The Brick Magazine | September 2018

BRICK

THE

SEPTEMBER 2018

MAGAZINE

SKIP SICKNESS THIS SCHOOL YEAR THE BRICK GIFT GUIDE FASHION REPORT: 2018 FALL TRENDS

PLUS! ANN ARBOR’S KICKSHAW THEATER

Kami Meader THE ONLY WOMAN IN THE ROOM

ANN ARBOR

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THE

BRICK MAGAZINE

SEPTEMBER 2018

CONTENTS

Publisher • Sarah Whitsett

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Assistant to the publisher • Jillian Fraioli

Art Director • Jennifer Knutson

Copy Editor • Angelina Bielby

Marketing Director • Steve DeBruler

Photographer • Heather Nash

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Contributors >> Angela Harrison Marilyn Pellini Lisa Profera Bernadette Quist

Bridget Baker Kristen Domingue Jillian Fraioli Jane Griffith

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Randi Rubenstein Stephanie Saline Maria Sylvester Virginia Yurich

Contact Us >>

The Brick Magazine, LLC 734.707.8156

Email: office@thebrickmagazine.com Visit us on the web at thebrickmagazine.com

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Advertising Inquires >> email office@thebrickmagazine.com or call 734.707.8156

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Find Us ... >>

Visit us on the web at thebrickmagazine.com to view our online digital edition, locations on where to find us, or subscribe to have THE BRICK MAGAZINE delivered directly to your home.

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The Brick Magazine >>

THE BRICK MAGAZINE makes every effort to provide accurate

10 16 20 24

can be duplicated without the permission of The Brick Magazine, LLC

Fashion Report: 2018 Fall Trends The Bounty of September Finding What You Seek Ann Arbor’s Kickshaw Theater The Brick Gift Guide

28

Skip Sickness this School Year

32

How to Process Low-Hanging Fruit

34 38 42 44

information in advertising, editorial content and placement;

responsibility or liability for inaccurate information or placement. No content

The Only Woman In the Room Life as an Aerospace Unicorn with Kami Meader

26

however, we cannot make any claims as to the accuracy of information provided by advertisers or editorial contributors and will accept no

Let It Go Using the Changing Seasons to Release What You Don’t Need

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How Time Outside Will Help Increase Learning Instead of Heading Deeper Down the Doubt Path...

Memories in My Button Jar Woman on the Street Coming Home from the Coffee Shop Back to School

The photos featured in our printed version of the August issue cover article were attributed erroneously.

They were taken by Jennifer Reed. We regret the mistake and any confusion due to our error.

6 | The Brick Magazine

AN HONEST, ARTFUL AND DOCUMENTARY APPROACH TO WEDDING, FAMILY AND PORTRAIT PHOTOGRAPHY FOR SOUTHEAST MICHIGAN & BEYOND

h e a t h e r n a s h p h o t o g r a p h y. c o m h m n September p h o t o @2018 g m a i|l . 7c o m

LET IT GO

USING THE CHANGING SEASONS TO RELEASE WHAT YOU DONâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;T NEED

By Bridget Baker

Photo by Tyler Nix

8 | The Brick Magazine

W

ith the changing season comes the desire for more — as in, more things to make us feel like we are “ready for fall.” We want to impress people with our personal essays about “what we did for summer vacation” in order to keep up with the neighbors. Even though it’s still warm out in most places in September (hello, Indian Summer!), we suddenly feel compelled to go out and buy turtleneck sweaters and autumn-hued makeup palettes.

What if we used this time to reinvent ourselves with a new season? What if the reinvention wasn’t about adding more activities, more clothes, or more decorative fall throw pillows to our lives? What if, instead, it were about letting go?

As the leaves begin to fall from the trees, as the night air cools, we, too, can shed what no longer works for us. Did your summer travels take you somewhere that had you reassessing your career, your relationships, your priorities? Is there some way your life would benefit from releasing your clutter, your outdated beliefs, or your expectations? Do you want to make more time in your life for what matters? Now is the time to let go of what’s in the way.

This is not just a physical purging, but a shift in thinking. It’s a bit of a chicken-andegg situation when it comes to decluttering. As you begin to let go of your physical belongings, you can let go of your mental chatter, and vice-versa.

Bridget Baker web presence sherpa productivity hacker digital nomad freelance blogger minimalist • adventurer speaker • full-time RVer www.instagram.com/travellightlife/ Travellightlife.com September 2018 | 9

Photo by Heather Nash

10 | The Brick Magazine

THE ONLY WOMAN IN THE ROOM Life As an Aerospace Unicorn with Kami Meader

by Kristen Domingue Photos by Heather Nash

When we spoke to Kamala Meader, founder and CEO of Aerokam Engineering, we were inspired by her tenacity despite the challenges she recounts being one of the only women in her classrooms and jobs. Caught at the crossroads between societal expectations of being “the perfect mother” while having a “full career,” Kami’s honesty about the costs and the choices serve to remind us that while having it all is possible, having it all at once is not.

W

hen I consider how I got into aerospace engineering, I think DNA chose my path. My father was an aerospace stress engineer and he used to take me to work to solve numeric equations. We also built and flew remote control aircraft together for fun. I went on to study Aerospace Engineering at the University of Cincinnati. I was only 17 when I had to declare my major for college; I had no idea if this was my passion or just making my dad proud. I’m still not sure.

I never thought I’d start my own aerospace company. In the end, it was the right choice. I remember telling my husband, “What will I do as an aerospace engineer in Michigan?” He wanted to move back to Ann Arbor after living in San Antonio for ten years. Our son was three and he didn’t know his grandparents or cousins, which bothered both of us, but moving back to Michigan meant that I would have to give up my career.

At the time, I was the only woman in my class.

When I started my first job in San Antonio, Texas amongst 300 engineers, I was the only woman in the building. That was interesting — I had three bathrooms all to myself.

Ultimately, we moved back in 1995, and I quit working to be a stay-at-home mom. We were only in Ann Arbor for four months when my husband lost his job. I called my old boss and began working from home. With my situation the way it was, I decided that starting my own business was

September 2018 | 11

the most practical thing to do. After 23 years, I’m still working with my own company.

and family. However, I never felt like I was giving enough to any part of my life.

Now my children are 24 and 21, and they are both currently in college. Since my company is over my garage in my house, my work and family have always been blended. It was nice working in my home so that I could get dishes, laundry, and bills done during work breaks and help my kids with homework and sports after they came home from school. I always appeared pulled-together and organized on the outside with my career

When I really thought about it, I felt I could only give myself a “C” grade at work, family, and selfcare. My job competition was always men with non-working wives who handled their personal world. My husband is in sales and travels a lot, so I had trouble competing for projects. My kids always complained that they couldn’t be part of more extra-curricular events since I had to work.

