A Santa Barbara Baptism

MR. FIX IT

THE FIRST STEP TO SOLVING THESE THREE ETERNAL PROBLEMS IS ADMITTING THAT WE’LL NEVER SOLVE THESE THREE ETERNAL PROBLEMS, P. 14

A FOOD JOURNEY

HEALTH CONSCIOUS CANON PERDIDO INSTITUTION SOJOURNER CAFÉ DECKS ITS HALLS WITH BOWLS OF DAHL-Y, FA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA, P. 26

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once a week from pier to peak

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A SANTA BARBARA BAPTISM STAND UP PADDLEBOARD STAR JIM BREWER HAS A FUNK ZONE SHOP WHERE HE SLINGS SUP BOARDS AND GEAR, BUT HE’S ALSO AN INTERNATIONAL TRAVELER, PHOTOGRAPHER, DOCUMENTARY FILM PRODUCER AND ZEN MASTER PADDLER

photo by Lily Buckley

OUT OF THE (COMFORT) ZONE, PT. II

L

by

ast week, I went into the Funk Zone to get out of my comfort zone. The trip to Chris Bartl’s Bayside Barbell (Vol. 2, Issue 44) was exhausting and mildly humiliating (though, to be fair, that last part’s my own fault; no one forced me to provide an unnecessary backstory about how a kid with three limbs made the JV basketball team over me).

JEREMY HARBIN

8 DAYS A WEEK PAGE 10

PRESIDIOSPORTS PAGE 18

My time with Chris confirmed something I already knew: I’m out of shape. And it made me realize something I probably should have already known: I need to be engaging in physical activity with some real regularity so that I don’t cut my precious time here on earth any shorter than it needs to be.

But I wanted to see what else the south side neighborhood that this column takes as its subject might have to offer. So I called Jim ...continued p.5

TIME, TIDE & SURF PAGE 21

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Content COVER

In the Zone – Jeremy Harbin – still sore from the Chris Bartl experience last week – goes SUPing with Blueline’s Jim Brewer and discovers that one of Santa Barbara’s most treasured physical wonders, the ocean, isn’t nearly as bad as his pasty Georgian self thought it was. (Thanks Jim, you’ve accomplished what none of us could. We owe you one.)

P.6 P.7

It’s Crimetime – Fleeting attempts at humor involving crime and pop culture.

P.8

The Beer Guy – Zach Rosen explains wet hopping, dry humping and harvest brews. Wait, what’s that? Oh, sorry. Zach Rosen explains wet hopping, dry hopping and harvest brews.

(They are delicious and only available once or twice annually, so get some.)

P.10

Eight Days a Week – Jerry Herdin likes everybody’s favorite calendar writer, Jeremy Harbin, who, anecdotally, is hilarious. At this point, we 8Ders read the column as much for the wacky humor as we do to figure out what’s happening around town. Nice.

P.12

Santa Barbara View – Sharon Byrne on Santa Maria Energy’s drilling project and climate change; Ray Estrada on charity facials. (Ray also hits Startup Weekend and breaks 6th Annual Holiday Gift Boutique.)

P.14 P.18 P.22 P.24 P.25 P.26

The Weekly Capitalist – Jeff Harding is tired of political promises to “solve” longstanding – and wholly unsolvable – social “problems.” (Thanks Jeff, smart column.)

Letters – Grunion mating habits; superbugs; Mac McGill is reasonable(!); SBA is U-G-L-Y; gang injunction fight; grammatical errors is problematic; Crimetime is funny (maybe); Matt’s a reincarnated seabird. Whatever.

Presidio Sports – Local sports and scores from the folks who know. Athletes of the Week too!

Carpinteria Merchants Holiday Guide – Ah… Carpinteria Merchants Holiday Guide.

Man About Town – Mark Léisuré likes SOhO. He goes there. A lot.

Calle Real Holiday Shopping Guide – Yeah, ah… Calle Real Holiday Shopping Guide.

Cut.Chew.Eat.Repeat. – Newbie Jaquelyn De Longe hits the Soj and talks with Donna Mudge. The column made us want to hit the Soj. So we’re printing it. (The only downside is that EIC Matt hasn’t stopped talking about his time in Nepal and India and love for Dahl Bhat. We get it. You’ve traveled. You like Dahl Bhat. The Soj makes a delicious Dahl Bhat.

Enough already.)

P.29

Pump It – San Roque Jay and Bestside Bonnie schtart the Schentinel Schporschorschip.

Will they schurvive? And Jenny’s nutrition tip and workout will make you healthier, so go read them. And they employ them in your life.

P.31

American Girl – Tommie Vaughn is reasonably new to Santa Barbara, and she’s totally new to the Sentinel. Here she talks about life, Stone Cold Fox and Angel in Montecito. But she’s going to talk about lots of random things in her new column. This is only the start. (We’re excited, Tommie.)

P.32 P.34

Stylin’ & Profilin’ – Onward Art & Design’s grand opening. And champagne. And Megan Waldrep. Fun times.

P.35 P.37 P.38

P.39 Stuart R. Winthrop, M.D., F.A.C.S. P.40 805.730.9111 • www.seewinthrop.com P.42

Mad Science – Rachelle Oldmixon responds to Briana Westmacott’s question about memories. (Terrific piece, Rachelle, really enjoyed it. Wonder if we’ll remember it in ten years?)

Howlin’ at the Moon – Joseph Timmons – Xombiewoof – likes the Santa Maria Phil. Didn’t know about the SMP? Now you do.

Keepin’ It Reel – Jim likes movies. Jim likes writing. Jim likes writing about movies. Read Jim’s writing about movies. Laugh. Ha. Ha. Ha. You Have Your Hands Full – Mara Peters is living the dream with kids and friends from the block everywhere; a far cry from life on the northern California farm she grew up on.

(Thanks Mara, enjoyed it as always.)

Santa Barbara Skinny – The Santa Barbara Skinny. That says it all, doesn’t it? And the Weekend Guide. That sort of says it all too.

John’s Take – Local architect-cum-citizen actor John Kelley makes the case for a revenueneutral carbon tax. We dare you to disagree.

Girl About Town – Julie Bifano hit the El Montecito fundraiser a couple weeks and had a jolly good time. For Mother England.

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INtheZONE ZONE ...continued from COVER

Jim Brewer is the proprietor of Blueline at 24 East Mason Street in Santa Barbara’s Funk Zone.

like Colombia and Sri Lanka, and because a paddleboard can work like a kayak, he can go farther inland, where all sorts of wildlife like elephants and crocodiles hang out, which is great for photos. And since the pictures from every trip he goes on generate so much interest from publishers, paddlers and everybody else,

Though the sport grew in popularity unprecedentedly fast (and is still growing), “it’s here to stay,” Jim says.

he thought he and his friends should start filming their exotic trips. That led to the documentary he produced, Driftwood, which premiered at the Lobero as part of the 2013 Santa Barbara International

Film Festival.

It runs in the family. Jim came here from San Diego in 1975 when his father took a job with Ernest Brooks making underwater films. The film studio was just a block over from Jim’s shop, where Municipal now pours wine, and that’s where he went to work at his first job, cleaning the place up. He later shaped and glassed surf boards in a space just a couple of blocks away. He wasn’t set on the area for Blueline’s location, but the unit was available, and it worked out, making Jim a true Funk Zone mainstay: “By coincidence, I’ve been hanging out in this little two-block area basically since 1975,” he says.

In 2005, he saw his first paddleboard on the beach here. Someone had picked ...continued p.20

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There were just two things to remember: Breathe and don’t look down.

How hard could it be?

with JEREMY HARBIN photos by LILY BUCKLEY

Brewer at Blueline Stand Up Paddle Surf.

Jim’s something of a paddleboarding celebrity. When industry magazines (and all kinds of non-paddleboarding mags, for that matter) aren’t writing about him, he’s supplying photos for their covers. He goes out on SUPing expeditions to places

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It'sCrimetime... ...with the SBPD

A variety of crimes are committed every day in Santa Barbara; most of these crimes are petty but they do offer a window into if not the soul of the perpetrator, at least his or her thought process. Our following (and totally unsolicited) thoughts, observations and comments are put forth for your consideration.

An Unholy Trinity

A

n extremely intoxicated 59-year-old homeless man was arrested for public drunkenness right around noon one day last week after he was reportedly “yelling outside a school, next to a church, wearing no pants.”

Yeah, sure, he went to jail. But he’s got bigger problems than that.

Like, uh, a very real possibility of being tossed into the burning pits of hell.

Vicious Movie-Monster on the Loose in Town A 37-year-old transient man called 911 on himself at 2:30pm one otherwise ordinary afternoon last week. When SBPD arrived, he was “fidgety and couldn’t sit still.“ Then he told officers he needed medical attention for the “cuts on his chest,” which magically disappeared when he lifted his shirt for paramedics. Then the man told the gathering crowd of first responders that he had been attacked by a “predator” from the movie Alien vs. Predator.

Quickly calling upon years of training and instinct gleaned from the harsh streets of Santa Barbara, officers began to suspect that the man was under the influence of a controlled substance.

He was. Methamphetamines, regular amphetamines, cannabinoids. Et cetera.

Local law enforcement officials declined comment on the potential whereabouts of the “predator,” saying only that it is armed and quite dangerous and that SBPD should be contacted immediately if it is seen strolling State Street.

Remain vigilant, Santa Barbara.

And just in case you’re wondering, no, this wasn’t a younger Billy Baldwin waiting for Jennifer Jason Leigh in Backdraft. (At least we don’t think it was.)

An Exorcism of a Different Sort A 24-year-old Santa Barbara man was spotted by SBPD late one night last week slouched over on a downtown sidewalk, generally not appearing to be faring very well.

When officers approached, the man became “verbally aggressive,” spewing forth a crescendo of profane and abusive language capped by a fit of projectile vomiting that rivaled poor Regan MacNeil in 1973’s The Exorcist.

Anecdotally, isn’t the act of vomiting really the purest form of “verbal aggression?”

You can yell and scream at people all you want but vomiting on them, well, that’s really saying something.

Where were we?

Oh yes, demonic projective vomiting.

The rather unfortunate young soul was detained for public intoxication. We can only assume that the jailhouse experience helped him exorcise the booze demon that had firmly taken root.

Man Threatens to Kill People And Urinates On State Street SBPD responded to a report of an 18-year-old transient male screaming profanities and threatening to kill passersby in front of a local movie theater just after a film got out around 10:30pm.

Hey honey! Let’s do dinner and movie tonight.

Separately, a nearby citizen who witnessed the bizarre behavior reported that the youngster had “urinated on his business earlier.”

We can only assume that the term “business,” in this case, was used to describe a building or some other physical structure embodying an actual business. Because if it were used colloquially, as in the man had urinated on someone’s “junk” or “package,” well, let’s just say that would likely lead to a broader investigation.

In any event, the screaming, urinating antagonist was arrested on a smorgasbord of charges. Blah blah blah.

Billy, Is That You?

Exorcise the Demon

Local firefighters were surprised to find a drunken 21-year-old Santa Barbara man sleeping in the tiller of their fire engine when they awoke and prepared to respond to a call of smoke at a local grocery store last week at around 1am.

“Surprised” might be the understatement of the year.

It was not surprising, however, that the man was, ah, disoriented, and didn’t seem to know that he was in a fire truck. In a fire station. In Santa Barbara.

We’re sure the firefighters let him know all about it before he was arrested for all sorts of stuff.

A drunken 26-year-old was seen sitting on the ground in the middle of a gas station and vomiting all over himself just after 2am. When officers questioned him, the man didn’t know where he was and couldn’t answer questions.

Sounds like a job for Father Lankester Merrin.

(Get it? Lots of movie stuff in here this week. Maybe too much.)

Publisher • Tim Buckley | Editor-in-Chief • Matt Mazza Design/Production • Trent Watanabe Contributing Partners Opinion • sbview.com | Sports • Presidiosports.com Santa Barbara Skinny • SantaBarbaraSkinny.com Columnists Shop Girl • Kateri Wozny | You Have Your Hands Full • Mara Peters Plan B • Briana Westmacott | The Dish • Wendy Jenson Journal Jim • James Buckley | Real Estate • Michael Calcagno Commercial Corner • Austin Herlihy | The Weekly Capitalist • Jeff Harding Man About Town • Mark Leisure | In The Garden • Randy Arnowitz The Beer Guy • Zach Rosen | The Mindful Word • Diana M. Raab Girl About Town • Julie Bifano | In The Zone • Jeremy Harbin Mad Science • Rachelle Oldmixon | Keepin’ It Reel • Jim Luksic Pump It • Jenny Schatzle | Faces Of Santa Barbara • Patricia Clarke Photographer • Wendi Mazza | Stylin’ & Profilin’ • Megan Waldrep Howlin’ at the Moon • Joseph Timmons | Food File • Christina Enoch Advertising/Sales Tanis Nelson 805.689.0304 • tanis@santabarbarasentinel.com Sue Brooks 805.455.9116 • sue@santabarbarasentinel.com Judson Bardwell 619.379.1506 • judson@santabarbarasentinel.com Published by SB Sentinel, LLC PRINTED BY NPCP INC., SANTA BARBARA, CA Santa Barbara Sentinel is compiled every Friday 133 EAST DE LA GUERRA STREET, #182, Santa Barbara 93101 How to reach us: 805.845.1673 • E-MAIL: matt@santabarbarasentinel.com

Dumb and Dumber Two men live aboard separate boats in the Winter Anchorage off of East Beach. One afternoon, around 2pm, the first man asks the second to help him fix some electrical problems on his vessel. The second man agrees, so the first motors over on his dinghy, picks up the second, and returns to his boat so the repairing can begin.

The electrical work is successfully completed twenty minutes later. But as the first man thanks the second and they pull away in the dinghy, the second man freaks out and threatens to beat the first senseless.

Then he does, with a wooden oar, opening up a couple reasonably large head wounds.

Thankfully, another nearby boat-dweller saw the whole scene unfold and reported everything to the cops. They responded quickly and arrested the second man for assault with a deadly (boating) weapon.

Can’t you just see this playing out between Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels in a somewhat more violent version of Dumb and Dumber? We can.

And we think it’s funny, damnit.

A Silver Lining A 22-year-old Santa Barbara woman was escorted out of a local nightclub for being too intoxicated to care for herself late one night last week. She remembered her name when officers asked, but couldn’t remember anything beyond the numerical portion of her street address.

She did not projectile vomit.

There was thus no need for an exorcism.

So there’s that.

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Letters

Although you might not believe it, we actually want to hear from you. So if you have something you think we should know about or you see something we've said that you think is cretinous (or perspicacious, to be fair), then let us know. There's no limit on words or subject matter, so go ahead and let it rip to: Santa Barbara Sentinel, Letters to the Editor, 133 East De La Guerra Street, No. 182, Santa Barbara, California 93101. You can also leap into the 21st century and email us at letters@santabarbarasentinel.com.

On Grunion Rugby, Indiscriminate Mating Habits and Lusty Male Ballads

H

i Matt, I am getting tons of comments on your article – The Legend Continues (Vol. 2, Issue 42) – and, as opposed to my other ventures in public exposure, they have all been very positive.

I loved the recent article on the Grunions (A Gentleman’s Game, Vol. 2, Issue 43). I didn’t make the team photo but, yes, those are my teammates from the very first squad in ‘78. I can name every one of those reprobates, both dead and living.

I was indeed a charter member of that club, late of the Gauchos and another alumni club known as the Old Bolts that only played tournament rugby. Many of the guys in the photo are former Gaucho football players as well. In fact, the remnants of the last D-1 Gaucho football team were the foundation of our rugby club.

While we did, in fact, have some solid athletes, we were more known for our singing than our accomplishments on the pitch. We had a mixed won/lost record, but were undefeated in the post-game parties. I had come back from a long sailing voyage after my college years and was enticed, sans training, to go out for this first team, so named because of our stealthy approach to the shore under cover of darkness and indiscriminate mating habits.

I lasted for about 3/4 of the first game when, on an outside feed, I put on my patented “inside-out” move, which my opponent patiently waited for me to complete before he planted me like a tulip. It turns out that I tore my gluteus maximus, turning a rather generous portion of my body black and affecting my lifestyle in unanticipated fashion. I retired immediately, only to appear in later years in very humbling cameo appearances in uniform. I retain, however, my ability to lead a group of men in lusty ballad when adequate carbonated lubrication is applied to any given gathering.

Rugby is indeed a ruffian’s game played

by gentlemen, the precise opposite of soccer. The camaraderie is unmatched in sport and it remains as fun and satisfying a group endeavor as one can ever participate in. I give you credit for putting on the boots and giving it a go. I question your cognitive abilities if you choose to repeat the experience.

In any case, thank you for conjuring up some great memories of some fantastic times.

Randy Rowse Santa Barbara (Editor’s Note: This is one of my favorite letters to date, Randy, I laughed loud and hard enough to wake my wife up in the next room and spill a half-glass of red wine all over myself. Stealthy approach to shore and indiscriminate mating habits. A torn gluteus maximus. Lusty all-male ballads.

Comedic gold, my friend, all of it. I don’t know, maybe it’s just a Gaucho thing.

Anyway, Randy, I’m happy you enjoyed the Grunion story and are still getting some positive feedback on the Paradise Café column too. Please keep reading, and feel free to write in anytime. See you for a Paradise Margarita soon. – MSM)

A Point of Clarification I want to clarify one point in Heal the Ocean Executive Director Hillary Hauser’s letter to the editor (Rest Easy, Santa Barbara: There Aren’t Any Antibiotic Resistant Superbugs In Our Water Supply, Vol. 2, Issue 44). Her letter says that the City is not currently producing recycled water.

The City’s plant is currently producing recycled water; however we are in the final design to replace the existing plant with a different treatment technology. One of the primary drivers for the replacement is the current need to blend the recycled water with 70-80% potable water for water quality reasons. The new treatment technology will produce recycled water that significantly reduces and potentially will eliminate the need to blend potable ...continued p.16 Reserve Corks n’ Crowns now for your private party, corporate gathering, and holiday events, featuring a fireplace and wraparound patio!

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by Zach Rosen

Hop Harvest Brews: Slippery When Wet

Zach Rosen is a Certified Cicerone® and beer educator living in Santa Barbara. He uses his background in chemical engineering and the arts to seek out abstract expressions of beer and discover how beer pairs with life.

The hop kiln: Aromatic waves at an alien ocean.

(Or something like that.)

H

arvest season is almost over, which means to most people that vintners are busy getting wine grapes off the vines and ultimately into wine barrels. In the beer world, however, this is when we see the arrival of the hop crop, and with the hop harvest each year comes that special moment that every

self-respecting beer lover craves.

The release of the wet hopped beers.

First, some background. The hop plant is a perennial climbing vine responsible not only for the bitterness but also for many of the floral, fruity and spicy flavors found in beer. On the farm, hops are grown in rows and fed

along a trellis system 18 – 24 feet above the ground. In brewing, only the cones from the plant are used, and they need to be separated from the vine and leaves.

It is an incredible sight to be on a hop farm during harvest. The vines are usually cut three feet above the ground.

When harvesting trucks are used, they creep along the field like a snail out for a stroll. From here the vines go to a picking machine that separates the cones from the other plant matter.

This can be done in the field by a hop harvesting combine truck, or it can be done in a processing facility where a stationary picking machine is ready to accept the harvest.

In the facility, each vine is lifted by one end and fed into the picking machine. The sinewy strands of hops rise over ten feet above the floor as

Hop waterfall. Is there any better kind?

they move quickly through the room.

The vines look as if they have learned synchronized swimming, swirling and swaying along their path in a concerted fashion.

Once the cones have been separated from the other plant matter in the picking machine, they go through a series of air blowers and conveyors that remove any dirt, pebbles and other unwanted debris. Standing alongside this massive machine as you admire the cones bouncing along the cascade of conveyors is as exhilarating as standing

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Harvest Ale at The Brewhouse. It’s a treat and it’s only once a year… now!

on the edge of a waterfall.

A waterfall constructed from the raw ingredients that make beloved beer.

The hop cones are then sent to a kiln where they are dried with hot air. As you stand next to the hop kiln, heat radiates off the bed with the ferocity of a sun striking the white sands of an exotic beach. Waves of aroma crash around you and the sea of green appears to be an alien ocean. The sights and smells draw you toward the edge with the persuasiveness of a siren.

