BRICK
THE
JUNE 2020
MAGAZINE
NO WAY! ROSÉ? HEAL OURSELVES, HEAL OUR PLANET IF PLEASURE WAS A SPORT
PLUS! THE COMPASSIONATE CLASS OF 2020
Meaghan Hughes THE PATH TO AN ENHANCED LIFE THROUGH SPORTS
ANN ARBOR
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THE
BRICK MAGAZINE
CONTENTS
MAY 2020
Publisher • Sarah Whitsett
Assistant to the Publisher • Tanja MacKenzie
Art Director • Jennifer Knutson
Copy Editor • Angelina Bielby
Marketing Director • Steve DeBruler
Online Creative • Bridget Baker Cover Photographer • Heidi McClelland
Contributors >>
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Tiffany Edison Yvonne Heath Beth Johnston Beth Johnston Sharon Lawlor
Freddi Baker Monica Brancheau Liz Crowe Jen DeGregorio Morella Devost
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Kellie Mox Marilyn Pellini Lisa Profera Maria Sylvester Marji Wisniewski
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8
No Way! Rosé?
12
The Path to an Enhanced Life Through Sports
18
Drink When You're Thirsty
22
The Compassionate Class of 2020
26
If Pleasure Was a Sport...
30
Heal Ourselves, Heal the Planet
32
The Gift of Hockey
36
We Are Meant to Rise: Lessons from Roller Skating
40
Neighborhood Team Spirit
44
The Mind of an Athlete
46
For Personal & Planetary Thriving Surrendering: The Art of Finding Deep Peace
50
Local Theaters Struggle During COVID-19
54
Confessions of a Golfaholic
56
Re-framing the Ugly Stuff
Welcome to Booze 101 with
Liz
No Way! RosĂŠ? by Liz Crowe Photo by Kevin Kelley
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H
and a red wine that’s 90% of the juice with 100% of the skins and whatever else that will result in a nice, strong, definitely not rosé.
As I sit and ponder the relative importance of talking about rosé wines at this particular moment in the world’s history, I’m feeling both stir-crazy and anxious. But you know what? At the same time, I also believe that things will improve, so both while everything is nuts and after, you owe it to yourself to learn a thing or three about the “other wine” — that is to say, not red, not white, but pink.
“Rosés get a bad rep, for no reason other than the fact that some of the more mass-produced white zins and other sweet, pink-colored wines are considered to be of low quality. But places like Sutter Home have produced these sorts of palate entry-level wines for years with much success, so I certainly never fault them for that,” says Brian.
ello and happy Shelter-in-Place Day Number… who knows?
Let’s start with a few basics. Firstly, rosé is not a grape. It’s a style of wine, different from reds and whites. To back up even further, you should know that most grapes, with very few exceptions, create a clear or colorless juice — even grapes like cabernet sauvignon. The color of the resulting wine comes from something called anthocyanins, which are water-soluble pigments that will produce red, purple, blue, or black colors depending on their chemical make-up. Think blueberries and blackberries, and you’ll get an idea of an anthocyanin-rich food. In wine, anthocyanin reacts with other components like tannins, acetaldehyde, and pyruvic acid to form the pigment color. The process of maceration — wherein the skins, seeds, and stems from the grapes are soaked in the clear juice — draws out all of these compounds, including the color. Oh, and yeah, that whole grape-stomping thing? That is technically a maceration process, albeit a kind of icky one. Oh! Also, fun fact: lambic beers, absinthe, and Campari also use maceration as part of their process. Whew. Okay. So now that we know enough about the process stuff, it stands to reason that one way to make a rosé wine is to only allow the maceration (exposure of the clear grape juice to the skins) to occur for a few hours or days, as opposed to the time it takes to create a deep red cabernet, which allows the skins and whatnot* to remain in the juice all the way through fermentation. There are a couple of other ways, according to Our Favorite Wine Guru, Brian Hay. “You can blend a red and white wine, or you can use the bleeding process.” Bleeding? Yes, bleeding. Relax, it’s a French term; it’s a process called saignée, which takes 10% of the macerated red wine juice out and puts that in a separate tank for fermentation. This gives you both a nice rosé in one tank
And really, I get this, on a beer level. I gave up judging people on what they drink years ago. Producing a large amount of booze at the same level of quality every time (see: “the Bud you drink today tastes exactly the same as the Bud you drank three years ago”), selling it to the masses, and continuing to make money doing so takes skill, organization, and committed fermentation specialists. This in turn makes money that can be spent on large advertising budgets. No arguments from me on that. Back to the process for a minute, now that we have reestablished the judgement-free nature of this column. You can make a rosé wine from pretty much any grape. Brian is of the opinion that a grape that is low in acid and tannin levels makes for the best option — pinot noir, grenache, and zinfandel being among them. In fact, the lower the acid, the dryer the result. Many French versions are crisp and “off-dry,” which is wine talk for “not sweet but not dry either,” which is Brian’s preference for this style. He’s not inclined to give us specific recommendations because quality varies depending on if you want your rosé sweet or not, not to mention where you live and what wines are available to you, but he will say that if you can get your hands on one made in Oregon, you will be a happy drinker. If you prefer French, look for rosés from the Loir Valley, Tavel (Southern Rhône), and Provence. “When it comes to rosé wines, you have to keep an open mind and listen to your local expert. Not all rosés are available in every part of the U.S. so relying on your wine steward or wine shop owner is key.” Decide if you want it sweet or not, too, because that’s where large variations occur, along with color. Remember when we talked about how any wine’s color (red, white, otherwise) comes not from the juice of the grape but
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from adding the skins and stems back in to allow them to soak in that juice? The light pink to salmon to near-fuschia you get when you’re facing that enormous shelf full of rosés is a direct result of which skins were used and how long they sat in the juice. Therefore, it stands to reason that there will be a wide variety of color on that pink spectrum. Personally, I can highly recommend Rendezvous Rosé from Carol Shelton Winery. It’s available in the Ann Arbor market, so when you’re shopping and want a delicious, deep pink option made by bleeding half of the “pink” juice off of red Carignan grapes a full three days after crushing them and fermenting the result cold like a white wine — ask your local wine shop owner to find that one. The process gives the Rendezvous not only a compelling color in the beautiful bottle (yes, I am a sucker for packaging), but also a distinct strawberry fruitiness that is delicious served cold. I also tried and can recommend a solid
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Michigan-made rosé — the Etcetera Rosé from Chateau Grand Traverse, made from a combination of pinot noir, gamay noir, merlot, and cabernet franc. A word about “White Zinfandel” (a.k.a. “Cougar Juice” in Texas, according to our aforementioned wine expert Mr. Hay). First off, it’s a rosé, one made from Zinfandel grapes. It’s very sweet. It’s also very popular. That does not make it bad (or good), but simply a fact. Many people new to wine start on the sweet end of the spectrum as a gateway and end up elsewhere. Some don’t. No judgement. As for pairings, for best results, Brian recommends keeping things light to match the style of rosé wines. Chicken or fish, poached or grilled with some peppery greens, would make a lovely summer meal with your choice of sweet or off-dry rosé. On the other hand, you might consider going all in with something else. “One of the best meals I’ve had is a local BBQ brisket, consumed at the Fall Creek
Vineyards, in the hill country of Texas, alongside their 100% grenache (grape) rosé.” Just in case you were confused about what food to pair with what wine… go with what you love. I mean, just last night, after a long day of whatever during Michigan’s pandemic lockdown, I consumed a delicious and creamy, yet delightfully perfect, Rice Krispies Treat alongside a pinot noir. Okay, I consumed three of them, and the whole bottle. An apt pairing for the times, and zero judgement. Enjoy life. Drink more wine. That’s the gist. If you like it pinkcolored, I hope you gained some assistance from this, your monthly column dedicated to helping you drink better and judge less.
*The term “whatnot” is used as a Serious Winemaking Term only here, and nowhere else. It is not recommended that you use it too much, lest you be considered a wine snob. Amazon best-selling author, mom of three, brewery founder, craft beer marketing consultant, and avid sports fan, Liz Crowe is a Kentucky native and graduate of the University of Louisville currently living in Ann Arbor. She has decades of experience in sales, public relations, and fundraising, plus an eight-year stint as a three-continent, ex-pat trailing spouse, all of which provide ongoing idea fodder for novels and other projects. www.facebook.com/lizcroweauthor (fan page) www.twitter.com/ETLizCrowe
June 2020 | 11
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The Path to an Enhanced Life Through Sports by Marji Wisniewski
I
“met” Meaghan Hughes, Associate Director of the Ann Arbor Sports Commission, over a Zoom call six weeks into the Michigan Stay Home, Stay Safe order. Being a mom myself, I noticed that it looked like Meaghan was taking the interview from inside her closet. I didn’t mention it, but after a few moments of introductions, Meaghan revealed that that was exactly where she was! I think it’s something any parent can relate to, as we try to find space in our home where the kids won’t find us for a few minutes. But Meaghan admitted that she loves the extra time home with her family and, like many of us, is finding a way to make it work. We dove right into our topic of discussion: what it’s like to work in the male-dominated world of sports. We talk about the power of mentorship, hard work, and passion for what you do in life. Meaghan shared with me how sports have continuously enhanced her life, and how she hopes to share that with others.
I Am Not Athletically Gifted, But I Am Grateful for the Gift of Sports Growing up, I was always interested in sports and being an athlete. However, I turned out to be a really good team manager, a role I played for my middle school volleyball team. Thankfully, I found my love of running when I joined cross country and track in high school. The experience allowed me to focus on being my best and improving my own PRs while building relationships with teammates. Participating in team sports really gave me a true sense of belonging. I carry this philosophy of the power of teamwork with me today — of building each other up instead of tearing each other down.
