Saved by the Opera! by Montecito Journal

WINTER WONDERLAND

WHEN WEATHER OUTSIDE IS FRIGHTFUL, YOUR SEASONAL GARDEN CAN STILL BE DELIGHTFUL WITH THESE TIPS AND TRICKS FROM MR. GREENJEANS, P. 14

THE FUNK ZONE WORKOUT

NO, IT’S NOT JOGGING FROM TASTING ROOM TO TASTING ROOM; IT’S GETTING SERIOUS AT CHRIS BARTL’S NEW BAYSIDE BARBELL, P. 24

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SAVED BY THE OPERA!

HOW AN EIGHT-YEAR-OLD AND HER FATHER NOT ONLY SURVIVED A DATE AT AN ITALIAN OPERA ABOUT SEX, MURDER AND SUICIDE, BUT DISCOVERED A WHOLE NEW (AND VAGUELY UNCOMFORTABLE) ERA IN THEIR RELATIONSHIP

KIDS SAY THE DARNDEST THINGS…

by Matt Mazza

“T

his is my dad, Matt,” my beautiful-wonderful-brilliant thirdgrade daughter Lily explained to her class. She spoke a bit sheepishly, but still with that reserved confidence that I love so much about her. I’d come in just a moment earlier as the Surprise Reader for the afternoon, and had caught her unawares. “And what does your dad do, Lily?” her teacher prompted.

8 DAYS A WEEK PAGE 10

PRESIDIOSPORTS PAGE 16

“He writes for a newspaper and is a lawyer.” A few oohs and aahs from the class. She looked at me and smiled. I smiled back, proud. “And what’s one thing you’d like the class to know about him?” She considered for a moment, looked at me, smiled again, lovingly, and said: “We don’t see him very much; he works a lot.” And my effing heart fell out of my chest and on to the floor. ...continued p.18

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azza’s Missive – EIC Matt endures the emotional pain and anguish of getting called M out – publicly – by his eight-year-old daughter and tries to make things right by taking her to a rather adult-themed Italian opera filled with sex and violence. Nice, big guy, real nice.

S haron’s Take – Sharon Byrne revisits a key problem in old Government 1.0: People with resources shape and win elections; people without are often left with what they view as being poor choices. How can Government 2.0 start to address the disparity?

P.6 P.7 P.8

It’s Crime Time – Barfers, stoners, cheaters and drunkards. And ninja-transient meth freaks with knife fetishes. Don’t forget them.

P.10

Eight Days a Week – Everybody’s favorite calendar-scribe Jeremy Harbin revises the Mayan Calendar and you’ve only got eight days to live. Better follow his advice this week and go bowling, line dancing, shopping… and don’t forget to tell ‘em eight days sent ya. (Before you die a terrible end-of-the-world-type death. Thanks Jeremy!)

P.12

Letters to the Editor – A 6,000-word letters section? Seriously? This is actually getting to be too much. Maybe we should cap people’s rants and raves. Nah. T he Beer Guy – Zach Rosen goes to the new Telegraph Brewery with an idea, then drinks some wonderful beers and changes his mind. Funny how alcohol does that to otherwise sensible folk. (Nice piece, Zach, Telegraph sounds great. Field trip!)

Santa Barbara View – Roger Dodger and “The Palm” do some good on the Eastside, according to Sharon Byrne; Loretta Redd tackles the rather socialist Pledge of Allegiance (terrific read, thanks); and Ray Estrada goes swing dancing and matchmaking.

P.14

In the Garden with Mr. Greenjeans – EIC Matt says to say thanks, Randy, his wife is planting veggies as we write. (And terrific little thought at the end. The world is a better place for your column this week.)

P.16

Presidio Sports – An Aussie explorer picks NFL winners for Junior Lifeguards this week (still confused here, guys, how do Aussies know anything about American football, and how could that help the Jr. Guards?); Sports Volunteer of the Month, Athletes of the Week and all the local sports and scores and more.

P.24

In the Zone – Ever hear the one about the nerdy kid who got beat out for the basketball squad by the one-legged guy? Well that was no joke, friends, it was the painful childhood sports experience of one of our dearest contributors. An emotionally damaged and rather twig-like present day Jeremy Harbin works out with trainer Chris Bartl at Bayside Barbell in the Funk Zone in a thinly-veiled attempt at redemption. But redemption has a high price. Can Jeremy pay it?

P.26

Stylin’ & Profilin’ – Newcomer Megan Waldrep likes what people in Santa Barbara wear. Well, she likes what the cool people in Santa Barbara wear, anyway. And she’s profiling them. But this type of profiling is legal. We think.

P.28

Mad Science – Nerd alert! Rachelle goes to Neuroscience 2013 in San Diego and learns about dysphoria in the conference center and euphoria in the surrounding clubs and discos. These nerds know how to party. (Sentinel field trip!)

P.29

Man About Town – Mark Léisuré likes movies about men who climb mountains. (That’s not very leisurely, Mark, can we get back to the drinking and parties around town? Please?) He also likes folk music. (Mark, we need to talk about the direction of your column.)

Food File – Christina Enoch likes Pace. A lot. Better check it out, pronto. Keepin’ It Reel – Note to self: Jim Luksic doesn’t like repeating himself about buttered popcorn and bubbly drinks laden with high fructose corn syrup in movie theatres. But he does like sci-fi. Kinda. Some of it, anyway.

P.34

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The Mindful Word – Diana Raab recently participated in a Confessional Writing Workshop that she quite enjoyed. (Hey Diana, one might argue that the Sentinel is one giant example of confessional writing. Agree? Disagree? There are lots of personal anecdotes and an overwhelmingly offensive utilization of “I.” Thoughts?)

P.38

Plan B – Briana Westmacott recalls growing up with a beer drinking man who drove a windowless van and pulled her teeth out with strings attached to doors. Hey Santa Barbara, send us your similarly joyful early memories!

P.39 P.41

Santa Barbara Skinny – Beautiful bovines from France and jalapeno jelly from Ojai. And stuff to do this weekend. Fun stuff. And pies. From Elizabeth Colling. The Elizabeth Colling.

Residential Real Estate – Amateur taxidermist and renowned small game hunter Michael Calcagno suggests using old Sentinels to light fires. We have an idea, Michael, why don’t you stuff a few old Sentinels up your… latest dead squirrel kill. Michael does some real estate stuff too. (Rather well. Thank you Michael.) A respectable, reputable Justin Kellenberger runs the numbers.

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by Sharon Byrne

take

Sharon Byrne is a lead writer for www.sbview.com, an outlet for informed opinion writing and thoughtful analysis about the stories, events and people that shape Santa Barbara. Sharon’s education in engineering and psychology gives her a distinctive mix of skills for writing about and working on quality-of-life, public safety and public policy issues. Her hyper-local Milpas on the Move column can be found each week on page 12.

Getting Out Of the Political Rut

here are many levels at which one might engage in politics. Voting in every Presidential election is one level. You can write letters to the editor, or a blog. Lots of time, money and effort are spent in shaping political outcomes by working on campaigns, or within a party or interest group. And finally, there’s the serious insidebaseball-play: lobbying or holding office. Few of us can do much more than pay close attention, talk to friends, contribute to campaigns, host yard signs, and vote regularly. People have jobs, children to raise, and so on. They can’t throw endless hours into politics. This is a key problem of Government 1.0: those in possession of significant time and money deploy these to shape outcomes. Those without such resources feel stuck with poor choices, and try to select the option that does the least damage. Some of the comments at the View over last week’s election yielded a sort of fingeron-the-pulse of the collective (at least the collective reading the View, a group that

watches local politics rather closely) that is in surprising contrast to the actual election outcome. Those of us politically engaged were not surprised. Incumbents are hard to defeat, unless they commit egregious acts in office, or fail completely to campaign. Gregg Hart, like him or not, ran a flawless campaign, broke a record in fundraising, and had every endorsement needed to win. The surprise is in discovering there are more people outside one’s bubble of thinking than within it. In other words, though the problem of pension liabilities, for example, may be perfectly obvious to you, and entirely logical, this in no way means that everyone else sees it the same way. If the election outcome did not match with your sense of reality, it indicates you are in a political minority and that whatever it is you see has either not penetrated the majority consciousness, or it has, and they don’t agree that it’s a problem. You can respond by becoming more politically engaged: work on campaigns, put

serious time, effort and money into getting the messages you believe need to be heard out there, but those are big time and money investments few of us can reasonably make. Maybe, then, it’s time to step outside the lines and try Something Else. Instead of trying to change the Big Picture, for example, aim smaller. Much smaller. In August, Loretta Redd and I were invited to participate in a Conversation In The Living Room. The idea is simple: bring a small group of presently polarized people into an intimate setting, a living room. Establish ground rules of engagement, and then explore the terrain respectfully, taking time to listen to other points of view, and then seeking places where you could work together. Joan Blades, co-founder of MoveOn.org, facilitated ours, and it was respectful and open-minded. It’s not rocket science. Instead of moving immediately into derision mode with those who don’t agree with us, we ought to be looking at reality, be willing to shed the cloak of ideology, that strong framework we carry on how things SHOULD be, and look instead at how they are, and explore if there’s some opportunity there for opposing viewpoints to generate some other outcome. It’s hard to sit down with someone opposed to you. You have to stop thinking about lining up people on their respective sides of the aisle, and instead embrace a

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goal of carving out some new aisle we can all stand in. We might have strong feelings about gun control or the Drug War, for example, but can listen to someone else’s view, and not feel threatened by it. We can learn how they arrived at that view, and see if there are places where the picture doesn’t quite hang together. Perhaps the best starting place is simple acceptance that whatever we’re currently doing on a particular issue isn’t working. Instead of giving in immediately to the very natural psychological reflex of doubling down, which only escalates polarity, leave that rut to try something else. Try listening actively, looking for openings, and exploring places where we can agree. Things are seldom truly black and white. The gray is where all the potential is. So open that up, in a small, intimate setting. Not all that long ago, and in some parts of the world today, death is the outcome of political loss. In this country, that is not the case, thankfully, so perhaps we can put down our theoretical swords, come off Red Terror Alert, and act like civilized people working together on smart outcomes for thorny problems by starting very small: with conversations in our living rooms. If we can find agreement in the small space, can we scale it to larger stages? Only by trying will we find out. If you would like to host or be part of a Conversation in the Living Room, you can learn more about it here: http://www. livingroomconversations.org

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It'sCrimetime...

...with the SBPD

A variety of crimes are committed every day in Santa Barbara; most of these crimes are petty but they do offer a window into if not the soul of the perpetrator, at least his or her thought process. Our following (and totally unsolicited) thoughts, observations and comments are put forth for your consideration.

Blowing Chunks, Blowing the Horn and Generally Blowing It

27-year-old man from Newbury Park came to town last weekend and had himself waaaaay too much fun. That became abundantly clear when SBPD responded to a disturbance call at 11:30pm one night on the Westside, and found our friend covered head-to-toe in his own vomit and passed out in the driver’s seat of his vehicle. But that wasn’t the reason for the call. The reason for the call was that the poor guy had passed out with his forehead firmly resting on his steering wheel, thereby causing his face to incessantly blow the horn much to the neighborhood’s chagrin. Pretty unlucky, frankly. Except for the fact that he was only detained for public intoxication, that is. Guess he hadn’t been able to figure out how to get his vomit-covered keys in to the vomit-covered ignition. One word: Slippery. (Or slimy. Definitely applicable.)

Yeah… Right An SUV was stolen sometime last weekend from a busy Eastside street. The owner reported stolen a set of golf clubs valued at $1,500 and an “electrical harness” valued at $2,600. Sounds pretty standard... wait. An “electrical harness?” Wow, that’s some quick thinking as the cops were asking about what was inside. That “harness” must’ve been gold-plated. And those clubs must’ve had platinum shafts. Hey, come to think of it, are you sure you didn’t leave a cache of rubies and other precious stones in the glove box? Gold coins in the center console? A diamond-encrusted scepter on the backseat? A frickin’ pirate’s treasure chest in the trunk? Come on, there must’ve been at least $50,000 worth of stuff left in that SUV. That you parked on a dubious (at best) Eastside street. For three days.

Publisher • Tim Buckley | Editor-in-Chief • Matt Mazza Design/Production • Trent Watanabe Contributing Partners Opinion • sbview.com | Sports • Presidiosports.com Santa Barbara Skinny • SantaBarbaraSkinny.com Columnists Shop Girl • Kateri Wazny | You Have Your Hands Full • Mara Peters Plan B • Briana Westmacott | The Dish • Wendy Jenson Journal Jim • James Buckley | Real Estate • Michael Calcagno Commercial Corner • Austin Herlihy | The Weekly Capitalist • Jeff Harding Man About Town • Mark Leisure | In The Garden • Randy Arnowitz The Beer Guy • Zach Rosen | The Mindful Word • Diana M. Raab Girl About Town • Julie Bifano | In The Zone • Jeremy Harbin Mad Science • Rachelle Oldmixon | Keepin’ It Reel • Jim Luksic Pump It • Jenny Schatzle | Faces Of Santa Barbara • Patricia Clarke Photographer • Wendi Mazza | Stylin’ & Profilin’ • Megan Waldrep Howlin’ at the Moon • Joseph Timmons | Food File • Christina Enoch Advertising/Sales Tanis Nelson 805.689.0304 • tanis@santabarbarasentinel.com Sue Brooks 805.455.9116 • sue@santabarbarasentinel.com Judson Bardwell 619.379.1506 • judson@santabarbarasentinel.com Published by SB Sentinel, LLC PRINTED BY NPCP INC., SANTA BARBARA, CA Santa Barbara Sentinel is compiled every Friday 133 EAST DE LA GUERRA STREET, #182, Santa Barbara 93101 How to reach us: 805.845.1673 • E-MAIL: matt@santabarbarasentinel.com

CRIME TIME QUOTE OF THE WEEK “What do you want, a punch in the face?” - A 62-year-old homeless woman to a bewildered Starbuck’s employee – who had asked her to leave because she was screaming and yelling at customers – just before she punched the barista in the face. Then the homeless woman walked down the street and socked a Ralph’s employee in the arm before being arrested for both batteries. We’ve heard of aggressive panhandling, sure, but that’s no way to ask for coffee and a donut.

Here’s One for You: What’s Better Than a Meth-Addict With a Cycling Habit? A Meth-Addict with a Knife Fetish, Of Course! SBPD approached a suspicious-looking 49-year-old transient man in McKenzie Park one morning last week, and ultimately discovered a dirty old meth pipe in his pocket and two “throwing knives” nearby. (Yeah, like the kind ninjas carry. Drunken homeless ninjas in this particular case.) Officers also discovered that the man was on felony probation for “possession of a dirk or dagger.” Wait, we always thought a “Dirk” was a man with an incredibly large… oh forget it. Dirk isn’t always a Diggler, you know, Dirk can also be a short dagger carried by Scottish Highlanders… or Santa Barbara Lowlifers, as here. Thankfully, ninja-bum was quickly arrested and the good people of Santa Barbara in parks with their children were spared from another meth freak with a knife fetish. Thanks SBPD. Nice work.

Bush-Whacker (Weed-Eater?) A 21-year-old Isla Vista woman was seen by officers stumbling down the State Street sidewalk, running in front of traffic and falling face-first into bushes and planters at 1:35am. (Maybe she was just tired. Forget it.) The cops quickly determined that the young woman was a danger to herself and detained her for public drunkenness. She then confided in officers that she had consumed many plants. Drinks. She’d consumed many drinks.

Oxnardian Admits to Plotting Caper Involving “Marijuana Pipe Bong” A 19-year-old Oxnard man-boy was stoned in his car and (surprise!) didn’t notice when officers approached. Under tough questioning that ultimately led to his arrest on a variety of charges, he admitted to planning a caper to steal a “marijuana pipe bong” from a local head shop. (What the hell is a “marijuana pipe bong” anyway? The reporting officer must really know his/her paraphernalia.) He also smelled strongly of the vile weed, had glazed and bloodshot eyes, and failed every conceivable field sobriety test, including, “Sir, please state your name.”

A Stoner Without Conviction Is, Well, Likely to be Convicted A 21-year-old local man was pulled over for a stupid traffic offense by a motorcycle cop. When the man couldn’t produce identification, the officer asked him to step out of the vehicle, and then whether he had anything illegal on him. “No,” he responded but, apparently, he wasn’t convincing enough. A consensual search revealed a tiny bag of weed in his pocket. That led to a broader search, which turned up a few ounces of pot together with a digital scale in the car. Here’s our version of the ensuing conversation based on the police report: “That seems like a lot of marijuana, son.” Officer John Baker lowered his shades and narrowed his eyes. “Yeah, ah, sir… ah, I don’t sell it but I, ah, give it away, yeah, I give it away to people who want it in carefully measured amounts. I was just on my way to a little gathering with some friends, so I stocked up to help everybody out. I thought I’d measure it all down to the nearest hundredth of a gram.” He wasn’t very convincing that time, either, and was arrested for possession with intent to sell and transporting the hippie lettuce.

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Letters

Although you might not believe it, we actually want to hear from you. So if you have something you think we should know about or you see something we've said that you think is cretinous (or perspicacious, to be fair), then let us know. There's no limit on words or subject matter, so go ahead and let it rip to: Santa Barbara Sentinel, Letters to the Editor, 133 East De La Guerra Street, No. 182, Santa Barbara, California 93101. You can also leap into the 21st century and email us at letters@santabarbarasentinel.com.

Making Macala’s Mexican Mosaics?

Add Dan Encell to your team of trusted advisors!

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Viva El Sentin!

i Matt, hope this finds you well! Congratulations on the one-year anniversary of the paper. Love reading your stuff and all the other stories. My husband and I just got back from a long week in Todos Santos, Pescadero and Cerritos beaches down in Baja. Being the world traveler you are I am guessing you know the area. It’s our third visit in a year and a half and this trip actually involved research for me to teach a mosaic retreat down there. Pretty exciting. Anyway we also brought some reading material so here is a pic of me reading an issue of the Sentinel poolside at a small boutique hotel called Hacienda Cerritos. Pretty spectacular place… if you are ever down there check it out. Take care and hope to see you around!! Tami Macala All Cracked Up Mosaics Goleta (Editor’s Note: Tami! Great to hear from you; I always love a voice from the past. I remember walking around one of your backyard mosaic workshops late last year like it was yesterday. (Remember Making Macala’s Mosaics, Vol. 1, Issue 12?) It was a sunny mid-December day, the artists were thrilled with their projects, smiling and happy, you were nailing it with your Santa Barbara School of Mosaic Art… and I had no idea what the hell I was doing. Ah, the good old days. Anyway, I’m glad you’re still reading and enjoying the paper. I have indeed traveled quite a bit – and I’ve done Baja a bunch of times over the years – but I haven’t been to the area you mentioned. Maybe I should come down with Wendi for one of those Mexican mosaic retreats to check it out. Do let me know details. Thanks for writing in, and happy holidays. (By the way, people, Tami’s seminars are the real deal, and they make great gifts for the artsy-craftsy types on your list. Check out the schedule at www.

