September 2019 The Brick Magazine Ann Arbor

BRICK

THE

SEPTEMBER 2019

MAGAZINE

ANN ARBOR

MAKE IT HAPPEN: HOW TO CHOOSE A SIMPLER LIFE WHAT ARE YOU MADE OF? THE POWER OF PURPOSE

PLUS! O’ZAPFT IS! IT’S LEDERHOSEN SEASON

Sarah

Harbaugh

MARRIED TO MICHIGAN

R E F L E C T YO U R L I F E ST Y L E .

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THE

BRICK MAGAZINE

CONTENTS

SEPTEMBER 2019

Publisher • Sarah Whitsett

Assistant to the Publisher • Tanja MacKenzie

Art Director • Jennifer Knutson

Copy Editor • Angelina Bielby

Marketing Director • Steve DeBruler

Online Creative • Bridget Baker

Cover Photographer • G. E. Anderson, Maize House

Cover Makeup • Juna T

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Contributors >>

Bridget Baker Alison Corey Liz Crowe Morella Devost

Kristen Domingue Tiffany Edison Madeleine Forbes Kierra Gray Charlotte Kaye

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Kellie Mox Lisa Profera Stephanie Saline Maria Sylvester

Contact Us >>

The Brick Magazine, LLC 734.221.5767 Email: office@thebrickmagazine.com Visit us on the web at thebrickmagazine.com

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Advertising Inquires >> email office@thebrickmagazine.com or call 734.221.5767

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Find Us ... >>

Visit us on the web at thebrickmagazine.com to view our online digital edition, locations on where to find us, or subscribe to have THE BRICK MAGAZINE delivered directly to your home.

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The Brick Magazine >>

THE BRICK MAGAZINE makes every effort to provide accurate information in advertising, editorial content and placement; however, we cannot make any claims as to the accuracy of information provided by advertisers or editorial contributors and will accept no responsibility or liability for inaccurate information or placement. No content can be duplicated without the permission of The Brick Magazine, LLC 6 | The Brick Magazine

8

Make it Happen: How to Choose a Simpler Life

10

Married to Michigan: Quality Time with Sarah Harbaugh

16

What Are You Made Of?

20

For Personal & Planetary Thriving: The Miracle Worker Inside Every Human

24

Two Blissed-Out Babes!

The Joy of Mother-Daughter Travel

28

Booze 101 with Liz: O’zapft Is! It’s Lederhosen Season

32

An Apple a Day...

36

6 Ways to Take Control of Your Life

40

It Just So Happens

42

Letting Go of the Days

46

Woman On the Street The Story System

48

The Power of Purpose

Make it Happen: How to Choose a Simpler Life

by Bridget Baker Photo by Bridget Baker

T

hey say “life is what happens while you’re making other plans,” but what if you could choose to live more simply, in a way that makes you more flexible and adaptable?

What if you could make your life happen and then make new choices in each moment, when life “happens” to you?

If something falls apart in your life, do you have the room to be flexible around it? Is your life and calendar scheduled to the hour, or does it allow room for weather, for illness, or for the unthinkable? If you could cut out the distractions and the noise in your life, what could you be more present to?

Ten years ago, I decided I wanted a simpler life. This led

8 | The Brick Magazine

me to reading everything I could find on minimalism and minimalist living. I knew I wanted to build a business where I wasn’t working in an office nine-to-five and had the flexibility to travel, or to take a Monday off to go hiking if I wanted to. Delving into simple living impacted every facet of my life, and I started filling my calendar only with what was important to me so I could focus on what I loved.

A little over four years ago, this lifestyle was tested. I was mundanely scrolling through my Facebook feed, as I did most evenings. I came upon a post asking what had happened to a close friend of mine of ten years. After digging deeper, I found out that this friend had been killed

in an accident on his scooter almost instantaneously. He was only 42 years old. I was in complete shock; I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me, and everything went black. I could hardly communicate to my husband what had happened because I couldn’t believe it was real.

This friend had been troubled—to put it mildly—most of the time I had known him. He was highly intuitive and had been abused as a child, so I supported him as he faced his inner demons and struggled through life. I had been on the other end of phone calls where he wanted to end his life more than once, so people naturally thought this may have been what had happened.

The thing was, he was at the peak of his life and his career at the time he was killed. A struggling screenwriter and director, he had finally gotten a big break that would lead him off of crashing on people’s couches and into the career of his dreams. Just two weeks before the accident, I had helped him with a loan to pay his rent. Since we were more like chosen family than friends, it was actually good news that I hadn’t heard much from him recently. I knew that meant he was doing well.

Throughout our history, we had the most supportive and also the most tumultuous relationship I’ve ever had.

He was very straight with me, and when he didn’t agree with or like something I was saying or doing, he had no trouble telling me, with no filter. I both loved and loathed this quality in him. I knew he always had my back, and sometimes it upset me when he disagreed because I knew he was right. He was not an “easy” person to love, and had tried to push me away many times. He didn’t have faith that people would stick around, but he finally got that I was one of those people that would be there in his life, no matter what. I was.

Shortly after the initial shock wore off, I started to process what had happened. As it trended on Facebook and even in the news, I realized there was a whole community of friends and people around him who were outside of the circle I knew him in. Some of his community created a memorial for him on the beach just the day after his organs were harvested and his body cremated. It felt too soon. I wanted more space to grieve and process on my own before I greeted a large group of people, some of whom I didn’t know.

Time stopped for me. For several days, I went to bed crying and awoke the next morning crying again. Just

when I didn’t think I had any more tears left, a friend would reach out and we’d cry together.

I had such mixed feelings processing his death as I finally got the space to realize how well he was doing in his life, and also the room to be angry at him for the first time. My life had turned into a 24/7 grief fest for at least a week.

As I started to move through my emotions, from sadness, to anger, to laughter and good memories, I noticed the beauty of reconnecting with friends. I was fully present to the way this death brought so many people back into my life who I had just assumed were okay or too busy to connect with. I made the time to chat with them and vice versa, and I was filled with so much gratitude. Fully aware that life can literally end in an instant, my focus on what was truly important came to the forefront. I wanted to live every moment as fully as I could.

What I learned from this was that if I hadn’t had my life so simplified and flexible, I wouldn’t have had room to let things fall apart. Without discovering minimalism and choosing to live more simply, I wouldn’t have created a lifestyle with the breathing room to go with the flow and be fully present to what was happening. I was amazed that I had built a business that wouldn’t completely go to ruin if I had to take a few unexpected days off. I could still manage things and send out emails, and I knew that chaos wouldn’t reign if I didn’t check my inbox for two days.

Living a minimalist lifestyle is about so much more than decluttering or only keeping what brings you value or “joy” in your life. When you do away with unnecessary obligations, commitments, and keep your calendar simplified, you literally create space for life to happen.

Living in Los Angeles, I noticed that many people around me were living very “busy” lives. I chose to do away with busy, to allow room for the beautiful and unexpected to happen, and for me to be fully present to it.

Bridget Baker is a branding consultant, website designer, minimalist, digital nomad, and adventurer. For 10 years, she’s supported small business owners in branding, designing, writing, simplifying, and integrating their websites so that they can do what they love and have more fun in the process. She also lives full-time in a travel trailer with her husband and little dog, writing and speaking about minimalism, decluttering, and living simply. Find her at : bridgetbakermojo.com; travellightlife.com

September 2019 | 9

Married to Michigan: Quality Time with Sarah Harbaugh

by Kristen Domingue

I

t’s not every day that we have the chance to peek behind the curtain at the life of someone who is so well-known. As one of our most requested interviews at The Brick, we were excited to land time with Sarah Harbaugh. Sarah is married to former NFL player Jim Harbaugh, now coach of the University of Michigan Wolverines.

We found it unsurprising that she’s as down-to-earth as so many of our readers are. Her willingness to let us see what it’s really like to be in the spotlight is a great reminder that behind the enormity of celebrity, very real, very human hearts live full lives with humble dreams, much the same as our own.

10 | The Brick Magazine

On arriving in Michigan We love it here. We thought coming from California would be hard; everyone thought it would be hard for me in particular. But I‘m from Kansas City, so I’m used to Midwestern people and Midwestern weather. I was excited to get back—especially when I saw how much people wanted Jim here. Jim had told me throughout the years how great Michigan was. He had such a great childhood in Ann Arbor and loved his time here as a college student. He often referred to Michigan as “the land of milk and honey.” I never quite understood that until moving here.

We also felt very fortunate to have a job and this great opportunity to coach Michigan football. Most coaches don’t have another job to jump right in to when they are let go. We’re really thankful for this; Michigan welcomed us with open arms. One of my favorite memories was seeing the billboards and signs with “Welcome home, Coach!” when we arrived.

That was very heartwarming to us.

In my life, I’ve experienced how changeable circumstances can be, how what you have today may not be what you have tomorrow, and this plays a big role in how I raise my kids and how I am with people in general.

For example, each time I feel like I’m settling somewhere and I make friends, we end up needing to move. This is why a lot of people don’t know much about me. I try to stay as behind the scenes as I can. While I know it’s not realistic, a part of me believes that if I keep a wall up and stay as much to myself as I can, I won’t get hurt by our next transition. This is not a good thing, and I hope to change that mindset someday.

Photo by G. E. Anderson, Maize House Makeup by Juna T

The other reason I keep a low public profile is so I can stay focused on raising great human beings. We have seven kids—our four kids at home and three from Jim’s previous marriage.

Our lives are very, very full from a family perspective.

September 2019 | 11

Being the eleventh of eleven children and losing my “twin” For the longest time, I hated being the youngest. I wanted to be an only child because my friends who were only children got their own clothes, their own attention, etc.

I never had the chance to make a decision when I was younger. No one ever asked me what I wanted to do in a day, what I wanted for dinner, what movie I wanted to see. I just had to follow. I spent my whole childhood following other people. This is why I find it hard as an adult to have a leadership role. However, as a mother, I had no choice. I had to be in charge. That took a long time getting used to for me. It also took me awhile to figure out why I was the way I was, why I had no control. I still look back and recognize that we really had it good as kids.

While we didn’t have much, we had all we needed. And my parents were selfless enough to give us ten best friends for life.

Photo by G. E. Anderson, Maize House Makeup by Juna T

For me personally, it was very stressful to see how much faith everyone had in Jim before he even started. But for him, that was a challenge he was ready for, and despite upsets with Ohio State, things have gone well so far. I’m proud of him and of the team. I try to stay focused on the positive despite the losses. Overall, there’s still a big fan base and people are excited about the season to come.