Oh yeah. I’m working up a thirst here.

The hop kiln lowers the moisture content, which, in turn, helps reduce mold and staling during storage. From there the hops are allowed to cool before being packed into large bales and moved into storage. The bittering acids of hops react with light so the cones are best stored in a dark room with UVprotective materials. As hops are stored, the bittering acids also degrade, forming compounds with a harsher bitterness that lingers on the palate longer. To reduce the rate of degradation, hops are stored as cool as possible. On average, most hop varieties, when properly stored, can be aged for one or two years before their quality becomes compromised.

Ok, I can’t take it anymore.

Let’s get to some beer.

Wet Can Be Dry

Each year a small part of the hop harvest is kept in its wet form. The hops are said to still be wet when they are first picked off the vine and have not yet been dried in the hop kiln. The aromatic characteristics of hops change during storage and a small amount of aging is required to ripen the aroma.

When wet hops are used in the brewing process, they add a unique flavor to the beer. The aroma is rawer and is usually described as grassy or “green” with what seems to be a fresher, louder flavor.

Since wet hops have a high moisture content, they need to be used immediately or they will become moldy. This means that wet hopped beers can only be made during harvest time, which occurs up to twice a year. Typically there is only one

harvest annually but the harvest time is different in the northern and southern hemispheres. (Sierra Nevada Brewing Co. actually produces two wet hop beers, a Northern Hemisphere Harvest Ale and a Southern Hemisphere Harvest Ale).

I’ve spoken with brewers who will actually get the brewing vessels fired up while the hops are still being picked.

The farmer will drive them directly to the brewery where they will go straight into the boiling kettle, keeping the hops as fresh as they possibly can be.

Anecdotally, you may have heard the term “dry hopping.” (Not dry humping. Dry hopping.) Dry hopping refers to a process – not to the moisture content of the hops themselves – where hops are added into the fermenter with the unfinished beer, contributing an extra dose of aroma to the brew. In other words, dry hopping does not necessarily mean that hops in their dried form are being used in the dry hopping process. And yes, wet hops can be used to dry hop a beer.

Confused yet?

Harvest Time at The Brewhouse Walk around The Brewhouse property during the summer and you may spy some of the swirling spires of hops in their back lot. The original hop plant was given to The Brewhouse

by Doug Jones, a local homebrewer.

The exact varietal of hop is unknown so the brewers now refer to it as Goleta Golden. One of the homebrewers also planted some of the hops on the campus of Santa Barbara City College.

During harvest season each year, brewers Pete Johnson and Casey Smith will pick the cones from SBCC’s campus and their own property to produce The Brewhouse’s Harvest Ale. This is considered a wet hop beer since the hops are not dried before being used. The hops from SBCC were added as the wort (unfermented beer) was leaving the boiling kettle in a small

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vessel called a hop back. The cones are packed into the hop back like treasure in a chest and the wort runs through the bed of hops, extracting their aromas. As the beer was getting finished in the fermenter, the wet hops from The Brewhouse property were used to dry hop the beer.

The end result is an amber brew with 5.3% ABV. The Harvest Ale has a full, sweet, citric aroma with a grassy undertone. The hops have some of the grapefruit/orange character associated with American hops

9

but are far less aggressive than traditional varieties. The beer has a good maltiness accented by caramel and honey flavors with a fairly light body.

Hops this fresh only come once a year, everybody, and, at The Brewhouse, you can try a terrific locally produced wet hopped brew that really reflects Santa Barbara’s unique terroir.

So make sure to swing by The Brewhouse and sample their Harvest Ale before it’s gone.

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W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

8•Days• a•Week We Ain’t Got Nothin’ But Love, Babe…

by Jeremy Harbin

Want to be a part of Eight Days A Week?

Space is limited, but if you have an event, exhibit, performance, book signing, sale, opening, trunk show or anything else interesting or creative that readers can attend, let us know at 805-845-1673 or email us at tim@santabarbarasentinel.com. We’ll consider all suggestions, but we will give extra consideration to unusual events and/or items, especially those accompanied by a good visual, particularly those that have yet to be published.

Friday November 22 Letters

Though this column generates a large amount of appreciation postcards and emails from fans – who call themselves 8ers – you won’t find those notes in the Letters section of this paper. The thinking is that the sheer volume would overshadow other issues, and that since they’re so consistent, that they would get old if printed week after week (“Hilarious,” “Insightful,” “You saved my life”… blah blah, we get it, right?). So, we print just one for you here to begin this eight-day week: Dear everyone’s favorite calendar writer, You’re the best man. We 8ers don’t care that everybody says you take way too long to get around to the point. It’s the stuff in between the entries that really makes 8 Days what it is. You are truly the John Coltrane of calendar writing. Anyways, I really think your readers should know about an art show at Roy (7 West Carrillo) that started yesterday but continues today, from 7 to 10pm. It’s art by the assemblage artist Dan Levin, who is really awesome, and whose stuff is really interesting. The show is called Objects of Curiosity Art [Trunk] Show. Check out danlevin.com for more, and flip over to page 33 for a picture of Dan with one of his pieces.

Thanks!

Jerry Herdin Thanks for the note, Jerry. Pretty spooky that you knew what page that picture of Dan is on though.

Let’s move on!

Saturday November 23 If You Must

Enough with the mustaches, everybody. Seriously, that sh** is played. Stop wearing them on t-shirts.

Stop holding them up to your face in photo booths. For goodness’ sake, keep them off your pint glasses and stationary. And, most importantly, if you’re going to actually grow one, do us all the nicety of fully committing to your mustache – the wackier the better – as a lifestyle: get full sleeves, learn to make pre-prohibition era “craft” cocktails and get a job as a barista. Whatever. If you must continue with the mustache play, however, you better make sure it’s for charity. Tonight, Night Out, Inc. is throwing a beer crawl to benefit the Movember Foundation, a charity that raises awareness of prostate and testicular cancer. It’s like any other beer crawl, except it’s mustache-themed and participants are required to sport a real or fake mustache. It starts at 3pm and will stop at five locations, including James Joyce, Eureka and Santa Barbara Brewing Company. Get your $25 to $30 tickets at movember-crawl.nightout.com.

Sunday November 24

Mo’ Mozart, No Problems

Some Sundays we just gots to get our Mozart on, know what I’m sayin’? Me either. But hey, sometime you try out a new thing and it just doesn’t work for you. That’s life. That’s how you grow

1431 San Andres Street

(something we’ve all done a little bit of today, wouldn’t you say?). So speaking of personal growth, the Santa Barbara Symphony presents All Mozart with Matthias Bamert today from 3 to 5pm at the Granada Theatre (1214 State Street).

Guest conductor Bamert will conduct a day of Mozart and only Mozart: Serenades no. 10 and no. 13, followed by Symphony No. 25. This program also played last night at 8pm. Tickets start at $35; get them at thesymphony.org or by calling 805.898.9386.

No Spoilers

If you love shows about paranoid jazz aficionados (we’ve only seen the first episode), then you probably love Homeland.

Gideon Raff, the creator, writer and director of the Israeli show that Homeland is based on will appear today in UCSB’s Campbell Hall. Starting at 3pm, he’ll play clips and discuss the show. It’s free to attend.

Monday November 25

Chicken Before Turkey

It’s that time again, everybody: Fourth Monday. Seems like it was just here. Well, we’re hungry for that open-on-Mondays goodness. And we’re oh-so excited to patronize a restaurant that’s stayed open today despite pressure from Big Restaurant to close until Tuesday. This time around, it’s got to be Santa Barbara Chicken Ranch at 2618 De La Vina Street. They’re open seven days a week from 11am to 10pm, and serve up Mexican-style BBQ that’ll make you wish there was an extra day in the week so you could eat there eight times. OH WAIT!

Tuesday November 26

Oh, Brother(ly love)

A “Holiday Tree.” This calendar writer, a “progressive” in all the right ways, just like you, thinks that the people insisting there’s a “War on Christmas” are crazy, that anyone who would deprive another of their non-Christmas fun can go get scrooged and that the more inclusive the season, the better. Why not? But there’s inclusivity, and then there’s political correctness gone mad (to borrow a phrase from Mark Corrigan). Sorry folks, but if you’re on State Street today from 8:30 am to 10 am, that’s a Christmas Tree you’re watching get installed, not a holiday tree, like some might have you believe. The official lighting of the tree will take place at the start of the December 6 Downtown Holiday Parade (which has a title that makes sense because parades aren’t singularly identified with any one holiday, LIKE TREES WITH LIGHTS AND DECORATIONS ARE), which will be grand marshaled

by Michael Imperioli. (Hey, that could be a great tequila commercial: “Whatever happened to Christmas trees?”) For more information, go to santabarbaradowntown.com or call 805.962.2098.

Wednesday November 27 MmmTurkey

Arlo tried, but thanksgiving as a musical genre never really took off. It’s always been overshadowed, of course, by you-know-what other kind of music that’s already playing in department stores near you. Maybe the Hansen Family can change that. They’re back at the SOhO Restaurant and Music Club (1221 State Street) for their annual Thanksgiving Songfest. Everyone’s invited to watch or jam with the Hansen friends and family. Doors are at 6pm; music starts up at 6:30 or 7. It’s free.

Happy Hanukkah ✡

BoHenry’s www.bohenry.com

Thursday November 28 Gobble Gobble

It’s Thanksgiving, you bunch of turkeys. So you know what to do: Gather your family. Hope someone planned ahead and cooked up a bird with all the fixin’s. Watch the last season of Eastbound and Down and laugh at how Kenny Powers pronounces the word “fixin’s.” Oh wait, you have to watch football on Turkey Day. What were you thinking? There’s no cable allowed on Turkey Day (we

L

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call it that so as not to offend people that don’t believe in the concept of gratitude). Okay, so let’s just say you don’t want to deal with all the cooking and football and having to explain to your aunt what it is exactly that you do there on your phone all the time. The Harbor Restaurant on Stearns Wharf has you covered. They’re got traditional Thanksgiving buffet – that’s the best kind, folks – that they’re serving from noon to 8pm. Sounds like lunch and dinner’s at the Harbor. Call them for a reservation at 805.963.3311. See their website at sbharbor.com.

Smashing Pumpkins

And making a late entry into this eight-day calendar is the Santa Barbara Zoo’s weird (in a good way, you guys) thing they’re doing today. Okay, get ready for this. You got your helmet on? Are you strapped in? They’re gonna give pumpkins to the animals!

And turkeys to the lions! For fun!

Apparently, some of the elephants just smash their pumpkins! And they give them to the turkeys to peck at! Sorry for the exclamation points, but this might be the craziest event this calendar’s seen yet. Who doesn’t want to see an elephant smashing its pumpkin just for the sake of seeing an elephant smashing its pumpkin!? This one really makes you wonder which is more wild, the animals or their keepers, right? RIGHT!? They’re open from 10am to 3:30pm. Find the Zoo at 500 Niños Drive.

Tickets sold until 2pm.

Friday

• Ex

erie

he B nce t

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Take it easy today. You earned it. Actually, on second thought, you really only ate a lot of food. It’s not really an achievement. Ah well, sit back anyway and think about everything you’re thankful for.

Or be in line at some big box store at 4am to buy a desktop computer and an Android phone for $65.

Your call, big guy.

Until next time – everybody in unison now – “tell ‘em 8 Days sent ya!”

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12 | N OV E M B E R

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W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

Santa Barbara’s Online Magazine, Published Twice Daily

sbview.com

Thinking Globally, Acting Locally…

And Maybe Vice Versa

by Sharon Byrne

I

’ve been reading the various news and opinion pieces on the Board of Supervisor’s vote last week on the Santa Maria Energy Project. It seemed to boil down to jobs vs. the environment, and south county vs. north. The winner was environmental noblesse.

I have no dog in this fight. I don’t know with 100% absolute certainty that global warming is happening exactly as purported, despite having read a lot and viewed more than my share of documentary films on the subject. There’s just an awful lot of threshing going on over it all. Against that larger backdrop, the arguments on the local scene with respect to Santa Maria Energy’s proposed drilling project are, as best as I can distill them: FOR: It would produce 3,300 barrels of oil a day. It would create an estimated 50-75 jobs. It would pump $3 million per year into county property tax revenues, and $170 million into the county’s economy.

According to the UCSB Economic Forecast Project, real GDP for Santa Barbara County is just shy of $18b. So this project would represent theoretically

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a gain of around 1%. The property tax gain would amount to about ½% increase for the county coffers.

The price of oil is hovering around the $90-100 per barrel mark. So this project could generate up to $300,000 in revenues per day +/-.

The oil industry produces enormous revenues, but requires massive capital investment, an extremely steep pyramidslope few companies can climb. Profit margins are less than spectacular. Exxon’s profit margin this quarter was 7%, while Royal Dutch Shell’s was 3.95%, both major global players. Average profit margins for this industry are 7-8%. That means for every dollar they take in from sales, after production expenses, taxes, interest, et al, they make about $.07 in profit. Santa Maria Energy’s profit margin is 7.5%.

Bob Poole, Santa Maria Energy’s public and government affairs manager, said that by contrast, Apple’s profit margin is 20%, and numerous financial media sources verify that number.

And oil extraction creates emissions, in this case estimated to be 88,000 metric tons annually, the crux of the issue. The State called for a 16% reduction in that number. Santa Maria Energy offered

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Sharon Byrne

Sharon Byrne is executive director for the Milpas Community Association, and currently serves on the Advisory Boards for the Salvation Army Hospitality House and Santa Barbara County Alcohol and Drug Problems.

sbview.com “While trying to reduce global warming from Santa Barbara County is a noble aspiration, there are some seriously bigger fish to fry on this front.”

29%, to 62,000 metric tons. The County Planning Commission approved the project.

AGAINST the project, or rather, FOR very stringent emissions standards: In this corner, EDC insisted that even compliance with reduced emissions agreed to by the Planning Commission was not enough because these emissions are equivalent to an additional 17,000 cars on the road. The EDC wanted the county to impose a flat 10,000 metric tons, a reduction of nearly 90%. The EDC felt the company could easily afford to do that for about $1 a barrel.

The supervisors voted to impose the 10,000 metric ton threshold. Santa Maria Energy can go ahead with the project, and try to meet this threshold, or fork over up to $500,000 per year when they don’t.

Thus, this is more symbolic than anything.

While trying to reduce global warming from Santa Barbara County is a noble aspiration, there are some seriously bigger fish to fry on this front.

Stephanie Ewing, then a researcher at Berkeley, found in 2010 that 29% of San Francisco’s particulate smog is coming from eastern Asia, carried across the Pacific by Chinese dust storms. Beijing smog also drifts to L.A., which is but 90 miles south of us. Surely Santa Barbara is not magically shielded from this pollution drift? Beijing has 5,000,000 registered cars, and the Chinese demand for oil is seemingly insatiable.

by Ray Estrada

Ray Estrada is a writer, editor and media consultant who has worked for newspapers, radio news, wire services and online publications for the past 40 years. He has taught journalism at the University of Southern California and now runs his own consulting business based in Santa Barbara.

sbview.com

The industrial revolution started in Britain around 1780 and spread to the US in 1820-1830. Asia is now fully engaged in it, and with nearly 3 billion people between Pakistan, India and China (nearly 10 times the U.S. population), they’ll have the biggest impact yet.

Jerry Brown went to China in April to encourage them to reduce their smog, and help them embrace electric cars and other routes to cleaner air.

California has been embroiled in a 35year struggle to find a path to cleaner air and is a recognized leader in this front. But it’s come at a cost: increased regulatory burdens on business, loss of jobs and increased cost of living. There is no doubt that we face an ongoing problem, navigated by various players in various ways, of balancing the advancement and prosperity that industrialization brings with the environmental concerns it generates. A car in Beijing is a small comfort when you can’t breathe the air.

But is this decision by Santa Barbara County really going to shift things appreciably on the global front? The county’s decision was to prevent the equivalent of 17,000 additional cars on the road in emissions output. But maybe someone should worry about the emissions output drifting in from across the ocean.

Conducting that dialogue, and others like it, on the international stage will no doubt prove quite interesting.

Business Beat

by Ray Estrada

Spa to Donate Facial Proceeds to Help S.B. Woman Battling Cancer

S

anta Barbara-based Forever Beautiful Spa, 3530 State Street, is donating all of its proceeds from facials to Valerie Burns, a Santa Barbara resident who is fighting cancer.

“Just one facial a day can raise $11,000 for Valerie,” said licensed esthetician and spa owner Stephanie Gombrelli. “Why not look and feel good while doing something good for a friend or neighbor?”

The $80 facials to fight cancer was an idea Gombrelli thought up. The goal is to raise $11,000 before May 2014. “Giving locally is my favorite way to connect with my community because of the magnificent power of a collective intention,” the spa

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owner said. “A difference is always made by participation; if you vote, you should donate.”

Founded by Katie Gilbert, Jackie Ruka and Tara Rosier-Gonyeathe, the Valerie Burns support efforts have raised more than $10,000 of the $60,000 goal through the website www. youcaring.com/medical-fundraiser/ valerie-burns-will-be-a-breast-cancersurvivor/81082.

The website describes Burns, her history, her passions and her need for help. She is a style and image consultant.

Forever Beautiful Spa offers a variety of spa services including facials, reflexology, eyelash extensions, makeover makeup and wellness information. Gombrelli said she hopes to inspire others to develop “100% Donation” campaigns that will benefit someone they know.

For more information, contact Gombrelli at (805) 637-3711 or Stephanie@ForeverBeautifulSpa.com.

Movers, Shakers Take Home Startup Weekend Top Prizes

R

esults of the third Startup Weekend Santa Barbara show that the first place prize went to a company called Next Mover, which is a system for helping residents find the best way to transport their belongings when they move their residence or business.

About 135 entrepreneurs gathered over the weekend mostly at Workzones in Paseo Nuevo to put their heads together for 54 hours and come up with winning ideas for new businesses.

Second place was won by a startup called Gear Up, which helps outdoor enthusiasts find the right equipment at a good price for hiking, camping, diving and other activities.

The Best Physical Product prize went to Touchstone, which is a small stone-like gadget that pairs off with a mobile device application to send messages between users. Touchstone also won the Most Crowd Fundable prize.

The Crowd Favorite prize went to My Parking Spot, which is a system of finding people who are willing to rent parking spaces for events and other uses.

The Most Hustle prize went to My Custom Cookie, which uses 3-dimensional imagery to make personalized custom cookie cutters.

The third Startup Weekend in Santa Barbara started with a festive session at the new Avelina Wine Co. in the Funk Zone.

Entrepreneurs mingled with mentors and judges to whom they discussed and pitched their ideas during the weekend.

Two sessions of Startup Weekend Santa Barbara were organized last year.

Startup Weekend is an international phenomenon aimed at bringing together minds that are eager to start new businesses.

Exhibitors Named at 6th Annual Holiday Gift Boutique

E

xhibitors have been named for the sixth annual Holiday Gift Boutique at the Massage Gallery, 1506 Chapala St., from 11am to 5pm this Saturday, said organizer and company owner Michelle Silva.

Featuring the works of South Coast artists and crafters as well as live music, the gift boutique also will take place from 11am to 5pm Dec. 7 and 14, with free public admission on all three days, Silva said. Raffles will be held each Saturday to benefit Girls Inc. of Greater Santa

Barbara and other charities.

The exhibitors for the first Saturday include: surf artist Laura Goe; Chris Melton, pastry chef and former owner of Mimosa Restaurant and now of Epicuran O, which makes jams, preserves and candies; Linda Davis of Humming Bead Jewelry, who remakes old pieces into fresh new jewelry designs; Annie Scott of Winky’s Whittles, which makes wooden peg dolls and bunting banners; Doreen Lobo-Wilfing, who makes jewelry; Vanessa Prince, who markets Nirium skin-care gift baskets; Jeannie Thomas of DuFont Kitchens, who makes gourmet biscotti; Martine DuPuch; who

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13

makes hand-painted silk scarves and wall hangings, beeswax candles from local hives and handmade jewelry; and Carla Harris, who makes calligraphy cards for all occasions.