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santabarbaraschoolofmosaicart.com, and check out some of Tami’s commissioned work at www.allcrackedupmosaics.com. – MSM)

Curing Homelessness with an iPhone App: Not A Bad Idea?

In response to Mr. J. ‘Don’ Carroll’s letter entitled On Curing Homelessness With An iPhone App (Vol. 2, Issue 43), I must ask the following. Satire? Yes. Sarcastic? Very much so. Crude? Absolutely. Politically correct? Absolutely not. Fundamentally right? Of course it is. Whether you like it or not, Mr. Carroll’s suggestion is a way to cut all the administrative BS when it comes to donating money, food or clothing to the shelters here in SB. Just donate straight to the homeless individual yourself, Don says. At least it is not flowing down those “brand spankin’ new pipes currently being laid under the ground on Garden and Anapamu streets” as he stated. And of course it’s missing those ten bank accounts he mentioned as well. I met Mr. Carroll sometime late last year, and he is a very colorful character. I may not agree with him all the time, but sometimes he does have some interesting views on things. There are times I cannot tell if he is serious or just being funny and sarcastic. But I do think he is on to something with his letter. Jose Arturo Ortiz de MartinezGallegos Santa Barbara (Editor’s Note: Jose! Thanks for writing. Mr. Carroll’s suggestion last week of direct donations via an iPhone app is potentially an interesting one, I guess, although it reeks of all sorts of smelly ethical stuff. Call me crazy but I actually think that matters… you know, human dignity, equal treatment and all that jazz? ...continued p.30

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by Zach Rosen

Telegraph’s New Brewery (and Tap X): Part II

Telegraph’s Abbey Ale, available just once a year. Better hurry in.

GUITARS. AMPLIFIERS. ACCESSORIES. LESSONS. REPAIRS. AWESOME.

“GET YOUR STOMP ON”

Guitar: Taylor 614ce in Honeyburst Christian Garvin, Proprietor, Avelina Wine Co., 131 Anacapa St./Helena St.

n the last issue, I wrote the first part of a two-part series about the expansion of Telegraph Brewery. The plan was to head into the brewery this week and write Part II on each one of the beers available in their tasting room. The article would, predictably, highlight the beers’ flavors and delve into the background of the different brews. That was the plan. But when I went into the brewery, my experience with one of their beers was far more interesting than what I had expected to write on and it seemed to sum up what makes Telegraph Brewery the central coast’s most unique brewery. So the plan changed.

The Tasting Room

Getting ready to take some tasting notes, I called Telegraph’s bar manager George Gutierrez and we drove to the brewery together. (As I said last week, it’s next door to their old one at 418 North Salsipuedes Street.) We entered the arched building and were welcomed by the sound of jazz and laughter. Telegraph’s sales manager Trevor Scoggins and bartender Rob Peed were behind the bar, joking with guests.

In the sunlit tasting room, two long bars run the width of the front wall. They are constructed of cherry-colored wood fastened to brushed metal counter tops with large, oversized bolts that add a stylized definition. The tasting area is surrounded by walls of khaki, cream and steel blue. A section off to the right side leads to the brewery and has a cubby space with a dart board and room for overflow. Behind the bar, the more prestigious of the awards Telegraph has won over the years are displayed on the wall. A small painting by local landscape artist, Chris Potter, is featured in the middle of the framed accolades. The old Telegraph Brewery is shown in the painting with bright, clean colors. On the left of the image, the curved wall of their new brewery peeks into the scene. We found a seat at the bar and I looked over their ten taps, and I was delighted to find two new beers on the list since the last time I had visited. In particular, I was thrilled to see Telegraph’s Abbey Ale and quickly ordered it. This beer is brewed only once a year and gets its billowing, fruity nose from their house yeast. The amber-colored beer has notes

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Corks n’ Crowns

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137 ANACAPA STREET SUITE A • 805/770-7242 • SBGUITARBAR.COM

32 Anacapa Street in the heart of Santa Barbara's Funk Zone

Hours: Monday-Sunday 11am-7pm

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Zach Rosen is a Certified Cicerone® and beer educator living in Santa Barbara. He uses his background in chemical engineering and the arts to seek out abstract expressions of beer and discover how beer pairs with life.

of apricot and grape on top of a caramel, bread backdrop. At 8.2% ABV, there is an alcohol warmth throughout the flavors and the beer finishes with a touch of bitter licorice root. This beer is the base for their Gypsy Ale, an annual brew that is aged on local plums and the microorganism, brettanomyces.

X Marks the Spot

With the Abbey Ale finished and the conversation now rolling I looked up at the beer list for the other new brew I had spotted. I found it at the very bottom of the list, a Roman Numeral X marking the spot of their tenth beer, Old Fashioned Saison. The tenth tap handle is reserved only for Telegraph’s rarest offerings and the brewers have used an X to indicate where they’ve placed their treasure. The Old Fashioned Saison is a special edition of their Los Padres Saison that has been aged in Buffalo Trace bourbon barrels. The beer is named after its aroma, which resembles an Old Fashioned cocktail. Upon arrival, my nose was struck with the classic flavors of its namesake drink, orange peel, toffee and a gentle bourbon note. Undertones of earth, black pepper and oak characterize the barrel’s contributions. I began to try and identify the exact character of the bourbon attributes and that was when I started becoming suspicious. The boozey, brown sugar and vanilla bean notes commonly added by bourbon barrel aging were distinct but toned down. There was a sweet, spicybread note present that is commonly associated with rye grain. I was pretty sure the saison didn’t use rye and it seemed too strong to come just from the barrel. Hmmm. Suspicious. The color of the beer was the next thing to arouse my skepticism. The hue appeared to have too deep of a red color to be formed from only the saison and the barrel. The flavors were tremendous but I was puzzled how the Los Padres Saison and Buffalo Trace Bourbon Barrel alone could create them. There had to be something else contributing to the flavors. At the height of my confusion, Brewer Paul Rey materialized. Paul is in charge of Telegraph’s barrel program and we started discussing the Old Fashioned Saison. He mentioned that the Buffalo Trace barrel was first used to produce Obscura Aurantium, a rare beer that

was commissioned by K&L Wine Merchants to be sold only at their stores. This special edition of their bold, Rhinoceros Rye has been aged in the Buffalo Trace barrel with Seville orange peels (the scientific label being Citrus aurantium, hence the name). Paul explained that when the Obscura Aurantium had been drained from the barrel, there were a few gallons of liquid left in the bottom. As Paul looked at it he noticed the orange peels’ essential oils shimmering on the surface. Not wanting to waste this concentrated orange essence, he decided to keep the liquid remnants in the barrel and blend it in with the Los Padres Saison. The volume of leftover beer may have been small but it had a large influence on the flavor of the Old Fashioned Saison. This was the missing piece I was looking for.

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complexity, absorbing traits from the liquid it previously contained. This was absolutely the extra element in the Old Fashioned Saison. The evening was wearing on and Trevor was starting to shut down the tasting room. Before he cleaned up the beer taps I made sure to grab one last taste of the Old Fashioned Saison. The presence of Obscura Aurantium was now clear and its small but significant contribution to the flavors signify the subtle complexity that Telegraph places into every one of their beers. We finished our glasses and headed off into the evening with

the jazz music still chattering behind us. As we left, I dreamed about what treasure I would discover next on Tap Number X. Telegraph is doing some special things – as they’ve always done – and my experience reminded me of that particular character in their brewing. It’s worth a stop in and a beer or two, for sure, and I hope to see you on North Salsipuedes soon.

Tasting Room Hours

Tuesday – Thursday, 2 pm – 8 pm Friday – Saturday, 2 pm – 10 pm Sunday, 1 pm – 7 pm

Obscura Aurantium

As we all continued to talk, Paul got up and headed into the brewery. A few minutes later he returned with an unmarked bottle in one hand and an unused label in the other hand. Warning: Happy times ahead. Removing the label’s backing he placed it on the bottle and moved his hand. Framed by two orange slices, the words Obscura Aurantium were clearly displayed on the label. Glasses were brought forth and we all prepared to indulge in this rarity. Rhinoceros Rye, the base beer, is a burly, 10% ABV amber beer that gets its dry, spicy-bread flavors from a heavy use of rye. The rye was still apparent in the beer but it had gained a richer flavor that was jammy with a dense, clean sweetness reminiscent of agave nectar. The thick aroma of orange peels blended with a spicy, kirsch-like flavor to form the prominent theme of the beer’s taste. The liquid was bursting with bubbles, lightening the heavier mouthfeel. The bourbon character was stronger than in the Old Fashioned Saison since the barrel was fresher when the Obscura Aurantium was being aged in it. Each time a barrel is refilled, the wood character softens but the flavors deepen with

Visit our main production facility and taproom at:

45 Industrial Way Buellton, CA 93427 (805) 694-2252

Or if you’re in Santa Barbara, visit our new tasting room in the Funk Zone at: 137 Anacapa St., Suite F, Santa Barbara, CA 93101 (805) 694-2255

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8•Days• a•Week We Ain’t Got Nothin’ But Love, Babe…

by Jeremy Harbin

Want to be a part of Eight Days A Week?

Space is limited, but if you have an event, exhibit, performance, book signing, sale, opening, trunk show or anything else interesting or creative that readers can attend, let us know at 805-845-1673 or email us at tim@santabarbarasentinel.com. We’ll consider all suggestions, but we will give extra consideration to unusual events and/or items, especially those accompanied by a good visual, particularly those that have yet to be published.

Friday November 15

Bowl for a Cause

Did you know that the Mayan calendar was based on an eightday week? That’s why the world didn’t explode at the end of last year like everyone thought it would. The real drop-dead date is Friday, November 22. That’s right: the last day of this week. So you’d better live your last eight days on earth to the fullest by attending every event on this calendar, starting with tonight’s United We Bowl fundraiser at Zodo’s Bowling and Beyond (5925 Calle Real, Goleta). The funds in question will go to United Way’s Young Leaders Society’s 5th Annual United We Read program, and the bowler in question is you. It starts at 6pm tonight, and costs $30 for individuals and $180 for a team of six. Sign up at www.unitedwaysb.org.

Saturday November 16

Hoedown, Funds Up

Go down to the hoedown today at Montecito Country Club (920 Summit Road). That’s the Howard Hoedown, to be exact, and it’s their annual fundraising benefit. They’ve got all sorts of family fun planned from 3 to 8pm, like line dancing, barbeque, live music, an auction and a photo booth. Montecito Country Club’s Chef Blackwell will prepare the ‘que, and the music comes courtesy of the country band Caught Red Handed. Ian Cutler of Cutler’s Artisan Spirits will also be there to facilitate a whiskey tasting. This event is open to the public, and tickets start at $75. For tickets and more information, go to www.thehowardschool.org.

picture for you and yours, but you need to get ready for those eight crazy nights that are quickly approaching. (Alternate version for anyone feeling alienated: With winter solstice on the horizon, it’s time to start trimming the peace branch and preparing your soul blessings.) So you might find useful the program offered today from 3:30 to 4:30pm at the Santa Barbara Public Library’s Goleta branch (500 North Fairview Avenue). Allison Gray, a supervisor at the library and a youth literature expert, will discuss the highlights from the past year in kids’ books so you can pick out the right one for the little book lover in your life. It’s free to attend. Call 805.964.7878 or go to www.sbplibrary.org for more information. If you can’t make it today, Allison will also speak at the Montecito Library (1469 East Valley Road) on Wednesday, November 20 at 10am and at the Central Library (40 East Anapamu Street) on Saturday, November 23 at 11am.

Monday November 18 Zoo for You

Call the police! …if you want to get into the zoo for free today. Well, call a friend who’s a cop if you have one, or an EMT, firefighter or sheriff, and tell them to take you down to see the animals that reside at 500 Niños Drive. Until Sunday, the 24th, the Santa Barbara Zoo is showing its appreciation to emergency responders by offering free admission to them, two children and one other adult. They’ll just need to bring along a work ID. The Zoo is open from 10am to 5pm every day. Go to www.sbzoo.org or call 805.962.5339 for more information.

Tuesday November 19

Planetary Proceeds

Sunday November 17

Holiday Gift Ideas

With Santy Claus making his yearly run in about a month and a half, it’s time for you adults out there to start thinking about what he’s going to leave under the tree. Or maybe Santa’s not in the

1431 San Andres Street

Let’s face it folks; this planet’s on its way out. (If not at the end of this eight-day week as predicted by the revised Mayan calendar, then sometime very soon thereafter.) Instead of driving down the road all day long emptying aerosol hair sprays out the window, isn’t it time we gave a little bit back to the planet? Like maybe just 1 percent? The 1% for the Planet organization is hosting a meet-up tonight from 6 to 8pm. There, attendees will network and socialize and learn more about the program, which helps its member companies donate 1 percent of net sales to environment protection organizations. If this sounds like something you might be interested in, Workzones (351 Paseo Nuevo) is the place to be for free tonight. RSVP by emailing david@loacom.com. Find out more about 1% for the Planet at www.onepercentfortheplanet.org.

Wednesday November 20 Poetry…

BoHenry’s www.bohenry.com

Roses are red, violets are blue, if this isn’t the best idea for a way to start an entry about poetry, then I don’t know what is. (Dang… didn’t rhyme.) While calendar writers – even beloved and adored ones – aren’t known for their verse, poet laureates are. And it just so happens that Santa Barbara’s Poet Laureate Paul Willis, who’s also a Westmont English professor, will read from his new book of poems, Say This Prayer Into the Past, at tonight at 7pm at Granada Books (1224 State Street). You can pick up a copy there and have it signed. If you can’t make it or just didn’t get enough, Paul will read again tomorrow at 4pm in Kerrwood Hall on the Westmont Campus (955 La Paz Road). Both readings are free.

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Thursday November 21

GrA

…In Motion

n G I o N ! Pm I n E p nD O rAt M – 8 2p B e H t L 6 e 1 C y, NoV.

dA SaTuR

Creative types love to explore things, don’t they? They’re always exploring, never providing any real answers. But don’t worry, creatives. That’s just a bit of gentle razzing; we appreciate your good work, and we love to watch you explore. And if you, the reader, love that too, then you’ll want to head to Westmont’s Porter Theatre (955 La Paz Road). At 8pm tonight, Westmont dancers will perform their fall program, “Eyes Wide Open,” in which they’ll explore the space of the theatre. (More cowbell?) Co-directors Susan Alexander and Christina Sanchez promise surprises. Tickets are $10, $7 for students, kids and seniors. Get them at www.westmont.edu/boxoffice or by calling 805.565.7140. “Eyes Wide Open” will also be staged tomorrow and Saturday at the same time and place.

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 mUsT bE 21+

Friday November 22

South Side Times

It’s Funk Zone Friday. So when you get off work today, do these things, in this order: Take a shower. Do something special with your hair and put on your favorite shirt. Call your friends and explain what Funk Zone Friday is. Call The Lark to see if you can get a table (because you’ve heard good things and it’s time you experienced this place for yourself). There’s no table. Drive to the Funk Zone. Point out the neat stuff hanging on the art poles to your friends on the walk from the car to Seven Bar & Kitchen (224 Helena). Enjoy your meal. Spend the rest of your night at either A) Red’s (211 Helena) or B) the still-new Avelina Wine Co. (131 Anacapa) for some wine and live music. And most importantly, wherever this calendar may take you, always remember, like we’ve said here since the inception of this paper, tell ‘em 8 Days sent ya.

•                                     •                 •       •         •               

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Santa Barbara’s Online Magazine, Published Twice Daily

sbview.com

Roger Dodger by Sharon Byrne

Sharon Byrne

Sharon Byrne is executive director for the Milpas Community Association, and currently serves on the Advisory Boards for the Salvation Army Hospitality House and Santa Barbara County Alcohol and Drug Problems.

sbview.com

One of our local heroes, Edhat’s Roger Dodger.

dhat is turning 10 years old this week, and perhaps its most enduring and beloved feature is Roger Dodger, who writes the thrice-weekly scanner reports. Roger is a resident of the Milpas area, our Very Best Neighborhood Watcher, and our local celebrity on the corridor. He mixes his scanner reports with personal history that is, at times, very hard to read as the subject material is intensely personal and chronicles his personal struggles with childhood abuse, homelessness and alcoholism. But those gritty experiences provide him with a wealth of insight into what takes place on our streets. You may not agree with him on everything, but you have to admit the man has his finger firmly on the pulse of some of the seamier bits of Santa Barbara. He has little patience with criminals and alcohol-fuelled incidents, though he will ardently defend the use of medicinal pot. Having lived here for decades, Roger knows many neighborhoods quite well, and the host of characters that plague some of them. He knows exactly where I live, for example, and where all the trouble spots around me are. He knows the repeat call addresses on Milpas, which has helped

us in focusing efforts on those properties with the most problems. Recently, recognizing I might be out working in the Milpas area, he started sending me high priority emails or calling me directly when something was going down near me, or on Milpas that we needed to be immediately concerned about. I will often get his phone call, and now John Palminteri’s text, on the subject within seconds of each other. (The Palm, too, has an ear on the police scanner.) When the shooting happened on Olive St. in February, I knew immediately, thanks to them. I was then able to get the word out to 300 people on our email list and Facebook page in the vicinity, urging them to stay away, as the area was cordoned off. I would keep sending updates as I got them, and many neighbors wrote back or called right away, thanking me for letting them know what was going on because they had no other way to know. That thanks should actually go to Roger, and the Palm, who not only report on emergencies as they unfold, but have taken a forward step into becoming a (free) first-alert service of their own for the Milpas community. They now have a bit of a friendly competition as to who will

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Loretta Redd’s diverse background includes being a psychologist, business owner, non-profit director, Air Force officer, writer, speaker, and executive coach. Loretta has served on several Santa Barbara city committees and has been a candidate for public office.

cover a breaking incident first: Roger or the Palm. They’re gracious about it. Roger has his own vocabulary, which has started gaining wider usage locally. The “Milpas Underpants” will stand the test of time, I suspect, as will “Dog Willing,” and the “Wood Chipper,” Roger’s mental invention for the worstof-the-worst criminals, child molesters. Edhat is famous for its Nanny – the site censor for offensive remarks. Roger can be egged on by mean-spirited posters, and fight fire with fire, and then often lands in the Nanny zone. Sometimes he expects it. Sometimes he’s surprised. But he never stops listening to the scanner, and reporting what he hears. He even carries a portable one with him when he goes to the store, just in case. He’s got quite a fan following, and has been the recipient of some serious community love. There was the microwave, the office chair and a few other essentials his limited budget wouldn’t allow. Fans responded immediately to provide. When Pooh Bear (his cat) got sick, well wishes poured across cyber space, as they did when he began to struggle with diet changes he needed to make for his health. Roger is my front-runner for Santa Claus in the Milpas Holiday Parade, but trying to convince him to get up in the big fire engine is another matter. The neighbor known fondly as “Big Bird” on Milpas is very camera shy. He watches all our goings-on with interest, but I can never get him to make an appearance, despite offering every bribe of delectable food I can think up. We gave him an honorary Good Neighbor award that I had to present to him privately in his driveway. Did I mention he doesn’t like being a public figure? One of the best guys I’ve been lucky enough to run across, here’s a big hug to you, Roger, from all your fans on Milpas and across the city!