And while it’s exciting, it’s only July and I already have the nervous butterflies in my stomach.

The expectation is so high, and while Jim handles it really well, every mention of what people are hopeful for puts more anxiety in my life. In my heart, I always think the best, but I’d rather think it’s not going to happen and be surprised when it does. I’m pretty sure this has something to do with the way I grew up.

12 | The Brick Magazine

I was eight months old when my brother, 18 months older than me, was diagnosed with cancer. It was an aggressive form of the disease, and he was lucky enough to have it go into remission after many years of treatment. My mom lived in the hospital with him for several months at a time while he received chemo and recovered from multiple surgeries. She cared for my brother and my dad worked to support the family. I was a baby and my parents couldn’t really care for me, so I went to live with friends of theirs.

For a while, I experienced being an only child, and I loved it. I would go home on the weekends and it felt like two totally different worlds.

In my “real” family (I consider them both my family), there wasn’t a lot of affection—no “I love you,” no hugs, that kind of thing. They loved us, they took care of us, but you never heard it. We didn’t really do emotional intimacy.

Then I’d go to my other family and all they did was cuddle and spoil. For a while, that made me question who I was and how I was supposed to act in the world. As I grew older, I understood both situations better and I learned to appreciate both (very different) upbringings.

Unfortunately, my “adopted” dad Darryl (who raised me until my brother went into remission) died in a plane crash when I was ten, and that was a big loss for me. Quite often after that there was another big loss of some sort.

My brother ended up getting cancer again and died at 22.

This was devastating for me. We were always together; everyone thought we were twins because we were the same size and so close in age. We had big plans for our future, he and I.

I’ll never let this happen again When my brother was diagnosed the second time, I was in college. I came back every weekend to spend time with him.

Every Sunday, as I prepared to go back to school, he asked me not to go; he asked me to please stay with him. I went anyway. Although I was with him when he passed away, I deeply regret going back to school every week. Looking back now, I wish I would have stayed with him and just taken that semester off. That is time I will never get back. And those moments with him are the ones I cherish most. We stayed up at night together a lot and talked about dying and death. The thought kept him up most nights. How could it not? I always tried to convince him that he wasn’t going to die, not anytime soon, and that he would be cured. However, we both knew that that wasn’t true. One night, he asked me what I would say if somebody asked me how many brothers I had after he died. I said, “I have six brothers, Andrew, and I’ll always have six brothers.” That’s when I knew that he knew he was dying, and it broke my heart. He had given up and that’s when I did too. That’s when we started focusing on keeping him comfortable and less on keeping him alive.

That was probably the experience that solidified my awareness that nothing is certain, nothing is promised, and we have to be grateful for everything we have and every

single day. Just recently my dad and another one of my brothers were both diagnosed with cancer. It’s painful to be caught in the realization that I can’t be there to help care for them. Luckily, there is a small army of us back in KC to help out. One of the perks of a large family, I suppose.

Cancer has been a part of my life for as long as I can remember. It’s a sad reality for many of us. That is why I’m passionate about helping to raise awareness for all types of cancers, but especially DIPG (diffuse intrinsic pontine glioma). After meeting the Carr family and spending time with Chad Carr while he tried to fight this awful disease, I couldn’t help but get behind them and fight. It’s got a 0% survival rate! This is where we need to focus. Like Tammi said in her article, ”If we can figure out the hardest tumor, it can be possible to help the rest.” I am proudly on the board of ChadTough and I wholeheartedly believe that there will be a major breakthrough in the near future.

I also plan to start volunteering for hospice. I’ve had an inner pull toward doing this for some time. Having the right people around when you or a loved one is making the transition can make a huge difference in how you view death and dying. It’s a strange experience to be with a loved one when they’re passing on. It’s horrible, but it can be beautiful. I think I have something to offer families in this position.

Chad Carr, with his mother Tammi, lost his battle with DIPG at the age of 5.

Imagine never holding your child again.

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If we fight as hard as these kids, we will find a cure.

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4/10/19 3:42 PM September 2019 | 13

players. They’re adults. But I wasn’t willing to just sit by and let people say something about our kid. I didn’t use profanity or anything like that, but I gave back everything they dished out.

Well, when you use a non-verified account with no history and then suddenly post multiple negative comments, they boot you out. You can re-sign in, but your identity will be out there given the way Twitter works, and that’s where I had to draw the line. I didn’t want this to come back on my family. I gave some pretty vicious comebacks that day, and I’ve never been on Twitter since.

Photo by G. E. Anderson, Maize House Makeup by Juna T

How I got kicked off Twitter This was a rough situation, because I’m just not a public person. Two years ago at a game we were losing to Wisconsin, my five-year-old son took it pretty hard. I thought it was going to be a great trip, you know—his first road game, one where the team would win. But as Wisconsin scored another touchdown, the cameras caught our son in the stands starting to cry as he realized what was happening. The video went viral after someone turned it into a GIF and Twitter lit up with people making fun of him. I’m not normally on Twitter, but a friend brought it to my attention and asked if I saw what was happening. People said awful things, not only about Jim, but things like “Like father like son” and “Cry-baby.” They laughed at his appearance and poked fun at his rather thick glasses. They said the most awful things, and I lost it.

As I read the comments, my heart clenched and my stomach turned. Eventually, I couldn’t help myself and I started responding from the account Jim’s assistant made for me. It wasn’t under my name at the time, because I knew I wasn’t going to post and I only wanted to keep up with what was going on with the team.

That day, a part of me came out that I hadn’t seen before.

It’s one thing to say things about Jim, the team or the

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I’m sure I’m not the first mom or coach’s wife who’s been through that. But I worry now that the kids are coming of age to see with their own eyes how nasty people can be. We have a two-, six-, eight-, and tenyear-old. They’ll get flack at school, especially during the season. Of course, it’s great when we’re winning. They’re excited to go to school and I’m excited to drop them off.

But it’s the complete opposite otherwise. I don’t want to use the cliche that this will make them stronger since it won’t kill them. People told my brother this a lot while I watched cancer kill him in the end. But I do hope they can find a way to be bigger people. That’s how I’m trying to raise them.

What it’s like to raise a family under a spotlight At school, the other kids know who Jim is, but I don’t think our kids really understand the magnitude of who their dad is until they’re out and people want an autograph or a picture. The kids get excited and proud about it, but they don’t really say anything; they’re used to it now. It makes me wonder how they’re processing it all. I try to make sure they understand that this isn’t normal or reality for most people. I don’t want them to get complacent or used to being treated this way.

One of them came home from school recently and said, “Mom, did you know that Dad is famous?!” and I said, “No...” He replied, “Yeah, one of my friends told me that he’s famous and he wanted MY autograph!” I listened as he started piecing together what this meant. “So now I’m famous,” he said.

I had to interrupt him. I explained to him that he was not famous and that Dad is famous because of how hard he’s worked and he’s earned that. I also explained how fame isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. I tried to downplay and simplify what fame means, because I always want them to be humble and grateful for what we have.

I make it a point for them to stay focused on what they have and understand that nothing is promised or permanent, things can and will go away eventually. It’s very important to me that they pray and have gratitude in their hearts. I stress the importance of understanding that everything we have is a blessing, which can also be a curse, depending on how you handle it. We focus on being grateful for every day for the fact that yes, right now, their dad has this great position, and the team is doing pretty good. It’s a blessing they get to go to games and have everything that comes with it, like having sleepovers in their dad’s office in Schembechler (their favorite!). But I also want them to know that this isn’t forever, and it’s not how everyone lives; it’s not “normal” life. He’s going to retire at some point and they have to earn their own living, their own way.

I want them to know the value of working hard and that hard work can bring blessings. He is where he is because he works all the time. He puts everything he has into it.

Everything. He rarely does anything for himself. He’s 100% focused on his work and the kids.

I stress this for them because I can see how Jim’s job can be cutthroat. I hear the bad stuff, and it resonates a lot longer than the good things. The highs and lows can be hard to manage because they can be extreme and they are so public.

Keeping the kids and my faith front and center has been very grounding for me. I want them to always depend on something higher than them. I also want them to be good, kind people. I never let them say mean things about others. They’re not alive to hate anyone, we don’t teach them that. With the kids at night, we intentionally pray for our country and its leadership given how much hate and polarization is being shown on the news. We pray for this to stop, no matter what people’s political beliefs are, and we pray for peace and good leadership in our country and in the world.

When it comes to sports and football, I try to model for my kids what it looks like to have team spirit, gratitude, and sportsmanship, whether your team is winning or losing, whether you’re getting your way or not.

As you can imagine, keeping my family grounded and focused takes up a lot of time. I receive plenty of invitations to do charity work and contribute to the community in different ways. I’m trying to contribute as much as I can, but with four under age ten, the biggest contribution I can give to the world at this time is making sure they’re good people. I take this very seriously.

What I wish people knew about me I’m flattered that people want to know more about me. It made me feel good to know you’ve had requests for this interview. I feel like a very normal person, and I’d love to get to know more people in town and develop more relationships (even though I’m a little apprehensive, I still welcome it!).

I feel like I’m just like everybody else and just trying to survive in this crazy world. I wish other people could see that and know that; there’s such a wall to overcome that I wish didn’t exist. I wish people didn’t judge so much.

The clothing line launching this fall This fall, I’ll be launching a clothing collection in partnership with Valiant and the M Den. It all started as a joke when I wore Jim’s old football pants to a Chicago Bears game last year. I thought everyone would find the pants funny. I showed up to meet our friends expecting them to laugh but instead they all asked me where I got the pants. Going into the game, I kept getting asked by strangers where I got the pants. So I called my brotherin-law who’s an apparel guy, and I asked if he knew anyone who would talk to me about making football pants for women. He told me to call John Wangler—also a former UM quarterback—who’s now in the sports apparel business and just so happens to be a good friend. After a few meetings we made a prototype of the pants, and we have a couple of other items that will launch with it— jerseys and sweatshirts and such—this coming fall. We’re excited about this, and looking forward to seeing how it’s received by the fans.

There’s a rich humanity in Sarah’s humble beginnings, early childhood changes and losses, and how she has used this for fuel to raise great children. Like too many of us, she’s experienced the good and bad in life, and is working to make the good outweigh the bad both for herself and her family. We wish Sarah the very best of luck on the clothing line launch this fall (to be found in the M Den) and the team the best of luck with their season. Go Blue!