The truth is that I did the best I could. Of course,

12 | The Brick Magazine

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I didn’t always make perfect choices, but failing actually improved my decision-making and built my character.

In 2008, my mentor was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. He asked me if I could take over a high-security clearance project while he went through medical issues. I accepted the work and flew to Switzerland within a week of the diagnosis to work on the King of Saudi Arabia’s head-of-state aircraft.

Then, nine months later, my mentor died and my career was elevated to an international level with direct contacts at Airbus, Boeing, and the US government. I was asked to review and approve over 10,000 designs and oversee 400 engineers. Honestly, it began as an “acting” job. I was pretending that I was totally in control, all-knowing, and calm about heavy issues — all while thinking that my mentor would be cured of cancer and return to take back control. However, once I was immersed in the project, I was able to stop pretending.

My mentor was right, I really did know what to do and being in charge wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be.

The hardest challenge has always been and will continue to be my gender: a woman in a male-dominated world. I received unwanted attention from my classmates, teachers, and workmates. I never knew if I got an “A” or a “C” because I deserved it or if it was because I was a woman.

September 2018 | 13

My Control Theory professor made me go to the board every single day of class. No other classmate had to do that.

My Thermodynamics professor told me that I would never get higher than a C from him, because I’m a woman and I don’t need high grades to get a job, I’ll just fill someone’s quota.

At my first job, my boss’s boss asked me to sleep with him for a vice president position at the company. In the aircraft hangar, the mechanics would pinch my butt when I turned around.

When I had my first baby, I tried breastfeeding, but my boss wouldn’t allow me to go out to the aircraft to review projects. He believed that I needed to stay home, and secretly tried to get me to quit by making me work on the deskjob projects. Even now, when I attend Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) conferences, only about 1% of the people there are women, and it’s hard to blend into the background.

Photo by Heather Nash

14 | The Brick Magazine

When I look back on my career, one of the things I’m most proud of is my interns. They work so hard and love learning. I like to think I had a hand in that work ethic and

Photo by Heather Nash

love for education. I’ve always been outspoken, and I think that at least part of my success is due to that. By the same token, my advice to my younger self is to listen more. The quiet people don’t usually offer opinions, but they have a lot to say. My 25-year-old self talked too much and now, at 50, I think that I know very little.

Kami’s choice to stay in touch with her truth throughout her journey paints a brave path to follow for those of us who rise past the glass ceilings her life choices shattered. The challenge of trying to be it all and have it all is real. And we applaud Kami (and you) for the gargantuan effort it takes to find the path that works for you when the world provides no maps.

Photo by Heather Nash

Kristen M. Domingue is a copywriter and content marketing consultant in the New York City area.

When she’s not delivering on client projects, you can find her cooking up something gluten-free or in an internet rabbit hole on entrepreneurship or astrology.

September 2018 | 15

FASHION REPORT: 2018 Fall Trends

by Angela Harrison

W

elcome to The Brick’s very first September issue! September, specifically Labor Day, is considered the “Fashion New Year,” and the beginning of the Fall/Winter fashion season. This is a major time of year in the industry, with New York Fashion Week starting the first shows of the season (Sept.

6th), followed by London, Milan, and wrapping in Paris.

These runway shows take place throughout the month of September to show us what’s to come for Spring/ 16 | The Brick Magazine

Summer 2019; then they start up again in February with looks for Fall/Winter 2019. It can be confusing, but just think of it in opposites: fall shows have spring clothes, spring shows have fall clothes. So, if you follow the fashion weeks, you’ve known what’s going to be on-trend this fall/winter since February 2018. For those who don’t follow the shows, I’m going to give you the highlights of what to expect for this fall/winter fashion season (and it’s really, really good!).

OVERCOATS AND OVERSIZED Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s no question that one of the most anticipated categories of the Fall/Winter season is coats and outerwear. Designers this season are taking shapes from menswear, like the classic overcoat and top coat, and creating an oversized version for dramatic proportion. The outcome is a chic, elongated silhouette with clean lines from the classic tailored design. These overcoats for this fall are shown in dusty brights and in suiting prints like glen plaid and herringbone, featured with pops of color and bolder lines. Other coat styles that made their way down the runway were oversized downcoats and parkas. While these designs are avant-garde and straight from the fashion houses, certain elements will trickle down to department store lines in the form of prints and colors similar to those showcased.

September 2018 | 17

‘80s AND FUTURISTIC Power shapes of the ‘80s are back, yet reimaged. Leather motorcycle jackets are cropped to the natural waist and feature bold, exaggerated shoulders; when paired with skinny jeans and boots, they create the classic Y-shape from the ‘80s. Leather has a rich and heavy look to it, but is being used creatively to construct feminine pieces like midi-length pencil skirts and double-breasted peacoats.

The shows this season also had a futuristic theme, sending models down the runway in high-gloss coats, pants, and accessories. Taking classic pieces like a trench coat and creating it out of transparent PVC or a reflective metallic silver brings a modern edge to everyday styles. These highly stylized fashions will most likely show up in department stores as accessories, such as iridescent or translucent handbags and holographic clutch bags.

These are all more realistic ways to bring runway style to the everyday-woman’s closet.

FOLKLORE AND FLORALS Dresses and layers, like ponchos and sweaters, are a nod to Americana patchwork and quilting this year. The marrying of different fabrics and paisley prints to create one intricate and relaxed fabric brings a bohemian feel to this season’s fall palette. This folklore feel is also carried through by moments of crochet detail. Maxi dresses, ponchos, shawls, and open sweaters create a very layered look, showcasing all aspects of this textured theme.

Florals for fall are more delicate, with prints showing small flowers on dark backgrounds and bold bouquets grouped in clusters. Darkening these colors helps transition us into the winter months, while carrying over the fun and femininity of florals. Along with prints, appliqués and hand-painted fabrics give new life and texture to evening gowns and skirts.

18 | The Brick Magazine

FAUX SHO’ You can’t have a winter fashion show without some sort of incredible line-up of plush fur coats. The industry has taken a huge stance against animal cruelty and the use of real fur; high-end designers like Stella McCartney, Versace, Tom Ford, Armani, and several others have gone fur-free. Because of this amazing movement, these designers have developed higher-quality faux shearling and faux long-haired fabrics to maintain the lux look of fur coats. Faux-fur has really come such a long way from looking like cotton candy, and the coats shown this season are imaginative, with bold colors and patchwork. Faux shearling lines collars and cuffs of long coats, while lush faux fox is crafted into elegant shapes for evening attire.