One of our partners at the Ann Arbor Sports Commission, Epic Races, holds an all-female triathlon every June — the Tri Goddess Tri. The Tri Goddess Tri celebrates women of all abilities, inspiring them to reach new heights of health and set new fitness goals by training for and completing a triathlon. I loved the mission of this race and participated in it myself. The sense of belonging with all these female athletes was amazing. Even as I rode my bike and women in their 80s were passing me, I cheered them on as loud as I could! Finding my place with sports throughout my teens was vitally important as I was dealing with a difficult homelife. Growing up, my mom worked hard as our sole provider.
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My father died when I was 19. At that time, I was a student at Eastern Michigan University working at Applebee’s to pay for college without applying for any student loans. I didn’t resent the hard work; I felt powerful in my self-reliance, and that still lives in me today.
I Fell into a Job, But Made a Life At 23, shortly after graduation, I began my career as a receptionist at Destination Ann Arbor. I thought it would be a good foot in the door that would lead to other things. After a year, I was promoted to sales in their sports department. With my help in growing the sports market, Destination Ann Arbor formed the Ann Arbor Sports Commission. I continued in sales at the commission until I achieved my most recent position as Associate Director. I had found my home in sports! The job has been a lot of learningas-I-go, but I’ve welcomed that challenge. In a predominantly male industry of organized sports management, I’m proud that I’ve cleared my own path. But just like in sports, no matter how self-reliant you are, it takes a team. As the longest-serving staff member with the Ann Arbor Sports Commission, it’s been rewarding to work directly with sports events planners and sports organizations to bring them to Washtenaw County. Since I began at the Sports Commission, we have welcomed over 500 sports groups to the Ann Arbor area — many of them for K-12 athletes. Youth hockey tournaments, Junior Olympics,
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wakeboarding competitions, collegiate track and field — you name it, we’ve done it.
Improving Life Through Sports Participation and Spectatorship The mission of the Ann Arbor Sports Commission is to improve quality of life through sports for all of Washtenaw County. The Commission was formed to attract amateur sporting events to Washtenaw County for the economic impact, positive national exposure, and recreational enhancement for its residents. The Commission acts as a conduit on behalf of the region in the bid efforts for all ticketed and participant-driven sporting events. We host both competitive and recreational events so that all members of our community can enjoy the great athletics and facilities Washtenaw County has to offer. We have a well-established history of NCAA joint partnerships in bid developments for a variety of indoor and outdoor sports, as well as partnerships with club sports in bidding events such as club hockey championships, national figure skating, and lacrosse, to name a few. The Sports Commission also has a long partnership with the University of Michigan. Thanks to its world-class
sports facilities, UM has a rich history of hosting major sporting events on campus, such as the Amateur Athletic Union (AAU) Junior Olympic Games field hockey and swimming events, the NHL Winter Classic, International Champions Cup (ICC) soccer matches, and NCAA tournaments, regionals, and championships.
It’s Easy to Choose Ann Arbor The great city of Ann Arbor offers some of the top athletic venues in the country with affordable and convenient lodging, dining, shopping, and entertainment for sports groups of all sizes, no matter the participants’ ages. So why bring your sporting event to Ann Arbor? •
It's only 20 minutes away from the Detroit Metro International Airport
•
It's a top dining destination in the Midwest; with over 300 restaurants in the area, you are sure to find something to please everyone’s taste buds
•
It has a unique and historic spaces for one-of-a-kind events
•
It has access to world-class athletic facilities throughout Washtenaw County
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June 2020 | 15
What can the Ann Arbor Sports Commission do for you? •
Planning and research assistance
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Facilitation of hotel proposals and room blocks
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Site tours and networking event recommendations
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Operations and event management
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Sponsorship and volunteer help
Fulfilling the Dreams of Young Athletes In 2011, I worked with the Chelsea Chamber of Commerce to bring a cycling event for the Special Olympics to the Chelsea Proving Grounds. Athletes of all ages attended, and it was one of the most positive, powerful events I’ve ever had the privilege to be a part of. Since the first event, it has grown into the Fall Games that now include kayaking, golf, flag football, soccer, and softball — which take place throughout all of Washtenaw County. In 2019, over 2,100 athletes competed! I was reminded of the precious time I spent on the track in high school when we supported the Girls on the Run organization last year. The Ann Arbor Sports Commission sponsored their annual 5K race last year. Girls on the Run reaches girls at a critical stage, strengthening their confidence at a time when society begins to tear them down. Underscoring the important connection between
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physical and emotional health, the program addresses the whole girl when she needs it the most. I love their message of support for all girls and look forward to the day that my daughter, Gracie, can lace up and join their group.
Even the Self-Reliant Benefit from Mentorship
“One of the greatest values of a mentor is the ability to see what others cannot see and to help them navigate a course to their destination” – John C. Maxwell Being a female leader in the male-dominated world of sporting events has not always been easy. At times, it can be hard to be taken seriously. I have found that being confident, finding and using your voice, and fostering great relationships is the best way to break through. Two of the many things in my life that have made me stronger are CrossFit (proud member at Joust in Ann Arbor) and mentorship. I credit my increased self-confidence to my mentor at the Lansing Sports Authority. He’s been doing this for a lot longer than I have. When starting out in this
business at 23, I wanted to find someone to push me to do things I thought I wasn’t capable of doing. I’ve been able to call him with any questions I have, and he finds a way to answer them in a manner that always builds me up. He encourages me to push forward through my doubts. I’ll consider it a success if one day, someone calls me their mentor. I want to help build people up, make them believe in themselves, and help them down whatever path they chose.
Leading Upward I was recently appointed to the Board of Directors for the Sports Events and Tourism Association (sportseta. org), one of the industry’s most trusted resources for sports commissions and destinations. Since 1992, our promise has been to deliver quality education, ample networking opportunities, exceptional event management, and marketing know-how to our members, and to protect the integrity of the sports events and tourism industry. We work to provide tools and support for destinations around the country that are hoping to bring more sports to their areas. It’s an incredible and far-reaching non-profit organization! The Sports Events and Tourism Association, or Sports ETA, started the Women’s Summit three years ago, and through this I’ve gained new relationships with strong women in the industry around the country. The power of this summit is that you can talk about issues that women face, such as being a working mom or other things not normally discussed at a work conference. As I’ve said, I believe it’s important for women to lift each other up, and this conference certainly supports that. At last year’s Women’s Summit, I was honored with the Rising Star Award by the Sports ETA for my commitment to the organization and service on committees. With their support, I look forward to moving onward and upward in the industry.
Family and the Future Of course, being honored at the summit was rewarding to me, but being a mom to Gracie (6) and Maxwell (4) is what I’m most proud of. Most days, I feel confident in the job that I’m doing as their mom, but I’m also definitely learning as I go!
So, what’s the key to my work/life balance? My supportive husband, Eric, who’s a partner in life and helps to balance out the logistics of running a household with two working parents and two young children. During the Michigan Stay Home, Stay Safe order, Eric and I have tag-teamed our efforts. Each of us works when we can and supports the other as we go. Both kids are now homeschooling; we’ve been doing lessons at the kitchen table. For now, I’m focusing on the many exciting groups coming to the Ann Arbor area in the future, including the NAIA Competitive Cheer and Dance Championships and the NAIA Women’s Golf Championship, both in 2021. And just to let you know, we always need volunteers at the Ann Arbor Sports Commission! We’re constantly looking for sports fans that want to get involved. The amount of work that goes into putting on a sporting event is tremendous. If you want to be a part of an event in Washtenaw County, what better way to do that than to volunteer? There are many kinds of labor to choose from as we host local, regional, and national sporting events. To learn more about the Ann Arbor Sports Commission, visit annarborsports.org. You can also keep up-to-date with the Ann Arbor Sports Commission on Instagram and Facebook at @annarborsports. I’m so fortunate to live and work in such a wonderful community, and I’m eager to orchestrate the next opportunities for our athletes and the wider community. In the meantime, you can find me running the trails or area sidewalks of Ann Arbor as I prepare for my first full marathon later this year — even if it ends up being virtual! With a passion for marketing that started as a young girl, Marji Wisniewski created her own marketing and communications organization in 2017. As owner of Blue Zebra Marketing Solutions, she helps local and regional businesses, and non-profits tell their story through branding, graphic design, content creation and PR; focusing on customized solutions for each client that are more unique than a zebra’s stripes. A Michigan native, Marji received her undergrad from Western Michigan University and master’s from Wayne State University. When not working you can find her gardening, doing Pilates, listening to podcasts, and spending time with her family and two dogs.
June 2020 | 17
Drink When Youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re Thirsty by Lisa Profera, MD
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I
t seems logical, yet there’s a lot of confusing advice out there regarding proper hydration and electrolyte replacement when exercising. When I was at a CrossFit Health seminar last summer at CrossFit Headquarters in sunny southern California, the founder of CrossFit, Greg Glassman, put it very simply: Drink when you’re thirsty, don’t drink when you’re not. Thirst is one of our strongest survival instincts. We can ignore hunger for a period of time, but it’s more difficult to ignore the urge to drink. Our brains tell us to drink when receptors in our bodies sense a relative lack of water (higher osmolarity). When we’re exercising and sweating, we lose water and electrolytes. If we don’t have access to fluids, or if we’re exercising for a long period of time, our kidneys produce a hormone (anti-diuretic hormone) that helps our bodies conserve water (by making less urine) until we’re able to rehydrate. The balancing of fluids and electrolytes in our bodies is a simple, sensitive system; all we have to do is listen to the cues. Over the last three decades, the sports drink industry took this concept and ran with it. Prior to 1990, athletes would “recover” by drinking fluids and eating food. Along came Gatorade, who blasted our TVs and magazines with images of sports superstars sweating profusely, drinking their new sports drink — implying that it gave them a competitive edge. Electrolyte drinks became very popular and flooded the market. People started consuming them all the time as a regular beverage, instead of just in the context of exercise.