Kristen M. Domingue is a copywriter and content marketing consultant in the New York City area. When she’s not delivering on client projects, you can find her cooking up something gluten-free or in an internet rabbit hole on entrepreneurship or astrology.

September 2019 | 15

What Are You Made Of?

by Tiffany Edison

Photo by Cathryn Lavery

16 | The Brick Magazine

W W

hether you like homes with a flair for hether you like homes with a flair for traditional interior design or prefer traditional interiorfor design prefer straight-up minimalism, one thing’s sure:oreach month straight-up minimalism, one thing’s for sure: month the final page of Traditional Home Magazine haseach a “Proust the final pageofofsorts Traditional HometoMagazine “Proust Questionnaire” each month help youhas findayour Questionnaire” of sorts each month to help you find taste. Celebrities and tastemakers answer this series of your taste. Celebrities tastemakers series of questions regardingand their daily habits,answer uniquethis perspectives, questions regarding their daily habits, unique perspectives, and proclivities that make them “traditional.” It is addictive. and proclivities that each makemonth them “traditional.”

It is addictive.

I sprint to the mailbox excitedly flipping to the I sprint to the mailbox each month excitedly flipping back page to dive straight into the psyche of whoever isto the back page to straight the psyche of whoever lucky enough to dive grace it. I aminto continually amazed at whatis lucky enough to grace it.

I am continually amazed at what I learn after reading these essays. This page has inspired learn Iafter reading essays.

This has inspired meI since received mythese first issue back in page the early ‘90s me since I received my first issue back in the earlya‘90s and serves as a good reminder that you cannot judge andbyserves as a Igood reminder youitcannot judge book its cover. would have to that google for proof, buta book by its cover.

I would have to google it for proof, but dare I say that I would not be surprised if Snoop Dog may dare I say that I would not all, be he surprised Snoopwith Dog may have been interviewed!

After is very iffriendly have been interviewed!

After all, he is very friendly with Martha Stewart, and we all know how she likes to get her Marthaon!

Stewart, and we all know how she likes to get her tradition tradition on!

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My point is, regardless of one’s upbringing or reputation pointupis,controversy, regardless ofmany one’sofupbringing or reputation forMy stirring these individuals are for stirring up controversy, many of these individuals in fact quite wholesome, and yes, have a penchant for are in fact quite wholesome, a penchant for living a traditional life. Someand playyes, thishave out through carefully living adécor traditional life.homes, Some and playothers this out through carefully selecting in their affectionately selecting décor in their homes, and others relay their loving holiday rituals, right down toaffectionately the daily relay their loving holiday rituals, right down to the daily affirmations that drive them out of bed in the morning. affirmations that drive them out of bed in the morning.

This guilty pleasure of mine serves as a wonderful exercise This guilty pleasure of mine serves as a wonderful exercise in thought provoking self-awareness. Who am I? What do in thought provoking self-awareness.

Who am I? What I stand for? What drives me? There is no shame in being do I stand for? sentimental, What drives or me?

There is no shame in being old-fashioned, (gulp) traditional. old-fashioned, sentimental, or (gulp) traditional.

It should come as no surprise that the rituals of our dayIt should as noofsurprise that the rituals of our dayto-day lives,come and many the activities that we engage to-daymindlessly), lives, and many of the activities that we in (albeit are ingrained in part from the engage home in (albeit mindlessly), are ingrained in part from the home in which our childhood unfolded. As a creature of habit, I in which our childhood unfolded.

As a creature of habit, admit that as soon as I enter my home at the end of the I that“waking as soonitasup” I enter home at to thesay. endThis of the day,admit I begin as mymy Mom used I begin “waking it up” asroom my Mom usedturning to say. on This actday, mainly entails walking from to room, act mainly entails walking from room to room, turning a lamp here or there, setting the mood for the evening on a lamp comfortably. here or there,I am setting for so theoften evening to unfold not the fondmood of quiet, to unfold comfortably.

I am not fond of quiet, so often music, the news, or the golf channel serve as my preferred music, thenoise news,selections. or the golfAlmost channel serve as my preferred background immediately I feel at background noise selections.

Almost immediately I feel peace. The rituals we hold have the power to increase or at peace. our The ability rituals to weenjoy hold our havehome the power to increase decrease environment and or decrease our ability to enjoy our home environment and September 2019 | 17

Photo by Annie Spratt

18 | The Brick Magazine

emotional satisfaction daily. As an interior designer, I have passed through a few phases in my professional career in regards to my chosen style, but as I age I find myself continuing to return to the satisfaction I receive from a well-designed home with roots firmly planted in tradition.

In an effort for readers to know themselves and their style just a little bit better, I have devised my own questionnaire as it pertains to the energy, interior design, and style of your home. I hope you partake in it as an opportunity for growth, or just for good old-fashioned fun! ●

___________________ is frivolous!

●

What it your favorite trinket or tchotchke? ___________________.

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In one word, my home’s exterior says __________________.

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Do you have a collection? __________________.

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My favorite place to sit __________________.

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I prefer antiques to new furniture items (true/false) __________________

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To me, wallpaper is the ultimate indulgence (true/ false) __________________

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__________________ is where I feel most at peace.

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I prefer waking up in a pitch-black hotel room (true/ false) __________________

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Animal prints are not very daring in my view (true/ false) __________________

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I prefer natural light (true/false) _______________

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Upon entering my home, I most dislike __________________.

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My favorite color is __________________.

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_______________________________ is my motto.

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When it comes to my home, I don’t mind spending on __________________.

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I live in my favorite neighborhood (true/false) __________________

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My favorite tradition is __________________.

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_________________ travel!

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I spend the majority of my time at home doing __________________.

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I prefer neutral colors, such as grey and cream, to bright vibrant colors (true/false) ____________

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I despise __________________.

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Home is where the __________________ is.

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I prefer minimal and streamlined interiors (true/false) __________________

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Moving would be my biggest __________________.

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Give me a bed full of pillows in my favorite color and/ or print and I’m good! (true/false) ______________

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My dream kitchen includes __________________

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Hand-me downs go straight to _________________.

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I would describe my vibe as __________________.

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I wish I had room for __________________ in my home.

Therefore, I am: Traditional People with this taste prefer detailed woodwork, carved moldings, sturdy crafted furniture, etc. (per Google).

Transitional This is a marriage of traditional and contemporary furniture, finishes, materials, and fabrics, equating to a classic, timeless design (per HGTV).

Contemporary This aesthetic contains neutral elements and bold color, and focuses on the basics of line, shape, and form (per HGTV).

Vintage Old-fashioned and elegant, this involves the use of old or artificially-aged furniture and décor (per Google).

(For more information regarding the “Proust Questionnaire” or Marcel Proust, please consult Wikipedia.)

Tiffany Edison has been an interior designer since 2002, and specializes in both residential and commercial projects.

She holds a Master of Social Work degree (ACSW) and utilizes interpersonal relationship skills on a daily basis with her client base, largely comprised of Ann Arbor and Metro Detroit residents. She has a wonderfully large blended family residing in the city and enjoys the comforts of home. When she’s not fully immersed in client projects, you can find her active on the golf course, a favorite pastime. www.birchdesignassociates.com Instagram: @birchdesignassociates

September 2019 | 19

for personal

& planetary thriving

Is Life Destiny, or Do We Create It?

by Morella Devost, EdM, MA

20 | The Brick Magazine

On the third morning, I woke just before sunrise and sat to meditate facing east, awaiting the sun. I was in deep stillness with the desert. When the sun’s rays finally arrived, I was awash with light and felt moved to walk down towards one of the hot springs. I stripped and continued my meditation there, in the water. I moved my hands spontaneously through a variety of mudras (meditative hand positions), and aligned them with each one of my chakras in ways nobody had taught me to do. Then, all of a sudden, for what may have been a few seconds, minutes, or an eternity, I had complete comprehension of the totality of my life.

In that moment, I was the orchestration of every event. I grasped how every single experience was a magnificently articulated link in the chain of events that told the story of this life. I was past, present, and future all at once. It was all complete and it was all...perfect.

In that instant, even the events I’d spent years wishing they’d been different proved to be exactly as they needed to be. There was no possibility of me being there in the Arizona desert had anything in my life unfolded in any other way. It all brought me there. And as I touched that perfection, there was a feeling of destiny, of preordination.

The tapestry of my life was already completely woven even as I found myself seemingly in the middle of it. The future had already occurred.

What if everything that occurs in our lives is exactly what was meant to happen?

Photo by MrsBrown

O

ne July morning in 2005, while meditating at sunrise alone in the red Arizona desert, I had the most profound experience of complete understanding in my life.

It happened while attending a retreat at Eden Hotsprings, a very special place in the middle of nowhere. I had slept in a tent in the general camping area the first night; but after watching the sunset from the top of a hill on the second evening, I decided I belonged out under the stars. For the next two nights, I slept on that hill, directly on the earth, and felt more at home than ever before.

We have mixed feelings about the concept of destiny.

For one, the idea seems to negate our ability to shape our lives. If everything is already set, then perhaps we simply sit back and do nothing. And yet, there’s also a sense of peace that can come from the belief in things being as they were meant to be. The shoulders drop a bit. Relinquishing our notions of effort and control can paradoxically open us to greater faith and optimism.

But what if both destiny and free will are true? What if somehow that tapestry of our lives is already shaped in a sort of destiny, and that destiny is precisely to be the shapers, the weavers of that life?

That morning meditation in the Arizona hotspring was the most profound experience, but not the only time I’ve felt

September 2019 | 21

Photo by Glauco Gianoglio

the certainty of all things being in divine order. The fact is, I can now find perfection in every experience. Every time I look for it, I find it, and the result is a profound inner peace with all of life.

We can find perfection in every challenging circumstance— every setback, every health challenge, and even the end of every relationship. Every setback can be not only an opportunity to grow, but also a blessing by creating the space for course-correction. Our health challenges can be some of our greatest teachers and tests of our faith, our courage, and our self-care—and can leave us with great wisdom and self-compassion. Embracing the end of relationships shows us how those relationships served 22 | The Brick Magazine

us, how we grew from them, how they helped us become who we are.

When we allow what has already happened to be perfect, we take a bold stance to redefine the word perfection into meaning that whatever has happened is the perfect thing.

This requires courage. All too often, we actually hate the result we’ve gotten. We feel anger, despair, or heartbreak.

If instead of slumping into defeat or resistance, we allow what is to be perfect, we find that our shift in attitude opens many more possibilities for action. We start to see perhaps a silver lining. We receive insights into new solutions and new pathways. We grow.