The artwork and crafts will be displayed outside and inside the Massage Gallery building. About 16 artists and crafters have displayed their works at previous boutiques, but more are being sought this year because of the addition of the third Saturday, Silva said. However, exhibitor space for the second and third Saturdays has already been filled. For more information, see www.themassagegallery. com.

14 | N OV E M B E R

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W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

The Weekly Capitalist

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by Jeff Harding

Jeff Harding publishes The Daily Capitalist, a blog on economics and finance. He is the president of Montecito Analytics, LLC, and is a real estate investor who lives in Montecito.

Why Do We Keep Trying to Fix the Unfixable?

A

s I read the pages of this fine journal I keep seeing the same problems over and over: (un)affordable housing, drug and alcohol addiction and homelessness. These problems aren’t exactly new. History has shown that some things just aren’t fixable.

What galls me is that our politicians tell us that “we” need to solve these problems (especially during election season). After being hectored about the “problem,” we are offered a “solution.” The fix is usually worse than the problem.

The reality is that we can’t get rid of drunks, addicts and the homeless on State Street doing socially obnoxious things. We can call the cops, the poor guys who have to deal with society’s messy problems, and they can take them away and plug them into a system, which, based on recidivism rates, doesn’t really do much to alleviate the problem.

Housing? Santa Barbara is expensive and because everyone wants to live here, it will remain expensive and there is nothing we can do about it. Anyone making no more than Santa Barbara’s median income (about $71,000 for a family of four) will continue to be shut out. Middle class folks will live permanently with boarders and roommates. Immigrant workers will be crowded into substandard flophouses.

Years of “solutions” have fixed nothing.

These things just aren’t fixable.

Why don’t our politicians just admit the obvious? Instead, they convene community meetings and with nice PowerPoint presentations describe the obvious and then finish with a five-point “solution” that we’ve all heard before. This is not meant to be a “do nothing” diatribe faulting weak-willed homeless people, addicts and the poor. It’s a plea to recognize that there are some things you can’t solve; at best you can only manage them. The socalled solutions are expensive, ineffective and often make things worse.

Starting with the homeless, you have

to divide the problem into two parts: the hopeless and the helpless.

The helpless, such as the single mother who loses her job and ends up living in her car, can be fixed. She needs a hand up, as they say, and there are many good organizations out there willing to do just that. Yes, her problems are probably more complicated than this, but we can help solve her problem because she wants to solve it. The number of private charities in Santa Barbara willing to help her is quite large, which tells us that we Santa Barbarians are concerned about the welfare of our fellow human beings and are willing to put our money where our hearts lie. Politicians don’t need to stick their noses in this.

Then there are the hopeless: the homeless, the drunks and the addicts. You can’t stop people from being mentally ill or addicts or just not fitting into our society.

There are a large number of public and private resources to assist them, but let’s face it, despite our efforts and the money and resources thrown at the problem, the problem hasn’t gone away. Not to say there aren’t some good recovery stories out there, but until you solve mental illness in its various manifestations, they will be with us forever.

I recall Sharon Byrne’s wonderful story in these pages about Homeless Ed, who she finally (and heroically, in my opinion) got off the street only to see him slip back into his homeless lifestyle. I will say that the organizations, public and private, that serve this segment are angels doing our dirty work. But they’ll never run out of work.

The hopeless are the ones we complain about because they are very visible on State Street and at Cabrillo Park. I’m not being callous here, but you have to admit that we don’t want these folks around because they are scary and obnoxious. It upsets our “Grover’s Corners” mythology of our fair city. I recall a stroll down State Street a while back with a friend who is

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very liberal when a very dirty homeless man stumbled toward us, quite unsteady, quite odoriferous, his zipper down, with hand held out begging everyone who passed by. After a post-encounter period of silence between us, my friend said, “You know, it’s a lot easier to be sympathetic [to the homeless] in the abstract.” For once we agreed on something.

Accept the fact that all we can do is manage this problem, not solve it. And try to protect ourselves and them from the worst. But stop telling me we have to throw more money at the problem through some wonderful new program. History, I believe, has proven me correct on this.

Affordable housing is another one of those ideas that you just can’t kill. The issue keeps popping up zombie-like during each election. Unaffordability has been the City’s problem forever. We have one of the lowest vacancy rates anywhere: historically it has been 2% or less. So rentals are tight, rents are high (average $1,450), and housing costs are ridiculously high.

Accept the fact that housing in Santa Barbara isn’t affordable and never will be.

The only affordable housing is housing that someone other than the occupant pays for.

The Housing Authority of the City of Santa Barbara (HASB) runs the City’s affordable housing programs. According to the HASB website, it controls about 465 housing units, which are available under various programs (HUD, Section

8, Senior, Supportive). Which means there are only 465 lucky households out of 35,103 who can win this affordable housing lottery. HASB says on its website that it has developed or secured over 3,000 affordable units since its founding in 1969.

This isn’t meant to be a critique of HASB; rather, I’m pointing out the obvious: there is no way to fix Santa Barbara’s unaffordable housing problem. Yet politicians tell us that we must. I submit that their attempts are political eyewash to show that they are “doing something” about it in order to assuage their supporters.

Case in point. The City requires housing developers to build and sell a certain number of units in a project at artificially low prices to “qualified, low income” buyers. From personal experience, I can tell you that the cost to build these units is not that much less than the market priced units. The cost (the loss on the sale of these units) is passed on to the buyers of the market priced units, which in effect jacks up the price of all housing in the City, thus making housing even more unaffordable.

Funny how things work out.

There are dozens of laws requiring certain people to tell the truth (lenders, real estate brokers, car dealers, etc.). I suggest we require politicians to “tell the truth” when they make campaign promises. A Truth in Campaigning law.

Fat chance, since they would have to vote on something that would put them on the street. In the meanwhile, caveat emptor.

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...continued from p.7 water into the recycled water system.

Potable water will be used in place of recycled water during the construction of the new plant. We hope to limit the construction window for the recycled plant and have it fully functioning by the summer of 2015.

Rebecca Bjork Acting Public Works Director City of Santa Barbara (Editor’s Note: Thanks very much for the clarification, Ms. Bjork. For me, at this point in the discussion, one thing seems abundantly clear: However recycled water is produced – whether mixed with potable water due to “quality issues” or treated more effectively by newer technology – the key is ensuring adequate testing and oversight designed to protect the health of the public.

Dr. John Ackerman called the current testing regime into question last week in his related letter. (Wait a Second, Hang On: Maybe There Are Superbugs After All…, Vol. 2, Issue 44.)

I assume that recycled water is a fact of life given expanding population and scarcity of resources, so maybe it’s time to shift the conversation to the adequacy of the California State Water Quality Standards… although I suppose I could guess the arguments on either side: “The omniscient legislature and court system have found that current standards are adequate, what else do we need to do for Pete’s sake?” on the one hand, and “the water lobby and its political and bureaucratic cronies have

W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

worked in concert to degrade testing to the point that it is presently unable to detect a giant turd floating in the proverbial recycled water punchbowl,” on the other. Something like that.

At the end of the day, I understand that recycled waste water serves a number of important purposes but frankly don’t care much about the intricate processes involved in the recycling itself. I care a whole hell of a lot, however, about whether the recycled water we are using is going to make my family sick. In a situation like this – where public health and well-being is at stake – it doesn’t seem a stretch to me for the community to demand state-of-the-art technology and strict testing. Yes, there are costs associated with that type of approach. But what might the costs be in the alternative? – MSM)

Mac McGill, Reasonable Guy?

Mr. Mazza, Don Carroll is a friend of mine, probably my favorite person that I’ve met since winding up on the street, and though Don has a tendency to put things in as entertaining a fashion as possible, there is the kernel of something in his idea (see On Curing Homelessness With An iPhone App, Vol. 2, Issue 43).

As you might guess, I have absolutely no interest in being anyone’s “Pet.” Although if it were one of those tall, wealthy, Amazonian women that seem to be more common in Santa Barbara than pigeons, I would definitely consider it.

At heart, however, what Don is talking

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about is peer-to-peer charity and there is no reason that couldn’t be done ethically and with dignity. As much as more conventional charities are vital, there is all too often a certain lack of humanity associated with them, and I am not sure that the salaries of the people who run them are always justified. Government gets even worse in terms of humanity, and right now is being dominated by conservatives competing with each to come up with ways to eviscerate our already anemic social safety net so they can turn right around and give even more money to their corporate buddies.

When someone makes a donation, they want to believe it does go forth into the world to do good things, but there are a lot of bars to that happening. Also, quite frankly, and I am sure you would agree with this, some of us are quite simply more functional than others. Giving us resources is going to result in more getting done than just sort of throwing money in the general direction of the needy.

I find a beer or two makes it a lot easier to ignore the rats fighting in the bushes and go to sleep on a piece of cardboard, but I’m not jonesing to smoke bath salts or whatever all day. With a lot of folks out here, that is one of the first problems you have to solve, and it is a doozy.

Even without that issue, once you get into this position it takes such an absolutely enormous amount of resources to get out of it that it seems almost designed to keep you in it until it kills you. Most importantly, something like this would solve what I believe is the major problem not just with the homeless but with society in general, which is the extinguishing of the human connections that tend to give life its meaning. We are losing that, along with the kindness and the empathy that it tends to generate.

In the end, it is not an institution that needs your help, it is a person. A person who is often cold and hungry and dirty

and desperately lonely most of the time.

Five dollars is a lot of money in our world, and one friend is a lot of friends.

Among the things I have been given since becoming homeless, what I have valued most are the smiles.

Mac McGill Available to a Good Home Santa Barbara (Editor’s Note: There is much here that I agree with, Mac, and I found it an interesting read. We share some thinking, I think, on the “extinguishing of human relationships” in today’s world. A friend recently turned me on to Sherry Turkle’s TED talk – entitled Connected, But Alone? – that relates to the issue; check it out, you might enjoy it.

Thanks for writing. – MSM)

A Concerned Citizen and the Santa Barbara Airport Karen Ramsdell, the City of Santa Barbara’s long-term Airport Director, has announced her retirement scheduled for December 30. According to an article published in the other local weekly on November 6, she has been a veteran of city government for 37 years, starting as an office worker in the County Clerk’s Department.

She progressed through our civil service system to eventually be commended by women’s groups, awarded as a local executive and praised for, among other things, the “public art, historical displays and passenger amenities” she supervised and placed in the new $55 million airport terminal.

Well, most of us have seen the terminal, at least from the outside. The shell is indeed impressive. But, for the first time last month, I had the opportunity to leave and return to this massive structure. I anticipated a comfortable restaurant to relax in before my flight and planned to take in the fine art and historical displays ...continued p.41

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Powered by

www.presidiosports.com Presidio Sports is a provider of local sports news and information for the Santa Barbara community. Founded in 2008, the small team at Presidio has covered hundreds of local sporting events and published thousands of articles connected to Santa Barbara’s athletic community. Please visit their website for more local sports news and information.

by John Dvorak

Chicago White Sox pitcher Dylan Axelrod chooses his NFL teams for this week’s “Local Celebrities Football Picks.”

D

ylan Axelrod makes a living throwing heat for the Chicago White Sox. So it makes sense that the major league pitcher didn’t throw many curveballs while picking the winners of this week’s NFL games in a fun promotion that is raising money for local youth scholarships to the Junior Lifeguards program.

Axelrod, a local product who played at Santa Barbara High and SBCC, chose the home team in 10-of-14 NFL games being played this weekend. One of the away teams he picked was to be expected: his beloved San Francisco 49ers.

A tough decision came with the Denver Broncos (9-1) playing at New England (7-3). Axelrod likes the Patriots to knock off the team many consider to be the best in the NFL. “The Patriots got another offensive weapon back in Shane Vereen and are 26-2 in their last 28 games in the second half of the season. Brady pulls out an upset at home in a shoot-out.”

The “Local Celebrities Football Picks” promotion with PresidioSports.com and Santa Barbara Brewing Company is raising money for local Junior Lifeguard scholarships while simultaneously raising awareness about different events and important causes around town.

Axelrod, currently training at P3 during the White Sox’s offseason, gave a shoutout to the local UCP Work Inc. Mentor Program, for which Axelrod has worked in the past. Having served the community for over 40 years, the program seeks to enhance the lives of local residents with special needs. Axelrod says he still

volunteers his time when he can.

Every week, Presidio Sports is collecting predictions from a local celebrity on the winners of NFL football games. Each correct pick will trigger a donation that will accumulate throughout the season.

The promotion will provide at least two scholarships for the seven-week summer camp that promotes fitness and an active lifestyle. For over 40 years, the Santa Barbara Junior Lifeguard program has helped develop youth with strenuous daily workouts, water safety, first aid, surf lifesaving, marine education and competition.

So far, Olympic beach volleyball champion Todd Rogers was nearly perfect.

Rogers nailed 12-of-13 winners to really set the bar high. Then professional surfer Lakey Peterson took her turn predicting the winners from the NFL’s Week 9 slate of games. Lakey herself went through the Junior Guards program as a Santa Barbara youngster. Also having participated so far is KEYT Sports Anchor Mike Klan and Australian adventurer Tim Cope.

The “Local Celebrity Football Picks” will be posted online each week and will also appear here.

DYLAN’S PICKS: New Orleans Saints (8-2) at Atlanta Falcons (2-8) Tampa Bay Buccaneers (2-8) at Detroit Lions (6-4) Minnesota Vikings (2-8) at Green Bay Packers (5-5) Jacksonville Jaguars (1-9) at Houston Texans (2-8) San Diego Chargers (4-6) at Kansas City Chiefs (9-1) Carolina Panthers (7-3) at Miami Dolphins (5-5) Pittsburgh Steelers (4-6) at Cleveland Browns (4-6) Chicago Bears (6-4) at St. Louis Rams (4-6) New York Jets (5-5) at Baltimore Ravens (4-6) Tennessee Titans (4-6) at Oakland Raiders (4-6) Indianapolis Colts (7-3) at Arizona Cardinals (6-4) Dallas Cowboys (5-5) at New York Giants (4-6) Denver Broncos (9-1) at New England Patriots (7-3) San Francisco 49ers (6-4) at Washington Redskins (3-7)

Press Luncheon: UCSB’s Mitchell Likes What she Sees in her Team

by Barry Punzal

U

CSB women’s basketball coach Carlene Mitchell made this announcement about her 2013-14 team at Monday’s Santa Barbara Athletic Round Table press luncheon: “I like them, No. 1.”

The Gaucho coach said the squad possesses her personality, meaning it plays with heart and tenacity.

“From tip to the final buzzer, they’re

playing their behinds off,” she said.

Mitchell noted she changed the team’s style of play. “I’m OK with that. I’m still young enough and smart enough to know that we can’t grind it like we did in the past. Now, we’re small, we’re quick and we’re getting after it. I think our team can do special things. I’m really excited.”

Westmont women’s basketball coach Kirsten Moore is hoping her young squad can pick up things as quickly as her 16 1/2-month-old daughter Alexis is doing these days.

“She’s growing so fast and doing so many things she couldn’t do last basketball season,” said Moore. “I’m having my mind blown every day in how quickly they grow and how quickly they learn. I’m really hoping my team can grow and learn in just a fraction of the time she’s growing.”

Moore said half of her squad is comprised of freshmen. “They’re going to have to fill some very big shoes of players who helped us win the national championship last year.”

After playing their first six games on the road, the Warriors begin a two-month homestand this Friday and Saturday with a four-team tournament.

The inaugural CHM Hotels Invitational will include NAIA top-25 teams FreedHardeman (Tenn.), Carroll College (Montana), The Master’s and Westmont.

The Warriors play Carroll at 6pm on Friday and take on Freed-Hardeman at 3:30pm on Saturday.

The Westmont men’s basketball team is off to a 1-2 start, but coach John Moore promised the Warriors will be better as the season progresses.

“You’ll see a team that’s better in December than they are in November; better in January than we were in December, and better in March than we were in February.

“I look forward to coaching this group because they are a gritty bunch.”

Volleyball

Laguna Blanca coach Jim Alzina reported that the Owls will play host to Crossroads in a CIF Division 4-A semifinal match on Tuesday at 6pm.

He introduced four-year players Chloe Richman, Grace Woolf and Clara Madsen as “big, big reasons why we’re ranked No. 1 in CIF. I’m really proud of them.”

Westmont Sports Information Director Ron Smith said the Warriors will host Menlo in a NAIA National Tournament first-round match on Saturday at 7pm.

The winner advances to the finals in Sioux City, Iowa.

Soccer

The Westmont women’s team will play host to Westminster, Utah in a first-round NAIA National Tournament match on Saturday. The winner advances to the Sweet 16 in Alabama.

Water Polo

Ryan McMillan, a volunteer assistant at

UCSB, said the Gaucho men’s team made the MPSF Tournament. He introduced Matt Gronow, Derek Shoemaker and Matt Hamilton as integral parts of the team.

“Each one of these guys brings a great piece to our team, and in year’s past we haven’t had all the pieces,” McMillan said.

“This year, we have all the pieces and we’re getting ready for the MPSF tournament.”

The San Marcos girls water polo team is looking forward to a big season. Assistant coach Pat Reynolds brought two impact players on the squad: Riley Heiduk and Jenna Phreaner.

Swimming

UCSB coach Gregg Wilson brought Anne Peanasky and Monica Garcia from the women’s team and men’s team captains Andrew Dossa and Lucas Norman.

The Gaucho women are off to a 5-1 start of the season while the men are 2-1.

On Peanasky and Garcia, Wilson said they are part of a group of five seniors who have scored 50 percent of the team’s points in championship meets since their freshman year.

He said Dossa and Norman are both pre-med students and tremendous leaders on the squad.

CIF Champions

The Carpinteria girls tennis team was recognized for winning their second straight CIF Division 5 championship last Friday.

Team members are Merissa Souza, MaKenna Pike, Odessa Stork, Allison Wagner, Emily Saito, Natalie Saito, Jackie Wilson, Lesly Zapata, Kelsie Bryant, Gabi Montes de Oca and Kassandra Ni. The Warriors went 23-2.

Phil Womble Award

Natalie Klapp is an outstanding threesport athlete at Dos Pueblos High.

But there’s more to her than hitting and digging a volleyball, or scoring goals in soccer, or sprinting down the track.

DP volleyball coach Todd Garrett explained as Klapp was being honored as the Phil Womble Ethics in Sports Award recipient at Monday’s Santa Barbara Athletic Round Table press luncheon at Harry’s Plaza Café.

“As I was reading the criteria for selecting a junior student-athlete for the award, I can see why the athletic director, the coaches and the counselors were supportive of Natalie as a recipient,” Garrett said. “It’s attributes like accountability, respect of teammates, opponents and officials, honesty, positive attitude, reliability, loyalty and sportsmanship that made it obvious that Natalie was deserving of this honor.”

Klapp is hard-hitting outside hitter for the DP volleyball team. She just completed her second season on the varsity team.

“She has the potential to be one of the

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best players in our town, and she’s putting in the effort every day to achieve that goal,” said Garrett.

Klapp is also a member of the school’s surf team. In the classroom, she carries a 3.6 GPA. “It’s a huge honor, and I don’t take it lightly,” said Klapp of the award.

She is the daughter of Wayne and Julie Klapp.

Garrett said when reading about Phil Womble and his determination to live life to its fullest every day, he realized that Klapp does the same.

“When I see her on Mondays, she usually has some fun story about a hike, or a surf trip, getting lost somewhere or doing something goofy. She has a real zest for adventure and life,” he said.

The coach noted that Klapp has traveled to Mexico and Costa Rica as part of a group that builds homes and helps people who are less fortunate.

“Phil Womble exemplifies the power of athletes to transform lives through fellowship, friendship and camaraderie found in sports,” Garrett said. “I think this award is a steppingstone for Natalie, who is well on her way to living up to those standards.”

Scholar-Athlete of the Year

Erika Noble has a love of sports, writing, science and Spanish-language films.

The Cate student-athlete was recognized

for her performance in the classroom and on the field, being named the school’s Scholar-Athlete of the Year at Monday’s luncheon.

Noble is captain of the girls basketball and lacrosse teams at Cate. She carries a 4.2 GPA with a course load that includes Advanced Placement classes in Biology, English and Hispanic Cinema.

Noble enjoys writing and has been rewarded for it. She received the Brown University Book Award and was Cate’s 2013 Spring Writing Contest winner.

