A GENTLEMAN’S GAME

FOR THE (LOVE) BIRDS

IT’S THE SEASON TO START SHOPPING, AND LOVEBIRD BOUTIQUE HAS THE PARTRIDGE TO PUT UNDER YOUR PEAR TREE, P. 28

INSIDE THE NIGHTMARE

ROCK ‘N’ ROLL’S FIRST AND MOST INFLUENTIAL VILLAIN ALICE COOPER BRINGS WILD SHOW, HIT SONGS TO CHUMASH, P. 8

SANTA BARBARA

once a week from pier to peak

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A GENTLEMAN’S GAME

ONE STRONG RUN

by Matt Mazza

“T

here’re two things we know well and like to do,” the man opposite me joked, “drink beer and play rugby.”

“Yeah,” I laughed and finished my Hurricane Deck Double IPA at Figueroa Mountain Brewing

8 DAYS A WEEK PAGE 10

Company. “I know a bit about drinking beer but not much about rugby, other than that it’s huge in South Africa and New Zealand and a hell of a tough game.”

It was such an innocent statement, made mostly only to continue a friendly conversation I was having a few weeks ago over a beer with longtime local Doug Lynch. We were talking

PRESIDIOSPORTS PAGE 16

TIME, TIDE & SURF PAGE 25

about the Santa Barbara Beer Festival – which was a terrific success, by the way – and how its proceeds benefit both Elings Park and the Santa Barbara Rugby Association. Doug is President of the Grunion Rugby Football Club here in town, and he’s a real player who has competed all over the world. ...continued p.5

SB SKINNY PAGE 37

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THIS FRIDAY, SATURDAY, SUNDAY & MONDAY ONLY!

4-Day Clearance Sale, PLUS No Sales Tax!*

We’ve just got too much really great stuff, and we’re running out of room for all the new items arriving shortly. So, we’re going to make space by throwing a HUGE CLEARANCE SALE, PLUS NO SALES TAX! For 4-days only, this Friday, Saturday, Sunday & Monday, save hundreds on beautiful clearance items at ‘move out fast’ pricing! PLuS, save even more because MichaelKate is paying the Sales Tax too!

THIS FRIDAY, SATURDAY, SUNDAY & MONDAY ONLY!

INTERIORS & ART GALLERY ShowcaSing Extraordinary EuropEan and amErican dESignEd furniturE Santa BarBara: 132 Santa BarBara StrEEt / (805) 963-1411 / OPEN 6 DAYS: MoN Thru SaT 10 –6 aNd SuN 11–5. CLoSEd WEd. www.michaELKatE.com *due to manufacturer agreements we must exclude Ekornes, american Leather and BdI from the no-tax promotion.

131107 SENT

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It’s not just living in Santa Barbara, It’s LIVING Santa Barbara

CONSIDER THE AMENITIES OF THE CASITAS

R

eady to retire someday, downsize a bit, but not so much that you feel smothered?

Consider the amenities of the Casitas at Ennisbrook in Montecito. The original developers unit with premium lot is available for your inspection. Consider that it features 2 master suites, one upstairs and one downstairs and both with fi replaces. There is a new kitchen and much more. This is the place you want to check out at www.taylorinsb.com It is offered for your consideration at a reduced price of $2,675,000

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3

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35 years 2 0 1 3 - 2 0 14

&

at

MAW Hahn Hall

Join SBCO and Rob Kapilow for

mUSICALLY eNGAGING eXPERIENCES NOV. 16, 2013 • 7:30

What Makes It Great?

Mozart’s “Jupiter” Symphony

PHOTO: MEGHAN KRAUSS – WITH PERMISSION FROM THE BANFF CENTRE

Take a trip to the fifth planet from the Sun with SBCO for our first MEE concert of the year! Mozart’s Symphony No. 1 in C Major is nicknamed the Jupiter Symphony, but not by Mozart.

NOV. 17, 2013 • 4:30

Content

Join us for SBCO’s 2013-2014 season at the beautiful Music Academy of the West’s Hahn Hall!

December 10, 2013 at 7:30pm

String Triple Heiichiro Ohyama, Conductor

MOZART Divertimento No. 2, K.125b (137) in B Major (1722) RUTTER Suite for Strings (20th Century) SCHUBERT String Quartet in D minor, D. 810 (1824) “Death and the Maiden” (arr. by Gustav Mahler)

we’ve moved

EasyLift transportation from the Lobero Theater available!

Call the SBCO Office at 966-2441 to make a reservation.

Visit www.sbco.org for more details!

Programs, artists and performance dates are subject to change.

COVER

Mazza’s Missive – Editor-in-Chief Matt Mazza learns – the hard way – that rugby is in fact a gentleman’s game up at Eling’s Park with the Grunion Rugby Football Club of Santa Barbara.

P.4 P.6 P.7

Table of Contents – Wow. Really? You are looking right at it.

P.8

ust & Cover – Jeremy Harbin talks with the incomparable Alice Cooper and sets the Wikipedia D record straight before the Nightmare comes to the Chumash Casino Resort. (Terrific, hilarious column, Jeremy, straight up. Alice Cooper is the man.)

P.9 P.10 P.12

The Beer Guy – Zach Rosen goes inside the new Telegraph Brewery in the first of a two-part series. He also drinks beer. And he likes it.

It’s Crime Time – Horse dog pretty colors geometric skeleton death. Public nudity and defecation.

Rosa boys are still the same. Et cetera.

L etters to the Editor – Everything from Paradise Café and Kenyan education issues to electoral politics, sovereign debt, antibiotic resistant superbugs, solving the homeless problem, age discrimination and lots more.

Eight Days a Week – Jeramy loves the Beadles and Jim and Pal. He also knows quite a bit about what’s going on in town this week. Check it out… and tell ‘em 8 Days sent ya!

Santa Barbara View – Election results and analysis by Sharon Byrne; Loretta Redd brings a poignant social commentary piece on addiction culture and kids (this is brutally honest and should be read by everybody… nicely done, Loretta); Ray Estrada returns with his business beat.

P.14

Man About Town – Mark Léisuré is all about live theatre and music this week. He is really excited for Out of the Box Theatre Company’s stage adaptation of Stephen King’s Carrie. (Hey Mark, don’t go covering yourself in pigs’ blood and getting all telekinetic on us.)

P.16 P.22

Presidio Sports – All the local sports and scores, as well as KEYT Sports Anchor and host of Friday Football Focus Mike Klan’s NFL Picks for Charity.

In the Garden with Mr. GreenJeans – Randy Arnowitz finally completes his series on orchids.

There is disagreement among local green thumbs about the potting and mounting techniques Randy discusses in this installment, but there is total unanimity on the fact that he has officially beaten the orchid horse to death. (Randy, what about winter veggies? Anything to write about there? Randy?)

FamilyMusik Green Eggs & Hamadeus!

The wacky world of Dr. Seuss comes alive in this fun concert! It is a merry, whiz-bang romp through the Seuss classic, Green Eggs & Ham and includes Mozart’s Eine kleine Nachtmusik—“a little night music.”

P.23

Pump It – Jenny Schatzle and Josiah Hamilton are so inspiring that the Sentinel has decided to sponsor a couple lucky readers through Jenny’s program. Better go read to figure this out… there’s not much time to submit your plea for sponsorship on our Facebook page. Oh, and Jenny’s got a gnarly Tabada workout this week, so go do it.

P.26

Mad Science – Rachelle Oldmixon is left with a big bag of fun-sized Halloween candy and a nasty tummy ache. Why is she drawn to the bowl time and time again? Why is she a slave to the sucrose? Why is she high on dopamine? (What’s with all the questions?)

P.28

Shop Girl – Kateri Wozny is a fashionable bird that flies around with clothes and jewelry. (Or something like that.) She likes Lovebird Boutique & Jewelry Bar quite a bit and not only wrote about it but left with a cute cardigan. Double bonus!

P.30

Howlin’ at the Moon – An unexpectedly prolific Joseph Timmons hits Costa de Oro Winery in Santa Maria and likes what he… hears? (Wait, Joseph, aren’t you supposed to put wine in your mouth? What the hell is this column about, anyway?)

P.34 P.36

Girl About Town – The Sentinel’s own Julie Bifano spends some quality time at SB Open Streets with her point and shoot. And she points and shoots. And talks to people. And smiles a lot.

You Have Your Hands Full – Mara Peters hates the holidays. (No really, we think she might.) Every parent dreading the impending eight weeks should read this. It will put a smile on your face and let you know that it will all be all right. (Well, at least there’s a chance it will all work out.)

P.37

Santa Barbara Skinny – The Skinny chicks bring us eco-conscious bamboo ski poles and mouthwatering dishes from The Lark. And the Weekend Guide will make you feel like you’re cool and know what’s happening even if you aren’t and you don’t.

P.39

Keepin’ It Reel – Priorities, priorities. Jim Luksic has so many movies to see and so little time to see them. What’s he seen this week? Spoiler alert: One flick involves old guys and Las Vegas and the other involves a horny flight attendant. (Ah, Jim, this is a family paper. Can we keep the reviews of adult films to a minimum please?)

P.42 P.43

Realtors in Rectangles – That pretty much says it all.

Open House Directory – So does that.

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...continued from COVER

MAZZA’S MISSIVE

And that’s the ball bouncing over the head of the player next to me, just before I grabbed hold of the damned thing and ran like hell.

by Matt Mazza

That’s me, Number 14, holding my position on the flank, just before the ball came my way.

“Don’t know much about rugby?”

Doug’s a friendly guy and he was still smiling brightly. “It’s a gentleman’s game, filled with sportsmanship and camaraderie. The boys can be a bit ‘tough,’ I suppose, out on the pitch, but it’s all in good fun. After a match, the home squad always takes the visitors out for a pint and meal. It’s quite an experience, rugby.”

He went on to regale me with fantastic

stories from faraway lands – Doug traveled extensively as a consultant in the oil and gas business and played everywhere from Scotland to Australia to Hong Kong to New Zealand and beyond – and explain the basics of the game for which he very clearly has a real passion.

“No matter where I was in the world, I’d just look up the local rugby club and go out for a run, and it was like I had family

And that’s me in the grey shorts on the bottom of the pile, just after I’d released the ball between my legs and behind me.

(Sort of like giving birth, I think.)

wherever I went,” he reminisced. “And that still happens here with the Grunions; a guy comes into town for business, gives us a call, comes out and practices with us, and we go out for a beer. Like I said, it’s quite an experience.”

“Sounds amazing,” I said, and I meant it.

“Well why don’t you come out for a

run?” he asked, still smiling. Still friendly.

“We have an exhibition match coming up in a few weeks, I can get you out on the pitch.”

Doug was serious.

And then I sensed it. From somewhere underneath that smile and that friendly demeanor, Doug was sizing me up, daring ...continued p.18

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It'sCrimetime... ...with the SBPD

A variety of crimes are committed every day in Santa Barbara; most of these crimes are petty but they do offer a window into if not the soul of the perpetrator, at least his or her thought process. Our following (and totally unsolicited) thoughts, observations and comments are put forth for your consideration.

Trip Out

A

20-year-old Santa Barbara man caused a large enough disturbance in a State Street restaurant one evening last week that employees ran out on to the sidewalk and actually flagged officers down. (It takes a lot for restaurant workers to do something like that. Seriously.) SBPD immediately saw that the young man had “dilated pupils,” “odd and unusual speech patterns” and a “lack of convergence.” (That’s a failure of the eyes to move closer together as an object gets closer to the middle of the face.

Think kids making themselves crossed-eyed by toughing their index fingers to their noses and giggling uncontrollably.)

All of these symptoms are consistent with those that might be exhibited by a person under the influence of a hallucinogenic drug. Like, ah, we don’t know, ‘shrooms or acid or something.

When officers asked the man whether he had ingested any such drugs, he responded, “Horse dog pretty colors geometric skeleton death.” Then he started licking the squad car’s bumper while petting a fire hydrant and sweating profusely.

You Can Lead a Horse (That’s High on Ecstasy) to Water…

A 33-year-old local man staggered up to officers in front of a (different) restaurant on State Street and demanded that they arrest him immediately near midnight one night last week. The cops tried to walk away but he blocked their path and repeated his demand. This rather strange sequence of events went on for some time.

Eventually, restaurant management asked everybody to please move on since the whole (ridiculous) scene was causing a disturbance for patrons.

Eureka!

The man refused to leave, instead staring officers down and demanding, “Take me in.” He finally got what he wanted all along and was arrested for public intoxication. A search incident to arrest revealed some ecstasy in his pocket.

Which, naturally, the man accused SBPD of planting on him.

Classic.

Publisher • Tim Buckley | Editor-in-Chief • Matt Mazza Design/Production • Trent Watanabe Contributing Partners Opinion • sbview.com | Sports • Presidiosports.com Santa Barbara Skinny • SantaBarbaraSkinny.com

Columnists

Valley Girl • Jana Mackin | You Have Your Hands Full • Mara Peters Plan B • Briana Westmacott | The Dish • Wendy Jenson Journal Jim • James Buckley | Real Estate • Michael Calcagno Commercial Corner • Austin Herlihy | The Weekly Capitalist • Jeff Harding Man About Town • Mark Leisure | In The Garden • Randy Arnowitz The Beer Guy • Zach Rosen | The Mindful Word • Diana M. Raab Girl About Town • Julie Bifano | In The Zone • Jeremy Harbin Mad Science • Rachelle Oldmixon | Keepin’ It Reel • Jim Luksic Pump It • Jenny Schatzle | Faces Of Santa Barbara • Patricia Clarke Photographer • Wendi Mazza

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133 EAST DE LA GUERRA STREET, #182, Santa Barbara 93101 How to reach us: 805.845.1673 • E-MAIL: matt@santabarbarasentinel.com

CRIME TIME QUOTE OF THE WEEK “No, I’ll see you in court.”

- A drunken and slurring 25-year-old man to officers in response to the dreaded “In Case of Emergency Notify” question – which was apparently seriously misunderstood – just after he was arrested for sending offensive and threatening text messages and kicking his roommate’s door down for no apparent reason.

Meth Cycling Morons A 39-year-old transient man on a bike rolled through a Westside stop sign and was stopped by SBPD for a traffic violation. He failed a bunch of field sobriety tests and was arrested for being under the influence of drugs; then officers found a bent spoon and syringes filled with meth in his pocket.

Oops. Another meth user did it again.

There was at least one other biker arrested for meth possession and related charges (including a felony warrant). We’ll spare you the details. (Actually, you pretty much already know them if you’ve been reading this column for the past month.)

What can we say, meth-freaks? We warned you to stop getting high and biking around with that crap on you.

It’s a bust.

We Need More Transient Male Public Nudity and Defecation A 39-year-old homeless man in Plaza del Mar – you know, the plaza down by the sea? – was seen by SBPD not wearing his pants last week. Officers approached to find him highly intoxicated (surprise!) and uncooperative, especially when they asked him to put his pants back on. (He’d pooped in them earlier, so that was a little uncomfortable.)

He was eventually arrested for public intoxication. Oh, and he had two $10,000 felony warrants.

Hey kids, want to go to the park?

Rosa Boys Haven’t Changed Much in Twenty Years SBPD responded to a disturbance call on the Mesa late one night last week. Officers pulled up to a house in their squad car, got out, identified themselves and approached two 18-year-old young men holding beers near the front door. When the drunk kids finally realized what was happening, they threw down their brews and took off running.

One wasn’t caught.

The other was.

He had two twelve-ounce MGDs in his pockets and was from the great City of Santa Rosa, boyhood home to Editor-in-Chief Matt Mazza.

Hey Matt, we hear that lots of young men from Santa Rosa behave this way. Is it true?

(Editor’s Note: That is patently ridiculous. Young men from Santa Rosa are of the highest quality and caliber and I am personally offended by your insinuating remarks. We only drank mind-bogglingly big numbers of Keystone Lights out of obscenely large beer bongs.

(That’s a joke.) I need new Crime Time writers. (That’s not.) – MSM)

What Happened?

An upstanding 50-year-old Santa Barbara man was dropped off at the downtown police station by a cab after he couldn’t remember his address. He also couldn’t remember how many drinks he’d had or that he’d staggered into a cab in the first place, and he only realized that he’d been arrested when he woke up the next morning laying on the floor of the drunk tank, spooning with an incarcerated and rather intoxicated transient man and staring at a dry baloney on white that had been tossed his way.

Classy.

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Letters

Although you might not believe it, we actually want to hear from you. So if you have something you think we should know about or you see something we've said that you think is cretinous (or perspicacious, to be fair), then let us know. There's no limit on words or subject matter, so go ahead and let it rip to: Santa Barbara Sentinel, Letters to the Editor, 133 East De La Guerra Street, No. 182, Santa Barbara, California 93101. You can also leap into the 21st century and email us at letters@santabarbarasentinel.com.

PARADISE CAFÉ

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7

READY FOR WINTER? We are! New gear arriving daily!

M

att, loved your article about one of Santa Barbara’s treasures, the “historic” Paradise Café (The Legend Continues, Vol. 2, Issue 42). When the restaurant first opened and they wanted to change the neon sign name from “La Paloma Café” to “Paradise Café,” the Historic Landmarks Committee turned them down, stating that neon was not allowed in the Landmarks District. You could repair an existing sign but, if you replaced it, then it needed to conform to the “no neon” rule. Needless to say, the decision got appealed to the City Council.

As a member of the City Council at the time, when I asked the Landmarks Committee what they would do if we modified the Arlington Theatre neon sign, they indicated that we would have to take it down, too. After much discussion, including about the fact that the word “Paradise” had the same number of letters in it as “La Paloma,” the City Council determined that if you just changed one of the words, but not the whole sign, then it wouldn’t technically be a replacement of the sign. So, the end result was that the word “Paradise” got added in one color and the old original “Café” portion of the sign remained in the original color!

Hal Conklin Former Mayor/Council Member (Editor’s Note: Terrific letter, Hal, thanks for writing in. I really enjoyed hearing the story of the sign from Randy Rowse when we spoke that morning at the Paradise and he did mention quite a related fight at City Council, but I didn’t know the reason for the two colors… I suppose I just figured it was an aesthetic choice and didn’t ask about it.

(Litigation attorneys around town are cringing, wondering how a Boalt Hall-educated lawyer didn’t ask the right question in a deposition-like interview of a local business ownercum-City Councilmember. Sorry y’all, I missed one.) I love the detail and it reminds me of ...continued p.31

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Dust&Cover

Alice Cooper brings the same show he brings to Wembley Arena to the Chumash Casino Resort on Thursday, November 21.

by Jeremy Harbin

Learning to write by tracing the artist bios on the backs of album covers, Jeremy Harbin spent his formative years in the Southern state of Georgia, but please don’t hold that against him – since becoming a resident of Santa Barbara, he’s gotten used to the local customs (rolling through stop signs and complaining about fog). He immediately regretted his rock-writing self-education when he realized all that record sleeve scrawling decreased the eBay appeal of his collection. Have your record reviewed or local music news covered by emailing dustandcover@gmail.com.

[citation needed]:

Alice Cooper Sets the Record Straight

A

quick admission: Wikipedia is an easy place to start when conducting pre-interview research, especially when you’re on short notice that you’ll be speaking to a cultural icon like Alice Cooper.

It’s a website, an online encyclopedia, that doesn’t have the best reputation. Since anyone can contribute, a lot of erroneous and grammatically atrocious information can appear on any entry at any time. But don’t worry. An army of Wikipedians (their word) patrol the site to ensure that when you need a refresher on a shock

rocker known for an elaborate stage show and a handful of hit songs like School’s Out and No More Mr. Nice Guy, you’re getting only the most pertinent, accurate information possible.

