The State of Real Estate by Montecito Journal

HURRAY FOR FUN(DING) P.10 BEAUTIFUL YOU P.20 GIRL ON FIRE P.26 INTERRUPTING INTERNET P.28

SANTA BARBARA

FRIDAY TO FRIDAY FORTNIGHTLY

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THE STATE OF REAL ESTATE Interest rates are near as low as they’ve ever been or are going to get; house prices remain reasonable, and rents are out of sight. If you’ve been waiting to buy a place to live, you really shouldn’t wait much longer; time is not on your side. (story begins on page 14)

Coming soon. Eight brand new homes close to Santa Barbara. Listed by Michael Calcagno

SAN ROQUE SHOOTOUT P.6 SECRET LIFE OF PLANTS P.29 Santa Barbara was once an untamed frontier free-for-all where bandits and sheriffs faced off in broad daylight, and yoga pants never went on sale. Seriously.

Green-thumb Randy Arnowitz takes a cue from horse and dog whisperers, advising that plants are all ears when you talk some horticultural sense into them. Member FDIC

Exceeding Expectations in Your Neighborhood

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OVER $100 MILLION SOLD IN 2014 YEAR-AFTER-YEAR #1 TEAM AT SOTHEBY’S INTERNATIONAL REALTY SANTA BARBARA/MONTECITO

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Content

COVER

Real Estate – This hasn’t been the case for a long time, but James Buckley proffers that it is now cheaper to buy something in Santa Barbara than it is to rent. Better hurry though. Once interest rates go up, it’ll be a completely different ball game.

Danish Restaurant & Bakery 1106 State Street • Santa Barbara, CA 805.962.5085

www.AndersensSantaBarbara.com Breakfast Lunch Dinner Outdoor Dining

High Tea Pastries Private Parties Jazz Music

P.5

S B View – Sharon Byrne surveys the supporters and protesters of El Bajio, and the opening of East Beach Tacos; Cheri Rae takes a shot at vaccines and medical care in general

P.6

S tate Street Scribe – Power’s struggle: Jeff Wing puts on his musty historical hat and documents the path of Irish lad John Power(s) in New York and Santa Barbara, circa mid-1800s

P.7

L etters – Dr. Steve Daniels on pain management and Sharon Byrne; Ben Dover and Alan Hurst revisit Trader Joe’s, while Jeff Wing responds; William Lockwood’s water world; and Lyle D. Medved gives his Generation X perspective

P.8

eer Guy – Zach Rosen shows his wild and sour side while learning B what’s brewing with Paul Rey, who handles quality analysis and control at Telegraph Brewing Co

P.10

The Fortnight – Never mind the East Coast weather, advises Jeremy Harbin, and instead focus on venues to visit, events in which to participate, and groups to support (UCSB Reads, The VADA Draw, and Accordionaires Orchestra) on our Central Coast

P.20 P.21 P.22

Stylin’ & Profilin’ – For Megan Waldrep, it had to be you – Beautiful You – and the Montecito company’s owner, Megan Simon

Behind The Vine – Hana-Lee Sedgwick raises a glass to Armada Wine & Beer Merchant on its one-year anniversary Man About Town – Mark Léisuré has a knack for knowing pen names such as Daniel Handler’s Lemony Snicket, with whom he converses; McFarland, USA comes into focus; and movies at UCSB

P.23 P.24

Voted Best Wine Shop for Six Years in a Row!

Plan B – Say cheese: Briana Westmacott is armed to the teeth with pliers and wire cutters, attempting “emergency” surgery on her daughter’s teeth Santa Ynez Valley Snapshot – Eva Van Prooyen has a dog-day afternoon with Rachel Hedges and LaPaws, and offers up best bets for upcoming events such as Solvang Century and the Los Olivos Wine Festival

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P.26

American Girl – Tommie Vaughn is ablaze while preparing for Girls on Fire, the March 7 event which includes 5K and 10K races, with co-director Karen Chaw at the starting line

P.28

The Bi-weekly Capitalist – Jeffrey Harding logs on, dissects the difference between Net Neutrality (a “scam”) and Open Internet, and gets to the bottom of web regulations

Santa Barbara

– Cheers, Bob, Betty & Dennis Hours: Mon-Sat from 11-7, Closed Sundays 3849 State St. in La Cumbre Plaza • (805) 845-5247

P.29

In the Garden with Mr. Greenjeans – Listen up: Randy Arnowitz takes a cue from dog whisperer Cesar Millan and suggests “listening” to plants and using horticultural common sense that will have them seeing green

P.30 P.31

Cinema Scope – James Luksic tries to make heads or tails about Black or White, Still Alice, The Loft, and – drumroll, please – the lucrative 50 Shades of Grey

Commercial Corner – Chris Parker and Austin Herlihy take stock of South Coast properties boasting 103 sales last year; SB County’s unemployment rate dips; and groundbreaking news on Entrada De Santa Barbara

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Santa Barbara’s Online Magazine, Published Twice Daily

sbview.com

Milpas on the Move

by Sharon Byrne

Mayor Helene Schneider hugs owner of El Bajio, Santos Guzman.

Julia, Tacos, and Turmoil

hanges are afoot on Milpas Street. We’ve done our first community forum on the proposed Business Improvement District for the Eastside. If you’ve not heard of business improvement districts (BID), the idea is simple: businesses organize into a district to assess themselves an annual fee and provide themselves services

like cleaning the area, putting up holiday decorations, and promoting the businesses in the district. It also provides a way for the little mom-and-pop shops to have a say in the future of the area, and boosts their competitiveness in the face of changing economic conditions. Cathy Murillo has made it her personal mission to derail the proposed business improvement district. On

Sharon Byrne

Sharon Byrne is executive director for the Milpas Community Association, and currently serves on the Advisory Boards for the Salvation Army Hospitality House and Santa Barbara County Alcohol and Drug Problems.

sbview.com February 15, we saw the ugliest face of the forces she has put in motion. Individuals active with PODER (People Organizing for Defense of Equal Rights) protested against a family-owned Latino business that has been active in making

the Eastside community nicer for families and who supports the business district proposal. Santos Guzman and the family at El Bajio care about making the eastside a safe, clean community for families. Santos led the charge to get the holiday lights back up on Milpas a few years ago. He was out in the roundabout at 5:30 am putting up lights on the solarpowered Christmas tree. He served hot chocolate to the families attending the Milpas Christmas Parade. He’s donated enormous amounts of food and catering to volunteers cleaning out encampments and community events. ...continued p.12

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STATE STREET SCRIBE by Jeff Wing

Jeff is a journalist, raconteur, autodidact, and polysyllable enthusiast. A long-time resident of SB, he takes great delight in chronicling the lesser known facets of this gaudy jewel by the sea. Jeff can be reached at jeffwingg@gmail.com

A Tree Grows in San Roque

n 1836, a nine-year-old Irish kid named John Power landed in Manhattan with his hopeful parents, disembarking the Ellis Island Ferry in a nondescript swarm of other exhausted immigrant pilgrims making the exodus from the darkling wars and privations of the Old World to the glowing blank slate of the New. The family and hundreds of others spilled into the million-gabled New York City, with its jammed tenements and dark alleyways and uncertain promise of reinvention. John’s kid-dreams and kid-potential would soon carburate into a combustible mix as the excited and untethered New American boy fell in with the sort of mischief-making toughs that have ever been the heartbreak of stressed parents everywhere. By his teens, John Power was a dangerously charming product of the Bowery and Hell’s Kitchen. When the Mexican-American War broke out in 1846, a call went out in New York for volunteers to head west and help the U.S. cause. John and his unshaven friends saw an opportunity and grabbed with both hands. His bad behavior would find its culmination, and the beginnings of a denouement, seven years later and thousands of miles away, at the base of a Sycamore tree near the corner of State and Ontare, here in Santa Barbara. You know, near Jeannine’s bakery. Power’s Company F of the New York Regiment made their way to Santa Barbara the old-fashioned way, sailing around Cape Horn. When they arrived in Santa Barbara, they found that General Fremont and his men had already driven Mexican forces out of Santa Barbara. The newly self-christened Jack Powers took a EARTHQUAKE RETROFITTING 50 + YEARS EXPERIENCE - LOCAL 35+ YEARS

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languorous look around and saw that the possibilities were pretty much what he’d imagined. Heading to San Francisco, already the gold-leaf mayhem capital of the West, Powers gambled and murdered his way into infamy. When he left the City by the Bay he did so hurriedly, with a lynch mob at his heels. Back in Santa Barbara, he landed a great gig with the highly respected de la Guerra family as their horse whisperer and all-around equine caretaker. It was like putting a bank robber in charge of 30 high-octane getaway cars. With de la Guerra’s horses and a network of entrepreneurial cutthroats, Powers soon made the stretch of Camino Real between Santa Barbara and SLO one of the more profitably bloody routes in the state. Known for his crazy-cool horsemanship, both in handling and in sheer velocity, Powers had once set a seemingly impossible land speed record for the day, riding 150 miles in six hours, nearly unheard of at the time. Naturally, he brought this talent to bear on No Good. William Twist was a guy with a mission and, it must be said, a cool name; though the coolness factor may have been lost on the waxed mustache set. Twist had also

come over to Santa Barbara as a volunteer with New York’s Stevenson Regiment, but that’s about all he and the overripe Jack Powers had in common. Their paths would cross spectacularly. Powers and his Louseketeers had holed up on someone else’s property in Santa Barbara, overtaking an abandoned building in San Roque Canyon, underneath the present day Foothill Road. Bridge over Stevens Park. It fell to Santa Barbara’s recently appointed Sheriff W.W. Twist to head over there and take out the garbage, as Stallone or someone might say. Twist knew Powers by his habits and assembled 200 or so men to help him get the Powers gang off the land. Powers, though, a fan of the “One Step Ahead” school of personal betterment, sent some guys over to where the posse

Powers had also learned of a seething gang of pissed-off vigilantes from SLO coming down to turn the lights off. Ruthless and brave and cunning Powers was. A moron he was not. was assembling, at today’s 27 East Carrillo Street. Powers’s tactless tacticians showed up waving pistols, and a couple of them were summarily shot off their horses by the riled-up posse, but one of the bad guys got to Sheriff Twist and put a knife in his back, inflicting a wound that didn’t kill Twist but took him out

Publisher/Editor • Tim Buckley | Design/Production • Trent Watanabe Managing Editor • James Luksic | Opinion • sbview.com Columnists Shop Girl • Kateri Wozny | You Have Your Hands Full • Mara Peters Plan B • Briana Westmacott | Food File • Christina Enoch Commercial Corner • Austin Herlihy | The Weekly Capitalist • Jeff Harding Man About Town • Mark Leisure | In The Garden • Randy Arnowitz The Beer Guy • Zach Rosen | Elevator Pitch • Grant Lepper Girl About Town • Julie Bifano | In The Zone • Tommie Vaughn Mad Science • Rachelle Oldmixon | Cinema Scope • James Luksic Stylin’ & Profilin’ • Megan Waldrep | 15 Days • Jeremy Harbin State Street Scribe • Jeff Wing | Holistic Deliberation • Allison Antoinette Up Close • Jacquelyn De Longe | Behind The Vine • Hana-Lee Sedgwick Advertising/Sales Tanis Nelson • 805.689.0304 • tanis@santabarbarasentinel.com Sue Brooks • 805.455.9116 • sue@santabarbarasentinel.com Judson Bardwell • 619.379.1506 • judson@santabarbarasentinel.com Kim Collins • 805.895.1305 • kim@santabarbarasentinel.com Published by SB Sentinel, LLC PRINTED BY NPCP INC., SANTA BARBARA, CA Santa Barbara Sentinel is compiled every other Friday 133 EAST DE LA GUERRA STREET, #182, Santa Barbara 93101 How to reach us: 805.845.1673 • E-MAIL: tim@santabarbarasentinel.com

of the picture for the coming drama on Ontare. The steamed posse raced over to Powers’s San Roque redoubt and were met with a warning hail of bang-bang and Powers’s explicit promise that should any one of them take a step past a large sycamore tree there, that hapless posse member would be ventilated with flying lead. The tree in question is now believed to be one of the large Sycamores around 134 N. Ontare. The posse demurred, turning their horses around to schlump back to town. But enough was enough. Within days, the governor of California ordered a U.S. Navy warship to toddle down the coast from Monterey and drop anchor off West Beach. “Shall I order the Marines ashore, Mr. Powers?” Powers had also learned of a seething gang of pissedoff vigilantes from SLO coming down to turn the lights off. Ruthless and brave and cunning Powers was. A moron he was not. When several days later a jittery messenger arrived with an instrument of negotiation, Powers greeted him warmly and signed the paper. And the story ends with a spoiler alert. Jack Powers, following years of variously tickling the locals pink with his charming exploits and then shooting them in the back for their gold, was eventually hounded out of the area by a fatigued victim pool. He became a successful rancher in Mexico and then, not completely predictably, was shot to death in a fight over a woman and his body fed to penned wild boars. No kidding. And Twist? After more so-so law enforcement in the American Riviera, Twist was finally made to resign as sheriff. Why? Picture this: a Native American gentleman has been found guilty of murder and is due to be hanged, though the facts of the case have induced interested parties and friends to petition the California governor for a commutation of the sentence to life in prison. A ship is said to be coming down the coast at full steam with the signed commutation, but the hanging party can’t wait and begin to string the fellow up. At the last minute, a guy races up on his horse and, using a roughly hewn species of Parliamentary hooha, argues for a temporary stay of the execution on the grounds that the commutation is likely aboard the ship that is set shortly to arrive. Twist grumblingly allows the stay, the ship arrives with the commutatio, and the nearly hanged gentleman is remanded to life in prison, to the relief of many. This time, Powers had used his vaunted speed on horseback to prevent a killing, and the frustrated townspeople of Santa Barbara fired Sheriff Twist for capitulating. Ain’t life grand?

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Letters

Although you might not believe it, we actually want to hear from you. So if you have something you think we should know about or you see something we've said that you think is cretinous (or perspicacious, to be fair), then let us know. There's no limit on words or subject matter, so go ahead and let it rip to: Santa Barbara Sentinel, Letters to the Editor, 133 East De La Guerra Street, No. 182, Santa Barbara, California 93101. You can also leap into the 21st century and email us at tim@santabarbarasentinel.com.