She is the sports editor of the school newspaper and has been recognized for her writing.

If that’s not enough, she has an interest in biology and the sciences, and would like to pursue those fields at the next level.

Athletes of the Week: Bryson Frazer and Kelsie Bryant

by Barry Punzal

C

arpinteria High had a lot to celebrate last Friday.

The day started with the girls tennis team winning its second straight CIF Division 5 championship. And it ended with the football team winning a firstround CIF playoff game on the road.

Members from both of those teams were voted as the Santa Barbara Athletic Round Table Athletes of the Week. The honorees are Kelsie

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Carpinteria High’s Bryson Frazer had 96 total rushing yards and two scores in the first-round CIF Northwest Division playoffs last week.

Kelsie Bryant swept her three sets to help Carpinteria High defeat Riverside Poly in the Division 5 team tennis match recently.

Bryant and Bryson Frazer.

Bryant didn’t lose a game in sweeping her three sets at No. 1 singles to help the Warriors defeat Riverside Poly, 12-6, in the Division 5 team tennis championship match at the Claremont Club.

Frazer made a big impact in Carpinteria’s 31-23 win over La Salle in a first-round game in the CIF Northwest Division playoffs. Frazer had a 28-yard run for the Warriors’ first touchdown and finished the night with 96 total rushing yards and two scores.

The female athletes earning honorable

mention for the awards were: Odessa Stork (Carpinteria tennis), Addi Zerrenner (Dos Pueblos cross country), Clara Madsen (Laguna Blanca volleyball), Peyton Shelburne (Cate volleyball), Ali Spindt (UCSB volleyball) and Brandie Harris (SBCC soccer).

Honorable mention picks for the male athletes were: Cole Smith (Dos Pueblos cross country), Anthony Carter (Bishop Diego), Abel Gonzalez (Bishop Diego football), Shane Hauschild (San Marcos water polo) and Mike Peterson (SBCC football).

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...continued from p.5

“Anyone who comes to Blueline,” Jim says, “is going to get an expert opinion.”

up the sport in Maui, come back and put together a homemade paddle. Jim tried it out and was, he says, “immediately hooked.” He started making paddleboards and called his brand Blueline. Two years later, when the sport had grown enough to sustain it, he opened up his store, giving it the Blueline name.

I asked Jim if he might take me out for my first-ever SUP experience. He was up for it. But was I? After not touching ocean water for nigh on five years now, I fell in three times.

Here’s what I remember.

Fall #1

I’m pretty surprised to find myself here.

I was – unjustifiably – feeling confident, which I see now is a unifying theme of this whole “out of the zone” series. Jim told me that I’m relatively light and that the board he’s letting me use is broad, so I shouldn’t have much trouble. And, he added, Samantha Brown from the Travel Channel didn’t even fall in once when he took her out for a filmed piece that aired on the channel.

Once I paddled out on my knees, managed to stand up and then paddled around for five minutes or so without any problems, I started to believe him.

Maybe I won’t have any trouble with this, I thought. Yet here I am, fully submerged in the Pacific Ocean.

And it’s not as bad as I thought it might be.

Jim told me two things in a brief lesson on the Leadbetter Beach sand before we paddled out, and two things only: Breathe and don’t look down. Other than that, he said, it’s pretty straightforward. The breathing part I had down. I was breathing like a pro out there. That other thing – not looking down, instead keeping my eyes on the horizon – was harder to do.

I was staring down at my board and feet and paddle the whole time, looking like someone desperately trying to maintain balance right before falling off a tight rope.

But that’s not when I fell. In my (admittedly very limited) experience, you don’t fall when you think you’re going to.

It comes out of nowhere, and you only know it’s happening when you’re halfway into the sea already.

Getting back on the board, Jim told me that the faster you paddle, the easier it is.

Wanting to do what it takes to not fall in again, I started paddling as fast as I could.

Keep in mind this is my first time doing this. Did I have preconceived notions?

Definitely. They were that old guys in wet suits do this for fun and that it’s so easy they pretty much just stand there and leisurely paddle every few minutes. That’s not true.

As I’m paddling as fast as I can, I suggest to Jim that this is quite the workout. He confirms my suspicion: it’s a full-body workout, he says, and it’s great for your core.

Fall #2 I want to let you in on something I typically keep to myself. When I say this to someone here in our town – which I love – they see me suddenly as an outsider and tune me out. So I hope you keep reading after this, and can find it in your heart to accept me like I’ve accepted all of you (well, most of you, anyway).

Here goes: I don’t like the beach.

I don’t like the salt and I don’t like the sand. I don’t like putting on special clothes just to go there or carrying around a bag full of stuff I’ll need.

Also, I don’t tan; I turn bright pink and then go back to my default translucent white. Some people read on the beach, some have a picnic or throw a Frisbee; I reapply sunscreen.

I do like that the beach is there. I like the idea of it. It’s nice to look at when I drive by, and it’s nice to know that I have the option to go to there, should I ever want to.

So this isn’t just my first time paddleboarding, this is my first time on the beach since I don’t even know when.

But now that I’m underwater for the second time today, I’m remembering the last time I was here. The memory’s as clear as the ocean I’m currently swimming in.

It was while visiting the parents of my girlfriend-at-the-time, a few years before she moved back here and I followed her from my home state of Georgia. It was my first time meeting her parents, and it wasn’t going great.

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I’m back on the board, feeling relaxed and loving it out here on the water.

Fall #3

Jim and I head out to Leadbetter. It’s my first time ever even touching a paddleboard, and my first time on the beach in quite some time.

This time I just let it happen. I all but jumped in. The sea and me are old buddies now, and after the life-affirming revelation I just had that “it” is all working out, I’m up for falling in as many times as it takes.

But all good first encounters with a new sport must come to an end, and Jim and I must paddle back to dry land.

He doesn’t want to sound too corny, he says (a sentiment that I can definitely relate to after writing about my little epiphany), and goes on to tell me that paddleboarding can be a “zen thing.”

He says that once you get accustomed

21

to it, your whole body works together to respond to the flow of the ocean. Then you don’t even really think about it anymore.

You just paddle.

And breathe.

And keep your eyes on the horizon.

Blueline is located in Santa Barbara’s Funk Zone at 24 East Mason Street. As owner Jim Brewer says, it’s a “retail store with a lot of knowledge.”

Find Jim and Blueline online at bluelinepaddlesurf.com or reach them by phone at 805.845.5606.

The documentary Driftwood is available on DVD through Blueline and will be digitally distributed on Netflix, iTunes and elsewhere next year.

Here we are at the start of our trip. This is just before I popped up to the standing position – without falling, by the way.

Let’s just say jet lag plus anxiety doesn’t equal a great first impression. I had never seen the Pacific before. Getting in it seemed like the thing to do. So I did, and it was cold.

But now I’ve just plunged into the water from a borrowed paddleboard, and I’m feeling my finger with my thumb to check that my wedding ring isn’t floating down to the ocean floor.

It’s still there.

So you guessed it: the girlfriend is now the wife, her parents now the in-laws.

Between the first time I was here in this ocean and this time, things have really worked out. (And I’ve been assured that my in-laws have come to terms with my joining their family.) This time in, now that I’m not taking a bundle of nerves and pressure in here with me, I think I could get used to actually taking advantage of this ocean of ours.

Like Jim, who would sometimes, when he was able to SUP more often, just get out and start paddling without even taking his cellphone out of his pocket,

Now That Is A Cool Gift...

24 E. Mason St. Santa Barbara 805.845.5606 | bluelinepaddlesurf.com

Time & Tide and the DAY LOW HGT HIGH FRI, NOV 22 1:10 AM SAT, NOV 23 2:16 AM SUN, NOV 24 3:21 AM MON, NOV 25 4:12 AM TUES, NOV 26 4:49 AM WED, NOV 27 5:21 AM THURS, NOV 28 5:51 AM FRI, NOV 29 6:22 AM

HGT 3.5 3.6 3.7 4 4.3 4.7 5.2 5.7

LOW 5:13 AM 6:18 AM 8:00 AM 9:49 AM 11:03 AM 11:54 AM 12:36 PM 01:15 PM

HGT 3.1 3.3 3.3 3 2.4 1.8 1 0.3

HIGH 11:17 AM 12:03 PM 01:08 PM 02:38 PM 04:12 PM 05:28 PM 06:28 PM 07:21 PM

urf HGT 4.8 4.4 3.9 3.6 3.4 3.5 3.6 3.8

LOW 06:52 PM 07:43 PM 08:38 PM 09:32 PM 010:21 PM 011:06 PM 011:47 PM

HGT 0.6 0.8 1.1 1.2 1.5 1.6 1.6

SURF MAGAZINE • DEEPZINE.COM

B

ack to bleak we go, everybody. I’m going to do my best to give you something to look forward to you even though there isn’t much on the horizon. Here goes. Building and peaking north-northwest ground swell for Friday will probably miss most of Santa Barbara and Ventura. Waist to rib (at best) at stand out spots in town; most likely looking at beach breaks on the medium to high tide. To make matters worse, south-southwest wind will likely plague us for the roughly three days we might have ground swell. Look for some beach breaks to be side offshore and rideable.

-Surf Country Doug

For a more in-depth daily report call Surf Country, 805-683-4450

22 | N OV E M B E R

22 – 29 | 2013

W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

EHT THE

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N OV E M B E R 2 2 – 2 9 | 2 0 1 3 |

23

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world. Really. Some of

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- Jack Nicholson

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our friendly neighbor to the South? (Or is that East?) You’ve probably hit Crushcakes or The Worker Bee for breakfast at some point over the years, you’ve probably hit Sly’s or The Palms for dinner. Maybe you’ve hit Crazy Good Bread Company for some fresh baked goodness or Island Brewing Company for a cold one. (If you haven’t done any of that, then you’d better check yourself and make it happen.)

Here’s the thing, though. There’s more than just a handful of spots in Carp. Linden and environs is laden with cool shops and good food, and it’s all just a short drive – or, even better, a short train ride – away. (Yo Amtrak!)

So make plans to spend a day down in Carp this holiday season. Shop. Eat. Drink.

Repeat.

You’ll be glad you did.

Even if it takes you away from your beloved Santa Barbara for an afternoon.

Carp Happenings:

Nov. 30, Sat. 8am-3pm ~ Carpinteria Valley Historical Society Holiday Arts and Crafts Fair, Carpinteria Museum Marketplace, 956 Maple Avenue. Info: (805) 684-3112 or info@ carpinteriahistoricalmuseum.org.

Dec. 6, Fri. 5-8pm ~ First Friday and Saturday, “Light Up the Season” all over downtown Carpinteria. Live music and other entertainment and all sorts of shopping opportunities with local incentives.

Dec. 7, Sat. 8-10:30am Breakfast and 9am-2pm Festival ~ Kinderkirk Panfest, Carpinteria Community Church, 111 Vallecito Road, (805) 684-2211. $6 Pancake Breakfast.

Dec. 14, Sat., 3pm ~ Holiday Spirit Parade, Linden Avenue, (805) 684-4264 Dec. 14, Sat., 5:30pm ~ Hospice Tree Lighting, Linden Avenue at Seal Fountain Area (805) 684-4264.

Dec. 20-21, 6pm ~ Curtis Studio of Dance Nutcracker Ballet, Carpinteria Middle School, 5351 Carpinteria Avenue. Please contact Bonnie Curtis for more information at www.curtisdance.com.

CARPINTERIA MERCHANTS HOLIDAY SHOPPING GUIDE

24 | N OV E M B E R

22 – 29 | 2013

W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

SANTA BARBARA SANTA BARBARA

with Mark Léisuré

Mark spends much of his time wandering Santa Barbara and environs, enjoying the simple things that come his way.

A show here, a benefit there, he is generally out and about and typically has a good time. He says that he writes “when he feels the urge” and doesn’t want his identity known for fear of an experience that is “less than authentic.” So he remains at large, roaming the town, having fun. Be warned.

A Week at SOhO

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OhO is the only club in town that books live music seven nights a week, without fail, and they’ve been doing so for going on 15 years now. Which is no great shakes, maybe, in a major city like Los Angeles or New York, but even the Big Apple lost its premier showcase space when the Bottom Line closed several years back.

And the thing is, SOhO doesn’t just put any old band in there to fill up the schedule. There are at least two dozen worthy touring acts every month, a few weekend nights given over to dance bands, jazz on most Mondays, singer-songwriters on Tuesdays, etc.

Recently I’ve been visiting SOhO so often they should just give me my own permanent chair and table, something against the wall so in those extra-leisurely moments I can lean back and watch.

I can see it now: a little card that says, “Reserved for Mark Leisure.” I’d like that.

(Not too far from the bathroom either, please, while we’re at it.)

Anyway, this was one of those weeks where I found myself climbing the stairs on a nearly nightly basis. (There is an elevator nearby, by the way, but it used to be operated by key only and I’m too lazy to deal with it.) There was the fun Portland band Quasi on Thursday, followed by the deadpan, erudite singer-songwriter Bill Callahan on Friday, who is so stage-shy he barely says hello to the audience, even though he’s the only one standing on stage as the other three players in his surprisingly forceful band stay seated (there’s a gig I could handle). But what a commanding deep voice and hypnotic talent!

I would’ve been at SOhO on Saturday for Vanessa Carlton, the pop sensation of a decade ago, and in fact made it as far as the parking lot on the way over from seeing Genesis West’s The Designated Mourner up the street at CrockerMcDermott Mortuary. But that’s where my companion and I got involved in a discussion sparked by Wallace Shawn’s play, a monologue triptych – meaning the three actors don’t interact at all, instead speaking about each other and the oppressive situation they’re going through.

Although the trio of actors did a fine job, the play itself was awfully challenging, and not one you go to for action or even clear resolution. Nevertheless, it did get our conversation going deep enough that folks were already done pouring out of SOhO when we tried to make our way in.

(If you’re looking for something a little cheerier, theater-wise, check out the new student show at SBCC, which closes this weekend. Project Love is a documentary play about all the ways and means of love, and is researched, written and performed by the dozen young actors based on interviews and their own experiences.)

Slade Cleaves

Meanwhile, back at SOhO on Sunday, we got to hear former Santa Barbara flutist Rebecca Kleinmann in two different settings, on her birthday no less.

The closing set with Los Angeles vocalist Allison Adams Tucker was a boffo slice of Brazil and even induced a little dancing at the end of the night.

Texas troubadour Slaid Cleaves – partnered by guitarist Scrappy Jud Newcomb, a fellow Lone Star Stater with an equally quixotic name – packed the place again on Monday, scoring with his upbeat personality and downer songs about thrice-divorced men from Maine and similar lonely hearts and otherwise downtrodden folks. The boy sure has learned to yodel – his mid-set tribute to the late Don Walser fairly brought the house down. He ended the night by doing his man-of-the-people thing, wandering with Newcomb, unplugged, between the tables for a gospel-folk send-off. Charming.

I’m writing this late on Monday night, so I can’t yet report on Tuesday’s latest installment of the Durango songwritersin-the-round series, but past experience with the show – which features single songs from about two dozen troubadours – is making me eagerly anticipating heading back upstairs to Victoria Court on the morrow.

Coming up at SOhO this week: Geographer on Friday, Papa on Saturday, Santa Barbara’s own Jewish music band Soul Aviv on Sunday, Jeff Elliott’s weekly jazz jam on Monday, locally-bred singersongwriters featuring Tommy Alexander and Natalie Noone (Peter Noone of Herman’s Hermits fame’s daughter) on Tuesday, and the free annual Hansen Family Songfest on Thanksgiving eve.

See you there.

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N OV E M B E R 2 2 – 2 9 | 2 0 1 3 |

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26 | N OV E M B E R

22 – 29 | 2013

W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

by Jaquelyn De Longe

As a writer, busy mother of two toddlers and Pilates Instructor at P.U.L.S.E., Jacquelyn De Longe finds her fast-paced life often keeps her out of the kitchen and frequenting area restaurants. New to Santa Barbara, she explores treasures of the local culinary scene with a fresh, honest and entertaining perspective.

The Soj:

A Health-Conscious Santa Barbara Landmark (That Puts Out a Hell of a Meal)

Slade Cleaves

Yep. That pretty much says it all.

T

he term “sojourner” is typically used to refer to a person – often a traveler or a guest from another culture – who stays temporarily in a place for a time and then drifts on.

But the Sojourner Café & Restaurant is anything but an interim pass-through for tourists. Having opened its doors in 1977 as the first health conscious eatery in town, the Soj (for short) could be recognized as a Santa Barbara landmark.

The Soj celebrated its 36th year in March and again won the 2013 Independent Award for Best Desserts, an accomplishment they have achieved nearly every year since the awards were created. It has also been deemed the Best Place to Eat Alone, which isn’t really surprising since my experience was that the other customers are neighborly and the wait staff is warm and easygoing (most have worked there for many years).

If this place were an ‘80s sitcom – it’s not, for the record, it’s a restaurant – it would go by the name of Cheers because yes, here, everyone will know your name.

And they are always glad that you came.

Everybody Wins When The Soj Does Its Thing Not only is this place supported by the community with locals flocking for decades, but in return the Soj supports the community by buying locally and

Golden Indian Dahl. It’s like I died, was reincarnated and ended up eating incredibly well in India. (This one’s a real treat.)

Chocolate Torte. Need I say mor(t)e?

supporting local charities. The more items that become available, the more the restaurant adds them to their menu.

The organic produce comes from local growers, the beer from Island Brewing Co. and a variety of Santa Barbara wines are listed on the menu. Local favorites such as McConnell’s Fine Ice Creams are on there too.

When discussing the menu with Donna Mudge, the friendly owner who

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The bar at the Soj. Normally full but by the time I finished my lunch and chat with Donna in the late afternoon, I had the place to myself.

Sojourner is a great place to sit outside, enjoy a terrific healthy meal and watch Santa Barbara go by.

N OV E M B E R 2 2 – 2 9 | 2 0 1 3 |

Lasagna and Tofu Buddha Salad are their most popular orders. Donna attributes the menu’s broad variety to the cooks that have passed through the kitchen over the years, each leaving a trademark behind.

Food aside, the Soj hosts a Happy Hour from 4 – 6pm, Monday through Friday, with various beers and wines but also creative Soju cocktails such as William Tell, Thai Basil, and Sunset Bonfire, which contains Cheyenne and liquid smoke. Live music entertains on the first Thursday of the month and artists who are talented enough to be showcased on the walls participate in an informal meet and greet the same night. With the December reopening of the Lobero Theatre, located half a block away, be prepared to call ahead for dinner and reserve your table.

Sojourner Café & Restaurant is a one of a kind place with no plans of expansion or duplication, so I suggest you find your way over to the intersection of East Canon Perdido Street and Santa Barbara Street – if you haven’t already – to discover this longstanding favorite for yourself.

And if you’ve been there before, get back in and order that unreal Golden Dahl with a fresh juice.

And tell Donna I said hello.

celebrated her 25th anniversary at Soj just this month, she attributed the restaurant’s success to familiarity.

“We haven’t changed with the trends; we’re reliable and consistent. Our menu stays the same,” she told me, confident and smiling.

The truth is that they haven’t needed to follow trends as they have always been leading the way in providing healthy dining options with a variety of vegetarian, gluten free and vegan meals from which to choose.

But don’t worry carnivores; the Soj serves meat too. And as a meat-eater myself, I do have to say I was quite satisfied with the vegetarian Golden Indian Dhal

(gluten free). It was delicious and wholly spicy in the flavorful (not burn your taste buds) kind of way. I ended my meal with an indulgent dessert, the Dark Chocolate Torte with Housemade Peanut Butter Top (gluten free of course). It was as if a gargantuan Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup had fallen from the heavens above.

Yes, it was as divine and decadent as it sounds.

At Sojourner, there is the option of full or half-size orders. What this means to me is, next time I go, I’ll take a group of friends and order family style. The restaurant’s spot-on flavors cover the globe from Indian, Mexican and Italian to Asian and American. The Golden Dhal, Veggie

The Soj is located at 134 East Canon Perdido Street. Check out menus and hours of operation at www.sojournercafe.com, or call (805) 965-7922.