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The problem with this is that many of these drinks are loaded with sugar, too much salt (when you’re not sweating), artificial flavors and colors, and calories! They aren’t much better for you than soda drinks. It’s no surprise that many sports drinks are produced by companies that are owned by larger soda companies, such as PepsiCo. Most of the research done on the need for sports drinks is biased or flawed. According to the sports drink industry, athletes are often unaware of how dehydrated they are. They recommend drinking at least 40 oz of fluid every hour of sports participation — that’s five 8-ounce glasses of liquid per hour! This fluid intake guideline disregards body weight or the athlete’s feelings of thirst.
June 2020 | 19
Overhydration can be very dangerous, even leading to death in some athletes. This condition is known as exercise-associated hyponatremia. Our bodies have reserves of electrolytes it can draw on if needed. Truth be told, in most circumstances — even if we exercise for several hours — our bodies can correct for the loss of water and electrolytes pretty readily just by listening to our own drive for food and drink. There’s a ton of salt added to many of the processed foods we eat, meaning that most of us don’t need more salt that what we already consume. That being said, if you choose to run a marathon in Death Valley during the summer, you may need some help. Carl Heneghan and his associates at the University of Oxford’s Centre for Evidence-Based Medicine did an analysis of the published research done in the last several decades. “As it turns out,” he writes, “if you apply evidence-based methods, 40 years of sports drinks research does not seemingly add up to much.” Humans and animals have managed to stay hydrated for tens of thousands of years (and millions of years, for many organisms). If you take your dog out for a run, do you give him/her some Powerade or water afterwards? No, of course you don’t. According to a consensus statement published by the American College of Sports Medicine (ACSM) in 1996, athletes should be drinking fluids constantly, even when they aren’t thirsty. The ACSM had received financial support from Gatorade, by the way. Constant drinking can lead to overhydration, which can have serious health consequences. Hyponatremia, or abnormally low sodium concentration in the blood, can occur when a person drinks too much water. Hyponatremia can cause confusion, seizures, coma, and death. The condition known as psychogenic polydipsia, or psychogenic water drinking, is usually seen in mentally ill patients. Most people with healthy kidney function and normal blood sugar levels are able to adapt well to water and electrolyte loss. The sports drink industry leads us to believe that the only path to true rehydration and recovery is to drink their products whether we’re thirsty or not. Kelly Anne Hyndman, a leading expert on kidney physiology, writes:
“The problem with this model of hydration is that it overlooks basic physiology. It turns out your body is highly adapted to cope with losing multiple liters of fluid, especially during exercise. When you exercise, you lose fluid and salts through sweat, and that translates into a small change in what’s called your ‘plasma osmolality’ — the concentration of salts and other
20 | The Brick Magazine
soluble compounds in your blood. You need enough fluid and electrolytes in your blood for your cells to function properly, and this balance is tightly regulated by a feedback loop.”
the vitality of skin, hair, and nails. At only 10 calories per 10-oz serving and two grams of carbohydrates, it’s a much healthier choice compared to Gatorade (70 calories, 18 grams of carbohydrates per 10 oz).
I’m not saying that all sports drinks are bad in all situations, but please don’t drink them as a regular beverage when you’re not exercising. Also be mindful of added sugars, artificial ingredients, and other synthetic chemicals in the drinks that you choose.
Trust the signals your body gives you. By all means, drink and rehydrate when you’re thirsty. Eat regular balanced meals to support your athletic endeavors, and consider natural sources of electrolyte replacement when appropriate.
There are some decent options on the market. One of my favorites is Superieur, named after one of our Great Lakes (with the French spelling). This company is committed to using all-natural ingredients such as pink Himalayan sea salt and ionic sea minerals from the Great Salt Lake — both rich sources of salts and minerals with a higher pH than plain old table salt. They extract all their flavorings and colors from natural sources, and they use stevia leaf extract as a natural sweetener. Their drinks also contain Vitamin C from acerola berry extract, as well as bamboo stem extract to provide naturally-derived silica to support
Lisa Profera, MD | Owner and FounderFounder of PROJUVU MD Aesthetics and Lifestyle Medicine in Ann Arbor, MI Expert Injector doTERRA Essential Oils Wellness Advocate BEMER Independent Distributor | CrossFit® Level 1 Trainer www.projuvu.com | 1-844-PROJUVU | drprofera@gmail.com FaceBook business page: www.facebook.com/projuvu/ Request to join my Closed FaceBook group, Dr. Lisa’s Essential Oils Forum: www.facebook.com/groups/1952063771691445/ Instagram: www.instagram.com/youressentialoilsdoctor/
Disclaimer: Please note that the information in this article or any of its references has been designed to help educate the reader in regard to the subject matter covered. This information is provided with the understanding that the author and any other entity referenced here are not liable for the misconception or misuse of the information provided. It is not provided in order to diagnose, prescribe, or treat any disease, illness, or injured condition of the body. The provider of this information shall have neither liability nor responsibility to any person or entity with respect to any loss, damage, or injury caused or alleged to be caused directly or indirectly by this information. The information presented is in no way intended as a substitute for medical counseling or care. Anyone suffering from any disease, illness, or injury should consult a qualified health care professional. These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA.
June 2020 | 21
The Compassionate Class of 2020
by Monica Brancheau 22 | The Brick Magazine
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nowglobes are serene until you shake them. The little snowflakes start flying everywhere, and just like that, everything changes. COVID-19 has turned our world upside-down; we’re in the same snow-globe setting, but the snowflakes are frantically flurrying in new directions. In the beginning of March, most of my time was spent getting ready to celebrate my high school senior. I rented a tent for a graduation party, made appointments at stores to search for prom dresses, and paid for a cap and gown. Then came March 12, and it all came to a screeching halt. That day was like watching one of my favorite dystopian fiction novels unfold on television. Every professional sport cancelled their season, major parks closed, universities closed, borders closed, etc. The following day, my kids took their last final at school and were told to gather their things because they weren’t going to be back for a few weeks. My daughter continued to hold onto hope that they would still go back, they would have their senior prom, they would have their graduation, they would have their senior all-night party. She would’ve had the rights and rituals that all seniors look forward to, regardless if you graduated in the ‘50s, ‘60s, ‘70s, ‘80s, ‘90s, or now. That flame of hope was extinguished on March 31 when school was closed for the rest of the year. As a parent of a senior, it’s hard to put into words the sadness of not seeing my daughter walk across the stage and get her diploma. I feel for her, but I’m not the one who’s 17. These 17-year-olds are grieving an incredible loss. June should have been their month. There should’ve been a grand celebration for the class of 2020. It’s vitally important to celebrate them and all they’ve achieved. I can think of no better way to celebrate them than by hearing from some of these amazing students from the class of 2020.
How are you feeling right now (as of April 6)? “I’m feeling a lot of anxiety. Everything is being played by ear and there’s no definite answers to some really important questions, so just having to go with the flow has
definitely left me feeling pretty anxious.” — Jordan Hunter “I’m feeling sad that I can no longer experience many lasts. Many experiences I looked forward to my whole school career were taken away from me with the possibility of it all being cancelled.” — Gabriella Williams “I am feeling pretty lost lately. It’s been hard to come terms with the fact that I’ll never perform with choir, theater, or Skyline Blues again and that I won’t have a proper goodbye with my friends from these last four years.” — Elena Garcia-Schroeder “I’ve been feeling very conflicted lately. Although I know being socially responsible through social distancing is very important, I feel frustrated that I’m losing so many important events I’ve worked for. It’s disappointing to have to miss out on graduation, graduation parties, prom, games, and quality time with my childhood friends before starting a new chapter of my life. I feel grateful that I’m safe at home, but I also feel powerless. It feels like there is nothing I can do to help with this crisis while confined to my home, and with a lack of certainty, I don’t know what the future will look like for me and how the rest of the year will pan out.” — Mia Henry-Fisher “I’m sad that I didn’t get to finish the year with the rest of my class.” — Ruby Cole “Right now, I’m feeling motivated. I have spent the last few weeks sad and disappointed as the world is enduring something unknown and scary. But I realized that wasting this time for me to ‘just be’ with my family and slow down is important and needed. So, I reached a point where I decided to change my mindset and make the best out of this time and use it better myself and others.” — Sydney Vigo
Do you miss school and your activities? “I miss lacrosse. I played all three years and was excited to play my senior season.” — Ruby “I definitely miss school activities, because it was place where I was able to see all of my friends and it created a sense of normalcy.” — Gabriella “I graduated early, so I was expecting my senior year
June 2020 | 23
Ruby Cole, Photographer: Ebba Gurney
Elena Garcia-Schroeder, Photographer: Marinda Fowler
at Skyline to be shorter than that of most of my peers; however, this choice was made with a plan to work fulltime to make the cost of college easier to manage. I am very extroverted and love my job as a server and host at Jerusalem Garden, so I definitely miss earning an income doing something I enjoyed.” — Mia “I miss school way more than I thought I would…it’s definitely become my home away from home and I miss getting to see all of my teachers and friends.” — Jordan “I’m most distraught about not getting play lacrosse one more time with the team I love.” — Sydney
Gabriella Williams, Photographer: Mary Kerkes
Jordan Hunter, Photographer: Ion Hordwedel
films and shows on Netflix, as well as made baked goods, cooked, and made some art to give to my friends. I spend a lot of time with my family, and am thankful I have them during this time.” — Mia “I’ve been trying to focus on my online classes, which is hard as a senior already committed to college. I’ve been picking up new skills and knowledge that I can whip out at parties after this is all over and be like ‘Oh this? I learned this back in quarantine.’ So far I’ve been learning Hawaiian and embroidery. Both have been hard, but still pretty rewarding.” — Jordan
How are you spending your quarantine time?
