misconception that climate change is just a fancier way of saying “global warming.” That’s not necessarily true. Whether we are the cause or not, the Earth’s climate is changing. The ocean has become warmer, parts of the Antarctic are seeing more snowfall, we’ve seen super-storms caused by changing weather patterns, and, yes, some areas of the world are warmer (or colder) than they were before. Consider the Earth as a body. If you got a dangerously high fever, how would your body react? What about if you experienced frostbite? Your body takes time to adjust, to fix itself, to find a new homeostasis. But, while your body is in the process of adjusting, you sustain damage. You are bedridden, you might lose feeling in part of your body, you may sustain brain damage. That is what Kelsey’s work is all about. By taking the Earth’s metaphorical temperature now, we can then see what damage climate change is causing (or not) when we take her temperature in the future. Knowledge, folks, is power.

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with Mark Léisuré

Mark spends much of his time wandering Santa Barbara and environs, enjoying the simple things that come his way. A show here, a benefit there, he is generally out and about and typically has a good time. He says that he writes “when he feels the urge” and doesn’t want his identity known for fear of an experience that is “less than authentic.” So he remains at large, roaming the town, having fun. Be warned.

BASSH in Action

Back to Sweeter Sounds Street Corner Symphony, who formed in Nashville for the purpopse of competing on NBC’s The Sing-Off,

are somewhat less jazz-based, but no less personal, as the duo pull from various styles (disco, funk, soul) via electronica, vocals and DJ spinning.

Ho Hey, Ho Hum In another genre altogether, the Lumineers – the Denver-based duo turned folk-rock outfit whose single “Ho Hey” exploded all over college radio (and everywhere else) last fall, hitting No. 3 on Billboard and instantly selling out a show at the Lobero – step up to Santa Barbara’s biggest venue at the Bowl, also on Sept. 26. No new album yet, but the Lumineers did release a deluxe version of their selftitled debut, with five bonus tracks, last month. They’re not really my cup of tea – your faithful correspondent actually walked out of the Lobero show nearly bored into a stupor – but thousands of screaming fans can’t be wrong, right? Fellow Denver folkie Nathaniel Rateliff opens the show.

$50 P RE SA L

! od Fo

I’ve yet to see The Mattson 2 – the Los Angeles-based duo of identical twins Jared (guitars) and Jonathan (drums) – a t

$6 0

festiva er l be

FT ER

10 /13

B a r a r a b

The virtuoso violinist Itzhak Perlman kicked off CAMA’s 2013-14 International Series at the Granada on Thursday, but you won’t hear violins, maybe just a little musical violence, when Los Angeles rock band FIDLAR does its garage punk thing at a Club Mercy show Friday night at the lower State Street club Velvet Jones. The band – who recently teamed up with Parks & Recreation star Nick Offerman to create one of the year’s most outrageous music videos for their song “Cocaine” – is sure to play “Awkward,” it’s new single that was part of a split 7” with tourmates The Orwells...

Double Duos

IC! US M

From Fiddler to FIDLAR

finished as the runners-up in the show’s second season, when the contemporary a capella group gained notoriety with covers of crowd favorites. Recordings of Christmas music and more cover tunes ensued. But their debut album, Southern Autumn Nostalgia, which was released in mid-July, was written entirely by members of the band. Hear the difference at SOhO on Tuesday... The gritty California roots/Americana singer-songwriter Dave Alvin returns to the Maverick Saloon in Santa Ynez on Wednesday, the perfect marriage of man and venue... That’s also when Real Estate, a New Jersey band full of jangly guitars and complex harmonies, sashays into SOhO.

S a n

ocal social dance instructors were stunned when the Santa Barbara Dance Alliance decided to snuff out BASSH last spring, turning the popular annual showcase for studios strutting their stuff into an experimental evening that featured forced collaborative efforts pairing disparate styles and approaches. And then the Alliance decided to take themselves out of the event production business altogether. But Derrick Curtis and some of the other dance instructor/choreographer stalwarts who have boosted BASSH since its inception more than a decade ago didn’t just go away. Most participated in “Synergy,” the Dance Alliance’s genreblending evening last April, then began making plans for putting on BASSH by themselves. Next weekend that effort comes to fruition with three indie shows at the Center Stage Theater featuring Santa Barbara Dance Center, Fusion, Lovie’s, Estrellas Unidas, Panzumo and others complete with the audience-involved Post-Performance Dance Party (for only $10 at the door versus something like $35 when Dance Alliance ran it) a block away at the Dance Center. But first there’s one more community-building event this Saturday afternoon at Paseo Nuevo’s Center Court (just below Center Stage), where many of the performers will preview their pieces. As a big supporter of DIY projects, I urge you to check it out.

but the opening line of their self-penned bio is intriguing enough to make their upcoming show Thursday at the Mercury Lounge in Goleta well worth checking out, and not just because it’s a great bar, too. “If you could soundtrack the jangle of the sea and the jazz of the surf, The Mattson 2 would most certainly be the composers,” reads the missive. “The foot stomps of a shoe-gazed salty air meets the tight groove and polished shake of the night with each of the duo’s multi-layered tracks.” Having listened to a few clips online, I don’t know if I’d agree with the cosmic analysis, but avenues are definitely pursued and grooves deftly laid down. The duo has toured all over the world, earned bachelor degrees in jazz and African studies and masters of fine arts, so you know they’ve got the credentials as well as the chops... Thursday is also when another indie music duo, AM & Shawn Lee, hits SOhO, armed with a new album, La Musique Numerique. The grooves here

SEPTEMBER 20 – 27 | 2013 |

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...continued from p.15

This 4x5” portrait on tin by Funk Zone artist Lindsey Ross features (left to right) Arts Fund assistant director Kai Tepper and Catherine. A session with the artist will be auctioned off at the anniversary party’s silent auction.

CHAUCER’S BOOKSTORE Moving Forward Last year, The Arts Fund took a turn in receiving funding from the Santa Barbara Foundation for a Funk Zonefocused project. “‘Charrette’ is a French term and it’s basically an architectural rendering for development, for change,” Catherine explains. The Funk Zone Charrette project and exhibition saw about forty-five creatives drawing up their visions for the neighborhood’s future. (One of the more accessible ideas generated during the project was for façade projections – which Catherine describes as “ephemeral and fleeting” – and will be actualized at the anniversary party.) “Ever since,” Catherine says, “the momentum and the energy around the arts and everything that’s happening down here has just increased ten-fold.” The Arts Fund is at the vanguard of the effort to build on what resulted from the Charrette. Catherine, observing the prosperity of the Urban Wine Trail, is inspired: “Think about it. You have seventeen tasting rooms in Santa Barbara. Over half of them are in the Funk Zone,” she says. “You have seventeen mailing lists. You have seventeen masterminds, owners, winemakers who run these successful businesses. You bring it together, you create a brochure, you create an association, you have events. And it’s a marketing machine.” She wants to apply that model to the art element in the neighborhood. She’s already begun collaborating with nearby art institutions. “Within two blocks, my neighbors, MichaelKate, Brad Nack, Crista Dix at Wall Space, Caroline and Steve Thompson at Cabana Home, the three artists who have a studio right here in the green house,” she says, pointing to the building on the corner opposite Metropulos, “What we’re doing is very

Local artist Tony Askew’s A Formal Affaire will be on display at A Formal Affair, which opens September 29.

humbly creating these Friday Art Walks. And so when we have an exhibition or opening, we collaborate; we have our art openings the same nights.” And, as it does for the wineries, it’s working for the galleries: “We’re seeing thousands of people come when two and a half years ago we only saw hundreds.” Catherine already knows what’s next after the anniversary party clears out. “A big agenda item for me is to formally, eventually create a brochure and a map as a compliment to First Thursday, like a Funk Zone Friday. I think it’s just a really good idea to help out the artists, the art institutions and the other businesses.” When it comes to redevelopment and the transitional space the neighborhood currently occupies, The Arts Fund exec is more than positive. “I think it’s marvelous,” she says. “There’s the whole perspective of ‘oh, it’s slowly gentrifying,’ and that’s inevitable. That’s going to happen anywhere.” She’s savoring the moment, enjoying the creative collaboration, the new projects, the events. “I think the right now of the Funk Zone is very exciting.”

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Saturday, September 28 Plaza Vera Cruz Park Across from Saturday Farmers Market

10:00am - 6:00pm FESTIVAL Garden of Eatin’ “A Taste of What’s Possible”

Local Food Artisans • Global SOL • Scratch Cookin’ Kitchen Hands on Kitchen • Live Food Demos • Beer & Wine Garden

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San Julian sliders, brisket sandwich and fish tacos

Nimita’s Indian Cuisine

Veggie Curry, Samosas and Raita

SOL Food Kitchen Grilled Pork Tacos with Locally grown flatbread

Gelato, gelato, gelato!

Ascending Health Juicery Fresh juices

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Super food smoothies, cacoa and the famous hippy zippy

Over 20 Local Food Artisans serving up everything from bread, cheese, jams, and savory sauces to juices and chocolate! Hands On Kitchen: Learn how to make homemade probiotic sodas, old-fashioned sauerkraut, dill pickles and sourdough bread! Space is limited so plan to come early - and bring the kids! Scratch Cookin’ Kitchen: Live demonstrations homemade ketchup and mustard, cheese, kombucha, jams and more!

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Visit our website at www.solfoodfestival.com for all schedules and more details!