I Pledge Allegiance To…? by Loretta Redd

Perhaps it’s an indication of my advancing years, but I miss rituals. For all the benefits of our fast changing

Loretta Redd

sbview.com

world, with its technological advances, global communication and cultural sharing, there is something comforting about ceremonial acts and observances. Perhaps it explains our fascination with the Royal family of Britain, or the renewed interest in Catholicism and its solemn ceremonies under Pope Francis. We have rituals in this country, though as innovative and inventive as we Americans are, few observances have been resistant to change. Take the Pledge of Allegiance as an example. From the time we were in elementary school, most of us have memorized and recited the Pledge – mouthing the words mindlessly in anticipation of whatever activity was to follow. It’s not as exciting as some musical celebrity belting out the Star Spangled Banner, nor does it lend itself to overly eager sports fans shouting out “play ball” before the last line is finished. The Pledge of Allegiance, used to open numerous conservative, religious and service club meetings, was written by Mr. Francis Bellamy and published in a booklet called The Youth’s Companion in 1892. What most people don’t know is that Mr. Bellamy was a Christian Socialist who believed in the redistribution of economic resources inherent in the teachings of Jesus. The original pledge went like this: “I pledge allegiance to my Flag and the Republic for which it stands, one nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.” In addition to Mr. Bellamy having a rather socialistic view of the world, it was his intention that his pledge could be used by every citizen of any country in the world, as long as they had a flag as a symbol of unity. Mr. Bellamy also envisioned the physical flag salute as being in the military style, with the right hand raised to the eyebrow. At the mention of the words, “to the flag,” the arm would then be extended straight out toward the flag with the palm upward. That flag salute was again changed to begin with the right hand over the heart, with the extension of the arm toward the flag, but with the palm downward. It wasn’t until 1923, on the 400th anniversary of Christopher Columbus’ arrival in the New World, that the words “my flag” were changed to “the flag of the United States.” Seems the Columbus Day committee wanted assurance that immigrants to our shores were pledging loyalty to their “new” country rather than

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Ray Estrada is a writer, opinion” could not be compelled in our on three weekends for the first time. their old one. editor and media consul“After the first two years, one of Some committee members called for nations’ public school system, finding tant who has worked for newspapers, radio news, the artists suggested we do it on two the words “equality and fraternity” to be that any recitation of the pledge had to be wire services and online Saturdays,” Silva said. “Last year, one added to the Pledge. But after reflecting conducted voluntarily. publications for the past Twelve years later, consumed with of the customers suggested we have an on the fact that women had won the 40 years. He has taught journalism at the Univerearly boutique to get early shopping and right to vote three years prior and African fears that Communism might spread sity of Southern California mailing done.” That means the series of Americans did not yet have that right, across the globe, President Dwight and now runs his own consulting business based David Eisenhower convinced Congress gift boutiques will start before Hanukkah. they dropped their insistence. by Ray Estrada in Santa Barbara. to add the words, “under God,” much to It would be 1945 before Congress would call for a further clarification of the objection of Mr. Bellamy’s daughter. ‘Mingle & Mosaic’ “allegiance” when they expanded the Although linguists and atheists have Set for Nov. 22 designation to “I pledge allegiance to the challenged these words repeatedly in flag of the United States of America.” court, the voluntary nature of the pledge, Business Beat Art Innovators and Santa Barbara Perhaps so that immigrants coming to allowing for any part to be omitted if one by Ray Estrada Matchmaking are teaming to host these shores after World War II would chooses, has kept the pledge intact. “Mingle & Mosaic,” a party for singles 55 The mere plausibility of change to the Swing Dancers Promote be absolutely clear to which country they and older, from 6 to 8pm Nov. 22 at 5370 pledge was sufficient in 2005 to cause the now pledged allegiance. Hollister Ave., Suite 2, Goleta. Holiday Gift Boutiques By this time, the similarity of the arm more conservative members of the House Fifteen men and fifteen women will gesture, going from eyebrow to arm of Representatives to introduce HR 2389. Organizers of a series of upcoming participate in games such as “Pin the extension with the palm downward, to This little known bill would have stripped Santa Barbara holiday gift boutiques held Paintbrush on the Painting” and other Nazi Germany’s “heil Hitler” was seen the Supreme Court from ever being able a First Thursday event on Nov. 7 that interactive games to promote mingling. as distasteful, so the stance was changed to hear any challenge to the promotion or featured swing dancers and music at the Then they will get creative and paint to simply hold one’s right hand over the requirement of the Pledge of Allegiance. one of 30 squares on three large canvases corner of State and Anapamu streets. The bill failed when the Senate refused heart, or to hold the salute at the eyebrow The event promoted the sixth annual that will be publicly displayed. With to take it up. if in uniform. Holiday Gift Boutique at the Massage Thanksgiving just around the corner, the Though our Pledge of Allegiance has Gallery, 1506 Chapala St., which for three pieces will be auctioned on eBay and Interestingly, although Mr. Bellamy was a Baptist minister, there had been gone through some rather significant the first time is scheduled to take place the proceeds will benefit the Food Bank. no mention of God in his pledge. Even changes, it has withstood the “test of on a third Saturday beginning Nov. 23 Many 55 and older singles have asked when the Jehovah’s Witnesses brought time.” It is a living example of the power from 11am to 5pm, said organizer and Lisa Darsonval, founder of Santa Barbara a case to the Supreme Court in 1940, it of symbolism; a reminder that rituals company owner Michelle Silva. Matchmaking, for a more age specific was because they considered the pledge a should never become mindless utterances. to be Proof teaming up Featuring the works of South Coast event, and she is excitedAd celebration of idolatry, not because of an It is also a beautiful example of the artists and crafters, as well as live music, with Art Innovators. Client: SB Chicken Ranch Ad Executive: Warren Barrett (805) 648-2244 flexibility of our democracy, when some the gift boutique also will take place from absence of a deity. Participation in Mingle & Mosaic is Please check this proof over carefully and indicate all corrections clearly. You will have a “1st Proof”, “2nd Proof”, and “Final Proof”. If we receive no proof after the 1st or 2nd In 1943, the pledge was challenged 120 years later, we’re still arguing about 11am to 5pm Dec. 7 and Dec. 14, with $25, which will cover the cost of the Proofs, Ad Will Run As is. If this proof meets your approval on the 1st proof, check off “FInal ProoF (aPProved)” box, date and sign at the bottom. again in the highest court, this time stating the “redistribution” of economic resources free public admission on all three days. art supplies. RegisterISSuE: by going to www. 9/19/13 notice: pleAse FAx this pRooF to (805) 648-2245 AsAp in the style of Mr. Francis Bellamy. that such “compulsory unification of What started as a one-day event will occur santabarbara.artinnovators.com.

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In the Garden with

Mr. Greenjeans

by Randy Arnowitz “Mr. Greenjeans,” as he is known around Santa

Barbara, is a gardener, horticulturist and writer. He particularly enjoys working with roses, orchids and sharing the day with his golden retriever Peaches, who faithfully accompanies him in the field. Contact him at greenjeansmr@gmail.com

To extend your growing season, continue plugging in lettuce starts as you harvest.

Cool Season Veggies and Flowers

any of you have written to ask, “Hey, Mr. Greenjeans, what the heck do I plant for the winter?” Well, it wasn’t actually many of you who wrote but a few. Okay, not really a few, it was EIC Matt, and he didn’t really write. Well, again you got me. I think it was actually Matt’s wife who was asking and she didn’t write either. Regardless, I can’t help thinking that at least a few of you other folks want to know what types of vegetables and flowers can be planted in your gardens right now.

Vegetables

Although many vegetables could have been planted earlier for an extended crop season, it’s always a good idea to keep adding more seeds and starts to replace the ones you’ve harvested. For example, if you got your lettuce in the fall, you can still seed between the now empty spaces to keep your crop going. Beets, carrots, fava beans, globe onions, kale, kohlrabi, lettuce, mesclun, mustard

Buy your veggie starts at the farmer’s market for a greater selection and to support your local farmers.

Mixed media. Red leaf and green leaf lettuce, columbine and sweet peas make up this winter garden.

greens, parsley, peas, radishes, spinach and turnips can still be planted from seed. Broccoli, Brussels sprouts, cabbage, cauliflower, celery, lettuce, spinach, parsley and Swiss chard can be put in your garden now from starts, which are baby plants that are usually sold in six-packs. Artichokes, strawberries and rhubarb can be purchased bare root and potatoes can be planted out from seed. Scallions are started from onion sets while garlic is planted from individual cloves. All should be available at the nursery now.

Winter & Spring Color

Remember that the ideal time to plant for winter and spring color is in the fall. If you didn’t get to it, there’s still time, although instead of getting six months of color, you’ll get a few months less. Annuals, and perennials used as annuals, are calendula, cineraria, columbine, coral bells, cyclamen, delphiniums, dianthus, English daisy, candytuft, foxglove, flowering cabbage and flowering kale, hollyhocks, Iceland poppies, nemesia, pansies, paludosum daisies, phlox, polyanthus-malacoides-obconica primroses, schizanthus, snapdragons, stock, sweet alyssum, sweet William and violas.

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Misc. Tips

• Be sure to plant the right plants in the correct exposure. Usually the plant tags will say whether the plants you buy need sun, shade or part sun. If there’s no tag, ask the nursery person or look it up. It makes a big difference! • Keep newly planted veggies and color from drying out. Sometimes it’s not easy to keep your seeds or those little, peat-y, six-pack root balls moist. When you water, make sure you’re saturating the soil that the plants came in and not just the surrounding garden soil. Once the

plants are established and have rooted out into the garden bed, it should be easier to keep them happy. Lots of color plants like lobelia, pansies, violas, calendula and others actually do better if kept on the dry-ish side once established. • Feed your winter garden often. Use fish emulsion or other natural-type food. Read the labels and/or ask for help. • Deadhead spent flowers to keep your flowers blooming into the spring and early summer. • Chances are that if you put in the extra time and effort, your winter garden will last far into the time that you need to start planting the warm-season garden. But that’s a good problem, no? Here’s a thought. (And no, I’m not getting soft in the head. Just maybe the heart.) In the last few months the universe has been sending me extra reminders to enjoy the ride and not to take all this so seriously. And darn it – to appreciate the people in my life. Things change in a flash and loved ones come and sadly, they go. On my end, I’m going to try to replace my frown with a smile, stop making what my friends call “the Randy face” and to quit rolling my eyes so often and so loudly. I, for sure, am not the boss of you all, but maybe, sorta, let’s give the supermarket bagger-person a smile instead of a scowl the next time they put the bottle of bleach on top of the eggs, hug your dog instead of being short with him when he brings sand and wet dog smell in after the beach and give your pet bird (if you have one) one more peck. Oh, and call your mom. You really never know what tomorrow will bring, but there’s a 50/50 chance that it won’t be good.

Randy’s Quick Pick

n November 23 and 24 from 10 am to 4 pm, the Santa Barbara Botanic Garden is holding its 20th Annual Holiday Marketplace. More than 35 artisans will be selling their one-of-a-kind, handcrafted items. Also featured will be local food purveyors with edible gifts and lots more cool stuff for the foodies on your holiday list. The SBBG is located at 1212 Mission Canyon Road, SB 93105. For more info check out: www.sbbg.org.

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www.presidiosports.com Presidio Sports is a provider of local sports news and information for the Santa Barbara community. Founded in 2008, the small team at Presidio has covered hundreds of local sporting events and published thousands of articles connected to Santa Barbara’s athletic community. Please visit their website for more local sports news and information.

by John Dvorak

Australian Tim Cope shares his predictions for this week’s “Local Celebrities Football Picks” promotion.

im Cope is always ready for an adventure. In fact, the Australian explorer has made a career of seeking out some truly extraordinary experiences. And as a fan of cricket and Australianrules football, picking the winners of NFL games qualifies as venturing into the unknown. Cope, a National Geographic Adventurer of the Year honoree in 2007, is speaking at UCSB’s Campbell Hall on Monday, November 18. Cope is the star of On the Trail of Genghis Khan: An Epic Journey Through the Land of the

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Nomads, which headlined the 2012 Banff Mountain Film Festival World Tour. Just this week, Cope’s book of the same name was awarded the Grand Prize at the just-completed 2013 Banff Festival. The book details a three-year journey on horseback across thousands of miles of wilderness from Mongolia to Hungary. His event at Campbell Hall includes a high-quality multimedia presentation and book signing. Growing up in Australia, Cope wasn’t exposed to the NFL until he was a teenager when his dad was attending Mankato State University, now known as Minnesota State. “He brought home a whole heap of Minnesota Vikings garb,” Cope recalls. “I had no idea what the NFL was, but I sure liked the jacket and hat that kept me warm in our wet, cold winter in Victoria, Australia.” The memory didn’t keep Cope from wisely taking the 9-1 Seattle Seahawks to beat the 2-7 Vikings. The “Local Celebrities Football Picks” promotion with PresidioSports.com and Santa Barbara Brewing Company is raising money for local Junior Lifeguard scholarships. Every week, Presidio Sports is collecting predictions from a celebrity connected to Santa Barbara on the winners of NFL football games. Each correct pick will trigger a donation that will accumulate throughout the season. The promotion will provide at least two scholarships for the seven-week summer camp that promotes fitness and an active lifestyle. For over 40 years, the Santa Barbara Junior Lifeguard program has helped develop local youth with strenuous daily workouts, water safety, first aid, surf lifesaving, marine education and competition. So far, Olympic beach volleyball champion Todd Rogers was nearly perfect. Rogers nailed 12-of-13 winners to really set the bar high. Then professional surfer Lakey Peterson took her turn predicting the winners from the NFL’s Week 9 slate of games. Lakey herself went through the Junior Guards program as a Santa Barbara youngster. In Week 10, KEYT Sports Anchor Mike Klan came through with eight more correct picks. The picks will be posted online each week and will also appear here in the Sentinel.

TIM’S PICKS Indianapolis Colts (6-3) at Tennessee Titans (4-5) Washington Redskins (3-6) at Philadelphia Eagles (5-5) Green Bay Packers (5-4) at New York Giants (3-6) New York Jets (5-4) at Buffalo Bills (3-7) Oakland Raiders (3-6) at Houston Texans (2-7) Arizona Cardinals (5-4) at Jacksonville Jaguars (1-8) Tampa Bay (1-8) at Atlanta Falcons (2-7) Baltimore Ravens (4-5) at Chicago Bears (5-4) Detroit Lions (6-3) at Pittsburgh Steelers (3-6) Cleveland Browns (4-5) at Cincinnati Bengals (6-4) San Francisco 49ers (6-3) at New Orleans Saints (7-2) Minnesota Vikings (2-7) at Seattle Seahawks (9-1) San Diego Chargers (4-5) at Miami Dolphins (4-4) Kansas City Chiefs (9-0) at Denver Broncos (8-1) New England Patriots (7-2) at Carolina Panthers (6-3)

Sports Volunteer of the Month: Leo Schumaker by Randy Weiss

Tune in to Sports Volunteer of the Month Leo Schumaker’s radio show on all things running every Monday on KCSB 91.9FM.

e’s a kindred spirit who has found his true passion in running. After a 25-year run of his own as a U.S. Postal Service worker, Leo Schumaker now willingly donates a good portion of retirement time savoring, promoting and living all aspects of this sport, while inspiring others to enjoy running along the path to improved health. Four years ago, he cranked it up a notch or two in finding his “voice;” his Running and Racing Show has been since transmitting every Monday morning from Storke Tower on the KCSB 91.9FM signal. For his unbridled enthusiasm as a local ambassador in tirelessly promoting the art of running, Schumaker, 62, is being recognized by Presidio Sports as a local Sports Volunteer of the Month. Not bad for this self-proclaimed former “overweight coach potato” who had an epiphany, of sorts, when he witnessed the 1984 Olympic Torch pass right by him on State Street. It served as his call to action. He laced up some old running shoes the very next day, ran one block and was very sore. He kept it up and went a little further with each new day. Schumaker joined the SBAA and began helping local stars Ethel Byers and Kevin Young with youth races and was soon totally immersed into “a very nice running community.” Before long, he was in good enough shape to run the 1986 Resolution Day Run. Schumaker hasn’t looked back since. Thanks to Pacific Western Bank for

Race winners at Saturday’s Santa Barbara International Marathon were Peter Kemboi and Elisa Karhu in the full, and Aaron Sharp and Jill Himlan in the half. The event helped celebrate Veterans Day Weekend as each runner was handed a mini American flag for the final halfmile. Kemboi’s winning time was 2:32:08. Karhu’s mark of 2:42:42 lowered the event record in the women’s race for the second year in a row. Karhu bested the previous record by almost six minutes. The half marathon’s winning times were 1:07:47 from Sharp and 1:22:15 from Himlan. By the numbers, the 5th annual international marathon attracted 1,092 runners for the full-length course and 2,516 for the half. Each race finished at Santa Barbara City College after beginning in different locations in Goleta. The 26.2-mile course started at Dos Pueblos High School while the 13.1-mile version began at the Page Youth Center.

helping Presidio Sports recognize the important contributions of volunteers in our community.

Athletes of the Week: Chloe Allen and Quentin Tedesco by John Dvorak

aguna Blanca’s Quentin Tedesco and San Marcos’ Chloe Allen were announced as Santa Barbara Athletic Round Table Athletes of the Week on Monday. Tedesco and Allen were introduced at the weekly press luncheon at Harry’s Café. Laguna Blanca football player Quentin Tedesco.