On every Wikipedia page, there’s a tab on the top left corner labeled “talk.” This is where the Wiki-guardians go to avoid the pain of being alive by dissecting the semantics, ambiguities and minutiae of a subject’s page. The most common tool this ilk wields to refute a claim is the “citation needed” tag. It can be found on almost any page across the site,

foregrounding the thought resting at the back of every casual user’s mind: this might not be true.

It’s all enough to make you wish you could just flat-out ask Alice Cooper himself about the contested factoids on his Wikipedia page. Sure, he popularized the marriage of rock ‘n’ roll to outsized imagery before other bands caught on to the same trick, but what colleges did he apply to after senior year?

Well, here comes a second admission.

Sometimes an artist’s road manager calls you from Florida and tells you that Alice Cooper is stuck in Disney World traffic.

Then he calls you back a few minutes later

and puts Alice Cooper on the line. And then you can explain all of this to him and just ask whatever you want.

Sentinel: So this first one is from the “early life” section of your page. It says you gained admission to the University of Arizona, University of Colorado and University of California Davis, but you declined all three offers. Is that true?

Alice Cooper: No. I went to Glendale Community College and I was in a band.

We were just basically trying to make our parents feel good that we went to

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...continued p.24

Guitar: Suhr, Modern Carve Top in Trans Purple Burst Leonard Schwartz, General Manager/Executive Chef, Lucky's, 1279 Coast Village Road, Montecito

“Alice Cooper has been making music since 1964. “KISS, UFO, Priest and Maiden” started AFTER Alice Cooper. Please, get your facts straight before making a fool of yourself.”

– Zanders5k

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by Zach Rosen

Telegraph’s New Brewery: Part One Hard at work in the brewery… nice technique on the hose there, Paul Rey!

Zach Rosen is a Certified Cicerone® and beer educator living in Santa Barbara. He uses his background in chemical engineering and the arts to seek out abstract expressions of beer and discover how beer pairs with life.

risk of infecting their beers with unwanted critters.

Now safely equipped with a second bottling system, this will be the first time that Telegraph has put their sour beers in bottles. Obscura Vulpine and their other different sour beers have blown me away so it is exciting to see that their barrel program will be majorly expanding.

The new brewery has a full barrel room with the capacity to hold up to fifty barrels. Brian plans to buy several foudres for the barrel room. These very large barrels can easily hold more than ...continued p.27

I

’ve mentioned Telegraph Brewing in this column a number of times but with their new brewery now open, I think it is time for me to really discuss them. Telegraph Brewing was Santa Barbara’s first production brewery and I’m sure by now most people are familiar with the sight of their tap handles adorning the draft selection of Santa Barbara’s restaurants and bars. Since opening in 2006, Telegraph has progressed from having their bottles in a few stores around town to representing Santa Barbara in five states.

Telegraph’s hard work over the years has paid off. And their location is a reflection of that.

If you’ve ever visited the old, tan rectangular building, don’t worry, you won’t have to travel far to find the new brewery. It’s located immediately next door at 418 North Salsipuedes Street.

I recently stopped by the brewery to discuss the expansion with Owner and Brewmaster Brian Thompson. Even on a weekday afternoon, the tasting room was full of people sampling beers and enjoying the warm fall day.

Nice spot for a great beer.

The New Setup

The new brewery is set in a 10,000 square foot building, which is actually a WWII-era quonset hut. The entrance leads into a 1,500 square foot tasting room that has a more modern feel with stainless steel counter tops and angled walls lined with aged wood. The front of the building is made of frosted glass and the room fills with natural light coming from the Santa Barbara sun. This blend of the modern décor and the vintage, arched building embodies Telegraph’s goal of blending European brewing techniques with California ingredients.

For the new location, Telegraph sold their old brewing system and replaced it with one twice as large, allowing them to produce 30 barrels (1 barrel is 31 gallons)

of wort (unfermented beer) at a time. The four vessel system (their previous one was three) gives them more flexibility in their brewing process and a quicker brew cycle.

Brian mentioned that in the old brewery, demand for California Ale and White Ale, their two best sellers, limited their ability to brew Telegraph’s other offerings. With the added production capacity they will now be able to brew more of their specialty beers, like the smooth, robust Rhinoceros Ale or their active, tangy Reserve Wheat.

Not all of their old equipment has left though. They have kept their previous bottling machine, which will allow them to start bottling their different barrel-aged sour beers. Sour beers are fermented with a variety of different microorganisms, not just brewer’s yeast.

While this creates a complex set of flavors, these microorganisms tend to be far more robust than brewer’s yeast and can set up home in the nooks and crannies of a brewery, contaminating any beer they come into contact with. Brewers who produce sour beers therefore use separate equipment to avoid the

9

Visit our main production facility and taproom at:

45 Industrial Way Buellton, CA 93427 (805) 694-2252

Or if you’re in Santa Barbara, visit our new tasting room in the Funk Zone at: 137 Anacapa St., Suite F, Santa Barbara, CA 93101 (805) 694-2255

• SERVING FOOD BY THE LUCKY PENNY •

www.figmtnbrew.com

*(Live Music)

Weekly Happenings in Santa Barbara:

11/8 FRI: *TODD HANNIGAN AND SLEEPING CHIEF (5-8PM) 11/9 SAT: *THE CAVERNS (5-8PM) 11/10 SUN: NFL SUNDAY TICKET 11/11 MON: MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL $4 PINTS FOR 4 HOURS FROM 4-8PM 11/12 TUES: GAME NIGHT/QUIZ NIGHT (6PM-CLOSE) 11/13 WED: BENEFIT TAPHANDLE DAY!! ENGINEERS WITHOUT BORDERS 11/14 THURS: STUDENT ID- $1 OFF 11/15 FRI: *ALASTAIR GREENE BAND (5-8PM) 11/16 SAT: *MOLLY RINGWALD PROJECT (5-8PM) FACEBOOK.COM/FMBSB

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8•Days• a•Week We Ain’t Got Nothin’ But Love, Babe…

by Jeremy Harbin

Want to be a part of Eight Days A Week?

Space is limited, but if you have an event, exhibit, performance, book signing, sale, opening, trunk show or anything else interesting or creative that readers can attend, let us know at 805-845-1673 or email us at tim@santabarbarasentinel.com. We’ll consider all suggestions, but we will give extra consideration to unusual events and/or items, especially those accompanied by a good visual, particularly those that have yet to be published.

Friday

Monday

Wined and Dined

Au Naturel

November 8

November 11

I’ll al-al-always looove you, Eiiight days a wee… Oh, goodness, we didn’t see you there. We were just singing a favorite Beadles song. Boy, that Jim Lemon and Pal McGrady sure were onto something when they penned that one. Well, since you’re here, you probably want to know what this week’s calendar looks like. It starts off with a four-course Opus One Winery dinner with winemaker Michael Silacci at Bella Vista at The Biltmore (1260 Channel Drive). There’ll be a lecture and reception before the food and wine pairings. Chef Alessandro Cartumini has some fall fare for you to enjoy tonight, including a Pumpkin pot de crème with seed brittle and spiced cream for dessert. Reserve your spot by calling 805.565.8232.

Saturday November 9 Swimmin’

Shave your entire body and jump into your finest Speedo; the Fitter and Faster Swim Tour comes to town today. If you’re a swimmer age 7 to 17 or the parent of one, consider this event at the Cathedral Oaks Athletic Club (5800 Cathedral Oaks Road). The clinic will be led by Olympic Silver Medalist Christine Magnuson, who will focus on fundamentals, and world championship finalist Tom Luchsinger, who will talk technique. Register online now at for $79 at www.fitterandfaster.com. It’s free for parents and coaches of participants to attend. Check-in starts at noon, and the event goes from 1pm to 4pm.

Sunday November 10 Drive for Art

How about a nice Sunday drive on the Mesa? The tenth annual Mesa Artists Studio Tour started yesterday and continues today. You can get a map by picking one up at one of several businesses on the Mesa, by calling 805.259.4568, or by downloading one at www.santabarbaramesaartists.com.

Once you’ve got that, you can turn that Sunday drive into a self-guided art studio tour. You’ll be able to visit artists in their studios and enjoy refreshments. If you didn’t pick up that map, just follow the yellow signs on Cliff Drive. It happens from 11am to 4pm today (the 10th) and yesterday (the 9th).

1431 San Andres Street

BoHenry’s www.bohenry.com

Santa Barbara’s favorite monthly happening – Second Monday – is here again. As everyone knows, Second Monday is when you find a restaurant that’s open on Mondays and take your whole family there. Today, we’re heading to the Natural Café. Maybe you don’t like to eat out on Mondays because you “cheated” all weekend with booze and way too much food. Well, all the more reason to go get a fresh and healthy bite from the Natural Café. They’ve got three locations, but we like the 508 State Street spot. Check them out online at www.thenaturalcafe.com.

Tuesday November 12

Well Deserved Spa Day

What do most climbing teams do to celebrate a summit to the top of Mt. Kilimanjaro? Probably take a shower, call family or have a nice meal. Who knows? But the Africa Schools of Kenya climbing team isn’t like most climbing teams. They celebrate by going to The Spa at the Bacara Resort. And you can celebrate with them by booking a little spa action for yourself at a discounted rate of 20 percent.

Half of the proceeds from today will benefit Africa Schools of Kenya, which serves the Maasai people.

You can also check out photos and videos of the team’s climb. For more information, go to www. bacararesort.com or call 805.571.4210.

Wednesday November 13 Lovin’ It

Three words: original student production.

Don’t say anything yet. You might think you’re not the student theater type, but this Santa Barbara City College Theatre Arts Department production Project Love is about a subject that’s near and dear to almost everyone’s heart… love.

Yeah, that’s right. In fact, all you need is love (so sang Jim and Pal from the Beadles). This particular event is what they’re calling a “documentary play.” (A “plockumentary.”) Students based the script on their research and interviews about love. It opens tonight and will run through the 17th, then again from the 20th to the 23rd at the Jurkowitz Theatre on SBCC’s west campus (900 Block of Cliff Drive). Get your tickets ($16 for general admission, $13 for seniors and $8 for students) by calling 805.965.5935 or online at www.theatregroupsbcc.com.

Thursday November 14 Crucial Crucible

Four words: high school student production. Now just hold onto your horses before you say anything.

It’s the Laguna Blanca School theatre department’s presentation of The Crucible, and it opens tonight at 7pm. If you’re missing Halloween, it’s about the Salem witch trials. If you like hot chocolate,

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you can drink it during the play. If you like performances that take place in two locations, this one opens outdoors in the Ruston Amphitheater and then moves into the Spaulding Auditorium.

So now that you know what you’re doing tonight, call Ms. Bergstrom at 805.687.1752 x217 for tickets and more information. It costs $10 for adults and $5 for students.

Friday November 15 Heads Up

Fresh off the thirtieth-anniversary victory lap that was A Formal Affaire: Art-Making in Black and White, The Arts Fund will move into its next thirty years with Heads Up: Beauty, Angst & Power.

The exhibition, which features large-scale portrait work, is guest curated by Nancy Gifford and Susan Tibbles. Artists include Tracy Kahn, Henry Rasmussen and Robyn Geddes. It’s on view until January 4, and tonight’s opening reception is from 5pm to 8pm at the Arts Fund Gallery (205C Santa Barbara Street). See www.artsfundsb.org for more information. It’s no mistake that there are also events at MichaelKate and Wall Space Gallery tonight… that’s just the collaborative spirit of the Funk Zone, babies. So head on down, walk around Yanonali and enjoy some art. Hey, we’ll see you there, but until then, like the Beadles famously sang it… Tell ‘Em 8 Days Sent Ya!

Celebrating Our 10th Annual Sat/Sun Nov 9-10, 2013, 11 a.m.—4 p.m.

Fine Art, Ceramics, Artist prints & cards

Visit 12 Award Winning Santa Barbara Mesa Artists

reate music and learn about how music impacts the healing process.

Karin Aggeler ▪ Deborah Breedon Sarah Carr ▪ Liz Downey ▪ Ron Freese Morgan Green ▪ Bill Hull ▪ Cree Mann Margaret Nadeau ▪ Cathie Smith Erin Williams ▪ Ellen Yeomans For free Brochure and Map www.SantaBarbaraMesaArtists.com Also - (805) 962-5619

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Santa Barbara’s Online Magazine, Published Twice Daily

sbview.com

Election Results

by Sharon Byrne

Frank Hotchkiss and his wife, Sandi, are all smiles upon hearing election results at Endless Summer Bar Café.

Sharon Byrne is executive director for the Milpas Community Association, and currently serves on the Advisory Boards for the Salvation Army Hospitality House and Santa Barbara County Alcohol and Drug Problems.

Gregg Hart greeting supporters at Arch Rock Fish.

Chris Meagher (Press Secretary for Lois Capps, former Indy writer) and Mike McGrew on election night.

sbview.com Y

Also encouraging was that two Indies, Lesley Wiscomb and Jason Nelson, picked up some solid endorsements and placed in that middle-of-the-pack spot. While this is slow progress for Indy hopefuls, it is actually progress in that they’re more able to compete now and become viable candidates, which hopefully will translate to victories someday.

sbview.com

ou see it in the weepy eyes of the broken men and women hunched over little brown sacks of cheap alcohol on Milpas. But also in the flushed faces of the diamond clad set at nicer restaurants, chittering about their European excursions with Grey Goose martinis and bottles of cabernet. You likely won’t see those with shaky hands trying to load the next fix, or

Sharon Byrne

by Loretta Redd

he top three finishers were no surprise; neither was the mayor’s re-election.

What was surprisingly interesting was the race to the death for 4th. There were only 340 votes separating the 4th place finisher from the 7th.

The other interesting thing to emerge is that on the Democratic Party side, this was a showdown election between factions that have been quietly (or not) emerging over the past few years. The three camps: Party of Daraka = Democratic Central Committee Party of Lindaman = Schneider / White/ Landecker Party of Pritchett = Alley The verdict is that Party of Lindaman took it last night, landing two, actually, the top two in this election. Yes, Helene Schneider and Bendy White were endorsed by the Democratic Central Committee, but pretty much operated as their own Democratic party machine.

And they did so quite effectively. This will likely lead to very interesting developments in the future, particularly around Lois Capps’ congressional seat.

Loretta Redd

get the crack rock to light while hiding in the shadows behind a warehouse on Salsipuedes, not such a far cry from the Molly users in the dance club scene up the street.

Oscar Wilde put it succinctly, “We’re all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

We’re numb to addiction in this nation.

We spend billions and billions on police hours, SWAT teams, sniffing dogs, border agents, special equipment, DUI processing, drug trafficking. We tie up our courts and fill our prisons and beat our chests about how those nasty Mexican cartels are turning our borders into Swiss cheese with their tunnels and trucks and panga boats stuffed with drugs, while we alone are their customers.

In Their Eyes

T

Loretta Redd’s diverse background includes being a psychologist, business owner, non-profit director, Air Force officer, writer, speaker, and executive coach. Loretta has served on several Santa Barbara city committees and has been a candidate for public office.

Semi-Official Election Results White Hart Hotchkiss Landecker Wiscomb Alley Nelson Jordan Cruz Kramer

8,788 7,746 6,522 5,577 5,427 5,420 5,237 1,705 1,202 575

18.23% 16.07% 13.53% 11.57% 11.26% 11.25% 10.87% 3.54% 2.49% 1.19%

Randy Rowse offers words of advice to a stoic Lesley Wiscomb while Sheila Lodge watches returns at Paradise Café. (Photo bomb!)

Second District Supervisor Janet Wolf joins in on the festivities at Arch Rock Fish.

David Landecker at Casa Blanca.

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What hypocrites we are.

But I’m not here to advocate about legalizing drugs. We already do that with alcohol, which has had a pretty mixed outcome considering traffic deaths, broken families, and the ever-imaginative, stupid behaviors of most people when they’re drunk.

Here’s irony for you: the Isla Vista Halloween scene, where thousands of students kill off the very brain cells needed for their next exam, comes on the last day of October, which happens to be National Substance Abuse Prevention Month.

A 2010 survey of alcohol use in Americans discloses that roughly half of age 12 (that’s ‘twelve,’ not a typo) and over are consumers. That’s 131.3 million of us. And over 55 million have fit the definition of ‘binge drinker’ within the last 30 days. I’m not saying everyone who consumes alcohol becomes addicted... but when was the last time you went three weeks without it?

Since our country seems to prefer moral outrage, righteous indignation and law enforcement to age appropriate education and cost effective treatment, I wonder where our future generation will find the will to offset the romance, titillation and omni-availability of brain-numbing, pain-numbing substances.

Enter: Barbara Barr. Currently in her 25th year of teaching, with all but one at Roosevelt Elementary. She repeatedly has 100% participation from her 6th grade students in the Red Ribbon Week artwork and poster contest organized

by Santa Barbara’s CADA (Council on Drug and Alcohol Abuse).

None of Mrs. Barr’s students won first prize; that honor went to Irais Pecheco, a 5th grader from Isla Vista.

But what Barbara shared with me was the perspective of a teacher of vulnerable-age children for a quarter of a century, and it is this: we need to talk about drug and alcohol use “long before we think they’re ready.”

Every year, the theme for CADA’s poster contest theme comes from the children. Dream Above the Influence is a powerful image and invitation to us all.

CADA’s learning packet, distributed to teachers from kindergarten to high school, contains another important objective, helping young people to “Make Up Your Own Mind.”

There are people and events in Mrs. Barr’s own life that make her efforts personal. “My own upbringing bridges to their experiences. I want these kids to be able to wonder, to ask questions, to grow... and they can express so much in therapeutic ways through art.”

“In elementary school, kids are usually still protected from drug and alcohol issues that may be in the family,” she explains, “but more and more, children need a safe place of support to express what is going on at home.”

What’s going on at your home? If

you’ve provided an environment of open communication where confidence and self-esteem can withstand the onslaught of peer pressure and marketing campaigns determined to obliterate innocence, you are in the minority.

If you’re a college student cramming for classes, popping street Ritalin to help focus, then blowing your brain and your bank account away every weekend, it’s time for a reality check.

If you’re a trendy hipster who can rattle off blue ribbon bottlers in the brewery battles, knows the ingredients in a Negroni or has frequent flyer points and a wine glass collection from local tasting rooms, you’re cool. But you’re also partway down that road to addiction, even if it’s charged on a Platinum card.

Most of us could use some help in finding our dream without being under the influence. This isn’t a lecture; it’s an invitation to save a child, balance a life and be able to look at the stars overhead from something other than a ditch.

CADA and Mrs. Barr are doing their part... how about we do ours?

Business Beat

by Ray Estrada

KDB Radio Station Up For Sale

A

fter almost nine decades of providing classical music, Santa Barbara radio station KDB 93.7 FM, has hit a sour note and is up for sale, said station manager Tim Owens.

The Santa Barbara Foundation wants to sell the station since KDB ran up a $400,000 deficit during the last three years. The nonprofit foundation bought KDB in 2003 thanks to a donation by Michael Towbes, founder of Montecito Bank & Trust.

KDB has an almost $1 million annual operating budget, but sold less than half that in advertising in the past year.

KDB could be purchased by someone who plans to keep the station’s classical music format. In that case, the price would be lower, foundation officials said.

Proceeds will be turned into an endowment for classical music in Santa Barbara if the current format is maintained.

A Public Radio Capital broker has been hired to work on the sale. Only one serious offer has been received so far, Owens said. He said only 1,000 of the 20,000 KDB listeners have actually donated to the station as advertising revenue continues to drop.

Motivational Speaker’s Work Aids Big Brothers & Sisters

S

anta Barbara County-based motivational speaker Vanessa Prince says she is distributor of the all-natural, skin-care product Nerium because almost a third of its sales benefit the Big Brothers Big Sisters organization.