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The Eat Side Just Tastes Good Everybody knows that the Milpas area residents and business owners, in collaboration with the Milpas Community Association, have engineered a staggering turnaround in their neighborhood. (At least we think everybody knows about it; not only did we discuss it extensively right here in these pages but everybody’s favorite newsman – KEYT’s Senior Reporter Primetime John Palminteri – absolutely nailed the local coverage, seriously. If you ever want to work together, John, pick up the damned telephone man.) And hot off of taking second in a national neighborhood competition (Milpas lost out only to Eugene, Oregon for Neighborhood of the Year back in May 2013, clearly the fix was in (sorry for all the parentheticals, this is getting ridiculous)), they’re cutting and polishing the jewel of a neighborhood they always believed they had under their feet.) And that, friends, is cool. You know what else is cool? Food. On Milpas. Full stop. You know what’s funny about that? Recognition of the food culture and tradition over there might just start with the invention of the damned Egg McMuffin by Herb Peterson in the Milpas McDonalds back in the 1960s. (I’m lovin’ it, Dave Peterson, but I’m lovin’ it responsibly.) Let’s move on to more recent times. La Super Rica was recently featured in Travel and Leisure as the 8th best taco joint. In the whole frickin’ country. Milpasarenos chuckle, “8th best taco… on Milpas, maybe.” And they’re not kidding. There’s a plethora of little known culinary delights on Milpas. Remember El Bajio owner Santos Claus who led the charge to get the holiday lights back up last Christmas in Santos Claus is Comin’ to Town (Vol. 1, Issue 9)? Seems a Forbes

travel writer went to write up Super Rica because Julia Child went there. After his lunch, he wandered down the street to see what else was on offer. (I love Super Rica, for the record.) He entered El Bajio, unbeknownst to Santos, ordered a bunch of dishes, tried them all, and promptly declared El Bajio the crown-champion taqueria of all time in his July article for the magazine. (I also love El Bajio and Santos and his whole family, for the record.) But that’s not all. Los Agaves and Your Place Thai regularly win Best of Santa Barbara in local media contests. (Hmmmm… maybe we should start one. Nah.) Mama Lu’s was opened by the owner of Madame Lu’s, and has become quite popular for Chinese food. (Hint: Skip the buffet, order off the menu.) Everybody loves Jack’s Bistro & Famous Bagels for a quick coffee and breakfast. Newcomer The Shop Café has been written up extensively in local media reviews (you read it here first, folks, many moons ago) and has drawn an instant following with its unique upscale diner concept and delectable entrées at unbelievably reasonable prices. (Everybody knows about The Rolex; check out the YOLO next time you’re in the hood. I’d say more but all I can come up with are expletives to describe my happiness.) The bottom line is that the diversity of restaurants on Milpas is considerable: From fine(ish) dining at Rodney’s Grill at the DoubleTree Resort, to Asian, to breakfast, to Italian, to arguably some of the best Mexican in Santa Barbara, Milpas has it all. (Hell, even the Lucky Penny down in the Funk Zone named a pizza after them: Breakfast on Milpas. It’s amazing! But this ain’t about the Funk Zone, and I digress.)

fantastic restaurants on this street. Why not let everyone in on our little secret? So they created a way to do just that: The Taste of Milpas. You eat. You drink some beer or (and?) some wine (there are two local wineries in the neighborhood – Fess Parker and Jaffur’s Cellars). You hear live bands and see some cool art. You get to support a bunch of local charities that do great things. And you get to enjoy special creations from 20 different Milpas eateries, all in one night. (Don’t worry, the MCA talked The Habit out of giving full Charburgers to patrons, so you’ll be able to actually make it up the street.) You start the whole trip from the beach, at Cabrillo Ballfield. You buy a wristband for $30 ($25 in advance; kids under 12 are just $12), and if you want to do the wine thing, you get a winetasting wristband for $15. You get a map, a goody bag and charity tokens to spend at the charities of your choice. (Don’t worry, they’ll all be showing their stuff to encourage you to spend your tokens with them.) And you start walking. Boys and Girls Club, PAL, Franklin Elementary and more will compete for your benefaction. Some are putting on live music performances. Some will show you their artwork as you stroll by. But the decision on who to fund is yours, and

SEPTEMBER 20 – 27 | 2013 |

MCASB. The Museum of Contemporary Art Santa Barbara (MCASB) will be doing a live art demonstration at Ortega and Milpas. They’re taking big empty veggie cans (think cafeteria use-size) and turning them into planters, with, ah, live plants in them, which are then given away to patrons of the event. “We’re excited by the interactive possibilities with art for the community in this event,” says MCASB Art Outreach Manager Sophie Leddick. So am I. Pocket Art Galleries. The Boys and Girls Club, the Franklin Arts Alliance and noted local artist Jim Bess will feature their artwork at pocket art galleries along Milpas to give you something visually cool to look at as you amble along to your next Taste stop. MCA Executive Director (and friend) Sharon Byrne got the idea from Minneapolis, where the Neighborhood of the Year competition was held. “They’d have these empty storefronts, sad reminders of the economy. The arts community in Minneapolis approached landlords with ...continued p.42

BORN IN FRANCE… RAISED IN SANTA BARBARA

A Taste of Milpas Here’s what really brought all this together for me. The Milpas Community Association recently sat around a table, eating some great Milpas food, and had a Bodhi tree moment. They realized, hey, we’ve got something here. We have truly

McDonald’s®

Proud Participant in the Taste of Milpas!

Attendees can show their wristband at the Milpas restaurant during the event for a free, 1-wing sample of the new Mighty Wings®! Tackle the bold spice, available now for a limited time! Limit 1 per person. Only available at Milpas McDonald's, 29 N. Milpas St., Santa Barbara, CA, 9/28/2013 3-7 p.m. with event wristband. © 2013 McDonald’s

that’s how it should be. To give it a French Quarter-esque kind of feel, Latin style, four music stages along the street will feature live Flamenco dance, reggae, rock, blues and jazz performances. Other stuff is going down, too:

Drink Yacht Club Vodka Responsibly

...continued from p.1 thoroughfare (my kids are happy about that too) – but the whole thing that is going on over there on the East Side. Or, should I say, the Eat Side. (I can’t take credit for that, although I wish I could. It’s perfect.)

Toast Spirits LLC · Henderson, NV 89074

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32 |

S E P T E M B E R 2 0 – 2 7 | 2 0 1 3

W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

WANTED: winetasters For The Ultimate, Fall Wine & Food Festival

santa barbara county vintners’ association

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8 0 5 . 8 4 5 .1 6 7 3 | 1 3 3 E A S T D E L A G U E R R A S T R E E T | N O.1 8 2 | S A N TA B A R B A R A

...continued from p.5 having lunch and laughs with close friends on their outdoor patio and then the four of us will explore some more of the new offerings in the Funk Zone. It’s now late afternoon, our favorite time of the day, and we’re off to take advantage of our beautiful weather and the soft afternoon light on a long walk with Gracie through our Mesa neighborhood or through Shoreline Park. We always enjoy these walks because we invariably run into neighbors and friends and end up yakking while Gracie waits “somewhat” patiently – she’s anxious to get home for her dinner! Evening has rolled around and it’s time for our dinner – one of Scott’s Sunday BBQ salmon and grilled vegetable specials. He cooks a mean meal on the grill! After dinner, I get down to business and study the materials for my meetings during the upcoming week. Then it’s off to bed around 9:30pm because my Monday starts at 5am! Ah… another beautiful day in paradise! (Sentinel Says: All right, Ms. Wiscomb, black body markings and a cheerleader named Scott who likes long walks and cooks too? Now that’s a Sunday we can get behind.)

DAVID LANDECKER

unday is my day to “sleep-in.” On weekdays, Tania and I get up at 5am to go to the gym, so getting out of bed at around 7am on Sunday is a great luxury. Today I’ll read the paper with a cup of coffee, and then stretch a little in front of the TV, playing Meet the Press, or Face the Nation. At 8:30, I’ll have breakfast at home or with one of my tennis buddies. Then it’s off to three sets of doubles, which will keep me busy until around 11. It’s a glorious way to spend a beautiful morning! I head home for a little relaxation, and watch whatever sports are on. Often I’ll get together with my mother, who lives here in town, for lunch on her lovely patio looking at the mountains. Advanced age has not changed her love of cooking and of her great view. Likely, the afternoon will include an event put on by one of the many local non-profits I support. But lacking another commitment on a beautiful day, I’d probably get on my bike and ride, perhaps to Carpinteria or Isla Vista, to meet a friend and down a beer or two. Lately, my afternoon would instead be spent walking precincts. Sunday night, since my very first job, is a time for working, getting ready for the week ahead. I’ll be in bed promptly at 10:30pm. (Sentinel Says: We know we’re talking about Sundays here, but 5am on weekdays to hit the gym? You need your rest, Mr. Landecker, especially for a Sunday involving tons of tennis and a bike ride to Carp with beer involved… all before settling in to get some work done. Sheesh, we’re tired just thinking about all that.)