Tedesco and the Laguna Blanca football team came from behind to win Saturday’s CIF opener 47-22. The Owls’ senior captain scored four touchdowns on offense and recorded 15 tackles and three interceptions on defense. Tedesco totaled seven catches, 103 yards receiving and two TD receptions while adding a pair of touchdown runs. Allen led San Marcos’ volleyball team to a victory over Santa Barbara High last Thursday that clinched the city championship for the Royals. In the last regular-season match before the CIF playoffs, Allen ripped 20 kills with a

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San Marcos volleyball star Chloe Allen.

hitting percentage of .340 as San Marcos completed a season sweep of its crosstown rival and clinched second place in the Channel League. Honorable mentions were: Goffin Boyoko, UCSB Soccer; Cole Smith, Dos Pueblos Cross Country; Jack Palmer, San Marcos Water Polo; Alan Williams, UCSB Basketball; Aidan Williams, Bishop Diego Football; Max Vasquez, Cate Football; Ian Roberts, SBCC Cross Country; Madison Hale, Santa Barbara High Tennis; Fanny Josansson, SBCC Golf; Hannah White, Laguna Blanca Volleyball; Kelsie Bryant, Carpinteria Tennis.

Athletic Round Table Press Luncheon by John Dvorak

f Monday’s Santa Barbara Athletic Round Table Press Luncheon is any indication, winter sports are upon us. The weekly gathering at Harry’s Plaza Café was notably absent of fall sports contenders, giving the high school soccer and college basketball coaches center stage in their first appearances of the year. The one playoff team in attendance was Laguna Blanca’s 8-man football team coming off a 47-22 victory on Saturday. Senior captain Quentin Tedesco was at the luncheon with teammates Christian Fowler and Parker Rusack – both sophomores – and head coach Shane Lopes. Laguna Blanca fell behind 22-0 in that game before staging a huge rally. Lopes explained how the Owls have had problems starting slow this season, but have also done a good job of turning it around and coming back to win. “We’re really proud of our players for responding, and that’s what it’s really about and how we respond to adversity,” Lopes said. Laguna Blanca travels to Cambria on Friday night to face second-seeded Coast Union in the quarterfinals. The Owls beat Coast Union during the regular season. Most of the day was dominated by soccer. Westmont Sports Information Director Ron Smith reported on another playoff team, the Warriors’ women’s soccer squad. Kristi Kiely’s team is ranked No. 3 in the country and expects to host a NAIA Tournament game at Thorrington Field on November 23. Smith shared some comments prepared by Kiely.

“I’m extremely proud of and excited about this group and their accomplishments so far this season,” Smith read. “We have set ourselves up to be in a really good spot heading into the national tournament.” Warriors’ goalkeeper Lindsey Smith was named co-GSAC Player of the Year for leading a defense that has only allowed six goals this season. The high school soccer teams are just getting started with their seasons. Both the boys and girls teams from San Marcos shared their hopes and expectations for the upcoming months. “We have a young, fast, talented squad and we’re looking to do great things this year led by two of our seniors who are here today,” said girls head coach Macie Berlin, who brought four-year varsity players Ashley Carney and Hannah Harrah. The boys team has a new coaching staff led by Rob Lauderdale. Joining Lauderdale as assistants are former UCSB players James Kiffe, Waid Ibrahim and Sam Hayden. Kiffe, a San Marcos alum, was at the luncheon with players Robbie Landeros and Nick Hale. “We are definitely looking to rebuild this year. To say that last year was a challenge is an understatement,” Lauderdale said. Leo Quintero is back for his second year as head coach of Carpinteria High’s boys soccer team. The Warriors have won at least a share of the Tri-Valley League championship in five of the past six seasons but graduated 17 seniors from last year’s team. With only three returners, Quintero said he’s looking forward to seeing what the new pieces can do. Erin Durflinger and Alexa Benitez represented the Warriors’ girls team, although their head coach Charles Bryant was not there. Bryant also coaches the Warriors’ No. 1-ranked girls tennis team that was playing in a CIF quarterfinal match. On a day on which our country honored its war veterans, a true luncheon vet took the podium and talked about his team’s first battles on that basketball court. “Been there for twenty-one years and I’m really excited about our team this year,” said Westmont men’s basketball coach John Moore. While Moore wasn’t happy with a season-opening loss in which the Warriors defense was non-existent, his team responded by beating the No. 4 team in NAIA Division 2 with a strong defensive effort. “They say defense wins ball games and that may not always be the truth, but when you give up 104 one week and 64 the next, there is reason to believe that maybe defense does mean something,” Moore said. The press luncheon, open to the public, returns next Monday to Harry’s Cafe starting at noon.

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...continued from COVER

“Sweetheart,” I pleaded openly in front of a bunch of suddenly quite interested eight-year-olds, “I-I-I have an office at the house now. I’m always around, I see you all the time, every day.” “Yeah,” still innocent, still sweet, still smiling, “but you have lots of meetings and calls and you write late and early and…” “Baby,” I interrupted, beleaguered, “remember when I used to commute over the Golden Gate Bridge? Remember when I used to travel for the law firm?” She looked at me, puzzled. She was just one year old when we lived in Northern California, and it’s been a few years now since I had a full-blown busy litigation practice. Of course she didn’t remember. Lily’s teacher adeptly saw the writing on the wall and quickly, mercifully, defused the brewing and rather public domestic dispute. “Class, say hello to Mr. Mazza, he’s going to read The House that Ate Mosquito Pie today. Pay attention to the personification we’ve discussed…” I tuned out. I couldn’t stop thinking about what my daughter – one of the true loves of my life – had said so clearly. I was crushed, man, seriously. I want to cry writing about it even now. I kept looking down at her as I read that damned story, and she kept smiling up at me, clearly proud of her old man – I was killing and had the third grade in stitches – and she hugged me when I

That’s the sexually deviant scoundrel Baron Scarpia that nearly forced me to have “the talk” with my kid. I wanted to kill him myself (photo credit: David Bazemore).

The lovely Marcy Stonikas portrayed Floria Tosca beautifully (photo credit: David Bazemore).

was done and I waited for her after school and I helped her with her backpack and we held hands and we laughed and joked and talked about school and friends and traveling and soccer. And I was still crushed, man, seriously. That’s a hard pill to swallow. She had no idea. Somehow, I think that made it even

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harder. I told my wife, Wendi, the story that night in bed. “Matt,” she consoled me, almost apologetically, “you’re always around, you do great. You know that.” “I know, I really do, it’s just that I don’t know if Lily knows it. I’ve got to do better… the paper is busy and I’m still practicing law and I have no time and I need to make it. Especially now that she’s eight. She’s not a little kid anymore.” “You’re right about that,” we’d talked about how much Lily has seemed to grow up in the third grade many times. “This year’s really making a difference.” Time passed and we laid next to each other in silence. “We need to do more daddy-daughter date nights again,” I announced. The once reasonably common occurrence had become practically nonexistent. “She needs to have some one-on-one time, needs to see how a man treats a lady. She needs me, you know, I can show her all of that. I’m her father for Christ’s sake.” Wendi agreed. “You know what?” I continued, growing excited. “Why don’t I take her to the Opera this weekend, instead of you? We’ll go for a quick bite before the matinee at the Granada and then have dinner afterward. It’ll be perfect.”

Wendi agreed again. Arrangements were made quickly online. It was done. And that’s the story of how I came to take my Lily to Giacomo Puccini’s Tosca, a lovely production put on by Opera Santa Barbara this past week that involves a talented painter with a wandering eye, a beautiful but jealous woman, an escaped convict, a disgusting baron driven by greed and lust, a murder, a suicide – two suicides, actually – and power and politics and lasciviousness and sex. Perfect for an innocent eight-year-old girl and her unsuspecting father.

It’s An Italian Opera, Dummy I got my first indication that Tosca might be a bit, ah, mature for Lily’s youth and innocence over a glass of wine at Lucky’s with Conductor/Maestro Christopher Larkin. Chris is the real deal, having guest conducted for and otherwise worked at many of the major opera companies in the country; he is also the father of my cousin’s best friend and thus a personal friend of my charming Uncle Mark Uriu. Mark lives in New Jersey with his wife Bev – my mother’s sister – but spends some time in Santa Barbara and environs when he is commissioned by one fancy designer or another to do some of his rather amazing

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faux painting work in the area. Markel – another talented artist in a whole family of them (Bev is amazing too, and teaches and makes art back east) – is here working on one of Mark’s jobs and invited me to a drink with her and Chris. So I went. (With my kid’s words from the previous afternoon ringing loudly in my ears.) And in between a few hilarious stories involving a couple canoes, a small tent, the Delaware River and a bottle of Scotch, I learned a bit about opera, generally, and Tosca, specifically. “So Chris, I’m thinking of bringing my daughter to the matinee on Sunday. What do you think?” “How old is she?” “Eight.” He laughed. “Well, Tosca’s full of murder, suicide, lust, sex… it’s got a bit of everything. It’s really pretty adult themed. It’s an… opera.” He said it as if I didn’t know, and I didn’t. Maybe I’d made a mistake. But there was no way I could reconsider; I’d already talked this whole experience up so much with Lily that backing out now would be unthinkable. Especially given the whole Surprise Reader surprise. Markel then proceeded to tell a story about how her mom had traumatized her early in life by showing her Edward Scissorhands, which, according to Bev, was a touching story about a young

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misunderstood artist. Her kids saw it as a grotesque and terrifying tale about a deformed man who murdered people with his knife-fingers. Thanks Markel. I feel so much better now.

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117 MALIBU COLONY ROAD, MALIBU

The Operatic Art of Quasi-Deception “So, sweat pea, what do you think Tosca will be about?” I probed, thinking it better to try and prepare her a bit over a late brunch at Scarlett Begonia. (Which, by the way, was divine. Lemon-ricotta pancakes with a perfect cappuccino after a homemade granola and yogurt amusebouche did the trick. The fresh eggs and bacon helped too. If you haven’t been lately, get in there… Proprietor Crista Fooks and Chef Joel Huff are doing some amazing creative stuff. We’ll do a food column soon, for sure. Where was I?) “I know it’s a love story,” she replied with an embarrassed grin. “And there will be lots of loud singing and music. And it will all be in Italian.” Ah, what the hell. Good enough. She was so excited that I just agreed. “Yep, you’ve got it. Let’s get over to the theatre and get our seats so we can make sure you can see all right. And I bet there’s a cookie we can find.” (I’m a sucker and ...continued p.20

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• WHERE OLD WORLD MEETS NEW •

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•HOLIDAYS ARE HERE• COME HAVE SOME FUN, BUY SOME GIFTS. ...AND DRINK SOME TOO... Tosca with her beloved Cavaradossi just before mass carnage at the end of Act III. (They thought they had it. They were wrong.) (Photo credit: David Bazemore.)

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just want to make her happy. Is that so bad?) We held hands from the restaurant, down the breezeway and across State, all the way to the front door of the Granada. Then we grabbed our tickets from Will Call and got ourselves situated. The curtain went up a moment later. Act I really sets the production up: An escaped prisoner, Cesare Angelotti, connects with an old friend, Mario Cavaradossi, who is painting the portrait of a beautiful woman in a church. They plan to keep Angelotti hidden from the authorities so he can stay out of the slammer. So far, so good. The real surprise was that Lily was totally engaged, watching every movement on stage carefully, glancing down into the pit, where Chris Larkin was passionately conducting and the orchestra were thundering away. I quietly explained what was happening as I read the surtitles to be sure that I myself understand. (Sorry, people sitting around us, I hope I wasn’t

too loud.) Then suddenly the overly-jealous and titular Floria Tosca – Cavaradossi’s lover – comes in. (Tosca was played by a brilliant Marcy Stonikas, whose star is clearly rising. What a voice, she really kept the whole place captivated. You could almost feel it.) Let’s just say that Tosca is very concerned with Cavaradossi’s alleged wandering eye and doesn’t like very much the fact that he’s painting the portrait of a beautiful woman. And she’s not afraid to sing about it. I explained this all to Lily as best I could. “She loves the painter, sweetheart, and doesn’t want him to, ah, love anybody else.” More singing, some heavy petting and kissing. A giggle. “So they’re going to meet later at a hidden country cottage to, well, talk about love more.” You get the idea. I soon realized that not only did Lily understand the basic idea – not the more adult stuff but the basic themes of jealousy and insecurity – but really got a kick out of the whole thing. So I started to relax, thinking that I could explain most of this stuff away in terms that were really age-appropriate. Then came Act II. Act II is essentially thirty minutes of lust and sexual bribery surrounding Tosca’s Cavaradossi, who’d been captured, remorselessly tortured and sentenced to death for assisting Angelotti (who’d killed himself before the police could recapture him). She almost gives in to the deviant desires of the evil Baron Scarpia before she kills him with a knife. Ok, not quite as easy as Act I. “Well, the bad guy in black wants to, ah, love Tosca, and if she loves him, well, enough, then he will let the painter go free so he and Tosca can escape and be together forever.” “But daddy,” she whispered, never taking her eyes off the stage, “how can Tosca love the bad man but then love the painter? You always say that you and Mommy will love each other forever.” “Right.” Damned opera. “The bad guy just wants love for a little while. Hey! Look at Chris, he’s really got the orchestra going now!”

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Lily really loved meeting Tosca just after she hurled herself off of a bridge following her lover’s death by firing squad. Perfect for an eight-year-old.

Distraction. Deception. Invaluable parental tools that worked when she was three and still work today if done right. I fumbled my way through it, and Lily was delighted. By the time we were waiting in line for water (her) and coffee (me) during the second intermission, she was asking for

everything in opera-speak and laughing hysterically. “Dad, can I have a TWIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIX? May I please have a SODAAAAAAAA?” We were having fun. Real fun. I was on a terrific date with my daughter, and we were having a blast. I won’t lay out all the details of Act III here, but know this: There are some plot twists and turns and everybody dies. One by firing squad, another by suicide. I had the hang of it though, and Lily understood enough to make the whole thing really cool and engaging for her. “So, did everybody die in the end, Daddy?” “Yep, baby,” I told her. “All of the main characters anyway.” “Is that how all operas end?” I considered. “Actually, I think so honey.” That struck her funny. (Wouldn’t it be cool to be eight again?) We’d been invited to a private reception celebrating Opera Santa Barbara’s twentieth anniversary, and we strolled in just in time for a couple cookies and some cake. Then the musicians and singers started coming in, which was a real treat. “Hey, there’s the dead Baron Tosca stabbed!” “And there’s Tosca! Didn’t she jump off

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...continued from p.21

The incomparable Granada; it really is a great place for a show (photo credit: Corey Sanders).

a bridge?!” We went on like that for some time, until we saw an opening and ran over to meet Marcy Stonikas. Another highlight in a night filled with all sorts of fun. We left after the room – opera singers included – belted out a spirited rendition of “Happy Birthday” that had Lily plugging her ears and laughing uncontrollably. Then we went to dinner at The Hungry Cat with Mark, Markel and Chris the Maestro – another delicious meal (peel and eat shrimp, a mix of oysters, lamb and clams, Santa Barbara Channel white bass, delicate scallops and more), another great spot worth hitting soon – and laughed about old stories and the opera and eightyear-olds at a private table toward the back of the restaurant. Lily was there in the middle of it, talking and laughing right along with the rest of the table. I was amazed by her that night, amazed by how much she’s grown up and by her intelligence and charm and brilliant young sense of humor. We left late, and talked of love and death and passion and art until she fell asleep in the car on the drive home. It was an amazing night, made even more so by the romantic Granada Theatre and, of

course, a wonderful opera. I wouldn’t have dreamed of doing that with my kid a couple weeks prior. We pulled into the driveway and I picked her up and carried her inside. She half-woke as I laid her down in bed. “Daddy, can we go to the opera again?” she whispered in my ear. “Of course baby,” I whispered back. “Anytime.” I’m just praying for a comedy.

STUFF I LIKE I absolutely loved Opera Santa Barbara’s production of Tosca. I’ve done lots of live theatre and all sorts of other stuff but this was my very first opera. It was amazing and I can’t wait to take Wendi to Falstaff – a highly regarded comedy (maybe we should take the kids) – in March 2014. In the meantime, though, I am planning on attending the Demystifying Opera seminar at MichaelKate Interiors and Art Gallery in the Funk Zone on November 15, from 7 – 9 pm. There will be a little reception followed by a concert with LA Opera Baritone Craig Colclough and a talk about all things opera for everybody from the newbies (Lily and I) to the seasoned

vet (Chris, for example). Should be cool, I’m a new opera fan and will do my very best to attend. (The only thing stopping me would be a date with my kid.) And on December 3, OSB is joining forces with the Santa Barbara Trust for Historic Preservation for a candlelight holiday concert with soprano Andrea Carroll. She will perform songs by Debussy, Mahler, Rachmaninoff and others, plus a collection of holiday tunes, in the intimate Presidio Chapel. Check out www.operasb.org for details on all of the foregoing. And if you haven’t opera’ed before, get your tickets early. It’s a wonderful experience and we are lucky to have such a great local resource to bring in quality talent and productions. Right on Opera SB, we had a blast. Speaking of terrific local resources, the Santa Barbara Chamber Orchestra’s Hahn Hall Series got underway back in late October with Conductor Heiichiro Ohyama. (I heard it was terrific.) The series continues on December 10 with three string movements that span a couple hundred years. Very cool. But perhaps most pertinent for novice appreciators of music like myself is SBCO’s MEE (Musically Engaging Experiences) Series. Led by the hugely spirited and renowned classical music guru Rob Kapilow – seriously, Rob is engaging and funny and famous for his ability to help all ages and backgrounds understand and better appreciate classical music. On Saturday, November 16, at 7:30 pm, he’s doing another in his What Makes It Great series, this one on Mozart’s Jupiter Symphony; then, on Sunday, November 17, at 4:30 pm, he’s doing something called Green Eggs and Hamadeus, which combines the Dr. Seuss classic with some Mozart. Wendi and I are taking the kiddies to this one, and we expect that it will be great. Check out www.sbco.org and follow the prompts to the MEE Series for details and to purchase tickets. Worth

it, and a fun family experience on Sunday for sure. See you there. I also like men’s health and wellness, and thus hate prostate and testicular cancer. I won’t say much here in that regard, but this month is known to many as Movember, which is effectively a non-profit effort focused on raising money for men’s health via moustache growth in November. Get it? Locals Tom Adams and Ali Azarvan have taken this to the next level with their Hot TomAli’s music video in support of the cause, and they’re trying to raise $100,000. That’s a big goal, and I dig it. I also dig their music video – it includes everybody’s favorite newsman, Primetime John Palminteri, at one point – which can be found on YouTube (search Hot TomAli Movember). Let’s just say it’s More Than Words. Go check it out and give a few bucks. It’s a good cause and Tom and Ali have done a good thing. Finally, I like Gwendolyn Strong and the Gwendolyn Strong Foundation, which supports research for a genetic condition called spinal muscular atrophy (SMA). Gwendolyn’s story – and that of her family – is truly inspiring; I’ve written about them here before and hope everybody will check out www.thegsf.org to learn more and be a part of something that started local and has grown because of its powerful message. But that’s not why I’m writing. I’m writing because Gwendolyn and her father Bill just finished the Santa Barbara International Half Marathon this past weekend with 80 runners supporting them the whole way. And they raised $90,000 for GSF so it can continue its search for a cure. Huge congratulations, Strong family and the GSF. Never give up. Come to think of it, that’s good advice for all y’all out there this week. Peace. Love. And never give up. See you next week.