Nerium donates 30 percent of its sales to cancer research and the Big Brothers

by Ray Estrada

Ray Estrada is a writer, editor and media consultant who has worked for newspapers, radio news, wire services and online publications for the past 40 years. He has taught journalism at the University of Southern California and now runs his own consulting business based in Santa Barbara.

sbview.com

Big Sisters of America. In the past two years, Nerium International has grossed $300 million.

“That’s why I affiliated myself with Nerium,” Prince said. “Because that ties into with the type of work I do and want to see done.”

Prince’s work with Nerium is praised by officials at Santa Barbara County’s Family Service Agency, which oversees the local Big Brothers Big Sisters organization.

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“Vanessa is not only passionate, but she is extremely involved in the community, an inspirational speaker and volunteer, sharing her good will with many people, youth and adults,” says Bonnie Pack, program manager for the Big Brothers Big Sisters of Santa Barbara County.

“Family Service Agency’s Big Brothers Big Sisters program views our partnership with Nerium as helping us to develop more mentoring relationships, connections that have a positive, lasting effect on our community youth,” Pack said. “Local Nerium representatives are already in the process of becoming a mentor and have expressed interest in helping Big Brothers Big Sisters with a proposed Bowl for Kids’ Sake fundraising event next year,” Pack said.

Nerium International’s goal is to become Big Brothers Big Sisters’ largest single corporate partner in terms of dollars raised and volunteers recruited.

A Santa Barbara view photo by Bill Heller.com

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Also good to know is the fact that unlike Out of the Box’s Evil Dead, which featured a “splash zone” seating section, you won’t need a bib if you occupy the front rows.

“You really have to see how we pulled off the tricks,” Eve said. “We’re using some animation, projections for a few clips to do things you normally wouldn’t be able to in a black box theater. And I’m getting good with fake blood. We found a new one we really love. It washes out and doesn’t sting or burn. I hear it doesn’t taste very good. But it could be a lot worse.”

Go to www.outoftheboxtheatre.org for more information and to purchase tickets.

Carrie, the Musical plays November 7 through 17.

with Mark Léisuré

Mark spends much of his time wandering Santa Barbara and environs, enjoying the simple things that come his way.

A show here, a benefit there, he is generally out and about and typically has a good time. He says that he writes “when he feels the urge” and doesn’t want his identity known for fear of an experience that is “less than authentic.” So he remains at large, roaming the town, having fun. Be warned.

Carrie Comes to Town

C

arrie packed quite a horror wallop when it originally hit screens back in 1976. Moviegoers were floored by the bloody gore that ensued when an awkward teen, shunned and humiliated by her peers, unleashed the fury of her paranormal powers. But even Carrie author Stephen King, the master of the macabre, couldn’t have anticipated the disaster of Carrie, the Musical when it first opened on Broadway a dozen years later. It was one of the first blockbuster flops, a huge financial mess long before anyone had heard of Spiderman: Turn Off the Dark. The reviews were brutal, and the show closed in five days.

But last year, nearly 25 years after the original fiasco, Carrie, the Musical reopened in New York, newly reworked and fully re-imagined for contemporary audiences. And while it only lasted for 80 total performances, people liked it,

and productions are currently running in San Francisco and Seattle. Now, the cult classic is coming to Santa Barbara.

“They got rid of the special effects, looked beyond her telekinetic power and made the story more about a teenage girl pushed way too far,” explained Samantha Eve, the founder of Out of the Box Theatre Company, who is directing the new production at Center Stage. “They focused more on the relationships between Carrie and her mother and with the popular girls who humiliate her, and it all came together.”

Eve turned to her usual suspects to play many of the roles in the musical, but to cast Carrie, she found Julia Kupiec, a junior in high school who isn’t yet 17.

“She plays Carrie as a girl who longs to fit in, who dreams of being like the girls who torment her. She just wants to blend

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Alternative Theatre’s Alternative Julia Kupiec is Carrie.

in and be normal. Just that simple idea is her dream. So it’s easy to want her to succeed and you can’t help but care about her as it gets out of hand.”

Several other actors are also actual teenagers, Eve said, including one who was just 15 when rehearsals started. “It’s a pretty heavy story. So we thought about maybe hiring people in their 20s, but when these kids showed up, they were so good we decided it would work.”

Those sort of casting decisions are sure to bring out the parents and lots of classmates. But the biggest built-in draw, of course, is that the new movie version just opened two weeks ago too.

“It’s great timing,” Eve admitted. “But you’d be shocked how many people haven’t seen the original or even know it existed.”

Elements Theatre Collective, the fledgling group that has brought all sorts of new and unusual works to town, doesn’t have a play opening imminently. But Elements is looking to raise a little cash to support its worthy mission of presenting all of its shows for free, pop-up style at unusual venues all over town.

But of course they’re not doing the typical cookie-cutter fundraiser. Instead, we’ve got the Moulin Rouge SingAlong at the newly renamed Museum of Contemporary Art (653 Paseo Nuevo) on Saturday night (the 9th). The evening includes drinks, pizza, treats, a silent auction and naturally, a screening of the movie musical Moulin Rouge. The audience is invited to join in and sing along. And if you still haven’t had enough of playing dress-up for Halloween, there will be prizes for the best-dressed Moulin Rouge-style get-up.

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The affair runs from 6:30 to 10:30pm, and tickets are just $20.

Guy’s New Guy

Were you among the 800-plus folks who packed Campbell Hall for the Buddy Guy concert Tuesday night? It was the first time the singer-guitarist, now a lucky 77 years old, had been to town in a while. But as confident and playful as Guy still is – as he revealed in a 90-minute set full of blistering solos, muted melodies and general all-around shredding – the revelation was opener Quinn Sullivan, who is merely 63 years younger. Guy discovered Sullivan when the latter was just seven years old and has taken him on the road ever since. If Sullivan lacks Guy’s panache and deep soul-blues roots, the kid sure can play.

Mr. Léisuré made sure to shake hands with the youngster during the break, holding the position a few moments extra in the hope some talent might pass between them. Alas, no such luck. I still can’t even type as fast – or as accurately – as Quinn plays the guitar.

More Blues

On Sunday, the 10th, at noon, SOhO (1221 State Street) hosts the Santa Barbara Blues Society’s Battle of the Bands, featuring six local bands including Fortune Blues, Code Blues, Crooked Eye Tommy, Pacific Coast Blues Band, Blues Bullet and Thunder Rose. The

winning band gets to represent SBBS in Memphis at the International Blues Challenge in February. Leo Schumaker of Leo’s Bluesland on KCSB 91.9 FM emcees. And it’s free admission, which goes a long way towards alleviating Mr. Léisuré’s blues.

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Easy LASIK.

Elsewhere in Music

You’d be hard-pressed to find an ensemble more eclectic and educated than TriBeCaStan, a New York City collective that uses instruments from around the globe to create a crazy compilation of colorful sounds. The collective revolves around multi-instrumentalists John Kruth, a music professor who has written books about the life of Roy Orbison and Townes Van Zandt (and who also composes most of the group’s songs), and Jeff Greene, who runs an interior restoration and conservation company that has worked on the Library of Congress, Boston Opera House and the lobby of the Empire State Building. Kruth – who has collaborated with Ornette Coleman, Patti Smith, Violent Femmes and Allen Ginsberg, among others – plays a wide variety of stringed and wind instruments, while Green jams on ethnic instruments from his own vast collection.

TriBeCaStan just released its fourth album, New Songs from the Old Country, and will be playing Reds (211 Helena Avenue) on Wednesday, November 13, as part of its first west coast tour.

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Powered by

www.presidiosports.com Presidio Sports is a provider of local sports news and information for the Santa Barbara community. Founded in 2008, the small team at Presidio has covered hundreds of local sporting events and published thousands of articles connected to Santa Barbara’s athletic community. Please visit their website for more local sports news and information.

by John Dvorak

KEYT Sports Anchor and host of Friday Football Focus Mike Klan chooses his NFL picks this week.

K

EYT Sports Anchor Mike Klan, host of the Emmy-winning Friday Football Focus, still roots for the Philadelphia Eagles having grown up near Valley Forge in Pennsylvania.

That didn’t keep him from taking the Green Bay Packers to beat his beloved Eagles this week in a promotion with PresidioSports.com and Santa Barbara Brewing Company that is raising money for local Junior Lifeguard scholarships.

“I have never been accused of being a homer and I don’t see the Packers even without Aaron Rodgers losing two straight at Lambeau Field,” Klan explained.

Another bold pick is winless Tampa Bay defeating Miami. Klan reasoned it was as good a time as any for the slight underdog to earn its first win against a team dealing with locker room distractions.

Every week, Presidio Sports is collecting predictions from a local celebrity on the winners of NFL football games. Each correct pick will trigger a donation that will accumulate throughout the season.

The promotion will provide at least two scholarships for the seven-week summer camp that promotes fitness and an active lifestyle. For over 40 years, the Santa Barbara Junior Lifeguard program has helped develop youth with strenuous daily workouts, water safety, first aid, surf lifesaving, marine education and competition.

So far, Olympic beach volleyball champion Todd Rogers was nearly

perfect in the promotion’s first week.

Rogers nailed 12 of 13 winners to really set the bar high. Then professional surfer Lakey Peterson took her turn predicting the winners from the NFL’s Week 9 slate of games. Lakey herself went through the Junior Guards program as a Santa Barbara youngster.

The “Local Celebrity Football Picks” will be posted online each week and will also appear here in the Sentinel.

While at it, Klan couldn’t help but include his predictions for this week’s high school games.

“As a bonus I like DP over Buena, Bishop Diego over Mission Prep, Cate and Laguna Blanca to win their 8-man first round games,” Klan said. “But I told you I am not a homer so I will go with Ventura over Santa Barbara and Oak Park over Carpinteria.”

Friday Football Focus will air this Friday at 11:15pm on Channel 3 for its last regular season show. There will be two playoff episodes on November 15 and 22.

KLAN’S PICKS Washington Redskins (3-5) at Minnesota Vikings (1-7) Philadelphia Eagles (4-5) at Green Bay Packers (5-3) Jacksonville Jaguars (0-8) at Tennessee Titans (4-4) Buffalo Bills (3-6) at Pittsburgh Steelers (2-6) Seattle Seahawks (8-1) at Atlanta Falcons (2-6) Oakland Raiders (3-4) at New York Giants (2-6) St. Louis Rams (3-6) at Indianapolis Colts (6-2) Cincinnati Bengals (6-3) at Baltimore Ravens (3-5) Carolina Panthers (5-3) at San Francisco 49ers (6-2) Detroit Lions (5-3) at Chicago Bears (5-3) Denver Broncos (7-1) at San Diego Chargers (4-4) Dallas Cowboys (5-4) at New Orleans Saints (6-2) Miami Dolphins (4-4) at Tampa Bay Buccaneers (0-8)

Phil Womble Ethics in Sports Award

P

rovidence girls volleyball coach Laura Newton is a big fan of junior Ozie LeSage. “Ozie’s love for life is contagious,” said Newton at Monday’s Santa Barbara Athletic Round Table press luncheon, where LeSage was honored as the Phil Womble Ethics in Sports Award winner.

The Womble Award is given to a junior student-athlete who demonstrates the highest standards of ethics and sportsmanship.

“She’s always looking for ways to improve, which is a coach’s dream. And, she always shows up ready to work hard,”

Providence’s Ozie LeSage, winner of the Phil Womble Ethics in Sports Award.

added Newton about LeSage.

LeSage is a standout player for the Providence volleyball team. She leads the team in kills (113) and blocks (24) and is second in service aces and digs (108).

“She loves to play volleyball; she loves playing in the gym, she loves playing on the beach. She’s often down at the beach with her parents, playing,” said Newton.

Ozie is the daughter of Kathy and Don LeSage.

She thanked her parents “for always supporting me one hundred percent and teaching me integrity in sports,” she said.

She also expressed her appreciation for Womble.

“I’m thankful there are people in this world like Phil Womble, who inspire us all so much to be better people.”

Newton noted LeSage’s diligence in the classroom.

“She challenges herself by taking honors class and AP classes. She had a 4.1 GPA last year,” said her coach and math teacher.

Newton said LeSage is also a great teammate.

“She celebrates her teammates’ accomplishments more than her own,” she said. “Thanks for bringing out the best in myself and in your teammates.”

Athlete of the Week Awards

B

reakout performances during a big week of competition earned Santa Barbara High’s Cherokee Cunningham and Mattea Kilstofte Santa Barbara Athletic Round Table Athlete of the Week honors.

Cunningham broke out with a huge performance in the 54th annual Big Game football rivalry between Santa Barbara and San Marcos. Relatively quiet this season on offense, the senior erupted for five touchdowns and rushed for 159 yards in the Dons’ 42-28 win, their fourth straight in the series. Among his touchdowns was an 82-yard punt return.

Kilstofte, the Santa Barbara girls tennis team’s No. 1 player, won her first Channel League singles title after being the runnerup the last two years. The junior defeated teammate and good friend Madison Hale in the final at Tennis Club of Santa Barbara.

Kilstofte has a season record of 29-6.

Mattea Kilstofte, Santa Barbara girls tennis team’s No. 1 player.

SBHS player Cherokee Cunningham scored five touchdowns during last weekend’s Big Game against San Marcos.

She leads her team into the CIF Division 1 playoffs this week.

Athletes named honorable mention for this week’s awards are: Max Vasquez (Cate football), Quentin Tedesco (Laguna Blanca football), Blake Parrish (Dos Pueblos water polo), Peter Ramos (Carpinteria football) and Morgan Nevin (SBCC football).

The female honorable mention picks are: Kelsie Bryant (Carpinteria tennis), Katie Yang and KC Egger (Dos Pueblos tennis), Jenna Anderson (SBCC volleyball) and Addi Zerrenner (Dos Pueblos cross country).

Football

S

anta Barbara High’s Cherokee Cunningham was also named winner of the Gary Blades Memorial Big Game MVP Trophy for his five-touchdown performance in the Dons’ 42-28 win over San Marcos last Friday night in the 54th Big Game.

The senior running back also won the award as sophomore, thus becoming only the second player to win it twice. Bradlee Van Pelt of San Marcos was the MVP in back-to-back years. Cunningham rushed for 159 yards and had an 82-yard punt return for a touchdown. On defense, he was in on 19 tackles.

Santa Barbara coach Doug Caines said one of the core values of his team was handling adversity. At Monday’s Santa Barbara Athletic Round Table press

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luncheon he introduced Cunningham and three other players who came back from injuries and played a huge part in the Big Game victory.

Cunningham missed most of last season with a sprained knee and had been quiet on offense this season until his Big Game performance.

Caines noted that Andrew Solis came back after an early season concussion and made seven tackles (three solo) and intercepted a pass.

Ivan Lazaro recovered from a bone chip and played “an amazing game on the offensive line,” said Caines. The fourth player was Adam Ebeling, who healed up from a nagging calf muscle injury and made 11 tackles (two solo) in the game.

SBCC football coach Craig Moropoulos gave props to linebacker Morgan Nevin, who had a whopping 28 tackles in a loss against Santa Monica last Saturday. He also praised second-year running back Mike Petersen, who hails from Denmark.

“He’s a fantastic student, person and football player; I’m proud to be his coach.”

Moropoulos encouraged fans to come out to Saturday’s final home game against Glendale.

“Every game at home the attendance is double or more than our games away. I’m proud of that,” Laguna Blanca Athletic Director Mike Biermann announced that the Owls football team got a home game for the CIF 8-man playoffs on Saturday.

The Owls will play Pacific Lutheran of Gardena at 1pm.

“It’s a tribute to Shane Lopes and the work he’s done at the school,” Biermann said. “He’s a high character guy, a motivator and a leader. The kids took up to him.”

Biermann introduced two key members of the football team: Andrew Vignolo and Quentin Tedesco. Both are four-year starters who had big games in the 66-64 win over Dunn.

Cate assistant football coach Dave Soto said the Rams won back-to-back Condor League titles for the first time in nine years. The Rams open the 8-man playoffs at home against Upland Christian on Saturday at 1:30pm.

Carpinteria football coach Ben Hallock thanked the community for its support of running back Jonathan Esqueda, who was seriously injured last Saturday when his car was broadsided by a SUV. Esqueda attended the Warriors’ homecoming win over Santa Paula.

“At the Santa Paula game, our guys were very excited about that,” said Hallock.

The coach introduced Terence Ayala and Efrain Quintero and said both players are important in getting the team ready for every game. The Warriors play top-ranked Oak Park at home on Friday.

“It will be quite a challenge for us to play them. We have to be prepared to play our best football game,” said Hallock.

Bishop Diego football coach Tom

Crawford said his team has learned more from its recent two straight losses than it has in a long time.

“Our kids are very, very focused in correcting the mistakes,” said Crawford.

The Cardinals face another tough opponent on Friday when they host Mission Prep, the No. 1 team in the Northeast Division. The game is at SBCC’s La Playa Stadium.

Crawford lauded the hard work of linemen Mitch Oleson and Andrew Burgess.

Tennis

U

CSB men’s coach Marty Davis reported that junior Ziad Sultan reached the semifinals at the 57th SoCal Intercollegiate Championships at UCLA. Davis introduced his new assistant Marc Vartabedian, who won Division 3 singles and doubles titles at UC Santa Cruz and has an ATP Tour ranking in doubles.

Santa Barbara High girls tennis coach Greg Tebbe said he had to talk about players Mattea Kilstofte and Madison Hale together.

“Both are juniors, both have similar records, they’re great friends, and they’re not just great tennis players but great teammates,” he said. “They have a positive attitude, they work hard and they’re fun to be around. They have played a key role in team chemistry. They’re a great reason for our success.

Hale is 29-6 and went 14-0 in singles in the Channel League. Kilstofte, who beat Hale for the league’s individual singles title, is 29-5 and 14-0. Both are outstanding students. Hale has a 4.6 GPA while Kilstofte is at 4.7, said Tebbe.

The Dons open the CIF Division 1 playoffs Wednesday at home against Edison.

Hallock spoke about Carpinteria girls tennis for coach Charles Bryant. He said the Warriors won their third straight Frontier League title. “Thirty-two more in a row and we can catch Santa Barbara,” was Bryant’s comment, referring to Santa Barbara’s 35 straight Channel League girls tennis titles.

Jacklyn Wilson represented the tennis team. She is the lone senior on the squad and has records of 4-1 in singles and 18-4 in doubles.

Soccer

W

estmont women’s assistant coach Chantel Cappuccilli reported that when this year’s senior class were freshmen, the team scored only 16 goals that year. This season 16 different players have scored goals.

She said goalkeeper Lindsey Smith ranks second nationally in goals-against average, and senior defender Amanda Diesen has been shutting down the best forwards in the GSAC. Westmont has first-round bye in the GSAC Tournament and opens play on Friday.

N OV E M B E R 8 – 1 6 | 2 0 1 3 |

17

season has taught her about patience, getting healthy and running better at the end of the season. She posted he first PR at the county meet last week.

“She shows me she is on the right track. We’re lucky to have her. She’s led our girls to their best performance in history,” said Roth.

Micks Purnell, the DP boys coach, said the Chargers are ranked No. 1 in Division 2 in the CIF-SS and in the state. “That’s a testimonial that we have a good team,” Cherokee Cunningham accepting the Gary Blades Memorial Big Game MVP trophy from award sponsor Chris Rabe. he said. He brought two key members of the squad, Tyler Bradford and John Cross Country an Marcos assistant Tracy Jenkins Greening.”

Laguna Blanca coach David noted that the boys team is running so well together that the splits between Silverander introduced his lone girls cross the one through five runners is less than country runner, Nadia Belton. She has 30 seconds. She brought team members been accepted to Wake Forest.

Lizzy Verduzco, Clarissa Davis, Matt Walker Odell and Nicholas Swider.

From the Royals girls team, Juliana Hammond and Luca Jordano represented Logan and freshman Emily Pearlman the Bishop Diego cross country team.