CRUZITO CRUZ

ear Santa Barbara Sentinel Readers: What do you do? How do you spend that perfect Santa Barbara Sunday? This question posed is to illicit personal information from this Councilmember Candidate Cruzito Herrera Cruz that was born and raised in SB. Every weekend is extremely beautiful and each day has its own uniqueness to it. Labor Day weekend Sunday had me travelling to the beach, going for a run and continuing to do research at UCSB – Davidson Library or in our indigenous language – I was at the Calmecac (university) studying our amoxtli’s (books). For the life of learning does not stop with the K-12 nor after the university academic career, but continues because the Movimiento Chicano por Las Comunidades Chicanas is alive, strong and in one espiritu with our Elders of El Plan de Santa Barbara – A Chicana/o Plan for Higher Education. See website PDF: www.sscnet.ucla.edu/00W/chicano101-1/SBplan. pdf. For my Ph.D work will be accomplished with time and will be published and printed as a community member and the result is THIRD EDITION PROJECT. Sunday afternoon normally represents the enjoyment of the four elements in perfect harmony. This is why in our history and in these geographical locations where humanity and the world cultures are meshing and harmonizing ourselves to each other with honesty, respect and much dignity. Sunday is a perfect time to spend time with loving Familia, Old Friends, and New Friends. Blessings from and VOTE for Cruzito Herrera Cruz. cruzitoc@silcom.com.

SEPTEMBER 20 – 27 | 2013 |

(Sentinel Says: Dear Cruzito Cruz: Trust us, we don’t want any illicit personal information about you. Seriously.)

JASON NELSON

unday morning is an especially great time to appreciate all that Santa Barbara has to offer. Although I might be more likely to rise before 10am, the first thing that I normally do is head to breakfast down by the water – Sambo’s or Breakwater is the usual choice for a classic meal of pancakes and eggs. Next comes a visit to a local church; I love the opportunity to spend my Sunday mornings with my friends and neighbors, even if I have yet to commit to any one house of worship since my return home. After I get home, my girlfriend and I leave the Mesa and walk down to the art walk. The chance to see the variety of wares provided by our local artists, coupled with the complimentary scene that is our beachfront, always draws us back from week to week. The best part of Sundays in Santa Barbara is that the entire community tends to come out, allowing the occasion to enjoy a volleyball game, or simply people watch while going for a bike ride. Depending on how the weather holds up, dinner will be a restaurant on State Street, followed by a movie at the Arlington. Although this might be the ideal Sunday, there is something more to it. If all I did was wake up in this sleepy beachfront town, I would be halfway to a perfect day already – that’s why I chose to make Santa Barbara my home! (Sentinel Says: We’re not sure about pancakes and eggs being a classic meal and don’t have any meaningful advice on houses of worship, Mr. Nelson, but we are absolutely certain of one thing: The best part of Sundays in Santa Barbara is that the entire community tends to come out. Couldn’t have said it better ourselves (we didn’t… we just copied your language). In fact, many candidates’ responses reflect exactly that, which is also one of our favorite things about Sundays here in town.)

BENDY WHITE

y 10am on Sunday, our puppy Amber is ready for a walk, and so Kathy and I must obey. Our go-to area is Cabrillo Boulevard. We’ll start wherever our car finds a parking space, whether it’s Bird Refuge, Chromatic Gate, or Leadbetter Beach. We’ll mix it up between the walking paths and snooping up side streets into the Funk Zone or the amazing West Beach area. A lunch break usually punctuates our tour. Choices are too varied to enumerate, though Amber will limit us to the less formal venues. Sometimes we offload Amber at Camp Canine for a bona fide romp, and the grandkids will join us for a trip to the Zoo, where they’ve had a lifelong infatuation with the meerkats and the sweet little hill where they can slide on a piece of cardboard. We’ll even wax touristic and rent a surrey, ending up with a McConnell’s cone at the Breakwater Café. Hopefully the day warms up, and their dad joins us at Hendry’s for some body surfing, since Aqua Camp has helped convert them into little seals. Late afternoon, a shower, a smoothie for the kids and a beer for us, and we throw something on the BBQ. Add corn on the cob from Randy Wade’s farm, Tutti Frutti tomatoes, and Tom Shepard’s salad mix, and we’ve got ourselves a feast. We disband early making ready for Monday. It doesn’t get much better than that! (Sentinel Says: Hang on a second, Mr. White, hill sliding at the Zoo (meerkats too!), a rented canopy bike, McConnell’s Fine Ice Cream at the Breakwater, body surfing at the Pit and a beautiful locally sourced organic meal? We’d like to name you Honorary Sentinel Grandfather. See you next week.)

GREGG HART

y Sunday mornings start early reading a couple newspapers. I get the Los Angeles Times and the News-Press but also usually have the Independent and Sentinel laying around as well. Then at 8:30 I always play tennis for a few hours with my buddies at Santa Barbara High School. We’ve been playing doubles every Sunday morning for the past fifteen years. The ...continued p.34

877-789-MOVIE

www.metrotheatres.com

| S E P T E M B E R 2 0 – 2 7 | 2 0 1 3 W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M  Denotes ‘SPECIAL ENGAGEMENT’ Restrictions

...continued from p.33 Starts Thursday - Sept. 26 first four on a court split into doubles teams, then the winners play the winners from the (R) next court, till we’ve all had enough. It’s great to meet friends for a late 4 - The 8:00 breakfast at TheMetro Shop on Milpas. food is fantastic and the casual atmosphere works Camino Real - 8:15 & 9:30 fine after a workout. If it’s a great dayTHE I love going to Hendry’s MET OPERA - LIVE IN HD Beach in the afternoon with a good book. 2013-14 Season - Tickets on Sale! I enjoy Sue Grafton novels and other fun Opera - October 5 - ARLINGTON: fiction. There are First always jobs to do around the house and I Tchaikovsky’s don’t mind fixing things  EUGENE ONEGIN so when it cools down I may putter with a metrotheatres.com home project. Soonor my - Arlington Theatre: Sunday nightComing BBQs with friends mom are a wonderful way to end the weekend. I love to cook so I usually shop at the in HD Farmers  Market on Saturday for the ingredients for a delicious Sunday night meal. If the Dodgers 3 or Lakers are playing, I’ll tape the -games and pm speed watch them by Nights - 3 Ballets 7:00

 RUSH

THE ROYAL BALLET

Oct. 16 -Information DON QUIXOTE Listed for Friday thru Thursday - September 20 - 26

Nov. 19 - ALICE’S ADVENTURES WONDERLAND 877-789-MOVIE IN www.metrotheatres.com

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PASEO NUEVO FAIRVIEW Starts Thursday - Sept. 26 8 W. De La Guerra Pl. - S.B. Features Stadium Seating