“I’ve been trying to work out, stretch, and read every day. I’m trying to accomplish things that have been on the back burner for a while, like cleaning out my closet and desk, doing projects in my room, and college stuff.” — Gabriella
“I’ve been catching up on sleep, researching the college I’m attending next year, cleaning out my room and reorganizing, playing games with my family, and trying to keep in touch with my friends.” — Elena
“I’ve taken time to do a lot of the things I usually don’t have time for, like reading, painting, and cooking. I’ve also been able to catch up on sleep and spend lots of time with my family.” — Ruby
“I’ve been spending a lot of my time outside, walking my dogs, going on long bike rides and runs, and also playing board games, being with my family, and taking a liking to new things I’ve never done before, like baking.” — Sydney
What message would you want the world to know?
“I spend my time now mostly being pretty lazy. I go on a long walk and stretch most days, but I don’t have a lot of motivation to be productive, because everything I worked for previously has been cancelled. I’ve watched a lot of
24 | The Brick Magazine
“Stay inside your house and socially distance yourself! It’s important that we all take these efforts now in order to prevent further spread of the virus.” — Ruby “I want everyone to know even though we’re all sad about the things we’re missing out on, these things can and most
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Mia Henry-Fisher, Photographer: Ebba Gurney
Sydney Vigo, Photographer: Will Brinkerhoff
likely will be rescheduled, but a pandemic can’t be pushed back, and so right now we just need to focus on doing our part and keeping up social distancing.” — Jordan “The students, especially in the class of 2020, are losing out on so much — a graduation, a prom, and so many other rites of passage. We need to allow grief during this time. But we also need to be grateful for our health, and continue to work towards the same things for those we love, and everyone in our communities.” — Elena “To remember that it’s okay to be scared, frustrated, and worried, but just don’t let those feelings consume you. We are all going through this unknown thing together and we will overcome it. But, until then, slow down, be present, and remember that your perception of this matters most. And in the end, we choose how we will come out of this, and I hope it’s stronger than we started.” — Sydney “I would like to tell the world what I tell my friends every day. It’s okay to feel frustrated, upset, and hopeless at times, but there’s a comfort in knowing we’re all in this together. Humans are a collectivist species and we need to work together and stay unified, especially during times of crisis. We live in a very competitive culture — from the emphasis of winning in sports and getting the highest test grades as kids, to politics and business as adults, this world has a way of pitting us against each other. Competition can be healthy and necessary, but in times like these, it’s crucial to put that aside, ignore our differences, and focus on what we all have in common: the will to live and make the lives of the ones we love be the best they can be.” — Mia
Arthur Murray Ann Arbor 5060 Jackson Road Ann Arbor, Mi (734) 995-9500
“I think these are unprecedented times that everyone needs to take seriously. So do your part: socially distance, make masks for healthcare workers, help out those in need. If we work through this together, the magnitude of things we can accomplish is far more. We will get through this together and we will overcome it together, stronger than we were before.” — Gabriella
These seniors came into the world after 9/11 and are now graduating high school during a pandemic. They are facing anger, grief, excitement, and trepidation. Regardless of their losses, they are rising above those feelings together to sacrifice for the good of our world. They are going to take these life experiences and change the world forever. I look forward to watching them impact our earth, government, economy, and families. They will be utterly transformational. Hats off to the Class of 2020!
A mom of four who has had multiple careers and harbors a passion for dance, Monica Brancheau is a Michigan native and graduate of the University of Michigan who then never left Ann Arbor. She has decades of experience in working with children’s issues, from education to non-profit work in teaching in urban settings and non-profit management, marketing, and fundraising. When she’s not working, you can find her gardening, reading, writing, listening to music, and spending time with her treasured family.
June 2020 | 25
If Pleasure Was a Sportâ&#x20AC;¦ by Maria Sylvester, MSW, CPC
26 | The Brick Magazine
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f pleasure was a sport, would you practice it?
To get good at most anything takes practice. Sports are one example of this. Many of us eagerly take this challenge on, especially if the sport we are interested in playing really matters to us. We commit time, energy, and focus to developing and enhancing both our muscles and our skill levels. Dedicating yourself to practicing and mastering a sport you value feels wonderful as you witness your talent and endorphins grow exponentially. The art of experiencing and cultivating deep pleasure in your life offers similar delicious rewards. Especially in this time of the horrors of COVID-19 and global upheaval, when our nervous systems have been rocked to the core, one way back to home to yourself — to grounding and regulating body, mind, and spirit — is to focus on what will make you feel good. We must tend lovingly to what brings us joy. We have a responsibility to gently work with ourselves, doing whatever we can to release the painful, mindnumbing states that can grip us in times of acute stress. These states, for instance, of emotional blunting or emotional overload cause us to pull away from pleasure and joy. Positive emotions, on the other hand, can favorably impact immunity, resilience, and one’s overall state of well-being. Just as exercise can trigger the release of morphine-like chemicals in the body that help diminish pain and lift our mood, so can cultivating activities that bring us pleasure. Sexually active people have fewer sick days — just saying!
Own Your Wanting First things first, then. You must own your wanting. Is it really is okay, many wonder, to go after that which you desire? Often we doubt or distance from this notion. Or we feel undeserving or selfish, especially when, for example, we know so many have suffered or are still suffering around the world. How am I worthy of happiness amid tragedy and despair? How are you not, I echo! Yet, it can be such a struggle. I believe it’s essential, however, to give yourself permission to want and to seek uplifting, comforting experiences. So ponder it. Consider what it is you crave or long for. Embrace yourself there.
Choosing, cultivating, and prioritizing pleasure can be challenging. It often necessitates digging deep, as well as pushing past long-held conscious or subconscious prohibitions. Many of us, it seems, grew up hearing fierce messages mandating self-sacrifice, self-abandonment, work-before-play, or attention on others-beforeself. Not exactly the most fertile emotional ground for harvesting pleasures. Fear not — the initial step in practicing this sport is simply imagining or day-dreaming about what would feel good or freeing to you. Notice where the energy rises in your body as you imagine possibilities. Stretch those joymuscles to full capacity. How often, really, do we stop and reflect on what would bring us pleasure? As a coach, I’ve discovered that for many of us, there is an abundance of unmined gold to be dug up when it comes to personal delights and fancies. So begin now! Launch an internal search. Set your sights high. Your well-being depends on it! Ask yourself, what is it that I long for? What is it that I really love? Take whatever time you need to figure this out. Then own it. Affirm it. Issue an exquisite stamp of self-approval on your discovery. Start small. Then imagine bigger and grander possibilities. Harness more and more pleasure in your life by awakening all your senses. Ask yourself what would be uniquely delightful in this moment? A nap? A bath? A bite of chocolate? The scent of lavender? A juicy burger? A lover’s caress? A quiet walk in nature? An intimate conversation? All of the above? Trust that by owning your desire for these simple pleasures, you are taking a step in the direction of feeling more alive, present, and whole again.
Now Practice After identifying and owning your wanting, allow yourself time to practice developing mastery of this sport. A rich sense of fulfillment is directly correlated with one’s capacity to significantly honor and seize opportunities to step fully into joyful experiences. Making a point of daily tending to practicing pleasure keeps us in touch with authentic positive feelings. Then just watch this familiarity and deep knowing of what you enjoy grow, as will your muscle-memory for it, through repetition. When we June 2020 | 27
Photo by Luis Quintero
can embody routines and rhythms that feel uplifting and regularly commit to practicing activities that bring joy, we open to our full humanness. Repeatedly and consistently staying aware of, and saying yes to, your desires is incredibly empowering. This kind of dedication spotlights our worthiness, offering so much more than fleeting moments of enjoyment that happen by chance. Setting an intention to infuse your days with pleasurable moments you have carefully crafted automatically lifts your life and spirit to new heights. You become all the more in touch with your heart and with what is truly significant and meaningful. So go ahead, flex those joy-muscles! As your positive vibes rise, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll feel Olympic-ready for whatever life calls you to endure. Pleasure graces and buffers us that way.
Meet Yourself Anew Just as athletes excitedly witness their strength, skill sets, and bodies transform as the result of hours of dedication and practice, so can you witness a rebirth or awakening of unique aspects of yourself as you open to the gifts of pleasure in your life. The uninhibited joy that oozes from experiences of pleasure helps temper harsh negative internal voices, calms us in times of stress, pain or sorrow, and serves as a soothing balm against negative external forces.
28 | The Brick Magazine
Pleasure moments are moments of high energetic vibration. If you keep yourself vibrating there, you become more in touch with your higher self and true nature. Your sense of struggle will lessen, your emotional availability will rise ( toward both yourself and others), your fatigue and lethargy will lift, and your sense of clarity, confidence, and hope will soar. In pleasure states, notice how you feel more self-aware, empathetic, creative, emotionally balanced, and more connected to yourself, others, and nature as a whole. Engaging regularly in pleasurable moments definitely helps them multiply. Pleasure breeds synchronicities as we notice the interconnectedness of it all. And so, my friends, meet yourself there. Unabashedly. Create and step into a flow of joy and positivity in this, your one, sweet, precious life! Maria Sylvester, MSW, CPC is a certified Life Coach in Ann Arbor, MI who loves empowering adolescents, adults, and couples to live from the HEART of what really matters to them so that they can bring their fully expressed, vibrant selves into the world. She has a special gift for helping women reclaim their feminine power, and embrace their radiant, sensual, sexy spirits. Their lives transform. They soar into their mid-life magnificence! www.lifeempowermentcoaching.com Instagram: @life_coach_maria Facebook: www.facebook.com/LifeEmpowermentCoaching
S P IN N ING T H READS I NTO
The fabric of our old lives is unraveling. Yet, somewhere deep inside, hope whispers of new possibilities. Weâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re being called upon to weave a new normal out of our old threads. Enjoy a Complimentary Coaching Session as a gift to yourself!