Providence coach Willy Rossow said he were in attendance. The girls finished second behind Dos Pueblos at the county has four runners on his team. “I can take my team anywhere. I can pack them in the meet.

“We’re excited to see how they do the car and go anywhere for a run,” he said.

He brought three team members, Eric rest of the season,” said Jenkins.

Dos Pueblos girls coach Leslie Wiggins Sheets, Kyle Beveridge and Anthony Roth said after lead runner Addi Zapata.

Westmont coach Russell Smelley Zerrenner crosses the finish line, the second through six runners are coming talked about the importance of athletes in 45 seconds park. She introduced getting enough sleep to help them Zerrenner and Tabbie Magner. Cross perform at their best. He said his country taught Magner a life lesson on the Warriors are vying to qualify for the NAIA nationals this weekend at the value of hard work, Roth said.

On Zerrenner, the coach said this GSAC Championships.

S

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...continued from p.5

This is a pretty common site on the pitch; and that’s Doug Lynch in the orange referee’s jersey keeping the boys in line. (Mostly, anyway.)

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me to step out on that pitch. I think he thought I’d turn it down. I mean, come on, a lawyer-cum-newspaper editor?

I have softie written all over me.

But I’m not soft. I’m also not one to turn down a dare. (Especially after one of those damned Hurricane Decks. Thanks a lot, Tony Grimes.)

So I called what I honestly thought was a bluff.

“Yeah, man, I’d love to. Just tell me when and where and I will be there.” I was smiling, casual. Loose.

Doug didn’t bat an eye.

“Perfect, Saturday, October 26, 10am, up at Elings. I’ll tell the boys you’ll be there.”

And with that, Doug stood up, paid the check and started out the door.

Then he stopped and looked back at me.

“Don’t be late.”

Doug wasn’t smiling anymore. This was no bluff.

“And don’t forget your boots.”

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The Grunion Rugby Football Club

Grunion are sexually deviant fish, basically. They come completely out of the water at high tide a few times a year and, well, get weird on beaches all over Southern California. Real weird. And so I can’t say it’s totally clear to me how our local rugby club settled on that particular name – frankly, I didn’t ask – but, back in the late ‘70s, they did.

Perhaps not coincidentally, it was a bunch of UCSB rugby players (go Gauchos!) who’d finished their collegiate careers but wanted to keep playing that really got the Grunion RFC started. And they’ve been going strong ever since.

In fact, there are now not only the Grunion Men but the Santa Barbara Youth Rugby Stingrays and the Fossils – the over-40 Old Boys who still like to mix it up. (There’s a women’s squad as well.)

“It’s actually a pretty safe game,” Doug explained nonchalantly back on that fateful day at Fig Mountain. “The youth players are taught proper strategy and tackling techniques – tackling is different in rugby than in American Football, safer – and how to keep themselves injury free out there. My experience is that players tend to hold on to and even refine those basic skills over the course of their careers, so the game remains pretty safe… even for

us older guys.”

It was a bit of a surprise to me, frankly, that Santa Barbara has been able to sustain a rugby squad for over three decades.

We’re not a huge city center or anything but, still, interest has always been there. At one time, in fact, UCSB hosted one of the largest rugby tournaments in the country.

Yep, the Grunion RFC has played at a pretty high level at times over the years, winning tournaments and trophies from near and far. They take their rugby pretty seriously.

I could only hope that I didn’t make a mockery of the proud Grunion tradition out on the pitch.

Game Day

I was concerned from the moment I parked the car up at Elings.

I’d spent the morning running around to friends’ houses trying to find cleats that fit; finally I settled on a pair that were two sizes too big and required an extra set of wool socks to ensure a reasonably snug fit. (Thanks Hans Miller for the loaners.)

All of that activity had me running five or ten minutes late, and by the time I hit the pitch, my squad – the fearless Fossils – was already beginning to warm up.

(For those of you paying attention, yes, the Fossils are the over-40s, and, yes, I am only 38. I first thought Doug had taken at least some pity on me. But later I realized that the over-40s only had more time to grow aggressive and angry and belligerent, and that Doug had in fact thrown me headfirst into the deep end of a pool laden with crafty old sharks, some of whom were battle-hardened 60-yearold behemoths thirsty for blood. Thanks Doug. Thanks a lot.)

I strapped Hans’s boots on and jogged over, trying to fit in and look like I knew something about the game I learned the rules of only the night before from a few YouTube videos. I mean, come on, I played soccer for years, basketball too.

How hard could it be to fit in?

Very hard.

First of all, rugby is a game that seems to attract abnormally large men. I’m a pretty regular-sized man. And I’m a tiny guy out there on the pitch.

Second, and despite the fact that I like to think of myself as a reasonably quick study, rugby is a distinctly foreign game with foreign rules and foreign terms. ...continued p.20

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N OV E M B E R 8 – 1 6 | 2 0 1 3 |

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...continued from p.18

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This is basically what happens every time the ball is thrown in. (My U6 girls soccer team doesn’t quite have it mastered yet but we’re working on it.)

Rucks, crashes, scrums, scrum halfs, hookers (not the kind you’re thinking of )… the list goes on and on. When these terms are being thrown about on the pitch in a fast paced and strategically complex game that is masked in code and hand signals while fifteen large, angry men are trying to effectively kill you, well… let’s just say that the whole thing seems impenetrable.

And it was, mostly. At least until a few guys took me aside and gave me some pointers.

“Make your first tackle a real [blanketyblank-blank-blank], otherwise they’ll think you’re soft and chase you down all day long.”

“Got it. Tackle hard.”

“But don’t lead with your head or

shoulder – that’s illegal – wrap them up with your arms and hit them low, right around the waste so they fold in half.”

“No head, no shoulder. Wrap them up in the mid-section. Check.”

“Now this is important. If you get tackled, don’t forget to get rid of the ball behind you. If you don’t then the entire other team might attack you, you know step on your hands and stuff like that.”

“Oh, yeah, ah, got it. If I go down, get rid of the ball behind me.”

You get the idea.

Mercifully, Coach “let me” sit out for the first period so I could get a feel for how the game moves and where I would be. (They’d put me out at winger, probably thinking I could cause the least

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damage way out there. I like to think it was because they thought I might be fast.

The pool. The pond. Whatever.)

It was quickly clear – even from just watching the game – that I was in well over my head. Mountainous men pushed and pulled and grabbed and grunted and tackled and generally beat each other without any obvious remorse.

Bodies flew all over the field.

Blood was soon shed.

Tempers flared.

Doug Lynch, the guy who got me into the mess in the first place, did his best as referee to keep the lid on – yeah, that’s right, the damned referee suckered me into this – but the men seemed to get more agitated as time went on, probably as a consequence of the constant banging and smashing and crushing and crashing.

And then, all of sudden, it was time for me to get in the game.

I’d watched the winger before me very carefully and, frankly, he hadn’t touched the ball much. Most of the battle was being fought on the interior, by the bigs, so I was reasonably optimistic.

I stepped on to the field and watched curiously as a huge Fossil ran around the outside of a rather chaotic ruck and smashed into the single largest opposing player. He was knocked off balance but maintained his footing. Then he got right into my teammate’s face and stated clearly in a south London accent: “If you try that again, I’ll rip your head off.”

Cue adrenaline glands.

The ball came out of the ruck a moment later and soon whizzed out of the middle toward my side, where a ball-carrying teammate was quickly tackled hard and brought down.

The ball came out again, faster now – it was really whipping down the line – and I started running with my team, hands up, at the ready. The ball was tipped high into the air by the stingy opposition just before it reached the man next to me, and it sailed over his head.

My eyes widened. Then suddenly, inexplicably, I ran full speed under the damned thing and grabbed it.

And I ran like hell.

I remember being surprised at how fast I was able to go; a performance enhancing cocktail containing equal parts adrenaline, exhilaration, total inexperience and sheer terror had me running a roughly 4.4 forty.

Before I knew it, I was actually free on the outside with only a single man to beat for a score on this, the very first time I’d ever touched a rugby ball, in play, in my life.

But that man in front of me was a big man, friends, a very big man who proved himself faster and more agile than he appeared.

It wasn’t to be.

I tried to go around him but, alas, he grabbed hold of my relatively tiny frame and slammed me to the turf below with reckless abandon. And as my eyes opened ...continued p.41

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In the Garden with

Mr. Greenjeans

by Randy Arnowitz “Mr. Greenjeans,” as he is known around Santa

Barbara, is a gardener, horticulturist and writer. He particularly enjoys working with roses, orchids and sharing the day with his golden retriever Peaches, who faithfully accompanies him in the field. Contact him at greenjeansmr@gmail.com

An Orchid Primer

(Orchids For Dummies and the Rest Of Us) Part IV: Potting Medium

S

ome of you may have noticed that for my last few columns I’ve shared a little of what I know about the growing and re-blooming of some of the most commonly grown orchids. I feel that together we’ve come so far, but sadly our journey is coming to an end.

Of course, what I’ve told you about orchids is just the proverbial tip of the orchid iceberg of what there is to know about these amazing plants. Want to know more? Some weekend when you have a big chunk of time, go check out Cal-Orchid and the Santa Barbara Orchid Estate in Goleta (1250 Orchid Drive) and hope that you don’t get bitten by the orchid bug. Orchids are much like M&M’s or Kettle Chips or Chihuahuas in that once you’ve had one or two there’s just no stopping.

Apart from the numerous varieties of orchids available and the challenge of actually getting one to re-bloom, I’ve discovered the real reason why it’s good to have many of them. When I had one orchid and it got finished blooming, I checked it every day to see if it was going to bloom again. It’s the “watched pot never boils” syndrome of orchid collecting. However, as I collected more plants and stashed them in every possible bright corner and window of my house, I realized that the more orchids I had, the more likely it was that something exciting was going to happen. I couldn’t possibly keep tabs on each and every orchid so as a result I was continually being surprised by my plants – a bloom spike here, a new leaf there.

You get the idea.

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To finish up our orchid primer, I’d like to talk about different types of potting and mounting mediums – that is, the material that your orchid is growing in or on.

As mentioned previously in the section regarding watering, in their native habitat, many orchids grow in trees with their roots exposed to the humid air.

Apart from some terrestrial orchids like cymbidiums and lady slippers, we use some type of potting material mostly to keep the plant upright in the pot and to help keep the roots moist. But, as you know if you’ve been reading, there is a fine line between keeping the medium and roots moist and keeping the whole thing too wet and rotting the medium and the roots.

There’s a good chance that if your orchid has bloomed for a few seasons, the stuff in the pot – no matter what it is – has begun to break down and that your orchid will need to be repotted. Unlike

This vanda (right) grows happily in a terra cotta pot with no bark, while its neighbor is attached to a small hanging log.

houseplants that become rootbound in a pot, your orchid probably will not need to go into a larger container. You’ll most likely find that many of the roots have rotted and need to be trimmed away.

After that, the plant should just go back into the same pot or only a slightly larger one.

There are many types of potting mediums on the market. In most cases, some type of ground or chopped up fir bark is used. Sometimes other goodies are mixed in with it such as perlite, charcoal or sphagnum moss.

I try to go to the orchid growers directly and buy whatever they’re using at the time for my particular type of orchid. I never buy the material sold as “orchid bark” at nurseries and home centers. I find that it either breaks down too fast or is mixed with some type of soil. No good.

Get the good stuff.

There are many theories about what the best potting medium is and even the guys that grow the plants are always changing and tweaking their recipes. If you’ve found something that works for you and you’re getting blooms, then I’d say stick with that.

Many of the orchids that we grow in Santa Barbara don’t need any potting medium at all. If you have a warm greenhouse or sunny and humid bathroom, vandas will thrive and bloom with their large, juicy roots hanging free.

All they require is a regular spritzing with a spray bottle.

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I use a cymbidium grade bark mix to keep these bamboo orchids (sobralia) blooming.

In a greenhouse, this orchid’s roots get enough moisture from the humid environment. No bark!

directly onto the trunks of trees. If you’re like me and enjoy the gypsy-like, tentative housing lifestyle that Santa Barbara can often afford, you can attach your orchids to slabs of cork oak and hang them on a fence or tree. That way they’re portable and can be moved when you have to.

That’s it on orchids, everybody, happy re-blooming.

Randy’s Quick Pick

S

peaking of orchids, The Orchid Society Of Santa Barbara will soon be presenting its Sea Of Orchids Show and Sale at the Santa Barbara Museum of Natural History. Aside from offering many orchids for sale, the show hopes to educate and to promote the ever-popular hobby of orchid growing here in Santa Barbara.

The museum is located at 2599 Puesta del Sol and the event takes place Saturday, November 23 from 10am – 5pm, and Sunday, November 24 from 10am – 3pm. Send an email to fmorchids@hotmail.com for more information, or call (805) 682-4711.

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N.A.S.M, Kickboxing and SPIN Certified, Jenny Schatzle is known for changing bodies and changing lives. Her approach to fitness is about not only “getting fit” physically but also how, through exercise, nutrition and a positive motivational environment, you can change your lifestyle for the better. Jenny’s program and the results she consistently achieves have made her one of the most sought-after experts in Santa Barbara.

Schatzle Schponsorschip!

How’s that for a motivated and inspired group?

M

OTIVATION: No matter how fast or how slow you are going, the fact that you are out there doing it is motivating someone else! (Yes!) And it isn’t just the person working out who motivates, it’s the person who has decided that today is the day and begins the journey toward getting fit and healthy. (Yes again!)

It is precisely this type of momentum that builds and serves as a call to action to those around you. Whether family, friends or community, others start to think and say, “Hey, if s/he can do it, I can too!”

I recently saw this firsthand in perhaps the most unlikely of places. Friend and local real estate professional Josiah Hamilton, who has been doing my program for the past two and a half years, decided that he wanted to make a difference and help inspire those around him to adopt a healthier lifestyle.

So he dressed up as me for Halloween!

I can’t tell you how many people saw the video of Josiah and called in or wrote me asking about the program and how it works; in short, Josiah’s simple and creative (and hilarious!) gesture motivated and inspired so many to get moving toward that lifestyle he and I both see as being so valuable.

Here’s the thing: Josiah wasn’t done. He has generously offered to sponsor two people for a session in The Jenny Schatzle Program so that they can see what we’re doing as a community over here! Amazing, right? See how that momentum builds and grows?

Thank you, Josiah, not just for the generous offer but for the commitment and dedication to the cause. You are really making a difference and I am thrilled to be a part of it!

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Squat jumps Push-ups Jump lunges or back lunges Dips Crunches Pop-ups or mountain climbers If you want more, go back through the set additional times at six rounds, four rounds, etc. This is a tough workout, but it really only works if you are hitting it as hard as possible during the 20 seconds on. So get going, and let me know what you think of it.

IT GOES WITHOUT SAYING THAT THERE IS RISK OF INJURY ASSOCIATED WITH ANY AND ALL PHYSICAL ACTIVITY, WHETHER STRENUOUS OR NOT. IF YOU HAVE ANY RELATED CONCERNS AT ALL, THEN PLEASE MAKE SURE TO SPEAK WITH YOUR PHYSICIAN BEFORE ENGAGING IN THE EXERCISE PROGRAM ABOVE. AND IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS ABOUT PARTICULAR MOVEMENTS, THEN PLEASE CALL OR WRITE JENNY SCHATZLE DIRECTLY SO SHE CAN ANSWER THEM. REGARDLESS, HOWEVER, AS A RESPONSIBLE HUMAN BEING, BY PARTICIPATING IN THE FOREGOING EXERCISE PROGRAM, YOU ASSUME ALL OF THE RISK OF DOING SO AND VOLUNTARILY RELEASE, TO THE FULLEST EXTENT ALLOWED BY LAW, ANY AND ALL CLAIMS AGAINST JENNY SCHATZLE BOOTCAMP AND/OR THE SANTA BARBARA SENTINEL.

We are loving our life in beautiful Los Olivos!

WARM-UP:

Jog in place – 30 seconds Jumping jacks – 30 seconds High knees – 30 seconds (Do two rounds)

TABADA WORKOUT:

S imple, go as hard as you can for 20 seconds, then rest for 10 seconds. Do eight rounds of 20 on/10 off for each movement below:

Wow. We here at the Sentinel are so damned inspired and motivated by Jenny Schatzle and Josiah Hamilton that we too have decided to sponsor a couple lucky readers through Jenny’s program!

Here’s the deal: Go to the Sentinel’s Facebook page and tell us who you are and why we should choose you for the Program in 25 words or less (longer entries will be disregarded, seriously). We are looking for one guy and one gal who (1) have not done Jenny‘s program before; (2) will commit to a minimum of three or four classes a week (the schedule is flexible each day, check out www.jennyschatzle.com); (3) will actually follow Jenny’s meal plan and do the work asked of them; (4) will talk with EIC Matt once a week (that’s a downside, sorry) and are cool with being featured in the Sentinel in a short weekly piece about how you’re feeling, what you’re doing and how it’s going; and (5) will pose for a before and after pic.

That’s it. Want to get fit? Want to get fitter?

Here’s your chance. (Trust us, if it whipped EIC Matt’s sorry behind into shape, it works.

And it can work for you.)

Go to www.facebook.com/sbsentinel and make your case. Better hurry, though, Jenny’s next cycle gets started on Monday, November 18, so we will make our choice on Friday, November 15.

et’s roll with sweet treats this week as the kids have pillow cases full of the stuff after L Halloween and those little sizes make it so easy. But they add up quick and before you know it you’ve eaten a couple full size candy bars.

Gross.

Halloween is over, so it’s time to move on and get the candy out of the house. Sugar only makes you crave more sugar. So throw it out or trade it in or whatever. Just get rid of it. Now. Total time this week is just 30 minutes per day, so you’ve got no excuse.

SENTINEL SPONSORSHIP:

NUTRITION:

WORKOUT:

23

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24 | N OV E M B E R

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...continued from p.8 college, even though we knew we were going to L.A. to be in a band. I never even considered going anywhere to college. I did get my bachelor’s degree at Glendale University in fine arts.

So that’s another one that has a “citation needed.” It says that you were an art student, which is true. Then it says that you’re an admirer of surrealism and that Salvador Dali inspired some of the early stage antics.

Absolutely! Now the thing is, it’s three of the guys in the band who were art majors. Salvador Dali was our hero before The Beatles came out. We were Salvador Dali fans, and never ever thinking that we would ever get to work with him.

Tomorrow I’m going to be in Tampa Bay, where I’m going to be visiting the piece of art that he did on me. It’s the first moving hologram. I’ve got four million dollars in diamonds and I’m sitting there and I’ve got a Venus de Milo as a microphone. It’s very weird. We did it in 1973 or ’74. So I worked with Dali for about a week on this project.

How were you able to meet him back then?

He came to the show. He saw the show as surrealism. At the time, everybody had to go see an Alice Cooper show and give their opinion about what it was. Groucho Marx called it vaudeville. He said I was the last hope for vaudeville, and he would bring Fred Astaire, George Burns, Jack Benny, Mae West, all these people to our show, and they loved it. They saw it as pure vaudeville. Then Salvador Dali came to the show and he saw it as surrealism, because it had a lot of the same sort of imagery. There were crutches on stage and there were baby dolls and there were all these things that didn’t belong on stage up there, which he saw as surrealism. We were something to everybody. We were shock rock to a lot of people. We were glam rock to other people.

We were hard rock to Detroit people. We were a lot of different things.

What did you consider yourselves at that time?

Well, we were a hard rock band. I mean, we were a Yardbirds-Who-type of hard rock band, but I always said, “Let the lyrics be the script for the show.” So if you say, “Welcome to my nightmare,” don’t just say it. Do it. Give ‘em the nightmare. We were the first to do that. Nobody had ever done theatrics before Alice Cooper. So we kind of broke that barrier down that you could do visuals and music at the same time.

And of course that was widely influential, and now, who doesn’t have visuals, right?