Dr. Feeling Good

haron Byrne’s disquisition on “Pain Management” in the February 7-21 issue is wellintentioned, and she is certainly correct in her distrust of Big Pharma. Pharmaceutical companies are business entities whose motive is profit, and there is ample proof, including multiple fines and lost legal cases in which they have been involved, to justify a suspicion that patient welfare is not their primary concern. However, Ms. Byrne is wrong to assert that “the rush to aggressively manage pain by medical professionals (is) probably an evolution of my old doc’s tendency to write prescriptions for antibiotics....” Over-prescription of antibiotics is a widespread and serious problem in the U.S., but provision of analgesics actually is less so. In fact, until the last couple of decades, under-utilization of pain medicines was rife, due in large part to fear on the part of doctors, that their patients might become addicted to narcotics. Consequently, undertreatment of pain in sufferers of cancer, post-operative, and chronic pain was common. (Minorities and women were particularly under-treated.) Prescription analgesic abuse and addiction, and physician overprescribing, are indeed problems, but the vast majority of patients, including “sensible, reasonable, professional people” who receive analgesics – including narcotics – need them, do not abuse them, and do not become addicts. Steve Daniels, M.D. Santa Barbara

Trader Joe’s

I am writing in response to Jeff Wing’s recent article (“The Beast That Scientific America Built”, Sentinel 4/2) in your publication. I can only take Mr. Wing’s comments about the market in a satirical and tongue-incheek way, assuming that he is not to be taken seriously. Our family frequents the De La Vina location several times per week, via bicycle, to avoid the often-crowded parking lot. We find their produce and everyday products to be superb and fair-priced. More often their items are environmentally friendly – lacking GMO-related products, fair-traded, and organic. If one were to poke fun, there are

other markets, locally, where I can’t imagine how much it would be to fill one’s cart, and you wouldn’t catch me shopping at Ralph’s, Vons, or Gelson’s. Take a little better look around the next time you shop and compare, Mr. Wing. You would be surprised how often you will be shopping the De La Vina store. See you there! Ben Dover Santa Barbara (Jeff Wing responds: Mr. Dover, thanks for your letter, I’ve been waiting for you to write. I am moved by your spirited defense of our eccentric homegrown General Store, but I must respond to your comment that “…their items are environmentally friendly – lacking GMO-related products, fair-traded, and organic.” Yes, that’s all very well, Mr. Dover, but you are clearly looking the other way as Trader Joe’s overextends its practice of procuring items whose limited supply guarantees the “boutique membership” experience for which TJ’s is known. Their Endangered Birdies Bacon Bits are, if not legally actionable, then morally off-putting and too salty by half. And the melt-in-your-mouth quality of Yukon Joe’s Large-Eyed Baby Seal Jerky is hardly the point. The point is this: when the last West Indian Manatee is gone from the Earth, what creature’s post-cranial bones will we then be able to grind into a useful poultice for the salving of our yoga bunions? Think about that, Mr. Dover. I ask you to dwell. On. That. – J.W.)

meet there? Growwwwl Alan Hurst Santa Barbara (Jeff Wing responds: Mr. Hurst, thanks for writing, and for supporting both my quest for the Pulitzer and the heart-slowing nature of my Trader Joe’s piece. And for calling me “Wing Man”. Pretty cool. I see you’re interested in appearing blasé about my column, but my many many readers would surely say to you, “Oh, Mr. Hurst I guess you didn’t bother to read the Wing Man’s piece about the time he bought a ladder.” As for your unsavory and politically explosive comments about the makeup of the Trader Joe’s insider, I would remind you that the defamatory, chauvinistic, and objectifying term “Cougar” has been retired, thank goodness. The prowling and frankly predatory woman-things that hunt and gather in the slanted aisles of the De La Vina TJ’s deserve better. “Ring-my-bell-ding” indeed. Yours, Jeff “Wing Man” Wing, man. – J.W.)

discontinued using them. When I take a shower, I simply wipe myself dry with the wash cloth, wringing it out periodically. Mission accomplished. As it probably takes at least a gallon of fresh water to launder a bath towel, I’ve been saving Santa Barbara 365 gallons of water every year. Multiply that by the 88,000 current residents of our fair city, and that should be enough to replenish the water in most those cocktail-contaminated swimming pools in Montecito. Sincerely, William G. Lockwood Santa Barbara (Publisher’s note: We are sure Montecito appreciates your concerted efforts to keep their “cocktail-contaminated swimming pools” full. Maybe you should take it a step further and stop bathing altogether; perhaps then you could fill their Jacuzzis as well. – T.L.B.)

Now that we are in the throes of the drought of the millennium, allow me to float a proletariat suggestion to save water that I’ve never seen floated before. Years ago, I noticed that a sizable bulk of my laundry was bath towels, so I

A cartoon appeared in the Santa Barbara News-Press not so long ago titled “Kids”: it contrasted what was on the minds of the average American and Chinese

Rise of the Millennials: A It All Comes out in the Wash Generation X Perspective

...continued p.31

Santa Barbara Seafood Pasta

Joe and Jeff

I’ve got something to say about the topic of “Trader Joe’s” since it has been such a meaningful subject in your paper most recently – one which the esteemed editors apparently think their “Wing” man, Jeff Wing, so aptly deserves the Pulitzer Prize for writing about… (yawn). Come on! Every employee at Trader Joe’s is 100-percent Anglo-American (white). Haven’t you noticed? Collegedegree-holders, earning moderately low wages, having blond-haired kids, driving Volvo station wagons, dangerouslyapproaching-has-been-soccer agedmoms, Arian gingerbread promoters, a la I-knew-that-guy-in-high-school-20years-ago, wanna-have-an-affair-withhim, ring-my-bell-ding! And, by the way, did anybody say anything about all those cougars to

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by Zach Rosen

QA/QC Day with Brewer Rey

ild, or sour, beers are one of the hottest styles in the craft beer world right now. These beers can be aged for years in wooden barrels and are some of the most difficult brews to produce. Normal beers are usually fermented with only one kind of yeast. Any other microorganism is considered wild and can produce undesired flavors in the beer. In sour beers, the beer is purposefully fermented with these wild yeasts to produce a highly complex set of sour, musty, and fruity flavors that entice the beer geek’s palate. This unique flavor comes at a price. One mistake, and the sour beer brewer can contaminate his entire brewery with these wild microorganisms. This means that proper quality analysis and quality control (QA/QC) processes are vital for the brewery if they are to attempt a sour beer. We have the good fortune of having Telegraph Brewing Co in our neighborhood. Telegraph’s sour beers have won major awards in international competitions and gained the respect of the brewing community. Brewer Paul Rey is in charge of Telegraph’s sour beer program, and I recently had the treat of getting to observe one of his QA/QC sessions.

A Risky Endeavor

I cannot emphasize enough how dangerous having sour beers in a brewery can be. It is standard protocol for breweries producing both regular and sour beers to use separate equipment and even separate fermenter rooms. In the case of Telegraph, they have a barrel room that keeps all of the sour beer isolated from the brewery. Their old bottling machine is now designated for sour beers only. This allows them to safely produce sour beers in the brewery without contaminating their regular ones. Telegraph’s barrel room can fit about 50 casks in it, and this amount of space allows them to do larger-scale sour beer projects in addition to small one-off beers. As barrels are emptied, they are immediately refilled to keep the intended bugs active and healthy and any unwanted microorganisms from invading the empty home. This means that many of the barrels will get used over and over – changing the flavor contribution of each barrel and

Zach Rosen is a Certified Cicerone® and beer educator living in Santa Barbara. He uses his background in chemical engineering and the arts to seek out abstract expressions of beer and discover how beer pairs with life.

Paul Rey taking samples in the barrel room

the microorganisms that inhabit them with each fill. Over time, each barrel will develop its own culture and flavor. A large batch of sour beer will often be blended together before bottling to give all of the bottles and kegs a consistent flavor.

Time for Some Beers

QA/QC for sour beers is a bit different than with regular beers. In a standard beer, the sensory analyst is searching for any off-flavors, and the taste is being compared to its “normal” character. Sour beers are much more of an art. The cellar master (person in change of tending to the barrels) will routinely taste the beer to monitor how the microorganisms are changing it. If one flavor is becoming out of balance, they can sometimes add other microorganisms to counteract the off-balance or smooth out the flavors. Only some flavors can be changed this way. For the most part, the process is just to check in with the beer and see how it is progressing. Time and patience are the cellar master’s best friends and most important tools. They mostly just have to wait until the beer tastes “right” and its flavor matches their vision for what it should be like. Liquid evaporates from the porous wood, so sampling the barrel is often an opportunity to top off the beer without further risking outside contamination. The first two sour beers we sampled were Belial and Vladimir Vysotsky.

Don’t look for these names on any labels. Brewers will often have nicknames for beers and especially for sour beers, wherein you need to keep track of individual barrels and different projects. These nicknames are just used whimsically within the brewery and rarely end up on the label. Belial is named after an archaic demon and uses their White Ale as a base with raspberries added to the barrel. It had been aged on the microorganism, Brettanomyces (often just called Bretts), for a little over a year, so Paul was optimistic that it would be close to finished. And it was. The mild sweetness was in perfect balance with a lactic tartness. The raspberry flavor was full and bright with a juiciness reminiscent of Jolly Ranchers. Paul was pleased, and we all agreed that there was not much room for improvement. Vladimir Vysotsky, named after the esteemed Russian singer-songwriter, is a similar raspberry-based project. This beer was not as far along the process as Belial. It had a little more funkiness in the nose and was less acidic, making it come off as a little sweeter and juicier than Belial. The beer was clearly coming together nicely and getting close but possibly needs a little more time. This would allow the souring microorganisms to produce more acidity and the flavors to mellow and blend. The third sample we tasted was a special version of their Reserve Wheat, a sour-wheat ale, aged in wine barrels and cultured with microorganisms from the legendary lambic brewery, Drie Fonteinen, known for its strain of Bretts. Typically, Bretts do not start to noticeably flavor the beer until after about three months of aging. The Bretts had been added a little less than two months ago, so its characteristic mustyfunkiness was just starting to become apparent in the beer. The wine barrels added a gooseberry, lemon balm flavor to the beer that made it seem a little brighter than the standard Reserve Wheat. The beer was incredible and only needs a little more time for the Bretts character to emerge. We also checked in on the current batch of Obscura Vulpine and Pacific

Sour beers waiting to go through some tough analysis

Wild Time, a wild version of their brown ale, Pacific Standard Time (PST). The last batch of Obscura Vulpine did not have quite enough volume to fill all of the empty barrels, so Paul decided turn the two extra ones into unnamed side projects. The first barrel was filled with a combination of PST and pre-soured Vulpine. The body and toasted malts of the PST and the cherry notes of Vulpine were apparent in its flavor. The other barrel was partly filled with this PSTVulpine blend and then topped off with two of their saisons, Silent Partner and Los Padres, along with grape must (unfermented wine) from Sanguis Winery. The beer had gained a wet earthiness with a flavor similar to alfalfa sprouts. The saisons had brightened up the fruitiness, giving it a lemon-orangeflavored acidity. The grape must had been a blend of red wine grapes, and their flavor was laced throughout the beer with an astringent finish from the tannins.

The Next Step

From here, the sour beers deemed “ready” will go through a forced-aging assessment that tests for the off-flavor diacetyl. This compound is naturally formed during fermentation and gets consumed later on in the process. This means that it can be found to some degree in every beer, sour or normal. If the beer has not been allowed to properly age, then too much of the diacetyl and its precursors are left in the liquid and will develop a strong buttery flavor. Diacetyl is not noticeable in this stage of the beer. It will only come out with time, so the forced-aging test allows the brewer to see if diacetyl will later develop in the packaged beer. If it passes this test, then it is ready to bottle or keg. If it does not, then the brewer must simply let the beer sit and wait for the microorganisms to consume the diacetyl and its precursors. As we finished up, Paul made notes of which beers will need to go through a diacetyl test. Some were almost ready, and some would have to wait longer. Until then, we will just have to rely on Telegraph’s other tasty brews.

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F E B R UA RY 2 1 – M A R C H 7 | 2 0 1 5

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theFortnight

FEB 21 – MAR 7

by Jeremy Harbin

Tell us all about your art opening, performance, dance party, book signing, sale of something we can’t live without, or event of any other kind by emailing inthezone@santabarbarasentinel.com. If our readers can go to it, look at it, eat it, or buy it, we want to know about it and will consider it for inclusion here. Special consideration will be given to interesting, exploratory, unfamiliar, and unusual items. We give calendar preference to those who take the time to submit a picture along with their listing.

Nice Day for Some Events

ey guy, did you hear? They’re having some bad weather on the East Coast for the first time ever. This has never, ever happened before – that they’ve had bad weather on the East Coast while it’s been nice here – so you really should mention it every chance you get. Let me be clear: weather patterns are exciting and they are exactly what you should be small-talking about! You guys! Of course I’m being a li’l bit smart-alecky with you right now. Weather’s boring as hell as a conversation topic. That should a basic, commonly held belief, but it’s somehow not. Folks are out there talking about the weather right now – and making other people respond to their tedious chatter out of politeness. It’s borderline rude if you ask me. Maybe the problem is that people just plain don’t have anything else to talk about. Maybe their lives are so boring, the temperature seems like a fun topic by comparison. If that sounds like you, here’s an idea: go to these events I talk about below! Please! Think of the small talk fodder they’ll load you up with. Books, TV, art, wine, accordions… it’s all here and it’s all more interesting than precipitation or the lack thereof. So this bi-week, fold down the antenna on your weather radio, put on your favorite pair of khakis, and attend some events for once in your life.