Keep your eyes peeled in the stores this season; see what runway trends you can spot that have been recreated for the department store floor. Have fun with the bold plaids and prints of the season; try a patchwork piece or a fun faux shearling jacket. Make this winter modern with holographic clutch bags and metallic accessories. As per usual, don’t be afraid to try new trends — there’s always a way to make these new ideas your own. *All photos belong to Nordstrom.com

Angie Harrison received a BS degree in fashion merchandising from Western Michigan University, and after merchandising for a large retailer, went on to start Angela Harrison Style: a personal, print, and film wardrobe styling service. Her experience has led her to build a loyal client list of people from all backgrounds and professions. Angie has also worked in wardrobe on local and national tv commercials and has started a visual merchandising branch of AHStyle, providing styling and merchandising expertise to Michigan retailers.

September 2018 | 19

THE BOUNTY OF SEPTEMBER

by Jillian Fraioli

Photo by Elaine Casap

20 | The Brick Magazine

S

eptember is quite possibly my favorite month of the year. The weather cools off, the evenings still feel luxurious in length, the sunsets turn into a kaleidoscope, and the almost obscene garden bounty fools us into thinking winter is far, far away. Not that bounty of strawberries and delicate lettuces, but that hearty bounty that comes fast and furious out of the garden this time of year. Every Farmer’s Market, grocery store, or road-side stand overflows with abundance. Tomatoes, zucchini, early pumpkins, fat melons, and the hearty greens that have weathered the heat, along with the last of the peppers, eggplants, and late summer basil — basil so strong its smell permeates the air without you even touching it. These all play into my current meals — and, more importantly, go into my pantry and freezer, because I do know that winter is coming.

Every September, we would religiously trek to my grandparents’ house for “canning day.” Some of my earliest and most cherished memories are of hot Labor Day weekends where the cooling concrete and dirt of my grandmother’s basement kitchen were a balm, even with simmering pots on every burner. It was a blur of canning tomatoes, pickling eggplant, and preserving peppers.

Everyone had a job, and we worked like a machine to get all the garden bounty laid up for the next six or so months.

For decades, this is how my family canned: you take your tomato bounty, clean it, chop the tomatoes (no de-seeding or peeling skins off!), and simmer them with salt, garlic, and olive oil, just until boiling. Meanwhile, you wash your jars in hot water, or run them ahead of time through a hot dishwasher, and hold them on a sideboard where the kitchen was hot (or keep them in the warm dishwasher).

When the tomatoes are ready, you put a basil leaf in each jar, pour in the chopped and simmered tomatoes, and then top with one more swish of olive oil and put the lids on.

After that, we would line up all of those jars like soldiers across the three dining room-sized tables that lived in the basement (covered with those red-and-white checked tablecloths, I kid you not). Then we’d cover them with sheets or towels. I always thought of this as “tucking them in” (the towels and sheets were there in case of an explosion, which I never witnessed). I remember laying on the cool concrete listening to the lids go pop, pop, pop — one after another, sealing hot summer days inside.

I still can this way. Peaches. Strawberries. Marmalade.

Tomatoes. Never broth or meat-based items, that would be terrifying. But anything that was a fruit or vegetable. My parents did it this way all my life; even after we moved far away from my grandparents, we continued this ritual.

September 2018 | 21

Fraioli Family Canning-Day Tomato Sauce You can easily double, triple, or quadruple this recipe.

It freezes so well, I will often pick up 4-5 pounds of tomatoes at the market and freeze all of it in one- or two- cup portions. It also cans well — if you have the time and the inclination.

Photo by Vitchakorn Koonyosying

Note: those grocery-store tomatoes that are shipped from far-away places are not the ones you want here.

You can use them — but they won’t have that tomato “taste” you’re going for. Tomatoes on the vine or heirloom tomatoes work best. If you don’t have access to tomatoes like that, a can of Cento or any canned, whole, or diced Italian-imported plum tomatoes will be a better substitute.

22 | The Brick Magazine

INGREDIENTS: 2 pounds tomatoes, deseed half or more (or one 28-ounce can) 1/8-1/4 cup olive oil 1 cup of white wine 3-5 clove of garlic, minced 1/2 a white onion, diced Fresh basil Salt to taste Red or black pepper to taste Pinch of sugar (optional)

DIRECTIONS: Put olive oil into a heavy-bottomed pot and heat over medium heat.

When the oil ripples, add diced onion, reduce heat to med-low, add a pinch of salt and sweat them down until soft — about 5-7 minutes.

Add garlic. Do not let it burn, but let it cook for about a minute longer, until it releases its aroma.

Add the white wine, simmer, and reduce by about half.

Add all your tomatoes and another generous pinch of salt (up to a half a teaspoon, you can adjust later); and, if you’re like my grandmother, add a generous pinch of sugar.

Simmer the tomatoes on low for about 15-20 minutes. You will see the oil and tomatoes make a “sheen” together, and that’s when you know the flavors have melded.

Add pepper as desired, red or black.

Adjust for salt. Finish with basil. Use however you desire!

Psst! This is a “quick sauce.” You don’t really need to simmer any longer than that — it’s that fast. But you can. It’s up to you. It’s delicious even at the 10-minute mark. Sometimes we pull it off as soon as the tomatoes are heated through and the flesh is just giving way at about 5-7 minutes. Then we toss it with a cup of fresh mozzarella cubes, copious amounts of basil, and a bag of dried pasta (boiled in water as salty as the ocean!).

Make it once, use it multiple times over the week. Freeze a little for a quick defrost — toss with pasta, serve with a “what’sin-the-fridge” salad, and you have a quick weeknight dinner. Or, pick up pizza dough on the way home and whip it into a dinner of calzones or quick ‘za. I use quick sauce over polenta, over chicken, as a soup base, to top a turkey meatloaf — and, of course, with my personal favorite: penne pasta mixed with a little ricotta and parmesan, maybe with some of that grilled late-summer zucchini lazing through the cheese.

Photo by Dane Deaner

But we don’t all have that long Labor Day to do the canning, the preserving, the prepping for winter. So instead, I’ll leave you with one of my family’s favorite treats that we’d have every canning weekend: the Fraioli family quick sauce. This sauce is added to mounds of pasta to feed all the hard workers. I must admit that I’ve changed the recipe over the years. Grandma Fraioli wouldn’t have used wine or onion, but I’ve made it more to our tastes, and it’s now a household favorite. I get asked for the recipe so often, I have it memorized.

Jillian moonlights in her own kitchen as Executive Chef. She comes from a long line of at-home chefs, making Sunday sauce and homemade pasta as soon as she was knee-high with Grandma Fraioli. Jillian used to work at such illustrious restaurants such as Emeril’s Fish House in Las Vegas (where she was a Pastry Chef), and both in the front and back of the house of Serafina and Tango in Seattle. She ended her career in restaurants many lives ago, and now supports women-owned businesses, including The Brick Magazine as assistant to the publisher. You can follow along with her cats and knitting (and sometimes food), if that’s your jam, on Instagram @yarnologie.