But what about injustice? What about human rights violations? What about environmental destruction? How can we accept any of these as being perfect or meant to be?

buried feelings from the assault. Despite how devastatingly painful these challenges were, I cannot wish any of them away. They are part of my perfect tapestry.

Each individual story of injustice, violation, and destruction is a tragedy in itself. The rightful emotion is anger because anger demands action. And yet, when instead of jumping to attack (which is often laden with resistance) we accept that whatever has happened cannot be changed, because past actions cannot be altered, we start to find new avenues to channel our anger towards fueling powerful solutions. Even the most heinous thing is the “perfect” outcome in the tapestry that laid the groundwork for it.

Each step of the journey has shaped me. I cannot be the healer I am today without any part of it. I am in complete peace with all of it. I can help others who’ve had similar experiences and choose to be a weaver in the collective tapestry of the healing of humanity so there is less injustice, less violation, and less destruction. I am better able to achieve this through embracing what is, rather than remaining in resistance.

And here is where we find the intersection between destiny and free will.

In my life, I’ve experienced the shattering loss of my family at three years old, when my parents deeply wounded each other, along with the ensuing feelings of abandonment from my dad’s moving out. I experienced sexual assault in college, along with a decade of shame, anger, and resentment because of it. I experienced severe cystic acne and hormone problems as a result of the

Everything that has happened has been perfect; almost preordained. And from here I choose how to continue weaving.

Morella Devost facilitates profound transformation for people who want to thrive in every aspect of life. After receiving two masters degrees in counseling from Columbia University, she also became a Clinical Hypnotherapist, NLP facilitator, and Holistic Health Coach. Morella is a Venezuelan-Vermonter who works with people all over the world from her beautiful office in Burlington, Vermont. www.thrivewithmorella.com www.facebook.com/ThriveWithMorella

Come Visit...

We are in our new home!

EVERYONE IS WELCOME

open house

Sunday, September 29th, 2019 Open House 1:00 - 4:00 pm Ribbon Cutting Ceremony 1:10 pm 5665 Hines Drive, Ann Arbor, MI 48108

Tour our new Home for Healing Hearts and learn more about our grief programs for children & teens www.elesplaceannarbor.org | 734.929.6640

September 2019 | 23

Two Blissed-Out Babes!

The Joy of Mother-Daughter Travel

by Maria Sylvester, MSW, CPC

Photo by Maria Sylvester

24 | The Brick Magazine

“Beyond my wildest dreams” really did happen to me, in this lifetime. I could never have imagined the multiple ways a trip to Italy with my adult daughter could break my heart open even wider than it already had been in our relationship.

We were celebrating her college graduation. The destination, southern Italy. Her pick. We were together in the magnificent mozzarella, eggplant caponata, and arancino regions for nine nights, ten days—or to be exact, 240 glorious hours, said the mama who savored every second.

The magic that happened for both of us, at its core, had nothing to do with Italy, although the landscapes, quaint villages, sea vistas, sweet locals, and mouth-watering fresh, farm-to-table food seemed to bathe everything in a wash of gold. Ok, actually maybe gold glitter. The real magic, however, had to do with the way time stopped and our connection deepened in rich, dynamic, and unexpected ways.

Each of us got to experience ourselves, and each other, in different lights. It is for exactly this reason that in the future, when my coaching clients ask for thoughts or ideas on how to create a really good life, my list will include a recommendation for regular one-on-one travel time with adult children. To spot-light the key elements of this experience, I’ll share a few insights.

Shedding Old Roles and Ways of Being Experiencing your loved one in a new place creates spaciousness for special types of interactions, as well as unique ways of experiencing one’s self. Routines and familiarity of ways of existing and connecting, for better or worse, get thrown out the window when one crosses time zones and many miles. Both my daughter and myself had the joy of witnessing each other in fun, distinctly unusual ways, amid foreign lands. Simply stated, yet powerfully felt.

In other words, we had a blast! And this blast was enhanced because of the novelty of place. We had no known template for our relationship as a twosome in Italy. We invented it, and lived creatively into it, momentby-moment. Each day brought diverse experiences, and with such came an exhilarating, spontaneous sense of expansiveness in our ways of relating. My heart felt waves of appreciation for the special ways I came to know my daughter, and her me, through our adventure. A travel opportunity allowed us to be adult equals embracing each

other and the exquisiteness of Italy in profoundly powerful and out-of-the-ordinary fashion.

The backdrop of a new country, coupled with my not having to be in mama-mode in any capacity—instead just a curious traveler—left the door wide open for fresh perspectives on our mother-daughter relationship. How wonderful it was for us to simply BE in the experience of each moment, and of each other, with no expectations other than to revel in the wonders of the sights, sounds, and tastes in front of us. And to do this together! Together is a key concept here. Side-by-side. Out of our typical mother-daughter roles.

Take for example the cold, chilly grey morning we found ourselves in a tiny, five-generations-owned gelato shop. Not only did we fall in love with a sweet elderly shop owner with sparkling kind eyes (who I’m sure was channeling care, love, and good-will from my recently deceased father), but we also took him up on his offer to give us free shots of sambuca—the yummy Italian liquor that tastes like licorice. Heck, who needs gelato when you can toast with sambuca at 10am in the morning! Our hearts and spirits were warmed to the core. A shared memory for the books. Novelty for sure.

How different this was from typical daily life, where we might, for instance, chat over the phone about the goingson of our daily life. Hers centered around work, friends, and college life in Detroit. Mine focused on work, marriage, and activities in Ann Arbor. We frequently share and report back on what we’ve been into and up to. Yet being able to be together traveling, amid the charm and lure of Italy, with no obligations, schedules, or day-to-day demands, brought out a bit of the wild ’n crazy in both of us. Every day was packed with amazing sight-seeing experiences.

The wonder of it all seemed to enhance the simple joy we experienced in each other. This reality, and the magnificent freedom it offered, packed a powerful punch.

We completely blissed out on it, feeling the blessings of a deepening connection around every turn of the that aweinspiring Amalfi Coast.

New Paradigms & Appreciations Stepping out of our typical mother-daughter routines brought new paradigms into play. We weren’t pushed by time constraints. We could actually stroll down the cobblestone streets and delight in slow, thoughtful

September 2019 | 25

Photo by Maria Sylvester

26 | The Brick Magazine

conversations or mad dashes to check out compelling shops or outdoor bistros (our three pairs of gorgeous Italian leather shoes give testimony to such delicious impulses). Another perk was getting to share focused quality time over glasses of red wine or aperol spritzes.

Together we reveled in the beauty and sensualness of a country ripe with olives, incredible marble statues, ancient churches, mosaics, brilliant seas, fuchsia flowers, and oh, those cappuccinos. Add to this silly, crack-each-other up moments, when laughing, we would find ourselves running to photograph the exact same shot of some very obscure treasure. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

Another highlight of traveling with my daughter was getting to watch interesting interactions she had with the other members of our tour group. The group was beautifully diverse in culture, ages, and temperaments.

I marveled at my daughter’s ease of relating and the brilliant ways she wove together threads of contact and engagement with our fellow travelers. Equally, I savored the compliments I heard, more times than I could count, about her personality and spirit.

Privately, I noted the ways she had clearly grown into her center. She brought well-developed character strengths of vibrancy, compassion, and playfulness along with her on the trip. She showed up for relationships as a confident, curious, open soul, always up for creative give-andtake in communication. I also got to observe how she competently navigated several challenging travel moments with an ever-steady, calm state. Observing this left me reassured she could successfully travel internationally alone or with company at any time in her future. And keep in mind, half of the pleasure for me in watching her roll in such a fashion came from exactly that—getting to watch!

Traveling, unencumbered by day-to-day responsibilities or worries, offered me the opportunity to simply sit back and witness her growth.

In a similar way, my daughter got to observe me mingling, chatting, and simply being full-out me with our travel companions, as well as the many incredible Italian people we encountered. She saw multiple sides of her mama that don’t normal show up at the table. At one point, she shared how refreshing it was seeing me “so independent” and as a “travel companion” rather than just “Mom.” She commented on how cool it was that not only had I worked hard all year to save money for our trip, but then how important it was to witness me “live it all out

Photo by Markus Spiske

with abandon”—referring to my completely carefree and spontaneous spirit. She noted the freedom I gave myself as I ate whatever I pleased, drank as I wished, explored with a passion, and indulged on purchasing Italian treasures as so inspired! Indeed, I believe I grew in her eyes by a few dimensions, and with a fresh appreciation. Hopefully I demonstrated a few insights into living well.

Delicious Memories Clearly, the best souvenirs we brought home with us were, by far, our memories. They are spectacular. They are memories that strengthened our bond and broadened our horizons. These treasures will not only last a lifetime, but are already carrying us into excitement about the next trip. I’m full-on committed to making travel experiences with my daughter, at least once yearly, part of our shared reality. Because what’s not to love about doing so? Can’t wait to see where the next plane ride will take us!

Maria Sylvester, MSW, CPC is a certified Life Coach in Ann Arbor, MI who loves empowering adolescents, adults, and couples to live from the HEART of what really matters to them so that they can bring their fully expressed, vibrant selves into the world. She has a special gift for helping women reclaim their feminine power, and embrace their radiant, sensual, sexy spirits. Their lives transform. They soar into their mid-life magnificence! www.lifeempowermentcoaching.com

September 2019 | 27

Welcome to Booze 101 with

Liz

O’zapft Is! It’s Lederhosen Season

by Liz Crowe

28 | The Brick Magazine

Prince Ludwig to Princess Teresa of SassoniaHildburghausen. Talk about a wedding party—the entire city of Munich was invited to a field at the city’s gate that is now named Theresienwiese in the princess’s honor, later shortened to Wies’n. That year, and several years after, there was a horse race and a ginormous feast. The next year they did it again (because why not?) and the concept of the Oktoberfest was born.

There have been breaks in the celebrations for epidemics and war, and the horse race part of it ended in 1960, but the event is as much a celebration of the agriculture and the Bavarian economy to this day. But yeah, there is a lot of beer. Because Germany.

E

The phrase O’zapft is! is Bavarian dialect for es ist angezapft in German. Anzapfen is a tap with a wooden hammer that is used to open a barrel of beer. So, basically when that sucker gets busted open by the mayor, it means “Let’s Party!” I don’t know about you, but I’m loving that phrase and now want to pack for my trip to Munich.

very year since 1950, in the city of Munich, Germany, the mayor busts open a barrel of beer with a hammer to kick off a two-week long celebration.