Friday

February 27 and Wednesday, March 4 Memoirs from Behind Bars ■ Once a year, the folks of the UCSB Library invite anyone who’s up for it to read a book and join in on panel discussions about that book. They call this program UCSB Reads. I’m tempted to gently rib these librarians about it. I mean, we can pretty much assume that UCSB reads, given that it is, after all, a university. And one book a year seems like a pretty low bar. Even lower, this year’s book is Piper Korman’s memoir Orange is the New Black: My Year in a Women’s Prison – a work with plenty of merit, sure, but not exactly a challenging pick. So, like I said, some friendly teasing seems appropriate. But given that I only read one book last year, and that book was Orange is the New Black, I don’t think I’m in a position to cast any stones. I’m sure this year’s book choice wasn’t made lightly. The good people of the UCSB Library probably debated the decision at a staff meeting right after their opening prayer to Melville Dewey. Fifty Shades of Grey? Nah, too sexy. The Goldfinch? Not sexy enough. Lena Dunham’s Not That Kind of Girl? The Fault in our Stars? Killing Patton? No, no, and no. None of these have that certain something, that je ne sais quoi, that… subject matter that allows for tons of juicy details while also sliding in some good old-fashioned moralizing on slightly left-leaning ideas about the ineffectiveness and disservice of the U.S. government that are hard to disagree with. It’s the perfect book for the person who’s only going to read one a

year. (That’s me, by the way, so no judgment.) It’s not dazzling prose that keeps you from putting it down – by any stretch of the imagination. It’s the secret world Kerman writes about with all of its own rituals and customs. She reports from the inside with the same sort of detached fascination I had while reading, but she’s also very self-aware about her detachment; she doesn’t want to exploit the women who make up the content of her best seller which was turned into a popular Netflix show. The book feels kind of like gossiping with a friend. A typical chapter might play out like this: Kerman observes something that would never happen among her law-abiding, collegeeducated, upper-middle class friends and family, she talks about how that thing affects those around her, she talks about how it affects her and her mental/emotional state, and then she waxes political about it. It could be something big, like the constant threat of solitary confinement, or small, like making improvised versions of favorite recipes in the prison microwave. Either way, it’s usually pretty compelling. Look: it’s a safe choice. Its politics are accessible and it’s just plain entertaining. And, of course, there’s name recognition from the TV show (which is based on the book like Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, based on the life of Abraham Lincoln). For what it’s worth, I think it’s a good choice aimed at max participation, and with most things written about here and in any events calendar, participation is pretty much the whole point. So if you’ve read the book, keep that participation going

by attending one or both of the panel discussions taking place in the Mary Cheadle Room of the UCSB Library on February 27 and March 4. If you haven’t read it yet, you still have time. It’s a quick read. On Friday, February 27, at noon, three panelists will bring you Restorative Justice: Bringing Victims & Offenders Together at UCSB & Beyond. Those panelists are: UCSB’s Joaquin Becerra, Laurel Kaufer from a program called Prison of Peace, and Lizzie Rodriguez of the Conflict Solutions Center. They’ll discuss the idea of restorative justice, that is, “a process through which victims, offenders, and community members meet to collectively repair the harm caused by a crime.” On March 4 at 4 pm in the same place, the discussion is Prison Re-entry. Three different panelists will talk about the former prisoner’s entry into society from prison life. They are: Sister Terry Dodge from the nonprofit Crossroads, Billi Jo Starr from Freedom4Youth, and Kristianne Clifford from the Freedom to Choose Foundation. Orange is the New Black deals explicitly with this issue in a few different ways. One is a

certain character’s recidivism, which, if I remember correctly, was one thing the TV version pulled from the book. I wonder if Sister Terry subscribes to Netflix. As a book discussion panel that charged admission probably wouldn’t have many attendees, these events are free and open to the public. The Mary Cheadle Room is on the third floor of the UCSB Library, which is on campus.

Saturday

February 28 Drawing for Fun(ding)

■ It’s not rare for me to get a press release saying, hey, come drink wine in a beautiful location, eat food that pairs with it, listen to music, have fun. It sounds pretty good, I’ll think to myself. Maybe I’ll write about it. But then I keep reading and realize that tickets cost $350 a head. Historically, I’ve avoided writing about these events. I believe that organizers of these kinds of things have the social standing and built-in audience to sell the tickets they need to sell. In other words: I don’t think these events are accessible enough for the casual calendar reader, and I don’t think they need the Sentinel Surge anyway. In other, other words: too rich for my blood. So I’ll admit right away that today’s event will cost you $150 to attend, and now I’ll try to make an argument that it’s worth it. First off, that trusty trump card of justifications: it’s for a good cause. The VADA Draw is a fundraiser for Santa Barbara High School’s Visual Arts and Design Academy (VADA). Referred to as a “school within a school,” VADA is a program that takes in aspiring artists and gives them art projects and exposure to real artists and tries to help them understand how they might go about having a career in the arts. It might not be ladling soup or knitting blankets for the homeless, but it’s still somewhat within the realm of a “good cause.” Sure, the more cynical among us might point out the youth of Santa Barbara High School pursuing careers as artists might come from relative affluence, or that VADA already receives funding from both state and city government, but I say we give these folks the benefit of the doubt. If they’re staging a fundraiser, we have to assume

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they need the money and that they’re not just cutting up our cash and checks into geometric shapes and Mod Podgeing them to plywood in a self-conscious statement about privilege and the role of art in a consumer culture. The second reason it might be worth it to spend $150 to go to The VADA Draw: you’re buying a piece of art; you just don’t know if it’s by an artist, a student, or a local celebrity. Of all the art on display, attendees will get to pick out a work to take home. The fun part is that the artist will remain a

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Sunday

March 8 Accordions in Church ■ I’ve expressed this a couple of times here in The Fortnight: the ideal entry for this column is fresh and unique. It pairs an interesting thing with an unlikely venue. It’s fun and different. Last issue, I told you about a comedy show at a brewery, for example. That certainly fits the bill. I want to bring you things to do that are weird in a good way. So, for your approval: a large group of people, all with accordions, playing

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Join us for a lively evening with a man who defined an era of American television with his iconic shows All in the Family, Maude, The Jeffersons, Good Times, and Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman. mystery. Will you end up with a piece by Wallace Piatt? Or will you adorn your wall with something by the 11thgrade version of Wallace? Maybe it’ll be a non-artist altogether, but a local so-and-so who’s got enough raw talent to convince you otherwise when you’re making your decision. See? It’s fun. Another reason to spend $150 to go to this: you’re really only spending $75 per person. For the bill and a half you’ll be dropping to attend, you will receive entry for yourself and a second person. So start looking for a date. For the final reason why it might actually be worth it to attend The VADA Draw, I’m combining a bunch of reasons into one. I’ll call this reason the added perks: food, booze, music. No word yet on what’s to eat or drink, but it’s sponsored by Honig Winery, so I’m guessing some of their potables will be available. Food-wise, sponsors include Killer B’s BBQ and Casa Blanca Restaurant, so we’ll have to wait and see who’s catering. It all goes down tonight (February 28) from 7 to 10 pm at the Santa Barbara Arts Foundry (hey, that’s another reason – you get to explore the foundry) in the Funk Zone. Go to www.vadasbhs.org for more information and to buy your tickets.

Vangelis’s Chariots of Fire theme for runners on the course of the Santa Barbara International Marathon. Okay, so that’s not exactly today’s event – that went down in 2010 and video of it lives online – but it’s similar. That was the Santa Barbara Accordion Club providing the musical inspiration for athletes on that day in 2010; today, that group and the Accordion International Music Society of Santa Barbara bring you the West Coast super-group, bona fide accordion music royalty, the Accordionaires Orchestra. They’ll play your favorite classical, jazz, and pop tunes – all on accordion – at 2 pm at Trinity Evangelical Lutheran Church (909 North La Cumbre Road) for a requested $10 donation. So does a full orchestra of accordions playing in a church fellowship hall really qualify as “weird in a good way?” It’s debatable, to be sure. It leans closer to the “weird” and away from the “in a good way.” But… it’s something right? It could be fun, but I guess your enjoyment really depends on where you’re able to position yourself on the spectrum between earnest and ironic appreciation. And it is a spectrum, my friends… it is a spectrum. See you next bi-week!

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...continued from p.5

This is not some greedy corporate mogul or Wall Street banker. This is a family business that cares about this community. PODER protesters swarmed El Bajio on Sunday afternoon, and for three hours defamed the owner, his food, and his restaurant. They entered his building and yelled at customers there, told people the food was poisoned, and so forth. Police were called out twice, and the second time they forced the protesters to leave the building and not block the entrance. The protesters’ intent was to shame a Latino business owner as being a traitor to Latinos for supporting the proposed district. They accosted one patron trying to enter the restaurant and when he asked what this was all about, they told him that it hurts small Latino businesses. The patron retorted, “Wow, what hypocrites! You’re the ones hurting a small Latino business!” He then pushed past them go to in and order his food. On the next day it was open for business, fans staged an “Eat In” that night to support the El Bajio family. The mayor and councilmembers Hart, Hotchkiss, Francisco, Rowse, and White came to give Santos a hug. Go, Santos! You still have the best Caldo de Cameron and Tacos El Dorado

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East Beach Tacos to Open

orton’s Pastrami at the East Beach Batting Cages closed down last year, and a new restaurant is moving in. Michael Anderson is bringing a new creative genius to Milpas with an Asian fusion twist on an old favorite: tacos. One recipe that he’s been experimenting with: battered cod, cabbage, radish, cilantro, pico de gallo, East Beach aioli, and flour tortilla. Yum! So I mention Julia and tacos in the headline, and you’re instantly thinking of Julia Child and Super Rica, right? Got ya! This Julia is Julia Roberts, who was at East Beach Batting Cages on Monday with her kids. Perhaps she’ll be the nextgen of “Julia” that has love affairs with tacos on Milpas!

Shots: Knees, Vaccines, and Points in Between by Cheri Rae

odern medicine is amazing: There are all kinds of treatment methods to repair injuries, reduce pain and turn back the hands of time. The problem is getting access to the medical care that will put these methods into action. And then, of course, paying for them. As I recounted on this site, I injured my knee in mid-December, and it took about six weeks before getting relief from the pain. The delay was due to a series of unfortunate events that included holiday time; vacation schedules of medical personnel; and required approvals from Anthem-Blue Cross before an MRI could be scheduled. The good news is that I was able to get the MRI just one day after it was approved, thanks to a cancellation in the schedule. I got an appointment with the physician’s assistant a week later, and a consult with the orthopedic surgeon – thanks to another cancellation – the next morning.

The verdict was that all the years of use have worn down the cartilage in my kneecap. The injury simply aggravated the common condition. The great news is that the orthopedic surgeon takes a conservative approach; when he injected my knee with cortisone and prescribed anti-inflammatories, I could swear he performed a miracle. Immediately, my knee felt like it was supposed to – pain-free—as it hadn’t felt in far too long. The only lingering pain came when I got the bill: after all that waiting for insurance permission that the doctor thought I needed, the mega-corporation – recently in the news for getting hacked – paid only 20 percent of the expensive procedure. But enough about my knee; I was so sick of that small body part limiting my life for so long, I amused myself by catching up with the news. Unfortunately, the biggest story was all about vaccine-preventable diseases on the rampage. It’s something I’ve had quite a bit of experience with, since my then-8-yearold vaccinated son contracted whooping cough a decade ago – a disease that was nearly eradicated in America due to widespread immunizations in the past, but has returned with a vengeance. My son recently told me that during the long days and nights with that incessant terrible cough, he had pretty much decided that he was going to die. “It took so long, and it was so awful, I didn’t think it was possible to ever get any better,” he said. It breaks my heart that the little boy was so scared and so sick, so helpless for no good reason – his health and well-being drastically affected by the choice of others who decided not to vaccinate their kids. I wrote about whooping cough back then, having educated myself about herd immunity and immunization rates; personal belief exemptions and the anti-vaxx movement. That story has been widely circulated and cited for the powerful first-person reality; it even

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Cheri Rae

Cheri Rae is the senior editor and columnist for sbview.com. Known for her civic activism and insightful chronicles of the local scene, Cheri has a hard-won reputation for writing about issues that other Santa Barbara-based writers are reluctant to tackle.

sbview.com appears on the website for the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia, where noted pro-vaccine physician Dr. Paul Offit practices. And I’ve made several media appearances on the subject: vec. chop.edu/service/parents-possessingaccessing-communicating-knowledgeabout-vaccines/sharing-personalstories/whooping-cough.html Whooping cough was bad enough, but who ever would have imagined that measles would return? When I was a small child, the vaccine had not been created yet and I contracted measles. The doctor made several house calls; my room was kept dark, and my Sicilian grandmother – who believed in many old-world folk tales – sewed up a pair of red flannel pajamas that were supposed to draw out the redness. I wasn’t allowed to read or watch television, and I was as sick and scared as my little boy

was when he battled his own vaccinepreventable disease. I couldn’t imagine I would ever get better either. Those diseases were once so common and their effects so devastating that parents gratefully waited in line to get their kids their shots, relieved they had the opportunity to protect their children from dreaded diseases. Not so long ago, vaccines were not thought of as government conspiracies or Big Pharma moneymakers. They were considered life-saving scientific advancements. And maybe because they worked so well when virtually everyone got them, the misery and deaths caused by them were largely forgotten. Lulled into a false sense of security, an alarming number of individuals – who no longer believe in science or in the existence of deadly viruses or bacteria – are willing to rely on magical thinking to protect them instead. I understand that magical thinking: I got into it when I wanted to believe my knee would just get better on its own. It didn’t. And even though I’d do just about anything to avoid doctors, clinics, insurance companies, and medical tests, sometimes it’s necessary to go that route. Sometimes it takes a shot in the arm, or even one in the knee to allow a modern miracle to take place.

S O L D O N T R U S T.

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We Are

Weddings SBMM Santa Barbara Maritime Museum

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REALESTATE

by James Buckley

The State of (Local) Real Estate

hat follows are the experiences of one guy (me) and a couple weeks of exploration. I’ve chosen a few properties that seem well-priced and attractive, and another that is just about the least-expensive, single-family home on the market. I have no stake or interest in any of those properties and I’m not in the real estate business, although I wrote a real-estate column for Montecito Journal for the first five years of its existence. The one observation worth making is this: you are either a renter or an owner; you’ve got to live somewhere, and once you buy the home you’ve chosen, you could be looking at 30 years and more of a set “rent.” Which is, generally speaking, a whole lot better than not knowing how much your rent will go up year after year. Prices may seem high, but they’ll be higher. Interest rates are the key and they are very, very low. Not as low as they have been, particularly when they sank below 3% a couple years ago, but they are still almost as low as they have ever been. So, before you decide you cannot “afford” a house or condo that seems out of your price range, you must do the numbers. As a small example, let’s say you don’t believe you can afford a million-dollar home. Well, maybe you can. Interest-only mortgages are available in the 3.75% range, especially if you have 20% as a down payment and a good credit score. Which, of course, means you’ll need a couple-hundred thousand dollars available for the purchase. If you are selling or have sold something you’ve owned for any length of time, or have actually saved your money over the years, you may well be able to cough up the necessary funds. If so, you are looking at an $800,000 mortgage. If the numbers don’t work for a 30-year-fixed, then you may have to settle for an interest-only loan. At the current rate of 3.75% for a seven-year loan, your monthly payment would be $2,500 a month. With a 20% down-payment, you’ll not need mortgage insurance, but property taxes will add another $850 to that. Depending upon your income-tax

rate, that $3,350 a month gross will probably represent something closer to $2,800 a month, net, maybe even less, as the entire $40,200 you’ve paid over the year in taxes and interest is deductible. If you don’t plan to move, get yourself into a fully amortized loan as soon as you are comfortable. I spent a recent Sunday driving to Open Houses from Winchester Canyon to the lower east side; over the past two weeks, I searched for properties that seemed not only “reasonable,” but attractive and desirable. Curiously, the undesirable properties were priced the same as more attractive homes, so a thorough search is in order for anyone seriously looking to buy. But you knew that.