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28 | N OV E M B E R

2 2 – 2 9 | 2 0 1 3

W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

CALL FOR ARTISANS Register by Nov 30

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PUMP IT

N OV E M B E R 2 2 – 2 9 | 2 0 1 3 |

10 – Pop-ups 100 – Jumping Jacks

by Jenny Schatzle

N.A.S.M, Kickboxing and SPIN Certified, Jenny Schatzle is known for changing bodies and changing lives. Her approach to fitness is about not only “getting fit” physically but also how, through exercise, nutrition and a positive motivational environment, you can change your lifestyle for the better. Jenny’s program and the results she consistently achieves have made her one of the most sought-after experts in Santa Barbara.

I want you to do the same thing on Friday, but do more rounds than you did on Monday. That doesn’t mean slack off on Monday, oh no, I want you working as hard as possible on both days.

And I want you to do more rounds on Friday than you did on Monday. Simple. So do it.

WEDNESDAY

Schatzle Schponsorschip Schtarts!

M

ost of you know that the Sentinel has sponsored Jay Caplan and Bonnie Keinath through the Jenny Schatzle Program ending December 20. Jay is a 43-yearold investment banker living in San Roque who, after just two days with Jenny, suddenly “realized that hiking is not a full body workout.” He’s generally looking for a regular exercise routine and overall improvement in his fitness level.

Bonnie lives on the Westside and is the Director of the Santa Barbara Beer Festival.

(She was also recently brought on as the Operations Manager for Old Spanish Days.

Viva!) At 52 years old, she wants to kick start some weight loss with an exercise routine she can incorporate into everyday life, and wants a daily reminder that the whole thing will get easier if she stays consistent. (We have a feeling Right on, Jay and Bonnie, the Sentinel is right you’ll get that, Bonnie.)

We’ll be checking in with San Roque Jay behind you… so make it happen! and Bestside Bonnie regularly and are confident that they’ll both find what they’re looking for.

Go get ‘em, guys, we’re all rooting for you.

Now let’s get the (lean) meat of the matter: This week’s nutritional tip and workout.

Nutrition: One word: SALT. The holidays are upon us and managing salt intake is critical. Take a look at the sodium content in your foods, especially deli meats, soups and any packaged or canned goods. (Just go with the fresh stuff, would you already?)

Not only is too much salt generally unhealthy but it also makes your body retain water, causing you to feel and be bloated. You know… puffy. Who wants to be puffy?

Workout: I’m giving you two workouts this week – that’s right people – and I’d like for you to do the first on Monday and Friday and the second on Wednesday. Here they are:

GO OUTSIDE AND RUN! BEGINNERS: Do a 30-minute jog/walk. Just get out there and make it happen. If you’re

struggling, try alternating jogging for 2 minutes with walking for 1 minute until time is up. Like I said, the most important thing is to get out there and make it happen.

ADVANCED: Do a timed 5K (3.1 mile) run. Or, just go for a reasonably hard 45-minute run in your favorite area of town. Make it fun. But go fast.

IT GOES WITHOUT SAYING THAT THERE IS RISK OF INJURY ASSOCIATED WITH ANY AND ALL PHYSICAL ACTIVITY, WHETHER STRENUOUS OR NOT. IF YOU HAVE ANY RELATED CONCERNS AT ALL, THEN PLEASE MAKE SURE TO SPEAK WITH YOUR PHYSICIAN BEFORE ENGAGING IN THE EXERCISE PROGRAM ABOVE. AND IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS ABOUT PARTICULAR MOVEMENTS, THEN PLEASE CALL OR WRITE JENNY SCHATZLE DIRECTLY SO SHE CAN ANSWER THEM. REGARDLESS, HOWEVER, AS A RESPONSIBLE HUMAN BEING, BY PARTICIPATING IN THE FOREGOING EXERCISE PROGRAM, YOU ASSUME ALL OF THE RISK OF DOING SO AND VOLUNTARILY RELEASE, TO THE FULLEST EXTENT ALLOWED BY LAW, ANY AND ALL CLAIMS AGAINST JENNY SCHATZLE BOOTCAMP AND/OR THE SANTA BARBARA SENTINEL.

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by Tommie Vaughn Tommie adapted her love of the stage to the love of the

page. As lead singer for the band Wall of Tom, she created This Rock in My Heart and This Roll in My Soul, a fictional book series based loosely on her experiences in the L.A. music scene. Now she’s spending her time checking out and writing about all things Santa Barbara. Reach Tommie at www.TommieV.com or follow her on Twitter at TommieVaughn1.

From L.A. Rock to Santa Barbara Roll

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Robin Deinhard of Angel in Montecito, with more SCF stuff I want to buy. Great. I need my old rock ‘n’ roll gig back just to afford the new non-rock ‘n’ roll clothes I want.

S

tone Cold Fox. There, I said it.

I know, I know, it’s like reading the last page of a novel first, this sexy name I’ve thrown out to you all so callously. Yes, a little backstory is what you need, so you can understand what the hell is going on here.

My life recently changed along with my address, you see, and as I happily skipped away from the screaming electric guitars and the bright hot lights of my rock ‘n’ roll playground that was Los Angeles – think of me smiling to myself as I rinse off my coal black eyeliner – I began to realized that my chosen new and comparatively relaxed beach life in sunny Santa Barbara must start with a purging of sorts, starting, appropriately, somewhere deep within my overcrowded closet.

So I packed up my leather studded stiletto knee-high boots, threw away the spandex of the ‘80s that will forever haunt the Sunset Strip and boxed up all my vintage 1930s show dresses that scream downtown L.A.’s speakeasy revival and of a life lived loudly on stage.

Some items I would never dare to part with because my daughter, although tiny now, will thank me so much later when she gets to enjoy all the fashionable fruits of my artistic and rather voracious appetite.

Now, finally, my purge packing is complete and my basement is full of color-coded dress boxes. So I find myself frequently heading down to the beach for some quiet time, taking only my notebook and pen, an acoustic guitar and my memories, having a much-needed

Cydney Morris and Dallas Wand, Stone Cold Foxes.

date with myself, feeling the warm sun flittering across my face, digging my toes in the sand and breathing in the clean saltwater air that cleanses my once smoggy soul.

And with my city-to-beach metamorphosis nearly complete, I’ve realized two more very important things.

One, I am in desperate need of a pedicure.

Two, I need Stone Cold Fox.

Getting What I Need Stone Cold Fox is the brainchild of two childhood friends who just happen to be, get this… total foxes.

Cydney Morris, the designer and creative marketing director of SCF, graduated with a major in Fashion Design and a Bachelor’s in Fine Arts from California College of the Arts, San Francisco. Dallas Wand, production manager and collection representative of ...continued p.36

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by Megan Waldrep With over ten years in the industry designing for her own label, she began writing because “it just felt good.” In addition to writing, Megan is currently the head designer and creative director for Mew Kids, a children’s clothing line, as well as a co-author of the much loved children’s book, Spice & Little Sugar. You can say she wears many hats. Which is fitting. For a fashion writer and all. Discover her world at www.mewkids.com.

Local Art Talent Shows Up for Onward Opening

C

hampagne in hand, I’m on the move.

It’s the grand opening party for Onward Art & Design in the heart of Santa Barbara, and I’m right in the middle of it. Local art-loving citizens are all around me celebrating the newest love child and retail venture of Santa Barbara native Mary Benenati. Onward is really a boutique that could be described by many adjectives.

“Typical” is quite clearly not one of them.

I got the chance to sit down with Mary and ask her all about the unique shop and the inspiration behind it.

“Whenever I bring something into my home, I like to get a jolly out of it,

a smile. It’s just fun to bring something unusual or something you see in a piece that others may just walk by,” she explains of her multifaceted space. “[The artists are] personal to me because I have their work in my home and I’ve followed their careers. There are so many talented people in Santa Barbara; I wanted to hone in on a couple that are true to my heart and show them in a venue that makes it comfortable for people to see their work in a home furnishing setting rather than a gallery setting.”

Mary’s face absolutely lit up when she spoke of her biggest inspiration.

“My father is my mentor in the design field. He was and is an inspiration to me. He always said ‘set the trend, don’t

Thanksgiving Nov 28th!

Santa Barbara native and Onward Art & Design owner, Mary Benenati. (Thanks for taking the time, Mary, I had a blast!)

Artist and best-answer-I’ve-ever-heard-giver, Missy Vivenzio.

Hordes of people came out to sip champagne and celebrate the opening of Mary Benenati’s newest boutique, Onward Art & Design.

follow it. Don’t buy art to fill a spot, buy it if you love it.’”

Mary’s parents Bob and Barbara McColm built Danica House/Neuvie from which Mary’s 30 years experience has led her here to Onward.

That experience shows.

Mary generously chose to give 10% of the weekend’s proceeds to the Parkinson Association of Santa Barbara, which is near and dear to her heart.

Local owner, local artists, local causes.

Talk about hitting the trifecta.

The Artisans

I adored talking with Mary, but it was time for her to get back to her guests – who showed up in droves – and time for me to find a featured artist to fully round out my Onward experience.

Enter Missy Vivenzio.

Missy’s large-scale paintings greet you in

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Legendary designer John Saladino and Mary Benenati look terrific.

Assemblage artist, Dan Levin. Cool. What does this piece say to you?

the front store windows, and other pieces of her amazingly diverse art collection accompany you throughout the space.

When I asked her how she decides what scale of art she’ll work with or what materials she will use, she answered candidly.

“Well, that’s a tough question. (Laughs) I guess it depends. I feel like I actually paint the same painting over and over again because I just want this feeling over and over. Even though the vehicle for it is a bar scene or a jazz club or fighters. For me it’s like the same painting because I am just trying to get this same feeling.

“You don’t get to have that much in your day-to-day life of getting to be right there and getting to forget all the bull****

around you. I get to do this thing where I completely control it. And there’s not much you can completely control in life. It’s really emotional.”

Totally. Best art answer I’ve ever heard.

After that intuitive grasp-for-the-truth conversation, I ran into assemblage artist Dan Levin, who explained his piece – constructed of materials such as a chair, saws and a lifting belt – as inspired by da Vinci’s Vitruvian Man. Some described it to me as an angular work. But I’ll let you be the judge. (You can check out Dan’s work at Roy’s on November 21 and 22, from 7 – 10pm.)

Mosaic artist Perry Hoffman and artist Robin McCarthy (neither of whom I had the pleasure of speaking with, sad face) were additional standouts for me.

Perry’s mosaic tile work emitted very positive vibes and gave me that jovial feeling Mary talked about. (I get it now, Mary. Thanks!) Robin’s use of textile and needlepoint hit me right on my fashion designer heartstrings and then did a little dance. Yay. Perry, Robin, bravo. Let’s talk.

Eventually, after another glass of champagne and more delightful art experiences, it was time for me to bid adieu. Now it’s time for you to say bonjour.

I (highly) encourage you to experience it for yourself and take it all in; Onward offers a terrific experience and has some incredible stuff for your favorite nooks and crannies and walls and tables.

And it showcases a local owner celebrating homegrown artists on Santa Barbara’s main street.

It just doesn’t get much more Santa Barbara than that.

ONWARD Art & Design is located at 1233 State Street, at Victoria Street; 805-3244337; www.facebook.com/onwardsb.

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Name: Maria Hintog Where: West Anapamu Street Occupation: Bartender/Bikini fitness competitor/Aspiring fitness model What is your favorite part about living in Santa Barbara: The sense of community here. Everybody is tremendously supportive and helpful. It’s the people here that make everything worthwhile. Maybe it’s the fact that we have gorgeous weather year-round that keeps the locals merry, but the energy that resonates from this little town of ours is incomparable. Happy people everywhere! You can’t beat that. Plus the beauty of the ocean and the mountains surrounding us. You can’t really beat that either!

What are you wearing: Tank: online at inkedshop.com.

Blue Suede Shoes: Cole Haan Lunargrand shoes from Nordstrom Rack Watch: Amazon.com Blue and Grey Plaid Pants: Gap Sunglasses: Ray-Bans from Sunglass Hut

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These pictures really demonstrate why it’s so important to keep those mementos. Hang on to them.

by Rachelle Oldmixon

Remembering the Good Rachelle and her Grandpa, circa 1995.

B

riana Westmacott’s article in her Plan B column last week, The Language of Memories (Vol. 2, Issue 44), got me thinking. She hit upon one topic in neuroscience and psychology with which I have a very strong love/hate relationship.

Memory is incredible.

We know so much, yet so little, about its processes. I love reading about Patient H.M., the man who taught us that our hippocampus is imperative to forming new memories, but that old memories aren’t stored there. Even so, that chapter on memory is where I lost the most points on my Introduction to Neuroscience final as a college freshman.

The basic premise of memory is easy: We perceive an event and it is stored in “sensory memory” for a second or two.

From there, it moves to our “short term memory” for less than a minute. After that, if an event is salient (relevant) enough, it moves to “long-term memory” storage. There, memories are processed

A self-professed science nerd, Rachelle has her B.A. in neuroscience from Skidmore College in upstate New York, and is working towards her Master’s in psychology at UCSB. In her free time, she blogs at www.synapticspeculations.com. She never could quite understand why she had to choose just one area of science; they are all fascinating. Especially when paired with some classic rock.

and stored, essentially, forever. All we have to do is find the right way to access them and, voila, there they are.

Unfortunately, our memories are not always reliable. Ask two people to recount the same event and you’ll often get two contrasting tales (especially if it involves who really broke Mom’s expensive dinner plate!). The overall series of events might be similar, sure, but the details are typically remembered differently by different people. Better yet, if you ask a

person to tell you about the same memory months apart, the story will change (and not just in the size of the fish).

I love the mechanisms behind memory, but I don’t always get them. I think that’s how most of us feel. Our memories are precious, bringing us back to important times in our lives. It is where once significant people and places and events continue to live on.

And while much can be said for living in the moment and planning for the future, what would we be without that most personal history that we can share with others?

Memory is our identity in many ways. It is elusive. And yet we rely on it completely.

Memories make us who we are; and who we are makes our memories.

Like I said, memory is incredible.

Human Hardwiring Be Damned All that is well and good, but it skirts the central issue of Briana’s question: Why does she seem to have a disproportionate number of bad memories from her childhood? Briana’s most vivid childhood memories are of pain and embarrassment.

Why? She knows that her childhood was mostly good. Yet, the good memories seem to have faded, leaving only the painful ones.

What is important to remember is that memories are often emotional. Physical pain and emotional pain are two of the most poignant emotions humans can feel, thus memories of what caused that pain tend to stick in our minds.

The reason for the connection between pain and memory is purely evolutionary.

If you were a member of a nomadic family group – the kind of group in which experts believe humans first lived – who had to survive in nature (no warm, cozy homes there!), what would be more important: Remembering which root made you ill or remembering that stream where you liked to swim alone?

One is related to survival, the other to personal fulfillment. As important as personal fulfillment is today for happiness and life satisfaction, those were not concerns in the ancient environment. It was the root that was more important to remember. Being ill in that environment did not mean taking a day off work. It meant slowing the whole group down and

relying on only your immune system to help you recover as quickly as possible.

As a species, we have evolved to develop the most vivid memories about events related to our survival. The avoidance of pain is a major survival mechanism.

In other words, sorry Briana, you might never get over your dislike of sitting in the dentist’s chair.

But that doesn’t mean that the good memories aren’t there. Often, though, they need a trigger to be remembered.

Planning a birthday party for your son or daughter might suddenly trigger a memory of your tenth birthday, where your mother spent hours making you a volcano cake that actually erupted with frosting-lava. You were the coolest kid in your class that summer. Pictures or journals can trigger memories. That’s why we keep those things.

They remind us of great times in our lives.

What is sometimes most surprising is when an everyday object or activity calls to mind memories we didn’t know we had.

For years, I would beg my mother to buy Progresso Chickarina soup whenever she went to the store. It was an odd request from a little girl, but she always got it for me. And I always smiled ear-to-ear when she gave it to me.

A few years ago, she and I were having a conversation about my childhood quirks and the soup came up. She finally asked why it was so important to me.

I have this memory, one of my most precious memories, of the soup. My grandfather and I were sitting at the table in the dining room all alone. He was feeding me the soup, even though I was old enough to feed myself. Then the clock struck a new hour. Grandpa took my hand and we started to swing our arms to the chiming of the clock.

It is the only memory I have of him.

He passed when I was five. Eating that soup was my way of remembering him.

Every time I ate it, I would remember that happy moment with my Grandpa.

So, yes, pain makes memories more readily accessible. We don’t need triggers to remember the painful memories. But when a good memory is triggered, it can be just as emotionally overwhelming.

So keep that scrapbook. Keep that journal. Keep those mementos.

We collect reminders for a reason.

Some memories need a little help to be remembered.

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AT T H E M O O N

by Joseph Timmons

Also affectionately known as Xombiewoof – he is a Central Coast musician and journalist who has covered the local, regional, national and international music scene for a couple decades and is now focused on the burgeoning music community of the Santa Ynez Valley and environs. Check him out at www.xombiewoof.com, or just send note about interesting shows at interesting places to the man himself: xombiewoofmail@aol.com.

A Musical Mission In the Santa Maria Valley

G

rangerville was a small town in Central California founded on a set of crossroads south of the Mission San Luis Obispo and north of Santa Barbara. It was a rural place, mostly farms and not many people. Through the years, it grew and changed its name in 1850 to Central City. There was a small group of musicians in the early years of Central City that would play at private parties and local town events, not widely known but favored by the residents. As the thriving city grew, it changed its name again and became known as Santa Maria in 1885.

The City of Santa Maria was an economic “boom-town” and with the wealth of natural resources, rapidly attracted business people to this lush valley that sought to create their legacies and find their fortune, men like Captain G. Allan Hancock. A “Renaissance Man” of the industrial era with many talents, philanthropist and founder of a college that bears his name, he was educated and well cultured. In addition to his business and community services interests, Capt.

Hancock was an accomplished cellist with experience performing in the Los Angeles Symphony Orchestra. When he came upon the small but passionate music ensemble that was started a few years prior to his arrival in 1925, he transformed the group into a Community Orchestra that would grow popular, attracting concert patrons from the surrounding townships.

The Community Orchestra became an integral part of the city. However, due to circumstances of business, economic woes and social events of the day, the Orchestra was disbanded. In 1958, it was revived briefly and then closed again in 1960.

Through its many forms and incarnations, the Santa Maria Community Orchestra would be supported by its more wealthy patrons and affluent members. However in 1999, due to serious financial issues, lack of strong public support and waning interest by the youth of the city, the Orchestra was formally disbanded and many thought this time it would be forever.

What was thought of as a “Swan Song” for large ensemble performance groups in Santa Maria turned into yet another reincarnation of Capt. Hancock’s original plan – a large orchestral group to perform in grand form and rich pageantry.

Through the vision and efforts of Dr.

Charles Boyd, like his predecessor before him who saw the Symphony as a crucial part of Santa Maria’s legacy, the Santa Maria Philharmonic was formed and is presently supported by the efforts of the Santa Maria Philharmonic Society, benefactors, patrons and newfound public interest.

Unequaled Passion I came to the idea of reporting the history of the Santa Maria Philharmonic because of the sincerity of the group and its supporters. The people involved are both professional musicians with long repertory histories and local residents with a love for the music. The Santa Maria Philharmonic does some promotion of events, on the news and being interviewed by local reporters such as myself, but is not spoken of in many social circles and is seemingly invisible to the community at large. I sought out information and found that not only does it have a rich past, but presently is reforming its practices to widen its influence through new marketing promotions, and performing both the classical standards and new visions of chamber music. I contacted the offices of the Philharmonic and set an interview with Lynne Garrett.

Upon my interview with Lynne, vice president and member of the Philharmonic’s board of directors, we discussed the group’s history, its present state of affairs and the future of the Orchestra in the area. Lynne came to Santa Maria seven years ago and has taken the Symphony’s cause as her own.

In addition to her own career as a pianist, violinist and music teacher, she looks to build the community awareness of the upcoming music programs. Lynne spoke of the obstacles that could be potential problems of their development, such as lack of performance locations, time to practice for a more regular event schedule and financial issues that limit engagements.