You’re probably aware of what this is, of course. I’m not here to insult anyone’s beer intelligence. But for the record, Oktoberfest begins in September, and has done so since 1819. It lasts two weeks. There is a lot of beer flowing, to put it mildly. These days, it’s taken on a serious touristy edge, complete with carnival-style rides and whatnot, but it remains one of the best pure beer-based celebrations you can aspire to, should you have such a thing on your beer tourism bucket list like I do.

Now, mind you, because this a German celebration, there are certain rules that must be adhered to with regard to the beer. No, not the consumption of it. That you can do however much your heart and liver desire. But the beer itself, the “Oktoberfest,” is a specific style. It’s called a Märzen which means (traditionally) it’s brewed in March and stored through the summer months until it’s ready to consume in the fall. Obviously, this was done because when it was first consumed, there was no such thing as a giant refrigerated beer cooler; there were only underground caves for storage, so it made sense to brew it in the spring. It has a higher hop content than most traditional German beers and is also higher in alcohol— about six or seven percent.

It began in 1810 to celebrate the marriage of Crown

Now comes the fun part where I finally get to teach you

September 2019 | 29

about the Reinheitsgebot. This is sometimes called the “German purity law,” as it relates to beer. Also known as the Edict of Purity, it was enacted in 1485 for the city of Munich (which is the capital of Bavaria), then signed in 1516. It specified that the production of beer throughout Bavaria was bound to use of only three ingredients.

Know them? Go on, I’ll wait. Yep. Just the basics: barley, hops, and water.

“But Liz,” you say, because I love getting questions. “How can you make beer without yeast?”

Well, of course, you can’t. We’ve learned this together, have we not?

You see, in 1516, the reason that beer became beer (i.e. yeast) wasn’t really fully understood. So therefore, it wasn’t in the original Reinheitsgebot. Fermentation, one supposed (and I am only supposing here and I write

30 | The Brick Magazine

fiction too, bear with me) happened by magic. Once Louis Pasteur figured it all out, we got our fourth ingredient for beer purity.

Oh, and the hops were not added for “haze” or “juiciness.”

They were merely used as a preservative. Bonus! We got some interesting flavors added to the malt as a result.

Today, the German beer law (Biergsetz) leans heavily on the Reinheistsgebot to maintain high quality, although it was technically replaced by the Vorläufiges deutsches Biergesetz (Provisional Law on German Beer) which allows for certain formerly prohibited ingredients like wheat malt and sugar cane. Yeah. You’re not gonna convince these guys that adding raspberries and mango is the way to quality beer.* (*Please do remember our discussion of Radlers. Germans love to mix things into their beers. However, there are over 100 kinds of hops, forty types of malt, plus over 200

yeast strains available. Not to mention the wide variation in the water in the country; I’m told that—and I have yet to verify this, but am willing to give it a shot—you could drink a different German beer every day for 15 years. That’s not one beer a year. That’s 365 beers a year. This is coming from the German Brewers Federation, so you decide whether or not to buy into it.)

A traditional Märzen beer is deep copper-colored and malty (sweet, as opposed to bitter or hoppy).

Comparatively, it’s a stronger version of a Vienna Lager.

There is now a paler, less strong Oktoberfestbier that has broader appeal, although the Bavarian breweries always make a proper Märzen for those who want the Real Deal.

About those breweries—which brings up another rule for this fest: during the festival, only six breweries meet the criteria for making and serving Oktoberfestbier. They include some you’ve heard of: Paulaner-Bräu, HackerPschorr-Bräu, Löwenbräu, and a few you might not know.

Suffice it to say, these guys know this style inside and out and produce their beer according to the rigid constraints of the Edict of Purity. So that’s that. Done and dusted.

That said, we are, of course, in the Great Beer State. Many of our very own breweries have their version of this style, with varying levels of purity and/or success. A few of them keep things pure and their Märzens truly stand out: Bell’s, Wolverine, Mitten Brew, ROAK, and Griffin Claw. The thing to bear in mind is that this is a specific style—a lager (stay with me here. We learned the difference between lagers and ales) that is heavier (ABV) and maltier than other lagers, so making it the traditional way is key for some consumers. For others, as long as it’s amber, not too hoppy, and around five or six percent ABV, and served in a giant mug or a giant glass boot—well, that’s what “Oktoberfest” means to them.

And where does one most happily consume one’s favorite version of the Märzens? Outdoors, of course, in a beer

garden. There are a few worth checking out down here in our corner of the state. You owe it to yourself to have at least one amber, malty beer this fall at Fenton Winery and Brewery. It has arguably the most beautiful, natural beer gardens around. Right downtown Ann Arbor you can quaff a cold Oktoberfest style brew at Bill’s on the corner of Ashley and Liberty. One of my faves is Corner Brewing in Ypsi for al fresco beer drinking. The Session Room out on Jackson Road also has a lovely expanse of green with tables. But you are truly remiss if you don’t have a couple delicious Hacker-Pschorr-Bräu Oktoberfestbiers at one of Ann Arbor’s oldest traditional German restaurants: Metzger’s, out on Zeeb road near I-94. I’ll meet you there!

Well...what are you waiting for? O’zapft is, already!

Amazon best-selling author, mom of three, brewery founder, craft beer marketing consultant, and avid sports fan, Liz Crowe is a Kentucky native and graduate of the University of Louisville currently living in Ann Arbor.

She has decades of experience in sales, public relations, and fundraising, plus an eight-year stint as a three-continent, ex-pat trailing spouse, all of which provide ongoing idea fodder for novels and other projects. www.facebook.com/lizcroweauthor (fan page) www.twitter.com/ETLizCrowe

September 2019 | 31

An Apple a Dayâ&#x20AC;¦

by Alison Corey

Photo by Mathilde Merlin 32 | The Brick Magazine

T

here is nothing like being a Michigander in autumn. It is far and above my favorite season with the crisp air, sunny skies, and the colorful leaves that litter the ground.

Harvest season is in full swing, and the numerous apple orchards and cider mills in the area open their doors to quench our cravings for crunchy apples, sweet cider, and donuts.

One of our favorite family traditions is to head out to the apple orchard on a warm Sunday afternoon and bring home a bushel of apples. It’s a wonderful way to spend an afternoon together walking through the orchard, looking for a tree that hasn’t been picked over, and finding apples that are within arm’s reach. My kids love to climb on my husband’s shoulders to reach the high ones, and I can’t help but laugh and smile as they wobble and reach for an apple that’s just out of reach.

When we get home, it’s time for me to get creative in the kitchen. My family loves a traditional apple pie, apple crisp, and apple butter. A sweet slice of traditional apple pie is a delicious and deserving treat every once and awhile, but there are other fabulous ways to use apples in your cooking that don’t include added sugar.

As a plant-based health coach, I look for creative ways to use nutrient-rich fruits (like apples) and vegetables in a way that pleases my family and retains their excellent health benefits.

You’ve heard the saying “An apple a day keeps the doctor away.” Is there any truth to that statement?

While apples are a healthy, nutrient-rich fruit with numerous health benefits as mentioned above, we must be wise when choosing our apples for consumption, and how we decide to prepare them to reap the most benefits.

Buy Organic Apples The EWG (Environmental Working Group) puts out a list of the top 12 fruits and vegetables that contain the highest amount of pesticide residue. Around 70% of the produce sold in the U.S. contains pesticide residue, which is why it’s important to consult this list before going grocery shopping. Researchers have found that some pesticides that are sprayed on fruits and vegetables can cause cancer. The EWG has a list of its Clean 15, which are the fruits with the lowest amount of pesticide residue and are okay to buy non-organic.

Apples rank #5 on the EWG’s Dirty Dozen list, which is why it’s important to buy organic when it comes to apples.

Prepare and Consume Apples in Their Natural Form When apple season arrives and we head to the orchard to pick bushels of apples to bring home, we get excited by the sweet treats we can prepare using our delicious bounty. Apple muffins, apple pie, apple bread, apple butter, apple crisp—the list goes on.

However, if the goal of consuming apples is to benefit our health, the best way to consume apples are in their natural form, without adding sugar. Apples are naturally tart and sweet, and you can still prepare a delicious and satisfying apple treat using natural ingredients with no added sugar.

While an apple a day isn’t a hard-and-fast rule to keep the doctor away, it is a great place to start. A diet rich in natural plant-based foods combined with regular physical fitness is a recipe for health and longevity.

Tired of the typical apple recipes? Look no further!

My Green Apple Smoothie is a nutrient-rich snack or breakfast. Did you know apples can be the star of dinner? Try my Apple and Arugula Flatbread. Looking for a tasty dessert without the added sugar? Give my Baked Apple Nachos a try!

September 2019 | 33

The Top 5 Health Benefits of Apples 1. Apples are full of vitamins and fiber.

Apples are low in calories, high in fiber, and contain notable amounts of vitamin C, potassium, and vitamin K. An average apple (that is three inches in diameter) is 95 calories. Most of the vitamins of an apple are contained in its skin, so don’t peel your apples before eating them.

2. Apples are great for weight loss.

Due to their high fiber and water content, apples are very filling. However, don’t go for apple juice or apple sauce; eat a whole apple with the skin on. It will help you feel fuller longer and carry you between meals.

Photo by Alison Corey

Baked Apple Nachos Vegan, Gluten-Free 4 Servings

Ingredients:

3. Apples are good for your heart.

•

Apples contain soluble fiber that can lower your blood and cholesterol levels, thus improving your heart health. The polyphenols in apples, which are contained in the skin, have an antioxidant effect and may lower cholesterol and reduce the risk of stroke.

• • • • •

4. Apples lower your risk of type 2 diabetes.

Other studies have found that eating apples daily was linked to 28% lower risk of type 2 diabetes, which is possibly due to the polyphenols in apples that have an antioxidant effect.

5. Apples promote good gut bacteria Apples contain pectin, a type of fiber that acts as a prebiotic. This feeds the good bacteria in your gut, which is another reason that apples are linked to a lower risk of obesity, heart disease, and type 2 diabetes.

34 | The Brick Magazine

4 organic Granny Smith Apples (or apple of your choice), cored and sliced thin 2 tsp cinnamon 4 tbsp almond butter ¼ cup raisins 2 tbsp crushed almonds 1 tbsp chia seeds

Nacho Sauce: • • •

¼ cup whole fat coconut milk 1 tbsp maple syrup 2 tbsp dried cranberries

Preheat oven to 225 F. Wash, core, and thinly slice apples. Spread them evenly on an ungreased cookie sheet.