A Best Bet

During my less-thanthorough but deliberate search, the most desirable property I came across was a 4-bedroom, 2.5-bath home at 7309 Bassano Drive in Goleta. It was being offered at $799,000. If it is still on the market, it represents an excellent combination of price to value. This wellmaintained 2,000-sq-ft+/- home is a couple blocks west of San Marcos High School and even at the full price of $799,000, a 20% down payment of $160,000 would leave the buyer with a $639,000 mortgage. An interest-only loan at 3.75% would run near $2,000 a month. Add property taxes of $700 a month, you’re in a good home in a good neighborhood for $2,700 a month, gross, perhaps as little as $2,200 net depending upon your income. Could you rent this place for $2,200? No. You’d likely pay something north of $3,000, or at least $2,800. That’s just my

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...continued p.18

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guess and if you could rent it for $2,200, maybe you should. The house is not for rent. Glen Annie Golf Course is nearby, as is San Marcos High School, whose engineering academy features one of the most vibrant programs of any high school on the Central Coast. A Saltillo tile walkway winds its way past the low-maintenance landscaping up to an inviting double-size arch leading to the front door. If you turn around, there are good views of the nearby hillsides. Inside, there is a den, living room with gas fireplace, a somewhat older but completely functional eat-in kitchen, a separate dining room, and a large covered outdoor patio complete with a spa. Most of the interior flooring is of baked and finished Saltillo tiles. From the looks of the roof, the gutters, the grounds and the rest, this is a house that has seen a lot of tender loving care over the years. There’s no sign of a quickie paint job or hasty cleanup. To complete the tour, this single-story home with a barrel-tile roof and a two-car garage has an outside utility/work room, and the small back yard includes a garden shack (along with the spa) and a “tuff shed” storage building, plenty of closet space and a master bedroom with a his-and-her bathroom setup. It’s certainly worth a close look.

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Carpinteria

Sales Prices in Carpinteria (all the following sales figures are taken directly from the office of the Santa Barbara County Clerk (www.sbcvote.com/assessor), indicate a 2-bed, 2-bath unit on Ogan Road that sold for $265,000, but most of the 3-bedroom, 2-bath homes moved in the range of the mid-$600,000s, putting most of them in the range of affordability for many buyers. Nearly all the sales went off at less than a million dollars.

The Hideaway Bungalows

These began going up just across from Sandpiper Golf Course a little over a year ago, and at first they looked like they may be office condos. But, as construction continued apace, it became apparent the builders were creating a community of homes. The new condominium complex is called The Hideaway and it is just off the Winchester Canyon 101 exit. If you are heading north, take a left and cross over the overpass; another left will lead you to the models on your left. There are some drawbacks to the location: there isn’t a coffee shop within easy walking distance. In fact there aren’t any shopping opportunities in easy walking distance. However, you are not far away from the Goleta Butterfly Grove, the Central Coast’s premium Monarch butterfly viewing enclave. Nearby too (by car) is the Camino Real Marketplace anchored by Costco and a multiplex movie house; down the road (within walking distance) is Bacara, and directly across the street is Sandpiper Golf Course, so The Hideaway is pretty well situated, despite the shopping dearth. The other drawback is, of course, the close proximity of Highway 101; the sad truth is that 101 is the sore that never heals and affects virtually everybody’s lives, regardless of how far one lives from it. I like this condominium complex. The townhomes start at 1,460 sq ft (Plan 3) and go up to 3,113 sq ft (Plan 7). The smaller units are sold out, but the units that I believe make for the best value are still available: the two-story 2,350-sq-ft 4-bdrm, 3-bath Plan 5 units, of which there were ...continued p.33

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Megan performing the Endermologie treatment, the technique which launched the business (Photo Credit: Beautiful You)

by Megan Waldrep Megan is a writer with a fashion designer past.

After 10 years designing for her own label, she started writing because “it just felt good”. Now a freelancer for various publications, she loves interviewing people to learn how they got from point A to present day. She co-authored the children’s book Spice & Little Sugar. The literary world is home, sweet home. www.meganwaldrep.com

Some Body to Love

“I

t was an accident, honestly,” Megan Simon reveals of founding Beautiful You, a Montecito-based beauty business she launched with her sister, Melanie, in 2003. The UCSB grad and I are gathered around a table outside of Handlebar Coffee Roasters on Canon Perdido Street as she explains how she got into the beauty game. She continues, “And I was really scared to do it, because I had no beauty training except being certified in one treatment. I spent four years in college getting a degree, I had a job at a bank that felt pretty secure with paid vacations, paid leave, and insurance...” A little push from mom was all she needed. “My mom said, ‘Look at me! You should do it!’” Her mother had started a successful pre-school/day care business from the

ground up in Frazier Park, California, the family’s hometown. Megan continues, “She was really encouraging and really helped me make the jump.” Mom was not only the biggest cheerleader to start the business, she was the inspiration. Toying with the idea of liposuction, Megan and Melanie begged their mother to try alternative techniques. “We were both saying, ‘Don’t do the surgery! It isn’t good for you!” she remembers. Her sister, already in the process of getting an aesthetician’s license, began searching for alternatives to liposuction. She discovered Endermologie, a tissue treatment and body-contouring technique as common as a manicure in European countries. Their father, skeptical, believed it was a waste of time and money. Megan reflects, “He would

Beauty queen: Megan Simon, director of Beautiful You in Montecito (Photo Credit: Beautiful You)

say, ‘Do squats to get rid of cellulite!’, and we would explain it doesn’t work that way.” Her mom decided to try Endermologie and began driving from their hometown of Frazier Park to Beverly Hills twice a week to have it done. After a series of treatments, the family was stunned by the visual results. Even their father conceded, “Whatever that is, it works!” It was enough to ignite Melanie’s desire to create a business around the practice. Seeing opportunity in Southern California, Megan convinced her sister to relocate from Mammoth, her home at the time, to Santa Barbara try it out because “people are more natural here and want to look good.” The two sisters hopped on a plane to Florida for training, and Beautiful You started to take form. Now in its 12th year, Beautiful You is a complete body-rejuvenation destination, specializing in six unique treatments aimed to revitalize skin. “I like to keep it simple and stick with what works best,” Megan says with confidence. “I offer a few services. That’s all I do, I do it well, and I can tell you who does whatever else well.” Megan has become a concierge of sorts, directing patronsin-need to the right pet-sitter, offering recommendations for good personal trainers, and of course, beauty advice. “Talking to my clients, trading tips, and hearing the excitement while they are seeing results have been some of the highlights of the job.” (Follow @ beautifulyoumc on Instagram to get in the loop.) Megan holds the title of

director of services for the Montecito location, while her sister provides services and promotes her product line, Circ Cell, out of Jackson Hole, Wyoming. Plans for expansion are in motion. Endorsements from satisfied customers (celebrity and civilian) have fueled the company’s success, even reaching the ears of The New York Times and Vogue Magazine – both publications touting the business as a “best-kept beauty secret.” With prices ranging from $45 for a $400, there is something for every body, from treatments that condition the top layer of skin to a procedure (invented by the co-inventor of the pacemaker) that works from underneath. A visit to the website www.beautifulyoumc.com gives simple and thorough explanations of all they have to offer. The custom spray tan is the most affordable transformation, a confidence booster at just $45. “It’s the single-best beauty technique you can get done that makes the biggest impact, head-to-toe,” Megan states. “In the beginning it was scary. Just like anything else, people only knew when they saw a bad one and didn’t know when they were seeing a good one.” With maid-of-honor duties rapidly approaching, I grabbed the opportunity to try it out. The results were surprising – it looked great and lasted more than two weeks. My skin was smoother and the color was subtle, yet enough for me to get my bare legs out of hiding. The tanning formula consists of only three natural ingredients, all organic, which created a glow and several hey-youlook-great-did-you-do-something-toyour-hair compliments from friends. I am a believer. (Book a session at www. beautifulyoutanning.com.) I ask what is her favorite part of the job. “We’re all so tough on ourselves, and a little boost of confidence goes a long way.” She pauses, “More than anything, the positive effect it has on the psyche is the most exciting thing for me to hear. That’s the cherry on top for everything I do.”

Beautiful You 1805 East Cabrillo Blvd, suite B, Montecito (805) 403-6056

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BEHIND THE VINE

by Hana-Lee Sedgwick Hana-Lee Sedgwick is a digital advertising executive by day and wine consultant and blogger by night. Born and raised in Santa Barbara, she fell in love with the world of wine while living in San Francisco after college. Hana-Lee loves to help people learn about and appreciate wine, putting her Sommelier certification to good use. When not trying new wines or traveling, she can be found practicing yoga, cooking, entertaining, and enjoying time with friends and family. For more information and wine tips, visit her blog, Wander & Wine, at wanderandwine.com.

Armada Sails into Another Year The girls behind Armada: Tucker Huget and Jaime Heer

Explore the craft beverage industry

f you haven’t made it into Armada Wine & Beer Merchant yet, you’ve been missing out! This month, the friendly neighborhood wine and beer bar is celebrating its one-year anniversary. I’ve been a regular customer

pretty much since it opened and can assure you this place has everything you want in a casual spot for wine and beer in Santa Barbara. Armada Wine & Beer Merchant is tucked away in the San Marcos

Courtyard off of State Street (between Figueroa & Anapamu). It was started by friends Jaime Heer and Tucker Huget, who met more than five years ago while working at a local winery. After the two figured out they shared mutual dreams of venturing out to do their own thing, they dedicated time to researching and planning – and soon Armada was born! Armada carries smaller-production wines and artisanal beers from

throughout the Central Coast, but the selection isn’t limited to just California. If you’re looking for something new or different, from the U.S. and beyond, Armada’s got you covered. The name Armada is not only a play on the “exploration” of wine and beer, but also pays tribute to the Spanish Conquistadors that are carved into the facade of the San Marcos Courtyard. That theme carries through into the interior of the bright and airy space, which is nicely decorated with coastal and nautical details. It’s true that it takes a lot to make a place stand out in Santa Barbara, but with their hard work, rotating drink selections, and down-to-earth personalities, Tucker and Jaime have succeeded in making Armada an inviting place for locals and tourists alike. A craft wine and beer bar with a fine atmosphere and varied drink selection without any snobbery… what more could you ask for? Be sure to visit Armada on Saturday, February 28, from 5-8 pm for its first anniversary! There will be light appetizers by Savoy Café, wine tastings with Refugio Ranch, a special Telegraph Brewery Co. beer on tap, and wine and beer specials. Cheers to a happy anniversary and many more!

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with Mark Léisuré

Mark spends much of his time wandering Santa Barbara and environs, enjoying the simple things that come his way. A show here, a benefit there, he is generally out and about and typically has a good time. He says that he writes “when he feels the urge” and doesn’t want his identity known for fear of an experience that is “less than authentic.” So he remains at large, roaming the town, having fun. Be warned.

Handler’s Handle on Lemony Snicket

wo things you should know about Daniel Handler going in: the writer who penned the 13-volume Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events and three recent prequels under that pen name is as drolly funny over the phone as he is in print; and he didn’t once utter the word “unfortunate” in a 20-minute-plus interview, though “terrible” showed up 12 times or more, so maybe the whole damn thing has been ghostwritten. Handler – who has also authored quite a few books under his own name, but enjoyed far more success as Snicket (to the tune of 60 million copies sold in the series, all told) – will give the lecture “Who is Lemony Snicket? And Other Wrong Questions” at UCSB on Monday, February 23, at UCSB’s Campbell Hall. “I’ll try to attempt through a series of bewildering anecdotes and unreliable philosophy to explain myself as best I can to anyone who might be interested,” he said about the forthcoming evening. Followed by a Q&A? “Yeah. Usually when I’m done talking, people have some Q’s,” Handler said. “I try to A them as best as I can.” Here’s the interview we undertook in mid-February: Q. What’s the story behind Lemony Snicket? How did you come up with that name? A. I was on the phone with a rightwing political organization (while) researching my first novel, The Basic 8, and I wanted them to send me some material so I could mock them in my book. They asked my name, and I thought to myself, “Quick, don’t say your real name” because I didn’t want them to know who I was. Lemony Snicket was the first thing that came to my mind. Then there was a pause. I thought, “Well, that was an idiotic thing to say. Who would be dim-witted enough to think that was a real name?” And then the woman asked, “Is that spelled how it sounds?” The Unfortunate books started just a year later. Was it the name that inspired you? No, I mean kids do love the name. But I guess I just thought it would be inherently interesting to write about

terrible things happening to children. The only thing more interesting than terrible things happening to children over and over again would be 13 volumes of terrible things happening to children over and over again. It only took seven years for you to finish the whole set. Did this just flow out of you, or was it more painful and difficult to construct than it seems? There were times I was very inspired and the writing came out just how I wanted it to, and then there were times where I had to re-write it over and over again. It’s as a writer friend I admire a lot told me, “You have to make a mess, and then you have to clean it up.” I understand you had some difficulty getting Basic 8 published, but Harper Collins approached you about writing a children’s book. Did they have the concept of all those disasters? No. What happened was (after I came up with the concept) I agreed to meet an editor at a bar instead of in her office because I told her, “I am going to tell you this idea, and you’re going to say that it’s terrible. That would be really embarrassing if I were in your office. But if we’re in a bar when you tell me it’s terrible, it won’t be a complete loss because we’ll be in a bar.” So we met, and I told her I wanted to write about terrible things happening to children and she said, “Actually, I like that.” But I was worried that she was just a lightweight and would call me the next morning saying, “Now that I’m sober, I realize it is a terrible idea.” But she’s Canadian and they drink like fish. So in the morning she said, “Actually I still like this idea.” So I take it you were surprised how popular they became. I didn’t think it would work. I thought very few people would be interested in such things, maybe a few children. But I also thought the conservative guardians of children’s culture would probably prevent anybody from reading them. So, I thought they would be failures... and I was right at first. There were only two people at the first Lemony Snicket event at a big bookstore in Michigan. These two guys were sitting way in the

Author Daniel “Lemony Snicket” Handler comes to UCSB on Monday, February 23

back of this big room, and I did this thing about “Lemony Snicket can’t be here, but I’ll play the accordion for you instead.” It turned out they were from another bookstore and hated my books, but wanted to see who had written them. That made sense to me. So, yeah, I’m continually astonished that they have not failed. Well, they’re officially children’s books, but most of the fans are adults, aren’t they? It takes a more mature mind to appreciate the wit and the tone, doesn’t it? Or do we underestimate what children can handle? Children’s history has a great, long history of terrible things happening. Grimm’s fairy tales are full of them. I think it’s hard for me to think of a story I’m interested in that doesn’t at least have the threat of something terrible happening. It’s up to the child whether he or she is strong or hearty enough to take some stories. But I don’t think it’s true that children are permanently scarred by these books, and if it is, then that’s also true for everything interesting they’ve ever read. You do have to be old enough to have a sense of irony to appreciate these books. Some people develop that at a very young age, and others never get it at all. In the more recent series All The Wrong Questions, you have Lemony Snicket go back and revisit his childhood. Why did you return to the character and go that far back? Just as Unfortunate Events had come from gothic fiction, where lonely people are locked up in castles, I was reading noir fiction when I was writing Questions, which is more like The Big Sleep. I liked the idea that when he was growing up, he was a detective. People were always asking me what happened before – which I didn’t want to answer. But if I talk about what happened way way before, the readers would be frustrated and mystified enough to stop asking. I think that’s the impetus behind reading. That’s what intrigues me, anyway, as opposed to, oh, that was completely satisfying and I don’t have any questions.