Lynne mentioned with pride the tireless efforts of the members of the board, the volunteers and the musicians of the Philharmonic. Together the society organization and its members work toward a common goal of building and maintaining an organized musical program for the community and its citizenry. The Santa Maria Philharmonic is

The Santa Maria Philharmonic Society’s next concert is coming up on Saturday, November 23 at First United Methodist Church in Santa Maria.

more than just classical music; it performs with vibrant energy and, by enlisting the skills of conductors James Riccardo and John Farrer, the Philharmonic plans to enchant patrons and appreciators of fine music for years to come. “There is a passion that exists in them that is unequalled,” Lynne stated with certainty and conviction.

Upcoming Concerts The Santa Maria Philharmonic is presently engaged in its Rendezvous Concert Series, which offers chamber music in an intimate setting. Hosted by churches and houses of worship with space to seat larger gatherings and stages to support the Philharmonic, they have also been engaged to play for smaller groups at select private and special invitation events.

Rather than look at issues that prohibit frequent performances, the Philharmonic Society focuses on their strengths, and creates an experience that is entertaining and memorable. “We had planned to take time off, but there were several requests to play so we expanded our schedule and are practicing as much as possible to meet the requests.” Lynne added, “Larger cities like Los Angeles and San Francisco have many avenues of support; we have ourselves. It’s tough, but we’ll do it.”

Through fundraisers, the organization achieves its goals in obtaining resources and, in addition to supporting the orchestra, they set up Children’s Programs to foster a love for music in children and young musicians. Their

mission this year includes the promotion of music education for youth in the Santa Maria Valley, and experiential education with their annual Music Van tour, followed by a full concert presentation of Prokofiev’s Peter and the Wolf. Upon visiting the organization’s website (www. santamariaphilharmonic.org), I found a wealth of information on past and upcoming performances, including videos of children involved with the youth program. The children were amazingly gifted and have great potential, but even if they don’t find their way to the grand stage, they have something more than fame; they have confidence and selfworth.

The Santa Maria Philharmonic website has a full list of upcoming performances.

Lynne wants our readers to know they are welcome to not only come to the shows, but to also become involved. As a community service organization, SMP is always looking for volunteers and supporters. They need more than just money; they need people with an interest in music and a desire to continue the great work started by their founders and existing supporters. Members are dedicated to the purpose of sponsoring fine music events within the Santa Maria Valley and Santa Barbara County.

Visit www.santamariaphilharmonic.org for more information on membership, performance dates and ticket orders.

Support a community organization that has been a part of our lives since and even before the city of Santa Maria began.

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...continued from p.31

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Ruby Buddemeyer, also of Angel in Montecito, with a couple more stunning SCF pieces. My closet is growing by the second.

SCF, graduated from FIDM, Los Angeles with a major in Merchandise Marketing and a Bachelor’s in Business.

The girls make a unique pair that is tough to find anywhere else.

They believe in “Quality of Quantity” and that good things are worth waiting for. And wait you must because every piece is locally made in California, only upon actually being ordered, and then hand-packed by Cydney and Dallas.

Each and every item is thought out and personal.

I caught up with Cydney recently so I could ask her two very important questions.

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Told you. Look at that lace!

#1 – TV: What is the inspiration behind the line?

CM: We are always inspired by vintage clothes, and vintage lingerie. We are inspired by the best parts of a woman’s figure, and showing them off. We always make sure to make clothes that are timeless, comfortable and unique. We love beautiful fabrics, laces and items you will have in your closet for a lifetime. #2- TV: If one song could encapsulate the feel of your clothing, what would it be?

CM: Probably a Jimi Hendrix song, something that makes you want to dance and just makes you smile.

That’s all I needed to know; it was time to meet the clothes in person. As I drove to Angel in Montecito, I blasted Jimi Hendrix’s rendition of “American Woman” to get me in the proper mood.

The lovely gals at Angel were super excited

Can you say Angelina? (I can.)

to share the brand new pieces from Stone Cold Fox that had just arrived on their showroom floor.

Immediately I was drawn to one of Stone Cold Fox’s sexiest and most popular items in the line. When I think of beach life and what I want to litter my now sparse, sad little closet, I think of SCF’s sassy Holy Tube, a must have in all three colors, made of delicate lace with a hidden bra bodice to keep your, ah, goods in order.

Another standout in the collection is the floor length Onyx Gown, a high halter style complete with two sexy slits up to… well let’s just say these slits would make Angelina proud. It has a sultry racer back and elastic waist with a look so easy you can dress it up or down, whatever the occasion. Angel has one in stock (but you best move fast so you can get your hands on it before I do!). The beautiful boutique also had some gorgeous robes from SCF that I had not seen before, and once again the SCF’s use of delicate lace details did not disappoint.

In Angel’s front window dances SCF’s Clyde Gown, flowing like a cool stream in aspen green silk, with another sultry side slit and a deep V neckline with a flirty tie.

I’ve seen enough so it’s time to get shopping. Since the girls of Stone Cold Fox are branching into SCFhome, SCFbride and several collaborations, SCF is transforming into a lifestyle brand, which fits perfectly in my new Santa Barbara life.

Get yourself your very own stone cold little number at Angel in Montecito (1221 Coast Village Road, 805-565-1599) or shop online at www.thestonecoldfox.com.

8 0 5 . 8 4 5 .1 6 7 3 | 1 3 3 E A S T D E L A G U E R R A S T R E E T |Wednesday N O.1 8 2 | S A N TA -B A RBARA November

OV E M B E R 27 -N7:30

22 – 29 | 2013 |

37

PLAZA DE ORO The dialogue and voice-over narration forth one of my favorite lines of the year:  WADJDA (PG) “I’m so uninterested in a life without get sprinkled with twisty delights (“It was

by Jim Luksic

A longtime writer, editor and film critic, Jim has worked nationwide for several websites and publications – including the Dayton Daily News, Key West Citizen, Topeka Capital-Journal, Las Cruces Sun-News and Santa Ynez Valley Journal. California is his seventh state. When he isn’t watching movies or sports around the Central Coast and Los Angeles, you can find Jim writing and reading while he enjoys coffee and bacon, or Coke and pizza.

All We Need Is Just A Little…

P

atience is the order of the day. I’m still counting the minutes until Dallas Buyers Club (starring Matthew McConaughey as a bull rider with an HIV death sentence), the Coen brothers’ Inside Llewyn Davis and Martin Scorsese’s latest, The Wolf of Wall Street.

If good things really come to those who wait, we must be in for a slew of quality movies around Thanksgiving and Christmas. Not that recent cinematic pickings have been slim; in fact, this week’s reviews don’t have a turkey among them.

Lost at Sea

A

s an unnamed man adrift in the Indian Ocean, Robert Redford awakens to discover his wayward and leaky boat isn’t getting any drier. The small yacht has been punctured by a cargo container (its contents: kids’ sneakers), and though the hero knows his chops and choppy water, Mother Nature won’t cooperate. Torrential rain is en route.

All Is Lost is a chronicle of existential essentials and man versus nature. It becomes a hybrid of Castaway, Life of Pi and Open Water, which also lacked dialogue but not tension or suspense. Director J.C. Chandor also “wrote” the near-wordless script, bereft of but a few spoken lines. The downside to this flooded adventure is there’s virtually no backstory: We have no clue why this person is afloat somewhere along Indonesia’s Sumatra Straits (dire straits, if you will) and don’t have much emotionally invested – except that he seems like a sincere guy. It soon becomes natural to put ourselves in his soggy shoes.

An incomparable ring-of-fire image more than compensates for any mid-course tedium. One of the film’s finest elements is the musical score: interludes at once nimble, uplifting, spare, haunting and marine-like. Yet it’s ultimately Redford, looking all of his 77 years but hardly “lost” at all, who keeps us engaged and transfixed.

All The Best

T

he Best Man Holiday, a sequel based on the well-received original (minus “Holiday”) nearly 15 years ago, is a surprising chunk of holiday cheer, solemnity and profundity. Despite some hackneyed plot trappings involving previous romances, decade-long grudges and rivalries, this reunion evolves into a ripping good time. Does the subplot involving a football legend push the boundaries of reality? The answer is an emphatic yes. And though audiences are fed doses of sugary syrup, it’s digestible thanks to a considerable amount of shaking and stirring.

Malcolm D. Lee, who helmed the brief and abysmal Scary Movie 5 last spring, returns to 2-hour form with a classy and credible assembly that includes Morris Chestnut, Melissa De Sousa, Taye Diggs, Nia Long and Regina Hall. (Note to the ladies: bring plenty of tissues.) As a doting mother and spouse, Monica Calhoun serves as a pillar of strength despite a personal plight; conversely, Terrence Howard’s comic relief provides a port amid the dysfunctional storm. But it’s Harold Perrineau (Zero Dark Thirty), as the struggling and fundraising dad, whose earnest effort sticks with you afterward.

Time And Again

A

bout Time involves, well, time travel – but not in a modernized, special-effects way. It takes a timeworn genre and puts a fresh albeit simple spin on it: A British man informs his son that he can revert to specific points in the past, just by going to a dark enclosed placed, clenching his fists and thinking really hard. Unquestionably a fragile premise on which to build a feature-length film, but it proves brisk and pleasurable enough.

a summer of suntans and torture,” says your father.”

Future Wednesdays at Plaza De Oro - a one time I will always be grateful for writer/ the hero, referencing a first crush on his screening of Rachel a current filmand that has not played the area.us director Richard Curtisinfor bringing sister’s best friend).

McAdams and A Funeral, Love Actually herDecember Irish co-star, Domhnall (of Four Weddings 4 -Gleeson BROKEN CIRCLE each is far from flawless, 2010’s True Grit), find chemistryBREAKDOWN through and Notting Hill;(NR) shifting degrees of joy and heartbreak, but try turning off those treats when you December 11 couldn’t - MR. NOBODY (R) channel surfing – across them while while dependable Bill Nighy be come especially during the holidays. more agreeable. A cruel 18 twist of December - fate LAbrings GRANDE BELLEZZA (R)

December 25 - MUSCLE SHOALS (PG) Information Listed for Friday thru Tuesday - November 22 - 26 January 1 - A TOUCH OF www.metrotheatres.com SIN (NR) 877-789-MOVIE  for Denotes ‘SPECIAL ENGAGEMENT’ Restrictions Show your SBIFF I.D. discounted admission price

FAIRVIEW SBIFF

2 2 5 N . F a i r v i e w - G o l e ta

and GRAVITY (PG-13) 3D Metropolitan Fri-Mon - 2:50 5:10 7:30 Theatres Tue - 2:50 5:10 Corp. present......

Wednesday -

Courtyard Bar Open Fri & Sat - 6:00 - 10:00 1317 State Street - 963-4408

 THE HUNGER GAMES:

PLAZA PLAZA DE ORO DE ORO 3 7 1 H i t c h c o c k Wa y - S . B .  WADJDA (PG) KILL YOUR DARLINGS PHILLIPS

LAST VEGAS (PG-13) 12:45 3:15 5:45 CAPTAIN 8:00

FIESTA 5

9 1 6 Sta t e St r e e t - S . B .

THOR: THE DARK WORLD Fri-Sun (PG-13) 2D: 12:20 3:10 5:50 8:40 Mon - 2:00 4:40 7:20 Tue - 2:00 4:40

CATCHING FIRE (PG-13) Fri/Sat 1:00 4:20 27 7:40 - 10:50 November 7:30 LAST VEGAS (PG-13) Sun-Tue - 1:00 4:20 7:40 Fri-Sun - 12:30 3:00 5:30 8:00

JACKASS: BAD GRANDPA Fri-Mon - 12:25 8:15 (R) Tue - 12:25

FREE BIRDS (PG) 2D 12:35 3:05 5:30

ARLINGTON

(PG-13)

(R)

Fri & Mon/Tue - 7:45 Sat/Sun - 2:15 5:00

7:45

Mon/Tue - 3:00

5:30

8:00

GRAVITY (PG-13) 3D Fri-Sun - 12:40 3:20 5:40 8:10 Mon/Tue - 3:20 5:40 8:10 THE BEST MAN HOLIDAY (R)

Fri-Sun - 12:50 3:40 6:30 9:20 at Plaza De Oro a one Mon -- 2:10 5:00 time 7:50 No Bargain Tuesday Pricing CAPTAIN PHILLIPS (PG-13) Tue - 2:10 5:00 Fri & Mon7:30 screening of a current film that has not played in the area.  FROZEN (PG) 2D: 7:30

Tuesday, November 26: Future Wednesdays  HOMEFRONT (R) 8:15

Sat/Sun - 2:00 4:45 No Show Tuesday

7:30

FREE BIRDS (PG) 2D

Fri-Sun - 12:10 2:30 4:50 December 4 - BROKEN CIRCLE Mon/Tue - 2:30 4:50 November 27 CAMINO REAL Wednesday, (NR) BREAKDOWN WADJDA (PG) 7:30 JACKASS PRESENTS: CAMINO REAL MARKETPLACE BAD GRANDPA (R) Hollister & Storke - GOLETA December 11 - MR. NOBODYFri-Sun (R) - 7:10 9:30 RIVIERA  THE HUNGER GAMES: 2044 Alameda Padre Serra - S.B. Mon/Tue - 7:40 CATCHING FIRE (PG-13) December 18 -12 LA GRANDE Tuesday, November(R) 26: YEARS A SLAVE (R) BELLEZZA Fri-Sun -

Fri & Mon/Tue - 5:00

8:00

No Bargain Tuesday Pricing

11:30 12:30 1:45 December 25 Sat/Sun - MUSCLE SHOALS  FROZEN - 2:00 5:00 8:00 3:50 5:10 6:10

10:30 2:50 7:10

(PG)2D: (PG)

7:20

 HOMEFRONT (R) 8:00 8:30 9:30 10:30 (NR) Mon/Tue 6 1 8 Sta t e St r e e t - S . B .

11:30 12:30 1:45 2:50 3:50 5:10 6:10 SBIFF 7:10 8 W. De La Guerraprice Pl. - S.B. Show your I.D. discounted  THE for HUNGER GAMES: admission 8:30 9:30 10:30 CATCHING FIRE (PG-13) Vince Vaughn is Playing on 3 Screens  DELIVERY MAN (PG-13) Fri-Sun Fri-Sun - 1:30 4:15 7:00 9:35 11:00 12:00 2:15 3:20 2 2 DELIVERY Courtyard Bar Open 5 N . F a i r v i eMAN w - G (PG-13) o l e ta 9 1 6 Sta t e St r e e t - S . B .

Mon/Tue - 2:45 5:30 8:15 5:40 6:40 9:00 10:00 11:45 2:15 4:50 7:30 10:10 Fri & Sat - 6:00 - 10:00 GRAVITY (PG-13) 3D THOR: THE DARK WORLD Mon/Tue Matthew McConaughey 1317 State Street 963-4408 THOR: THE DARK WORLD Fri-Mon - 2:50 5:10 7:30 Fri-Sun (PG-13) 2D: 2:15 3:20 5:40 6:40 9:00 DALLAS BUYERS CLUB (R) Tue - 2:50Fri-Sun 5:10 2D: (PG-13) 12:20 3:10 5:50 8:40  THE HUNGER GAMES: Fri-Sun 12:45 2:00 3:45 5:00 THOR: THE DARK WORLD 10:40 1:20 BAD 4:00 GRANDPA 6:40 9:40 Mon - 2:00 4:40 7:20 CATCHING FIRE (PG-13) JACKASS: 6:40 8:00 9:25 (PG-13) 3D: Fri-Sun - 2:00 Tue - 2:00 4:40 Fri-Mon - Mon/Tue 12:25 8:15 Fri/Sat Mon/Tue - 2:00 3:45 5:00 Mon/Tue - 3:10 1:20 4:00 6:40 9:40 (R) Tue - 12:25 1:00Fri-Sun 4:20- 11:20 7:40 4:40 10:50 LAST VEGAS 6:40 (PG-13) 8:00 2D: - 12:30on3:00 5:30 8:00 Playing 2 Screens Sun-Tue - 1:00 7:40 Fri-Sun FREE BIRDS (PG) 2D 7:204:20 10:10 ENDER’S GAME (PG-13) Mon/Tue - 3:00 5:30 8:00 12:35 3:05 5:30 Mon/Tue - 5:50 8:40 Fri-Sun Rachel McAdams...Bill Nighy 10:50 4:10(PG-13) 6:50 9:20 (PG-13)(R) 3D GRAVITY LAST 1:30 VEGAS ABOUT TIME ENDER’S GAME (PG-13) 3 7 1 H i t c h c o c k Wa y S .

B .

Mon/Tue 12:40 4:00 3:20 6:50 5:40 9:45 8:10 12:45 3:15 5:45Fri-Sun - 1:00 Fri-Sun - 11:10 1:50 4:30 7:10 3:20 4:45 5:40 7:40 8:10 Mon/Tue - 1:50 1:30 4:10 6:50 (PG-13) 9:20 Mon/Tue - 2:30DARLINGS 5:15 8:00 KILL YOUR (R) CAPTAIN PHILLIPS Fri & Mon/Tue - 7:45 8:00 THE BEST MAN HOLIDAY (R) Sat/Sun - 2:15 5:00 7:45 Fri-Sun - 12:50 3:40 6:30 9:20 Tuesday, November 26: Mon - 2:10 5:00 7:50 No Bargain Tuesday Pricing CAPTAIN PHILLIPS (PG-13) Tue - 2:10 5:00 Fri & Mon- 7:30  FROZEN (PG) 2D: 7:30 Sat/Sun - 2:00 4:45 7:30 FREE BIRDS (PG) 2D  HOMEFRONT (R) 8:15 No Show Tuesday Fri-Sun - 12:10 2:30 4:50

January 1 - A TOUCH METRO 4OF SIN PASEO NUEVO FAIRVIEW

ARLINGTON

FIESTA 5

PLAZA DE ORO

INTERMEZZO & A MOVIE

CAMINO REAL

CAMINO REAL MARKETPLACE Hollister & Storke - GOLETA

+

 THE HUNGER GAMES:

CATCHING FIRE

(PG-13)

Fri-Sun 11:30 12:30 1:45 3:50 5:10 6:10 8:30 9:30 10:30 Mon/Tue 11:30 12:30 1:45 2:50 3:50 5:10 6:10 7:10 8:30 9:30 10:30 Playing on 3 Screens

10:30 2:50 7:10

Wednesday, November 27  WADJDA (PG)

7:30

RIVIERA

+

+

2044 Alameda Padre Serra - S.B.

12 YEARS A SLAVE Fri & Mon/Tue - 5:00 Sat/Sun - 2:00 5:00

(R)

8:00 8:00

METRO 4

Mon/Tue - 2:30

4:50

JACKASS PRESENTS: BAD GRANDPA (R) Fri-Sun - 7:10 9:30 Mon/Tue - 7:40

Tuesday, November 26:

No Bargain Tuesday Pricing  FROZEN (PG) 2D: 7:20  HOMEFRONT (R) 8:00

PASEO NUEVO BURGERS • GOURMET FLATBREADS 8 APPETIZERS W. De La Guerra Pl. - S.B.  THE HUNGER GAMES: • CATCHING FIRE (PG-13) Vince Vaughn is FULL LIQUOR • SPECIALTY COCKTAILS  DELIVERY MAN (PG-13) Fri-Sun Fri-Sun - 1:30 4:15 7:00 9:35 11:00 12:00 2:15 3:20  DELIVERY MAN (PG-13) LOCAL WINES BY THE GLASS Mon/Tue - 2:45 5:30 8:15 5:40 6:40 9:00 10:00 11:45 2:15 4:50 7:30 10:10 THOR: THE DARK WORLD 2D: Fri-Sun (PG-13) 10:40 1:20 4:00 6:40 9:40 Mon/Tue 1:20 4:00 6:40 9:40 ENDER’S GAME (PG-13) Fri-Sun 10:50 1:30 4:10 6:50 9:20 Mon/Tue 1:30 4:10 6:50 9:20

6 1 8 Sta t e St r e e t - S . B .