September 2018 | 23

FINDING WHAT YOU SEEK ANN ARBOR’S KICKSHAW THEATER

By Jane Griffith

M

y brain is blank and inside I’m terrified — gut churning, head aching. I can barely sit still. I’m seeking an idea, a kernel of truth, a nugget of wisdom. My job is to lead. My job is to have the answers and the confidence.

My job is to find a way to remove the obstacles and provide the resources for my team so that they can be successful.

I love my job and I hate my job. On the love side, well, I love art, I love theater. It provides a framework for 24 | The Brick Magazine

Photo by Sean Carter

understanding the world, for understanding other people.

It is a way to reflect on what is beautiful and awful — what it is to be human. I love my team — they are hardworking and hilarious. Going over a balance sheet can be a conversation that devolves into bad puns and gut-busting laughter. Combining work with play is extraordinary; it serves our creativity and results in innovation. I love trimming a budget of fat. It’s a skill I first discovered as a new PTO President — you cannot justify an $800 folder

Every time we produce a show, I’m on the edge of my seat. Will people like it? Will it sell? I’m lucky because our artists, designers, and actors are really good. I mean, really good. If you can make me cry just by reading the play aloud at a kitchen table, with no costumes, props, or set, you are really, really good. But will people come to see it?

We never know.

Photo by Sean Carter

budget for 300 children when those things are $0.15 a piece during the back-to-school sale at Target. Consider that budget slashed.

What do I hate about my job? Well, don’t we all sometimes? I hate math. I hate financial reports. I hate when people say they wanted to come see the show, but they just never made it (PS: you would have LOVED it).

So where do I go from here? I figure it out. That’s my job. I think we all have those times when we just tap dance so long that we eventually figure out the steps. We get through each day, dodging disasters and relishing those wins.

We are all seeking those moments, those tasks, when we feel competent and valuable. I want to matter. I’m seeking a way to make an impact on the world. I suspect you might be, too. I’ve tried a lot of things. I’ve been a corporate thinker, developing strategies for change. I’ve driven through a whiteout delivering food to a school full of children. I’ve hawked auction items to grow schools and homeless shelters. I’ve played tug-of-war with a 500-pound gorilla (yep, I’m talking about an actual gorilla) over a spoon of honey. And, lately, I lead a team of superheroes who are building a world-class professional nonprofit theater right here in Ann Arbor.

I am the Executive Director of Kickshaw Theatre. I remember our inaugural show, The Electric Baby by Stefanie Zadravec, with a bit of reverence. It was an ideal example of the power of live theater. At the end of the performance, the audience would stream out in complete silence. The first night, my heart stopped for a moment. “Ugh! They hated it,” I thought, nausea rising. Then I looked closer. They weren’t just silent, most of them were crying. People loved it. It was true and raw and beautiful. It mattered.

From now until October 7 my senses will be heightened, my breathing a little faster as the adrenaline of launching a new play rushes through my body. This play, Milvotchkee, Visconsin by Laura Jacqmin, is everything. It is honest and funny and distressing and moving. It is told from the perspective of a woman living with dementia. Everything we see and hear is what she sees and hears. It will open eyes and hearts and souls. I love this play. Bringing it to the stage has taken years because it has a big cast, therefore a big budget. Raising money is hard. But we’re making it happen. It will matter. Will you see it?

Kickshaw Theater is Ann Arbor’s only 501(c)(3) professional theater which works under contract with the Actors’ Equity Association, the union of professional actors and stage managers. Kickshaw has been popping up around Ann Arbor since 2015.

Thanks to the generous support of Glacier Hills and Huron Woods Senior Living Communities and Saint Joseph Mercy Health System, Kickshaw will bring Milvotchkee, Visconsin by Laura Jacqmin to the Interfaith Center for Spiritual Growth, 704 Airport Blvd, Ann Arbor, MI 48108 Thursdays through Sundays, September 13 - October 7, 2018. Tickets and more information can be found at www. kickshawtheatre.org

Kickshaw is honored by and grateful for the following organizations for their expert insights and education, which helped to shape this production: the Alzheimer’s Association (Michigan Great Lakes Chapter), the Michigan Alzheimer’s Disease Center, Turner Senior Resource Center, Silver Club Memory Programs at the University of Michigan Geriatrics Center and Institute for Gerontology, and Ypsilanti Senior Center.

Jane Griffith is a devoted wife, doting mother, grateful friend, aspiring writer, lover of good food and wine, novice gardener, and the Executive Director of Kickshaw Theatre.

September 2018 | 25

THE

BRICK MAGAZINE

ANN ARBOR

GI F T G U I DE These are a few of our favorite things

Fashion items from $185.

Exclusively at Lewis Jewelers, 2000 W. Stadium Blvd., Ann Arbor. www.lewisjewelers.com

26 | The Brick Magazine

W HO DOESN’T LOVE A LITTLE BIT OF SPARKLE? Jewelry can be flashy and fabulous, something to make us shine when we step out at night; and yet, it’s so much more. It could be a treasured opal brooch passed down by a grandmother, a charm bracelet for a sweet sixteen, or some wedding rings created by a couple to last a lifetime together. La Jolla, meaning “The Jewel,” has been a brilliant diamond in Chelsea for 24 years. Gloria, the owner and artisan, has been crafting jewelry for more than 50 years. Curtis, her son, has carried on her legacy and has been a certified master jeweler for decades, repairing and refurbishing heirloom jewelry using a microscopic level and creating any and all one-of-a-kind custom pieces that his customers can dream of.

Two of my favorite gifts to give are sure to please anyone on your giving list.

–Toni Morell, owner of Zingerman’s Mail Order ZINGERMAN’S CREAMERY GELATO

ZINGERMAN’S ARTISAN GIFT BOX

Zingerman’s Creamery crafts small batches of gelato using milk from down the road at Calder Dairy — one of the last farmstead dairies in Michigan—plus organic Demerera sugar and a host of crazy good flavors, like salted caramel with locally stone-ground chocolate chunks, classic Sour Cream Coffee Cake, and Michigan raspberry sorbet. Choose your own collection of five, intense flavors, or pair six flavors of your choice with toppings for the ultimate gelato sundae party.

If you can’t visit our store in Ann Arbor, this might be the best way to taste the food long-distance.

Crusty, hearth-baked bread and rich pastries from our Bakehouse, freshly roasted coffee, hand-ladled cheeses, and old-fashioned, handmade candy offer a taste of the full Zingerman’s spectrum.

September 2018 | 27

SKIP SICKNESS THIS SCHOOL YEAR

by Lisa Profera MD

28 | The Brick Magazine

I

f you think that getting sick 3-4 times a year is normal, think again. Another school year is upon us, and as you may have experienced in the past, kids start getting sick around mid-September. As the weather changes, germs circulate in the classroom.