Together, we can spin those threads into gold. Maria Sylvester, MSW, CPC Life Empowerment Coaching, LLC 1785 W. Stadium, Suite 104 | Ann Arbor, Mi 48103 | 734.717.7532
www.LifeEmpowermentCoaching.com
June 2020 | 29
Heal Ourselves, Heal the Planet
by Kellie Mox
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with suggestions. Yet when I did this search, none of the articles I found mentioned the idea of taking care of our own health as a way to take care of the planet.
Many of us take care of the planet by some combination of limiting single-use plastics, avoiding factory-farmed meat, gardening and composting, carpooling, recycling, and installing solar panels. A Google search of “ways to fight climate change” reveals numerous articles overflowing
This struck me, because I believe the health of our internal environment — our bodies, hearts, and minds — has a profound impact on the health of our external environment. That is, human beings and the environment are intricately interconnected. Not only does our physical presence have an impact on ecological balance, but also the quality of our physical sensations, emotions, thoughts, and beliefs impact our behavior, which in turn affects the natural world.
eople across the globe are increasing their focus on the environment, and rightly so. The change in global climate patterns, referred to as climate change, is concerning. Mother Earth is home to plants, animals, and of course, humans; but it’s also a living, breathing being in and of itself. It, as much as any of us, deserves to be cared for and nurtured so that it can heal and flourish.
30 | The Brick Magazine
Interconnected
A New Perspective
Certainly, most people understand that the opposite is true — that the quality of the environment has an impact on human beings. Beyond the obvious examples of air quality and toxins in our drinking water or food, research shows that environmental factors like sunlight exposure, noise pollution, weather, and the built environment all have an effect on health outcomes. But when I searched for information about how our personal health affects the health of the planet, strangely, I turned up few results.
Gardening, recycling, car-pooling…our behaviors can have a direct impact on the environment. But our decision to engage in these behaviors is driven, in part, by the quality of our inner environment — what we feel, think, and believe.
I don’t know why this concept is such a rare idea. Maybe humans have lost touch with their sense of interconnectedness. While many indigenous cultures and spiritual traditions honor our connection to nature, Western industrialized culture doesn’t typically revere the natural world as the giver-of-life that it is. I’m reminded of Joaquin Phoenix’s words during his recent acceptance speech at the Academy Awards:
I think that we’ve become very disconnected from the natural world, and many of us, what we’re guilty of is an egocentric worldview — the belief that we’re the center of the universe. We go into the natural world, and we plunder it for its resources … I believe interconnectedness can be viewed scientifically, spiritually, and ethically. We can understand our interconnectedness simply by witnessing the impact of behaviors like pesticide use on the health of plants, animals, and humans. We can remember that we are made from the same elements and atomic particles that make up the natural world; our bodies are sixty percent water, after all. Women’s cycles ebb and flow with the moon when they’re not chemically or structurally altered. We can also understand interconnectedness as a spiritual experience, a sense or a knowing that we are one with each other and the environment. Some of us may feel this connection in our bodies when we’re in nature, or feel a sense of disconnection when we’ve been removed from it. We can also understand interconnectedness as an ethical concept: we, as consumers of nature’s bounty, are morally responsible to the ecosystem that we are a part of and benefit from. Maybe as our sense of interconnectedness grows, we can better understand how our own healing plays a role in fighting climate change.
Consider these examples. We might not care about the environmental impact of our skin care, makeup, or diet supplement choices if we’re thinking habitually self-critical thoughts. If we feel too depressed or unwell to shop for and cook a locally-sourced, whole-food meal, we may instead choose the less environmentally-friendly fastfood options. If our body is suffering from chronic pain or fatigue, we’re not likely to bike or walk to work, opting instead to drive a car. If we believe, as Phoenix suggests, that we’re the center of the universe rather than a coconspirator in its evolution, we’re not likely to care about how our plastic use affects the environment, let alone change our consumption of single-use plastic. To be clear, our decision to engage in planet-healing behaviors may also be driven by systemic challenges. That is, disparities in our healthcare system create a barrier to health behavior change for those who don’t have the same resources, support systems, or knowledge as more privileged groups. If healing ourselves helps to heal the planet, we need to make it easier for all people to tend to their physical, mental, and emotional health. It’s clear that the environment has an impact on our health and that our choices have an impact on the environment. But if we don’t look at how and why we make those choices, we’re missing an important piece of the puzzle. I believe that in order to heal the planet, we must also heal ourselves. Walking into nature and remembering our interconnectedness may be one place to start. Kellie Mox catalyzes revolutionary healing for women through powerful conversations and whole-health mentoring. She is passionate about authentic, meaningful connections—to the self, others, and the world—and believes that healing flourishes when we strengthen these connections and embrace our wholeness. Kellie is a certified coach and a student of homeopathic medicine with a master’s in health behavior and health education. She works with women virtually and in-person from her home base in Ann Arbor, Michigan. Website: www.kelliemox.com Instagram: @kelliemox Facebook: www.facebook.com/kelliemoxcoachingandhealing
June 2020 | 31
The Gift of Hockey
by Beth Johnston 32 | The Brick Magazine
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ports have always been a part of my life. My dad was a high school history teacher who coached JV basketball and football. I grew up as the oldest sibling and only girl in my family, with two younger brothers. Both played a variety of sports, including junior football, baseball, gymnastics, wrestling — just to name a few.
But sometimes you lose. Maybe the other team is just better than yours, or your team has an off-day, or not everyone is doing their part. Losing is part of the game. It becomes a lesson in and of itself. If your team has bonded and become a family, your teammates have your back whether you win or lose.
Girls’ sports were limited. I was a cheerleader in high school. We cheered for most of the high school sports at Pioneer High School in Ann Arbor. One of my favorites to cheer for was hockey. One time, I was talking to my friend and not paying attention to the game. A puck came flying off the ice and hit me in the eye. This happened right before the homecoming dance, so I had a beautiful black eye for the dance. This was the very first lesson hockey gave me: always pay attention!
My oldest son decided he wanted to play goalie. In this position, you are the hero or the heel. As a parent, I always felt ten times worse when my boys were hurting. My heart would hurt for my son when he lost a game as a goalie and he felt responsible. But moms are moms, and kids know we’re always going to be in their corner; it means so much more when the support comes from a friend or coach. I can’t tell you how many times my boys’ teammates could say or do something to make them feel better after a loss. It was heartening to watch these boys lift each other up, kid around, and stick up for each other. Now, mind you, they were boys, so there were times tempers flared, but it was all part of learning how to become a team player.
Fast forward to my life as the mom of three boys. I really didn’t have any choice but to be immersed in sports. My boys were involved in travel soccer and hockey. My oldest two boys took the travel hockey route, my youngest did the travel soccer route. How we got to hockey, I’m not sure, but I do know it changed our lives on many levels. My oldest son started mini-mites in 1996 and he still plays today. Hockey requires commitment and perseverance. There are early morning practices where you get up before dawn, pack up the gear, and head to the rink. When the boys were little, this often required helping them get all their gear on too. Fortunately, little boys don’t stink as much as big boys do, but my boys always hated when it was my turn to take them to a game or practice because I couldn’t tie their skates tight enough. Hockey is a very physical game. You have to work hard in practice and in games. You can’t give up because your team depends on you. Your team becomes a family. Hockey has a lot fewer players than football, so your teammates really depend on you to do your part. If everyone is playing as a team, it becomes a force to be reckoned with. There are five other players out on the ice with you each time you go out for a shift. If you play your position, pay attention, “see” the ice, and hone your stick and puck handling skills, everything runs like a well-oiled machine and you win.
When hockey teams travel together, the bonding extends to their families. We traveled to Toronto, Chicago, and cities all over Michigan for tournaments. You really get to know people when you travel with them. We all had the common bond of attending the hockey games of our boys, but this extended beyond the rink as we ate, slept, and entertained each other on road trips. I have such fond memories of our hockey road trips. I’ve learned that hockey is a small world. We became so entrenched in hockey in our house that when the USA NTDP (National Team Developmental Program) for hockey came to Ann Arbor in 1997, we became a host family. We hosted a senior in high school from Sheboygan, Wisconsin the first year and a junior from Alaska the second year. This enhanced our hockey connections and hockey travel. In 1998, my ex and I traveled to Bern, Switzerland to watch the USA team and the player living with us at the time. Our hockey family grew with the addition of these young men who lived with us and the other billet families. Having a hockey family proved especially important in 1999 when my ex and I separated. I became the housing coordinator for the USA NTDP in Ann Arbor, placing
June 2020 | 33
players with local families and checking in with them to make sure all was going well. In 2001 my divorce became final, but a custody battle ensued. My boys and I moved from Ann Arbor to Pinckney. In addition to being a single mom of three boys ages thirteen, ten, and eight, I had a full-time job as a school principal in Pinckney and a part-time job with the USA hockey program. As you can imagine, life was stressful and busy. That same year, I was diagnosed with kidney cancer. My hockey family pitched in and helped in more ways than I could list here. They often helped me get the boys to their practices and games. If the boys were with their dad, I would still go watch them play. This wouldâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve been much more difficult without the support of many of the team families who would sit with me in the stands. My heart would begin pounding when I walked into an arena during and after my divorce. My ex and I had a very contentious and bitter divorce, which would often create a high level of discomfort if we were both at an event. There were always a few hockey parents who understood what I was experiencing,
34 | The Brick Magazine
Photo by Samantha Gades
and would come sit by me or invite me to sit with them to ease my anxiety. I will be forever grateful for this seemingly small act of kindness. I had become close to the coach of the USA NTDP, Mike Eaves, and his wife Beth when I was the housing coordinator. They watched our dog once when the boys and I went on vacation, they invited me to Thanksgiving with them when the boys were at their dad’s, and they checked in on me often, even visiting me in the hospital when I was recovering from my cancer surgery. Beth Eaves provided a lot of emotional support for me. She began sending me a Christmas gift every year, knowing that the boys were too little to get one for me, and every other year they were with their dad and I was lonely. I would go to USA games with her, and when her boys went on to Boston College to play hockey I would travel with her to games that were within driving distance. One of her sons, Patrick, went on to play professional hockey. Through my friendship with his parents, we became close. He and his dad have often offered the boys and me tickets to college and professional hockey games through the years. Now that Patrick is a dad, his kids refer to me as “Nanny Beth.” Divorce for me was often lonely and stressful; the Eaves family became one of my lifelines. I always felt included and cared about.