Sprinkle apples with cinnamon.

Bake for 45 minutes to 1 hour, or until apples are dried and edges curl up.

While apples are baking, make nacho sauce. Combine coconut milk, maple syrup, and cranberries in a blender.

Remove apple chips from the oven.

Drizzle almond butter evenly over the apple chips.

Drizzle nacho sauce evenly over the apple chips.

Sprinkle raisins, crushed pecans, and chia seeds on top.

Apple Arugula Flatbread Vegan • Servings: 4

Ingredients: Arugula Pesto: • 2 cups of fresh basil • 2 cups of organic arugula • ⅓ cup pine nuts • 2 cloves of garlic • 2 tbsp of nutritional yeast • 1 tbsp of lemon juice • ½ tsp sea salt • 2 tbsp olive oil

Flatbread: • • • • •

1 prepared whole wheat flatbread 2 thinly-sliced Fuji apples (or any apple you have on hand) 1 cup of arugula ¼ cup nutritional yeast 2 tbsp chopped walnuts

Preheat oven to 400 F. Blend all ingredients for the pesto in a food processor until smooth.

Spread the top of the flatbread with the arugula pesto mixture. (Use as much as you like, you might have some leftover pesto to make whole wheat pasta later!)

Green Apple Smoothie Vegan, Gluten-Free • Servings: 2

Ingredients: • • • • • •

2 cups almond milk 1 cup organic kale, stemmed ½ avocado 1 organic Granny Smith Apple 1 frozen banana 1 tbsp chia seeds

Chop and stem the kale. Cube the Granny Smith Apple and chop the frozen banana into chunks.

In your blender, combine the almond milk and kale. Blend until the kale is broken down. Add the avocado and blend until smooth. Add the apple and blend until smooth. Add the frozen banana and chia seeds.

Pour into two glasses and sprinkle a few chia seeds on top.

Wash, core, and thinly slice the Fuji apples. Arrange on top of the flatbread.

Sprinkle nutritional yeast on top.

Bake for ten minutes or until the edge of the flatbread begins to brown.

Top with arugula and walnuts and serve.

Alison Corey, is a certified health and wellness coach, registered yoga teacher (200 RYT), vegan food blogger, wife of an omnivore, and mother of two picky eaters.

Alison helps mixed-diet families find peace in the kitchen with plant-based recipes everyone enjoys. Alison helps her clients eat more veggies and love it while improving their health in the process. First session is FREE. For more delicious whole food plant-based recipes, and to learn more about her work please visit www.keepingthepeas.com www.instagram.com/keepingthepeas/ www.pinterest.com/keepingthepeas/

September 2019 | 35

6 Ways to Take Control of Your Life

by Kierra D. Gray

Photo by Justin Milhouse

36 | The Brick Magazine

M

otherhood is a loaded experience for some and a simple realization for others. Being a mother is one of the many hats I wear, but I don’t allow this role to dictate who I am. Sometimes moms can get lost in this consuming role because society tells us that once we are a mom, this hat becomes our entire identity.

Patriarchal gender roles tell women to stay at home, mother our children, and stay in our lane while we still receive less pay than our male counterparts.

In 2016, I became a mother to my daughter after I graduated from my master’s degree program. While this was a mentally taxing pregnancy, I didn’t allow my newfound identity to overshadow my goals. I traveled to Johannesburg, South Africa two days after I learned I would become a mother. After this trip and this lifechanging realization, I learned resilience. I took the leap and moved to Washington, D.C. during my pregnancy to report on Capitol Hill after my professor suggested I drop out of the program. Although I originally felt defeated and hopeless, that ultimately fueled my motivation even more.

I needed to prove to her, but most importantly to myself, that I could achieve whatever I set my mind to, despite the circumstances. I didn’t know what the future would hold, but I knew I needed to take control of my situation.

I rationalized these “risks” by telling myself to just do it.

I couldn’t control what others thought of me, but I could control my actions and perspective.

While I was proving to myself that I could reach my goals, I had to switch doctors three times, and balance school, reporting, and my mental health. More professors encouraged me to drop out and return later. This wasn’t an option. I could not drop out because I lived out of state. Additionally, balancing schoolwork and a newborn would be more difficult. It made better sense to complete the program while pregnant because being pregnant did not render me incapable of completing tasks, and I was going to accomplish what I set out to achieve. I do not think they understood what I needed to accomplish. This left me feeling lonely and unsupported in the graduate program. Nevertheless, I persevered. I wondered if a man was in my situation—24 and having a child while in graduate school—would the professors

tell him to drop out of the program? I knew the answer was no. They wouldn’t give it a second thought.

Society sets up impossible benchmarks for us to achieve, especially women. If you haven’t achieved X, Y, and Z by 30, then you’re deemed a failure. If you’re unmarried with a child, you’re unworthy. If you haven’t “snapped back” after your pregnancy, you’re undesirable. But, logic would tell us that these things are simply not true. Life happens. Women are pressured to have it all together while men are praised for doing the bare minimum. As a millennial mother, I often look to social media and compare my journey to others. I am here to say: it is possible to have a child and do what you want in life. You don’t need to put your dreams on hold. We just have to be more strategic, and I see that as a positive. For me, having a child made me more focused and forced me tolerate less nonsense from others. But I also learned that sometimes I need to get out of my own way.

Here are six ways to take control of your life:

Listen to your inner voice Most of the time, your gut will tell you what to do. Have you ever gotten the feeling that something was off and your mind kept telling you to run the other way? That’s your inner voice, your inner guide protecting you. When I didn’t listen to my inner voice, I learned the hard way. Try to discern when it’s the voice of doubt, a lack of faith, or negativity versus your inner moral compass leading you where you need to go.

Change your daily habits Albert Einstein is credited with saying, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results.” In order to take control of your life, you have to change your daily habits. Going to bed and waking up earlier, reading books and listening to podcasts, setting a schedule and sticking to it are all part of changing your daily habits. When I go to bed at a decent time to allow myself an adequate amount of sleep, I feel better and I am more productive. Adding consistent exercise and eating habits are also key. If you don’t feel good, your other obligations will suffer.

September 2019 | 37

and my schedule, or plan ahead for the week. My life goes more smoothly when I am not rushing to complete my tasks. Getting organized also means avoiding overbooking your schedule. When I overbook, I am running around all day leading while my stress and anxiety are building because it’s almost impossible to complete all my tasks.

Find a system that works for you.

Pay attention to what your body tells you Stress can exhibit itself in many ways, such as tension in your shoulders, clenched jaw, headaches, chest pains, etc. Your body tells you when you need to slow down. According to the Therapy for Black Girls article “The Realism And Dreams of Black Women,” Carmelle Ellison, LCSW, states: “In the midst of treading unknown territories, don’t worry about being ‘right.’ Give more attention to being wholehearted.

Get out of your head and start to experience life from your body. Decisions can be made much simpler. Just notice, ‘how is [my] body responding throughout each phase of this transition?’” When life brings us transitional seasons, stress, sickness, or even joy, our body responds. Be in tune to these changes. Also, stay on top of your health. Be sure to schedule your annual physical, dental appointments, therapy appointments, appointments with your gynecologist, etc.

Your body and mind will thank you later.

Photo by Justin Milhouse

Change the way you talk to yourself Your words have power. Your words can manifest your destiny. If you say you can’t do something then you won’t. Talk to yourself the way you would talk to a family member or friend you love. If you can honestly say you wouldn’t say to them the words you tell yourself, then it’s time to treat yourself kindly. Give yourself some compassion and gratitude for making it this far. You’re probably doing better than you think.

Learn to say “no” The word “no” creates healthy boundaries. Constantly saying “yes” to appease people when you don’t have the time or capacity helps no one. Spreading yourself too thin can allow for confusion, exhaustion, and irritation that will often be unintentionally projected onto others. When you say “no,” try not to feel guilty or let others guilt you into doing what they asked.

Let go of the old story holding you back. Do the necessary work to get out of your head the habit that is rendering you stuck in the story that you are trying to leave behind. Give yourself permission to grow and write a new story. You can control your narrative and write the story of your dreams.

Kierra D. Gray is a local writer, blogger, and millennial mental health advocate. Her blog The Roadmap Back is a platform dedicated to connecting women across the globe who are on a journey of self-discovery. She’s a young woman with a heart for millennial mothers. She wants other women to unapologetically live life on their own terms and inspire the next generation of women to live without shame and wholeheartedly chase after their dreams. She’s raising her daughter Zion to know her strength as a young girl of color. She’s currently pursuing her Master of Social Work at the University of Michigan - Ann Arbor. She also holds a B.A. in Women’s Studies, Afro-American and African Studies, and Writing from the University of Michigan - Ann Arbor and an M.S. in Journalism from Northwestern University’s Medill School of Journalism.

Blog: theroadmapback.com

Get organized

Instagram: @roadmapback & @kierradgray

I feel good when I purge my room, organize my closet

Twitter: @kierradgray

38 | The Brick Magazine

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steinerschool.org • admissions @ steinerschool.org September 2019 | 39

It Just So Happens

I

by Lisa Profera, MD

t just so happens that the “Fountain of Youth” is fed by more than one pipeline. What do I mean by that?

Many of you know that I am passionate about proactive rejuvenation—what we can do to manage how we age and how well we live.

people are spending decades suffering with chronic illness, debilitating diseases, dementia, and cancer rather than enjoying their lives. In the medical world, we have gotten really good at prolonging suffering while trying to prolong life.

Last month’s article was about living younger longer— feeling younger than your chronological age for decades. In the article, I wrote about the concept of compression of morbidity where ideally, the vast majority of your lifespan is spent enjoying optimal health and functionality, and the absolute smallest part of your life involves suffering and death. Unfortunately, many

Some of the factors that affect our quality and quantity of life are determined by genetics and things like luck, fate, and karma. Most of these things are fixed or unalterable.

But, it just so happens that the vast majority of factors that influence our quality of life are directly related to lifestyle choices. Yes, choices. Things that are in our control, things that we can change for the better.

40 | The Brick Magazine

These choices are the pipelines to the “Fountain of Youth.”

Wouldn’t it be wonderful to take a dip in a luxurious, mystical, ancient fountain and be miraculously rejuvenated?