Teachers and students get sick, and they bring it home to the entire household.

Seems inevitable, right? Wrong.

Why wait until you or your child gets sick?

Be proactive this year! Boost health and immunity now with probiotics and highquality essential oils, and reduce the risk of contracting diseases when out in public with proper hand-sanitizing practices.

We all know the importance of self-care, proper nutrition, adequate sleep, and stress reduction. Sometimes our immune system can use a little boost with high-quality bioavailable supplements and probiotics.

You can choose store-bought products, but many of the things you will find on the shelf may not be as effective as their labels claim. Some vitamin and mineral complexes are just not very easy to absorb. Many probiotics may contain dead bacteria due to improper packaging and storage.

We know that 70% of our immune system lies in our gut. The optimal balance of good bacteria in the GI tract varies with age. Research on the gut microbiome has shown that different strains of bacteria are important for optimal gut health at different stages of life. Babies, children, adults, and the elderly should have different types and strains of bacteria in their system. Effective probiotics should either be refrigerated or doubleencapsulated to ensure the delivery and survival of beneficial bacteria past the September 2018 | 29

stomach acid as it is delivered to the small intestines (where it is most beneficial). A product that also includes a prebiotic is even better, since this is the “food” that the good bacteria like to eat.

Proactive disease prevention can be taken one step further with the right essential oils. Some essential oils are produced by plants to protect them from invaders such as bacteria, viruses, fungi, and molds.

The antimicrobial power of oils such as cinnamon, clove, frankincense, myrrh, melaleuca, and oregano are well known. Way before the pharmaceutical industry took hold, plants had been used as medicine for centuries. This is still the case in many parts of the world. We know that melaleuca can dissolve the sticky protective coating around microbes

Photo by Annie Spratt

30 | The Brick Magazine

known as the biofilm. The carvacrol in oregano can then bind to the protective peptidoglycans on the surface of bacteria, which produces a hole in the wall, causing the microbe to lyse and die. Harvard- and MITtrained physician Dr. Dave Steuer illustrates this well in the video* “Dr Dave R Steuer on Killing Bacteria with Essential Oils.”

I am not aware of any prescription medicine that has the ability to combat all kinds of bacteria, viruses, fungi, and yeast. I have been amazed at the many benefits of high-quality CPTG® essential oils for preventative medicine as well as treatment of acute and chronic infectious issues.

Research in this field is exploding, and the double-blind, placebo-controlled studies are being done in partnership with many prestigious medical

institutions. In fact, essential oils may be the new antibiotics** as we face the ever-increasing threat of bacteria that have developed resistance to all conventional antibiotics. When I first heard Johns Hopkins researcher Dr. Nicole Parrish speak about using essential oils to kill superbugs at the doTERRA Global Convention in 2016, I knew that this was something that I should look into.

We all know that covering a cough and good handwashing helps prevent illness. 80% of disease is contracted by contact with hands. Touching things that other people touch (like gas pump handles, objects in stores, and other fomites) is sometimes unavoidable. Proper handwashing or use of a good hand sanitizer can help stop the spread of disease. We have an excellent weapon to help

Photo by Christin Hume

Now I have more tools in my “medical toolbox” and I can help more people stay healthier in a safe and natural way. As a traditionally-trained physician and a doTERRA Wellness Advocate, I am happy to be able to offer better options for my patients by combining the best of both worlds.

Let me know how I can help you and your family have a healthier school year. Choose the path to less-frequent illness, or skip sickness altogether! *YouTube link: https://www.youtube.com/watc h?v=28igkFxGUbM&list=PLcJ10NW0kDBtAUs YHlogsbGeCuvW-p4Kq&t=13s&index=2

combat germs called doTERRA OnGuard Hand Sanitizer. This product contains powerful antimicrobial oils such as clove, cinnamon, rosemary, eucalyptus, and wild orange. It has been proven in clinical trials to kill 99.9% of bacteria, including those found in a hospital setting. Even after seven days, surfaces sprayed with OnGuard were culture-negative for any pathogens. This fall, doTERRA OnGuard (Protective Blend) oil and products are definitely a musthave. Daily use of OnGuard soft gels or beadlets (safe for ingestion) is a great preventative measure, especially throughout the school year. Diffusing OnGuard in the home and in the classroom can provide additional protection.

How many times have you gone to the doctor and have been told that you’ve got a virus and you’ll just have to wait it out? As a physician, I have said this to patients numerous times in my 26-year career. Both doctor and patient may feel helpless; the best that we can do is manage the symptoms. Ever had a bad stomach flu? It’s pretty miserable for a parent

to experience, and it’s even harder for a parent to watch a child suffer.

Essential oils may be helpful. For example, ginger is great for stomach upset and nausea. Carvacrol and thymol (found in oregano and thyme) are anti-viral.*** As I have stated in previous articles (see May issue of BRICK), not all brands of essential oils are safe for internal use. If it doesn’t have a Supplements Facts label on it (required for all packaged foods since 1990), do not ingest it. Some oils like oregano, cinnamon, and clove are “too hot” to drop directly into the mouth and are best diluted, taken in a veggie cap, or taken in softgel form. There are certain combinations of oils that can help a variety of conditions. Taking quick action at the first sign of illness, as advised by an experienced essential oils practitioner, can be quite effective.

In this circumstance, having the right ingredients readily available is key.

There are certain oils that I will always have on hand, some for prevention and some for treatment. I am happy to guide people toward natural solutions for better health.

**Journal of Infectious Diseases and Preventative Medicine, “Essential Oils and Future Antibiotics: New Weapons against Emerging ‘Superbugs’?: https://www. omicsonline.org/open-access/essential-oilsand-future-antibiotics-new-weapons-againstemerging-superbugs-2329-8731.1000105. php?aid=14230 *** Here is a good study on PubMed on the action of carvacrol on Norovirus: https://www. ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/24779581

Lisa Profera MD Owner and Founder of PROJUVU MD Aesthetics and Lifestyle Medicine Please note that the information in this article has been designed to help educate the reader regarding the subject matter covered. This information is provided with the understanding that the author and any other entity referenced here are not liable for the misconception or misuse of the information provided. It is not provided to diagnose, prescribe, or treat any disease, illness, or injured condition of the body. The provider of this information shall have neither liability nor responsibility to any person or entity concerning any loss, damage, or injury caused or alleged to be caused directly or indirectly by this information.

The information presented is in no way intended as a substitute for medical counseling or care. Anyone suffering from any disease, illness, or injury should consult a qualified healthcare professional.

These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA.