Yes, that’s exactly it. After us, Kiss came out and Bowie came out after that. But in the beginning, we fought that battle that everybody went, “Oh well, you take their theatrics away and their sensational show and they’re not a very good band.”

What they didn’t realize is that we did ten-hour rehearsals and nine hours was on the music. Because we realized that you couldn’t put the icing on the cake unless you have the cake.

Our next “citation needed” refers to ’71 to ’72, just before “School’s Out” came out.

It says, “Back then, the real criticism was aimed at questioning the artist’s sexual ambiguity rather than the stage gore.”

We realized that all worked together.

Here’s a guy named Alice Cooper. This is 1969, 1970. There’s nothing like this. There are snakes on stage, there’s a guillotine, there’s blood, there are baby dolls. It looks like some sort of demented nursery gone really wrong. It’s a nightmare, but the music is hard rock and it’s really solid and we have hit records. So nobody knew what to do.

They just didn’t know how to take us. The sexuality… Alice Cooper was a guy. Back then, that scared everybody in the world.

Nobody knew what I was. They thought that I was some kind of a transsexual. In fact, a lot of Rocky Horror Picture Show was based on Alice Cooper. Somebody showed the director’s notes to me one time.

The original director’s notes for Dr. Frank N. Furter say “a la Alice Cooper,” “a la Alice Cooper.” Everything was “a la Alice Cooper” [laughs]. The funny thing was that the guys in the band… there was nobody gay in the band. Nobody was getting high. We drank beer. Every conception about us was wrong.

We were probably more wholesome than the Partridge Family. It’s just that our stage show was definitely not wholesome.

We were guerrilla theater. Rock didn’t have a villain. We had a ton of Peter Pans and no Captain Hook. I said, well, I’ll gladly be the villain. I’ll be the Moriarty of rock ‘n’ roll. That’ll be fine with me. I have the face for it. So I created Alice to be rock ‘n’ roll’s Frankenstein. The whole Alice Cooper thing was the personification of a real villain.

How has the character of Alice Cooper changed over the years?

Well, everybody got the joke. I think everybody finally got the joke. To us, the joke was the fact that here was this band that was just almost Clockwork Orange.

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8 0 5 . 8 4 5 .1 6 7 3 | 1 3 3 E A S T D E L A G U E R R A S T R E E T | N O.1 8 2 | S A N TA B A R B A R A

[citation (no longer) needed] Log in and make these changes, Wikipedians. We went straight to the source.

“Vincent [Alice Cooper] had gained admission into the University of Arizona, University of Colorado and University of California-Davis – he declined all these offers.” [1] “Admiration for the works of surrealist artists such as Salvador Dali would further inspire their future stage antics.” [2] “Back then, the real criticism was aimed at questioning the artists’ sexual ambiguity, rather than the stage gore.” [3] “The band won over devoted fans in droves while at the same time horrifying parents and outraging the social establishment.” [4] 1. ^Alice says… False 2. ^Alice says… True 3. ^Alice says… It all worked together 4. ^Alice says… True

They were as much a gang as they were a band. They weren’t called “Rolling Thunder” and they weren’t called “The Death Machine.” They were called Alice Cooper. It was a sweet little old lady’s name. So everything about us was a bit ironic and a bit cynical and a bit tonguein-cheek, but, again, we realized that you had to be a great band to pull that off. You couldn’t just do that and let it sit there.

You have to have hit records around it.

The next “citation needed” line says, “Alice Cooper won over devoted fans in droves while at the same time horrifying parents and outraging the social establishment.”

Isn’t that hyperbole, or do you think that Alice Cooper really “outraged the social establishment?”

At that time, yes. We got banned in England. The MPs banned us in England.

Of course, the record went right to number one. We knew the power of negative press. If you get the parents to hate you, the kids will love you. As soon as the parents say, “You cannot have an Alice Cooper album,” what do you think they’re going to buy? [Laughs] So what can folks in Santa Barbara and the Santa Ynez Valley expect to see on stage at the Chumash Casino?

Well, we do the same show that we’ll do at Wembley in London or in New York City or any place. We never change the show. The first part of the show is basically Glam Alice. It’s very flashy, very

LOW

HGT

12:36 AM 1.1 1:13 AM 1.4

25

persona.

It’s totally different. As a matter of fact, the character that I play on stage is nothing like the one you’re talking to right now. First of all, Alice hates golf [laughs].

Whereas, I love it. I created him so that thirty years from now, when I’m not playing Alice Cooper, hopefully somebody else is. I consider him an American icon.

People can play Zorro. People can play Batman. People can play Alice Cooper.

at the Sandpiper golf course. Great golf course! It’s one of the most underrated golf courses in California. It’s such a great course. It’s on the coast. It’s right on the water, and it’s a public course. I can’t believe that somebody didn’t make that into a private club. I’m glad they didn’t [laughs].

Have you played the other courses here in town?

Oh yeah. We played at the Montecito course. Michael Douglas was a member up there, so we played up there. I think I played at almost all of them at one time or another. I play six days a week.

Alice Cooper plays the Chumash Casino Resort (3400 East Highway 246, Santa Ynez) on Thursday, November 21 at 8pm.

Doors open at 7:30pm. Tickets start at $35.

Get them at www.chumashcasino.com. Reach the casino by phone at 800.248.6274.

When did you come out as a golfer? The golfer persona is so different than your stage slick – all the hits. All the flash comes up front. Then it goes into nightmare Alice.

The next thing you know, you’re in Alice’s nightmare. So part two is “Dwight Fry” and “Go to Hell” and all those wonderful little ditties – strait jackets and guillotines and stuff. The next part of the show is Alice wakes up on a gurney and he’s in a graveyard and the graveyard is the graveyard of the Hollywood Vampires, which used to be my drinking club. It’s basically all my dead drunk friends. So we do a tribute then to Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix, John Lennon and Keith Moon. These are the guys who were in my gang. Who’s better to do a tribute to them than one of their own? I’m one of the survivors. Then after that we finish up with the big finale. There’s a three-song finale that is the crème de la crème.

During that tribute part, are you actually playing the music of these people?

Oh yes! We do “Break on Through” by The Doors. We do “Revolution” by John Lennon. We do “My Generation” by The Who and we do “Foxy Lady.” Our guitar player Orianthi is twenty-seven years old.

She’s from Australia. She is just like lightning on guitar. She’s our Eddie Van Halen.

Have you spent much time here in Santa Barbara?

My sister used to live there. She lived in Goleta. She was the president of a bank there. Yeah, I used to come up there. I was there at least twice a year. I used to play

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N OV E M B E R 8 – 1 6 | 2 0 1 3 |

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LOW 6:20 AM 8:02 AM 9:48 AM 11:09 AM 12:10 PM 01:00 PM 01:43 PM 02:23 PM

HGT 2.9 2.9 2.6 2 1.2 0.5 0 -0.3

HIGH 12:31 PM 01:53 PM 03:26 PM 04:52 PM 06:03 PM 07:02 PM 07:53 PM 08:38 PM

urf HGT 5.3 4.8 4.4 4.3 4.3 4.3 4.3 4.2

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ell, my wishful thinking went bust last week. Not enough energy below 300 percent. If you found waves this past week, keep going there, and don’t tell a soul. For the rest of us, it’s more of the same. I’m less optimistic for the upcoming week, but have been finding waves in the waist-to-rib range at most of the more exposed beach breaks. More new west/north/west is in our future, but too steep and not big enough to fix our slow fall start. Sunday is my pick for a good chase day.

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26 | N OV E M B E R

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W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

by Rachelle Oldmixon

Halloween Candy Is Wonderful: Confessions of a Sugar Junky

W

hen only a couple kids stopped by my house to trick-or-treat, I was left with a giant bowl full of delicious Kit Kats, Hershey bars and Snickers (all “fun” sized). I don’t know about you, but I love Halloween candy.

I can’t stop eating it even if I hide it from myself. So I spent the last week begging friends, colleagues and even strangers to take it off my hands. I even offered to mail the candy to my brother in New York!

No one took me up on the offer.

The result? I ate a lot of candy. I haven’t had a stomach ache from sugar in a long, long time. It got me thinking, I would never have eaten so much meat or veggies or bread (ok, maybe bread) to make myself this sick. Why did the sugar keep calling me back even once I knew I had eaten too much of it?

At first glance the answer is simple: Sugar – especially in the form of chocolate – is tasty. So very, very tasty. That answer only lasted as long as my next Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup.

Can’t… stop…

So I decided to do some digging.

Partially out of curiosity, but mostly out

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A self-professed science nerd, Rachelle has her B.A. in neuroscience from Skidmore College in upstate New York, and is working towards her Master’s in psychology at UCSB. In her free time, she blogs at www.synapticspeculations.com. She never could quite understand why she had to choose just one area of science; they are all fascinating. Especially when paired with some classic rock.

of a desire to keep my hands busy and away from the candy bowl.

You see, the term “sugar” really encompasses a large number of molecules that we consume, including glucose, the molecule that our body prefers for energy and our primary energy source. Glucose can be found in a lot of the foods that we eat, even the ones that don’t taste sugary.

Consuming glucose immediately starts up your metabolism so that the sugar can be broken down for energy, sending a cascade of signals to the brain that ultimately result in that satiated feeling you get when you’ve eaten enough food.

Other extremely common sugars are fructose and sucrose. They both taste extremely sweet and are in most processed foods. These are the sugars that most people mean when they talk about “sugar” in general.

And yet the questions remain: Why do so many of us love sugar? Why is it so difficult to stop eating it?

I need answers, now, or I’m going back to the Halloween bowl.

Evolutionary History Be Damned The first question likely has its answer buried in our evolutionary history.

Fructose and sucrose are great sources of energy. Not only does that mean a quick boost in your energy, but it also means that the two molecules are the main component of many calorically dense natural foods.

Imagine you are a hunter-gatherer.

Most of your diet is likely vegetables, roots and berries. Occasionally, an animal is caught and you can add meat to your diet. But, most days, your food is rather light on the calories. In a world where humans are foraging for food, out in the elements, fighting off predators and trying to raise healthy young, calories are not your enemy (as many view them today).

Instead, calories are always in demand.

Imagine now that you are out foraging for food and you come across a beehive knocked to the ground, or a fruit tree with branches bowed because they are so heavy with fruit. You try the honey, you try the fruit. Both are laden with fructose and sucrose.

Your tongue buzzes with the new taste and you like it. Why do you like it? Because your body has developed a system, over many thousands of years, to reward you for behaving in a way that helps you – and the entire species – survive. Sucrose and fructose provide the extra calories that your body needs in a life of hunting and gathering.

The second question – why is it so hard to stop eating fructose and sucrose? – also has a complicated answer. When the two sugars are consumed, they do not activate the same signaling cascade that glucose does. The result is that the brain is not told that the body is getting the calories it needs. So we eat more sugar-laden food to feel full.

Then, sucrose and fructose also result in the release of dopamine, a neurotransmitter in the motivation-center of our brain.

When we eat the two “sugary” sugars, we get a reward, not only in the delicious taste, but also in a direct shot of pleasure.

(It’s not fair. I’m telling you.)

Dopamine Be Damned

Overall, eating a small amount of sucrose and fructose is not a bad thing.

It lifts our energy and mood. However, residents of the US consume, on average, 156 pounds of sugar a year. That’s more than I weigh. It’s also about 36 pounds – or over 25% – more a year than we consumed in the ‘70s (for those of you doing the math, that averages out to an extra 0.1 lbs a day).

Most of that extra sugar comes from sodas and processed foods. And it has been directly linked to a reduced life span, reduced fertility and lower levels of territory acquisition in mice. In humans, it is linked to obesity, diabetes, heart disease, hypertension and – of course – cavities.

So that Halloween candy in my bowl really does not help. At all.

I’d throw it out, seriously, but I’m so high on dopamine that I can’t make rational decisions.

Fun-sized 3 Musketeers, anybody?

Come on. You now you want it.

And I need a fix.

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...continued from p.9

grapes have just been harvested, most of the wineries’ barrels are tied up until spring. And even once Telegraph receives the barrels, the beer can spend anywhere from several months to over a year resting in them.

Can’t wait.

The Crew

Owner and Brewmaster Brian Thompson can stop and enjoy the fruits of his labor (every now and again, anyway).

ten times the amount of beer contained in a normal sized barrel. Currently there are eight wine barrels in the room… but we will unfortunately have to wait before we see the barrel room bursting with beer. Brian mentioned that since the wine

We headed down from Brian’s office and entered the tasting room. The brewers were finishing up their work day and starting to head into the tasting room for a post-work drink. We sat around the bar talking beer as the day came to a close.

Telegraph now has three brewers that perform the different day-to-day tasks of operating a brewery (believe it or not, brewing is only one of the many steps of running a brewery). Brian remains brewmaster but these days he spends far more of his time handling the business side of the brewery than he does scrubbing tanks. He is well up to the task considering his previous career was on Wall Street.

The brewery is now headed by Scott Baer, who has been with Telegraph for over five years. Scott’s straightforward style and level-headed thinking are perfect for handling the machinery of everyday brewery operations and troubleshooting the inevitable problems that arise.

Three years ago, Scott’s younger brother, Peter Baer, was hired at the brewery and, watching the two interact, you can easily

Artwork by Zane Booth

, ard o b n rf Su so , re ef Ja ates o o h -G tt M ith C rath ore! a M w cG m ip, r 6 M ch ik Tr rty fo egan d mu S a n bia ate P ker M ike a m B a u v l i The Waldorf School Co Pr em elo sh sive Win an V i t i u Br Excl and t Urb s Santa Barbara’s nk ec Ba Resp

Sales Manager Trevor Scoggins (right) and Bar Manager George Gutierrez get the job done (well) at Telegraph.

pick up on the brother dynamic. The third brewer, Paul Rey, has been with Telegraph for over four years. Paul’s passion for beer is trumped only by his passion for music.

His love for the two come together in Telegraph’s barrel program (which Paul is in charge of ) and you can taste Paul’s musical influence in the cadence of the complex flavors.

The two newer additions to the

Telegraph family are Trevor Scoggins and George Gutierrez. They both have been beer buyers for the local Whole Foods Market, giving them a strong understanding of both beer and the beer market. Trevor is energetic and athletic.

The pep in his step is perfect for running around town, selling and delivering beer as Telegraph’s sales manager. While George is more mellow, he is animate about talking beer. (Believe me, I know.

On several occasions we have stayed up almost all night discussing suds.) George’s love for talking about the brew is put to good use as Telegraph’s bar manager. You can find him at the bar, greeting guests and explaining Telegraph’s different beers to visitors.

It is no wonder why Telegraph Brewery has become so successful over the years.

When looking at the brewery and the beers, you can see each member of the Telegraph team bringing his own personality to the table. But the taste of the beer matters too, of course, so tune in next week when I will discuss the flavors and background behind Telegraph’s different beers and what makes this brewery so unique.

But before I go, I’d like to give a big Sentinel and Beer Guy congratulations to Brian and the Telegraph team; this is a wonderful local success story and everybody should be proud to have Telegraph Brewery right here in Santa Barbara.

I sure am.

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28 | N OV E M B E R

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W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

GIRL

by Kateri Wozny Kateri is an award-winning journalist with a

background in print, online, radio and TV news. A native of Minneapolis, MN, she has written for the Chicago Sun-Times Media Group, Pepperdine University and Acorn Newspapers. She works full time as a public relations manager locally and loves exploring the Santa Barbara fashion scene. Follow her on Twitter @kitkatwozny.

Locals and Tourists Alike Adore Lovebird Boutique & Jewelry Bar

I

’m like a bird but with a keen eye for fashion, and I usually find myself flying into Lovebird Boutique & Jewelry Bar for something new and exquisite.

There’s something warm and welcoming about walking into Lovebird Boutique – either of them, actually! One is on State Street next to the Santa Barbara Hotel and the other is located at East De La Guerra and State Streets next to Starbucks.

When choosing the name, owner Jennifer Scarbrough wanted to capture the vibe of the boutique.

“I wanted the name to be alive and emotive with words that make people feel good,” she said. “A bird is free, alive and organic, and what more positive word than love?”

Scarbrough opened her shop on De La

…imagine no more. It’s cute and wonderful in here too!

Even the damned street sign is cute. Imagine what’s inside…

Owner Jennifer Scarbrough has really created and curated two inviting shops with quality wares.

(Thanks for taking the time, Jennifer!)

Guerra in 2008, followed soon thereafter by the one on State in 2009. Both shops have distinctive personalities, with the State location attracting more tourists and the De La Guerra location more locals.

“The State Street store is a nice size with high ceilings and a lot of light. It’s also down in the restaurant/bar district.

We get a customer that’s in town for the day and looking for a night on the town kind of outfit,” she said.

“The De La Guerra store has a low ceiling and feels cozier, like home. It’s more of a neighborhood store and it is in my old neighborhood.”

For brand name clothing, Lovebird Boutique carries a variety of independent designer styles, including jeans from Level 99 and Denimocracy; dresses from Sky; cute and sporty pants, jackets and sweaters from XCVI; tops from Talia Hancock, Green Dragon, Pink Lotus, Scrapbook and Johnny Was; a cashmere line from Claudia Nicole; lingerie from Only Hearts; pajamas and loungewear from PJ Salvage, and shoes from Splendid and Sbicca.

Scarbrough said the must-have pieces for the season are leggings and jeggings, booties and oversized sweaters. Clothing pieces in the boutiques range from $30 – $250.

“My shops are welcoming, inclusive places that a mother and a daughter can shop and that are affordable, but yet they come in and still have a full boutique experience,” she said.

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Scarbrough also owns and sells her own jewelry line of 22 years called Zia Jewelry. In fact, her design studio used to be directly above the De La Guerra shop. Her jewelry line consists of earrings, bracelets, rings and necklaces that are sterling and gold vermeil with either precious stones, special coins or artifacts.

Each piece is moderately priced between $30 – $200 and is made with the help of four women in Bali.

“I have been doing this with them for about fifteen years,” she said. “I’m here to help them and they are here to help me.

We’re like family.”

Scarbrough also carries other jewelry artists, including Chan Luu and local jewelry lines Diva Sharp and Keltsey Designs.

“Predominantly, the jewelry Lovebird carries is from my line and it is key to the success of our stores,” she said.

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Scarbrough also hosts trunk shows. On Saturday, November 16, from 5 – 7pm, the De La Guerra location will feature very special pieces from Swan Jewelry, a line from New York City. The Lovebird Holiday Trunk Show featuring designer Johnny Was will also take place at the De La Guerra shop on Sunday, December 8, from noon – 4pm. Wine and cheese will be served at both events.

Scarbrough also gives back to her community. For the Lovebird Holiday Trunk Show, five percent of event sales will be donated to the Domestic Violence Solutions for Santa Barbara County.

“Santa Barbara is my home and my community. I am grateful to be a part of it,” she said. “As a mom, business woman and member of the community, I care very much about causes that help women, children and education and I want to give back in the best way that I can.”

As I wrapped up, I flew away with a brand new XCVI black sweater cardigan and returned safely to my nest until my next fashion journey.

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AT T H E M O O N

by Joseph Timmons

Also affectionately known as Xombiewoof – he is a Central Coast musician and journalist who has covered the local, regional, national and international music scene for a couple decades and is now focused on the burgeoning music community of the Santa Ynez Valley and environs. Check him out at www.xombiewoof.com, or just send note about interesting shows at interesting places to the man himself: xombiewoofmail@aol.com.

Costa De Oro Winery Pairs Wine and Music for a Perfect Blend

W

hat’s not to love about the Central Coast? This wondrous area, which spans from Santa Barbara northward towards Paso Robles – with its coastline being a surfer’s paradise and its many county fairs and natural tourist attractions – offers fabulous opportunities for excitement. One of the most popular and engaging activities loved by locals and tourists alike is visiting the many vineyards, wineries and vintner tasting rooms that pepper and spice up the landscape.