Courtyard Bar Open

Metro 4 - 8:00 Camino Real - 8:15 & 9:30

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 RUSH

ARLINGTON

Fri & Sat - 4:30 - 8:30 225 N. Fairview - Goleta Gwyneth Paltrow (R) LEE DANIELS’ Tim Robbins (R)THE BUTLER 1317 State Street - 963-4408  THANKS FOR SHARING 1:30 4:30 7:30 (PG-13)  PRISONERS (R) Fri-Sun - 1:20 4:10 7:00 9:40 1:20 4:45 8:15 WE’RE THE MILLERS (R) Mon-Thu - 2:10 4:50 7:30 2:30 5:05 7:45 Robert De Niro RIDDICK (R) 2044 Alameda Padre Serra - S.B. THE FAMILY (R) 2:15 5:15 8:00 Fri-Sun - 1:00 2:20 3:50 5:10  SALINGER (PG-13) 6:45 8:00 9:30 Fri - 5:20 8:15 Mon-Thu Sat/Sun - 2:20 5:20 8:15 371 Hitchcock Way - S.B. 2:20 3:50 5:10 6:45 8:00 Mon-Thu - 4:45 7:45  POPULAIRE (R) Playing on 2 Screens Fri & Mon-Thu - 7:30 LEE DANIELS’ THE BUTLER Sat/Sun - 2:00 4:45 7:30 (PG-13) 1:40 4:40 7:45 Features Stadium Seating IN A WORLD (R) metrotheatres.com 916 State Street - S.B. Fri & Mon-Thu - 7:15 Sat/Sun - 1:45 4:30 7:15  BATTLE OF THE YEAR Features Stadium Seating 3D: Fri-Sun - 4:10 (PG-13) Mon-Thu - 4:40 CAMINO REAL MARKETPLACE Hollister & Storke - GOLETA 2D: Fri-Sun Features Stadium Seating 1:10 7:00 9:50  BATTLE OF THE YEAR 618 State Street - S.B. Mon-Thu - 2:00 7:30 (PG-13) 3D: 12:50  PRISONERS (R) 2D: 3:40 6:30 9:15 INSTRUCTIONS Fri-Sun - 12:30 3:10 6:40 10:10 NOT INCLUDED (PG-13)  PRISONERS (R) Mon-Thu - 3:30 7:00 Fri-Sun - 12:45 3:40 6:40 9:30 1:00 2:00 3:50 5:00 INSIDIOUS: CHAPTER 2 (PG-13) Mon-Thu - 1:50 4:50 7:50 7:00 8:30 9:50 Fri-Sun - 1:45 4:25 7:10 9:55 Playing on 2 Screens BLUE JASMINE (PG-13) Mon-Thu - 2:35 5:10 7:45 Fri-Sun - 1:00 3:50 6:30 9:00 THE FAMILY (R) WE’RE THE MILLERS (R) Mon-Thu - 1:40 4:30 7:20 1:10 4:20 7:10 9:30 Fri-Sun - 1:15 4:10 7:00 9:40 Thu 9/26 - No 9:30 Show RIDDICK (R) Mon-Wed - 2:15 4:50 7:30 8 Patrick W. De LaWilson Guerra Pl. (PG-13) - S.B. Features Stadium Seating Fri-Sun - 1:30 4:20 10:00 Courtyard Bar7:10 Open Thu 9/26 - 2:15 4:50 Mon-Thu - 2:20 5:10 8:00 Fri & Sat - 4:30 - 8:30 INSIDIOUS: CHAPTER 2 20225 N. Fairview - Goleta Gwyneth Paltrow FEET FROM STARDOM 1:20Robbins 4:00 6:45 10:20 (R) LEE Tim 1317 State Street 963-4408 DANIELS’ (PG-13) Fri-Sun - 3:50 THE 6:30 BUTLER THE WORLD’S END (R)  THANKS FOR SHARING 1:30 4:30 7:30 7:15 (PG-13) Mon-Thu - 2:25  PRISONERS (R) Fri-Sun - 4:00 6:50 INSTRUCTIONS Fri-Sun - 1:20 4:10 7:00 9:40 Mon-Thu 1:20 - 7:40 4:45 8:15 NOT INCLUDED (PG-13) WE’RE THE MILLERS (R) (R) SHORT TERM 12 Mon-Thu - 2:10 4:50 7:30 1:45 5:20 8:15 2:30 7:458:45 Fri-Sun5:05 - 12:40 AUSTENLAND (PG-13) ThuRobert 9/26 - De No Niro 8:15 Show Mon-Thu - 4:40 Fri-Sun - 1:20 Mon-Thu - 2:10 RIDDICK (R) 2044 Alameda Padre Serra - S.B. THE FAMILY (R) 5:15 September 8:00 Thursday, 26 2:15 Thursday, 26 ELYSIUM (R) Fri-Sun - 1:00 September 2:20 3:50 5:10  SALINGER (PG-13)  RUSH (R) 8:15 9:30  RUSH (R) 8:00 Fri-Sun - 9:40 8:15 Mon-Thu - 5:00 6:45 8:00 & 9:30 Fri - 5:20 Mon-Thu Sat/Sun - 2:20 5:20 8:15 371 Hitchcock Way - S.B. 2:20 3:50 5:10 6:45 8:00 Mon-Thu - 4:45 7:45  POPULAIRE (R) Playing on 2 Screens Fri & Mon-Thu - 7:30 LEE DANIELS’ THE BUTLER Sat/Sun - 2:00 4:45 7:30 (PG-13) 1:40 4:40 7:45 Features Stadium Seating IN A WORLD (R) 916 State Street - S.B. Fri & Mon-Thu - 7:15 Sat/Sun - 1:45 4:30 7:15  BATTLE OF THE YEAR Features Stadium Seating 3D: Fri-Sun - 4:10 (PG-13) Mon-Thu - 4:40 CAMINO REAL MARKETPLACE Hollister & Storke - GOLETA 2D: Fri-Sun Features Stadium Seating 1:10 7:00 9:50  BATTLE OF THE YEAR 618 State Street - S.B. Mon-Thu - 2:00 7:30 (PG-13) 3D: 12:50  PRISONERS (R) 2D: 3:40 6:30 9:15 INSTRUCTIONS Fri-Sun - 12:30 3:10 6:40 10:10 NOT INCLUDED (PG-13)  PRISONERS (R) Mon-Thu - 3:30 7:00 Fri-Sun - 12:45 3:40 6:40 9:30 1:00 2:00 3:50 5:00 INSIDIOUS: CHAPTER 2 (PG-13) Mon-Thu - 1:50 4:50 7:50 7:00 8:30 9:50 Fri-Sun - 1:45 4:25 7:10 9:55 Playing on 2 Screens BLUE JASMINE (PG-13) Mon-Thu - 2:35 5:10 7:45 Fri-Sun - 1:00 3:50 6:30 9:00 THE FAMILY (R) WE’RE THE MILLERS (R) Mon-Thu - 1:40 4:30 7:20 1:10 4:20 7:10 9:30 Fri-Sun - 1:15 4:10 7:00 9:40

THE MET OPERA - LIVE IN HD

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Oct. 16 - DON QUIXOTE

Nov. 19 - ALICE’S ADVENTURES IN WONDERLAND

Dec. 17 - THE NUTCRACKER

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ARLINGTON

RIVIERA

PLAZA DE ORO

ADVERTISE

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fast forwarding through the commercials and timeouts. I’ve been a fan of both teams since I was a kid. Sleep is easy at this point. (Sentinel Says: Thanks for the mention, Mr. Hart, but the Sentinel is just “laying around?” We know we’re not exactly the highest brow publication the world has ever seen but we do talk about a lot of your potential constituents and their interests. We’re just saying. With that out of the way, we are huge Shop fans, Hendry’s is a great place for a book on a Sunday (although we suggest trying the Sentinel on the sand instead of Sue Grafton) and we can get behind tennis at SBHS too. Not a bad day, and ending it with a few sporting contests on the television will indeed induce an easy sleep. Nice.)

MATTHEW KRAMER

he perfect day starts with pancakes at East Beach in my flip flops and shorts, running in the rose garden with my daughter and family playing tag. Rolling down State Street as I check the surf, which is perfect! So I trunk it at Leadbetter in hollow overhead barrels pealing from Santa Barbara Point! Hot tub, with friends. Walk to the store and buy some organic veggies and spiny lobster. A good book or some conversation before dinner. Then change into my black wool tuxedo to view a world famous actress narrate her latest film at the Arlington in person. Afterwards a quick stop by Roy late night for dessert where I run into Flavor Flav (no it really does happen like this in our town) and tell him how much he added to the music world. Watch the shooting stars on the beach and listen to the sounds of waves until the perfect Santa Barbara Sunday ends and I long for the next one. (Sentinel Says: Oh that was you last week in those “hollow overhead barrels” out at Leadbetter, Mr. Kramer, right on. We thought we saw a guy paddling around in a black wool tuxedo wearing a clock. Does your hot tub barrel too?)

FRANK HOTCHKISS

ead the Sunday papers in the driveway and online, maybe wash the car, repair the low voltage lighting in the yard (again), read my current book (probably history or biography) in the garden, in the late afternoon zip out for a cocktail with my wife, Sandi, to any one of our popular watering spots – Chuck’s, for example – and then cook a steak at home for dinner – all the while enjoying the moderate temperatures and mosquito-less air. (Sentinel Says: A little yard work, a nice cocktail and a steak. The Holy Trinity. Thank you, Mr. Hotchkiss, we needed that.

MIKE JORDAN

t’s my mental health morning – or Church of Basketball as Dayna calls it. (She also maintains that my personality suffers horribly for the entire week if we’re rained out.) I’ve been lucky enough to get to play basketball with pretty much the same group of guys for the last 10+ years each Sunday on the outdoor court at a local school. We’re a group of about thirteen 35 to 60 year olds, we all know each other’s skill sets and behave politely, but get our competition fix in as nobody wants to be a loser for the next week. After that it’s a late breakfast at Mesa Café over a copy of the LA Times, usually the corner seat at the counter. I say hello to others I know, chat up the help, catch the sports scores. Great place, they are long time client and friends, and it’s my spot on that side of the hill. Then it’s a combination of yard work catch-up, play with the dogs, check in with the wife, and get ready for the coming week. We just adopted a rescued lab, an enthusiastic 13 month old, so working him into our lives (+ the kids, + our five year old Aussie, + the cats, + the chickens) grabs a lot of attention right now.

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There’s usually an evening walk to DFP or down the Mesa Lane steps to the beach, and daylight months see the BBQ used a lot for dinner. That’s a pretty typical Sunday. (Sentinel Says: The LA Times, Mr. Jordan, the LA Times? There is always a stack of Sentinels in front of the Mesa Café. Try picking us up sometime. Ok, we’ve calmed down. We hear that EIC Matt Mazza recently began playing hoops with you and your gang and that you can be a prolific scorer from time to time. (We also hear that you occasionally call touchy fouls.) Mesa Café is a Sunday Sentinel favorite, so are beach walks with significant others and BBQs. Nice little Sunday. Maybe you and Frank Hotchkiss should do one together soon.)

SEPTEMBER 20 – 27 | 2013 |

w in Voted Best Family Sho

Vegas!

MEGAN DIAZ ALLEY

t’s 10am on a lovely Santa Barbara Sunday. I’m back from a run with my dog – my trusted and loyal running companion Ivy, a rescued McNab. I grab a healthy snack and read the morning news. I look forward to biking to the beach with my husband, where we’ll meet up with friends for a walk and an informal beach cleanup. At 1pm, I meet up with volunteers. We walk precincts for three hours, getting the word out and gaining support. It’s a great time, because I really enjoy meeting voters and hearing their thoughts. People are concerned about the City. They want to work to together. In the evening, I sit at the computer and draft responses to questionnaires and prepare for the next day’s events. (Sentinel Says: We can see the campaign video now: Fade in on the smiling faces of healthy, good looking young professionals dressed in clam diggers and brightly colored sweaters in the middle of an impromptu beach cleanup, cut to a crowd of the same, now dressed Santa Barbara business casual and looking more serious, concerned, walking down a residential street “straight talking” with neighbors. Cut to Ms. Alley, sitting at a mahogany desk with a library lamp on it, brow furrowed, reviewing documents and preparing for an important meeting. (Paid for by the Friends of Megan Diaz Alley.))

Thursday October 17 heatre at the Marjorie Luke T

featuring an ily show in the world, The most beloved fam geese and mice! ats, dogs, parrots. even amazing cast of house-c of physical ow as a unique blend Critics describe the sh traordinary ion juggling and the ex comedy,world-champ performing pets. talents of more than 30

in associate with the Santa Barbara County Animal Service

READY TO START MOVING SANTA BARBARA IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION ON DAY ONE.