September 2018 | 31

BOO K REVIEW

HOW TO PROCESS LOW-HANGING FRUIT Review by Bernadette Quist

HARD CIDER

by Barbara Stark-Nemon

F

or those who have traveled the road from Ann Arbor north to brilliant Lake Michigan, it seems impossible to describe the feelings one gets when taking in the beauty and wonder of it all. Barbara Stark-Nemon does this elegantly throughout Hard Cider; yet for tactile, visual people (like me), pretty words alone aren’t enough. Add a story with plots and sub-plots woven into these places that I know so well, and you’ve 32 | The Brick Magazine

got Hard Cider. This book pulled me in like a magnet and kept me in don’twant-to-put-it-down mode until the last page.

Abbie Rose Stone is a woman pursuing a dream previously deferred by marriage, family, practical priorities, and assorted complications.

Now, with the kids on their own, a passion for making things, and a gnawing desire to turn apples into hard cider, Abbie is determined.

She moves through trial and error, family skepticism, and personal doubt to inch closer to personal and professional alchemy.

It is not an easy path, however. With relationship struggles, new connections, Photo by and a life-changing Chris Loomis bombshell hanging in Photography the background, Stone “weaves a sensory net” around seemingly loose ends to graceful resolution and imagined new chapters that lay beyond the final sentence.

Narrated in the first person by 50-something Abbie Rose, the story opens in the past with her Ann Arbor home up in flames — as if enduring “six years of agonizing infertility treatments, in-vitro fertilizations, and adoption

proceedings” weren’t enough. Here she was finally holding her own nine-week-old after thirty-six hours of labor and a C-section, and the house was up in flames. All that, and it was only the prologue. Abbie Rose didn’t cry. She had work to do.

The book really begins twenty years later. Abbie is determined to finally do something she has always been drawn to. Women of all ages will relate, but those of us who have raised families while trying to contribute to the family financially will really be inspired to keep reaching for those longings that won’t let you go. If Abbie Rose can do it, even in the midst of lifechanging family discoveries, then maybe you can, too.

There is only one unresolved thing in the book that I kept thinking would be uncovered in the final pages.

Who set the fire in the beginning of the book? How did it start? That remains a mystery unsolved, but it is a small glitch in an otherwise compelling read.

Bernadette Quist is a book lover on several levels. Having been a book printer for the past 20 years, she now works with Adair Graphic Communications in Dexter, MI. She is also an avid reader, listener, and occasional reviewer of select titles. She has also been writing songs and singing them since she was a kid. Like Abbie Rose, the main character in Hard Cider, Bernadete is about to become an emptynester herself. She will be pursuing her own dream deferred — writing, playing, and recording music in addition to helping authors and publishers print and promote their own books and magazines. For more information or to request a price quote, please email her at bquist@adairgraphic.com.

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September 2018 | 33

HOW TIME OUTSIDE WILL HELP INCREASE LEARNING

34 | The Brick Magazine

by Virginia Yurich

P

eople say that nothing beats a Michigan summer, but it is also true that nothing beats a Michigan fall. As beach time and camping slip into hoodies and apple orchards, we physically feel the change of the seasons in Michigan. With the purchase of new backpacks and colored pencils, there is anticipation for change and new experiences.

The start of a school year is such an exciting time that we can easily forget that there are many things that contribute to learning beyond pen and pencil. There is more and more research confirming that the brain and the body are intricately related, and that movement can actually increase the capacity of the brain. As we slide into the routines of fall, we can still impact our children’s development by continuing to prioritize experiences in nature. The fall is the perfect time to schedule outdoor hikes, playtime, and observation.

Photo by Virginia Yurich

Fall hikes in Michigan are full of wonder. I love that quote, “My favorite color is October.”

In the metro-Detroit area, there are many opportunities for shorter hikes with children.

We use Google Maps as well as city and county websites to find good hiking options. A one- or two-mile hike with children during the peak color season will be awe-inspiring for the entire family. Hiking aids in learning; increasingly challenging movements, such as hiking over rocky terrain, develop the brain.

Learning is not just a process of the brain, but of the entire body. Think of the sensory input a child would receive during a fall hike in Michigan. There would be a vast array of colors, sounds, and smells from the crunch of the leaves to the brilliance of reds and oranges contrasted against the blue sky. All of these sensations are foundations for knowledge.

September 2018 | 35

Photo by Virginia Yurich

Playing outside in Michigan is so much fun in the fall. The weather is often perfect and kids can play for hours without overheated or getting too cold. Play is one of those overlooked elements of childhood that also greatly aids the learning process. Free time in nature where kids can imagine and create, alone or with friends, will offer many learning and brain growth benefits. Kids learn an immense amount when they have time to draw from their inner resources to engage with others and with the world around them.

Photo by Virginia Yurich

36 | The Brick Magazine

Fall is a perfect time to observe and learn about the many wonders of nature. As we watch the leaves change

into fiery colors before eventually falling to the ground and turning brown, we can talk and read about photosynthesis.

As we watch the birds fly south, we can delve into wonderful books about migration and migratory patterns.

There are a vast array of beautiful books where we can read about where insects and amphibians go during the cold months and how certain mammals prepare for hibernation.

One of my favorite things to learn about in the fall is apples. I was floored to learn that there are over 7,500 varieties of apples. We love to take our kids to the different apple orchards in the area. Week after week, the types of apples that are ripe will change and

we get to see and taste the variation, from Braeburns to Galas to Ginger Golds and beyond. Some are great for eating, some are great for applesauce, and others are great for pies. The simple apple harvest provides endless learning opportunities. You can compare and contrast different varieties, work with fractions by doubling or tripling pie recipes, or make graphs charting the number of apple seeds.

Fall tends to be a busy season.

Back-to-school activities and extracurriculars often leave families with little down time. Nature can’t advertise itself, so here is a reminder that family time outside offers

immeasurable benefits to your child.

Take advantage of our beautiful Michigan fall and make sure to pencil in some hikes, a few apple orchard excursions, and some empty spaces in your calendar just to play!

Ginny Yurich is a local Michigan mother of five. Through her blog 1000 Hours Outside, she is challenging parents around the world to consider matching outside time with the amount of time kids spend in front of screens. In America, that is currently around 1,200 hours a year.

Visit her blog at www.1000hoursoutside.com. www.facebookcom/1000hoursoutside/ 1000hoursoutside@gmail.com #1000hoursoutside

September 2018 | 37

INSTEAD OF HEADING DEEPER DOWN THE DOUBT PATHâ&#x20AC;¦

by Maria Sylvester, MSW, CPC

Photo by Linas Bam

38 | The Brick Magazine

September 2018 | 39

C

ooler September breezes are upon us, reminding us that we are heading toward a transition. The close of summer and the beginning of fall is just one of a myriad of transitions we experience in a lifetime. Transitions are a common theme in my life-coaching practice, as many clients seek support when faced with a transition point in their life. There are multiple reasons why a person might seek help when transitioning from one aspect or area of their life to another, but I believe it is the experience of uncertainty that these times call forth that especially drives clients my way.