Unfortunately, such an easy fix only exists in myths and legends. Actually, the magic of the fountain is what feeds it from below. If we want to be truly youthful and optimally healthy, we need to nourish our bodies with good foods and nutrients, and drink plenty of water. I don’t like to use the word “diet” because it contains the word “die.” I like the CrossFit® mantra: “Eat meat and vegetables, nuts and seeds, some fruit, little starch and no sugar.” It’s simple—just eat real food: local, clean, and fresh as much as possible.

Most real food doesn’t have a nutrition facts label on it.

Most real food is perishable (no long shelf-life). It is not processed, nor does it contain a bunch of preservatives, artificial colors or flavors, added sugars, or unhealthy oils.

Eating for wellness is going to prolong your life.

Movement is something our bodies were made for. Sitting is the enemy. Regular physical activity will certainly shift your health in a positive direction. We have many wonderful choices here in Ann Arbor: hiking, biking, water sports, several different kinds of yoga, numerous gyms, and so much more. The key is to get up and do it. Personal trainers can come to your home, and group classes are held in some workplaces. There are many apps, programs, and videos one can use at home or outside as well.

Challenge yourself and have fun. Mix it up so you don’t get bored. Consistency is key. You will feel more energetic, more vibrant. You will also sleep better.

I can’t say enough about how important sleep is. Our bodies regenerate and recharge when we sleep. Poor sleep or not enough sleep is associated with increased mortality. Our body systems become dysfunctional, leading to a host of diseases. Sleep deprivation can speed up the aging process, not only by slowing memory and cognitive performance, but also by causing older-looking skin. Be sure to get your “beauty sleep” (read more about sleep in my BRICK article in the July 2019 issue).

Emotional and/or physical stress can take its toll as well. Learning how to manage it is imperative. Stress is always going to exist, we need to learn to avoid it or guard ourselves from it as much as possible. If you look back at some of the previous issues of BRICK, you will find many insightful articles that can help you with stress management. Stress can also come in the form of environmental toxins and chemicals that our bodies are

exposed to (over 80,000 chemicals) on a daily basis.

These foreign substances challenge our metabolism and our immune system. Sometimes they make us sick or inflamed. Minimizing your chemical exposure can be achieved by making smart choices in your home and personal care. Many cleaning products and personal care products are full of synthetic chemicals, solvents, and hormone disruptors. You can actually find a lot of good information at EWG (Environmental Working Group, https://www.ewg.org/). There is a popular app called Think Dirty that gives you instant information on how “clean” or “dirty” a product is just by scanning the barcode with your phone. You may be surprised to find that your favorite brands are not as clean and natural as the label implies.

Take the best care of your body as you can. Be proactive about your self-care. Protect the time you set aside for you. Don’t skip your regular doctor or dentist appointments either. When feeling ill, seek medical care when appropriate. Attend to your body’s needs. Examples include massage, chiropractic adjustments, acupuncture, aromatherapy, and much more. Enjoy nature, soak up the sun, walk barefoot on the beach, listen to the sounds of waves, water, birds, and smell the flowers and the forest.

You don’t need to spend a lot of money on a vacation— you can find all of these things right here close to home.

I feel fortunate to be able to walk down the block and get to the Huron River to go for a run or hike or float down the cascades—it’s like a mini-break and it only takes an hour. There are so many lovely places to explore right here, so when you are feeling like you need to recharge, just get out there and re-boot.

It just so happens that you can create your own “Fountain of Youth” by feeding it with your personal pipelines to optimal health. Let me know if I can help you figure this out. We have so many wonderful resources here in Ann Arbor to call upon. Be your best version of you!

Mention this article for a complimentary consult with Dr. Profera.. Contact Dr. Profera for educational events in the Ann Arbor area.

Owner and Founder of PROJUVU MD Aesthetics and Lifestyle Medicine in Ann Arbor, MI BEMER Independent Distributor www.projuvu.com / 1.844.PROJUVU / drprofera@gmail.com FaceBook business page: www.facebook.com/projuvu/

September 2019 | 41

Letting Go of the Days

by Madeleine Forbes 42 | The Brick Magazine

W

e try so hard to capture time—to hold it fast in schedules and calendars. We assign our days the productivity we believe we are entitled to: this deadline, that goal. Each minute, a ticked-off task. Each day, an accumulated trophy cabinet of habits and rituals.

And yet, time eludes us. Well, perhaps I can only speak for myself here. However good my intentions, however impeccable my planning, I invariably find myself defeated, at some point, by its slippery ways. An hour swallowed

by Facebook, or another inexplicable slippage of the perfectly-balanced productivity schedule.

I’m slowly coming to respect the fact that my days develop a mind of their own from time to time. To embrace, even, the mystery that makes up the years of my life. Their wayward tendencies, the mishaps and wrong turns which define them; the ultimate futility of all those watched clocks and counted seconds.

After all, time’s nothing if not inconsistent. It took a genius to prove its relativity, but it takes a child to grasp it.

A slow webpage loads in seconds that last for years…an interminable torture. Centuries drag by. The circle spins.

That long planned-for vacation, gone in the blink of an eye. Wait…it’s THURSDAY? And in the big picture, time refuses to sit neatly where we leave it. Years, decades even, tumble effortlessly from our grasp. Memories shrink and vanish. I’m pretty sure my twenties took place during a six-month whirlwind of lost weekends and desk-bound days. There are whole years I’d struggle to recollect beyond the vaguest of details.

So why does that one car ride when I was six years old—kicking the back of the seat, humming along to a cassette—stick so vividly in my memory? Why can I remember, word for word, the conversation we had on the back porch that time, and the way my tummy flipped when you said the words I didn’t want to hear?

In memory I gain perspective on the stretch and goo of events. And lately, though perhaps it’s futile, I’ve been trying to tilt my head and see that flow from within it. To appreciate that some days are slow and others fast; that a moment might remain with me for weeks, ringing like a tuning fork, while others are best flung into the wind and forgotten.

I’m trying to pay attention to the pace at which the sand is falling through the hourglass. To immerse myself in the moments and attempt to cultivate an appreciation for their texture. I’m aided by this new path I’m stumbling on—rural life, and days shaped not so much by schedules as by the non-human world surrounding me. The seasons and the weather, the animals and birds.

So much of farm time is shaped by things we can’t predict.

The date of the last frost, the temperature of the hottest day, the direction and speed of the wind when a wildfire starts in a nearby town. The spring morning when the little bantam hen will decide it’s time to settle down and brood a clutch of eggs, and how many of them will hatch into balls of primrose fluff. The readiness of the first seedlings to poke their slim green tips from the compost; the day the zucchinis decide to flower; whether it rains when the grape blossom is out, or gets suddenly cold as the fruit’s trying to ripen.

At first, the lack of control gave me palpitations. It asked of me a level of surrender I was unaccustomed to. I like to know when things will happen, to be able to prepare. It reminded me of waiting in the last weeks of pregnancy— the absurdity of having no idea whether each day would be one when I’d rise and waddle around the house, cooking and reading and humming to myself, in mundane limbo, or undertake the most demanding physical trial of my existence so far and bring a new human being into the world.

How could no one be able to tell me when labor might begin? How could the process be so unpredictable? I know not everyone experiences that ripple of surprise; I consider it a privilege, to birth spontaneously. And yet my own resistance to it shocked me, just as the wait to conceive had felt irrationally unfair.

Where we surrender control to mysteries outside us, we bump up against our egos, that need to time and pace the world to our own liking. Personally speaking, I think I’m better off for it, though at the time I’d growl the opposite is true.

Frustrating as I find it, the farm is softening me, slowly.

I’m learning to accept that what doesn’t work this year might come off better next. I’m adjusting my horizon to accommodate a lifetime of things to learn and techniques to practice.

September 2019 | 43

And perhaps because the details of each day are things we can’t predict, I find myself uniquely soothed by those we can. The time of the sunset, the swell of the moon, the growth of the fruit on the trees. The rhythm of solstice and equinox, the local saint’s days and festivals. Frameworks and rituals within which the chaos is contained; markers in the dance between knowing and not-knowing.

And so, each day must somehow be allowed to flex, to make space for what is happening then and there. The endless flow of items to be mended and fixed, parts to be sourced for the truck, fences to be repaired and sick animals to be tended to.

Given that I have the luxury of only being a part-time farmer, I am able to keep foot in a very different world.

One where my to-do list doesn’t depend on whether or not it’s rained, or whether slugs have eaten the cabbages.

In the world of business, after all, we like to think we have a little more control over what’s happening. We diligently set quarterly goals, enshrine activities in calendars, plan and predict our profits. And life would certainly be more challenging if the dear editors of this publication weren’t able to rely on their writers to submit work in time for appraisal; if our dentists were unable to confirm appointment times; if grocery stores closed on whims.

But the big things in life remain out of our control. The hurricanes. The diagnoses. The accidents of fortune or fate—the person who shows up to the date when you’d sworn you’d delete the app at the end of the week.

44 | The Brick Magazine

The chance conversation with the book agent; the serendipitous roommate at the conference.

Cultivating an appreciation for, or even just a tolerance of, the things we can’t predict is a practice I’m finding increasingly helpful. Our world moves fast. Extreme events of one sort or another seem to be increasing; our everconnected society flings one thing after the other at our poor, frazzled nervous systems.

We can learn to practice a little surrender, now and then.

Perhaps to leave our downtime unaccounted for; perhaps to leave some things to spontaneity. To allow our instincts to emerge, when we decide whether or not to decline an invitation; to resist looking at the clock as the very first thing we do each day.

Time might yet become a friend rather than an enemy.

A succession of infinite moments, rather than an everdecreasing commodity. Something to be savored. Sunk into. Shared.

Madeleine Forbes is a writer, walker, and unapologetic neglecter of her inbox. Born in London, she left city life in 2014 to start an off-grid life in the hills of central Portugal. She’s founder of The Seasoned Year, an online project to help us deepen our connection to seasonal cycles. Most recently she’s exploring a new response to the climate crisis, rooted in the cycle of the year and our craving for deeper connection. You can sign up for free Letters from the Land and follow Madeleine’s blog via her website; or follow her on Instagram or Facebook.

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September 2019 | 45

WOMAN ON THE STREET

The Story System

by Stella Orange

I

â&#x20AC;&#x2122;m teaching a storytelling class for high school students in San Diego via videoconference. Our goal is for them to discover the stories in their lives that are worth telling in their college admission essays. This is my second year doing this work, and it gives me a chance to tune in to where young peopleâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s heads are.