2:15

Mon/Tue 3:20 5:40 6:40

9:00

THOR: THE DARK WORLD (PG-13) 3D: Fri-Sun - 2:00 Mon/Tue - 3:10 2D: Fri-Sun - 11:20 4:40 7:20 10:10 Mon/Tue - 5:50 8:40

Matthew McConaughey DALLAS BUYERS CLUB (R) Fri-Sun - 12:45 2:00 3:45 5:00 6:40 8:00 9:25 Mon/Tue - 2:00 3:45 5:00 6:40 8:00 Playing on 2 Screens

Rachel McAdams...Bill Nighy 819 ENDER’S ANACAPA STREET ABOUT TIME GAME (PG-13)

(R)

- 1:00 4:00 6:50 9:45 Fri-Sun 11:10 FROM 1:50 4:304PM 7:10 Fri-Sun HOURS: MON - -SAT TO CLOSE Mon/Tue - 1:50 4:45 7:40 Mon/Tue - 2:30 5:15 8:00 SAT LUNCH: 12PM - 4PM / CLOSED SUNDAY

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W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

You Have Your Hands Full

by Mara Peters Former editor for the fashion/lifestyle section of the New York

Post, Mara moved to London and worked as a contributing editor for the Daily Mail’s You Magazine, freelancing for Look Magazine, NY Post and the Style Magazine for The Sunday Times. To remain sane during diaper years she writes a mommy blog, You Have Your Hands Full – www.handsfullsb.com.

Living the Dream

I

typically run into Miles, the neighborhood kid who lives down the street, just as I open my bedroom door in the morning. Jackson has made a habit of waking up at 6:30am, knocking on Miles’ window and getting him up to practice lacrosse before school. As I’m putting on the coffee, they’re trekking through the house to play catch in the yard.

Then there’s Nikoa. If he hears any noise in our yard, he’ll typically jump the fence and come over to join in with Olivia and Teddy. The funny thing is that, even though they are all different ages (10, 9 and 8), they can spend hours together playing assassin in the yard or Legos in one of the kids’ rooms.

Finally, there is Pierce, who lives on the other side of us. At this point, his mom and I are co-parenting our youngest kids together. Charlie is always with his friend either at our house or theirs. Occasionally, Henry down the street joins in too. He has the extra attraction of a chicken coop and garden.

That is how we are rolling these days.

Our house is a revolving door of kids, sports equipment and an occasional animal. If I had a screen door it’d be banging, day and night.

And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

A Different Way

My kids’ life growing up is nothing like my own. I lived way out in the country, north of San Francisco, on a 14-acre farm.

Just like in a movie, we’d climb our long driveway and wait for the yellow school bus to take us to our teeny-tiny elementary school. There was no one around but the three of us: my older brother, my sister and me.

Some argue that only having each other as friends would lead to close relationships with my siblings, but I am not really close to either one. All I remember is the brutal quiet, the desperate need to escape and the lack of places to go.

And the isolation.

So, in a way, my life now is the fantasy I created in my mind when I was just ten years old. I love the fact that the kids, when looking for something to do, can go down the lane to play tag or pick fruit together. I can hear their laughter as I fire up the BBQ for dinner. So many of our afternoons at home are spontaneous with friends of all different ages, seeking each other out to kill a couple of hours.

Alpha finds our house comical at times. We never know who is coming or going for dinner but usually set an extra plate. When he gets home from work, he typically trips over someone or something in his path. Mainly he smiles when he hears the party in the back room of kids laughing because, in a way, we know that it’s not going to last forever.

And now I have the perspective as a parent. Thinking back to my time on the farm, I am acutely aware that my mom never had the support that I have.

Nikoa’s mom is always on hand to act as

The Friday night gang at Casa de Peters: From left, Charlie, Erica, Olivia, Nikoa, Miles and Jackson. (Pass the milk!)

the shuttle to the beach when the waves are good. And sometimes, she’ll even take his pack of friends too. Just the other day, one of Jax’s dudes, so desperate to surf, told his mom to call Josie, confident she’d come and pick him up.

“Do you pay Josie to drive kids to surf spots?” his mom asked me at school pick up.

“No, she’s my neighbor,” I told her proudly. “That’s what we do on my block.”

In contrast, my own mother raised us without that help or support and felt fairly desperate. My dad would leave in

the morning with the only car and she would have to fend for herself all day with three small kids.

Alone.

When the day drags, I tend to wander, just like the kids, maybe over to Fernanda’s house, where we can sit outside as the kids bounce on the trampoline. And sure enough, the day ends on a high note. Without a hint of witching hour.

Then all of us head home, smiling for the friendships and easy camaraderie.

And grateful to be setting an extra spot at the table.

Peters’ Pick

T

he season has definitely arrived. I can always tell because my email inbox is filled with different winter break options for the kids. This one caught my eye.

It’s a workshop before the break, at the Santa Barbara Museum of Art, on Saturday, December 14, from 9am – 3pm, for kids aged 5 – 12. During the day kids can either take the All Wrapped Up workshop and focus on hand-made cards and ornaments, or a Ceramic Workshop. Either one sounds like the foundation for great Christmas presents for the grandparents. SBMA ArtVentures, (805) 884-6441; www.sbmuseart. org (programs and events).

Up to $2.5 Million of FDIC Coverage In today’s financial environment, you may have concerns about FDIC coverage on your bank deposits. Call me today for a free copy of our publication, Maximizing FDIC Insurance Coverage, and for more information on our FDIC-Insured Bank Deposit Program.

Larry Harteck

Senior Vice President/Investments

(805) 957-1840

30 East Figueroa Street, Suite B Santa Barbara, California 93101

Investment Services Since 1890 The FDIC-Insured Bank Deposit Program provides up to $2.5 million of FDIC coverage (or $5 million for joint accounts as defined in the Insured Bank Deposit Program Terms and Conditions brochure), subject to any limitations. You should request and read the Terms and Conditions brochure carefully before choosing to partcipate in this program. FDIC insurance coverage pertains only to bank products available through Stifel Nicolaus. Investment products offered through Stifel Nicolaus are not FDIC-insured, not bank guaranteed, and may lose value.

Stifel, Nicolaus & Company, Incorporated | Member SIPC and NYSE

8 0 5 . 8 4 5 .1 6 7 3 | 1 3 3 E A S T D E L A G U E R R A S T R E E T | N O.1 8 2 | S A N TA B A R B A R A

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SANTA Byo urARBARA S KINNY gui de to

.com

SANTA BARBARA LIVING

ARTS & CULTURE Bring on the Books!

By Sylvie Butera Rich

B

ountiful and beautiful are these recently published books by Santa Barbara-based author JZ Bingham.

Bursting with colorful illustrations, Bingham’s children’s fiction series, entitled Salty Splashes Collection, includes such titles as Dreamy Drums – Trouble in Paradise, Isle of Mystery – Eyes of the King and Gansevort – The King and his Court. And if those titles don’t hook you, the rich stories and amazing artwork will. With humor, adventure and colorful characters, these books are the perfect holiday gift for the youngsters in your life.

Check them out at some of our local bookstores such as Granada Books, The Book Den and Chaucer’s. Happy reading! www.saltysplashes.com

STYLE FILE Hang in There

By Briana Westmacott It’s an art. No, a craft. Actually, it’s a splash of both art and craft with a bit of wine in there too! That’s the newest Flutter Workshop: The Art of Wreath Making.

On Thursday, December 5, join the Flutter team along with event designer Jill Remy and floral designer Anna LePley Taylor for a hands-on evening that incorporates wreath-making instruction with some wine from (and at) Carr Winery. The workshop will provide you with all the tools and tips you need to create your own one-ofa-kind holiday wreath. So don’t miss this opportunity to join Flutter Mag and their expert designers to help you keep your door dressed in style throughout the season.

Sign up for the workshop at: www. fluttermag.com/workshops.php.

WINE & DINE Nimita’s Cuisine

By Eve Sommer-Belin

Bhajias. Samoosa. Kitchadi. Cachumbar.

Completely unfamiliar terms? Discover what these Indian foods are with Nimita Dhirajlal of Nimita’s Cuisine.

Nimita has been showing the world how to create delicious vegetarian Indian dishes for over 17 years. Learn her secrets through one of her cooking classes where you’ll be transported to lands of spices and flavors you may not have discovered before. Nimita’s Cuisine is all about appreciating the bountiful local ingredients Santa Barbara has to offer through her delightful dishes.

Using ancient Ayurvedic principles in the creation of all her recipes, Nimita brings healthy and cleansing ingredient-spice combinations to your palate and body, leaving you

N OV E M B E R 2 2 – 2 9 | 2 0 1 3 |

WEEKEND GUIDE • LOVE IS FREE

BY

the

39

SANTA BARBARA SKINNY

.com

What: Where: When: Why:

Summerland’s Holiday Open House Summerland (of course!)

Saturday, November 23, 12pm – 8pm Enjoy tasty treats, sips, live music and good old-fashioned holiday cheer! Shops and restaurants will also be offering a host of special promotions and one-day only specials.

Meet, mingle… and shop!

How:

the

• LOOSE CHANGE

SANTA Byo urARBARA SKINNY gui de to

What’ll It Cost Me: Free to attend..com Shopping will cost you!

SANTA BARBARA LIVING

What: Eat SAMAthing Special Where: Sama Sama Test Kitchen, 1208 State Street When: Dinner is Monday thru Saturday, 5 – 11pm; brunch is Saturday and Sunday, 11am – 3pm.

Why: Trust us. It’s good grub.

How: Delight in exquisite stir fries, salads, rice bowls and even fresh cocktails like the Pluot Negroni or Blue-Ginger Margarita.

What’ll It Cost Me: Approximately $30 per person.

• HEY BIG SPENDER What: Where: When: Why:

Shop Asher Market’s New Showroom 637 Chapala Street Saturday, November 23, 10am – 1pm Local sisters Ashley and Erin Hayes just opened their first brick and mortar showroom showcasing their super soft (and chic) alpaca wares and market accessories.

How: Shop gorgeous alpaca throws, baby blankets, ponchos, scarves and more.

What’ll It Cost Me: You’ll want to splurge on this one-of-a-kind luxury love. Mention Santa Barbara Skinny and the Sentinel and save 10% on fall throws.

feeling well-nourished and cared for. Change things up this holiday season and choose Nimita’s Cuisine to cater a festive lunch, private event, business luncheon or office party.

The amazing flavors and colorful plates will wow your guests. (Curries, chutneys and chapati… oh my!)

Who says vegetarian cuisine has to be bland? Spice up your holiday season with Nimita’s Cuisine!

Find her next cooking class and learn more about her catering and fresh meal delivery services at www. nimitascuisine.com.

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W W W. S A N TA B A R B A R A S E N T I N E L .CO M

by John D. Kelley

John is an award-winning architect who specializes in healthy, environmentally-friendly home design. As a concerned citizen he advocates for immediate action to reduce the impacts of climate change by reducing greenhouse gas emissions. A former President of AIA Santa Barbara, he is a member of several local volunteer groups including: The Sustainability Project, Green Building Alliance, Mesa Architects, and Citizens Climate Lobby. He can be reached at jdkaia@cox.net

Do We Need A Revenue-Neutral Carbon Tax?

T

he new “Indicators of Climate Change in California” report by the California Office of Environmental Health Hazard Assessment tracks 36 indicators of changing climate across the state. The accompanying info-graphic presents eight examples of the alarming changes that are occurring. Sam Delson, spokesman for EHHA, says, “The nature of these changes is that they are occurring gradually, but the impacts are significant and growing.”

One of these changes is that the 100 glaciers remaining in California’s Sierra Nevada are shrinking. For example, Yosemite’s Lyell Glacier, the headwater of the Tuolumne River watershed, has dropped 62% of its mass and lost 120 vertical feet of ice in the last century. Greg Stock, the Yosemite’s geologist, says, “We give it twenty years or so of existence – then it’ll vanish, leaving behind rocky debris.”

No human argument will prevent ice from changing into water when the temperature shifts from 32 degrees Fahrenheit to 33 degrees Fahrenheit. The climate of our planet is not controlled by our wishes and opinions; it only responds to the natural forces that drive it. There is scientific consensus that the climate changes we are experiencing are caused by carbon dioxide and other greenhouse gases produced by human activities.

So how can we significantly reduce our greenhouse gas emissions to temper the impacts of climate change?

As individuals we can make personal choices to reduce our carbon footprint, but we also need policy changes to shift our country’s economy from carbon fuels to clean, renewable energy sources.

A growing number of people believe that a national carbon tax is the most efficient, transparent and enforceable mechanism to drive an effective and fair transition to a clean energy economy. To make the economic transition as smooth as possible, the tax would start small and increase annually and predictably. At the same time, fossil fuel subsidies would be phased out. This would make energy prices predictable for individuals and businesses over time.

Making the carbon tax revenue-neutral would reduce our greenhouse gas emissions while protecting American families and businesses from higher energy prices. The essence of this concept is to tax carbon production and return 100% of the proceeds equally to all households.

Because this idea is both equitable and market-driven, it is gaining support across the political spectrum.

A national carbon tax would be simple to administer.

The tax would be charged at first point-of-sale, the mine, wellhead or border crossing, and would be collected by the IRS. The funds would be placed in a Carbon Tax Trust Fund and rebated to American families and businesses.

All households would receive equal monthly dividends and families would also receive one-half share per child under 18 years old, with a limit of two child-shares per family. It is estimated that 70% of families would see some net increase in income.

A national carbon tax would be reconciled with existing state programs, such as California’s cap and trade system.

There are several ways this could be done: Preemption, Stacking and Integration. In Preemption, the state program would cease to function once the federal law took effect. In Stacking, the program would continue to

function as-is on top of the federal regulations. In Integration, the state and federal programs would work together.

Tariffs and rebates would ensure that U.S.-made goods would remain competitive in international markets. Carbon tax equivalent tariffs would be charged for goods entering the U.S. from countries without equivalent carbon pricing. Carbon tax rebates would reduce the price of exports to those same countries. These tariffs and rebates would provide an incentive for international adoption of carbon taxes.

Five years ago, British Columbia implemented a revenue-neutral carbon tax. It gradually added to the cost of fossil fuels while cutting both personal and corporate income taxes. A recent study reports that B.C.’s “use of petroleum fuels has dropped by 15.1%.” The study also finds that B.C.’s “personal and corporate income tax rates are now the lowest in Canada, due to the carbon tax shift.”

Perhaps we are finally approaching a political tipping point regarding climate change policies. Currently, the Environmental Protection Agency is under court order to issue climate change rules. The fossil fuel industry is fearful of what the EPA may do, so there is a new congressional debate over climate change policy.

As part of this national debate, a revenue-neutral carbon tax must be considered.

It would be efficient, transparent and enforceable because market decisions would select the best clean energy programs and technologies, and the dividends would stimulate the economy. By acting now to implement a revenue-neutral carbon tax, we can create a stronger economy and ensure a more livable climate for our children and grandchildren.

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...continued from p.16 that would no doubt do us proud as a leading travel destination of the world. I really looked forward to finally seeing the terminal first-hand.

What the hell happened? Where are the mythical wonders to the eye?

I have since learned that the old terminal wing does have a nice café and gift shop so you can eat and buy a magazine or book.

Yet are these amenities only available to domestic flight passengers? The old wing is a long way away.

Let me set the stage inside the new terminal for you: My ticket is to Italy. After checking in at 5am for my very early morning flight and hoping for a proper breakfast since no meal will be served on my short Phoenix leg, I walk up the stairs from the barren ticket agent chamber, not even a fern, through empty walled halls to an equally barren passenger waiting area. Just one stand-up coffee concession awaits me, period. Not even a table to relax at anywhere in sight. Just a huge, utterly charmless chamber with rows of gray chairs. No effort to arrange them interestingly, no color variations, no nooks with pleasant cushions, no pictures, no art, no sculpture, no plants… NO NOTHIN’, NO WHERE, NO HOW, folks.

Hell, why not just install a take-anumber dispenser at the entrance and we’ll all feel just like we’re waiting for a window at the DMV, Social Services, or a court hearing for God’s sake! Maybe they haven’t finished the place yet? Maybe the lovely new amenities are only in the arriving passenger area, a treat at least for visitors from afar to Paradise by the Pacific?

I plan to withhold final judgment, though now badly tarnished, for my return from a requisite two stop-over flight going to and coming back from Buon Giorno land. Why two stops both ways? Because that’s all you can get out of Santa Barbara. And I want no more of the damned shuttle to LA, a waste of at least a hundred bucks and four to five hours of beastly boring and tired time coming and going, just to get a non-stop flight abroad. That bloody nuisance still hasn’t been corrected.

Okay, maybe Karen had no control over it. So I spend two hours waiting for my flight in a dark and eerie giant chamber.

What a let down after all the publicity.

I return from Italy two weeks later, arriving at our American Riviera and trusting that its grand new terminal will at least reward overseas visitors with the promised art and displays in the arrival area. Forget it. This isn’t an airline terminal. It’s a gigantic bus station… fiftyfive frickin’ million dollars worth of bus station with one mural to its name above a single stairway to the echo chambers upstairs. That’s it, and to be sure I’m not blind, I turn around and go back to check it all out again.

Yep, that’s it.

Am I the only one, other than my art

director friend, who is also dismayed by this? Just to be sure neither of us is crazy, I query a group of friends I meet every Sunday morning to share good company at Cold Spring Tavern. I ask one of our younger participants, mid 40s, about the airport terminal. I don’t tell him why.

He had gone to the opening ceremonies with his still younger new lady friend.

They both were shocked and hated it. He especially remembers with fondness the old one and how warm and fun it was. I then asked one of our many old timers, people like me who have known this city since the fifties, what he thought of it.

He turned to me and summed it up this way, “It looks like a train station in Kansas.” I dare say Kansas could do without the insult, but you get the point.

No, I am not alone, far from it.

Goodbye, Karen. Will our carefully pensioned and perpetuated city managers move another veteran of civic government into your slot? If Cottage Hospital could raise some bucks for proper art, you damn well could have too. It takes far more than beam ceiling stencils and an entryway floor mosaic to create an inspired environment. Come on! The place is empty! We’re supposed to be inspired by big arches? The Romans had ‘em. This is something new and improved?

Further, the opportunity to fill this mammoth void with great art at bargain rates was presented to you years ago. That opportunity still exists in this community of highly talented people who just want to make a living with their skills. Did you expect accomplished painters, sculptors, photographers and whoever else to cavalierly donate all their work? How romantic. Let’s hope your successor gets real. Although the Romans did indeed use it, slave labor is out.

What a travesty for this city’s grandly fanfared first point of contact. Who actually took home the giant pay off for this cavernous fiasco while nongovernmental working class citizens here, without guaranteed salaries or pensions, continue to struggle for food and rent money?

A Concerned Citizen hoped for far better in this lovely city. We certainly deserve it and so do our millions of visitors every year. Fifty-five million dollars should damn well have gone miles further. The only excuse lies in the distant possibility that there is much more to come and it has been properly paid for up front, without handouts from already beleaguered artists.

Attention incoming Airport Director: We await the fine installations we richly deserve. So get with it promptly, please.

A Concerned Citizen Santa Barbara (Editor’s Note: Wow, A Concerned Citizen, that’s quite a rant. I suppose I can’t say I’m overly impressed by the airport, either, but I hadn’t taken it quite so personally. Perhaps I should have, though: Them are some of my hard-earned dollars

that were used to build the place.

I recall the tiny old terminal fondly and flew in and out of it dozens of times over the years. Change is hard, especially big change, so give the new terminal some time to grow on you. It just might. In the meantime, one can only hope for a proper restaurant and something beautiful to appreciate while waiting for a flight to Italy. Thanks for writing. – MSM)

Injunction Dysfunction

This editorial is a rebuttal to Sharon Byrne’s piece, Debunking the Injunction, that appeared in the Sentinel on November 1, 2013 (Vol. 2, Issue 42). This editorial scrutinizes her arguments attacking the validity of a report concerning the costs to the city for the injunction as well as her assertion that a cost analysis of city salaries is of dubious import.

Ironically enough, Sharon Byrne calls into question the authenticity of a document detailing the costliness of Santa Barbara’s proposed gang injunction with the assertion that she is privy to an “unknown source.” This doesn’t stop her from declaiming in the same breath that this document “lacks footnoting, formal title” or proper attribution of sources thereby heavily insinuating that the report itself is dubious.

Unfortunately, Bryne’s [sic] opening salvo against the opponents of the gang injunction is largely due to her misapprehension of the significance of primary and secondary sources. As every undergraduate college student knows, primary sources are original documents, papers and materials from a source that is the subject of study. Secondary sources, on the other hand, analyze the information of primary sources. This is the basis of investigative research of whatever ilk.