I know you worked on the film version of A Series of Unfortunate Events for a whole bunch of drafts but weren’t actually involved with the one that was eventually used. Were you happy about how it came out? And what’s happening with a sequel? I have a policy not to say anything mean about a movie that bought me a house. As far as a sequel, all 13 volumes are being adapted for TV by Netflix. Right now, I’m pretty involved. We’re looking for a director – that is, we’re in the middle of being turned down by a lot of directors. I’m not sure how much longer I’ll be involved. It boggles my mind that you have also played accordion with a bunch of groups associated with Stephin Merritt, including on The Magnetic Fields’ 69 Love Songs, one of the all-time great albums. How did you guys meet? I wanted to meet him, and I found out he was in New York and that he went to the same diner every day to write his songs. So I walked up and introduced myself. We began talking about a Henry James novel called The Spoils of Poynton. And then we became fast friends and have worked together for a long time ever since. It doesn’t surprise me that people are fans of both of our works, because we had an affinity almost immediately.

Focus on Film

Anybody with half a heart couldn’t help but be moved during closing night of the Santa Barbara International Film Festival (SBIFF) a couple of Saturdays ago. Not necessarily during the screening of McFarland, USA – the Disney movie starring Kevin Costner as the real-life, down-on-his-luck high school teacher Jim White, who creates and coaches a cross country running team in the San Joaquin Valley community might be a little too predictable and sappy for some viewers (and plenty of critics) – though it played well to the hometown crowd, with applause welling up every time the underdog heroes even took the lead. But the reunion of Costner, director Niki Caro, and the young men who played the athletes – many of whom actually hail from McFarland – that took place on the red carpet was genuinely touching, as they hadn’t all seen each other in the 18 months since the film wrapped (save a few hours earlier at a Los Angeles reception, Caro said later). “It really is a reunion for all of us,” Caro said as the kids danced and gabbed their way down the red carpet. “That team that was created for the movie will exist for their whole lives.” The year-and-a-half wait for the film ...continued p.25

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Plan B by Briana Westmacott When Briana isn’t lecturing for her writing courses

at UCSB and SBCC, she contributes to The Santa Barbara Skinny, Wake & Wander and Flutter Magazine. Along with her passion for writing and all things Santa Barbara, much of her time is spent multi-tasking through her days as a mother, wife, sister, want-to-be chef and travel junky. Writing is an outlet that ensures mental stability... usually.

Brace Yourself Elliana is looking much happier in Dr. Wright’s chair, where the orthodontic procedures should take place

13 year-old girl, I decided to prepare for the dance by ripping that metal device out of my mouth. I had flashbacks to this as my husband was plying my daughter’s mouth free of poking steel. It hurt when that eighth grader lied to my parents and told them the metal forked device came out while eating a caramel apple. It hurt to hear Elliana scream in terror as Paul did emergency work on the wires in her mouth. And it hurt that after all of my eighth grade metalmouth stressing, that dance date didn’t even attempt to kiss me.

No Pain, No Gain

As Paul finalized his procedure on Elliana and the screams subsided, the old adage “No pain, no gain” popped into my mind. If you want straight teeth, sometimes you must endure a mouth full of steel. It dawned on me that kids these days live a

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pretty painless existence, at least in comparison to the 70s and 80s; gone are the times of headgear and forked devices. Parents are taught to handle our children like glass, lest they get broken or cracked. But sometimes don’t you need a few cracks to realize just how strong you can be? I am also quite happy that I had to endure a bit of an eighthgrade heartache. Heartache is a small price to pay for innocence. After two pliers attempts by Paul and multiple moments where we questioned our parental powers and the possibility that we were abusing our child, Elliana’s wire was successfully cut. She dried her tears, and within a matter of minutes she was back outside bouncing around on the trampoline. Resilience at its finest. I packed up the toolbox and tucked it away in the garage. Our orthodontia homework was done.

Briana’s Best Bets

ot since I gave birth to our two children has my husband, Paul, heard such a scream. Only this time the howl was coming from one of our children. There were all sets of pliers spread out around our bed and my daughter Elliana lay face up, paralyzed in fear. My husband was crouched over her face as I attempted to aim a flashlight into her mouth. “No! No! No! No! No!” Elliana bellowed. “Honey, just calm down, Daddy knows what he’s doing.” I glanced at Paul, who was clumsily holding a rusty pair of wire. He clearly did not know what he was doing. “Wait, give me those cutters,” I demanded and quickly sanitized the ends before the torture continued. What were we thinking?

Metal Work

Elliana had popped a bracket. Yep, our metal-mouthed nine-year old was being rubbed the wrong way by a wire that had slipped off her back tooth. And, of course, it was a holiday weekend. The tears were streaming down her face as we attempted to remedy the situation ourselves. (This is not something that I suggest you do at home.) To our credit, this had happened before, and the orthodontist had shown me what to do in case we ended up in this exact situation again. So, there we were, attempting to remedy a situation that only a medically trained professional should perform. I do have a huge amount of empathy for Elliana. We knew early on that our kids would more than likely wear wires

on their teeth. Both my husband and I had braces. Major braces, that is. I started my seven-year hardware journey with headgear that I had to hook onto my face and wear to school in the third grade. I’m pretty sure the orthodontic counsel has outlawed this now, declaring it entirely too mean. I still have headgear nightmares. Throughout my bounty of braces, I probably sported every type of apparatus known to teeth (which really didn’t help with developing confidence or popularity).

No Kissing Allowed!

I will never forget my first official school dance. It was the end of middle school, and I was going to the dance with a boy. Not just any boy, either. This guy was already in high school and taking little eighth grade me to the dance, with my permed hair, Pretty in Pink dress… and my braces. The big brace issue was that besides the brackets all over my teeth, but I also had a large, pronged metal device attached to the top of my mouth that had prickly forks hanging down. (Again, I don’t think they use these pitchforked torture devices on children anymore.) My eighth-grade mind pondered, What if this high school boy tries to kiss me? I had never been kissed before, but I did know that a pitchforked metal mechanism on the top of your mouth would not make for memorable first kiss material. (I should interject that this was the ‘80s and my guess is that they do not let high school boys take middle school girls to dances anymore. At least I hope they don’t!) So, being a frizzy-haired, freckle-faced

You really can’t go wrong with Dr. Chad Wright. Elliana goes to The Wright Center for Orthodontics, and our experiences with Dr. Wright and his staff have been quite comfortable, as comfortable as braces can be. If you need some straightening, go to The Wright Center: www.lovemyorthodontist.com While we are on the subject of teeth, I feel compelled to mention our fabulous dentist, too. Dr. Jeffrey Rohde has been working on our entire family for years now, and he keeps our smiles fresh and clean: www.sbdds.com

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SYVSNAPSHOT

by Eva Van Prooyen Keeping a finger on the pulse of the Santa Ynez Valley: what to eat, where to go, who to meet, and what to drink. Pretty much everything and anything situated between the Santa Ynez and San Rafael Mountains that could tickle one’s interest.

Dog Days at the Hedges Household

“P

eople call me when they are looking for a dog,” says canine foster mom Rachel Hedges, adding, “I’m a dog lover. I’ve been fostering dogs for four years and placed over 40 of them in new homes.” Rachel takes pride in understanding dog breeds and moving them in to happier homes and says, “Whatever your personality and lifestyle… there’s a dog for that.” Rachel explains she mainly volunteers for LaPaws, Lompoc’s animal shelter, which serves the whole Valley and works hard to place all animals. She reports LaPaws was renovated within the last year, and “now has a fresh face, is more user-friendly for dog seekers, and is a better environment for the dogs. It’s a nicer place for people to physically come in and meet the dogs.” Rachel reports she has being working with canines for 22 years, training them in all different fields including: agility, Fly-Ball, sheep herding, obedience, and Schutzhund Training (German for “protection dog”). She lives in Santa Ynez with her husband, Santa Barbara Police officer David Hedges, and their 12-year-old son, Strieker, and says, “I got a full head-on course in Schutzhund when German Shepherd K-9 Officer Brag came to live with us. David and Brag had a very successful K-9 career of eight years on the police force serving Santa Barbara, and Brag retired one year ago.” Rachel says she was inspired to work with foster dogs after attending a “Pet Adoption Day” at the Santa Ynez Feed & Milling Co. “Fostering made sense for us; we had more love to give at our house and there was room for another dog, but what we especially love is socializing them, working them, sometimes rehabilitating them if they have special needs, and ultimately placing them in a forever home with their new family.” Rachel says she was never a small dog owner until “We found our Chihuahua, Chippy. He was down, out, and abandoned, roaming the streets in Los Olivos in 2008. No one claimed him, and I got particularly interested in fostering Chihuahuas. There are so many of them in the shelters. Most people think Chihuahuas are yappy and aggressive. They really aren’t. I think what happens is that people treat them like babies because they’re small and they become undisciplined. As long as you train them like a big dog, using positive reinforcement and correction, you’ll end up with a smart, sweet, funny, loyal, disciplined dog. They’re also low-impact. Everyone can fit a Chihuahua in their home, no matter what the size.” All of the dogs Rachel fosters, she says, she would keep if she could: “We integrate them into our home. If someone shows interest, it has to be going to a home as good as ours or better.” In reminiscing about good pairings and placements,

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Rachel reports, Cora, a cream-colored Chihuahua, now lives with Dawn at the Alisal Guest Ranch and greets all the visitors, and Nicole took home Kai, a serious Queensland, and foodie, once known for removing candy bars from purses and hiding the wrappers – he now greets visitors at Carr Vineyards and Winery Tasting Room in Santa Ynez. Currently, Rachel says she is fostering and working with a cream-colored German Shepherd mix named Etta. She was found on the outskirts of Lompoc living under a house for six months and needed socialization. “I get her out every Rachel Hedges fostered Queensland Heeler, Kai, for day in Santa Ynez, and although she is six months. He was originally a serious dog in need of timid and scared, she’s getting used to a lot of routine but now can be seen greeting guests at Carr Vineyards and Winery Tasting Room, taking town noises, going out in public, and his job seriously. seeing people.” Rachel chuckles and says within the animal loving circles in the Valley, “there is actually a well-known ‘Foster Failure Club’ for those who are never able to let go of the dogs they were working so hard to move along. It’s a funny thing. There are people that can foster and some that just can let them go.” “LaPaws wants more foot traffic in the shelter,” says Rachel, adding, “If you don’t see a dog you’re looking for, tell them – chances are they have it or it’s in foster care.” They are located at 1501 West Central Avenue in Lompoc. For more information, call (805) 737-7755.

Eva’s Top Four Faves:

My personal picks, best bets, hot tips, save the dates, and things not to miss! Solvang Century, Metric, and 1/2 Century 2015 The 33rd annual Solvang cycling event will spin into a fun frenzy early morning on Saturday, March 14. There is still time to train and definitely time to sign up for this event. Choose from three scenic rides: 100, 63, or 50 miles! (I’m going to ride either the 63 or 50.) Registration is limited to the first 3,000 riders and includes ride support from dedicated bicycle mechanics, snack and water stations, a swag bag filled with items such as bike lights and power bars, and a post-ride barbecue lunch with beer, wine, and music. Intersection control by Santa Barbara Sheriff’s Department. $115 single rider $195 for tandem. Sign up online at www.bikescor. com/solvang_century_Registration.html. Los Olivos Wine Festival A new festival is about to launch! Los Olivos Business Organization (LOBO) and Visit SYV uncork this inaugural wine country experience with food, music, and wine on Saturday, February 28, from 11 am to 5 pm. Event details boast “Hospitality Lounges” up, down, and around Grand Avenue, complimentary wine and food tastings at each participating tasting room, commemorative glass (for your ever-expanding mishmash collection), a Master Glass Seminar from Riedel wine glass company, and something called a “Mystery Tour.” $65 per person. For more information, visit www.losolivosca.com. Drought-friendly Car Wash? The idea of a drought-friendly car wash seems like an oxymoron… which indeed it is, but I like the drive through the automated car wash at Mobil branded Chumash Gas Station at the corner of Highway 246 and Edison Street in Santa Ynez. For $10 (with or without a gas purchase), you get the “Ultimate” wash and 80 percent of the water is reclaimed/recycled. 4th Annual Mardi Gras Party Organizers of this SYV Chorale fundraiser are luring music and party lovers with promises of an evening filled with authentic Louisiana Mardi Gras celebration tradition complete with gumbo and fried catfish, Southern desserts, music, beads, masks, “lots of revelry”, an honored queen, and jazz music. The raffle items are also a nice draw – I’ve got a hot ($10) raffle ticket in hand for the two-nights stay at Bianchi Vineyard House. Costumes and masks are encouraged. Saturday, February 28, from 5:30 to 10 pm at Solvang Veterans Hall, 1745 Mission Drive. $40 per person. For more information, visit www.syvchorale.org.