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INtheZONE with JEREMY HARBIN photos by LILY BUCKLEY

Out of the (Comfort) Zone, Part I

Chris was originally interested in a space across the parking lot, but when property managers showed him 224 Helena Avenue, he saw through the mess left behind by a previous tenant and knew it would be a great fit.

This is the Prowler, with almost no weight on it. Hey, you’ve got to start somewhere.

ehind Seven Bar and Kitchen in the Funk Zone, I’m laying down, knees in the air and knuckles clenched behind my head, afraid that if I stand up, I might fall back to the ground. I just had a workout that was far too light to have ended in this position. And I’m realizing I’m even more out of shape than

I thought I was. Here at Bayside Barbell, the gym tucked into a space on Helena Street that used to belong to an auto mechanic but is now where proprietor and trainer Chris Bartl does a different kind of maintenance and repair, this isn’t all that rare of a sight. Chris is standing over me, and he doesn’t

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Chris Bartl’s Bayside Barbell in the Funk Zone held its grand opening seminar a month ago.

seem too concerned, which is reassuring. “I’m okay,” I offered, not fooling him. “Just a little out of breath.” How did I end up like this? For the answer, we have to start a bit further back than the beginning of this session.

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To give you an idea of my physical prowess, a boy with one leg once made my high school’s junior varsity basketball team over me. That’s not a cheap joke – not my style – but just the simple truth. When I told a friend’s mother what happened shortly after the tryout results were posted, she looked at me like I had just pushed the boy down. I didn’t. I only noted that a one-legged kid was a better basketball player than me. He knew he only had one leg. In fact, he had a good sense of humor about it; he used to kick his prosthetic off around people who weren’t yet aware of it. I don’t know if

you’ve ever had a one-legged friend before, but that’s a joke that never gets old. In the small, consuming world of high school, sometimes the popular girl with the heart of gold asks the outcast to prom. And sometimes the coach puts in a sick kid to score a touchdown once the team’s got the ball on the one yard line. But I don’t believe there was any charity involved in my funny friend with one leg edging me out for a spot on the JV squad. I have no doubt that he ran faster, jumped higher and knew how to execute a better layup than I did. In retrospect, it was a major turning point. I’ve been physically inactive ever since. The ordeal marked my final turn from sports and fitness and games to literature, movies and music. (Sometimes you decide to take your life in a certain direction, and sometimes the universe – or a basketball coach that calls ‘em like he sees ‘em – packs your bags and buys you a ticket without asking you first.) So fast-forward from my high school sports humiliation, through my sedentary twenties, to today. I’m out of shape. While books can help emotionally and mentally with our gravest fears, I’ve recently become more concerned that I might just die soon from neglecting the physical. I realize, now that I get winded walking from the couch to the bathroom (it’s a small apartment), that the human body operates under a “use it or lose it” policy. If I want to keep breathing on this earth, I probably need to start using this flesh vessel of mine for more than the minimum requirement. But how should I go about that? I called a couple of Funk Zone establishments to see if they might be able to help me get active. First on the list was Bayside. Chris was happy to oblige. During our initial phone call, I asked Chris if he had a lot of beginners like me, and told him that I was under the impression that only very serious bodybuilder types use his gym. That’s not the case at all, he told me. People from all points on the fitness spectrum, and

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I could hold this position for days, no problem.

with all sorts of different fitness goals like weight loss and “body composition change,” work with Chris. And it’s not just dudes sweating it out at Bayside; the client roster is made up of a few more women than men. They’ve got everyone “from seventeen to seventy,” Chris said. “That’s perfect,” I told him, “because I’ve got the face of a seventeen-year-old and body of a seventyyear-old.” With a polite laugh from Chris, we hung up the phone, and I thought about how he would soon find out I wasn’t really joking.

Lacing Up The first thing Chris has new clients do is fill out some paperwork. It’s basic information; he just needs to know what he’s working with. It also helps him to customize the workout to the individual. While I checked off boxes, sitting across from Chris in his office, he told me how he got here, and his story starts with a moment even more specific than my failure to become a basketball star. Six and a half years ago, Chris was at his parents’ house back in Washington, where he’s from, getting ready to meet some friends for dinner. Sitting on the edge of a bed, he leaned over to tie his shoes, but couldn’t, because, as he puts it, his belly was in the way. So he took a deep breath and sucked in. He managed to get his shoes tied, but was lightheaded and couldn’t stand. He walked to the

bathroom and stared into the mirror. “You’re a fat, pathetic human being,” he told himself. And he decided to change his life. A former two-sport college athlete and weightlifter since high school, Chris took the realization of his diminished physical state hard, but immediately took steps to get into shape. He retained the services of a personal trainer and a nutritionistpsychologist, and went on to lose ninety pounds in just three months, and ten more in the next three months while he trained for a triathlon. Since then, he’s worked at various gyms across Santa Barbara County, dreaming the whole time of starting his own. “I wanted to be able to regulate who came in and what they were doing,” Chris said from his office chair. “You go to the big gyms and you see a lot of people doing a lot of stupid things, and they just don’t have the education and the training.” So with more than just control over the music (he has Metal Mondays, along with mellower themes for other groups), he has the freedom now to write his own training programs and to give people a safe place to get fit the right way.

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of place at Guantanamo. It’s a metal contraption that slides across the pavement when pushed, and, I assume, is possessed with some supernatural power to punish any user who approaches it with unearned confidence. While I was Prowling, I didn’t think I was doing anything particularly difficult. It was even a little fun. But when I finished one sprint across the parking lot – only one mind you, which might say more about me than the Prowler – I was exhausted. So now I’m on the floor. I’m trying to catch my breath, get up and walk it off. Chris explains that this is a crossroad people sometimes come to here. Would I let it get the best of me, or would I use it as motivation to get my body to a place

where a single sprint with the Prowler wouldn’t have this result? I have to admit that in this moment, I wish I was prowling around Fig Mountain instead of Bayside’s parking lot. But then I get up. And I feel great for the rest of the day.

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Chris Bartl offers two twelveweek training options for all skill and experience levels: Semi-private sessions (2 to 3 people), during which Chris writes the client a custom training program, and small group training (6 to 8 people). Find Bayside Barbell at 224 Helena Avenue, behind Seven Bar and Kitchen. For more information, call Chris at 805.637.8370.

Working Out Chris put me through what felt like a fairly easy battery of tests. He evaluated my fitness level, and told me about the kind of program he would write for me. Because I sit at a desk most of the day leaning over a keyboard, he’d work to counteract the effect that has on my body. I did push-ups, pull-ups, squats and some other exercises, while Chris gave me a grade of one, two or three for each, which he wrote down behind his clipboard. At one point, he had me simply stepping over metal bars, alternating which leg I led with, and I saw him jot down a “1.” I honestly don’t know if that’s the best or worst I could get, but I didn’t want to find out the answer either. I was feeling cocky. I surprised myself with how many push-ups I could do, and I caught on to foreign movements of new (to me) exercises pretty well (I thought). Then everything changed. The Prowler is a beast of a piece of exercise equipment that wouldn’t be out

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by Megan Waldrep With over ten years in the industry designing for her own label, she began writing because “it just felt good.” In addition to writing, Megan is currently the head designer and creative director for Mew Kids, a children’s clothing line, as well as a co-author of the much loved children’s book, Spice & Little Sugar. You can say she wears many hats. Which is fitting. For a fashion writer and all. Discover her world at www.mewkids.com.

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o here’s the thing: I’m reasonably new to town. I moved here from Charleston, South Carolina, just three short months ago. I happened upon this sweet coastal wonderland one Sunday last fall as I drove up from LA, and it was love at first sight. I decided right then and there that if I was going to plant roots in California, I was going to plant them right here. So I did. And I couldn’t be happier. Besides the overwhelmingly beautiful nature we live among, the sense of “living life the right way” is ever-present. There’s pride and gratitude that comes with living in a place like this. (Something I’m privileged to know from my time in Charleston, another special place on this beautiful planet.) Must be in the water. Another thing that seems to be in the water around here is a casual-yet-sophisticated sense of style. It’s unique, very Santa Barbara, and it’s another thing that drew me to call this place my home. That Santa Barbara-style has also already forced me to stop people on the streets and tell them, “I love what you’re wearing.” Intrusive? Yes. Weird? Maybe. But my experience is that a fun little spontaneous conversation often ensues. I like fun little spontaneous conversations. So I’ve decided to feature them here.

Name: Julie Chaminand Where: Montecito Country Mart Occupation: Consultant for Safari Jewelry (www.safarijewelry.com) What are you doing?: Going to lunch with a friend. What’s your favorite part about living in Santa Barbara?: The beauty of the town and its surrounding landscape. Plus the amazing feel of it! What are you wearing?: Dress from a boutique in Coronado, necklace from Palm Beach, boots from Spain. (Mellow vibe courtesy of Santa Barbara.)

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Name: Valerie Velazquez Where: Outside the Granada Theatre Occupation: Founder of Meet Your Makers (www.meetyourmakers.org) Where are you going? To meetings for our upcoming Holiday Shop n’ Roll event. What is your favorite part about living in Santa Barbara?: Getting to see the ocean and mountains every day. But also very important: Being in a community where I am able to do what I love. What are you wearing?: A variety of handmade items from all over the world. It’s important for me to know where my clothes come from and how they are made so that I can feel good wearing them. (Hat by Lola Hats, earrings by Ola Culture, shoes by Labella Spain, necklace by Alice Hutchins Limited Edition Magnetic Sculpture Necklace, Purse by Ojai artist Jimmi wZ, dress by The Addison Story, sunglasses from The Closet SB.)

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by Rachelle Oldmixon

Nerd-o-Science 2013

his week, I attended the Society for Neuroscience’s annual conference in San Diego, aptly named Neuroscience 2013. You would expect the country’s biggest meeting of neuroscientists to be a nerd mecca. And it is. But these nerds aren’t as socially awkward as popular stereotypes might have you believe. The clubs near the conference center were filled to capacity every night with undergraduates, graduate students and world-renowned scientists drinking and dancing the night away. Then, somehow, the conference center was still packed at 8 am the next morning. These nerds know how to party. But I digress. I’m here to talk about the science, not the debauchery (trust me, there was a lot of it). The main room of the conference center was nearly half a mile long and hosted over 15,000 scientific poster presentations twice a day for five days. That’s a lot of science. With nearly 25,000 people bumping into each other, trying to get a better view of the posters, I got overwhelmed quickly. How was I supposed to find the most interesting posters? I could use my friend’s strategy and go look at the posters being presented by people with glasses. Or I could only go to posters presented by universities that I knew. What a pickle. The first day, I just wandered, lost in the wonderfully expansive sea of the topic I love most: Neuroscience. Thankfully, a face I recognized finally saved me. It’s hard to miss Andrew Thompson. He talks rather animatedly about his research. Amid all the reserved professionalism so

A self-professed science nerd, Rachelle has her B.A. in neuroscience from Skidmore College in upstate New York, and is working towards her Master’s in psychology at UCSB. In her free time, she blogs at www.synapticspeculations.com. She never could quite understand why she had to choose just one area of science; they are all fascinating. Especially when paired with some classic rock.

so Andrew set out to answer the question. What he found surprised him and may have applications to some of the biggest emotional problems facing, for example, our troops.

Helping the Troops… Maybe

Nerd alert! (Kidding. Andrew Thompson is trying to make the dystopian utopian. Or something like that.)

many scientists adopt, it’s thrilling to see someone who is so openly excited. Even as an undergraduate student at UCSB, Andrew was passionate about research, working his way into Dr. Tod Kippin’s lab. After Andrew graduated from UCSB, Dr. Kippin just couldn’t let him go and hired him as a lab tech. Unfortunately for the Kippin Lab, Andrew applied and was accepted to UCLA’s graduate program in the Psychiatry Department. There, he began working with Dr. Anne Andrews investigating dysphoria, all those negative emotions. Specifically, Andrew was looking into the kappa opiod receptor (KOR). KORs respond to endogenous opiods (opiate-like molecules that our brains produce naturally), with the primary function of relieving pain. Unfortunately, they concomitantly cause a drop in emotional state. Currently, no one really understands why KOR activation results in dysphoria,

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The most popular hypothesis as to why KOR activation results in depressed mood is that the molecules that interact with KOR to start pain relief also cause a decrease in serotonin within the brain. The decrease, according to the hypothesis, would be a result of increased levels of serotonin transporters (SERT) within the brain, thereby absorbing serotonin back into the neurons faster than it could interact with the serotonin receptors. As serotonin is strongly linked to mood and emotion, the hypothesis seemed plausible. And so Andrew went about testing the hypothesis by taking two kinds of mice: regular “wild-type” mice and “SERT knockout mice,” which are mice that have drastically reduced levels of serotonin transporters. Andrew then exposed the mice to a synthetic opiod that behaves in a manner identical to the endogenous opiod with which KORs naturally interact. Surprisingly, the mice reacted to the injection in identical ways. Both types of mice had the same levels of extracellular serotonin (only serotonin outside the neuron is bioavailable) during exposure to the synthetic opiods. Sounds like a lot of jargon, I know. I get

a bit carried away when I’m surrounded by my people. The bottom line is that increased levels of SERT is not the reason that our mood plummets to the bowls of grumpiness when our body begins natural pain relief. There. That was easier. Instead, Andrew’s second experiment found that it was dopamine that was likely driving the effect. Dopamine levels available outside the cells dropped like a stone only six minutes after the animals were exposed to the synthetic opiod. When the dopamine dropped, dysphoria was observed. It also quickly became clear that mice can get just as grumpy as we can. Alright, so if KOR is exposed to an endogenous opiod, then dopamine levels drop, putting us in a bad mood. Now, can we prevent that? Andrew administered a KOR antagonist, a molecule that binds to KOR and keeps opiods from activating it. The result: No change in baseline levels of serotonin and dopamine. But, when an opiod was added, dopamine levels did not plummet. And, just one dose of the KOR antagonist resulted in a month of lasting effects. Andrew isn’t sure why the dopamine levels dropped, but he’s still excited. And he’s working to figure it out. So how does this potentially help the troops? If one injection of this KOR antagonist could last for a month, perhaps some of the emotional stressors of war could be treated preemptively. After all, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is partially the result of an extremely negative emotional reaction to an event. If you dampen the emotional reaction, could you reduce the instance of PTSD? Is it even ethical to consider such an option? Andrew has a lot more questions now than when he started. I love science.

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with Mark Léisuré

Mark spends much of his time wandering Santa Barbara and environs, enjoying the simple things that come his way. A show here, a benefit there, he is generally out and about and typically has a good time. He says that he writes “when he feels the urge” and doesn’t want his identity known for fear of an experience that is “less than authentic.” So he remains at large, roaming the town, having fun. Be warned.

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Down From the Mountain

he touring edition of the Banff Mountain Film Festival has grown to be extremely popular over the years, especially here in outdoorsy Santa Barbara, where the series recently sold out two nights of screenings at the 2,200-capacity Arlington Theatre. The 38th edition packed full of some of the world’s best films and jaw-dropping videos on extreme sports, mountain culture and the environment doesn’t arrive until February 25 and 26, but UCSB Arts & Lectures is putting tickets on sale this Monday, so you might want to snap up a pair soon lest you be left out in the, ahem, cold (although it’s probably warmer in Santa Barbara in late February than it is in most of the exotic climes you’ll see in the films). In the meantime, the other traveling film fest focusing on outdoor subjects, Telluride Mountainfilm, pays a visit to Santa Barbara this week and here the focus stays even more on the actual mountains than Banff does. The program includes short films, animation and digital media with nearly all of the films coming in at under 10 minutes with just a few in the 20-minute range. Subjects for the current screenings include a Barcelona bike jumper, climbing trip in Kyrgyzstan, archers in Mongolia, and wingsuit world champion Espen Fadnes. Also sponsored by UCSB Arts & Lectures, Telluride Mountainfilm screens Wednesday at UCSB Campbell Hall.

Folkie Flavors Lovers of Americana, roots music and other troubadours of folk are not underserved in Santa Barbara, where SOhO and other clubs and coffeehouse series bring a lot of the well-known

names to town. But this week brings a rare opportunity to hear a regional artist who doesn’t get out to these parts all that often. Charlie Parr, who plays Friday (November 15) at Trinity Episcopal Church, grew up in a small town in Minnesota in a house that didn’t even have a TV, but was overrun with records by Lightnin’ Hopkins, Woody Guthrie, Leadbelly and the like. Those influences show in his music, original folk blues and traditional spirituals that Parr delivers in a scratchy but powerful voice. He’s a selftaught musician who plays an 1890 banjo and two National guitars (a 12-string and a Resonator), and has put out 11 records in the last 13 years, most of them recorded on vintage equipment, which gives his work the historic feel of field recordings. They don’t come much more authentic than Parr, whose show is a benefit for Worth Street Reach, an organization developing innovative approaches to helping the homeless get back to work and off the streets.

Play-ing Around It’s the final weekend for the logjam in local theater before things settle down for the holidays. Take your pick between UCSB Theater Dept.’s Top Girls by Caryl Churchill, which ends Saturday; or Out of the Box’s Carrie, the Musical; or the Plaza Playhouse’s PTSD comedy Pvt. Wars; or Rubicon Theatre Company’s two-character drama on existential questions and race The Sunset Limited; or Ratatat’s local-veterans-meetShakespeare’s Henry V mash-up called Happy Few, by Santa Barbara resident Casey Caldwell (various venues), all of which run through Sunday.