The California coast is teeming with talented artisans that look to entice visitors with wines, spirits of unique blends, original flavors and social environments that keep people coming back to visit often. In my neck of the woods, there are many such wineries: Cottonwood

The Costa De Oro tasting room hosts the musical “wine down” events every Friday.

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Gary Burk and his wife Teresa have made Costa De Oro the place to be in Santa Maria.

Canyon, Foxen Vineyard and Rancho Sisquoc Winery. It’s a list that grows longer every year. The one winery that truly stands out as a hotbed of activity is Costa De Oro Winery… and for more than just a nip of the vine.

Costa De Oro Winery embraces patrons with social events, epicurean festivals and art inspired open houses that are celebrated gatherings. Like some of the local vintners, Gary Burk, owner of Costa De Oro, realized that to have a successful winery you have to have an atmosphere that is warm, inviting and just plain fun. Gary Burk and his wife Teresa have been working hard at making Costa De Oro the place to be.

The Burks opened the doors to the Costa De Oro tasting room at 1331 Nicholson Avenue in Santa Maria, visible from Highway 101 and perfectly situated across from Cool Hand Luke’s Steakhouse. From the outside, Costa De Oro appears quaint and inviting; inside it is very cozy, with ample seating and a food market. The interior décor is bright and vibrant. Costa De Oro is famous for more than its award winning wines and its charm; it has become the center of a growing music scene, offering live music events with artists from all over the central coast.

Gary Burk, a musician himself, has been known to spontaneously grab his guitar and join in with the band for a song or two, or to mingle and engage with patrons, taking the time to shake hands and say hello. Gary makes every moment count. Musician, husband, father and vintner, he operates a winery that creates blends people enjoy well after the bottle is empty.

Performers that have graced the dance floor of Costa De Oro are as diverse as the patrons. Folk, blues, jazz, rock and rockabilly groups have made this oasis of music their stomping grounds.

The Cadillac Angels, Blues Dave & the Paisley Brothers, Joe Daddy & The Sumthins, Scott Andrews and the legendary Louie Ortega have all come to Costa De Oro, and return often to perform. “The musical events we offer have been very well received.

The area had been starving for a place where people can enjoy great food and wine along with music that is fun,

entertaining and family friendly,” Gary said.

We talked at length about Costa De Oro and its popularity. ”Since we started having live music, we’ve been approached by many musicians. We would like to make time for them all, but we feel that keeping with performers from the area improves the local music scene.” Gary told me many of his guests like to see artists that have a collection of original music mixed with well-known songs and classic rock tunes. “The music has increased our overall popularity, our Friday “wine downs” pack the house, and with food

by Chef Rick, the tasting room becomes a place where you can bring the whole family, kids and all. Everyone enjoys the evening.”

While talking with Gary about how making the tasting room into a music center has been beneficial from a business standpoint, he told me it has been a very “fruitful” venture. “We played to our strengths. Since both my wife and I have musical backgrounds, it was only natural that we would make this a part of what we do, and it’s all about a passion for the things we love.”

Gary added, “Our goal is to provide an experience that is all inclusive. We have the wine, the food, the music and the fun! It’s all about celebrating life. We want people to come and be a part of what is important to us.”

The music events have become an integral part of their business. Gary, his wife Teresa and the entire staff at Costa De Oro make every Friday “wine down” special. When asked if he would ever consider moving to a larger place, Gary said, “We have no desire at present to move or change anything. We will if the space ever becomes too small or there were to be any problems. But by keeping it here, everyone feels like part of our family.”

So what’s the next big step for Costa De Oro and Gary’s vision for the tasting room’s musical future? Gary plans to start working on a compilation CD featuring local artists and groups who have performed at Costa De Oro. There have also been some thoughts about streaming live concert videos on the winery’s website, giving anyone with an internet connection an opportunity to see bands playing every Friday from anywhere in the world.

Gary Burk and his family started Costa De Oro with one mission – to produce the finest wines from the Central Coast using the artistry of “Old-World” winemaking and “New-World” grape growing – but he has done so much more. Winemaker Gary Burk not only produces wines to drink and enjoy, but with the tasting room’s weekly musical soirees, Santa Maria has one very hip, happening, family-oriented, “fun-tastic” place to raise a glass and toast the good life.

Cheers. I look forward to seeing you this and every Friday at Gary’s Place!

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...continued from p.7 what a rich history we have here in Santa Barbara. Very cool. Thanks again, Hal, please keep picking us up and don’t hesitate to write in. – MSM)

Props Dear Matt, thanks for all the great stories. You are doing a fabulous job of telling us about some of our terrific community treasures (new and old). The story about the Paradise Café was superb. I like how you acknowledge your magnificent wife on a regular basis and was delighted you told about Randy’s awesome partner, Janet. She is a community treasure in her own right, and seems to back Randy at every turn. I love your enthusiasm and zest for life. It’s infectious! Thanks again.

Dennis Forster, CFP Senior Vice President, The Forster Group at Morgan Stanley Wealth Management Santa Barbara (Editor’s Note: Aw shucks, Dennis, thanks for the note. It turns out that SB is chock full of great stories so we will definitely keep them coming. Janet Rowse is indeed awesome and I can’t wait to talk more about her endeavors in the non-profit world. The truth is that we’ve been kicking around a unique idea for a non-profit-y/philanthropy-y column thingy and SafeLaunch might be an interesting way to get it started. (Sorry Publisher Tim, did I just divulge commercially sensitive information? Litigation attorneys are cringing again.) Anyway, thanks again for the kind words, I am really thrilled you’re enjoying the paper. We still love putting the damned thing out, so we sure hope you’ll keep reading. – MSM)

There’s No Such Thing As Antibiotic Resistant Superbugs In Our Recycled Water Supply, Right?

Matt, your response to Edo McGowan’s letter about recycled water was exactly what I would have written (An Open Letter to City Council, Vol. 2, Issue 42). But I did a Google search and found a study entitled Reclaimed Water as a Reservoir of Antibiotic Resistance Genes: Distribution System and Irrigation Implications (May 28, 2013) (www. ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/23755046).

He might be on to something after all.

Tim Gilles Santa Barbara (Editor’s Note: Well, Tim, this isn’t exactly what I was thinking of when I asked in response to Dr. McGowan’s letter, “Can somebody – anybody, qualified or not – please write in and tell me that there’s no such thing as ‘antibiotic resistant superbugs’ in the recycled water supply and that precious antibiotics aren’t in jeopardy?”

Regardless, I read the abstract for the article you referenced and now have an upset stomach. So I will ask it again, even more directly: Will somebody who knows something more than I do about and/or has some degree of responsibility for our recycled water supply please write in and tell me that there’s no such thing as “antibiotic resistant superbugs” therein and that I shouldn’t fear for my kids’ health? No man, seriously, somebody?

Anybody? – MSM)

The “Unfairness of Elections” Hello Matt, I’m addressing this Letter to the Editor to you with the caveat that I have known Loretta Redd for several years. I always look forward to her engaging ideas and pithy style of expressing them, whether in your paper or in person. Thanks for helping to make this possible!

I have long since gotten used to the “unfairness of elections.” (That is how I would characterize the focus of Loretta’s column in the November 1 edition (Potomac to Pacific, Vol. 2, Issue 42).) But I especially like that Loretta suggests ways we might change that here in Santa Barbara.

Incumbents most often have established a high level of name recognition, and in many cases loyal followers willing to provide campaign donations. Their winning begets winning. For newcomers, however, especially those not affiliated with a political party and unable to tap into its resources, it’s an uphill battle to both become known and successfully engage the voters. I’m quite interested to see, among the various newcomers, who will have made it into the empty seat on the Council this year. I’m hoping it will have been someone not supported by a political party, and with the right amount of talent and experience needed for the tough non-partisan financial and planning decisions bearing down on our fair and beloved city.

Charles B. Hamilton Santa Barbara (Editor’s Note: Thanks Charles, Loretta does have an engaging style, for sure, and we are happy to have her in the paper. I can’t say that I disagree with you about party-supported incumbents who play their electoral politics cards right; perhaps that’s a shame. Don’t get me wrong, incumbents who’ve done a good job and earn re-election on the record exist, of course, but re-election due to name recognition only and despite a flimsy record is clearly, well… ...continued p.32

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...continued from p.31 lame. (Insert comment about voters having some responsibility for actually learning about candidates’ positions on important issues here.)

With all of that said, the results for our own Mayoral and City Council races are in, and three incumbents have in fact won re-election (Mayor Schneider and Councilmembers Bendy White and Frank Hotchkiss). You tell me, Charles, is that good or bad for Santa Barbara? Thanks again for writing. – MSM) (Oh, and big congrats to Gregg Hart – a Sentinel advertiser (I’m not saying that had anything to do with his victory but, well, the results speak for themselves) – for taking the third City Council seat. And kudos to all candidates for a reasonably clean campaign season.

Right on.)

Risk-taking in the Bush Jeff Harding recently highlighted in The Weekly Capitalist how corruption within governments, namely Kenya, stagnate human progress leading to a deadening of the entrepreneurial human spirit. (The Cargo Problem: On Kenya and Its Lessons for Us, Vol. 2, Issue 41.) I’ve worked with an indigenous community for over 15 years who live in the most rural part of Kenya. Traditionally, these pastoral people have had no use for education and, because of their remoteness and nomadic way of life, they have had very little involvement with the Kenyan government.

But although modern civilization, global warming and deadly drought conditions harmful to livestock have crept into their lives, these 1,500 Maasai people of Esiteti show a surprising hunger for knowledge combined with a prevailing spirit of hope, and it’s fostered a unique thread of tribal “entrepreneurial spirit.”

On behalf of Africa Schools of Kenya (ASK), youth are being sponsored through over 22 schools impacting the future of these people. This year, Margaret will be the first to graduate high school and will begin a four-year scholarship to university; traditionally unheard of in the Maasai culture when pubescent girls are normally married off at a tender age. Although this small rural community has received two teachers, they have more freedoms to operate independently apart from the rules of the government than they would if they were in a city such as Nairobi.

ASK is a non-profit organization headquartered in Santa Barbara and its success is based on the U.S. and international entrepreneurs and their donations, primarily contributed because they know their dollars will directly go to the people bringing them out of poverty and providing an ever-changing climate of prosperity. Next Tuesday, November 12, ASK will commence a 45-day fundraising campaign at The Spa at Bacara Resort. On October 1, a team of five accompanied James Ole Kamete, the Maasai Chief responsible for bringing education to Esiteti, and together they set out to climb Mt. Kilimanjaro, Africa’s highest mountain. If you’re interested in hearing about the journey, please join ASK at The Bacara Spa and call for a treatment today. A portion of the day’s proceeds will benefit ASK and ultimately the needs of the Esiteti community.

Teri Gabrielsen Founder and Executive Director Africa Schools of Kenya (Editor’s Note: Terrific response to Jeff’s piece, Teri, I rather enjoyed it. And congratulations on the success of the ASK program. With that said, as I read Jeff’s column, the big question seems to be the following: What types of opportunities will be available to that educated youth? Jeff repeatedly states that the problems in Kenya don’t come from a reasonably welleducated public but from rampant corruption and a consequent lack of meaningful, meritbased opportunity. So let’s hope that the education and progress earned as a consequence of ASK’s efforts will find solid footing in the broader Kenyan socio-economic environment going forward.

Good luck with fundraising at Bacara, the Spa is terrific and the Kilimanjaro story sounds great. Keep pushing. – MSM)

Solving the Homeless Problem

Kevin O’Connor President

www.hydrexnow.com

Hello Matt, I’ve enjoyed your paper since your first publication last year. Keep up the good work! This is the first time I’ve submitted an opinion letter, as I felt motivated to write after some recent research and reading the letters of others. Hopefully you can use it.

To solve homelessness for a night, you need a shelter. To solve it for good, you need work. This is the message of a NYC non-profit called The Doe Fund. In existence for over 20 years, their mandatory work and sobriety programs have proven to be both a civic and financial success. To be eligible for shelter services, all able-bodied persons must participate. Our current business model of providing for the homeless is not effective. Take a walk through Chase Palm Park to see for yourself. Mandatory work programs are the proven, long-term solution. SB is both an innovative and generous town. We are all capable working for our food.

Paul Mathieu Santa Barbara

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(Editor’s Note: Right on, Paul, your first time writing in and already a proposed solution! And it’s a good one, too; I quickly checked out The Doe Fund and it appears to have some really interesting concepts. Paid transitional work for some income, safe sober housing, drug relapse prevention, case management, occupational and life skills training and lots more as part of its Ready, Willing and Able program. Imagine that… people actually working their way out of poverty and addiction. Sounds uplifting. Inspirational. Self-esteem and community building. In short, it sounds sort of like a win-win-win.

So, wait, why aren’t we doing this already on as big a scale as possible here in SB? (We aren’t NYC, after all.) Or am I missing something? Note that The Doe Fund is interested in expanding to additional cities and is currently working on a replication model. Maybe we should reach out with a public/private collaboration that aligns the relevant interests and starts moving our fair city forward.

A solution for the homeless problem. Imagine that. Thanks Paul. – MSM)

Local Government/Military Conspiracy on Homeless Panhandlers?

Matt, we always look forward to picking up the Sentinel each Friday! Thank you for your unique voice.

In reference to Ron Atwood’s recent letter (Another Open Letter to Mayor Schneider: Santa Barbara’s Threatened Brand Identity, Vol. 2, Issue 42), is it true as he states that when military vessels come to our Harbor that panhandlers and loiters are regularly cleared from our downtown corridor? If so, what entity does this? By whose order does this occur? How often does this take place? Does it occur during cruise ship visits as well? Don’t Santa Barbara taxpayers deserve the same consideration?

It’s more and more difficult for my husband and me to find a vacant, CLEAN bench upon which to sit on State Street. Wonder why?

Sure would appreciate some factual answers to these questions. Thank you very much from a faithful reader.

Sharron Adams Santa Barbara (Editor’s Note: It’s a great question, Sharron, and I appreciate the thoughtful read of Ron’s letter. He specifically suggests that “the military” arranges “to clear the city’s downtown corridor or panhandlers and loiterers” but gives no detail on how the City might play a role in any such actions. No disrespect to Ron, but I would be pretty surprised to find out that this alleged conspiracy is actually happening – perhaps it’s something as simple as uber-strict police enforcement that results in fewer transient-types in the area. I imagine that there would be endless civil rights litigation if the military were conspiring with local governments to get rid of the homeless. (I’ve been wrong before, though, stranger things have happened.)

As for the clean bench issue, well, take a look at Paul Mathieu’s letter above… maybe one of those transitional jobs The Doe Fund offers involves public janitorial and beautification services. If it doesn’t, it should. Thanks for writing, and please keep reading. – MSM)

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On Curing Homelessness with An iPhone App (Reader Warning: This is offensive on a number of levels but we had to print it. Sorry. Or you’re welcome. Whatever. Here it is. – MSM) Hello Matt, there’s been numerous letters, as well as quite a number of feature articles, in your paper regarding that pesky homeless problem forever plaguing the beautiful town of SB. Just leave, go to work, we don’t wanna be a “beacon” for the US homeless population, don’t feed them, they’ll STAY!, and on and on and on and freaking on, and on, and to infinity and beyond!

The things that I think everyone craves like pure cocaine here are accountability, transparency and solutions that are easily viewed by those who give digital money.

No one is getting that now.

That one shelter... never-mind its name, no need to beat that one like a dead anorexic. The two other charity shelters are no better because anonymity is default.

Anyway, don’t go around any of those places asking who is getting what to make sure donor dollars are actually going to the places people think and want them to go.

Won’t ever happen.

Just picture about ten or so bank accounts in Santa Barbara growing like quality marijuana plants, and now you have the complete life-cycle of the “receiving” of the donations, and the “dispersing” of them. The actual “bums” just get out-of-date food from wherever, donated clothes and free haircuts if they’re lucky... They don’t even get one single Canadian Penny spent on them, they, theirs, or these. How about old hotel shampoos and soaps… can’t you even get those at Rite Aid these days?

I’m delusional. I’m done writing.

Ok. I’m awake now.

The magic solution? An iPhone app that let’s you, the donor, in real time, click on an icon representing an actual homeless person in SB, who has already registered on the gracious library computers, and who is then mailed an empty Paypal debit card.

Big whoopee pie.

When the iPhone user touches the corresponding homeless individual’s icon on their new 5s’s’s’sss, he chooses a drop down menu as to what their donation is to go towards: food, clothing, etc.

Boring stuff. How about Heineken! (Sorry.)

The homeless person then gets an IM at the library when they log on, showing that X amount has been credited to their card. Now the fun begins. Upon registration, the homeless guy (they’re all guys) agree to give Facebook updates (90% of homeless have FB accounts, believe me, I see them logging in everyday), uploading photos of what they bought, a smile, and a thanks. The homey can also complain on their FB that they are hungry, cold, etc. and not getting anything.

Oh boo-hoo! Don’t cry for me Argentina!

How does this iPhone app/Paypal debit card idea remain accountable? Simple: Denise. (Denise?) Is that a code word for accountant?

Hell no.

“Denise” is a (an?) SB volunteer who makes her rounds to all of the parks, libraries and alleys, and could easily have a master-sheet of all of the puppies in downtown SB who have registered and obtained the said Paypal cards. So… if Homeless Guy Number ...continued p.40

DMV Age Discrimination? Part Deux Matt, what’s an “illegal?” Is this it?

A body swims ashore, crawls to the nearest DMV without identification, insurance or a vehicle, and walks out with a Drivers License. Is this really it?

Law offenders shouldn’t receive privileges.

American citizens like myself – 80 years old – that have paid taxes and are law abiding are being yanked off the road to make room for the illegals. Elderly like myself are the people who are responsible for nice, plush DMV offices and hundreds of jobs for hundreds of people. Now the DMV is telling me and many like me to back up and sit down. It’s age discrimination, plain and simple.

What happened to God Bless America and United We Stand?

Maxine Davis Los Alamos (Editor’s Note: It’s been a while, Maxine, but I do recall a similar letter from you a few months back (DMV Age Discrimination?, Vol. 2, Issue 27). I said it then and I will say it now: “As for the DMV and age discrimination, well, I can’t say I have tons of experience or much to say. Age shouldn’t be a factor, I suppose, assuming that the driver in question can pass the various tests that everybody else needs to pass to help ensure at least some safety on the roads. (It’s an open question as to whether the test actually do that, but I digress.) In no event should the number 80 alone be the deciding factor. I don’t think that seems too controversial but maybe I’m missing something.”

I guess I don’t see the need to change anything about that response.

With that said, I’m not trying to be insensitive but must ask: Have you passed the written test and eye exam? If so, then what’s the reason your license has been taken from you? Multiple accidents? Or is it really just “age discrimination, plain and simple?” Thanks Maxine, I do hope to hear from you again. – MSM)

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Project Director Caitlin Carlson and SB Open Streets Coordinator Robin Elander pose for a shot.

with Julie Bifano Ms Bifano is drawn to micro-fiction and is currently writing her first novel – “The Grace Below.” She has a B.A. in English with an emphasis in writing from the University of San Francisco and a M.F.A. in Creative Writing, also from the University of San Francisco. More of Julie’s stories and poetry can be viewed on her website juliebifano.com.

No Cars on Cabrillo President of COAST Mark Braley and Robert Chamberlain get together to celebrate SB Open Streets.

O

n Saturday, November 2, I slept in.

With the days getting dark sooner and our new extra hour of sleep, I went into hibernation mode. I began to seriously wonder about the last time I went to the gym.

Completely befuddled at when my last workout was, I was thankful to get outdoors and head to SB Open Streets.