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...continued from p.22

Come Whale Watching aboard the original

Arctic Swell will be part of the UCSB Arts & Lecture’s two-day annual visit of the Best of Banff Mountain Film Festival

to come out was only a part of the fiveplus years it took to get the project off the ground and in the can, which Caro attributed to some other youngsters. “Those two little kids over there,” she said, pointing to her children farther down the red carpet. “I’m a parent, and that’s my big job. I love them, and I love the work that I do passionately. So, it takes me five years to grow a project up.” The only thing of note that happened in the interim is that McFarland’s running team, which had made the state championship meet for more than 20 years running, failed to do so since Coach White’s first year after stepping up to the much larger Division 1A. No matter, Caro said. “The legacy is bigger than that one event,” the director said. They’ll continue to thrive and prosper because they have amazing leadership.” The motivating man at the top is what molded the tenacious kids from the farming community into disciplined runners, a tale that goes both ways as the boys helped save Costner’s coach character from his own naked ambitions, and welcomed him and his family into the community. “It’s a really inspiring story, the legacy they created – it’s undeniable,” said Caro, who closed the film with footage of the real-life athletes, many of whom still live in McFarland, running alongside the current competitors. “I hope that audiences come away (not only) entertained, (but also) moved and inspired. But personally, I hope they come away with a new appreciation for the phenomenal contribution that MexicanAmericans and other immigrant cultures make to this country.”

More Movies with UCSB

SBIFF 2015 is behind us – and even the Oscars are over after the first Sunday of this Sentinel fortnight – but indie and film estoria live on as two different organizations at UCSB are screening things you don’t normally get a chance to see in a commercial theater. Inside Perspectives: Future of the Past, the faculty-curated quarterly film series, returns to the thoroughly modern start of the art digital space known as the Pollock Theater on campus with a documentary about an old theater 100 miles down the 101, as Julia Marchese’s

CONDOR

Out of Print gets its Santa Barbara premiere on Wednesday, February 25. The film focuses on the history of the New Beverly Cinema in Los Angeles and its efforts to keep 35mm film and repertory programming alive. Marchese explores how audiences have maintained their passion for repertory houses amid financial, technological, and industrial change; screening classic, foreign, cult, and other films on actual film remains important, despite the industry’s shift to digital projection. Marchese, who worked at the New Beverly Cinema until recently, will join the series’ curators for a Q&A session following the film. That same night also launches UCSB Arts & Lecture’s two-day annual visit of the Best of Banff Mountain Film Festival downtown at the Arlington Theatre. Visit exotic locations around the world through top-notch film and video on mountain subjects, from their indigenous inhabitants to the extreme sports lovers who visit to environmental aspects. Nine different short films – which also delve into water sports and stream fishing – screen each night, including one of the big award winners from the festival each evening. A&L is also the presenter of Ready, Set, Adventure!, an international children’s film festival, back on campus this Sunday morning, February 22, at Campbell Hall. Curated by Elizabeth Shepherd of the Northwest Film Forum, the event combines live action and animated movies from countries including Argentina, Slovenia, Canada, Russia, Latvia, France, The Netherlands, and the U.S., with subjects ranging from aliens, robots, sharks, and monsters under the bed to mega sugar rushes and boy choirs run amok. Finally, Grasshopper for Grandpa, local filmmaker Casey McGarry’s half-hour doc about the history and evolution of Jimmy’s Oriental Gardens (now The Pickle Room), has its first non-SBIFF public screening on Sunday afternoon, March 1, at the Marjorie Luke. After the film, stay for a Q&A with McGarry, new owner Bob Lovejoy, a longtime patron who lovingly restored the former Jimmy’s to its 1947 glory, and 22-year veteran bartender Willy Gilbert, who is back behind the bar at The Pickle Room on Monday and Tuesday nights.

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by Tommie Vaughn Tommie adapted her love of the stage to the love of the

page. As lead singer for the band Wall of Tom, she created This Rock in My Heart and This Roll in My Soul, a fictional book series based loosely on her experiences in the L.A. music scene. Now she’s spending her time checking out and writing about all things Santa Barbara. Reach Tommie at www.TommieV.com or follow her on Twitter at TommieVaughn1.

Ablaze with Girl on Fire

usually don’t run, unless someone is chasing me. Thank goodness there will be a whole lotta people racing alongside me, in this year’s Girl on Fire 5K and 10K races. I got laced up with Karen Chaw, the co-race director, to get some background on the one of a kind event, happening soon on Saturday, March 7. Q. I love that you are helping to empower women, tell me how the idea for Girl on Fire (GOF) came about? A. Maisee, my co-race director, and I were running one day and thought it would be great idea to create a race that celebrates women and a race where all levels of runners and walkers could participate. At that moment, a dream was created, and Maisee and I never thought it would become a reality since we didn’t have any previous experience

as race directors. Fast-forward several months later, after I finished the Rome marathon in Italy, I was traveling on a train to Florence. I was really excited that I was able to complete my first marathon all by myself. I felt inspired to bring some of this energy back to Santa Barbara and try to encourage other women to live their dreams. I knew we didn’t have the experience to organize an event at this level, but I did know we had the confidence and courage to try. The day I returned from Italy, Maisee and a few friends met me at the airport. I was really excited to tell Maisee that I wanted to organize Girl on Fire, and when I did she was just as excited – and we agreed on the spot to work together. We gave ourselves a year to organize our race, market, and get our name out in the community. Our goal was to register

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Are you ready to run?

500 participants. Our event was soldout about a month before race day. This is our second year, and we’ve added more spots. Our current numbers (we are more than 90-percent full) indicate that we are on target to hit our goal and plan to sell out again soon. What’s your inspiration? We want women to know that being beautiful is not defined by your looks or physical appearance, but by your inner strength. We think beautiful is being empowered to be who you are, to be strong and aim high, and to do the things that inspire you. Life can be hard and challenging, but if you believe in yourself, you can really make anything happen. This could be traveling around the world… solo, starting a rock band, trekking up Mt. Everest or run a 5K or 10K – even if you thought you never could do it. Organizing the Girl on Fire 5K and 10K was one of our dreams. We hope our story inspires other women to live up to their potential and make their dreams a reality. Our tag line is: “Be Strong. Be Brave. Believe.” How does running help empower women? We think running empowers everyone who tries the sport. Not only does running allow you to release your daily stress, we believe it also challenges you to take your mind and body to limits you thought they could never reach. Running (or walking) allows you to clear your mind, focus and push yourself. The accomplishment of running five, 13.1, or 26.2 miles or more definitely leaves you feeling inspired! We have had new mothers, women of all ages and runners/walkers of all levels join. We hope the energy of our event will help inspire other women to come back to the sport, continue with it or at least give it a try. Also, running is a great exercise to do with your girlfriends!

A family that runs together, wins together. That’s Randy, Diane, and Abby Smith, who was the first-place winner in the 5K youth overall division.

This is your second year for GOF, how is the event shaping up compared to last year? Our first year was really important to us. We put together a team of individuals who were not only runners, but who also had a specific skill set to offer to the race. As runners, we had a good idea of how we wanted to organize our race and what we wanted to offer. We wanted to make sure that our participants had a great experience – this was extremely important to us. Although our race was small in comparison to a half or full marathon, we still wanted to provide the same type of experience. We were able to accomplish this goal by providing race shirts, finisher’s medals, having our race timed professionally, professional photographers on the course, and a finisher’s village with live music and a beer garden. Additionally, our course is currently pending USATF (USA Track & Field) certification. We had a lot of great feedback from our first year and tried to keep the momentum going this year. Of course, none of this would be possible without the help of our sponsors and our partners support. Also, we truly appreciate the community welcoming our race and the volunteer support that we have had.

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This includes a 5K and 10K race. Where is the course and what is the fee and what are the requirements for participating? The start and finish line is at Leadbetter Beach. The 5K is $45 and the 10K is $50. The race is open to all women, men, and youth 10 years of age and older. There will be a finisher’s village at Leadbetter Beach for all participants and spectators to enjoy. There will be live music, booth vendors, and a beer garden sponsored by Figueroa Mountain Brewing. It’s going to be fun and festive! Your charity selection this year is Girls Rock Santa Barbara. How are your charities selected and why Girls Rock? The first year, our team decided to support The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society (LLS), because a few of our staff members had a personal connection with the cause and knew someone who has had cancer or lost someone to cancer. Through Girl on Fire, we were able to raise $6,000 for the LLS. This year, we chose to collaborate with Girls Rock SB because they have a similar mission to Girl on Fire. We also think it’s great that there is a local non-profit organization dedicated to empowering young girls through the performing arts such as music. A lot of times, girls are steered in a different direction other than music, and we think GRSB’s programs offers girls another option to be creative while building their self-esteem. Building a young girl’s confidence during these years is very important, as it helps shape who they become as a teenager or young woman – it affects what choices they may make in the future. Anything else you want to add? This year, we are offering a free run club that meets on Saturdays at 8 am at Leadbetter Beach. It’s free and open to all levels, and you do not have to be registered to join us. It started in January and was designed to help participants train for the 5K or 10K. We also host Lululemon’s run club on Mondays at 6 pm. Again, this is open to the community and all levels. Both clubs will run until (Saturday) March 7. Our race is open to men, too, because we want our men to celebrate and honor the women in their lives either by running with or cheering for them on the course. We want the men out there to support their wife, mothers, sisters, girlfriend, or best friend. We would love if everyone would follow us on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter: Girl on Fire Run.

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Bi-Weekly Capitalist by Jeff Harding

Jeff Harding is a real estate investor and a writer on economics and finance. He is the former publisher of the Daily Capitalist, a popular economics blog. He is also an adjunct professor at SBCC.

Death of the Internet

his is about “Net Neutrality” – and it is not what you think it is. Here are three propositions I want you to choose from: 1) Internet service providers (ISPs) should provide the same service to all comers. 2) The government should take over the Internet and regulate service so that it is fair to all comers. 3) Consumers should be able to freely choose from a wide variety of Internet services and costs. I hope you chose number 3, because if you chose 1 or 2, you won’t get 3. Two weeks ago, the chairman of the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) proposed that the government regulate ISPs like a utility. Specifically the most significant point was “… priority service offered exclusively by a broadband provider to an affiliate should be considered illegal until proven otherwise.” In other words all customers must have the same service and it will be a crime for ISPs to offer better service to, say a business or an individual who wants a faster pipe and is willing to pay for it. Layered on top of this is a bureaucracy which will oversee and regulate something that wasn’t regulated before and doesn’t need regulation. The FCC chairman, Mr. Tom Wheeler, said, and I quote, “… Title II regulation [regulating it as a utility] can encourage investment and competition.” Not! Net Neutrality is not to be confused

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with “Open Internet” which advocates decentralized technological power, open standards, transparency, lack of censorship, and low barriers to entry. We pretty much have an Open Internet right now. You will recall that the Internet as we know it today grew without the government telling us how to do it; it was the result of fierce competition driven by technological innovation. Those innovators reaped huge financial rewards. We, the users of the Internet, reaped huge benefits in productivity and information. So, what is the problem and why do the government and Net Neutrality proponents want to regulate it now? The answer to that is these types favor the expansion of government power over our lives, they don’t trust us or entrepreneurs to make the “right” decisions, and they invent problems that don’t exist. There is a lot of background about this issue that is a beyond the scope of this article, but you should know that back in 1996 when the first regulation of the Internet was enacted, the Clinton Administration wisely decided on a “light touch” approach to regulation, which meant that the Internet was not be treated as a utility under Title II. In fact, Bill Kennard, then chairman of the FCC, said: “We can have openness and competition by allowing this market to develop unfettered by regulation. We can have openness and competition by following the FCC’s tradition of

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‘unregulation’ of the Internet. We can have openness and competition by having a FCC vigilant in its monitoring of anti-competitive behavior and bottlenecks, swift in its enforcement of the rules of the game, and humble in the use of its power.” He was right. For the past 40 years, the FCC has been moving away from heavy-handed regulation of radio, television, and telecommunications. The reason is that people saw that instead of fostering growth, the FCC fostered stagnation. As regulation relaxed, a whole world opened up to us. A good example of the FCC’s heavy hand, is AT&T – or Ma Bell, as it was known. What you see today as AT&T is not what it used to be. Before 1982,

The Internet as we know it today grew without the government telling us how to do it; it was the result of fierce competition driven by technological innovation AT&T had a monopoly on telephone communications. That’s right, there was in effect only one telephone company in the U.S. They achieved a monopoly through government power. In 1918, the government in essence nationalized the telephone system by locking AT&Tin place and giving it monopoly powers as the only phone company. Federal and state regulators determined services and prices to consumers – as if they knew what consumers wanted. AT&T, of course, was all for it. Basically, phone service really didn’t change much while AT&T had this monopoly. Telephones were leased from AT&T so you couldn’t own one, and you had to pay whatever price AT&Tand the regulators decided to charge you. Longdistance phone calls were expensive and rarely used. For more than 60 years, there were only a few phone styles and they all worked about the same. No answering machines, call waiting, conferencing, cordless phones, or auto dial. In the 1950s, they still had “party lines,” which meant you had to share a phone line with someone else because AT&T had no incentive to invest in new lines. By sharing, I mean that you would pick up the phone and hear your other “party” on the shared line and you had to wait until they hung up before you could make a call. I vividly remember hearing my brother yell at someone to get off the damned line so he could call his girlfriend. Things changed in 1982, and all

hell broke loose. Multiple new phone companies jumped into the business and engaged in cutthroat (i.e., healthy) competition. As a result, you could own your own phone with all kinds of services: answering machines, answering services, cordless phones, do-it-yourself conferencing, cheap long-distance calls, and cheaper monthly costs. And within a few years, you had mobile phones with even more competition. Now we have computers in our pockets, which double as telephones and cameras. And it’s pretty cheap. The mobile phone has changed the world. What happened in 1982? AT&T was broken up, their monopoly was ended, and the phone system was deregulated to allow competition. Now the government wants to take a step back to the bad old days and proposes to regulate the Internet like a utility. I can guarantee you that it will lead to no good. I’m not saying that the Internet will end up as a monopoly like AT&T. The lesson here is that government regulation stifles innovation rather than encourages it. The reason is that regulators tend to see the world as a static thing, and they attempt to control what now exists. What they don’t see is what could be and will be as a result of entrepreneurs disrupting the status quo with innovations that no one saw coming. The Internet is not just a “dumb” pipe. By requiring Net Neutrality, they are attempting to freeze the Internet in time, where everyone gets the same service and everyone pays the same thing. What that will do is discourage new investment and innovation. We wouldn’t allow that in any other business, so why should we allow it with Internet services? Imagine Auto Neutrality, where everyone gets a car with the same horsepower. That isn’t fair, and it would lead to stagnation and decline of the auto industry. If you want more or less Internet speed, you should be able to decide on your own and pay for the services you want. This is basic economics. As content providers offer us more and more choices, the “pipes” that deliver the Internet to our homes get crowded. Like every other economic good, there isn’t enough bandwidth to serve everyone the same, just as there aren’t enough Maseratis to go around. The only efficient and fair way to allocate bandwidth and to incentivize entrepreneurial innovators to improve our Internet life is to let the market, that is you and me, make free choices with our own pocketbooks. Net Neutrality is a scam and a power grab that will end badly. Fight back.