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...continued from p.7 And don’t the non-profits and philanthropists of the world actually do much good, even despite the “administrative BS?” Shouldn’t the smartest and most socially driven minds among us be attracted to the business of helping people by, for example, compensation equal to that available in the for-profit sector? Wouldn’t these types of innovative thinkers make the most impact on the social issues that everyone cares so much about (e.g., poverty, hunger, addiction, disease)? Is that nuts? What if we just did away with the whole non-profit paradigm and left it to government and private individuals donating directly? Good? Why? Because government is such a model of efficiency and people are so inherently kind and generous that everything would be solved? Ok, that’s enough with the questions. You get the idea. – MSM)

Exploit Me, Please Dear Mr. Mazza, you recently printed a letter by J. “Don” Carroll (On Curing Homelessness with An iPhone App, Vol. 2, Issue 43) that proposes the use of a hypothetical iPhone application to deliver donor funds directly to homeless people. (Thersites and Diogenes the Cynic to J. Carroll: Hey, you stole our gig!) I found his letter entertaining and his idea innovative. Is Mr. Carroll’s letter negative? Absolutely. Is his proposal dystopian? Absolutely: A foster bum/homeless pet is a human pet, and that seems like science

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fiction of the darkest kind. However, there is precedent for the foster bum idea: Foster Migrants. (Are you still there, Mr. Mazza?) When I was in university, migrant men lined up every morning outside my local car wash hoping to obtain a day’s labor washing white people’s yup-mobiles. They’re still lining up there and I’m now forty-nine years old. Have you ever seen a white man trim a rhododendron in Santa Barbara? I haven’t. How much do you suppose migrant gardeners are paid? Human pets. In my opinion, Mr. Carroll succeeds most convincingly by – in theory – eliminating the current middleman and the middleman’s unwholesome largesse. I do believe that a considerable number of advocacy professionals (not professional advocates: those are lawyers) are mercenaries who use trees, offenders, poor people, carbon, turtles, gimps, ghouls, and grandmas as the raw material with which they create political careers for themselves. In the meantime, they get paid. What is a politician? At worst, he is a sanctified deadbeat. Wanna be a politician? Serve on a board of directors somewhere first. Unqualified? Serve on the board of directors of a helping organization. While there, call yourself a steering committee and write a grant application for yourself in support of a bogus initiative. If you look hard enough, the money is always there. Imagine a giant spaceship orbiting our planet. It belongs to a race of extraterrestrials whose motives are unclear. They call themselves the Foundation for Earth. They set up tens of thousands of stooge foundations on the Earth’s surface and they beam down money whenever a would-be sanctified deadbeat needs it. Sorry, Mr. Mazza, but that’s what it felt like to me when I was a charity guy/social justice guy/tree-hugger guy.

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Ironically, if Mr. Carroll puts on his happy face, he might find an organization to partner with – such as I have described above – who will sponsor his grant application for spaceship funding to pay a guy to write his app. Amusing, no? Good luck to you, Mr. Carroll, wherever you are. (And thank you, Mr. Mazza.) Kolr Vestarson Santa Barbara (Editor’s Note: Kolr the Grocery Sherpa! There are all sorts of things I could write about your Foster Migrants/Human Pet comments – the men you see lined up each morning are able to earn more money for their families and raise their quality of life by doing exactly that from which you apparently recoil, they fill a need that wouldn’t otherwise be filled, etc. – but none of it sounds very convincing in the face of your rhetoric. Perhaps, at its core, our collective behavior is indefensible. And the irony, maybe, is that many of the wealthiest do-gooders among us take advantage of that very situation the most. As for the dreaded politicians, well, they aren’t all “sanctified deadbeats,” are they? Some are really quite educated and qualified, and perhaps if we raised their compensation, more qualified and educated folks would be attracted to the frankly thankless job. (Oh don’t worry taxation/budget hawks, I’m not advocating for raising taxes and lawmakers’ salaries. That would be political suicide. Wait, I’m not a politician, am I? Publisher Tim? Forget it, I digress.) Maybe the answer is simpler. Maybe we are all just motivated by personal gain in one form or another – power, money, the respect of our peers, etc. – and so we are doomed no matter what. In fact, after these last couple letters, that’s just how I feel. We are all selfish a-holes who just want to get ours, however we define that, and we’ll do whatever it takes to get it. I’m a (terrible) pepper. You’re a (terrible) pepper. Wouldn’t you like to be a (terrible) pepper too? – MSM)

Castillo Street Minefield Hello Matt, we have a “Grand Canyon of pot holes” and flooding from our city’s water table that, even before winter has begun, already poses tire and alignment damage to thousands of vehicle owners using the underpass on Castillo Street to access SBCC, the beach and our many hotels and businesses south of the 101 freeway in what amounts to “the beach district,” if you will. Street repair at this underpass intersection is under the control of Caltrans District 5 Director Timothy Gubbins, whose office is in San Luis Obispo. Here, like the homeless problem, is another nagging and costly issue that has persisted for years without the clearly necessary and proper street repair. An “inside informant,” whose name, like mine, I want to remain unpublished to protect his/her employment, tells me that proper repair requires first digging down

to the water table below the asphalt, then installing pumps that carry the water to a safe drainage area and dispense of it just as many home owners in the area are doing with basement pumps. That safe drainage point is the river that runs through the area and empties into the harbor. Such proper repair, according to my informant, would cost about five million dollars, a drop in the bucket compared to the damage and inconvenience this continuing nuisance is causing to millions of drivers every year, in my opinion. Why hasn’t proper repair been initiated and completed long ago? Here is the key and the kick in the groin: An over-staffed local Caltrans office that is protecting the salaries of its civil engineers who just keep doing the same superficial “once over” new asphalt layer to cover up the pot holes temporarily rather than fix the problem permanently. Our own Santa Barbara Public Works Department is afflicted with the same staff maintenance issue as opposed to effective and proper street repair. One must deduce that other necessary and critical work impacting every resident and visitor to this city has also been abused in this way at public expense. Can we do something about this, Matt? You are a lawyer who is now, in many ways, fast becoming a civic leader. I have no interest in becoming a politician or bureaucrat in any way shape or form at this stage in life. But you have plenty of life still ahead. A Concerned Citizen (Editor’s Note: I understand the want for anonymity here, A Concerned Citizen, and respect it – especially, I suppose, in light of the protection of your alleged “inside source.” Still, I’d have preferred a name. Regardless, we’ve chosen to print this since we – I, in particular – see the Castillo Street Minefield as something worthy of discussion. I’ve personally navigated the area for the better part of twenty years now. I’ve seen the temporary improvements you referenced and must admit that I have always wondered how in the hell we can’t come up with a more permanent solution to an obvious problem. This also seems to be a nice example of that ageing infrastructure we all hear so much about. So, city bureaucrats and political leaders, what’s up? Can somebody just tell it to us straight so the community knows what the plan of action is down there? Isn’t it worthy of a long-term fix? Aren’t there public safety and property damage issues? What gives? Do tell. Oh, I must say that while I appreciate, I think, the comments about my “fast becoming a civic leader,” I must respectfully disagree. I am – we are – simply doing what we can to get important issues out there to the community for discussion and, hopefully, resolution. And I sure as hell ain’t no damned politician. (Am I? Publisher Tim?) Keep reading. – MSM) (You are. – TLB)

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People with Guns Kill People Dear Matt, America’s love affair with guns has now reached a zenith (or a nadir, depending on how you look at it), wherein no amount of carnage seems to be able to change our basic fondness for owning them. Even the recent shooting at the Washington Navy Yards, which claimed 13 victims and left eight others injured, and now the execution of a TSA agent in Los Angeles, are destined to become just more entries on the timeline of gun violence in America and fade in the national memory over time. Gun control, for sure, is going nowhere fast – if it’s going anywhere at all. What we need, then, is to examine our attitude about guns as a society, and come to a rational, practical understanding of how guns actually create violence rather than just being the convenient instruments of it. I am referring here to the mistaken precept that “guns don’t kill people, people kill people.” It sounds reasonable, except when you ask the following question: Do guns give people the confidence to go through with an act that they might otherwise not able to do, and in doing so, become part of the crime? The massacre in Aurora, Colorado, in which shooter James Holmes killed 12 people and injured 59 others during a late night screening of The Dark Knight Rises, is an example. Holmes is clearly mentally ill, but he is not stupid. He wanted to kill a larger number of people in a short period of time and to make a loud statement (either to himself or to the world). That could not be achieved with knives, telephone wires or baseball bats; that required a gun. A gun in Holmes’ hand was not just another weapon but the very thing that enable him to become a mass murderer that night, making the gun an inseparable part of and a true accessory to the crime. This point is not academic but very real, and applies equally to Newtown and now the Washington Navy Yards. Another example is the killing of Trayvon Martin by George Zimmerman. A bigger question here is whether Zimmerman would have gotten out of his car in the first place had he not been carrying a gun. Regardless of whether Martin attacked Zimmerman first or whether this was a cold-blooded murder, the tragic events of that night would likely never have occurred if Zimmerman had

not been armed. It happened because Zimmerman had a gun and knew that he had the upper hand. The gun in his hand gave him the confidence to pursue a course of action that he would have otherwise deemed too risky. Unlike Holmes, Zimmerman is not mentally ill. Whether he killed Martin deliberately or by accident is impossible to know, but it is a safe bet that Zimmerman would not have “stood his ground” without a gun, and that is the pivot on which that fateful night turned. The right to bear arms is a part of our Constitution and America’s affinity for guns will not diminish. However, that does not preclude us from finding a balancing point that protects the rights of gun owners while protecting our citizens against the prospect of gun violence. Our current gun laws are well meaning but clearly inadequate to address the problem. But to even reach the point of being able to strengthen gun laws, Americans themselves need to question their extreme attitudes about guns, and their refusal to recognize the extent to which guns actually produce mayhem. The finger on the trigger might belong to a person, but when the weapon itself is fused with the gunman’s psychosis or encourages deadly bravado – as in the above examples – it is complicit in the crime itself. Or to put it more directly: Guns do kill people. Leoncio Martins Santa Barbara (Editor’s Note: Thanks Leoncio. I actually think it should be, “People with guns kill people,” but maybe it’s academic. Here’s my position on guns: There is a balance between the important Constitutional right to bear arms and the reality of today’s world. We ain’t dealing with muskets and cannons anymore, folks, and super guns that – in the hands of the wrong people – can kill and injure dozens or more in a moment just aren’t necessary. Period. And we aren’t going to arm a militia with machine guns to defend against a nefarious dystopian centralized government with nukes and tanks and drones and airplanes and hellish warships. So that argument just don’t fly. I don’t care who makes it. Here’s another argument that just don’t fly: The “bad guys” will get the super guns no matter what so the “good guys” need super guns too. That’s a problem that could be legislated away, with severe and strictly

enforced penalties – both civil and criminal – for each actor involved from the shooter to the distributor to the manufacturer. Sensible gun control with clear lines that can be strictly enforced is the right thing in America today. Enough with the other bullsh*t. – MSM)

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SANTA BARBARA SANTA BARBARA

Rest Easy, Santa Barbara: There Aren’t Any Antibiotic Resistant Superbugs In Our Recycled Water Supply Matt, the Sentinel has recently received letters from Dr. Edo McGowan and an alarmed response from at least one reader about recycled water carrying Antibiotic Resistant Genes (ARGs). (An Open Letter to City Council (Vol. 2, Issue 42) and There’s No Such Thing as Antibiotic Resistant Superbugs In Our Recycled Water Supply, Right? (Vol. 2, Issue 43).) Heal the Ocean (HTO) would like to reply to both at the same time: Number One: The California Department of Public Health regulations require recycled water used for irrigation, parks and playgrounds, school yards, residential landscaping and unrestricted access golf courses to be disinfected tertiary recycled water (Article 3 Section 60304) (see www.cdph.ca.gov/certlic/ drinkingwater/Documents/Lawbook/ RWregulations-01-2009.pdf ). This is a ...continued p.36

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by Christina Enoch

Da Boyz Hawaiian Plate. Da kine. Bra.

Pace: Chill + Hip + Minimal + Rastafari + Surfer… Damn Good That’s Executive Chef Jeff Snyder with his homemade buns, of course.

omewhere past a loud bar, a drunken crowd of college kids and an adult shop, just about when you start to feel a bit out of place, you stumble upon a true Santa Barbara gem called Pace. A friend brought me there a few months ago when I needed a night out and a good meal. I remember internally grumbling as I navigated the lower State crowd, I’m too old for this part of town. Shouldn’t I be somewhere else? What am I doing down here? Grumble grumble grumble. But ever since that night, I find myself regularly thanking my friend for bringing me to Pace. Because I absolutely fell in love with the place. It has the kind of vibe that you would find in some hip neighborhood in San Francisco or Portland. The folks sitting at the bar are regulars. They’re relaxed, comfortable. Maybe they’re musicians or artists. Oh, who cares. Let’s eat.

A Family Affair Owned by Executive Chef Jeff Snyder and his wife, Kim, Pace has been open for almost two years now. They’ve had a strong local foodie-type following since they got started. (I should know. I’m one of them.) Jeff’s extensive career has included stints at a number of world-renowned restaurants and resorts in both the Bay Area and San Diego over the past 30 years or so. And after all that time, he (finally) decided to open a small, honest, mom and pop

After years of working full time for an ad agency, Christina found her passion in cooking and food. Now armed with her newfound title, “Culinary School Graduate Food Blogger,” she writes and shares her passion for food, cooking, restaurants, photography and food styling in her popular blog, black dog :: food blog. Christina’s a proud mommy of not one but two shelter dogs and lives here in Santa Barbara with her husband. She’s also an avid Polynesian dancer, beach lover, traveler, swimmer, snowboarder and most of all, a lover of anything edible and yummy. Check out her ramblings here and at www.blackdogfoodblog.com.

restaurant where he can serve the same food that he would serve to his family. That’s Pace. Jeff works the back of the house with his two tall, rather good-looking sons; Kim works the front of the house. They really make you feel like you are at their home. “I wanted to keep it old fashioned,” Chef Jeff told me. “No fancy advertising, no ‘overdoing’ it with the food. Just great food with fresh, local ingredients. I cook each plate, one plate at a time,” he smiled. “Passion and love are my favorite ingredients.” How can you not love that? Jeff and Kim’s welcoming, inclusive attitude permeates the staff and dining room. And the whole experience is utterly enjoyable.

Ahi poke with seaweed salad. I’m salivating.

Marinated Roasted Chicken. Comfort, comfortable and comforting.

Something for Everyone The food completely blew my expectations away. The Calamari “Fries” are a fun and distinctly non-wimpy twist on what you might otherwise expect: Calamari marinated in coconut milk and Thai red curry, dipped in red chili sauce… I’m yearning as I type. I hate myself for writing about a Caesar Salad but it’s one of the best I’ve had and worth a mention. It’s ultra crispy and crunchy and the side shrimps – which came straight from Santa Barbara Fish Market – are super fresh and flavorful. The Marinated Roast Chicken is comforting and delicious, a real local favorite that shouldn’t be missed. Don’t skip the famous Papa Burger, either: Homemade bun, freshly ground angus chuck, California Red Apple Wood smoked bacon and grilled chipotle onions. Mmmm. Juicy. Dessert. I had Chef Jeff’s Lemon Cheese Cake. No words. (Well, maybe

fluffy and airy and light and lemony and heavenly.) In the running for the single best cheesecake I’ve ever eaten. (And I’ve eaten plenty.) Dessert at Pace changes all the time, so if you don’t see Lemon Cheese Cake, go to the kitchen and start nagging Jeff. It’s worth it. Those are just a few of the dishes I’ve come to love, but the “limited” menu has something for everyone: Asian fusion, Hawaiian, comfort food, burgers, Italian, seafood, steak… you name it. It’s always worth the trip and should be high on your list if you haven’t tried it yet. It’s high on mine every time, and I’ve spent way too many evenings in there with Jeff and Kim and the family already. See you soon at Pace. Pace supports local artists – works on the walls are for sale – and definitely plan on staying for live music on weekend nights. Pace Food + Drink. 413 State. (805) 8458388. Closed Monday and Tuesday. www. pacefoodanddrink.com. Casual.

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Metropolitan ABOUT TIME (R) Theatres Corp. 1:40 4:30 7:30 present......

Science Fiction and Buttered Popcorn

f movie theaters are going to survive – and they should – then perhaps concessionstand employees should be encouraged to actually listen. Their feeling obligated to sell additional items (aka “upgrades”) has backfired to an embarrassing extent. While at an out-of-town cineplex recently, I was greeted by a young lady as I tried to order my go-to combination. (Thanks to my dubious diet at the movies, you can envision the hardening of arteries and rotting of teeth.) Although the girl spoke perfect English, it soon became clear that I must’ve been annunciating in an undecipherable language similar to Charlie Brown’s teacher. After I vocalized my order of a medium popcorn with extra butter, layered, and same-sized Coke, her inevitable sales pitch seeped out: “Would you like to upgrade to a large of either item for fifty cents more?” “No, thanks,” I reacted. “Couldn’t eat or drink that much even if it were free.” “Any nachos or candy with that?” “Not in this lifetime,” I shook my head for emphasis, just in case. “So, did you want butter on the popcorn?” “Yes, layered.”(Is there an echo in here?) “And, uh, sorry, what type of drink – was it Sprite?” I paused, having become weary of the communication gap. Then like a true addict, I repeated my poison. Meanwhile, a woman in the adjacent line, whose simple choice of plain popcorn and water was the opposite of mine, had the last laugh. In any case, I expect to be the first person whose cause of death will be buttered popcorn. As for what’s actually on the silver screen: Lord knows I tried to avoid analyzing two science-fiction films at once. Due to bad timing and wide-ranging locations, however, alternatives were in short supply. About Time and The Fifth Estate were among the preferable options that slipped through my fingers like eels. Convenience led me to a pair of average comic/video flicks, one of which slightly trumped the other and thus comes first:

Game On

somewhat misjudged Ender’s Game, a sci-fi adventure that’s better than expected – not exactly a booming recommendation, but still. Based on Orson Scott Card’s popular book, which is on neither my shelves nor my Christmas list, the tale involves a computer-savvy teen who can save the human race by fending off a giant ant-like species. If that sounds preposterous, well, you aren’t alone in this universe. Deep in orbit, our hero Ender (Asa Butterfield) goes to the head of the military class, thanks to his video-game precision and decision-making skills that impress the colonel (Harrison Ford), who works with an underused but effective Viola Davis. Emerging late in the day, with resolute calm as if to spite his tattooed face, is Ben Kingsley as the esteemed fleet commander. Other program participants and Ender’s peers literally come into play, all in the name of an epic battle. Director Gavin Hood (X-Men Origins: Wolverine) and his cadre of techs have cooked up a fantastical pastiche of real-life and impossibly vivid imagination. The moral to youths with damaged psyches: Stay online and practice those video games, for it could pay off for all mankind. Despite the young messiah’s flower-stem physique, Butterfield manages to punch his weight with seasoned heavyweights Ford and Kingsley, both of whom – save a few lines of passionate dialogue – appear too smug and jaded.

Hammer Time

hor: The Dark World follows the beaten path of Marvel’s favorite hammer-holding Mighty Avenger (Chris Hemsworth, photographed like a Greek god), who might sacrifice a line to the throne to reunite with his beloved Jane (Natalie Portman). Can the superhero help his father and king (Anthony Hopkins) save Earth and the “Nine Realms” from a formidable enemy? And whose side is his brother (Tom Hiddleston) really on, anyway? The proceedings are directed, if that’s the word in this splintered, far-reaching capacity, by Alan Taylor. We hear plenty about dark and darkness, justifying the film’s title, and such thrilling terminology as “pre-universe relics.” Amid the onslaught of CGI effects, it’s nice to see the fresh face of Kat Dennings as the heroine’s sassy intern, and more laughs come courtesy of Stellan Skarsgard, the mad scientist who has an aversion to clothing: “I’d better get my pants.” Indeed.