I guess the point of all of this is that being part of the hockey world has been a true gift in my life. Not only did it teach my boys many valuable life lessons, but we also learned as a family the true meaning of being part of a sports community. A community is a group of people who share something in common; our common thread was hockey. The strong sense of connection still gives me a sense of comfort, friendship, and moral support to this day. They say that it takes a village to raise a child; I’m glad mine was a hockey village.
Beth was born and raised in Ann Arbor, MI and currently resides in Pinckney, MI with her husband Dan. She is a retired elementary educator from Ann Arbor Public Schools (13 years) and Pinckney Community Schools 17 years). She has three sons from her first marriage (ages 30, 28, & 25), a daughterin-law, a new grandson, and three step-children. Using her luxury travel specialist expertise, Beth founded Orenda Travel. Our custom-crafted itineraries speak exclusively to families’ unique needs, passions, and sense of adventure. We believe that travel has the ability to change lives forever. www.orenda.travel www.facebook.com/OrendaLuxTravel/ www.instagram.com/orenda.travel/
June 2020 | 35
We Are Meant to Rise: Lessons from Roller Skating
by Sharon Marie Lawlor 36 | The Brick Magazine
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y twelve-year-old daughter has been involved in artistic roller skating for four years now. Every Saturday was devoted to group classes to learn new skills, moving up another level once she had mastered those techniques. That lead her to joining a synchronized roller skating competitive team called Jr. Precision after her first year. This was a brand-new team put together by her coach, Lawaun Modrich. Modrich has forty years of experience being an advanced roller figure-skating coach, and has been teaching at Riverside Arena in Livonia for much of that time. The previous Jr. Precision team had disassembled because the team members aged out at 16; so, Lawaun hand-picked new members from her Saturday morning classes. They ranged from 8-14 years of age, boys and girls. Working together as a group of 10-12 for an extra hour each week gave the kids a new set of skills to learn. Instead of working on their own skillset, they learned what it meant to work as a team. They were coming from different levels (my daughter was in Level 3 of eight at the time; now she’s in Level 8) and needed to work together to achieve the desired choreography. It was amazing to see how this group of kids came together. Even the coach was amazed at this, saying she’d never seen a team quite like this before in all her years of teaching! They became a family and cheered each other on. No one wanted to let the team down, so they each worked extra hard to perform as best as they could. Us parents were so inspired by them. We saw them compete for the first time locally, then regionally in Wisconsin, and then off to nationals in Nebraska. Most of them hadn’t ever competed, but they showed us that didn’t matter in the outcome. They placed second place both at regionals and nationals that year. The first-place team was from Ohio — a much older and more seasoned team that was rumored to have tryouts to be on the team and practiced four times a week. When our team won second place at nationals, all of us parents were crying and cheering for them. The team rallied around the coach with the biggest smiles on their faces. Against the odds, their passions shined, and they won! Skating is every bit a sport as any other. It takes skill. It
takes time. And it takes a massive amount of dedication, discipline, focus, vision, perseverance, and more. When our daughter reached a certain level in skating, my husband and I said we would take Level 1 skating Saturday morning classes for five weeks. Most of the time, the class is filled with very agile kids, just five years of age and older, trying out skating for the first time. When we took the class January-February 2019, there were many other adult couples taking it as well. There were five different skills we learned and practiced each week. This was not only about moving forward; there was jumping with all eight wheels off the ground at the same time, balancing off-center, bending at the waist with arms spread out like an airplane, squatting down knees together in a choo-choo with hands clasped straight out in front, going backwards, as well as marching forward. Being a bodyworker, I had such fears of injuring myself and not being able to perform my work. One of the parents on my daughter’s team mentioned that the first time she stepped out on the floor as an adult, she fell and broke her wrist! The first thing we learned in class was how to fall. I laughed as I typed that, reminiscing about how we deliberately had to fall on our bum, even when we didn’t want to. But there was a reason. Everyone falls while skating, no matter your level or expertise. If one falls “correctly” on the bum, your wrists won’t get injured as they would if you braced your fall with your hands. That’s a normal response, and it’s hard to train yourself not to do that! Coach Lawaun wants her skaters to realize that falls do happen, and that not only is it okay to fall, it’s expected. My husband likes to say, “We are meant to rise.” That pertains not only to the physical act of skating, but to our own lives when any mistake happens. “The most important life lesson skaters can take from this sport into adulthood,” says Coach Lawaun, “is the ability to recover from a mistake. The skater who can get up, smile, and continue like the mistake never happened will have an increased chance at success later on.”
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Falls happen and are expected in life. We’re meant to take incremental steps in learning new skills that build upon one another in life or business, just as in the skill levels in skating. What we learn on the rink floor in skating or in other sports has a lifelong impact on its athletes when out in the real world. Coach Lawaun states that her skating classes help participants develop lifelong skills such as listening, problem-solving, focus, discipline, goal-setting, teamwork, and leadership. She and all of her skaters carry these lessons with them into their daily lives. “The successful skater/student/entrepreneur learns to tune out the distraction and focus on what’s immediately in front of her,” Coach Lawaun continues. “In this case, it’s practice time. The skater who can tune out the world and think only about the skating task at hand will have an easier time in high school, college, and work.” Now practicing for 12 hours a week over four days, my daughter divides and focuses each day on what she needs to work on. In business, that would be considered group tasking, focusing on one particular task at hand. I can definitely see that being effective. When I was on the rink floor, I took off my glasses so I wouldn’t be distracted by the activity around me. I wanted to focus on what I was doing to bring all of my attention there. I saw the importance of learning step-by-step and going out of one’s comfort zone, too. If it were easy, there wouldn’t be growth. One needs to stretch in order to expand their comfort container — all while building confidence each time one succeeds where they didn’t think was possible. Pure potential is at our disposal. When we’re out on our own, though, it’s harder to stretch. Our ego wants to keep us safe; it wants to stay in the comfort zone. Coaches and mentors help us extend our muscles safely and effectively.
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I’ve definitely seen that with my daughter in her skating. I’ve seen how that has impacted her schoolwork, her friendships, and her eagerness to try new things. The more I challenge myself (with the help of my mentors and coaches), the more vibrant and fulfilling my life becomes. I can now glide easily around obstacles that used to blow me off course.
These lessons help me have a larger vision for myself. This is where the pure potential meets the expanded version of self, pushing comfort aside in favor of possibility. This creates a beautiful life and a beautiful impact on others. If you can say yes to yourself, it allows others to be able to say yes to themselves. And that, my friend, is what this life is about — lifting each other up.