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In the Garden with

Mr. Greenjeans

by Randy Arnowitz “Mr. Greenjeans,” as he is known around

Santa Barbara, is a gardener, horticulturist and writer. He particularly enjoys working with roses, orchids and sharing the day with his golden retriever Peaches, who faithfully accompanies him in the field. Contact him at greenjeansmr@gmail.com

Listen to Your Plants This iceberg rose got impatient and leafed out before I could prune it. I’ll clean it up after its first big bloom.

om Booker, the character in Nicholas Evans’s novel The Horse Whisperer, assists Grace and her horse Pilgrim after both are severely injured in a riding accident. In that book, Tom convinces Pilgrim to lie down and allows Grace to stand on him. With one whisper – rider and horse are miraculously reunited and healed. Renowned dog trainer Cesar Millan can persuade a belligerent, 120-pound Rottweiler to share his bowl of kibble with a three-pound Chihuahua. Magic? No. A whisper. Claudia at Westchester Rescued Hamster Haven began her hamsterwhispering career with Maya, her first rescue hamster. Since then, she has whispered to countless forever and foster hamsters. (If only Claudia had been around when I was a kid to tell me why my hamster, Barney, kept eating his children.) Whether we’re talking ponies, pit bulls, or gerbils, if I were to guess what these three “whisperers” have in common, I’d say that before all the whispering happens, these folks probably just take some time to listen. And I’d bet that they not only listen with their ears, but with their hearts, as well. I know, I know, what’s my point? Well, sometimes when I prune or feed a plant at what may seem like the wrong time – or rather when the Sunset Western Garden Book or the nursery folks say it is the wrong time – there may be a good reason for me to do so, anyway. For example, a client may ask me, “Why did you cut the catmint down now when it still has a few flowers on it.” Well, I know that if I Google it or look it up in a gardening book, it will

say something like, “Catmint (Nepeta x faassenii), spring and summer bloomer, shear or cut back after flowering, moderate water, feed lightly, this-thatand the other thing.” Regardless of that official and bookish information, I have noticed one thing for sure about this plant. If it is tired, overgrown, finished blooming, blown over, flattened down, free of bees, turning yellow and getting woody or worse, it is probably ready to be cut back completely. However, if it is all of the above but there is no evidence of new, fresh growth sprouting way down there under the old foliage and stems, and I cut it back – there is a good chance that the whole thing will up and die. No questions asked. There are three morals to this story: 1. Observe with all your senses what a plant is telling you. 2. Catmint is sometimes unpredictable. 3. I sure can go on about just about anything. While I’m on the catmint soapbox, here’s what I do, if there is new growth beginning or if I’ve waited a bit too long and the new growth has indeed flushed out in a big way. I selectively cut the old, woody stems out from the new brightgreen stuff underneath. This takes a lot longer, but if you do have a lot of new growth and you chop all of that down with the old stuff, the plant has to regrow all of that again. I guess what I’m trying to say is that you don’t necessarily have to talk, sing, or read to your plants like back in the 1970s when everyone was going to fern bars and reading The Secret Life of Plants: A Fascinating Account of the Physical, Emotional, and Spiritual

Back in the days of waterbeds and macramé, folks had a guide book so they could communicate with their philodendrons

Relations Between Plants and Man by Peter Tompkins and Christopher Bird. I just try to take my cues from the plant, if possible, and use horticultural common sense. Some of the last few Iceberg roses I had to prune this January had already sprouted out due to the warmer weather. In a normal winter, I would remove the remaining, yellow leaves and then prune the rose back appropriately. Since these few plants already had pristine, glossy, red-green leaves popping out all over, I decided to just shape the plant slightly. Since

Icebergs are foolproof and forgiving of almost everything, I decided I can always clean them up further after their first big bloom. After I whispered to the plant and listened for the response, we agreed that this was the best course of action. My hydrangeas were ready to be cut back early, also. I find that everyone prunes hydrangeas differently. Some folks cut them nearly to the ground, while others simply thin them to keep them tall. I generally trim the older, crossing branches and prune back the stems that have already bloomed, leaving the ones that haven’t flowered yet. This year, though, they were practically shouting at me every time I walked by them. They were impatient this year and wanted to be tended early. Of course, I’m mostly being facetious here, but considering that we live in a temperate climate and our confused weather is warm when it’s supposed to be cold and cold when it’s supposed to be hot, I find that a gardener doesn’t just have to be a Begonia Whisperer, a Succulent Whisperer, a Bamboo Whisperer, a Groundcover Whisperer, and a Weed and Wisteria Whisperer – but a Lavender Listener, a Lantana Listener and a Lobelia Listener, as well.

Randy’s Quick Pick Want to get more from your edible garden? Need to reduce your produce bill? The University of California Cooperative Extension Master Gardeners of Santa Barbara County will present a free, two-hour public workshop, “Year-round Fruits and Veggies from the Garden” on Saturday, February 28, from 2 to 4 pm. The workshop will be at Holy Cross Church, Church Hall, 1740 Cliff Drive in Santa Barbara. The program will be presented by master gardeners Hugh Kelly, Helen Fowler, Diane Galvan, and Ken Falstrom, with guest speaker Cerena Childress. A tour of Harmony Gardens will follow. More info at cesantabarbara.ucanr.edu.

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CINEMA SCOPE by James Luksic A longtime writer, editor and film critic, James has

worked nationwide for several websites and publications – including the Dayton Daily News, Key West Citizen, Topeka Capital-Journal and Santa Ynez Valley Journal. California is his eighth state. When he isn’t watching movies or sports around the Central Coast, you can find James writing and reading while he enjoys coffee and bacon, or Coke and pizza.

Loveless in Seattle

Moving Right Along

eeing as how Academy Awards predictions would be old news only two days after this Sentinel is published, I’ll forgo the forecasts in favor of anticipating a pair of potential gems slated for April and beyond: If you haven’t seen the trailer for Child 44, a war drama spotlighting Gary Oldman, Tom Hardy, and Noomi Rapace, it would behoove you to look it up. Director Daniel Espinosa, who served up the respectable Safe House three years ago, appears to have cooked up a gripping, brooding mystery about a Soviet agent and a string of kids’ murders. Another military-tinged thriller soon shooting its way into town is The Gunman, whose ho-hum title is countered by two Hollywood titans: Sean Penn and Javier Bardem. Here’s hoping Pierre Morel, who helmed the original Taken, can be trusted to let his capable co-stars handle the heavy lifting. As for the Oscars: rather than take another stab at reading the minds of Academy members, I’ll just reiterate that I would be most satisfied if Birdman director Alejandro Iñárritu and star Michael Keaton are smiling at night’s end. Although I’ve presumed Boyhood would prevail as Best Picture, a darkhorse named The Imitation Game could prance into the winner’s circle. In any case, there is a mixed bag of mainstream mayhem careening around Central Coast cinemas:

Color Scheme

n Black or White, Kevin Costner embodies an alcoholic attorney and widower whose young granddaughter becomes the centerpoint of a custody battle, with the girl’s grandmother (Octavia Spencer) leading the charge. The wild card in this deck is a drifter and druggie, the biological father (André Holland) who tries convincing everyone that he’s turned his life around. Squaring off with the hero’s law firm is Anthony Mackie, striving for calmness amid a finger-pointing storm. Director Mike Binder – who oversaw Costner in the sharply drawn The Upside of Anger – proves it’s worth reuniting with his headliner, who continues to wear his age well on screen, particularly during the

INTERMEZZO & A MOVIE +

byplay with a straight-laced tutor and driver-for-hire (Mpho Koaho). To take the point further, this marks Costner’s purest and most compelling work since A Perfect World. We’re all aware of what Spencer can do with substantial material (think of her Oscar-winning effort in The Help), so if there’s a revelation here it’s Holland in the toughest and most thankless role as the ashamed dad; I didn’t detect a shred of insincerity. The film moves slowly out of the gate, but once its wheels are greased, it cruises into a refreshing blend of banter, tension, and unpredictability.

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plashy and trashy 50 Shades of Grey, based on the guilty-pleasure (I’m told by some ladies) novel by E.L. James, follows the path of Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan) a self-made billionaire executive, whose notion of working appears to be giving orders to his chauffeur and seducing virgins. In the early going, he meets-cute with a nervous student (The Social Network’s Dakota Johnson, whose players have a penchant for sleeping with billionaires), who proves her “intimidated” feelings by tripping while entering Grey’s office. The pseudo-salacious dialogue, which very well could’ve been scribbled on the screenwriter’s cocktail napkins, can’t be bothered to ring true: the man will insist with a straight face, “I don’t make love” – but then precisely proceeds to do so. For all the controversy about the story’s sadomasochism in the “play room,” its ambitions seem pedestrian and thin-skinned compared to the same subject explored in Secretary more than a dozen years ago. For me, the young lady’s propensity for lip-biting and a river of crocodile tears led to infinite shades of apathy.

Still Life

s the eponymous heroine of Still Alice, Julianne Moore excels – as she so often has without much fanfare. Something seems amiss when the revered professor and guest speaker begins forgetting names and dates, then gets lost while taking a jog around town. The culprit, much to the disbelief of her husband (an unspoiled and heartfelt Alec Baldwin) and grown children, is early onset Alzheimer’s. If the particulars sound familiar, if the overall essence is short of exciting, at least it’s handled delicately by co-directors Wash Westmoreland and Richard Glatzer. The mother/daughter friction centering around the youngest sibling’s refusal to attend college is well-conveyed, no matter how forced it must have seemed on the written page. I also appreciated the laptop moments wherein the heroine creates a video of herself, so she could replay its ominous instructions at a later date. Routine incidents within this medical-melodrama realm have become too stale: when our leading lady misplaces a kitchen item (a similar incident occurred in the superior Away From Her) and loses her cellphone in the house (why didn’t a family member simply dial her number, so the missing item would ring or vibrate?), discerning viewers could be excused for rolling their eyes or peeking at their watches.

Low-brow High-rise

f The Loft’s murder-mystery basis – involving five professional, married men sharing access to a bachelor pad to enjoy discreet flings – isn’t implausible enough, the movie’s climax slips and slides into a bizarre, absurd Gone Girl-esque territory. Karl Urban, who during the first hour is little more than a pair of arching eyebrows, ostensibly morphs into a game-show host or motivational speaker; it’s as if he’s channeling Tony Robbins, rather than an architect accused of homicide. James Marsden (best-known as the jilted husband in The Notebook) acquits himself well as usual; I’ve often viewed him as a fine actor who needs better advice when choosing scripts (Walk of Shame, The Best of Me, and 27 Dresses, anyone?). Any semblance of plot or story arc centers around a woman’s corpse on the loft’s only bed (overused and probably under-cleaned). Aside from the camera panning from each suspect’s facial expression, most of the action consists of their repeated exclamations: “Oh, my God!” and “What the hell?” Its bloody, bow-tied finale is no less trite.

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youngsters. For the Americans, that constituted celebrities, texting, video games, tweets, Facebook, tattoos, and “stuff.” For the Chinese, that constituted math, science, technology, languages, finance and research, and development. It made it seem obvious who would inherit the 21st century if we didn’t do right by the children in our country and in a hurry. Speaking of China, I just heard on the radio that Facebook now has more friends than there are people in that country. And from time to time, it seems like Armageddon has arrived if Facebook or Twitter goes down for an hour. It seems that the youth of the world are rapidly becoming a population of Internet addicts. And I can understand that. Facebook and Twitter can be become very habit-forming – you’re never out of touch with countless number of friends. It reminds me of when I was young of the excitement of getting just one pen pal. Multiply that by countless pen pals that you can be in contact with 24/7, and you start to get the idea. But before you go thinking that the United States will lose its standing as a superpower sooner rather than later, think again. When I was growing up as a member of Generation X (the generation between the Baby Boomers

and the Millennials), I was one of the gifted students – straight A’s, G.A.T.E. and AP classes, and third in my class at Santa Barbara High School. I was accepted to Princeton University, where I graduated with an A- grade point average and also received an A- on my thesis. I also graduated from the University of Denver Sturm College of Law and passed the California Bar. Beyond this, I have had extensive and successful experience as a tutor, and have worked at the Boys & Girls Club and Twelve 35 Teen Center. The bottom line is that the minds of today’s kids are not just full of random “stuff” and thus are not capable of learning. The pace of the world has become much faster and they have adapted along with it. Whereas I focused on one thing at a time when I was a student, today’s students can multitask and use multimedia to their advantage. It is this pace that can give rise to the impression that they can’t possibly learn the fundamentals and surf the Web at the same time. If we’re going to keep up with the Chinese, India, and even Russia, we have to adapt our teaching methods to today’s kids – it’s not 1950 anymore. But the good news is that there are modern methods which can teach today’s kids not to go too fast and to learn to organize

their thoughts and communication. One example comes from a summer session I participated in at the Boys & Girls Club of Santa Barbara. We, as many adults, believed young minds can go to mush if not stimulated when school is out. During our summer session, we would implement a daily activity in the computer lab to challenge young minds. For the week of the Fourth of July, we had the kids play a computer simulation called “The Oregon Trail.” As the name suggests, this game allowed the kids to lead a caravan of individuals along the trail and have as many people survive the trip as possible. The kids would be able to stock up on supplies and make decisions in the face of various trials and tribulations along the way. Now, you might think we were spoonfeeding the students with a high-tech video game full of fancy graphics and sound effects. But you would be wrong. The version we used was from the time when I was growing up with computers. Just for nostalgia’s sake, the game was “stored” on two floppy disks. And the kids loved it. In fact, they loved the game so much, they asked permission to play it again during subsequent sessions. In addition to that, I took it upon myself to find a computer-animation program that kids could benefit from

in terms of exercising their creativity instead of playing mindless video games. After much searching, I found what I was looking for in terms of the GoAnimate web site. It was simple yet powerful, and even better it was free. The kids at the Boys & Girls Club enjoyed it so much that they hardly ever asked to play videogames instead. And one child enjoyed it so much that he declared himself head of the animation club and started teaching other children. And yes, as you might have guessed, he surpassed even my abilities. When I taught GoAnimate at the Twelve35 Teen Center, all the kids enjoyed it as well. One student was so proud of his cartoon that he insisted on showing it to the Teen Coordinator. GoAnimate is no longer free, but it is now available in a wonderful version for schools: goanimate4schools.com/. So if you’re a Baby Boomer or a member of The Greatest Generation, take heart. Today’s students are ready and willing to learn. We just might, however, have to add a spoonful of multimedia sugar to make the medicine go down. And you can take it from me, a proud member of Generation X, that it is worth the investment. Lyle D. Medved, Esq. Santa Barbara

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COMMERCIAL CORNER

State Street Prices PSF

Chris Parker Austin Herlihy

Commercial real estate agents with Radius Group who have completed over $550,000,000 in total transaction value and Leased/Sold over 2,000,000 SF since 2005. In 2012, along with Radius principle Steve Brown, the team completed 42 deals comprised of 19 sales and 23 lease transactions totaling $113.5 Million in sales volume and more than $21.5 Million in lease value upward of 500,000 square feet.