According to Byrne, Poder has compiled a secondary report based on an unknown primary source. She implies that Poder has summarized data without providing supporting documentation from the proper authorities and insinuates that the cost estimates contained in the report are lacking in legitimacy as a result.

What Byrne fails to tell us is that the report is an ORIGINAL document provided by the City Attorney’s Office to Poder’s public records’ request for a cost analysis of the injunction. Byrne succeeds in obfuscating this fact by insisting that Poder is the author of the document when its actual author is the City Attorney’s Office. Had Byrne taken the time to verify her own sources of information, she would not have missed out on such an important detail.

She goes on to attempt to invalidate the arguments against the costliness of the gang injunction by declaring that “city staff salaries are paid annually, not by project.”

Again, she tries to obfuscate the City Attorney’s own clear record of the estimated hours spent by city officials working on the gang injunction. Though

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Bryne asserts that “this is just staff salaries that would have been paid regardless of what they worked on,” the fact is, time is money and together they point up the evident priorities of the city. At an estimated manpower expenditure of 7,000 + hours, city officials are obviously intent on criminalizing youth behavior rather than addressing the lack of program and resources that contribute to youthful delinquency. Therefore Poder is completely correct in it assertion that city officials have a predilection for incarceration rather than education.

In the final analysis, any argument for the proposed benefits of the gang injunction pales in the face of the inevitable lawsuits the city will be forced to settle when it is sued for violating the civil liberties of Santa Barbara’s Mexican youth.

Kathy Swift UCSB Graduate Student (Sharon’s Note: Uh Kathy, I myself went to grad school. I am writing for a local paper on government and political issues. Out here in the real world, not as part of academia.

I explained how I got a copy of a document forwarded by email with no annotations on it. It looked like it could be the source for the $500k figure I kept hearing. I submitted that document for publication, and it’s up online at www.sbview.com.

Apparently the producer of the document hadn’t heard of primary or secondary sources, or MLA either. There was no “City of Santa Barbara” stamp, author’s name or anything else.

So I called the City Administrator, Jim Armstrong. Now Kathy, sweetie, you can’t get more primary than that. This is the man who pays the salaries listed in the document.

The Source. When I explained what I was looking at, and ran the numbers by him, he said the city had provided salary and hour figures to Councilmember Cathy Murillo, in June 2012 or so. The figures I was looking at were through June 2012. Thus I accepted that the salary figures listed were probably from the city, though the document does not say who provided or compiled these numbers.

Interestingly, nowhere do I mention PODER. You do that. Thanks for letting us know who you’re working for. Also, it’s clear you don’t understand accounting. When budgeting for an organization, there are direct vs indirect costs. Direct costs are those expended directly in producing the product or service provided by the organization.

Food costs are direct cost for a restaurant.

Salaries are part of overhead, which are indirect costs, unless an employee’s time is directly billed to a specific project or client, for example, a doctor, architect or lawyer’s time. While I have no problem with your argument that staff hours worked to prepare the injunction reflect city prioritization, there was no separate bucket of money of $500,000, stripped from other programs or newly raised in taxes, that was used to pay for those hours. The $500,000 would have been spent on those salaries, regardless. Thus, ...continued p.44

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with Julie Bifano Ms Bifano is drawn to micro-fiction and is currently writing her first novel – “The Grace Below.” She has a B.A. in English with an emphasis in writing from the University of San Francisco and a M.F.A. in Creative Writing, also from the University of San Francisco. More of Julie’s stories and poetry can be viewed on her website juliebifano.com.

El Montecito School’s Evening of Thanksgiving

A

red carpet lined the entryway of the University Club on Saturday evening, November 9. The air was cool and crisp. I was entering the El Montecito School San Roque’s Evening of Thanksgiving fundraiser.

And I was pumped.

Once I got inside, I observed colorful hats on female attendees, which went along with the theme, “Quintessentially British.” There were even gentlemen who decided to dress up for the occasion. One man had a tall, furry black hat called a bearskin, traditionally worn with British military uniforms. Another gent wore a bowtie made out of the British flag pattern. The massive fireplace glowed in the living room-like setting, making attendees’ faces glow gold.

I met briefly with the chair of the event, Colette Nottage Crafton. Colette explained how great it was to work with such enthusiastic parents and staff.

“Seeing everyone step up and also support the school shows the very strong support staff behind the scenes,” she said. Having never heard of El Montecito School before the event, I was eager to learn more. Colette informed me that the nonprofit, small Christian school has been active for 56 years, and still has the goal of enriching children not just academically, but also emotionally and spiritually. She described the feeling of family from the El Montecito staff. This was clearly felt by other individuals as well. Later on in the evening, I had a chance to talk to attendee Heather Sage, who explained,

Tracey Larson and Karen Stone pose for a quick shot.

Event chair Colette Nottage Crafton and Stephen Crafton pose next to framed photos of El Montecito kids.

“Our school means the world to us. There are the sweetest, kindest people, and it is like dropping your kids off with family.”

After drinks and merriment, it was time to sit down to a Thanksgiving-style dinner.

Excited to have my first Thanksgiving supper, I devoured succulent prime rib with horseradish sauce and stuffing muffins. Yes, there were muffins made out of stuffing. I heard cowboy Tom yell out the enticing live auction items.

Colette Nottage Crafton, Laura Dinning and Monica Wilson show off the featured raffle item, Tahitian pearls set with diamonds.

Fun couples Lauren and Clay Beccue, and Kelly and Mark Meza enjoy the evening.

Jennifer and Kyle Muench pause for a photo after perusing enticing auction items.

Following the quintessentially British theme, Tristan and Tyler Hodges strike a pose.

Notable items included a hot chocolate club for kids at the school, where six kids would get to join teacher Mrs. Morgan for hot chocolate once a month from January to June, and a Lakers VIP package with four VIP tickets to see the Lakers vs.

Trail Blazers game, VIP entrance and VIP restaurant dining, as well as a VIP parking pass. As the evening went on, Jeff Stone, a board member and the Master of Ceremonies, came out dressed as the

Queen of England complete with gray, curly wig and lipstick.

Jeff explained how El Montecito had classes like guitar and violin, and an art program. Laughter and songs continued throughout the evening. The joviality of the night and the friendly family-like vibe made me consider El Montecito School as a possibility for my future children, and it was definitely clear that it is a little school with a very big spirit.

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...continued from p.41 touting that number around is more than just a bit of obfuscation on PODER’s part, if that is who is putting that out there, and according to you, it very much is.

And no, I won’t attempt the ridiculous mental gymnastics you do at the end of your trope: “Therefore Poder is completely correct in it assertion that city officials have a predilection for incarceration rather than education.” I live in a district that has suffered mightily the criminal acts of some of those named in the injunction. Murder committed by 25-year-olds is not in any way “youthful delinquency.”

My name is Byrne. Please try to reflect the good name of your institution and current level of education in spelling it correctly. – Sharon Byrne)

Corrections Department Dear Matt, I enjoyed your story about Lily and the Opera (Kids Say The Darndest Things…, Vol. 2, Issue 44), but there was a glaring mistake that jumped out at me.

You wrote, “Time passed and we laid next to each other in silence.”

Matt, you are a smart guy, so I know you know the difference between being colloquial and appearing ignorant.

You also know that there are a lot of smart people in Santa Barbara who want to take the Sentinel seriously. Careless inattention to grammar has the power to turn away readers.

So take a moment to “unlearn” an [sic] bad habit. Google “lay vs. lie” and always remember: -lay laid laid -lie lay lain Your readers WILL notice if you get it right next time!

David A. Peckham Santa Barbara (Editor’s Note: Thanks for the letter, David, it’s more timely than you know.

Believe it or not, we talk a fair amount about grammar around here; it’s no mystery that we bend the rules to fit our style, and we

are generally comfortable with that. Some will like it, others will not. We accept the consequences of our grammatical decisions.

The key to all of that, of course, is actually knowing the rules we are breaking so as to avoid the wrong side of the conundrum that we often discuss and that you so astutely noted: “The difference between being colloquial and appearing ignorant.” My guess is that you read us reasonably often and get what we are doing. I appreciate that.

I also appreciate your correction. You’re right, of course, and the error is mine. It’s no mystery that I write much as I speak in conversation, and “laid” – rather than “lay” – just sounds right to my ear in the offending sentence.

But that don’t make it right. (Grammar hawks be damned!) And I will do my best not to repeat the mistake.

Toward that end, I have put together a little story below that I hope you’ll enjoy.

Stanley and Meredith Go to Marriage Counseling (A Very Short Story) “I’m not well,” Stanley Broadwater proclaimed. “My head’s all woozy and I need to lie down right away.”

“Enough with the lies, Stanley.”

Meredith, Stanley’s wife, always sneered his name when she became impatient. “I’m sick of your aversion to work.”

“I’m not lying,” Stanley insisted and laid the dust mop down on the floor. “You lay down with a headache just yesterday and I didn’t say a word. Leave me alone.” He moped into the spacious living room and plopped down on the couch.

Time passed. Meredith soon grew tired of Stanley’s games.

“How long have you lain there?” she startled him.

“Ever since I laid the broom down in the kitchen.”

“Which broom?”

“That one, over there. I’ve laid it down and I’m not picking it up. I’m lying right here.”

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“Oh I know you’re lying right there. And that’s not a broom. It’s a dust mop.”

“Whatever. I’m just glad we’re clear. I’m lying right here.”

“Clear? No we’re not clear. You just admitted you’re a liar.”

“No I didn’t. I said I’m lying right here.”

“Exactly.”

“Exactly.” Meredith burst into tears and stormed out of the living room.

Stanley and Meredith started counseling the next day, where they have lain next to each other on a psychiatrist’s couch for hundreds of hours trying to work out their rather complicated relationship.

••• So, David, how’d I do? If poorly, well, at least I’m in the good company of Bob Dylan (“Lay Lady Lay”) and Eric Clapton (“Lay Down Sally”). Of course, Bob and Eric are songwriters; I purport to be an Editor-inChief. So there’s that.

Oh, please don’t take this the wrong way, it’s not meant as a tit-for-tat correction.

But a glaring mistake in your email jumped out at me: The misuse of “an” instead of “a” in front of the phrase “bad habit.” I won’t say anything more other than that careless inattention to grammar has the power to turn away readers. (Oh don’t take it so seriously, it’s a joke. I couldn’t help myself.)

Anyway, thanks for writing. Please keep reading. – MSM)

Crime Time Compliment (Maybe) Dear Matt, your November 15 Crime Time was very funny. I’ve read, to the affect, that humor is like throwing a snowball against a wall. If it doesn’t have substance, it won’t be good humor.

D.G. Vieira Santa Barbara (Editor’s Note: I won’t lie, D.G., I’m confused. I think that you mean that Crime Time has substance and thus is effective

comedic relief. I also think I’ve heard a saying that involves throwing snowballs and causing them to stick, but I can’t remember if that has anything to do with humor.

Regardless, you seem to have enjoyed Crime Time last week. For that, I am grateful. I hope we can keep throwing substantive snowballs at humorous walls with enough force to make them stick. Or something like that. Thanks for writing. – MSM)

I’m Like A Bird, I Wanna Fly Away…

Sea Birds at Dawn, Ron Atwood, Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Good morning, Matt. If there is an afterlife, I should like to return as a sea bird skimming the ocean at dawn.

Ron Atwood Santa Barbara (Editor’s Note: Thanks, as always, for the great capture, Ron. You’ve got me thinking: If there is indeed an afterlife, I should like to return as a grammatically perfect English professor. Or, I suppose, a seabird skimming the ocean at dawn. Probably the latter.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to finish my glass of wine and contemplate life as a majestic pelican. – MSM)

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Hope Ranch Area 4650 Via Roblada 975 Vista De La Mesa Drive 4638 Puente Plaza 1040 Portesuello Avenue 4013 Invierno Drive #B

Mesa

1409 Shoreline Drive 2321 Edgewater Way 628 Juanita Avenue 840 Flora Vista Drive 2051 Cliff Drive #3

Riviera

1850 East Las Tunas 50 Camino Alto 10 Rincon Vista 15 Loma Media Road

San Roque

3945 Stacy Lane 3765 Lincoln Road 3069 Calle Fresno 3666 Eileen Way 2821 Miradero Drive #B 3888 Nathan Road 3617 San Remo

Westside

1535 West Valerio Street 2139 Modoc Road 4128 Via Andorra

Goleta

355 Oak View Lane 20 Sanderling Lane 1072 San Marcos Road 937 Crown Avenue 50 Sanderling Lane 40 Sanderling Lane 475 Stanford Place 409 Via El Cuadro 6212 Momouth Avenue 7900 Hollister Avenue 280 North Fairview Avenue #2 45 Dearborn #48 357 Moreton Bay Lane #6

12-5pm 1-3pm 12-5pm 12-5pm 2-4pm 12-5pm 11-4pm 2-4pm

By Appt.

2-5pm

$2,600,000 $1,795,000 $1,459,000 $1,300,000 $899,000 $855,000 $850,000 $745,000 $649,000 $517,000

2bd/3ba 2bd/2ba 1bd/2ba 1bd/2ba 2bd/1ba 0bd/1ba 1bd/1.5ba 3bd/2ba 3bd/2.5ba 2bd/2.5ba

Alma Del Pueblo Sales Team Lynda Bohnett Alma Del Pueblo Sales Team Alma Del Pueblo Sales Team Darcie McKnight Alma Del Pueblo Sales Team Michael Calcagno & Nancy Hamilton Lynette Naour Julie Angelos Debby Rexford

845-4393 637-6407 845-4393 845-4393 637-7772 845-4393 451-4442 705-6539 403-5566 886-8773

Village Properties Sotheby’s International Realty Village Properties Village Properties Sotheby’s International Realty Village Properties Sotheby’s International Realty Village Properties Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices

12-4pm 2-4pm 1:30-3pm 1-4pm

$1,249,000 $1,249,000 $799,000 $625,000

3bd/2.5ba 3bd/2.5ba 2bd/2ba 2bd/2ba

Ron Harkey & Richard Naiman Lee Walsh Stephanie Wilson David Cohn

886-9871 886-0660 895-3270 214-8244

Village Properties Village Properties Sotheby’s International Realty Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices

2-4pm 1-4pm 1-4pm 1-3pm 1-4pm

$3,995,000 $1,295,000 $1,100,000 $826,500 $595,000

6bd/6ba 3bd/3ba 4bd/2ba 4bd/2ba 2bd/1.5ba

Grubb Campbell Group George Lambert Toni Kiraly Jamie Jo Sim Vicki Gorman

320-2465 729-4114 689-7976 689-5799 587-1616

Village Properties Sotheby’s International Realty Village Properties Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices Village Properties

1-4:30pm 2-4pm 1-3pm 1-4pm 1-4pm

$4,749,000 $1,550,000 $1,079,000 $799,000 $590,000

4bd/4ba 3bd/1.5ba 3bd/2ba 3bd/2ba 2bd/1.5ba

Gene Archambault Christopher W. Hunt Yolanda Van Wingerden Kathy Hughes Cathy Moseley 805.

455-1190 453-3407 570-4965 448-4881 570-6006

Sun Coast Real Estate Village Properties Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices Coldwell Banker

1-4pm 1-3pm 1-2:30pm 12-3pm

$3,195,000 $2,175,000 $1,825,000 $1,549,000

3bd/3ba 3bd/3.5ba 4bd/3.5ba 2bd/2ba

Tim Walsh Sue Irwin Ed Kaleugher Team Scarborough

259-8808 705-6973 963-1391 331-1465

Village Properties Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices Sotheby’s International Realty Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices

1-4pm 1-4pm 1-4pm 2-4pm 2-4pm 1-3pm 12-4pm

$1,299,000 $1,149,000 $1,325,000 $1,050,000 $535,000 $915,000 $760,000

4bd/2.5ba 3bd/2.5ba 4bd/2ba 3bd/2ba 2bd/1.5ba 3bd/2.5ba 3bd/2ba

Lori Ebner Cimme Eordanidis Laura Collector Joy Bean Suzanne Lawson Renye Stapelmann Jeani Hansen-Burke 805.

729-4861 722-8480 451-2306 895-1422 886-9316 705-4353 451-1429

Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices Village Properties Sotheby’s International Realty Sotheby’s International Realty Sotheby’s International Realty Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices Coldwell Banker

1-4pm 2-4pm 1-4pm

$1,125,000 $599,000 $489,900

3bd/3.5ba 2bd/1ba 2bd/2ba

Wilson Quarre John Luca Doug Van Pelt

680-9747 680-5572 637-3684

Sotheby’s International Realty Sotheby’s International Realty Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices

2-4pm 10-5pm 1-4pm 2-4pm 10-5pm 10-5pm 1-4pm 1-4pm 1-4pm 10-5pm 2-4pm 1-3pm

By Appt.

$1,095,000 $1,004,471 $989,000 $949,999 $925,000 $897,000 $885,000 $800,000 $659,000 $600,000 $429,000 $398,000 $349,000

4bd/3ba 4bd/3.5ba 3bd/2ba 4bd/2ba 4bd/3.5ba 3bd/3.5ba 4bd/2ba 4bd/2ba 3bd/2b 2bd/2ba 2bd/2ba 2bd/1ba 2bd/1.5ba

Linda Brown Lorie F. Bartron David Mires Marie Sue Parson 805.

Lorie F. Bartron879-5017 Lorie F. Bartron879-5017 Karen Olevsky 805.

Michelle Cook Sam Bayer Lorie F. Bartron879-5017 Gail Pearl & Michael Pearl Christina Ruelas Michael Pearl & Gail Pearl

666-9090 879-5017 705-8986 895-4866 879-5017 879-5017 680-9094 570-3183 222-0088 879-5017 637-6888 452-9931 637-9595

Sotheby’s International Realty Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices Sotheby’s International Realty Coldwell Banker Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices Coldwell Banker Sotheby’s International Realty Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices Sotheby’s International Realty Village Properties Sotheby’s International Realty

Member FDIC

Exceeding Expectations in Your Neighborhood

Adam Black | VP, Senior Loan Officer 805.452.8393 | ablack@bankofmanhattan.com

47

NEW LISTING NOTABLE OCEANFRONT ESTATE | WEB: 0592563 | $32,000,000 Michael Calcagno 805.896.0876, Nancy Hamilton 805.451.4442

JEWEL ON THE PACIFIC | WEB: 0592695 | $8,950,000 Adam McKaig 805.452.6884

MAJESTIC OJAI VILLA | WEB: 0632163 | $3,750,000 Lisa Clark 805.272.0018, Cameron Clark 818.606.4048

Exclusive Media Partnerships One-of-a-kind relationships. The most influential news outlets. Seen around the world.

EQUESTRIAN RETREAT | WEB: 0113746 | $3,500,000 Suzanne Perkins 805.895.2138

DOWNTOWN PENTHOUSE | WEB: 0592634 | $1,795,000 Michael Calcagno 805.896.0876, Nancy Hamilton 805.451.4442

EQUESTRIAN FACILITY | WEB: 0113749 | $1,699,000 Suzanne Perkins 805.895.2138

MOUNTAIN VIEW HOME | WEB: 0632082 | $899,000 Maureen McDermut 805.570.5545, Peggy Olcese 805.895.6757

SPACIOUS LUXURY RESIDENCE | WEB: 0592598 | $850,000 Michael Calcagno 805.896.0876, Nancy Hamilton 805.451.4442

SPANISH-STYLE TOWNHOME | WEB: 0592708 | $810,000 Justin Corrado 805.451.9969, Evelyn Cavins 805.689.7785

NEW PRICE

SANTA YNEZ VALLEY LISTINGS

EQUESTRIAN COMPOUND | WEB: 0621544 | $5,999,995 Patty Murphy 805.680.8571

WOODSTOCK ARTIST RETREAT | WEB: 0621540 | $1,795,000 Patty Murphy 805.680.8571

ALISAL RANCH | WEB: 0621558 | $589,000 Susan Beckmann 805.245.8141

SANTA BARBARA AREA BROKERAGES MONTECITO COAST VILLAGE ROAD | MONTECITO UPPER VILLAGE SANTA BARBARA STATE STREET | SANTA YNEZ VALLEY

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