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THE MINDFUL WORD by Diana M. Raab

An award-winning memoirist, essayist, blogger and poet living in Santa Barbara, Diana’s been writing ever since she received her first pen more than fifty years ago. She is the author of eight books and numerous articles and poems. Her passions include journaling and inspiring others to write. She’s a regular blogger for the Huffington Post and her website is: www.dianaraab.com.

Confessional Writing

ast month, I participated in three events at the West Hollywood Book Fair, one of which was facilitating a Confessional Writing Workshop. It was a full room, which sort of told me something. It reminded me that people have a lot of secrets locked up inside of them – secrets they are ready to reveal either to themselves or the world-at-large. For readers, confessional writing is an attention-grabber. We all like to hear one another’s secrets and untold stories. Just think about the most interesting books or articles you ever read. Chances are they share a compelling secret or dark hidden feelings. Not all confessional writing, however, needs to be shared or published in order to have a purpose. Your confessions may be in the form of a letter that you write to someone but never send, or maybe even a poem dedicated to someone. For the most part, personal or confessional writing can help us make sense of certain events and circumstances in our lives. It can provide relief from the pain or discomfort of hiding behind a veil of secrets.

If you write and end up publishing your writing, you might also help others who have gone through (or are going through) similar life experiences. One of my favorite reference books on the subject is Fearless Confessions by Sue William Silverman, who says that confessional writers serve as emotional guides for others. Honesty is of particular importance in confessional writing. In Phillip Lopate’s classic anthology, The Art of the Personal Essay, he says, “The struggle for honesty is central to the ethos of the personal essay,” and I would say this is also relevant to confessional writing. Many examples of this profound writing are included in this wonderful collection. Lopate continues by saying that the “personal essayist [and I add the confessional writer] must above all be a reliable narrator; we must trust his or her core of sincerity.” He believes that part of this trust is connected with the writer’s personal exposure of betrayals, uncertainties and self-mistrust. Many people consider memoir the main format for confessional writing,

but really, any personal writing that uses “I” could be considered confessional. It’s written in the first person and shares a secret or revelation. The Confessions of St. Augustine, an early Christian Theologian, are among the first published confessions. Written in Latin during the 4th and 5th centuries, it consists of 13 volumes where St. Augustine discusses his conversion to Christianity as a result of “sins,” such as theft and lust, that he committed as a child. His confessions involve writing about his regret for having lived what he considers a sinful and immortal life. If you decide to do some confessional writing, you might start by asking yourself, “What am I carrying?” Some of the most powerful writing is done when, for example, you write about what you hold on to and connect it to a universal theme that others can relate to. In this way, the writer is prompted to dive deep and then surface and look beyond themselves. Confessional writing should not be confused with writing about trauma, although sometimes these endeavors overlap. Confessions could simply be intimate secrets, passions or dreams. For example, here are some confessions that my students at the Santa Barbara Writers Conference and Antioch’s Summer Writing Institute have made: - I forged a legal letter - I am bisexual - I cannot stop thinking about sex - I want to kill my mother - I fantasize about running away with my professor - I hire only sexy personal assistants - I never answer the phone when it rings - I secretly love my job but just to fit in, tell everyone I hate it - I am 50 and have no idea what I want to do when I grow up Before starting, I suggest you write the word BREATHE across the top of your

reate music and learn about how music impacts the healing process.

page. Then take some deep breaths in and out. This is just a gentle reminder of what sustains you! Before doing any kind of writing, try to incorporate some form of ritualistic activity, such as meditating, lighting a candle, having a cup of tea or stretching. Here are some possible writing ideas to get you started: • Write for a few minutes about what is often on your mind – is it sex, books, clothes, cars or nature? Write a little about the history of this obsession and where you think it originated. Is it connected to an event or a particular person? • Begin with the statement, “Before I leave I want to tell you… ” Sometimes it’s good to direct your writing at one person. • Think of someone to whom you are thankful – a relative, friend, mentor, a loved one. Write a letter to him or her expressing your gratitude, how you feel and how important he or she is (or was) in your life. • Think of something or someone who makes you angry. Write a letter to him or her telling he or she how you feel. It does not matter if you decide to send it or not, the important thing is that you are writing it down. • Write a poem starting with: “I am sorry” • Think about something you did in the past where you made a mistake. Write about how you would deal with the situation differently now. And remember, to be an effective writer, you must be a good reader. Reading memoirs is a good way to connect with some confessional writing. My website (www.dianaraab.com/favorites) has a list of some recommended memoirs, but in addition to my own, there are many others written by local authors, which can be found in most of our small independent bookstores, such as Tecolote, Chaucer’s, Granada Books and The Book Den.

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...continued from p.31 higher level of wastewater treatment than described in the National Institute of Health (NIH) study (“Reclaimed Water as a Reservoir of Antibiotic Resistant Genes…”) cited by Sentinel reader Tim Gilles last week. If you read the NIH study carefully (www.ncbi.n/m. nih.gov/ pubmed/213755046) you will note that it refers only to wastewater that has received lower level secondary treatment – the level of treatment required for ocean disposal. Number Two: Dr. McGowan implies that the highly regarded Water Environment Research Foundation (WERF) has produced a study focused on the City of Santa Barbara recycled water, when in fact the 2004 WERF study (www. countyofsb.org/uploadedFiles/pwd/ Water/IRWMP/Att03_IG2_WorkPlan_ App03_01_1of4%20(locked%20 document).pdf ) is focused on recycled water in general – in regard to current bacteria standards that do not adequately show the presence of viruses and bacteria that escape WWTP treatment. HTO agrees with this study, and this premise, but believes that skewing the WERF study to imply a specific lapse in Santa Barbara City recycled water production is disingenuous. Furthermore, City of Santa Barbara is not providing recycled water at this time but is instead rebuilding its recycled water plant in a $10 million project to add microfiltration, which removes 90% of Contaminants of Emerging Concern (CECs), which include antibiotics. Phase II of this project will add reverse osmosis. Heal the Ocean is working on the CEC issue at the State level, and supports the Santa Barbara upgrade by seeking funding through Proposition 84, to help this project. Why does Heal the Ocean care about this issue? Because our mandate is to get waste(d) water out of the ocean, which interestingly enough coincides with a statewide need to quit wasting precious water that is now used to irrigate our parched California landscapes. The only way to do all this is by recycling, by using highly-treated water for our lawns and golf courses and other irrigation purposes so that we save precious (and scarcer) water for our real needs. We have to get there by working together and by being willing to pay for it. HTO continues our work on this issue, and we continue to seek funding for wastewater and water districts, so we can safely expand recycled water production

W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

across the state. Hillary Hauser, Executive Director Heal the Ocean (Editor’s Note: You really responded well to my call for some clarity here, Hillary, and I truly appreciate the citations and explanation. Recycled water is undeniably an important tool going forward, as perhaps our most important natural resource becomes scarcer, and making it as safe as possible is something everybody should be able to get behind both with their hearts and minds… and their pocketbooks. Please keep us apprised of HTO’s efforts and progress in this regard; it’s an issue we’d like to hear more about. Perhaps most importantly, I’m considering watering my front lawn, sending my kids to school and playing golf again soon. Phew. Thanks again, Hillary, I’m in a better mood now. – MSM)

Wait a Second, Hang On: Maybe There are Superbugs After All… Dear Editor: In your responses to recent letters written by Dr. Edo McGowan, Ph. D., you specifically asked someone to “please write in and tell me that there’s no such thing as ‘antibiotic resistant superbugs’ in the recycled water supply...” (An Open Letter to City Council (Vol. 2, Issue 42) and There’s No Such Thing as Antibiotic Resistant Superbugs In Our Recycled Water Supply, Right? (Vol. 2, Issue 43).) That finding of “no superbugs in the recycled water supply” is fairly easy to make, merely by using the current standard California State approved lab tests that look only at single indicator bacteria. Use that test and you will not find a single antibiotic resistant bacterium, let alone those so called dangerous superbugs. This should assure your readers that the water is legal. But the critical question is whether it is safe. Now some caveats. First, the state tests used in this manner, even with a contained swarm of serious pathogens, would probably not find a problem. It is the wrong test and using it, as the City of Santa Barbara does, makes the water legal. So, let’s now look at the breaching of legality. A few months ago, the California Supreme Court dismissed liability of water providers if their water products meet the State Standards. Those

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Standards were previously set by the Public Utilities Commission and the State Department of Public Health (formerly the Department of Health Services). Thus, the water industry vastly reduces its liability. Leaning on such legal standards actually permits some water agencies (whose water products have made people ill, and even resulted in reports of deaths) do skirt liability. This legal safe harbor is highly coveted by water agencies. In addition, the Court has simultaneously also indicated that numerical standards are basically what a water agency must use, not qualitative standards. Non-numeric standard terms such as “healthful,” “clean,” “safe,” etcetera, have no legal leverage in these cases. They are just nice sounding words. The Court also found that no water provider is capable of supplying “pure” water and that isolated cases of exceeding maximum contaminant levels do not cause violations in California. Unfortunately, for the public, the Court seemed not to have grasped the fact that bacteria and other pathogens are quite capable of massive rapid division and multiplication. Some small initial numbers like these can quickly become very impressive due to reproduction and multiplication. This was seen in relatively recent tests regarding recycled water in Santa Barbara when looking at antibiotic resistant genes. The City indicated that it was not using recycled water anymore. Interestingly, the testing of the city’s water in the purple pipes (following the cessation of utilizing recycled water to irrigate public lawns) actually searched for biofilm development within the delivery pipes themselves (again we need to emphasize after the through-put of recycled water had been stopped) found evidence of several serious superbugs remaining within that system. The point is that the delivery system may be badly contaminated with biofilms that continue to grow and shed bacteria. Such special tests would call for the question of validity (from a public health perspective of the current state standards that the City uses). A case worth reviewing is that of Walkerton, Canada, where the city’s water system became contaminated and the whole system had to be ripped out and replaced because many people in Walkerton, a community of about 5,000 people, began to simultaneously experience bloody diarrhea and other symptoms of E. coli infection. For days the Public Utilities Commission insisted the water supply was “OK” despite being in possession of laboratory tests that found evidence of contamination. In retrospect, the Walkerton situation became even worse. Those originally found to be affected (not just the statically documented cases) who did not become ill enough to go to the hospital are now still experiencing lingering kidney damage. These were not the “reported” cases. This

kidney disease greatly increased the latent issues of high blood pressure and all of its attendant problems. Thus, the reach of the water contamination far exceeded the original statistics. The next issue follows on what might then have been asked, where are all the dead bodies? Here we have a problem. Let me illustrate. Methicillin resistant staphylococcus aureus (MRSA) is a serious superbug. It, by itself, is thought by the CDC to now kill more Americans than AIDS. There are, however, State requirements to be met for reporting such infections by MRSA. To meet such requirements is a torturous route. Not all actual MRSA infections (in reality a fairly large number) are eligible for such reporting. This is an example of the technical nuisances of reporting. A significant number of those infections (the human dead bodies) were excluded from reporting. Not long ago, a friend’s wife in Cottage Hospital nearly died from MRSA (but her case was excluded from reporting). Thus, we do have some statistics, such as they are. A group that one could reliably count is those with cystic fibrosis, a serious disease that affects the respiratory and digestive systems in children and young adults. These people are very susceptible to resistant pathogens. However, back to the question. No, we cannot say that there is a problem as long as we rely on antiquated State Water Quality Standards. Unfortunately, the pathogens do not live in the bureaucratic world nor do they play such polite political games. John M. Ackerman, M.D. Lt. Commander, U.S.P.H.S. Santa Barbara (Editor’s Note: So then it’s at least possible that there are antibiotic resistant superbugs in our water supply, right, Dr. Ackerman? It’s just that the tests being utilized by the City don’t catch them, which is a boon for water providers relying on the insufficient standards that our bureaucrats have adopted. (Can anyone say, “It’s the water lobby, stupid?”) Your reference to MSRA reminded me that our very own Rachelle Oldmixon – the Mad Scientist herself – wrote a column back in July 2013 about antibiotic resistant superbugs, also known as MSRA. (Beating Beastly Bacteria, Badly, Vol. 2, Issue 21.) It involved a softball-sized lump on the back of Rachelle’s leg and some related pain and stress, but she nevertheless came to the conclusion that “scientists are smarter than drug resistant bacteria” and that therefore she “think[s] we’ll be ok.” Ultimately, so do I. (I think.) But it’s clear at this point that this whole contaminated recycled water/superbug thing is actually a real issue that is drawing interest from readers, so I’d like to continue to explore it going forward. I’d also like to be sure that the City is in fact aware of the issue and that it is doing what’s necessary to keep Santa ...continued p.40

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Plan B by Briana Westmacott Hailing from NorCal, Briana has lived in Santa Bar-

bara for the past fifteen years. While she is indeed an adjunct faculty member at SBCC and has contributed to LOVEmikana, Wake & Wander and Entrée Magazine, much of her time is spent multi-tasking her way through days as a mother, wife, sister, wantto-be chef and travel junky. Writing is an outlet that ensures mental stability… usually.

The Language of Memories Me and my dad, circa 1978. It looks like I still have my front teeth here. And no, that’s not the back of the van.

hat is your earliest memory? This isn’t an easy question and if your first thought leads you to a photo, it doesn’t count. I’m talking about a real memory. So unless you can conjure up your vision without the help of Kodak, then that image of your first fistful of birthday cake or your sweetly swaddledself in a bassinet doesn’t work. So stop. Think. What is it? Chances are you can’t remember anything before age five or six. It takes some digging; I don’t dispute that. Having trouble? Here are a couple of my first recollections to grease the old wheels.

Pain and Shame Mark the Brain I dug as far back as 1978 when I was four years old and my front tooth got KOed. This I can physically recall. My sister Jaime and I were playing blind tag – picture Marco Polo but without the pool – and I was running and grinning with my eyes squeezed shut when I ran my smack-dab into a doorjamb. My front baby tooth was knocked loose. That little pearl put up a fight and dangled in my mouth for days. It turned a deep shade of blue before it was declared down for the count. The battle was officially lost when my Dad tied a string around it and yanked it out. (Where was

Me and my best friend Buffy. We did everything together. (According to my Mom, everything included the many times she caught me eating Buffy’s food. Gross, Mom, you could’ve moved the dog food up or something.)

the dentist, Dad?!) Pain. Pain makes memories. (And now you see, Dr. Rhode, that while I completely trust your dental skills, I will always have trouble getting into your chair.) Shame also seems to stick with us. My old man had a creepy Scooby Doo van that had no windows and caused me a great deal of embarrassment. I think it was even carpeted in the back. (I know what you’re thinking. But no, my father was not a kidnapper, although I am surprised he was never targeted by the police with me and my three sisters rolling around in the back of that Econoline. He definitely looked suspicious). That damn van tortured me. I begged and pleaded with my Dad to drop me off around the corner from my school so no one would see me crawling out of the belly of that beast. But, no, Dad refused to succumb to my pleas. Even worse, after he caught on to my superficial shame, he would pull right up in front of the school and play nasty little tricks where he would pull forward, right as I reached for the door, and stop a few feet ahead of me, leaving me high and dry. Each time I went to grab for that door handle, he would inch forward a little more and stop, all whilst laughing hysterically behind the steering wheel. I had to literally chase the Mystery Machine across the school parking lot just to get in. Ah yes, shame, like pain, has a searing effect.

Where Did All the Good Times Go? I can’t quite figure out where all the good times are in my memories from the early years. I know they were plentiful. Why can’t I recapture my furry, first best friend in the whole wide world, Buffy? And what about my Big Wheel? My Mom said that I loved bombing hills on that thing. Thankfully my baby book has all of this and more documented. (Thanks Mom!) But, why don’t I have that reminiscence? (Help Rachelle Oldmixon, I need some Mad Science on this!) Even more disturbing is the fact that, more than likely, my children will have no recollection of the numerous birthday

parties and trips to Disneyland and just about all the laborious work we put into our devoted waking hours over the last five to eight years. Great. All those cherished events and moments of love will be trumped by the drilling of their first cavity or the time that I forgot to pick them up at school. But maybe there is some hope. In one of the literature courses that I teach, my students read Jeanette Walls’ novel, The Glass Castle. Walls clearly has a powerful mind for memory. Her ability to resurrect her childhood has been praised and honored in the literary community and beyond. So, then, it’s possible one of my darlings will recall her first princess tea party that we hosted or all the long hours logged at the soccer field. If not, I suppose my children will be able to read about some of it in the archives of the Sentinel. That’s the unparalleled beauty and power of words. Once in print, you can’t take them back.

Santa Barbara, Are You Speaking Our Language? Every week, I have my own love affair with words as I write this column. Well, the truth is that sometimes it’s love and other times it’s hate, but all the while, I toy and play and devote myself, as best I can, to the words that end up on these pages. And this week, I’d like to ask you to share some of yours. I want you to send in your earliest memory involving our treasured town, and I want pictures too. Dig out your old photo books and write to me with your first memory in Santa Barbara. I want to read it. I really do. So right after you have finished doing Schatzle’s workout, sit down with one of Zach’s recommended beers and pen your first memory involving SB. Then send it in to me at briana@ santabarbarasentinel.com. Who knows? You may just find that picking up that pen opens up a whole new world for you.

Briana’s Best Bets

here is nothing that makes me happier than getting lost in an independent bookstore. (Maybe a great glass of wine comes close.) And one of our backyard bookstores just celebrated a big birthday. That’s right, Santa Barbara favorite Chaucer’s Bookstore is 39 years young. Congratulations, Chaucer’s, that’s a lot of years! Readers: Right after you send me your stories about your memories, head over to Chaucer’s to get yourself a fresh journal to safely keep all the words that come tumbling out. Chaucer’s is at 3321 State Street. Check out www.chaucersbooks.com for details.

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WEEKEND GUIDE

.com

• LOVE IS FREE

SANTA BARBARA LIVING

the

SANTA BARBARA SKINNY

.com What: Onward’s Grand Opening Soirée Where: Onward, 1233 State Street When: Friday, November 15, 6 – 8pm Why: Food, wine, shopping... need we say more? How: Help the artful new home goods store celebrate in style!

ARTS & CULTURE Holy Cow!