$700.00 $600.00 $500.00 $400.00 $300.00

South Coast Logs Record 103 sales in 2014

PSF $200.00 $100.00 $0.00 2008

2009

2010

2011

2012

2013

PSF

2014

In Santa Barbara County, property prices have been steadily growing since the Great Recession. Specifically, the graph demonstrates increasing PSF prices on State Street since 2008.

SOURCE: Federal Reserve Bank of St. Louis, 2015

nd we thought it couldn’t get any better. Boy, were we wrong. More commercial properties were sold in the South Coast this year than ever before, totaling 103 transactions and just under half a billion dollars in sales volume ($425,899,476 to be specific). Consider that it was not that long ago in 2009 when the market, in the midst of the Great Recession, sunk to a measly 35 sales. Still, perhaps it’s even more impressive that at 103 sales, we not only crushed the previous record years (there were 83 sales in 2013, and 85 in both 2005 and 2012, the previous highwater mark), but we did so on the heels of a strong 3-year stretch from 2011 to 2013.

Are We at the Peak?

As 2014 proved, records are made to be broken. It was a record-breaking year for the commercial real estate market as a whole, and we really see no signs of a slowing market. Already this year there are some large properties in escrow, the pool of buyers remains strong, and there are several large properties slated to come to market. Not to mention interest rates have fallen, enticing investors to purchase properties with leverage, as well as refinance and pull more money out to look for new investments. While we may be at the peak number

of transactions due to limitations on our inventory, it does not necessarily mean prices will fall or cap rates will increase.

National Trends

According to a recent Bloomberg article, in some larger markets such as New York and Los Angeles, residential real estate markets are seeing the impact of the oil crisis and the strengthening U.S. dollar affect home prices as foreign investors simply don’t have the same buying power. Locally, it is doubtful that we will see the same impact, as the number of foreign buyers is extremely limited. However, we could see a slowing in the number of transactions to be more in line with the 17-year average of 17 sales per quarter.

What Drove Sales?

In the fourth quarter, there were several large 1031 exchange transactions and several buyers who took their gains from other investments, but the primary factor that contributed to the swath of sales in 2014 was increased investor confidence and a general easing of the financials markets. Simply put, banks are giving away almost-free money. While it is true that many buyers bought properties without loan contingencies, it was not uncommon that the money used to purchase property came from

refinancing other assets, meaning that interest rates still played a large role in influencing sales.

new owner should begin a muchneeded renovation of the property in the coming months.

Local Economic News

Groundbreaking News

The unemployment rate in Santa Barbara County has fallen to just 5.7 percent, as reported by the Bureau of Labor and Statistics on December 30. Industry sectors such as farm, leisure and hospitality, construction, financial activities, professional and business services, and educational and health services combined to add 5,600 jobs in Santa Barbara County in April 2014 alone. The accompanying graph demonstrates the unemployment rate in Santa Barbara County since 2006. As indicated, the rate has not been this low since October 2008, the beginning of the Great Recession. According to a recent Noozhawk article, Santa Barbara County’s unemployment ranking in April, compared to the other 57 counties in California, positioned the county in ninth place behind Sonoma, Santa Clara, and San Luis Obispo counties.

Notable SB County Sales

A premier office building located at 111 E. Victoria Street (Penfield & Smith) sold to a local investor. The property was sold with P&S leasing back the building for the next seven years. There were two notable restaurant sales on State Street that sold for large numbers: the restaurant space located at 734 State – Relais de Paris – is a recently remodeled, prime storefront space that sold for more than $1,160 per square foot. In addition, 3747 State Street (Jack in the Box) sold for more than $1,580 per square foot. The center located at 1187 Coast Village Road (home to Giovanni’s Pizza and many other notable stores) in Montecito was sold to a local investor coming out of a 1031 Exchange. The

Entrada De Santa Barbara has broken ground! The developer received a grading permit, which allowed them to level the parcel adjacent to Mountain Air Sports (previous home to Wheel Fun Rental & Hot Spots Coffee). In addition, the creekwidening project at Cabrillo Boulevard where Rusty’s previously was located has also broken ground. There are several other endeavors slated for development in the State Street beachfront area, including the children’s museum and the extension of the Harbor View Inn. Look for the lower area of State Street to be congested for the next several years as these construction projects rise from the ground.

What to Look for in 2015

You may recall, in our previous quarterly reports from 2014, we anticipated smooth sailing until interest rates inevitably rose due to the Fed abolishing quantitative easing in October 2014. We suspected this would be the catalyst for slowing the current bull market. What we did not see coming was that interest rates would actually decrease amid the current oil crisis and the effect of the strong U.S. dollar, which deters foreign investment in the U.S. The realization we came to is something we already knew: that the market is much more dynamic than we give it credit for, and the future is impossible to predict. What’s next? Well, it is difficult to say. We still believe interest rates will go up at some point, but the reality is that our financial system is so complex, it’s unknown as to what degree they will climb. Rising rates will drive rising cap rates, which may slow and turn the market – but until then, hold on.

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six up for grabs beginning at $862,768. The Plan 6 units, also two stories, aren’t too shabby either: these 3-bdrm, 3.5-bath, 2,696-sq-ft units are priced from $920,000. What you’ll get in Plan 4 (one left) “from $765,000,” is 1,839 sq ft of living space, an excellent utility room with a deep sink, washer and dryer, and lots of cabinet space above the counter and below; just outside, there is a mini-patio with a waterfall. The eat-in kitchen includes a breakfast nook, bar-counter seating, a larger space for dinner and/or guests, mid-range Kitchen-Aid appliances, a six-burner stove, large single oven, and a microwave. Downstairs, there is a small living room with gas fireplace, a powder room, and a large hall closet. There are three bedrooms on the second floor, up a carpeted staircase. Other amenities include a two-car garage and plantation shutters throughout. Plan 5 features 4 bedrooms and 3 baths in 2,350 sq ft of space. An inviting gated entry gives the townhouse a sense of an enclosed single-family home. The dining room is up front, across the foyer from the living room with gas fireplace. The den leads into the kitchen with a center island. There is one small bedroom downstairs, along with a powder room with a shower/tub combination, and a good-sized hall closet. The carpeted stairway is more commodious than the one in Plan 4, and the bathrooms are more elaborate and have more space. The utility room is upstairs. The master bedroom is bigger than the one in Plan 4, and everything is just slightly larger; crown molding along the ceilings adds an elegant touch. If I didn’t already own a home, I’d probably buy one here. Homeowners Association fees are from $257 to $350 a month, depending upon the size of the unit. If you were to purchase this unit and decide you won’t need it until you retire or move here, I believe it would be an easy rental; whether it be with VRBO, Holiday Rental, or simply a one- or two-year lease, you are very likely to come out ahead of the game. I don’t see a down side, but of course you’ll need to check with the homeowners’ association rules about renting to make that determination.

820 West Victoria

If you haven’t been to the west side of Santa Barbara lately, you should come by, as gentrification is taking place rather rapidly. An asking price of $599,000 gets you what I also believe represents a reasonable value. This is a 1920s-era smaller home of about 1,300 sq ft, fronted by a white picket fence and a small front yard;

out back there are views of the nearby mountains. Parking includes a one-car garage, a designated one-car space by the back door, and additional parking on the private lane that connects four other small homes in this enclave. Wood floors, room for a table and chairs in the kitchen, good cabinet space, high ceilings, and small bedrooms make up this house, which I like more for its potential than its current state. With a little work, it can become a cute and comfortable place to live. The roof and gutters look in reasonably good shape (but make sure you give it a close inspection!). There is an additional homeowners association fee of $355 a month that covers everything outside except for the small area at the front door behind the picket fence. In the back of the house, there is also a small patio that is something of a mess right now, but could easily become your afternoon and early evening hangout when you’re not sitting on your front porch. Santa Barbara’s west side is moving up and this starter home will benefit along with the neighborhood, so it seems like a decent investment. But please, do your due diligence and get a good engineering report. After all, the house is nearly 100 years old.

Downtown

The upper east side seems fairly priced, and I couldn’t spot what I thought was a “bargain.” There really aren’t any lower-priced homes in this area, so we left it out of our survey. On the other hand, if location is your thing, you ought to inspect the brand-new condominiums at what is called Alma del Pueblo at the corner of Victoria and State, right in the center – the heart – of downtown Santa Barbara. Just blocks away from the Paseo Nuevo shopping center, and right across the street from

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some of the best restaurants in town. Alma del Pueblo’s LEED Platinum units feature strand bamboo flooring, nine-foot ceilings throughout, and all kinds of up-to-the-minute features such as being prewired for cable and every conceivable technological breakthrough. Most too have their own private patios. These don’t come cheap, but there are still 20 left for sale (17 have been sold) and they are certainly worth a look. As for the price, well, who’d have thought that a couple of condos at the corner of Coast Village Road and Coast Village Circle would have been snapped up at $2.5 million? They were, and they’ll probably seem like a bargain five years from now, so...

The Rental Market

We caught up with Michael Calcagno of the Calcagno & Hamilton Real Estate team at Sotheby’s via telephone; Michael and his working partner Nancy Hamilton are two of Sotheby’s most productive real estate agents. We spoke of the rental market and the direction of interest rates. What follows is the gist of our conversation: Q. I have concluded that it is almost cheaper to own something than it is to rent at this point in time, which was not the case, say, two or three years ago. Is that observation accurate? A. It one-hundred percent is. The rental market is almost not sustainable, in my opinion. It’s crazy what people are getting for rent. I’m happy about it, as I own some [rental properties], but it’s really quite insane. So right now, with prices being somewhat reasonable and interest rates being this low, it is an excellent time to buy. If one were to rent a 3-bedroom, 2-bath home in, say, San Roque, what would that go for? You’re looking at – depending upon the size of the home – four to five thousand dollars a month. And, even at those prices, you probably won’t find a whole lot of them out there. It’s because of the demand; two years ago, that same house would have rented at $3,200, now they’re getting maybe $4,800. UCSB is expanding again and an additional 5,000 students are expected over the course of the next decade. One has to assume there won’t be enough residential units built on campus to handle them, which will put additional pressure on the rental market, won’t it? Until UCSB builds out all that land... and actually a lot of it is being built for faculty housing... we’re going to continue to have a problem, which will grow. And, I think we’ll still have a problem after it is built. You’ve got companies like Sonos, Citrix, Lynda.com, all are recruiting heavily and when all those people get here, they don’t want to buy right away because of sticker shock, and they’re unfamiliar with the area. So that’s pushing the rental market even more. The most likely type of person who can afford a $5,000 rental would be a student, who could gang up with three or four other students, right? Correct. And, if you look at the value of that home in San Roque, at $1.2 or $1.3 million, maybe even $900,000, now do the mortgage on it. Where do you believe home prices go from here? I would have said two or three months ago that I felt like it was getting kind of

Mortgage Options

Here is what Loan Officer Associate Blaine Parker of Bank of Manhattan quotes are his bank’s current rates as we go to print: Interest-only loans up to $4 million: 5/1 ARM @ 3.75%; 7/1 ARM @ 4.125%; 10/1 ARM @ 4.5%. Fully amortized jumbo loans from $417,001 to $5 million: 5/1 ARM @ 3.375%; 7/1 ARM @ 3.625%; 10/1 ARM @ 3.875%; 15-year fixed @ 3.375%; 30-year fixed @ 4%. Fully amortized conforming loans up to $417,000: 5/1 ARM @ 3.375%; 7/1 ARM @ 3.625%; 10/1 ARM @ 37.75%; 15-year fixed @ 3.25%; 30-year fixed @ 3.95%. The above rates are all based upon zero points. Minimum FICO scores differ among loan programs, but 620 is a fairly common minimum to qualify; there are programs, however, for which one can qualify with an even lower FICO. The amount of down payment typically required is 20%, but, says Mr. Parker, 5-10% down payments are not uncommon and are available. There are loans available (mostly for first-time home buyers) with just 3.5% down as well. Bank of Manhattan has the ability to lend up to $1.5 million at a loan-to-value of 89.90% with no Private Mortgage Insurance (PMI). slow, but something has happened over the past two or three weeks. In that period, we’ve had six escrows open, just out of the blue. It’s definitely picked up. And the reasons, do you think? Well, one, buyers are afraid of interest rates ticking up and... well, two of our escrows are with people from Boston, and you know what the weather has been back there. Every year for the past three years you get that freeze and people say, “That’s it. I’m done,” and they come out here and buy something. And, as we move into late spring and early summer? We’ll get more inventory, but until they raise interest rates, I think the thought that they are about to go up is something that’ll push it even more. How about the down payment: doesn’t having to come up with 20% of the sale price restrict the market? Doesn’t it put a lid on the upward movement of prices? If you have a million-dollar property, you’ve got to come up with a couple hundred thousand dollars. That’s tough for most people. But, you’ve got all these investors coming in and buying up these homes and then renting them out. I’ve got one client that’s purchased fourteen different homes in the last few years and is using them strictly as rentals. They can park some safe money, get it out of the stock market, make a steady income and [somewhere down the road] you’re also getting an uptick in the price. So, are we in a buyers or sellers market? As far as prices go, we’re clearly equal. In 2004, it was a sellers market; two or three years ago, it was a buyers market, but right now it’s about even, depending upon the price range. When people put their house on at a reasonable price, it gets sold. If you’ve got that seller looking to make an extra hundred thousand, it’ll sit. The market that does seem soft is the three- to four-million-dollar range, but the upper end seems to be where the real deals are. On the flip side of that, if you’re getting something in the eight-hundred or nine-hundred-thousand dollar range in Santa Barbara, you should be thrilled. I know it’s a crazy number, but I don’t know if you’ll see that much longer.

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