GREGG HART 2013 FOR SANTA BARBARA CITY COUNCIL Paid for by Gregg Hart for City Council 2013 FPPC #950748

Experience, Accomplishments, Judgment Let’s Work Together for a Better Santa Barbara www.Hart4SB.com

87 For tickets - 702-527-79 m .co brownpapertickets

Experience

Santa Barbara City Planning Commission (1988-1995) Santa Barbara City Council 1996-2003 California Coastal Commission 2000-2004 Santa Barbara City Council Finance Committee Chair Community Action Commission Board of Directors Mental Health Association Board of Directors Sustainability Project Advisory Committee Citizens Police Academy Graduate Downtown Organization Board of Directors

Accomplishments

Clean Creeks and Beaches – Authored Measure B Clean Creeks Initiative Open Space Preservation – Lead City Council effort to createthe preservation of the Wilcox Property/Douglas Family Preserve as a city park Solutions for Homelessness – Helped establish programs such as Casa Esperanza, Transition House, Low-Income Housing Public Safety – Provided more resources for public safety to address aggressive pan handling, vagrancy and other nuisance crimes Sustainability & Innovation – Increased recycling and promoted energy efﬁciency through Compact Florescent Light Bulb Exchange Program

Priorities

Safe Productive Opportunities for our Youth Improved Public Transportation & Less Trafﬁc Long-Term Fiscal Planning Housing for Working Families Public Safety

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W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

by Jana Mackin

A journalist and a poet, Jana has lived everywhere from New Orleans and Butte, Montana to Saudi Arabia, where she taught English to children. Her articles have appeared in numerous publications, including The Washington Post and San Francisco Examiner. She now lives in the Valley.

Those Looney Rooneys Golf is a good walk spoiled.

– Mark Twain

don’t know much about golf. Isn’t a bogey a Soul Train dance, a birdie a feathered guano splatter and a ball washer... well, you get the picture. What is this thing called “golf?” I pondered long this question as I considered my assignment to write about the game. (Okay, I assigned it to myself.) Ultimately, and with great trepidation, I grumbled, “Golf is a good story spoiled” and began researching the subject at the much-acclaimed public house best known as Rooney’s Irish Pub in Old Town Orcutt, a golfers’ drinking bunker. It was bartender Lincoln White who introduced me to the pub house league of extraordinary Orcutt gentleman, The Rooney’s Golf League. And what a league it is. They are renowned by their Thursday after-work tee-offs at Rancho Maria Golf Club. In fact, just mentioning The Rooney’s Golf League triggers shock and awe among non-Rooney’s players. Stories abound where some ashen-face, trembling player begs Steve Rust in the pro shop, “I want to get out there before the Rooney’s crowd.”

Rancho Maria’s Head Golf Professional Mike O’Keefe keeps The Rooney’s in line… and watches carefully for any foot-wedges or other rules violations. (The Rooney’s wouldn’t ever do such a thing.) “A clean ball is a happy ball,” as Dr. Bob always says.

Chris Clement (left) and Dr. Bob Martinez get ready for another legendary UCLA/USC slugfest on the golf course.

Good call. On the golf course (not in the pub where hearty libations toast the winning score card), the Rooney’s crowd brings a spectacle that fuses Arthurian chivalry, WWF choreography and gladiator blood lust. They blaze snow-white balls down the driving range, sometimes the length of “three football fields.” (According to them, anyway.) A word of caution to any

Simple. Rustic. California.

Savor the Summer

Lincoln White, Rooney’s patriarch, can just putt the damn ball. (Isn’t that right, Lincoln?)

Wouldn’t have a league (name, anyway) without this man: Timothy Patrick Rooney, at home in his pub.

who dare venture forth while the Rooney’s are hitting balls: “Caution/Driving Range/ Enter At Your Own Risk!” Why do you think the “cart” sign on the fairway points up to heaven? What embodies The Rooney’s Golf League legend are two champions, arch rivals, known for fierce combat. Their weapons of choice: Drivers gloved in USC and UCLA colors. Their battles are legendary. (At least among The Rooney’s.) “It’s a blood sport,” said Dr. Bob Martinez, a local Chiropractor and UCLA enthusiast. “Take no prisoners.”

USC champion Chris Clement only eyeballed Dr. Martinez with a look full of ire. (Ok, a look full of faux ire.)

One Hell of a Bargain “The idea came last year when I was taking full advantage of Rancho Maria’s Super Twilight rate of ten dollars,” Lincoln told me. “In July and early August, you can actually get eighteen holes in before dark, making it one hell of a bargain. I was dragging friends with me for fun and had as many as twenty players out there enjoying

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Waylon Nunez, Rick Kaylor, Greg Anderson and Ed Juarez (left to right) won in the four-club format with an admirable score of -5. (So… who buys the round at Rooney’s?)

A little pre-round camaraderie never hurts. Mike Galvin, Joe LeBlanc, Lincoln White and Nick Harlow (left to right) show some mutual respect and gentlemanly manners. (Just wait until Rooney’s.)

That’s the very youthful Sheldon Lechuga, getting ready to compete with himself.

began the first Thursday of August and continue until, well, until it gets too damned dark to play. Instead of playing to individual score or other formats normally used in standard recreational rounds of golf, Lincoln mixes it up each week. Two- and four-man scrambles, rounds from the red (ladies) tees and as far back as possible in each tee box. The two-man alternating shot format was popular. But the bane of Lincoln was when “we played a round where golfers got to choose only four clubs to bring with them that day. That was a challenge for everyone, most especially me. I came up with the bright idea and never had one comfortable shot that day. Probably won’t do that one again.” (His weapons of choice are a 3 wood, 7 iron, sand wedge and putter. Might want to consider that utility club next time, Lincoln.) He is also considering a Ryder Cup format in the future. Look out Euros, here come The Rooney’s.

white ball into a hole?’” But now, after seeing the light, he knows: “This is my therapy. It’s a challenge. It’s a blast.” Meanwhile, Orcutt auto-detailer Rick Kaylor, 48, reminisces, “This place hasn’t changed; it’s a drug for me. When I was seven or eight, maybe even nine, I would bike out here and stay all day. I remember the exact day – what it was like, the weather, the hole – the first time I out drove my dad.” Sheldon Lechuga, 25, is among the young lions of this Thursday Twilight round, and agreed with Dr. Martinez. “Absolutely it’s a blood sport,” he told me with a grin. “It gets competitive and you are competing against yourself.” Sounds great, Sheldon, but I think I will sit this one out. See you at Rooney’s after the round.

Christian Brearley operating a golf cart. (Are you the chauffer, Christian?)

Nice looking cut, Clancy McAuliff, hit ‘em straight.

a cheap round of golf at one point. At the time, I thought it would be fun to form something more of a league that could get more people out and we could play different formats. I’ve met plenty of golfers at Rooney’s who come in after their rounds and I floated the idea to them starting as far back as February. Most were quite receptive and excited to be involved.” “I kind of figured ‘if I build it, they will come,’” he continued. “They did and so it was born. Leagues similar to this one can be found all over the golf world. We’re nothing unique. Just a bunch of guys taking advantage of something fun.” Amen to that. The truth is that The Rooney’s are a bit unique, and Lincoln is too humble. Would-be participants vie for an opportunity to be secretly initiated into the league with 50 players on the contact list and as many as 32 players in any one day. Lincoln explained that the games

Where would The Rooney’s Golf League be without Rancho Maria Golf Club? Family owned since 1970, the 18-hole track is a local course of the first order. “It’s my family’s golf course,” said Mike O’Keefe, 53, Head Golf Professional. His uncle, Jack O’Keefe, is Rancho Maria’s Director of Golf. “The nice thing is we aren’t so corporate. It’s become so corporate in golf. But we’ve really stayed the same. We want to be stable, we want players to know we are here in good times and in bad. It’s cool out here. It’s Mom and Pop.” So what magic draws our putter paladins to venture forth onto Rancho Maria’s undulating beauty of idyllic fairways, manicured greens, epic driving ranges and sand-traps known to swallow any who dare venture out of bounds? While the cheap fees of $10 to play and a $5 weekly league buy in are important, the ease of playing nine holes (or more?), the lure of after-work sport and camaraderie, the proximity to Rooney’s pub specials, in house brews and appetizer menu, are surely also part of the equation. Besides, who wouldn’t want a brief respite from the cursed Honey Do List? “It’s a beautiful course,” said plumber Christian Brearley, 53. “I used to wonder, ‘Why do people chase a little

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GET PUMPED

Faces Of Santa Barbara

by Jenny Schatzle

by Patricia Clarke

Fitness Professional/Life Motivator Jenny Schatzle runs the popular Jenny Schatzle Bootcamp right here in Santa Barbara. N.A.S.M , Cardio Kickboxing and SPIN Certified, Jenny was recently awarded Best Outdoor Fitness Program in town. Her motivation, energy and enthusiasm have created a community and program of all ages and fitness levels that cannot be described. It has to be experienced! Free on Saturdays at 8:30am. Go to www.jennyschatzle.com for details.