What is it about the feeling of uncertainty that haunts us and can feel so daunting? One element is that we, as human beings, love familiarity.

Being familiar with something is comforting, cozy, and confidenceaffirming. We know what’s what and that is so satisfying! We love and seek certainty for just this reason.

To step from the familiar into a new landscape can be terrifying!

Life transitions force us to sit with uncertainty and all the feelings of insecurity or anxiety it can bring.

One can’t know ahead of time, or exactly predict, how a change will pan out. Whether you’re moving from one job to another, or ending a relationship, or navigating a new degree-to-career path, you won’t (at least not at first) know exactly how the new opportunity will feel or how it will unfold. The question you will be faced with is whether the effects of the change are desirable or not.

Photo by Luis Chacon

40 | The Brick Magazine

And something funny, but common often happens next. When you can’t

Photo by Ben Rosett predict an outcome, you begin to doubt yourself. Uncertainty fuels selfdoubt. So true, yes? Clients come to me for support during life transitions because as they sit with uncertainty, they doubt themselves and their ability to create the transformation they want. Things feel very much out of their control.

So, here is where I introduce a magic bullet: I remind my coaching clients that they still have all their strengths, inner resources, skills, and abilities under their control at a time of change. They can easily

bring these to the table to help them successfully navigate whatever uncertainties come. What a gift it is, to know that you can face uncertainty not by going deeper down the doubt path, but rather by harnessing your strengths, emotional savvy, and inner resources. So banish all doubts! Try instead to embrace the idea of what you do have control over, namely your deep inner wisdom, the next time you head into a life transition.

Watch your anxiety decrease, and your excitement increase, for whatever is to come!

Maria Sylvester, MSW, CPC is a certified Life Coach in Ann Arbor, MI who loves empowering adolescents, adults, and couples to live from the HEART of what really matters to them so that they can bring their fully expressed, vibrant selves into the world. She has a special gift for helping women reclaim their feminine power, and embrace their radiant, sensual, sexy spirits. Their lives transform.

They soar into their mid-life magnificence!

LifeEmpowermentCoaching.com Complimentary First Session 734.717.7532

September 2018 | 41

MEMORIES IN MY BUTTON JAR

By Marilyn Pellini

42 | The Brick Magazine

L

ike all young brides, I could hardly wait to start accumulating the necessities of married life. I registered for china, silver, and crystal, bought all new furnishings for my adorable first apartment, and even gathered together the usual bridal trousseau. In those days, I was eager to collect anything that would later be shared memories with my new husband. I would search for little mementos from places we visited, knowing these were sure to find the perfect shelf or table on which they could be displayed.

When we finally began married life together, I saved everything. I used old jelly jars as extra glasses, and reused plastic containers from the supermarket. I was stymied, however, when presented with my first large-size mayonnaise jar. I washed it sparkling clean, and it sat on the shelf above my sink. A few days later, I was sorting through some old blouses. I decided that they were not even recyclable, but the buttons were the type used on men’s shirts. Surely one day my husband would need a button sewed on. Thus was born my button jar — my tall, clear jar with the perfect screw-on cap.

The jar filled slowly at first. We were young and poor and had to wear clothes a very long time. When our children arrived and we became a little family, my collection mounted rapidly. The kids would soil a shirt beyond salvaging or tear a hole in the knees of their overalls, so there was always a special new bunch of buttons to dump into the jar.

One day, my Mom arrived at the door with a clear plastic bag filled with buttons. She said she was cleaning out and thought I could use some buttons for repairs to the kid’s clothes. I put the bag into the hall closet until I could get to it, and promptly forgot about it. On a rainy day a few months later, I decided to do some spring cleaning and discovered the bag of buttons. Needless to say, the cleaning was put on hold while I poured over these buttons, many of them from my childhood.

First, I came across buttons that looked like they had come from old-fashioned baby clothes, and I wondered if perhaps my grandmother had given her old buttons to my mother. This could become a tradition I thought, and was secretly glad that I now had a baby girl of my own.

Next, I found buttons to my old girl scout uniform, a winter

jacket I had long forgotten about, and buttons that had even been the eyes on my first teddy bear. There were buttons from my Dad’s old naval uniforms that Mom had used to anchor flags on my brother’s bedspread when his bedroom was decorated in all red, white, and blue. A myriad of tiny, white, satin-covered buttons were in a thin clasped envelope. I guessed those buttons probably went down the back of my mother’s wedding dress.

Memories abounded as I went through her collection of buttons, and so did my tears. I couldn’t believe the vivid pictures that returned with the buttons spread before me. Now I am the age my mother was when she placed her treasured buttons in my hands. It is time to pass the whole collection on to the next generation. Just as you spend your early years accumulating possessions, you spend your later years getting rid of them. One is tired of polishing the silver pieces that sit in the china closet unused, and even the button jar is rarely opened. I can’t see all that well to sew any longer. It is time to pass along the beloved jar and its contents.

My only dilemma now is, do I split the buttons between my daughter and daughter-in-law? Will they appreciate and revere the buttons as I do? And, most importantly, will they ever use them? I’m not sure either of them even knows how to sew; everything goes to the dressmaker.

What to do with the buttons will now be their chore and challenge. I just hope they will appreciate the memories behind them as much as I do.

Marilyn Pellini is the author of a new book, Dear Al, A Widow’s Struggles and Remembrances. She has also had pieces in the magazines Bay State Parent, Westchester Parent, and On The Water. This year, she took first place in a writing contest sponsored

by The N.Y. State Federation of Women’s Clubs.

She is a native of Providence, R.I. and attended the University of Rhode Island. She currently lives in Katonah, N.Y.

September 2018 | 43

WOMAN ON THE STREET

COMING HOME FROM THE COFFEE SHOP

by Stephanie Saline

Photo by Alexis Chloe

44 | The Brick Magazine

W

alking home from the coffee shop last week, three of my neighbors were chatting conspiratorially on the strip of grass between the sidewalk and the street at the house next door. I asked them if they were plotting the revolution, and one of them asked me where I’d come from.

And that’s when I realized that I wasn’t just having a conversation with my neighbors, I was also telegraphing that I wasn’t one of them. I’d already sensed this on some level, or I would have told them that the coffee shop reminded me of the cafés in Prague. But I didn’t. Because that just sounds pretentious.

I told them about the new coffee shop that opened less than half a mile from our houses. It’s the kind of place that posts where they get their coffee beans. The kind of place that has sidewalk seating and Parisian-style chairs. The kind of place that has fabulous wallpaper in the bathroom.

And yes, it’s also the kind of place that charges five bucks for a cup of coffee.

How do you hold up your end of a conversation when many of your stories make you sound like a snoot?

But if I want a good cup of coffee — one that tastes so good, you consider each sip — this is where I go.

And there it was. But once it was out in the open, a funny thing happened.