Once I finally found a parking spot on Yanonali, I strolled through the Funk Zone to Cabrillo Boulevard and met SB Open Streets Coordinator Robin Elander, and Director of Traffic Solutions Kent Epperson. It was a clear, luminous day, with a pleasing ocean breeze. Kids were doing tricks in a mini skateboarding area.

There were countless colorful bicycles. I heard laughter and punk music. Seagulls pecked at leftover food scraps, and a man dressed like a coyote did a cartwheel. Was I back in San Francisco at Golden Gate

Park? No. I was in Santa Barbara, and it felt like a whole new city.

“SB Open Streets is about bringing people together. The artists, musicians, fitness and alternative transportation communities all come to one place and collaborate,” Kent said enthusiastically.

Robin added, “Our goal is to create a stronger, healthier community.” As I listened to them, it suddenly occurred to me that not only had I avoided the gym, but I had also been neglecting my bicycle.

Right there, I hatched a plan: time to bust out my old brown bike, spray paint it pink, add a basket and ride it around town.

I continued to walk down Cabrillo snapping photos of volunteers, locals and out-of-towners. Looking through my photos, one thing was unmistakable: people participating in physical activity outdoors are happy. The smiles are wide in

The energetic SB Open Streets Volunteer Team get together for a group shot.

my photographs, and people are bursting with life and energy.

It was a simple, free circus, as well as a fun, free event. Continuing my stroll, I ran into the Project Director for COAST (Coalition for Alternative Sustainable Transportation, www.coast-santabarbara. org), Caitlin Carlson. She told me, “I am so awestruck by how positive everyone is, from little kids to old folks. It is so rare that there is a free event that has something for

everybody. People can experience their community in a new way.”

Heading home, I pulled into the garage and saw my old bike leaning against the wall, begging me to ride it. I was able to keep my bear-like hibernation mode at bay, and my sunny Saturday afternoon continued outdoors on my brown bike.

For more information on SB Open Streets, check out www.sbopenstreets. org.

Volunteers Hutch Axilrod and Lindsay Gabbard are happy SB Open Streets was such a success.

Director of Traffic Solutions Kent Epperson and Robin Elander pose on a bike that can carry over 400 pounds!

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Elliott Rebuck and George Nagai from The Goleta Skateboarding Movement pose for a quick shot.

Representing Santa Barbara Neighborhood Clinics, here’s Amalia Priego, Elvira Del Carmen, Denise Quevedo and little pup Jewels.

Sylvia Huerta poses with her alternative mode of transportation.

Nicole Biergiel and Aaron Laferriere enjoy the ocean side breezes.

Peter Olmos, aka Ash-ka Coyote, and Jane Borderud get festive for SB Open Streets.

COME SEE WHAT’S NEW IN SANTA BARBARA

Volunteer Kevin Sage has a fun time riding his bike around the open streets.

Jim C. and Pucci representing Cranky’s Bike Shop.

NOW OPEN

Featuring Unique Furniture, Home Accessories, Local Artists, Jewelry, Lighting, Gifts and Much More.

Specializing in products made from 100% recycled wine vines and wine barrels.

527 STATE STREET

(3 DOORS DOWN FROM THE HOTEL SANTA BARBARA)

805-845-9595 • CoastalCollections@icloud.com MONTECITO UNION SCHOOL DISTRICT Notice of Vacancy and Provisional Appointment A vacancy on the Governing Board of the Montecito Union School District was created on September 6, 2013 due to the resignation of Mrs. Mary Morouse.

In accordance with Education Code section 5091, Mr. Peter van Duinwyk was provisionally appointed to the Governing Board on October 29, 2013.

Steve and Jag Barton enjoy a day on their bikes in the sunshine.

Unless a petition calling for a special election, containing a sufficient number of signatures is filed in the office of the Superintendent of Schools of the County of Santa Barbara within (30) days of the provisional appointment, it shall become an effective appointment.

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You Have Your Hands Full

Even the schoolwork is piling up… we’ve officially entered the holiday crunch.

by Mara Peters Former editor for the fashion/lifestyle section of the New York

Post, Mara moved to London and worked as a contributing editor for the Daily Mail’s You Magazine, freelancing for Look Magazine, NY Post and the Style Magazine for The Sunday Times. To remain sane during diaper years she writes a mommy blog, You Have Your Hands Full – www.handsfullsb.com.

‘Tis the Season

H

ave you heard the pop of the starting gun? Can you feel the race in full swing? Halloween is over. Now it’s a full sprint to Christmas. Parentteacher conferences, minimum days, Thanksgiving and then winter break.

The line-up is a little overwhelming, and to be honest, I’m feeling a little exhausted just thinking about it.

The euphoria of putting the kids back in school is long gone. The schedule has become brutal, and all of us are petering out. Even some of my kids’ teachers have been hoping to fast forward the rest of fall.

“Mom, can you sign my science fair entry?” Olivia asked me the other day.

Science fair? Panic sets in. That isn’t supposed to be squeezed into the packed fall schedule, is it? She sensed my building anxiety.

“It’s after break. They just want us to start thinking about it.”

And that’s when I know the ship has hit some rocky waters. One more wave and

we may all go overboard.

Bah Humbug

“I just scheduled our family Christmas card photo,” another parent told me while we volunteered at the class Halloween party together a couple weeks back. “I have been combing through Pinterest looking for ideas. I really want something different, more creative this year. What are you going to do?” she asked me.

Ummm. I think maybe I’ll point, shoot, pray and print.

“So, the day after Thanksgiving, you guys are coming to L.A., right?” My brother-in-law called me to wish me happy birthday and inevitably started talking about holiday plans. I had attempted to keep things simple by hosting Thanksgiving at our house. (I flirted briefly with the Thanksgivukkah route as the first night of Hanukkah is also Thanksgiving, but the turkey menorah project was too much.)

But half of the family will be in L.A. So instead of holding my ground, I waffled.

My dream of staying home for four glorious days has turned into a nightmare.

We now will share dinner with ten people at our house, then pile into the car the next day, face the holiday traffic and do it again with twenty.

At least it will keep me out of the Black Friday mania.

“What are we doing for the boys’ birthday?” I got an email from my sisterin-law who lives back east. She is always a planner. Every year I get the email right after trick or treating about the boys’ December birthday. She wants to coordinate their gifts. Then Jackson starts in. He is dying to have a beach party with every person he considers remotely to be his friend.

“Mom, I have to invite all these guys,” he told me with an alarmingly deeper voice. “I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings and they’re all sick.”

“It might rain, Jax. Not sure a beach party is the right route,” I tell him, puzzled at why he wants a bunch of infected kids at his party. (Kidding, “sick” is good… I think.)

“Then maybe I’ll just have a campout in the backyard.”

Lovely. I can picture it now: Ten elevenyear-old boys hanging in our little house trying to roast hotdogs in our fireplace while it’s pouring outside. I’ll do my best to get them not to knock over the Christmas tree.

Finally, I start seeing the commercials with hot chocolate, Santa and pure joy, and wonder why I am so damned Scrooged. Over the years, the holidays have beaten me down. Alpha hates the materialism, encouraging me to not buy in. But then, like clockwork, when his grandmother calls to wish us “Merry Christmas,” he mouths, “What did we get her?”

I have learned. And I am becoming more of a planner, systematically tackling my holiday to-dos with the precision of an Army Ranger taking down an al-Qaeda operative.

We have just under two months to squeeze it all in. I want to wish all you parents out there good luck. And may the one with the most endurance win.

The thing is, though, I’m not sure there is ever a winner until December 26.

Peters’ Pick

P

arent-Teacher conferences are coming up in mid-November. If you find that your child may need some extra help, look no further than the California Learning Center.

I know enough to know that it’s full quality people who make something happen. Wendi Ostroff, the owner of the center, is one of the highest caliber teachers I have known to date. With her experience of 25 years teaching, she can contribute in a significant way to your child’s development. She offers classes in college prep, foreign languages and private tutoring, as well as help with homework. California Learning Center: 805-5631579; www.clcsb.com.

1 Week Free Yoga or 2 Weeks for $10 New Students Only.

DiviniTree.com El Paseo 25 E. De la Guerra St. 93101

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the

SANTA Byo urARBARA S KINNY gui de to

.com

SANTA BARBARA LIVING

GREEN SCENE Soul Poles

By Courtney Dietz o you love a snow skier? Or maybe you’re one yourself? If so, you simply must go to an upcoming event that we’re pretty darn close to ecstatic to tell you about.

Soul Poles makes ski poles by hand out of direct trade, sustainably grown bamboo. (Yes, bamboo.) In an industry filled with toxic materials, this is refreshingly simple. Maybe you haven’t heard of Soul Poles yet, but now that you know, well, you’d better check them out. And if you’re worried you’ll end up with matchsticks after your first run, rest assured.

They have a five-year, no questions asked return policy.

On November 9, the Soul Poles team is coming to Santa Barbara’s SeaVees store (118 East Ortega) with their solar powered Mobile Soul Shop for a B.Y.O. (build your own) session where you can design, customize and – you guessed it – build your own set of poles complete with your choice of colored grips and baskets.

Wear your SeaVees and get 15% off the cost. Check out www.soulpoles.com to get ready!

WEEKEND GUIDE • LOVE IS FREE What: Where: When: Why: How:

Larking About

By Eve Sommer-Belin

BY

the

37

SANTA BARBARA SKINNY

.com Candy Buy Back Dr. Joe Hwang, DMD Office – 122 South Patterson Avenue, Suite A-117 Friday, November 8, 10am – 4pm Spare yourself (and your kids) the sugar.

Sell back your Halloween candy for $2/lb and get entered to win a new iPod.

What’ll It Cost Me: Here’s a chance to actually make some money, friends!

D

WINE & DINE

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• LOOSE CHANGE

SANTA ByourARBARA SKINNY guide to

.com

SANTA BARBARA LIVING

What: Make Pumpkin Tacos Where: Follow a recipe from Flutter Magazine: Go to www.fluttermag.com, click on the issue and check out page 55!

When: This weekend will do.

Why: ‘Tis the season!

How: Cube, mix, roast, toss, assemble and enjoy.

What’ll It Cost Me: Approximately $20 depending on what you’ve already got in stock.

• HEY BIG SPENDER What: Artiste 10 Year Anniversary Party Where: The picturesque Villa at Sunstone Winery, 125 North Refugio Road, Santa Ynez When: Saturday, November 9, 3 – 6pm Why: To celebrate the momentous occasion, Artiste will be unveiling its second release sparkling wine, Effervescence, alongside locally-sourced food pairings and live jazz, all while touring a memorable artist exhibition throughout the 8,500 square foot Villa featuring artists du Artiste.

How: RSVP by calling (805) 686-2626 or email info@artiste.com. Space is limited.

What’ll It Cost Me: Me: $45 members $60 non-members

T

he murmur of happy customers fills the air as you arrive at The Lark, one of the Funk Zone’s newest dining destinations. The dishes feel like home cookin’ taken to the next level with fabulous flavor combinations that will pleasantly surprise your palate. Endless baskets of addictive salty spicy popcorn keep your taste buds a jumpin’.

The shared plates concept allows you to try a plethora of dishes. Dishes such as Cauliflower Gratin, whose rich sauce wraps around vibrant cauliflower, leaving you craving the dish even after dessert. Other enticing items include creative salads, slow cooked pork shank, crispy Brussels sprouts, roast chicken over brown butter polenta and classics like a charcuterie and/or cheese board. With all that said, you’ll see the menu change with the seasons, which is something we chicks appreciate!

Blankets and heaters outside ensure your comfort, and a very attentive staff is always a step ahead and vigilant to your every need. The Lark isn’t just a wonderful feast, it’s a welcoming place to spend time with friends and truly feel like you are dining out. And it’s definitely something we feel worthy of tweeting a song about. Fly on down!

(Oh, did we mention the amazing craft cocktails? Cheers!)

The Lark, 131 Anacapa Street, (805) 284-0370, www.thelarksb.com.

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d n e k ov. 9-10 N e , y e a d W n s ’ u n a r S Vete & y a d r atu S

Family-Friendly Events: Marathon • Parade Flyovers • Concert SATURDAY Marathon: Cheer the runners on the final "Veterans Mile" Shoreline Park to La Playa Stadium • 9 am - noon

SUNDAY Parade & Vintage Aircraft Flyovers

Parade starts at noon • State & Sola to 112 W. Cabrillo

Afternoon Concert

First Presbyterian Church, 21 E. Constance Ave. • 2:30 pm

For more information: (805) 966-1660 www.pierreclaeyssensveteransmuseum.com

NE

VE R

F O R GO T T

EN

Pierre Claeyssens

Veterans Museum S AN T A B ARB A R A , C A

Photos: Britt Rawcliffe, Danny Postawa, and Kenji Photography

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by Jim Luksic

A longtime writer, editor and film critic, Jim has worked nationwide for several websites and publications – including the Dayton Daily News, Key West Citizen, Topeka Capital-Journal, Las Cruces Sun-News and Santa Ynez Valley Journal. California is his seventh state. When he isn’t watching movies or sports around the Central Coast and Los Angeles, you can find Jim writing and reading while he enjoys coffee and bacon, or Coke and pizza.

Priorities, Priorities

I

f I made a list of a dozen priorities, Ender’s Game would rank thirteenth. Eventually, I will see the sci-fi adventure if only for my high regard for Ben Kingsley, Viola Davis and – despite the fact he appears in previews to be half-asleep and muttering – Harrison Ford.

For now, I must pay tribute to Joel and Ethan Coen. I never would’ve guessed the oddly titled Inside Llewyn Davis would become such a high priority. Judging from its stark, rustic and nuanced trailer, it looks like America’s foremost filmmakers will serve up another gem in December. Although their latest includes John Goodman (a fixture and ramrod for the Coens) and the lovely Carey Mulligan, the hero is embodied by the lesser-known Oscar Isaac. No matter. The Coen brothers’ movies – whether comedies, period pieces or dead-serious crime dramas – always boast layers of precision, texture and craftsmanship. The directing duo coax outstanding performances out of top-tier actors and no-name newcomers alike.

Alas, I still have Thor: The Dark World staring me in the face. Whether I experience that Chris Hemsworth vehicle before I sit through Ender’s Game will be decided by a coin flip. For the rest of this column, two other pictures – one tolerable, the other abysmal – call for a sharpening of my knife.

Last Vegas

G

ranted, director Jon Turteltaub’s projects will never be confused with those of Woody Allen or, for that matter, John Hughes. Turteltaub has a body of work that consists of fairto-average flicks (National Treasure, The Sorcerer’s Apprentice and Cool Runnings) – rarely a bust or flop, but nothing special, either.

Which brings me to his latest, Last Vegas, whose plot is elementary in the extreme: Three childhood friends (Morgan Freeman, Kevin Kline and Robert De Niro) reunite in Sin City to throw a bachelor party for their fourth, and wealthiest, buddy (Michael Douglas sporting “hazelnut” hair). Two ongoing motifs: The groom is getting hitched to a woman half his age, and two of the longtime pals always desire the same lady – in this case, a lounge singer (Mary Steenburgen).

No question, in light of the highquality cast, beleaguered screenwriter Dan Fogelman fails more often than not. But he also fleshes out a few characters: Among the seasoned all-stars, Kline and De Niro shine brightest; down the stretch, some of their tender moments are especially moving. It’s also a distinct pleasure to observe Steenburgen in a role that is both sizable and worthy. The actress, who in real life has become quite an accordion player, on screen sings her heart out every night. Last and least, a few glimpses of the Vegas skyline at twilight are flat-out gorgeous.

Baggage Claim

I

ts corny title makes less sense as the movie unfolds. Paula Patton portrays a flight attendant who is beautiful, sweet, intelligent and successful, yet somehow can’t find a man. The main reason – and maybe this is just a stab in the dark – she’s pickier than all American women combined. Even more ridiculous? Our heroine is obsessed with marriage because her little sister is tying the knot, and their mom has been married five times (and divorced four, mind you).

The story manages to get worse from there. Due to her airline contacts, the forlorn lady on flights “accidentally” bumps into potential husbands – including ex-boy toys.

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Overwhelmed director David Talbert trots out a “Who’s who” of suave and handsome gents: Taye Diggs, Derek Luke, Djimon Hounsou and Boris Kodjoe.

(We can only assume model Tyson Beckford had a previous commitment.) We are on pins and needles while she decides which affluent, attractive man to choose.

Can you stand the suspense?

Information Listed Early on, I’d assumed the sight of for Friday thru Thursday - November 8 - 14 a pristine Patton hiding in a suitor’s 877-789-MOVIE www.metrotheatres.com garbage can would be the most  Denotes ‘SPECIAL ENGAGEMENT’ Restrictions absurd scene. That was until 2013’s most laughable sequence reared its head:SBIFF Our fair lady and a beau and hit the sheets for what should be Metropolitan a smoldering night of lovemaking.

Theatres Corp.

So imagine my astonishment when present...... the camera supplies tacky closeupsWednesday of the couple in slow-motion, - November 13 - 7:30 unbuttoning their shirts and pants, while striking pretentious poses – looking for all the world like they’re (R) shooting a commercial for Axe body spray. Audience members, all three of them, were too busy snickering to be seduced. At Future Wednesdays at Plaza De Oro a one time another point, when our heroine wonders aloud, “Could this get- any worse?” it hits too close to home. screening of a current film that has not played in the area.

PLAZA DE ORO

 MOTHER OF GEORGE

November 20 -Listed WEforARE WHAT ARE8 -(R) Information Friday thru ThursdayWE - November 14 November 27 - WADJDA 877-789-MOVIE (PG) www.metrotheatres.com Show your SBIFF I.D. for discounted admission price Denotes ‘SPECIAL ENGAGEMENT’ Restrictions

FAIRVIEW SBIFF

225 N. Fairview and - Goleta

ARLINGTON

FIESTA 5

Courtyard Bar Open Fri & Sat - 6:30 - 10:30 1317 State Street - 963-4408

916 State Street - S.B.

FREE BIRDS (PG) Metropolitan 3D:Theatres Daily - 2:50 Corp.

2D: Fri-Mon - 12:30 5:10 7:30  THOR: THE DARK WORLD present......

Tue-Thu - 5:10 7:30 3D: Daily - 2:00 4:50 (PG-13) 2D: Fri & Sun Michael Douglas 11:15 7:40 10:30 LAST VEGAS (PG-13) Sat - 7:40 10:30 Fri-Mon - 12:00 3:00 5:30 8:00 Mon - 11:15 7:40 Tue-Thu - 3:00 5:30 8:00 Tue-Thu - 7:40 Rachel McAdams Saturday, November 9 - 9:55 am ABOUT TIME (R) Fri-Mon - 12:10 2:30 5:20 8:10  Puccini’s TOSCA - Live in HD Tue-Thu - 2:30 5:20 8:10

GRAVITY (PG-13) 2D: Fri-Mon - 12:10 4:50 Tue-Thu - 4:50 3D: Fri-Mon - 2:30 7:10 9:30 Tue-Thu - 2:30 7:10

Wednesday - November 13 - 7:30

FREE BIRDS (PG) 3D: Fri-Mon - 1:10 5:50 Tue-Thu - 5:50 2D: Fri-Mon 12:00(R)2:20 3:30 4:40 7:00 8:10 9:20 Tue-Thu Oro 2:20 - a one 3:30 time 4:40 7:00

PLAZA DE ORO

 MOTHER OF GEORGE

Future Wednesdays at Plaza De CAMINO REAL PLAZA DE screening of ORO a current filmREAL that has not played in PRESENTS: the area.