Sharon Marie Lawlor is an intuitive healer who facilitates deep transformational healing sessions that empower women to live from the heart. She's been immersed in her field since 2004. Since the age of seven, the beauty of nature has driven her to want to create a better, more mindful world." COMBINE pghs 2 and 3. Next sentence: "Her personal mission is to reclaim her inner light by living a life that fills her soul. Sharon has an office in Ann Arbor, Michigan where she works with clients one-on-one. She is currently developing healing arts process videos that incorporate all of her wisdom so that she can reach a wider audience online. Instagram: www.instagram.com/tranquil.being Facebook: www.facebook.com/tranquilbeing website: www.tranquilbeing.com
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Neighborhood Team Spirit
by Marilyn A. Pellini 40 | The Brick Magazine
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rowing up in my neighborhood, sports were a big thing. All summer long, our moms shooed us out of the house early in the morning with one command: “Go play.” Even after school we went outside — not many kids back then had after-school lessons to attend — and homework was not usually given until middle school. I had a friend, Paula, who for three summers coerced me into forgetting games and sports and putting on plays with her. She was the writer, producer, director, and had the staring role, and I did whatever she told me to do. Being two years older, I guess she felt it her privilege. We put on our production mid-morning under the grape arbor in her tree-shaded yard. The arbor had cobblestone to use as our floor. No grapes could be seen growing anywhere, so we were able to adorn the latticework with flowers and scenery to enhance our script. Handwritten invitations were put into the neighborhood mailboxes or slots of those households with children, announcing our production at a cost of five cents for kids and ten cents for adults. A promise of a home-baked cookie and a cup of real lemonade would be an added draw, we believed. I guess the plays were not all that bad for the three years we produced them, or maybe the free goodies were the lure, but we always had a crowd. There were other diversions from the daily athletics, too. We could be found lying in the grass watching the clouds and describing the formations. If we had money, we’d walk to the local drugstore for ice cream, as they had a huge soda fountain with stools that swiveled. We might even press the tar bubbles at the edge of the street for a bit of sticky fun. When we were little we rode our tricycles, and later our two-wheelers (if you were lucky and your folks could afford it). Mine was a blue Schwinn, and I guarded it with my life. I used to ride it down a pretty big hill, “no hands, no feet.” That was the doubledare thing to do. I saved my pennies all year long so that each spring I could buy a new rubber ball — and it was dearly needed, because we literally bounced the life out of it. A game called ten-zees was a favorite. Number five required you to swing your leg over the ball while bouncing it as high as you could and catching it before it touched the ground. At the end of the day, there was usually a game
of Seven Up, and just before dark set in we would play hide and seek (real scary with the dark shadows creeping up!). We knew our names would soon be shouted from the windows, calling us home. There was hopscotch, and a game the boys played with the jackknives that they always carried in their back pockets. A circle was drawn, and they would flip their knives to see who could get it closest to the center of the circle. The girls were allowed to watch, but never to touch the knives. We would bring out our dolls and exchange doll clothes to see how ours would look in some new duds. We peeked in the window of the downstairs neighbor, as they had one of the first TV sets. The woman of the house had it on all day as she did her chores and didn’t seem to notice or care about our peering in. We all gathered there at five o’clock when she turned on Howdy Doody for her young son. No one had a hockey stick or a basketball and hoop, but most of us had a speedy Flexible Flyer to slide down the “little hill” when you were a small kid and down the “big hill” when you got to be eight or nine years old. Your goal was to slide down the hill and then along the edge of the street to see if you could get to the Nelsons’ house. That only happened if it was a bit icy, though, and that gave you real bragging rights. All winter long there were rough, tough snowball fights. First you had to build your fort, and then on a very cold night you had to pour water over it so it would freeze into a solid wall of ice to hide behind once a barrage of snowballs was thrown simultaneously by the kids across the yard. Each team always declared they were the winners. In the fall, we played our own version of football because the girls had to be allowed to play, as there were simply not enough boys in our part of town. After a certain age, though, the girls’ mothers would no longer let them join in, as it was rather obvious the boys just wanted to get their arms around us and toss us to the ground. Our best-loved sport, however, was baseball — not softball, but actual baseball. My friend Anne grew up in a family of three girls. Her dad sold Spalding sporting goods. They were the best-equipped girls for miles around. Kids came from all over, as every day was a day of baseball. We had our own little field right across the
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street from my house. It was nice and flat, and once we wore away the grass it had the distinct outline of a diamond. Each day, Anne and her sisters hauled down the bases, balls, and bats of different sizes and weights, and we were in business. You had to provide your own glove, try it bare-handed, or maybe borrow one from the kids who were up at bat. We were definitely not two teams of nine, but somehow we managed to get up a pretty good game. Someone might have to cover the outfield alone, or bat twice, but we had our own system to keep it evened up and make it fair. Those summers long ago, playing sandlot baseball with the neighborhood kids, boys and girls together, gave me a love of the game. I liked watching professional games on TV with my dad, and once in a while he took me to the stadium to watch our local team play. That was such a treat as it always included hotdogs, soda, and peanuts. Now my ball games consist of driving three hours many weekends in the spring and summer to watch my 14-year-old granddaughter play softball with her
travel team, Thunder. I go up on a Friday and stay at their house until Monday, and believe me, it’s worth every minute of the trip. Elizabeth is a tiny girl, but oh so powerful. She can pitch a ball 53 miles an hour, play shortstop when the opposing team is hitting to the infield, or play centerfielder when the other guys are hitting long. I have my own special chair with a nice thick cushion, as there are two to three games on Saturday and two on Sunday depending how many they win. With a cold drink in my cupholder and the rest of the family seated side-by-side, we’re all there for the duration.
Marilyn Pellini has recently published a grief book titled Dear Al, A Widow’s Struggles and Remembrances. Her other credits as a writer include recent articles in Brick Magazine titled “Memories in My Button Jar” and “Restructuring My World,” pieces in Westchester Parent Magazine, Bay State Parent Magazine, On The Water, Balanced Rock, and others. In May 2018, she took the first place prize in the NY State Federation of Women’s Clubs writing contest.
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The Mind of an Athlete
by Fredi Baker
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he world has been settling into a new normal during the pandemic that most of us could never have imagined just a few months ago. Many of us are sitting on the sidelines, watching and cheering on the heroes providing for everyone’s essential needs. But even if we’ve been staying at home and following the protocols of social distancing, sheltering at home, etc. we are still helping in our own way. While it can be discouraging and disheartening at times, keeping in mind the big picture of a healthier world can make a huge difference right now. As it is, some people are weathering the storm more successfully than others.
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For some reason, I’m reminded of the elite athletes in training for a major sports event, like a marathon or even the Olympics. They’re in in it for the long haul. What makes these athletes unstoppable in the face of setbacks, hurdles, fear, injuries, discouragement, and disappointment, I wonder? How can changing our mindset help us not only survive, but thrive going forward? Recently, I’ve been looking at things through the filter of a world-class athlete, even though I can only imagine what that would be like. I’ve watched runners year after year participate in the California International Marathon;
an obstacle is in their path. What characteristics, values, and principles help them keep their eye on the prize? Perhaps their strategies aren’t so different from ours. They still: •
play the game, even when the rules change
•
commit to a big, long-term goal
•
create and follow strategies — and get support — to deal with setbacks both large and small
•
take care of their bodies, minds, and spirits
•
stay connected to loved ones, even at a distance
•
stay positive in the face of adversity
•
are in it to win it
•
are patient
•
are unstoppable
Imagine how things could be different if we adopted the mindset of an elite athlete — how we could go beyond surviving and into thriving, no matter what’s going on in the world. Since June is usually a time of people coming together to celebrate graduations, weddings, the end of the school year, etc., there are plenty of opportunities for us to shift our thinking. Acknowledge that this year is different. Globally we have changed, and are finding new, perhaps untraditional ways to mark these occasions. The question is, how are we showing up every day? Are we patient, kind, compassionate, and positive? Like the elite athletes, you have a great opportunity to make a difference toward your goals, both personal and global, and so do I. Now is the time to dig down and find resilience, grit, perseverance, and compassion. We’re running our own races all the time; now more than ever, let’s help each other stay on track. my house was right at the 22-mile marker. Their determination and grit has always fascinated and inspired me. Closer to me, one of my knitting friends is a runner training for the Olympics right now, and the grace and perseverance she shows every day is truly remarkable. She has faced injury and recovery, and now she and all the other Olympic athletes have to come to grips with the 2020 Olympics becoming the 2021 Olympics. And yet, she remains committed to her goals. I can only imagine what it would take for a world-class athlete to meet their long-term goals, no matter how big
Fredi Baker is a Master Certified Coach who believes in the power of the creative process. For over 20 years, she’s coached people who are ready to break out of where they are and lean into their dreams, their vision, and their creativity. She helps them get inspired, focused, and motivated to live by their own rules and make a difference in the world. In her spare time, you will find her playing with yarn and needles — whether she’s knitting colorful, chunky wall hangings or designing shawls. Thus far, five of her patterns have been published, and she delights in seeing other knitters working with her designs and making their own works of art. Find her at fredibaker.com
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for personal
& planetary thriving
Surrendering: The Art of Finding Deep Peace by Morella Devost, EdM, MA
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ome years ago, as the dream of a particular relationship was slipping through my fingers, I wrote a poem of agony that started like this:
I know there’s a way to transcend this I can feel the soft edges of illusion Surrender, you say Surrender? Surrender… Surrendering to the pain; the hopelessness... The dream that will never come true The solo dance, like the woman tonight In the middle of the barn Witnessed Alone… It was the heart of the years where I desperately wanted to find a soulmate, get married, and start a family. I had met someone; it looked promising for a few weeks, and then it came crashing down. In one conversation about how the relationship wasn’t working, he uttered the word “surrender.” It made me want to vomit. Surrender to what? To the thing I least want? To being single? Surrendering is a bold, powerful action that makes us sick to our stomachs. So, if at this very moment you’re feeling queasy, or you have the urge to slap me as you read the word surrender… you might want to read on. When we have a visceral reaction to the idea of surrendering, it’s often because that’s what we need the most — to give ourselves permission to surrender. Think about something you really want to change. Perhaps a relationship that isn’t working, or maybe the fact that you’d like to have a relationship but you don’t. Perhaps you have a health problem you’d like to be free of, or maybe it’s your finances that are in not-so-great shape. Why exactly do we hate the thought of surrendering? We resist it because of what we believe it means. We think surrendering means we’re claudicating, we’re giving up hope. We’re settling for something we don’t want — and by doing so, we’ll never have what we truly want. The fighter inside us wants to keep fighting.