Small Changes Equal Big Changes

anuary 1 is always an interesting date. (I’m not exactly sure why I’m thinking about it in September, but whatever.) Each New Year we all make those life-changing resolutions. They typically last for a week, maybe two, before we go right back to our old ways. I’m not saying that’s the case for everyone – it isn’t – but for many of us that is indeed what happens. The intention is pure. But the problem is that we make these huge goals that require a 180-degree change in behavior and lifestyle overnight and it is just too difficult to follow through. So they don’t work for the long haul. And round and round we go. This week’s homework for all of you is to write three big picture goals on a sheet of paper: One personal, one fitness and one nutrition related. (Dust off the pencil, writing them down is key.) Next to each goal write one change that you can make this week that will bring you closer to achieving the larger objective. Small changes, implemented over time and with conviction, equal big changes, people. This is where the lifestyle change begins; everything from eating better to following through with a physical activity to dealing with a relationship, work or behavior pattern you want to change – it all starts here. With one simple step that absolutely anybody can do. I’ve said this before: I am not asking you to change every routine and indulgence you have, that only sets you up for failure. Instead, I am asking you to let go of certain behavior patterns and the past, and to put an end to your self-destructive behavior with incremental changes that you can adopt and implement over time. That’s not so hard, is it? Setting that aside, this week’s nutritional tip is to stop with the whole mindless over-eating thing. Stop eating in front of the TV, in front of the computer, in your car, standing up, in a meeting, talking on the phone… whatever. Instead, give yourself five extra minutes at breakfast to sit down and eat a healthy meal rather than standing in the kitchen or watching Good Morning America. Take your lunch break to the park or beach, or just head outside for a breather. And here’s a novel idea: At dinner, actually sit at the table! Give yourself no distractions, take some deep breaths and eat consciously. This is the inner peace-loving hippie in me coming out (that’s a joke, I’m no hippie). Doing this will honestly lead to you not eating as much since you’re aware and actually enjoying your food… not just shoveling it in. Ok. Here is an awesome workout to help you reach your fitness goal, whatever it may be. And from start to finish it should only take you around 30 minutes. Have fun.

Warm-up: Jog in place – 30 seconds Squats – 30 seconds Plank – 30 seconds Crunches – 30 seconds Jumping jacks – 30 seconds (Complete two rounds) Workout: This one is quick and tough, and is designed to encourage you to work hard. Set a timer for 10 minutes, and start the following series of movements at the top of every minute. The faster you do the series, the more rest you get (e.g., if you do the series in 40 seconds, then you

get 20 seconds rest before starting the next one, etcetera). 10 side lunges 10 mountain climbers 10 pop-ups ow reset the timer for 10 minutes N and do the same thing with the following new movements: 10 squat jumps 10 push-ups 10 bicycles (abs) T ake 5 minutes and do some stretching when you are done.

That’s it. If it’s too much, then you can modify to do five or seven repetitions of each movement instead of ten in each minute. (Remember, modifying is better than not doing it at all!) One suggestion: Set a goal to do this at least three times this week (consider four or five, but three is a start). If you have any questions about anything (or you want more or need a little motivation), please feel free to contact me directly at 805.698.6080 or jenny@jennyschatzle.com. Hope to see you in class soon.

Patricia Clarke is an award-winning international photographer based in Santa Barbara. Her work has been featured in London, Italy, Prague and around the United States. In recent years she has been turning her lens to her own fascinating community. In addition to her local portraiture service, www. yourbestshot.us, Patricia’s fine art photography can be seen at www.patriciahough tonclarke.com. She can be reached at (805) 452-7739.

John Kelley + Dennis Thompson Poker Buddies Extraordinaire

John Kelley k, so they play poker. And I bet they’re good. They © Patricia Houghton Clarke also are big Live Oak Music Festival fans. But the real stuff you want to know about these two men is their commitment to the health and livability of not only our village, but the bigger world around us. I have known John and Dennis for decades now, and have always been impressed by their desire to make a difference in the places and the ways we live. They met on the CEC Mesa Project building committee in the late 1970s. Since that time they have worked together in construction and architecture firms, and are leaders in the world of sustainable design and construction. In addition to running their own architecture practices, they are founding members of several volunteer groups, including The Sustainability Project, the Green Building Alliance, Mesa Architects and now the Citizens Dennis Thompson Climate Lobby. We owe them a huge debt of © Patricia Houghton Clarke gratitude for watching out for our best interests, and the health of generations to come. Check out The Sustainability Project’s “King Tides: A Visual Indicator of Climate Change,” featuring the work of Bill Dewey and Roe Anne White, now showing at Peikert Group Architects, 10 East Figueroa Street. Call (805) 963-8283 or go to www. sustainabilityproject.org for more information.

Write Jenny a letter (letters@santabarbarasentinel.com) or contact her directly with any questions at jenny@jennyschatzle.com. And go get ‘em, the Sentinel is rooting for you.

IT GOES WITHOUT SAYING THAT THERE IS RISK OF INJURY ASSOCIATED WITH ANY AND ALL PHYSICAL ACTIVITY, WHETHER STRENUOUS OR NOT. IF YOU HAVE ANY RELATED CONCERNS AT ALL, THEN PLEASE MAKE SURE TO SPEAK WITH YOUR PHYSICIAN BEFORE ENGAGING IN THE EXERCISE PROGRAM ABOVE. AND IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS ABOUT PARTICULAR MOVEMENTS, THEN PLEASE CALL OR WRITE JENNY SCHATZLE DIRECTLY SO SHE CAN ANSWER THEM. REGARDLESS, HOWEVER, AS A RESPONSIBLE HUMAN BEING, BY PARTICIPATING IN THE FOREGOING EXERCISE PROGRAM, YOU ASSUME ALL OF THE RISK OF DOING SO AND VOLUNTARILY RELEASE, TO THE FULLEST EXTENT ALLOWED BY LAW, ANY AND ALL CLAIMS AGAINST JENNY SCHATZLE BOOTCAMP AND/OR THE SANTA BARBARA SENTINEL.

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SEPTEMBER 20 – 27 | 2013 |

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Plan B by Briana Westmacott Hailing from NorCal, Briana has lived in Santa Bar-

bara for the past fifteen years. While she is indeed an adjunct faculty member at SBCC and has contributed to LOVEmikana, Wake & Wander and Entrée Magazine, much of her time is spent multi-tasking her way through days as a mother, wife, sister, wantto-be chef and travel junky. Writing is an outlet that ensures mental stability… usually.

Falling Into Fall

ast week I forgot to pick up my kid. You read that right. I totally left my child standing on the curb in front of her school. I’m that mom. It was a sad picture. My beautiful daughter’s head hanging low as she meandered slowly around campus, scanning the area for any sight of a familiar face. Every other child being scooped up into loving arms. My kid’s eyes welling with tears as she silently wondered, “Where is my mommy?” It wasn’t completely my fault. Both my girls go to Washington School (go Wildcats!) and for the last three years, short day was on Tuesday. I’m not quire sure what prompted the shift – and, to be fair to Washington, I was completely and repeatedly notified of it – but short day got moved to Wednesday. Short day moved. But I did not follow. I know I’m not alone when I say that September equates to chaos. The shift from the end of summer to school starting turned my family upside down this year. There must be some sort of way to warm up for this plunge and all the ensuing paper piles and new schedules that get thrown in there with it. I’m thinking a webinar would be nice; a how-to master class to better prepare yourself and your children for the train wreck that inevitably occurs when school starts, or rather, when summer ends.

Our Downward Spiral “No, you may not stay up past eight o’clock!” “No, you may not watch cartoons in the morning!” “No, you are not allowed to play outside until you finish your homework!” “No, no, no!” The wheels are falling off over here. It’s not really due to all my “No-ing,” but instead to the backlashes I’m receiving in retaliation as I make an attempt to get the children back on some sort of vaguely academic track. The school train has officially boarded and is departing the station, and I feel like we’ve been dropped by the wayside. The sad fact is that I’ve had a tough start this school year. (That’s right, we’re talking about me here, not my children. Thankfully, they love their school and they have wonderful teachers and classes.) It’s me. I’m the one who feels like I’m falling and I can’t seem to find my way up. The same week I forgot to get my Third Grader, Elli, I also mistakenly sent my Kindergartener, Lila, to school two days in a row all primped and ready for her school photos – and neither day was right (yep, messed it up twice). The poor darling simply hates being groomed and does not like wearing anything other than a ripped up pair of leggings. So, for two (yes, two!) mornings I pleaded and begged and bribed her to arrange herself into something that was photo worthy. The brush battle itself

Off to school! At least I remembered their backpacks and lunches. (Wait, girls, did I remember your lunches that day?)

took almost twenty minutes each morning. And both days, my heart sank when she informed me at pick-up, “I didn’t have my picture today, Mommy.” Damn. By the third day – the actual scheduled picture day for Kindergarten – Lila had already dirtied all of her new clothes. Lord knows I didn’t have time to wash them, so I suppose this Kindergarten shot will be a more accurate depiction of what we look like on a regular basis. I gave up on the pigtails persuasion and sent her off in a dress that had some paint stains on it. C’est la vie. What’s my problem? The Virgo in me is super disappointed in my complete and utter inability to have all the schedules and dates and e-mails together right now. I could blame a large course load at SBCC this fall that has me teaching five days a week. Or maybe blame could rest with the reorganizing of our playroom into an office and the paper/toy bomb that exploded thereafter. Hell, can I blame EIC Matt for this column deadline? As I grasped at any and every possible reason to justify my inability to properly manage my September dates, it dawned on me. This is fall. It’s a big shift. It’s a whole new season. And we just need a little time to get our footing. It will all be OK. (Although I am definitely not OK with spending every Saturday on the soccer field – but that’s another story.)