JACKASS CAMINO MARKETPLACE 371 Hitchcock Way - S.B. BLUE IS (NC-17) THE WARMEST COLOR Fri & Mon-Thu - 7:00 Sat/Sun - 1:15 4:15 7:45

Hollister & Storke - GOLETA

FAIRVIEW

ARLINGTON

BAD GRANDPA (R)

Fri-Mon - 11:50 2:10 (R) 4:30 November 20 - WE ARE WHAT WE ARE THOR: THE DARK WORLD 6:50 9:10 (PG-13) 3D: Fri-Mon Tue-Thu - 2:40 5:15 7:40 2:20 5:10 8:00 November 27 - 11:40 WADJDA (PG)

Tue-Thu - 2:20 5:10 8:00 Fri-Sun 2D: Show your SBIFF I.D. for - discounted (R) THE COUNSELOR 11:00 1:40 4:30 Fri & Mon/Tue & Thu - 7:30 7:20 10:10 10:45 Sat/Sun - 1:30 5:00 8:00 Mon - 11:00 1:40 4:30 Wed - No Show!

Courtyard Bar 10:10 Open 225 N. Fairview - Goleta 7:20 Wednesday, Nov. 13 - 7:30 Fri & Sat -- 6:30 - 10:30 Tue-Thu (PG) FREE BIRDS  MOTHER OF GEORGE (R) 1:40 4:30 10:10 1317 State Street7:20 - 963-4408 3D: Daily - 2:50

2D: Fri-Mon - 12:30 5:10 7:30 Tue-Thu - 5:10 7:30 618 State Street - S.B. Michael Douglas Natalie Portman(PG-13) (PG-13) LAST VEGAS  THOR: THE 3:00 DARK5:30 WORLD Fri-Mon - 12:00 8:00 Fri-Mon - 6:40 3D: Tue-Thu - 3:00 5:309:30 8:00 Tue-Thu - 6:40 Rachel - 12:00McAdams 1:00 2:50 2D: Fri ABOUT- 12:00 TIME (R) Sat/Sun 2:50 Fri-Mon - 12:10 2:30 5:20 8:10 Mon - 12:00 1:00 2:50 Tue-Thu - 2:30 5:20 8:10 4:00 8:30 Tue-Thu 2:50 4:00 5:40 8:30 371 Hitchcock Way - S.B.  ENDER’S GAME(NC-17) (PG-13) BLUE IS Fri-Mon -COLOR THE WARMEST 12:10 1:10 -2:40 Fri & Mon-Thu 7:00 3:50 5:30 7:00 Sat/Sun - 1:15 8:15 4:15 9:40 7:45 Tue/Wed (R) THE COUNSELOR 2:40 3:50 5:30 7:00 8:15 Fri & Mon/Tue & Thu - 7:30 Thu - 2:40 3:50 5:30 8:15 Sat/Sun - 1:30 5:00 8:00

METRO 4

PLAZA DE ORO

LAST VEGAS (PG-13) Fri-Mon - 1:20 4:00 price 6:30 9:00 admission Tue-Thu - 2:10 5:00 7:30

FIESTA RIVIERA5

916 State Padre StreetSerra - S.B. 2044 Alameda - S.B. GRAVITY (PG-13) 12 YEARS A SLAVE (R) 2D: Fri-Mon - 12:10 Fri & Wed/Thu - 4:50 4:50 8:00 Tue-Thu - 4:504:50 8:00  THE GAME DARK WORLD  THOR: ENDER’S (PG-13) Sat-Mon - 1:40 2:00 4:50 (PG-13) 3D: 3D: Daily -Fri-Mon TueFri-Mon - 4:50 - 2:30 7:10 9:30 11:10 4:40 7:30 10:20 Tue-Thu - 2:30 7:10 2D: Fri1:50 & Sun 11:15 Tue-Thu 7:40 -10:30 FREE BIRDS (PG) 1:50 Sat -4:40 7:40 7:30 10:30 10:20 8 W. De La Guerra - S.B. 3D: Fri-Mon - 1:10 Pl. 5:50 Mon - 11:15 7:403D (PG-13) GRAVITY Tue-Thu 12 YEARS - A5:50 SLAVE (R) - 7:40Tue-Thu Fri-Mon 2D: Fri-Mon Fri-Mon - 12:50- 3:30 6:40 9:00 11;30 2:00 4:20 6:40 9:00 Tue-Thu 12:00- 1:00 2:20 4:00 3:30 7:00 4:40 Saturday, November 9 - 9:55 am Tue-Thu 7:00 8:10 9:20  Puccini’s TOSCA - Live in HD (R) ABOUT TIME 2:00 4:20 6:40 9:00 Tue-Thu Fri-Mon - 12:30 4:00 6:50 9:50 2:20 3:30 4:40 7:00 JACKASS PRESENTS: Tue-Thu - 1:45 4:50 7:45 BAD GRANDPA (R) JACKASS PRESENTS: CAMINO REAL MARKETPLACE ALL IS LOST (PG-13) Fri-Mon BAD GRANDPA (R) Hollister & Storke - GOLETA - 12:40 3:50 6:20 9:40 12:30 3:00 5:20 7:40 10:00 Fri-Mon Fri-Mon - 11:50 2:10 4:30  THOR: Tue-Thu THE DARK - WORLD Tue-Thu - 1:156:504:409:107:15 Fri-Mon (PG-13) 3D: 3:00 5:20- 7:40 10:00 PHILLIPS Tue-Thu - 2:40 5:15 (PG-13) 7:40 11:40 2:20 5:10 8:00 CAPTAIN & Mon CAPTAIN - 2:20 5:10(PG-13) 8:00 Fri/Sat Tue-ThuPHILLIPS LAST VEGAS (PG-13) 1:00 3:15 9:30 9:00 Fri-Mon 2D: Fri-Sun Fri-Mon - 1:20 6:30 4:00 6:30 Sun - 1:00 6:305:00 9:307:30 12:30 3:30 6:30 9:30 11:00 1:40 4:30 Tue-Thu - 2:10 Tue-Thu 7:20 - 2:00 10:10 5:00 10:458:10 Tue-Thu - 1:30 4:30 7:30

PASEO NUEVO

CAMINO REAL

Mon - 11:00

1:40

4:30

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...continued from p.33 1 was obviously drunk, he now goes to one star on the rating scale and may be less likely to get donations.

But ya know, some people wanna help the underdog, and they can ask for a face-toface gratuity, say, to meet at McDonalds or Ralphs’ produce department for a more direct act of charity.

Most, but not all, will be entertained as they follow their pet (how crude!) homeless person throughout the day as the bums are uploading pictures of themselves eating, wearing the new clothes, smiling and BLATANTLY SHOWING THAT THEY GOT THEIR DONATION PERSONALLY AND ARE SUPER-HAPPY, FULL, WARM AND CONTENT, AND DIDN’T HAVE TO WALK A MILE TO SAID CHARITY SHELTER BUILDING THAT IS OWNED BY ONE OF THE 10 ABOVE MENTIONED BANK ACCOUNTS AND IS $3 MILLION IN THE RED. In closing, somebody should write that app and see what happens. Or, you can just keep shoveling all of your money to the main charities in SB and watch as it flows down them brand spankin’ new pipes currently being laid under the ground on Garden and Anapamu.

J. ‘Don’ Carrroll Santa Barbara (Editor’s Note: There are few times I’ve been totally without words since this paper began, Don, and this is one of them. I’m horrified and offended by your letter, but also can’t shake a morbidly curious feeling that – like it or not – you might actually be on to something. That’s bizarre, I know, but it’s true. Talk about cutting out endless administrative expenses and getting money right to the people – indeed, the very person – a donor wants to affect in a timely fashion. And if both sides are consenting adults, then… well, let them do it.

Maybe. It’s all pretty weird, Don, and I’m not sure where it comes out on the civilized decency scale. You’ve clearly thought way too much about it. I’m done talking about this. – MSM)

Get Smart on Public Art There has been quite a bit of coverage relating to the new project on Yanonali here in the Funk Zone. Most recently, the Sentinel had a feature article relating to the artwork and artists on the new panel doors from Fig Mountain to the Guitar Bar. (Anacapa Project Adds Outdoor Art, Vol. 2, Issue 41.)

I find it a bit sad that there is no coverage of the works by local artists not backed by corporate means. This new project was closed to artists who have done graffiti or street art in the past, giving the panels to artists who have no experience with public art. This leaves many artists forced to pursue public endeavors in other cities or in the gullies and abandoned yards hidden from public view.

I have attached several photos of murals I have completed within the Funk Zone with permission of the property owners that most news outlets are afraid to cover due to the negative and often misinformed local public opinion. If we don’t create outlets for artists pursuing public works, then artists will continue to leave SB to find careers in cities that support public art (or graffiti will persist). Artistic survival is indeed difficult in this town, but I think with the right voice we can change things so artists can survive in SB. Skye Gwilliam Santa Barbara (Editor’s Note: Thanks Skye, I can’t say I know how the artists were selected for the Anacapa Project doors but I do rather enjoy the works displayed, corporate or not, and am glad for the continued dedication to local art. I also fully understand your broad point and am sympathetic, I suppose, although perhaps the idea behind the purported closure to graffiti and street artists is to discourage such art where it is not welcome (e.g., public or private spaces, sans permission).

Either way, the photos of your murals are amazing; maybe you can get on one of those doors next time they come available. Thanks for writing; I appreciate the different voice and perspective. – MSM) (Columnist’s note: Skye, I’m the guy who writes In the Zone and I’m sad that you’re sad that we haven’t yet covered more “local artists not backed by corporate means.” But what about Wallace Piatt or The Arts Fund? A million things happen here each week I’d like to cover, but the column is just a tiny slice of that. I pick up what I can. I’m painting a mosaic here, Skye, but you’ve got to give me more time. I’ve got column ideas for days, but, hey man, I go where the man sends me. – Jeremy Harbin)

On Sovereign Debt, Thomas Jefferson and Michael Franti

Hi Matt, in your comments to my letter a few weeks back, you ask, “Should we default? I’m pretty sure that would be bad. (Ask Argentina, for example, or Germany.)”

(I’m Wearing My Manly Gown But Don’t Know Who or What to Fight, Vol. 2, Issue 40.)

Regardless of the short-term pain – regardless of the financial destruction on Wall Street, the loss of faith in the dollar, the loss of face for America – a default would have served us well in the long run. America is not the country we think she is, not anymore.

She is a sinking ship… an empire in its death throes. To some, such criticism of America will seem impolitic; some might call me unpatriotic. But facts are facts, and the fact is

that America is sick, thanks in large part to the unsustainable debt the Socialists have saddled us with.

Let the following quote sink in, “THERE ARE TWO WAYS TO CONQUER A COUNTRY, ONE IS BY THE SWORD THE OTHER IS BY DEBT.” (John Adams, 1826.) The first exhibit you encountered in Disneyland, prior to the Eisner takeover, was the animated Abraham Lincoln exhibit. In the recorded speech, Abe warned visitors that “No standing army would ever be able to storm the shores of America, and that if the country should fall it would be taken from within.” The following quote is also attributed to him: “There are two enemies I fear. There are the bankers behind me and the Confederacy to my South. The one I fear the most is the one behind me.”

One of the first things Eisner did was remove the Lincoln exhibit under the guise of remodeling. I have heard that the exhibit has been restored, but do not know if it contains Abe’s warning or not.

It should.

In the past, people had to rise up in the streets to defeat tyranny like that which exists here today. Remember the 300 at Thermopylae? They didn’t win but they showed that freedom was worth fighting for. How about Patrick Henry’s famous speech that included the words, “Give me liberty or give me death?”

Fortunately, there are many tactics available to freedom-oriented people today that don’t involve violent revolution. As I pointed out in my aforementioned letter, the Tenth Amendment Center is literally performing miracles at the State level nullifying unconstitutional Federal laws. So if you would like to do something positive, why not volunteer to help them?

Thomas Jefferson stated that “A nation that wishes to remain ignorant and free... wants what never was and never will be.” So why not turn off the boob-tube (you’ll find it very liberating), pick up a copy of the Constitution – it’s easy to read, unlike Obamacare – and study it? (For your children’s sake if nothing else). One last quote from T. Jefferson: “Close not your eyes in slumber yet oh freedom for thine enemy never rests.” And don’t forget the bumper sticker from the sixties and “QUESTION AUTHORITY.” You have freedom of speech. USE IT OR LOSE IT. Larry Bond Santa Barbara (Editor’s Note: Hey Larry, thanks for the letter. I feel compelled to respond at the outset to a few jabs in there. (Maybe I’m just insecure.) First of all, I generally don’t watch the boobtube and agree that getting away from it is liberating. Second, I have read the Constitution and am quite familiar with it – although I suppose it has been awhile. Maybe I’ll dust it off and peruse it before long. Third, I completely agree that debt is a serious threat – indeed, examples of sovereign defaults and their often disastrous are too numerous to list here. That’s why I posed the question in response to your last letter.

So there’s that.

And yet still the question remains: Should we actually default? Are the risks associated with doing so worse than the risks associated with trying to find a way to effectively manage and bring down the present debt? Is there not a middle ground? (Apparently, you think there is not. I respectfully disagree.)

Assuming that there is some path forward other than default, on the one hand, or further digging in the debt hole, on the other, it must be asked whether we, the people, are actually capable of voting the right politicians into office, the ones who can see the writing on the wall and make the appropriate decisions for the country going forward despite the potential short-term political ramifications.

You know, the ones we don’t have in there now.

That Jefferson quote you referenced is even more relevant in its full and complete form: “If a nation expects to be ignorant and free in a state of civilization, it expects what never was and never will be. If we are to guard against ignorance and remain free, it is the responsibility of every American to be informed.” We can’t have it both ways, Larry, and yet most people know little or simply parrot what they hear from the loudest jackass on that damned television you mentioned these days.

I’ve said it before and I will say it again: We, the people, need to learn the issues and we, the people, need to understand potential solutions. Most importantly, we, the people, need to vote wisely. That’s what democracy is all about; it’s what is assumed in our Constitution and what is perhaps the single biggest problem with our modern political structure. The rub, of course, is that many issues and positions are so complex that it would take a full-time effort to really figure them out and debate them adequately. So there’s a bit of a Catch-22 these days: We need more voter understanding and education, but no voter has the time to get educated.

(Certainly not with that pesky television and its pretty colors and intoxicating sounds.)

Hang on, my soapbox needs adjusting. There, I’m back on it again.

If we continue down the seemingly destructive path we’re on and we change nothing, then we are perhaps headed for the abyss. But I believe that we can still change paths. Time may be short, but we can still get it right. Believe it or not, it’s up to you and me and all of us to be the change we seek. We cannot continue to just complain and wait. We must act.

I’ll finish with a quote of my own, Larry, one I think you’ll enjoy: “Oh man, I want a peaceful revolution.” (Michael Franti, 2001.)

And I do. – MSM)

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...continued from p.21

Where it all started: the 1978 Grunion Rugby Football Club.

Look close.

What do you think the average weight in this picture might be?

Don’t forget to account for the men in blue and green to the left.

and re-focused on the blurred world around me, I saw ten more men, maybe twelve, huge men all of them, rumbling toward me.

They had blood and anger and pain in their eyes.

I froze, and time stood still for a moment.

Then I heard it, like a voice from on high: “And if you get tackled, don’t forget to get rid of the ball behind you. If you don’t then the entire other team might attack you, you know step on your hands and stuff like that.”

I quickly got up on all fours – I’m still not sure if this was proper rugby form – and shoved the ball between my legs to a waiting Fossil, who snatched it from behind me and skillfully launched it back the other direction.

I stood up. And the Fossil next to me – I never got his name – looked me over and grunted his approval with the toothy wide-eyed grin of a lunatic. “Good run,” he said, bloodlust in his eyes, and took off toward the action.

I’d not scored that morning, but I’d also not made a total ass of myself.

More importantly, I don’t think I made a mockery of the Grunion RFC. The match soon ended and, just as Doug told me they would, the men who had previously wanted to cause significant harm to each other, quickly bought each other (and me) beers and food from the concession stand.

And we shook hands and clapped each others’ backs and we talked of our wives

and our kids and of the joys of playing rugby.

I had a hell of a good time.

And I learned that rugby is indeed filled with sportsmanship and camaraderie.

Doug was right: It’s a gentleman’s game.

It’s just played by some big old tough ass hooligan ne’er-do-well ruffians.

Stuff I Like

I like the Grunion Rugby Football Club of Santa Barbara, and I genuinely appreciated the opportunity to share the pitch with the Fossils. (Thanks again Doug and all the rest of you.) I was really surprised to find that rugby is a terrific spectator sport, and that Elings Park is a wonderful venue that keeps fans close to the action, players and coaches. There are sausages on the barbeque and cold beers for sale – Fig Mountain is sponsoring the Grunions this year – and the whole thing is definitely worth checking out if you want to see a few skilled men play a tough game. The rugby season doesn’t start until the New Year but your next chance to check the Grunions out comes on Saturday, November 16, 2013. There will be three matches up at Elings that day: SBCC at 10am, UCSB at noon, and the mighty Grunions at 2pm. Go to www.grunionrugby.com for details.

And go get ‘em, Grunions. You’ve got a fan in the Sentinel.

Despite the fact that they are not sexually deviant fish, I also like Gauchos. And I hear that the UCSB women’s volleyball team recently grabbed its eighth straight

I already told you: Go buy Cheri Rae’s book about Pearl Chase.

win, carding its longest winning streak since 2005. Congrats, lady Gauchos, keep the streak alive against Hawaii!

I don’t only like sports this week, I like the arts, too. So I’m glad that Santa Barbara Museum of Art’s next Atelier event is coming up soon. Wendi and I really enjoyed the one we attended last November – it involved 17th century Chinese poetry and art, music and dance, food and wine – and this one looks good too. It’s called The Earth is the Bottom of the Sky, and is inspired by SMBA exhibitions John Diavola: As Far As I Could Get and Totally 80s: Gifts to the Permanent Collection. Think velvet painting collage, pop-up abandoned architecture and gallery games paired with iconic ‘80s tunes and food reimagined and reconstructed. It will be fun, for sure.

Santa Barbara Museum of Art, Friday, November 15, 5:30 – 7:30pm. Call (805) 884-6414 or visit www.sbma.net/atelier. $25 for members/$40 for non. (It’s worth it.)

I like film, and the Ojai Film Fest is going on right now. So if you’d like to skip

town, take a great drive, wander the streets of our quaint neighbor to the southeast and take in a terrific flick, then check out www.ojaifilmfestival.com for schedules and timing. Then make it happen.

It’s not just art and film I like, oh no, I like live theater a lot too. I recently toured the Garden Street Academy and was blown away by the facility and dedication to an enriching curriculum that doesn’t overlook the importance of the arts and really looks to foster not only intellectual traits but also spiritual, emotional and physical ones as well. Garden Street Academy’s Upper School Play – The Wizard of Oz – will be showing each night from November 12 – 15, at 7pm, at the Black Box Theater (2300 Garden Street). My feeling is that it will be a lot of fun, and a great way to experience what’s happening up at GSA. $10 adults/$5 students. Go check it out. (805) 4508263; www.gardenstreetacademy.org.

Finally, I like Santa Barbara’s historical sites and their guardian, the Pearl Chase Society. Pearl’s 125th birthday is November 16, and the PCS has planned a Birthday Toast for her at Arts & Letters Café on November 14 from 5:30 – 7:30pm. RSVP immediately if you want to go, call (805) 682-4415. For details, check out www. pearlchasesociety.org and follow the pertinent prompts. Better first go buy and read local writer Cheri Rae’s book entitled, Pearl Chase: First Lady of Santa Barbara. I hear it’s an interesting read that provides a nice introduction to an extraordinary woman’s life.

Wow. That was a lot of things I like this week. It’s time to be done. Although, wait, I’d be remiss not to congratulate Mayor Schneider and Councilmembers Bendy White, Frank Hotchkiss and newcomer (sort of ) Gregg Hart on their successful campaigns.

So congratulations, y’all… see you soon in City Hall.

Peace. Love.

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