On this particular day, the coffee shop had the most incredible puff pastry squares, lined with almond paste, topped with blueberries and a tiny elderflower.

It would have been a crime not to order one. So I sat at a sidewalk table in a Rust Belt town, eating blueberry pastry. After each bite, I moaned a little bit, pained by its goodness.

We found common ground. Tom copped to liking Folgers. I admitted I’m a fiend for gas station coffee on road trips. They asked what kind of beer I like (IPA).

Wayne owned up to the fact that his favorite beer comes in packs of twelve.

I told my neighbors all of this. It would be a crime to keep this information to myself. Also, I added, they’re open at night and have a full bar. Charcuterie platters. Olive bowls.

Cans of cider and small batch beer.

I’d worked myself into such a lather over the description, I lost track of my audience. I like my neighbors, but I am different from them in fundamental ways. I didn’t grow up here. I’ve travelled all over the world. I’ve lived all over the U.S., and in Asia and Europe.

“I’m such a snob,” I said.

Without missing a beat, Wayne replied, “Oh, we knew you were a snob since before you moved in.”

Later that week, Tom and Wayne invited me over for a tour of the daylilies in their backyard. Our across-thestreet neighbor Tim was already there, beer in hand.

Upon my arrival, Tom offered me a beer, holding out two bottles from a great small brewery in Michigan.

After the tour was done — and the four of us had a good laugh about the small army of concrete garden gnomes assembling in the garden at dusk — we retreated to Tom and Wayne’s front porch.

As Wayne lit candles and we settled into conversation, I noticed that he and Tom were drinking the bland-yetinexplicably-beloved Canadian beer.

In contrast, the regional foods of Buffalo, New York include things like chicken wings, beef sandwiches, and a Canadian beer that doesn’t have much flavor.

I sipped my small batch Porter and grinned.

My neighbors have told me stories of barhopping and pizza. Our city seems to be known for large festivals of public inebriation. When I mentioned the coffee shop serving drinks at night, one my neighbors mentioned he liked to put Baileys in coffee — something I would never do.

A teacher and advertising writer based in Buffalo, Stephanie Saline spent one decade on adventures in Japan, Seattle, and Montana, and another decade building a popular copywriting business.

She now leads writing workshops where women become the hero in the story of their own lives.

“We live in a world where we are all heroes now – and that’s a great thing.” Find out more about her work at www.stellaorange.com.

September 2018 | 45

BACK TO SCHOOL

by Randi Rubenstein

Personally, I have a love-hate relationship with back-to-school season.

Like you, summer has always been my busiest mama time due to the wide-open days without school.

I’m on summer number 20 as a mom. That’s right. Two. Zero. And at this point, I’ve got a pretty good handle on summer structure combined with summer chill time. I’ve learned that it’s truly a balancing act. Unfortunately, it took many summers to figure out the ratio that works best for me and my family.

There were many summers early on when I over-ambitiously UNDER-planned.

46 | The Brick Magazine

September 2018 | 47

I had this dream of care-free days sprinkled with fun spontaneous day trips. Of course, this vision was really about making glorious memories laughing and splashing in the water with my little people. Photo albums would be FILLED with fun experiences that the kids would enjoy looking back on years later.

We did lots of day trips and long extended stays at the beach when my kids were little. Most of these “excursions” were a solo mission for me as a stay-at-home mom. Daddy was busy bringing home the bacon, and frankly, he thought the whole thing sounded pretty exhausting and terrible anyway.

Now don’t get me wrong, my husband loved the idea of “Camp Mom,” but as a glass-is-half-empty person (i.e., a super realist), he knew those memory-making moments

would be filled with whining, sibling fighting, crankiness, exhaustion, and TONS of annoying little kid behavior.

I hate to admit that he was right, but…

I was frankly too freaking tired to capture many of those memorable pics. And the ones snapped are still waiting to be printed and organized in a photo album twenty years later.

Because the truth is, I hate doing cutesy crap like creating scrapbooks.

So after several years of chasing that best-summer-ever dream and feeling a steady wave of disappointment, I eventually faced reality and embraced structure.

I signed the kids up for camps. Lots of them. At first there were day camps, and then came the biggest gift a mom could ask for — a month

away at sleep-away camp!

When you find the right sleep-away camp, your kids are occupied, safe, and having experiences that you absolutely cannot give them at home.

It’s the best thing ever. I mean like, E-V-E-R! So once I figured out our ideal summer balance involving structure and flexibility, it really became my favorite season as a mom.

However, seasons exist for a reason.

Too much of the same makes for a pretty bland existence. Life is all about contrast. You gotta experience hunger to fully enjoy a satisfying meal, or being cold to really appreciate the coziness of your warm bed. And sometimes you gotta be busy during the school year to fully appreciate the relaxed flexibility during summer.

I understand this logically, and yet I still resist the transition from summer relaxation to back-to-school busy-ness.

It’s all early mornings, homework, extracurricular activities, dinner, earlier bedtimes.

Back-to-school is one of those busy times of year. AND as I figured out during my Camp Mom days, figuring out the balance for your current season is key.

48 | The Brick Magazine

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What will your back-to-school balance be? As much as my inner rebel resists, I have to admit that mine involves some preparation and planning.

A bedtime and morning plan is a great place to start. Say absolutely NO to martyr motherhood and delegate like a mo-fo.

This means we speak to our people about their morning responsibilities ahead of time: •

Supply every child with their own alarm clock — and yes, you will be reminding them each night for at least the first 30 days to set it (using a firm and loving pack leadership voice without threats, nagging, or guilt)

•

Establish routines and expectations by having a productive convo (again without threats, nagging, or guilt)

your time is completely your own to work, exercise, have coffee with a friend, or whatever happens to float your boat.

•

Prioritize sleep over tech and insist that screens are shut down at least an hour before bedtime. All devices are put to bed outside of their bedrooms.

This is a non-negotiable that you communicate with that same direct pack leadership voice and energy.

School is a beautiful invention for the most part. Frankly, I really do sort of love more than hate back-to-school season.

You can find BALANCE when it comes to back-to-school busy-ness by having a realistic plan, resisting the urge to nag or do everything yourself, and embracing the new season upon you. Remind yourself of the perks of an 8-hour school day; your kids are being supervised while

Randi helps parents, particularly ones with a strong-willed kiddo, learn tools to raise confident, kind, and self-motivated kids by improving the conversations in your family.

As the founder of Mastermind Parenting, host of the Mastermind Parenting podcast, and author of The Parent Gap, Randi helps parents keep cool and replace old patterns. Randi’s parenting motto is: “When our thoughts grow, the convos in our home low.” To learn more, go to www.randirubenstein.com

September 2018 | 49

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Enjoy a Complimentary First Session as a gift to yourself in this New Year!

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