Dusting Ourselves Off And so, as Lila chased me around the house one afternoon last week with a

Halloween costume catalogue, incessantly obsessing over what she is going to be this year, I realized I needed to change my routine response. I should not continue stonewalling (i.e., “Halloween is NOT any time soon, sweetheart, so STOP showing mommy these costumes.”) but should instead welcome the change and get moving forward (i.e., “Great idea, honey, we’d better start working on that pink princess butterfly ensemble.”) That’s right, I figured it out. Preparation. Preparation is the key. There will be no more falling behind over here. No more missed pick-ups or photo ops. Fall has officially descended upon us. And I need to get ready to tackle the holiday season that lies ahead.

Briana’s Best Bets

pples, apples, apples. One of my favorite things to do in the fall is to take the kids out to Solvang to go apple picking. We bring our baskets and wander through the orchard, taking our time to select the best looking apples for our pie. Apple Lane Farm is where we like to grab them. In October, Apple Lane begins harvesting our two favorites, Fuji and Granny Smith. They will also give you a yummy recipe for “The Best Apple Crisp” that will make you even happier it’s fall! Go visit them at Apple Lane Farm, 1200 Alamo Pintado Road; (805) 686-5858.

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the

SANTA Byo urARBARA S KINNY gui de to

SEPTEMBER 20 – 27 | 2013 |

weekend guide

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• LOVE IS FREE

SANTA BARBARA LIVING

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BE ACTIVE

What: Children’s Peace Book Reading + Signing Where: Granada Books, 1224 State Street When: Saturday, September 21, 3 – 5pm Why: Did you know that it’s International Peace Day? How: Kids are encouraged to create and bring a drawing of what peace means to them.

Don’t Get Mad, Get Muddy

by Sarah Dodge

ear Summer, you’ve come close to breaking our hearts yet again as another sensational season of sun, fun and evening 5K runs are coming to an end. But we can’t stay mad at you too long. Fall’s got something in store for us and we could use your last few nights of light to help us train for a different – not to mention dirty – type of 5K we don’t often see in our neck of the woods. Over the hill and through the vineyards to Buellton’s Sky Ranch (we go) is Muddy Madness, a 5K charity mud run and festival on Saturday, October 5. With 20 challenging obstacles and your closest friends together with icy cold beers, tri-tip and music at the end, this sloppy 3.1-mile obstacle course is sure to satisfy the runner and thrill seeker in all of us. Here’s a little insider tip for you – our friends at Sweat Outdoors have been chosen as the official training program for Muddy Madness. They have posted 1012 minute video workouts on the Muddy Madness website to help you climb, crawl, sprint, balance and power your way through, up or over the obstacles safely and quickly. So get some runs in and do those tailored workouts a few times a week at home (or join Sweat Outdoors in person on Saturdays at 8:30am at Alameda Park). There’s still plenty of time to train, so if you’re willing to get a little sweaty, a little muddy and have a whole lot of fun, we think this race is one for the books. www.muddymadness.com; www.sbsweat.com.

• LOOSE CHANGE

What’ll It Cost Me: This love is free.

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SANTA Byo uARBARA SKINNY r g u i d e to

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What: Waxing Poetic’s First Anniversary BARBARA LIVING Where: 2350SANTA Lillie Avenue, Summerland When: Saturday, September 21, 12 – 4pm Why: The charming boutique is celebrating its first anniversary in style with giveaways (including a diamond pendant!), food, live music and more. How: Go for the cake, stay for the music, cross your fingers to win that diamond… and help Waxing Poetic celebrate its Summerland boutique’s first birthday.

What’ll It Cost Me: Free to attend. We bet you’ll do a little shopping though...

• HEY BIG SPENDER What: Buy a Gourmet Basket Where: I sabella Gourmet Foods, 5 East Figueroa Street When: S top in Saturday, 10am – 6pm, or Sunday, 11am – 5pm Why: It’s like Christmas once a month! How: Enroll in Isabella’s new basket program where you’ll receive local and seasonal gourmet goodies, along with recipes at the beginning of every month.

What’ll It Cost Me: Boxes range from $25 – $50 per month.

ARTS & CULTURE Plum Junk

by Kim Wiseley hat’s this delightful little treasure, you ask? Why it’s a silver spoon that’s been flattened, stamped and reformatted to take shape as a lovely necklace or key chain. Now that’s a creative concept for antique silverware, and we love it. San Luis Obispo artists Jenny Kompolt and Melissa James (aka the JunkGirls) create “beauty from the ordinary.” In other words, JunkGirls collect recycled objects and transform them into art. It’s not just spoons, of course, Jenny and Melissa also fashion greeting cards and decorative ceramic tiles – they even restore furniture. And you can ooh and ahh over it all this weekend. On Saturday, September 21, Plum Goods (we love them, too) is hosting a JunkGirls trunk show from 12 to 8pm where you can get your own customized stamped silver for just $25. Go and create one for yourself or give one as a gift. (Remember, Christmas is right around the corner....) Can’t attend? Don’t get bent out of shape. Contact Melissa and Jenny at www. junkgirls.com for orders.

WINE & DINE Jammin’

by Eve Sommer-Belin range lavender jelly? Strawberry Habanero jam? Drooling yet? We are. It’s time to start jammin’ with delicious, small batch jams from Sweet Lady Cook. This husband and wife team seeks out our local farmers and finds the freshest fruit in season. Their offerings change with what’s available so you are in for a surprise every time you go to their website or see them at local shops like Isabella Gourmet Foods. No artificial ingredients or preservatives touch their wares. You’ll only find quality ingredients like smoked sea salt in their creative combinations like, ah, Lane Late Navel Marmalade. (Wow!) Get your toast and spoon ready because your breakfasts (and snacks) just got a little sweeter. Check out www.sweetladycook.com for details.

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empty storefronts, and said, hey, why don’t you let us put up our art, facing the street, with our contact info? You get an instantly vibrant storefront, and we might possibly sell some art!” So pocket art galleries were born, and it turns out, they help property rent faster because the windows host interesting art, rather than just sitting vacant, looking lifeless.” Milpas will have three pocket art galleries for the event (turns out there’s not too much vacancy on Milpas…). I already hear the excuse, and I’m ready for it (like any decent lawyer with young children would be). “But Matt, Milpas is a loooooong street, I won’t make it everywhere I want to go if I start at the Ballfield.” If you’re really worried about this, then take a bike and use the new designated bike lane in each direction north of Cota. And if that’s too much, then take the shuttle; special MTD mini-buses will ferry folks up and down Milpas for the duration of the event. (There’s also a satellite ticket station at Milpas and Ortega. Don’t tell anybody.) “We know we have amazing food here. We’re inviting everyone to Milpas to try our great restaurants, some they may never have even heard of,” said MCA President Alan Bleecker. “There are some very wellkept secrets for amazing food here that only locals know. But we know it, and that’s why we call it ‘EAT STREET.’” Sharon, I learned, likes EAT SIDE better (like I said, I can’t take credit). Talk about re-branding. Hey, that almost sounds like my beloved Funk Zone…

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I can’t wait for a Taste of Milpas, and can’t possibly express how cool it is to see a whole community come together like everybody over on the “Eat Side” is doing. It’s contagious, folks, and I truly hope that Santa Barbara will respond and come out to support a wonderful grassroots effort that builds on the momentum that

has been gained. I will be there, for sure, with my family. The whole thing is going down from 3 – 7pm on September 28. Get tickets now at www.mcasb.org, or call (805) 636-0475. I also like MCA ED Sharon Byrne a hell of a lot. Not only is she a tremendous contributor and supporter of the Sentinel, she also provided ALL of the actual facts in this column. This may be the first time I’ve ever had real facts in anything I’ve ever written. (That’s a joke, mostly.) Thanks Sharon, you’re doing amazing things and are too damned humble. Keep fighting the good fight; you have an ally right here. Always. Finally, I like helping friends, especially when I at least arguably play a role in injuring them in basketball games. (Or when a project they are working on really deserves it. This one does.) Paul Westmacott, local film producer/editor extraordinaire (Paradigm Pictures), is playing an important role in the production of a new children’s television series about healthy food and cooking and eating called Betty Spaghetti’s Flying Food Adventure. I took a look at it and found something way beyond what I expected, Scout’s honor. Serious names in the kids’ television world are participating (e.g., Twila Liggett, creator of Reading Rainbow… I loved that show) and the concept and execution to date are, in a word I’m overusing generally and specifically in this particular column, cool. They are now raising money on Kickstarter to fund some necessary animation, and I think you all should check it out, watch the trailer and consider kicking in a few bucks. Go to www.kickstarter.com, search “Flying Food” and you’ll see it right away. They’ve raised around $6,000 to date and need more. So go support Paulie (and his jacked up knee from that hoop-related collision last week) and local art. Word. I’m off to play with my kids. Buenas noches, see you on Milpas next Saturday.