By Sylvie Butera Rich ikable and lovable are these artistic cows by artist VanLuc. Hailing from France, his bovine creations will be here visiting us in Santa Barbara for the entire month of November at one of our favorite stores, Plum Goods (909 State Street). So moooove over, it’s out with the old and in with the new. VanLuc’s cows come in all sorts of shapes, sizes and mediums, but his VAVAs are the metal cows uniquely painted for his exhibit in Santa Barbara. What can we say? We love it when something is made just for us. And, in France, as VanLuc expresses, the ordinary can be extraordinary. We couldn’t agree more and adore these extraordinary bovine beauties. Go to www.plumgoodsstore.com for store hours and check out www.vachedesite.com to see VanLuc’s cows (you’ll have to follow the prompts). They are amazing!

What’ll It Cost Me: Free to attend!

the

• LOOSE CHANGE

SANTA ByourARBARA S KINNY guide to

.com

SANTA BARBARA LIVING

What: Champagne and Oysters Where: Corks n’ Crowns, 32 Anacapa Street When: Friday, November 15, 5 – 9pm Why: We think you’ll be happy as a clam. How: TGIF! Celebrate the start of your weekend over a champagne flight of eight bubbly tastings paired with a half dozen oysters (shucked to order) with three accompanying sauces.

What’ll It Cost Me: $30 per person

• HEY BIG SPENDER

WINE & DINE

What: Pie High Where: Email elizabeth.colling@gmail.com to place your ord er. When: Now thru Wednesday, November 20 Why: Local (and renowned) Martha Stewart Pastry Chef Elizabeth Colling is whipping up decadent pies for Thanksgiving. How: Choose one (or four!): Pumpkin with Homemade Graham Cracker Crust, Classic Southern Pecan, Apple Brown Butter or (and!) Chocolate Ganache with a Homemade Chocolate Cookie Crust.

Holiday Kick

By Eve Sommer-Belin

ife threw Suze McClellan, owner of Green Clover Creations, quite a few challenges. But instead of making lemonade out of lemons, she made jelly with hot peppers! This long time Santa Barbaran took her perfected pepper jelly recipe and decided to share it with the world through Ojai Pepper Jelly. The original jelly, Jalapeno, is full of vibrant flavors and a wonderful balance of acidity, sweet and heat. The Habanero jelly is joined by bell peppers and is a bit sweeter, but still holds quite the kick. Suze suggests using her jellies on most anything from fish dishes to cream cheese bagels to glazes to a sauce over prosciutto wrapped asparagus. For the holidays, she’s created gift baskets made of reclaimed wood and filled them with either the smaller, sampler size jars or the larger 11oz jars of jelly and a handy recipe. Visit www. ojaijalapenojelly.com to peruse Suze’s jellies and find local retailers.

What’ll It Cost Me: All pies are $43 and come in either a reusable pie tin or tart pan.

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...continued from p.36 Barbarans as safe as possible under the circumstances. City leaders? Relevant water bureaucrats? Anything to say here regarding our water supply and/or the related infrastructure? Just tossing it out there. Thanks, Dr. Ackerman, for the letter. – MSM)

Larry the (Anarchical) Cable Guy Is Back! Hi Matt, I thought I’d write regarding your comments to my letter last week: “Are we actually capable of voting the right politicians into office?” (On Sovereign Debt, Thomas Jefferson and Michael Franti, Vol. 2, Issue 43.) It definitely is a very big problem. There are no candidate forums to speak of that allow a person to really vet a candidate. Unless of course you consider the farces put on by the plague of self-interested quasipolitical organizations to be such. Where they require questions of the candidates to be in writing and only the softball questions are asked of their favorites, and then after reading the tough questions among themselves and having a good laugh, they drop them into the round file. Thank you for finishing the Thomas Jefferson quote, “If we are to guard against ignorance and remain free, it is the responsibility of every American to be informed.” I agree with you that the issues

are complex, however for our posterities’ sake we have to “put on that manly gown” and tackle them. We really do not have any other choice. One of the problems, as I see it, is the fact that most, if not all, of the immigrants now coming to this country, of late, have come from countries that have oppressive governments where corruption is a way of life. Those people possess very little, if any, knowledge of what made this country unique. Another is Americans who have been raised, by-and-large, on a steady diet of drivel from the boob tube, and leftist crackpot Marxist ideology in the school system. Ultimately, I suppose, it boils down to whether you have been educated to follow the path of Socrates-PlatoKant-Heidegger where reality is simply “shadows on the cave wall” and you can turn anything into anything. But if you follow the Aristotle-Adam Smith-Schumpeter-Von Mises-HayekAyn Rand philosophical line where logic and reason are used to determine objective reality, you would not reach the convoluted court decisions that we so commonly see these days, such as the tortured Obamacare SCOTUS decision. Judges are almost always selected from the more politically active lawyers. The result is that those at the highest levels tend to be the most political and that politics more often trump the Constitution.

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While the city of Los Angeles has been both an inspiration and a home to the four members of Dawes, they found themselves traveling East last fall to record their third album, Stories Don’t End in the Blue Ridge Mountains of North Carolina.

Thanks again, Ron, I feel better now. I also have a strong desire for a beach chair and a tall drink with an umbrella in it. Amen.

And then supposing by some miracle we did manage to find a candidate for office that possessed a remarkable amount of integrity, first they would have to survive the notoriously corrupt Diebold computer ballot counting process. (No paper trail?) And then just supposing by another miracle our candidate won the election. We then have to be concerned that once our candidate was in office he didn’t become compromised by the old guard. To keep this as short as possible, for freedom-oriented readers I also recommend subscribing to the various online newsletters (aka blogs) such as the Patriot Post, The Daily Bell, The Daily Crux, etc. They are free and very freedom oriented. Of course there are many more. There is also the Ron Paul Peace And Freedom Foundation. Two books I recommend are The School Revolution by Ron Paul, and Of Plymouth Plantation; Bradford’s History Of the Plymouth Settlement 1608-1650. The latter is Governor Bradford’s own account from original source documents. In short, it relates how the Plymouth community tried socialistic communal agriculture and almost starved to death, but when they abandoned the communal way, and private planting was encouraged, the colony flourished. It is an eyewitness account of what would become the United States of America and should be mandatory reading of every single American before they graduate from high school or are eligible to vote. And even though we are engaged in a David and Goliath battle, so were the founders of the country. While leviathan may possess all the big guns, we have the most potent weapon of all and that is “an idea whose time has come.” Larry Bond Santa Barbara

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Capturing the Majesty Hi Matt, I’m back with the brand I wish to be known for, that of beauty seeker wherever I may be. Now readers of my letters and images, which you have honored me to publish, may see that I do indeed have an investment in this City’s own brand as a travel destination recognized throughout the world. As a professional photographer and advertising director, this is the brand I dedicate myself and my skills to support, not just whistle blowing when I see our civic government in need of a push to put politics and bureaucracy aside to protect and preserve our city’s welfare. This letter is for everyone who, like the fellow on the beach this morning, took a moment like me to record our blessings. All the best, Ron Atwood Santa Barbara (Editor’s Note: Thanks Ron, I needed that. All the dystopian society and guns and killing and human pets and superbugs stuff was really getting to me. Yours is a terrific shot of our terrific home and it makes me feel, well, terrific. Your letters over the past few weeks have raised some important issues, even if Mayor Schneider refuses to respond. Thanks for taking the time, and thanks for the lovely image. I hope everybody enjoys it as much as I do. – MSM)

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(Editor’s Note: Wow. That there’s a lot to digest, Larry. At its core, however, I read it as an indictment of our entire political system and every one of our three branches of government. Sounds like you – like Michael Franti and I – want a peaceful revolution too… I’m just not sure that we all agree on exactly what the product of that revolution might look like. Regardless, I appreciate the passionate and thoughtful response, Larry, right on. – MSM)

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REAL ESTATE

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1010 Crestwood Place

by Michael Calcagno

Michael has consistently been ranked in the top 1% of Sotheby’s agents worldwide. Shortly after joining Sotheby’s, he partnered with Nancy Hamilton to form one of the most successful real estate teams in Santa Barbara. Michael can be reached at Michael@ HomesinSantaBarbara.com

The Holiday Season

he holidays are now upon us. Naturally, homeowners are gearing up to leave town or for friends and family to come to town in the coming months. So what can we expect for real estate? Well, historically, we can expect to start to see a decrease in new listings and fewer properties closing or pending. But I have said in the past that the holidays can sometimes be the busiest time of year for real estate, and this year I will predict once again that this is true. Keep a watchful eye on the market over these next few months. While you might not see a lot of activity, the true indicator is what happens with closings in January and February. If properties are closing in those months, it is most certainly because during late November and December, offers started getting negotiated and were set to close after the holidays. These next few months can be some of the best times to find year-end deals to close in the new year. So stoke the fire, get nice and cozy and watch the coming months. Oh, and for a really good fire, I suggest using old Sentinels for kindling… they burn well and the editors would want it that way! Take a look at a few of these new fire starters for this week.

Mortgage statistics provided by Justin M. Kellenberger, Senior Loan Officer at SG Premier Lending Group, Inc. Justin can always be reached at justin@sgpremierlending.com. Note: The foregoing economic breakdowns do not include potential tax benefit analyses since that will ultimately depend upon a number of additional factors. But home ownership can indeed have tremendous tax-savings potential and should be considered with your realtor and/or tax accountant as part of the ownership decision.

3073 Marilyn Way

Purchase price: $729,000 Down payment (20%): $145,800 Loan amount: $583,200 Loan payment: $2,826 (30 yr fixed rate at 4.125% (4.197% APR)) Property taxes estimate: $668 Home insurance estimate: $80

Total Monthly Payment: $3,574

Purchase price: $899,000

Down payment (20%): $179,800

Loan amount: $719,200 Loan payment: $3,485

(30 yr fixed rate at 4.125% (4.197% APR)) Property taxes estimate: $824 Home insurance estimate: $80

Total Monthly Payment: $4,389

3813 Calle Cita

Purchase price: $995,000 Down payment (20%): $199,00 Loan amount: $796,000 Loan payment: $3,857

(30 yr fixed rate at 4.125% (4.197% APR)) Property taxes estimate: $912 Home insurance estimate: $100

Total Monthly Payment: $4,869

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OPEN HOUSE GUIDE SUNDAY NOVEMBER 17 Downtown 212 Equestrian Avenue 1-4pm $3,395,000 3bd/5ba Tim Walsh 259-8808 Village Properties 18 West Victoria Street #308 12-5pm $2,600,000 2bd/3ba Alma Del Pueblo Sales Team 845-4393 Village Properties 18 West Victoria Street #204 12-5pm $1,459,000 1bd/2ba Alma Del Pueblo Sales Team 845-4393 Village Properties 18 West Victoria Street #207 12-5pm $1,300,000 1bd/2ba Alma Del Pueblo Sales Team 845-4393 Village Properties 18 West Victoria Street #109 12-5pm $855,000 0bd/1ba Alma Del Pueblo Sales Team 845-4393 Village Properties 401 Chapala Street Unit 110 11-4pm $850,000 1bd/1.5ba Michael Calcagno & Nancy Hamilton 896-0876 Sotheby’s International Realty 1710 De La Vina Street 2-4pm $769,000 2bd/2ba Jan Banister 455-1194 Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices 236 Por La Mar Circle 2-4pm $575,000 1bd/1ba John Sirois 455-6277 Village Properties Eastside 2130 State Street 2-4pm $1,395,000 4bd/2.5ba Darcie McKnight 637-7772 Sotheby’s International Realty 729 East Anapamu #B 2-4pm $1,249,000 3bd/2.5ba Lee Walsh 886-0660 Village Properties 400 East Pedregosa Street #I 2:30-4:30pm $799,000 2bd/2ba Stephanie Wilson 895-3270 Sotheby’s International Realty 1208 Blanchard Street 1-4pm $659,000 3bd/3ba Sam Bayer 222-0088 Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices 16 East Padre Street #9 1-3pm $625,000 2bd/2ba Ann Zafiratos 448-4317 Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices 573 East Montecito Street 1-3pm $512,100 2bd/2.5ba Von Gray-Ferren 722-2173 Coldwell Banker Mesa

1409 Shoreline Drive 1-5pm $4,749,000 4bd/4ba Gene Archambault 455-1190 Sun Coast Real Estate 1927 El Camino De La Luz 2-5pm $3,395,000 3bd/2ba Ken Switzer 680-4622 Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices 348 Palisades Drive 2-4pm $1,695,000 5bd/3.5ba Randy Freed 895-1799 Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices 2321 Edgewater Way 2-4pm $1,550,000 3bd/1.5ba Christopher W Hunt 453-3407 Village Properties 241 El Monte Drive 12-4pm $1,299,000 3bd/2.5ba Jason Streatfeild 280-9797 Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices 628 Juanita Avenue 1-4pm $1,079,000 3bd/2ba Yolanda Van Wingerden 570-4965 Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices 270 Coleman Avenue 2-4pm $1,025,000 3bd/1.5ba John Gaffney 448-4663 Village Properties 919 Calle Cortita 1-3pm $889,900 4bd/3ba Scott Williams 451-9300 Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices 50 Barranca Avenue #7 1-3pm $825,000 3bd/2ba Reyne Stapelmann 705-4353 Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices 2051 Cliff Drive #3 1-4pm $625,000 2bd/1.5ba Cathy Moseley 570-6006 Coldwell Banker Riviera 1213 Viscaino Road 1-4pm $1,870,000 3bd/2ba Joyce Enright 570-1360 Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices 10 Rincon Vista 1-3pm $1,825,000 4bd/3.5ba Ed Kaleugher 963-1391 Sotheby’s International Realty 1300 Las Alturas Road 2-4pm $1,795,000 4bd/2.5ba Pascale Bassan 689-5528 Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices 15 Loma Media Road 12-3pm $1,549,000 2bd/2ba Team Scarborough 331-1465 Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices

San Roque

4463 Meadowlark Lane 2-4pm $2,250,000 4bd/4.5ba Dianne Johnson 455-6570 Village Properties 3310 Los Pinos Drive 1-3pm $1,895,000 5bd/4ba Marta Weeks 689-0410 Village Properties 3069 Calle Fresno 1-4pm $1,395,000 4bd/2ba Laura Collector 451-2306 Sotheby’s International Realty 3945 Stacy Lane 1-4pm $1,299,000 4bd/2.5ba John Comin 689-3078 Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices 3765 Lincoln Road 1-4pm $1,195,000 3bd/2.5ba Cimme Eordanidis 722-8480 Village Properties 3617 San Remo Drive 12-4:30pm $760,000 3bd/2ba Ruth Martinez Infante 570-4646 Coldwell Banker 2621 State Street #4 1-4pm $675,000 2bd/2ba Thomas Schultheis 729-2802 Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices 4128 Via Andorra #D 1-4pm $489,900 2bd/2ba Doug Van Pelt 637-3684 Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices Westside 1609 Villa Avenue 12:30-4:30pm $739,000 2bd/1ba Gabe Venturelli 680-5141 Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices 1605 Villa Avenue 1-4pm $729,000 1bd/1ba Elizabeth Wagner 895-1467 Village Properties 407 West Pedregosa Street #21 1-4pm $649,000 3bd/2.5ba Lori Ebner 729-4861 Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices 335 West Islay Street 1-4pm $495,000 2bd/1ba Dick Davidson 452-3490 Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices Hope Ranch Area 4687 Via Roblada 1-3pm $2,995,000 4bd/3.5ba Ken Switzer 680-4622 Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices 975 Vista De La Mesa Drive 2-4pm $1,295,000 3bd/3ba George Lambert 729-4114 Sotheby’s International Realty 4638 Puente Plaza 1-4pm $1,100,000 4bd/2ba Toni Kiraly 689-7976 Village Properties 1412 Las Positas Place 12-3pm $897,000 3bd/2ba The Easter Team 570-0403 Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices Goleta 730 El Rodeo Road 1-3pm $1,549,000 4bd/2.5ba Barbara Green 452-9003 Sotheby’s International Realty 8433 Vereda Del Padre 12-3pm $1,388,000 4bd/3ba The Easter Team 570-0403 Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices 355 Oak View Lane 2-4pm $1,195,000 4bd/3ba Lenora Bradley 895-0102 Sotheby’s International Realty 20 Sanderling Lane 10-5pm $1,004,471 4bd/3.5ba Lorie F. Bartron 879-5017 Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices 50 Sanderling Lane 10-5pm $925,000 4bd/3.5ba Lorie F. Bartron879-5017 879-5017 Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices 40 Sanderling Lane 10-5pm $897,000 3bd/3.5ba Lorie F. Bartron879-5017 879-5017 Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices 492 Pacific Oaks Road 2-4pm $888,888 3bd/2ba Debra Stowers 570-8332 Sotheby’s International Realty 7900 Hollister Avenue 10-5pm $600,000 2bd/2ba Lorie F. Bartron879-5017 879-5017 Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices 7042 Marymount Way 1-3pm $495,000 2bd/1.5ba Jamie Jo Sim 689-5799 Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices 280 North Fairview Avenue #2 2-4pm $429,000 2bd/2ba Gail Pearl & Michael Pearl 637-9595 Sotheby’s International Realty 45 Dearborn Place #48 1-3pm $398,000 2bd/1ba Christina Ruelas 452-9931 Village Properties 357 Moreton Bay Lane #6 2-4pm $349,000 2bd/1.5ba Michael Pearl & Gail Pearl 637-6888 Sotheby’s International Realty

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NOTABLE OCEANFRONT ESTATE | WEB: 0592563 | $32,000,000 Michael Calcagno 805.896.0876, Nancy Hamilton 805.451.4442

JEWEL ON THE PACIFIC | WEB: 0592695 | $8,950,000 Adam McKaig 805.452.6884

ARTFUL ARCHITECTURE | WEB: 0113738 | $7,950,000 Suzanne Perkins 805.895.2138

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ENNISBROOK SPANISH-STYLE | WEB: 0113758 | $4,200,000 Harry Kolb 805.452.2500

DOWNTOWN PENTHOUSE | WEB: 0592634 | $1,795,000 Nancy Hamilton 805.451.4442, Michael Calcagno 805.896.0876

HILLTOP HACIENDA | WEB: 0113467 | $1,595,000 Suzanne Perkins 805.895.2138

MOUNTAIN VIEW HOME | WEB: 0632082 | $899,000 Maureen McDermut 805.570.5545, Peggy Olcese 805.895.6757

SPANISH-STYLE TOWNHOME | WEB: 0592708 | $810,000 Justin Corrado 805.451.9969, Evelyn Cavins 805.689.7785

WESTSIDE CHARMER | WEB: 0113741 | $699,000 Jennifer Berger 805.451.5484

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CAPE COD-STYLE FARMHOUSE | WEB: 0621537 | $2,175,000 Mary Ann Foss 805.455.1476

WOODSTOCK ARTIST RETREAT | WEB: 0621540 | $1,795,000 Patty Murphy 805.680.8571

ALISAL RANCH | WEB: 0621558 | $635,000 Susan Beckmann 805.245.8141

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