I usually spend my days working with adults, helping them discover the stories in their lives that are uniquely theirs

46 | The Brick Magazine

to tell through their work and business. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s intimate and potent work; I get to sit beside a person and invite them to tell me, in no particular order, what matters to them, and how that came to be.

When I listen to a person speak, I can hear where they come alive. In this group of teenagers, there is life around a different kind of leadership. The vastness of outer space.

The gifts of family. Community activism and helping the

younger generation (this, from a seventeen-year-old) recognize their contributions. Climate crisis. Decisionmaking that values all voices. These are the seeds from which their stories will grow.

For practical, linear-thinking people, these narratives may seem insignificant. Artsy. Even frivolous. But I see it differently. Through my eyes, each human is a collection of stories, wound together around clusters of themes. If you look from a certain angle, these narratives appear almost anatomically, pumping, sliding, and moving like a body’s other systems—circulatory, respiratory, immune.

I’m convinced that a person’s story system plays a vital role in their overall health and life force. When we notice the story lines running like electrical wires through us, not only does it give us the coordinates for where we are; it also puts us in the kitchen of our future, with the ingredients on the counter. We can taste what’s there, tinker, experiment. Add a little spice here, a bit more butter there. We can put things together consciously, differently, in ways that please us. We can choose, inasmuch as any one person can, what cake we intend to bake.

It also activates our ability to connect with and move other people in meaningful ways.

I don’t go around telling people this, mind you. That would be weird. Instead, I talk to teenagers about the themes that the University of California application will ask— leadership, community, creativity, overcoming challenges— and to adults about crafting their marketing message. But inside these eminently reasonable conversations, I’m also doing this less obvious work of helping folks hook their words back up to their hearts.

That sounds more corny than I’d like, but hey, it’s true.

Because here’s the thing: schools teach us how to write to inform, to argue, to analyze, to explain. But strangely absent from the curriculum is practice revealing what matters most to us, or expressing ourselves from a singularly personal, emotional, and real spot.

Which is why my work, with both teenagers and adults, is to help them hone their B.S. detectors, and distinguish between when they are writing or saying the thing they think other people want to hear and when they forget all that, and just say whatever is theirs for the saying.

How do we find this spot within ourselves? How do we shift our attention from expressing what we think is expected, impressive, or called for…and instead let the soft pink grub worm inside ourselves step up to the microphone?

I don’t have an answer. But my best guess is twofold: with practice and conversation. We need to exercise our expression muscles. And often, for many of us, those muscles need a little rehab. We aren’t used to writing to express ourselves. Our schools and jobs have largely trained us to write using the passive voice, without “I-statements,” without adjectives, to simply report the facts, to be objective, to exclude emotion. And all this has come at a cost to our inner lives. To the words we use to convey what is going on inside us. To our fluency in reporting who we are and what matters most.

And, let’s face it, we live in a time when there is a whole lot of words…a whole lot of noise…a whole lot of people broadcasting their opinions and making word-shaped sounds all around us…but much of it is phony. Contrived.

Empty.

Which is why it’s so important for me to help teenagers and adults alike find the stories and the words that are connected to something deep and real within themselves.

The time has come to decolonize our writing. We need to oust the hierophants—the authority figures of tradition and convention—from our language centers and imaginations.

We must play around with what comes out when we endeavor to express ourselves in our own voices. Practice helps. Little by little, we move the old institutions out, and rearrange the furniture of our minds in new ways.

And even though writing can be a solitary business, we must build community around us as we do it, gathering around us others who can listen and care as we talk about what we are noticing and discovering as we go.

Because this is wild and uncharted territory we are heading into. And our stories are too marvelous to keep all to ourselves.

Stella Orange is a copywriter and co-founder of Las Peregrinas, a business advising and marketing service company. Find out more about her work at www.lasperegrinas.org

September 2019 | 47

The Power of Purpose

by Kellie Mox

Photo by Silver Thumb Photo

48 | The Brick Magazine

Nothing will divert me from my purpose. – Abraham Lincoln

I

’ve always kept a journal. My diaries fill a box in the spare closet, the words inside them revealing teenage heartbreak and adventures. As I grew, I graduated to journaling electronically, and while some of those floppy disks are gone, I still have many musings from the past at my fingertips. I got lost recently in some of my writing from over a decade ago, and I was surprised to find myself moved by the familiarity of my words.

When I came to coaching sixteen years ago, following my master’s in public health, I knew I’d found my calling.

This work of connecting deeply with others and being a catalyst for growth and change was completely aligned with my passions, values, and purpose. But I felt sidelined after the birth of my children, unaware of my own flaring chronic illness and the health issues underlying their challenging infancies. I was called to mothering and to the hard work of healing, so I paused my coaching. At the time, it felt like a detour, like the vehicle carrying me where I so clearly wanted to go had been hijacked. It wasn’t what I’d envisioned.

In the throes of healing personally and navigating life with small children, a part of me forgot that this detour was a necessary piece of my journey. I eventually realized it was a gift that could lead me back to my work—a much richer version of my work. When I re-read my old journals, it brought this to light: how all the lessons I was learning then are echoes of the lessons I’m learning today, but on a deeper level. Even during the hardest times, I was still in alignment with my purpose. The whispering words of my younger self solidified the knowledge I have today that nothing can divert me from that purpose.

I believe we all have a purpose. The important question is, what is that purpose? If we don’t know our purpose, we might not recognize the nudges from the universe that propel us along its path. We may not see how something that seems like an obstacle is really guiding us closer to our work. The challenges, the pain, the stuff we do that feels out of alignment—these “diversions” are actually all essential. You know that saying, “If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will take you there”? I believe that if you do know where you’re going, so many roads can take you there.

Purpose Defined Simply put, purpose is the reason something is done or created or for which something exists. This includes the collective “Why are we all here?” question and the individual questions of “What is my work or what are my gifts? How do I share them with the world?” I believe the answer to the first question is to discover and live in alignment with our purpose. We’re all here to do our unique work in the world. The answer to the second question, though, can only be found inside of you.

Having a sense of purpose is different than your actual purpose. However, things that bring you a sense of purpose may guide you to your purpose. While mothering my children and coaching women both give me a sense of purpose, they are not my purpose. My purpose, crafted over a decade ago, is to create and nurture meaningful relationships that mutually empower and foster living fully from one’s true essence. Being a mother and a coach allows me to live in alignment with this purpose.

Why Does Purpose Matter?

Research has shown that having a sense of purpose is related to increased psychological well-being and can help people cope with stressful life events. Specifically, purpose in life has been inversely associated with symptoms of depression and appears to be important in predicting future health and mortality. Epidemiological studies also suggest that higher levels of purpose in life are linked to lower cardiovascular risk, lower cortisol levels, and lower inflammatory factors, which are linked to several health conditions.

Beyond the scientific data, we can intuitively understand that having a sense of meaning and direction in our lives fosters resilience and cultivates connection with ourselves and others.

What Is Your Purpose?

Identifying your passions and values is a starting point for illuminating your unique purpose. When I work with clients, I use a variety of exercises to help them draw

September 2019 | 49

• • •

What is the difference you long to make?

Where do you feel a sense of calling?

What do you stand for?

No matter our approach, we must be willing to dive deep and go beyond the constructs of our socialization and upbringing. What is really true for you, versus what is true for your family of origin or the culture you were raised in? This can be challenging to tease apart, but lead to transformative results.

Staying Connected to Your Purpose

Photo by David Iskander

out this knowledge from within. Powerful questions, visualizations, and structured interviews with loved ones are some of my favorite tools. You can start by asking yourself questions and journaling your answers.

Some ideas: • • •

What activities or situations make you feel most alive?

What do you care so much about that it gets you fired up?

Where do you choose to spend your free time and money?

The key to identifying passions from questions like these is in eliciting emotion and energy and in going deeper into the essence of your answers. For example, if attending concerts makes you feel alive, what is it about concerts that does this?

Building upon these answers can help you clarify your values as well. Values are a person’s judgment of what is important in life. By looking for themes across your list of passions, you can see commonalities in the underlying experiences. For example, my passion for self-discovery, sharing good food, and connecting authentically with others have a common underlying theme of deep connection. This represents a core value in my life that informs my purpose.

While our passions and values are the foundation of our purpose, we can also explore purpose through questions about the impact we want to have in the world:

50 | The Brick Magazine

Remember, we learn the most about our purpose just by living!

Doing things that don’t align for us, or allowing ourselves to simply be where we are and learn from whatever phase of life we’re in, even if we feel stuck or uninspired—that’s all okay. The painful time in my life that felt like a diversion was the greatest gift. If I didn’t live that, I would not have the same insights to offer others that I do today.

It’s worthwhile to seek clarity of our purpose, as this gives us meaning and direction in our lives. And it’s important to remember that, even in the most challenging times, when our lives feel like one big diversion, we can still stay connected to that purpose. It’s joyful, often challenging work, but this is where the magic happens! When you have clarity of purpose, the universe conspires to propel you along, and nothing can divert you.

I can’t know all that life might offer me, but I do know that I’ll keep on learning my lessons, and that my clarity of purpose will continue to provide me with that meaning, direction, and sense of connection. And I’ll keep journaling, because in twenty years, I imagine that the words I write today will reveal myself to me all over again.

Kellie Mox catalyzes revolutionary healing for women through powerful conversations and whole-health mentoring. She is passionate about authentic, meaningful connections—to the self, others, and the world—and believes that healing flourishes when we strengthen these connections and embrace our wholeness.

Kellie is a certified coach and a student of homeopathic medicine with a master’s in health behavior and health education. She works with women virtually and in-person from her home base in Ann Arbor, Michigan.

Website: www.kelliemox.com Instagram: @kelliemox Facebook: www.facebook.com/kelliemoxcoachingandhealing

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Dr. Lisa Profera www.projuvu.com 1-844-PROJUVU drprofera@gmail.com None of the statements in this ad have been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA). They are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. None of the statements should be construed as dispensing medical advice, making claims regarding the cure of diseases, nor can this product prevent or cure any disease state as an FDA registered General Wellness device.You should consult a licensed health care professional before starting any health protocol or any health device such as BEMER, especially if you are pregnant or have any pre-existing injuries or medical conditions.

Results may not be typical, nor are they a representation of what you could experience. Representations may be based on the experiences of several people and you may not have similar results. I am an Independent BEMER Distributor and I am paid by BEMER when I sell BEMER products. Individual results could be biased as a result of financial incentives.

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