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OPEN HOUSE GUIDE

SEPTEMBER 20 – 27 | 2013 |

SUNDAY September 22

Downtown

18 West Victoria #212 12-5pm $2,500,000 2bd/3ba Alma Del Pueblo Sales Team 845-4393 Village Properties 18 West Victoria #104 12-5pm $1,350,000 1bd/2ba Alma Del Pueblo Sales Team 845-4393 Village Properties 18 West Victoria #207 12-5pm $1,300,000 1bd/2ba Alma Del Pueblo Sales Team 845-4393 Village Properties 18 West Victoria #111 12-5pm $875,000 1bd/1ba Alma Del Pueblo Sales Team 845-4393 Village Properties 665 Del Parque Drive #D 2-4pm $859,000 2bd/2.5ba Billy Mandarino 570-4827 Village Properties 1924 Bath Street #D 2-4pm $795,000 3bd/2ba Lynette Naour 705-6539 Village Properties 401 Chapala Street #108 11-4pm $750,000 1bd/1.5ba Michael Calcagno 896-0876 Sotheby’s International Realty 1518 San Pascual 1-4pm $699,000 4bd/2ba Jordan Robinson 451-3222 Sterling 236 Por La Mar Circle By Appt. $595,000 1bd/1ba John Sirois 455-6277 Village Properties 312 West Victoria Street 2-4pm $585,000 2bd/1ba Joe Parker 886-5735 Prudential California Realty 2117 Castillo Street 2-4pm $485,000 1bd/1ba Whitney Schott 680-3640 Village Properties 2012 Anacapa Street 2-4pm $2,195,000 4bd/3ba Robert Johnson 705-1606 Prudential California Realty 1818 Olive Avenue 11-6pm $1,295,000 3bd/2.5ba Ron Harkey 886-9871 Village Properties 1800 Garden Street 12-3pm $1,248,000 3bd/2ba David Hekhouse 455-2113 Village Properties 400 East Pedregosa Street #I 12-4pm $850,000 2bd/2ba Bob Lehr 360-941-3241 Sotheby’s International Realty 1208 Blanchard Street 1-4pm $695,000 3bd/3ba Sam Bayer 222-0088 Prudential California Realty 930 East De La Guerra Street 2-4pm $565,000 2bd/1ba Kevin Schmidtchen 689-6877 Sotheby’s International Realty 1601 Alisa Lane By Appt. $4,495,000 4bd/4.5ba Terry Ryken 896-6977 Sotheby’s International Realty 785 Carosam Road 2-4pm $2,850,000 5bd/4ba Laura Johnson 252-3389 Village Properties 415 Yankee Farm Road 1-4pm $1,495,000 3bd/3ba Robert Watt 252-2190 Village Properties 550 Carriage Hill Lane 12-2pm $899,000 3bd/2.5ba Teresa Salvione 570-7812 Prudential California Realty 1409 Shoreline Drive 1-5pm $4,749,000 4bd/4ba Gene Archambault 455-1190 Sun Coast Real Estate 1927 Camino De La Luz 1-4pm $3,395,000 3bd/2ba Ken Switzer 680-4622 Prudential California Realty 2321 Edgewater Way 1-4pm $1,700,000 3bd/1ba Christopher W. Hunt 453-3407 Village Properties 129 Palisades Drive 2-4pm $1,175,000 4bd/2.5ba Tracy Nelson 246-7288 Prudential California Realty 222 Meigs Road #10 2-4pm $994,000 3bd/2.5ba Terry Ryken 896-6977 Sotheby’s International Realty 2323 White Avenue 1-4pm $750,000 3bd/2ba Bob Ratliffe 448-6642 Prudential California Realty 1074 Miramonte Drive #1 2-4pm $519,500 2bd/1.5ba Kathy Hughes 448-4881 Prudential California Realty 1058 Miramonte Drive #4 2-4pm $495,000 2bd/1.5ba Mark Goetz 895-9836 Coldwell Banker 1850 East Las Tunas 2-4pm $3,425,000 3bd/3ba Susan Pate 895-9385 Village Properties 1542 Hillcrest Road 2-4pm $2,395,000 5bd/4.5ba Elizabeth Wagner 895-1467 Village Properties 10 Rincon Vista 1-4pm $1,895,000 4bd/3.5ba Wilson Quarre 680-9747 Sotheby’s International Realty 15 Loma Media 2-4pm $1,599,000 2bd/2ba Nancy Hamilton 451-4442 Sotheby’s International Realty 805 Via Granada 1-3pm $940,000 2bd/2ba Carla Reeves 689-7343 Village Properties 38 Santa Ynez Street 1-4pm $659,000 3bd/2ba Scott Williams 451-9300 Prudential California Realty 3761 Lincoln Road 1-4pm $1,695,000 5bd/3.5ba Wanda Livernois 252-9382 Sotheby’s International Realty 3945 Stacy Lane 1-4pm $1,399,000 4bd/2.5ba John Comin 689-3078 Prudential California Realty 325 East Alamar Avenue 2-4pm $1,098,000 4bd/3ba Justin Corrado 451-9969 Sotheby’s International Realty 3666 Eileen Way 2-4pm $1,050,000 3bd/2ba Joy Bean 895-1422 Sotheby’s International Realty 3888 Nathan Road 1-3pm $915,000 3bd/2ba Reyne Stapelmann 705-4353 Prudential California Realty 3080 Calle Madera 1-4pm $858,000 3bd/2ba Lynn Golden 570-5888 Village Properties 3639 San Pablo 2-4pm $850,000 3bd/1ba Marie-Sue Parsons 946-4866 Coldwell Banker 3639 San Pablo 12-2pm $850,000 3bd/1ba Lauren Temkin 403-5125 Coldwell Banker 3617 San Remo 1-3pm $799,500 3bd/2ba Bill Coker 689-7415 Coldwell Banker 3708 Greggory Way #2 1-4pm $749,000 3bd/3ba The Easter Team 570-0403 Prudential California Realty 3052 Lucinda Lane 1-3pm $659,000 2bd/1ba Angela Moloney 451-1553 Prudential California Realty 2821 Miradero Drive #B 2-4pm $549,000 2bd/1.5ba Sandy Stahl & Stephanie Thurston 689-1602 Sotheby’s International Realty 3663 San Remo Drive #5K 11-2pm $509,000 2bd/2ba Kevin Schmidtchen 689-6877 Sotheby’s International Realty 2209 Vista Del Campo 1-4pm $1,025,000 5bd/2ba John Gaffney 448-4663 Village Properties 319 West Pedregosa Street 2-4pm $749,000 2bd/2ba Isaac Garrett 729-1143 Prudential California Realty

Eastside

Hope Ranch Area Mesa

Riviera

San Roque

Westside

KEY FEATURES Purchase and Refinance Transaction

SELF EMPLOYED? We have the loan for you!

The Bank Statement loan is designed for a buyer who has been self-employed for a minimum of 2 years. Example: If you have substancial deposits to your personal or business bank account, we can use that income to qualify.

NO TAX RETURN REQUIRED

■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■

Owner occupied up to 4 units, 2nd home, and investment. Purchase, rate and term, and cash out refinance. Maximum loan-to-value 70%. Maximum debt-to-income 45%. No minimum loan amount and $3,500,000 maximum. Minimum credit score 720. 12 months personal or business bank statements. Personal use total deposits, business use net deposits. Cash reserves 12 months PITI owner occupied and 2nd home. Cash reserves 12 months total debt for investment. No Tax Return Required. Irrevocable Trust, Blind Trust, & LLC Vesting OK. Purchase or Refinance. Business Funds Allowed. Foreign Buyer OK.

Through our technology and experience we are funding loans quickly all over California.

GUARANTEE MORTGAGE 1736 State Street Santa Barbara, CA 93101 (805) 687-6282 www.gmwestsb.com

Licensed by the Department of Business Oversight under the California Residential Mortgage Lending Act. Loans will be arranged pursuant to the Department of Business Oversight California Finance Lenders Law License. Commercial and private lender loans are arranged under the Bureau of Real Estate, Department of Consumers Affairs. Guarantee Mortgage NMLS ID 2527 and BRE #01370741. Programs Subject To Change Without Notice.

nOTabLE OcEanfROnT ESTaTE | wEb: 0592563 | $32,000,000 Michael Calcagno 805.896.0876, Nancy Hamilton 805.451.4442

OcEan vIEw OppORTunITy | wEb: 0113662 | $9,750,000 Kathleen St James 805.705.0898

OcEan vIEw avOcadO Ranch | wEb: 0592674 | $5,995,000 Debra Stowers 805.570.8332

Legendary Service

New LiStiNg

Exceptional market insight. Expert guidance. Tailored to every client.

maRIna dRIvE | wEb: 0113744 | $5,750,000 Suzanne Perkins 805.895.2138

EucaLypTuS hILL RETREaT | wEb: 0113733 | $2,595,000 Harry Kolb 805.452.2500

hEdgEROw SpanISh-STyLE | wEb: 0113731 | $2,490,000 Harry Kolb 805.452.2500

EuROpEan-STyLE vILLaS | wEb: 0592651 | $1,599,000 Nancy Hamilton 805.451.4442, Michael Calcagno 805.896.0876

OcEan vIEw | wEb: 0632123 | $1,589,000 Sandy Lipowski 805.403.3844, Daniela Johnson 805.453.4555

mOunTaIn vIEw hOmE | wEb: 0632082 | $949,000 Peggy Olcese 805.895.6757, Maureen McDermut 805.570.5545

bIg hOmE nEaR ThE bEach | wEb: 0592682 | $897,500 Debra Stowers 805.570.8332

SpacIOuS LuxuRy RESIdEncE | wEb: 0592597 | $750,000 Nancy Hamilton 805.451.4442, Michael Calcagno 805.896.0876

wESTSIdE chaRmER | wEb: 0113741 | $735,000 Jennifer Berger 805.451.5484

SanTa baRbaRa aREa bROkERagES | sothebyshomes.com mOnTEcITO cOaST vILLagE ROad bROkERagE | mOnTEcITO uppER vILLagE bROkERagE SanTa baRbaRa bROkERagE | SanTa ynEz vaLLEy bROkERagE Operated by Sotheby’s International Realty, Inc.