In the spring of 2019, I found myself yet again in the depths of surrender. I was watching both my marriage and my motherhood dreams dissolve. At 45 years old, it was pretty self-evident that once the marriage ended, I wouldn’t exactly go on the hunt for a baby-daddy. It was done. The dream for marriage and having a family… over. Yes, I can tell you from experience that sometimes surrendering feels a lot like death. Though poetically beautiful, it’s not typically pleasant. And the fact is this: there is an implied death in surrendering. We are letting our attachment to things being a certain way die, and our belief that we can control everything in our lives dies with that. So, we resist surrendering because we want to hold on to control; but in reality, we have to let go. It doesn’t mean that things won’t change — everything always changes, but it does mean that we let go of our expectation that they change on our terms. The fact that surrendering is a lot like death is precisely what makes it a powerful spiritual practice. The more we surrender, the more we allow grace to flow into our lives. The more we learn to die with grace. Tibbetan Buddhism pays a great deal of attention to death. They emphasize the value of meditating on death and the impermanence of all things. When we fully grasp that all things are transient, we more fully appreciate the sacredness of each moment and each thing. Sit with the impermanence of the thing you want to change for a few moments. Is it your relationship? Is it your health situation? Is it your finances or career? Sit with the reality that it will change, no matter what. Nothing is permanent. Furthermore, at some point, sooner or later, it will cease to be completely. Now notice that if you start to feel anguish or despair, it’s because you’re projecting the current moment into the future. You thoughts might sound something like “But I don’t want it to be this way forever,” or “I don’t want to die without experiencing x or y.” If this is what’s happening for you right now, stop. That’s a mental trap. Take a breath and come back to this moment. The future isn’t happening now. Surrendering is only about making peace with this moment. Right here, right now. All you need to do is look
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Photo by Priscilla du Preez
around you and see if you can surrender to this moment as you read this. Can you accept things as they are in this precise moment? Can you be at peace with the truth that all things will come to an end? When we fully accept the impermanence of all things, we begin to touch the depth of life everywhere, in every instant. We begin to accept all things as they are, no matter how imperfect they appear, and we begin to learn to be at peace with death. Which brings me to the deeper motivation behind this article today: humanity needs to make peace with death. Collectively, we need to accept death as a normal part of life. As scientific and medical advances have been made, we often hear expressions that reveal how many people want to believe they can “beat death,” and therefore come to regard dying as a failure, as a tragedy.
We can practice surrendering to the death of life in minute ways every day. We can contemplate the death of each day as the sun sets. We can release a page-turning novel as we come to the last paragraph. We can treasure each phone call with a loved one as if it were our last. This prepares us for the big losses, the big exercises in surrender. The reality is that as of this writing, it’s April 6, and we’re still in the early weeks of social distancing during the COVID-19 pandemic. We have yet to see what losses we will individually and collectively sustain. The more we surrender, the more we accept the impermanence of all of life, the more we will live and die with grace. And the deeper truth is this: when we surrender to both the small and big losses in our lives, we discover a deep, unending peace. That is the biggest gift of surrendering.
Sometimes big losses can certainly be described as tragedies. One family losing several loved ones at once is indeed a tragedy. It multiplies the grief and the magnitude of the void they leave. Or even an accident claiming the life of a child as a result of a relative’s error — it’s hard to call that anything other than a tragedy. And yet, that is not what most of us will experience in our lifetimes.
Morella Devost is a counselor helping her clients turn their deepest challenges into their greatest source of strength. After receiving two masters degrees in counseling from Columbia University, she became a Clinical Hypnotherapist, NLP facilitator, and Reiki Master. Morella is a VenezuelanVermonter working with people all over the world from her RVoffice as she travels the US with her family. She is the host of the Thrive With Morella TV-radio-podcast show.
The reality is that the majority of us will live through the normal losses that all humans face. We will all lose relationships. We will all have dreams lost to time. We will all lose our loved ones to death, unless we’re the ones to go first. And some of us will live through significant material losses. This is the nature of life.
www.youtube.com/morelladevost thrivewithmorella.com www.facebook.com/ThriveWithMorella Instagram: @Morellad Facebook personal: @Morellad1 Twitter: @More_Joy
June 2020 | 49
Elena Garcia-Shroder - In Les Miserables, Encore Theater (Senior at Skyline High School)
Local Theaters Struggle During COVID-19 by Jen DeGregorio
W
hen my now 12-year-old son Adam was just five years old, I took him to see the stage production of Pinoccio at the Riverside Arts Center in Ypsilanti. It was our first time attending a live show together, and I wasn’t sure if he’d be able to sit still through the two-hour performance. 30 minutes into the show, I glanced over at him. His mouth was open, eyes
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wide, and he was fully entranced. As we walked out of the theater, my shy little boy looked at me and said, “Mom, I want to do that.” Thus began my entry into the world of theater. A shy child myself, the theatrical world was entirely foreign to me. I had no idea how many hours went into each production,
fueled almost entirely by the infectious enthusiasm of the cast and crew. Now, seven years and numerous shows later, I’ve learned why theater is so important to our community. I’ve watched so many children, so shy in their auditions, find their voice and their sense of self by the end of a production with a community theater. I’ve seen adults who work full-time office jobs step on a stage and completely transform. As an outsider, it’s a powerful thing to watch. Like many small businesses around the country, theaters across Washtenaw County have been devastated by the impact of COVID-19. Not only has the shutdown taken a financial toll on some of the county’s professional theaters, but it also forced all productions from community theater to high school spring performances to come to a halt. I spoke to some of Washtenaw County’s seniors who were planning to be part of their high school’s spring seasons in their final performances before graduation. For some, missing their final curtain call is even more heartbreaking than losing out on their senior prom. Elena Garcia-Schroder is a senior at Skyline High School and has performed in more than twenty theater productions throughout Washtenaw County since she was in third grade. In the fall, she plans to double-major in musical theater and political science at Northwestern University. Despite the number of shows under her belt, she was most excited about what was intended to be her final stage appearance in her high school’s spring performance of The Little Mermaid.
Anna Withrow - In Fiddler on the Roof, Dexter Drama Club (Senior Dexter High School Senior)
The Dexter Drama Club (the theater group for Dexter High School) had been planning to end the season with their stage production of Clue. The show, meant to open on April 30th, would have taken place at the Dexter Center for Performing Arts.
“I was beyond nervous about the audition for Little Mermaid — not so much because of the actual audition requirements, but because of how much my last high school show meant to me,” said Elena. She had been dreaming of playing the iconic role of Ariel her whole life. When she found out that she did indeed score the lead part, Elena was ecstatic.
“The cast and crew were really looking forward to navigating the murder mystery on stage in a nine-room, three-story set,” said Martin Ruhlig, Theatre Director for Dexter Community Schools. He’s still hopeful that the show could safely be produced over the summer months, “if restrictions are lifted.”
Then, just weeks into her bliss, COVID-19 crashed into our world and Elena learned the show had been cancelled.
Among the cast and crew of Clue were four Dexter High School seniors, equally excited to be a part of their very last high school performance. All four agreed that being a part of the Drama Club positively defined much of their high school experience.
“I was absolutely devastated,” said Elena. “I cried harder than I ever have before. I still ache when I think about the losses of everyone experiencing this pandemic, but specifically artists during this time of quarantine. I can’t wait until this is all over. It’s hard to find motivation to create without the ability to collaborate.”
Angela Garcia, who had been in more than eleven productions with Dexter Drama Club, was cast as Miss Scarlet. She explained how DDC enhanced her school
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Bailey Scheller - Stage Manager, Dexter Drama Club (Senior Dexter High School Senior)
heard that Clue would not be performed in April as planned, Victoria, who was cast as Mrs. White, was crushed.
Angela Garcia - In Fiddler on the Roof, Dexter Drama Club (Senior Dexter High School Senior)
experience. “It gave me the opportunity to escape from the stresses of high school. It allowed me to grow individually, learn more about myself, and step out of my comfort zone.” Bailey Scheller, the production stage manager for the show, shared the same sentiment. “Between working costumes and stage management, I’ve been able to gain experience in leadership roles that I wouldn’t have gotten otherwise. Working as a technician on shows has made me realize that I want to continue theater in some form after high school.” The DDC president, Victoria Ward, attributes most of her friendships to being a part of the drama club. She moved to Dexter just before her freshman year and decided to be a part of the fall show. During that production, she made bonds with other students that hold strong to this day. When she
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“Every year, there’s been a sense of finality to the spring show,” said Victoria. “Everything seems so much more important, and it’s an opportunity for seniors to have their last hurrah before going their separate ways.” Anna Withrow, who was responsible for creating all of the hairstyles for Clue, added: “Every year, I have watched seniors receive special acknowledgement through the spring show and have an opportunity to say their final goodbyes.” She is still hopeful that the show will somehow go on. All four Dexter High School seniors are confident that if they are somehow able to produce the show over the summer months, the entire cast and crew would put aside other summer plans to make it happen. “I can’t imagine a better way to end my senior year,” said Anna. “I’m not ready to say goodbye to DDC just yet.” While the young seniors involved in theater are experiencing the emotional impact of missing out on yet another high school milestone, community and professional theaters are suffering as well. Dexter Community Players, a volunteer-run community
“Keeping up with Michigan executive orders and the need to keep our patrons, staff, and artists safe, our hope is to continue with ‘Paint Night’ in early June and run it as our summer show. This is a hope, but may not be possible,” said Katie Hubbard, Managing Director of Purple Rose Theatre. “It depends on when we can safely resume gathering in groups.” The financial hit to The Purple Rose is substantial. The loss of their spring production and possibly their summer production, as well as their summer “Rustic Rose” fundraising event, will cause the theatre to lose $300K-$600K. The Purple Rose has also applied for multiple COVID-19 emergency grants to help with continued expenses and was fortunate to have received a grant from the Chelsea Community Foundation to help with general operating expenses.
Victoria Ward - In Wizard of Oz, Dexter Drama Club (Senior at Dexter High School Senior)
theater group, were forced to cancel their spring musical Great American Trailer Park. Fortunately, for them, they lease space and equipment as needed, so they won’t suffer too much financially by the loss of the show. However, they’re not out of the woods. “The uncertainty of what will happen with COVID-19 makes it really difficult to plan the rest of the season,” explained Abby Briggs, president of the Dexter Community Players. “It typically takes three months of rehearsals, set builds, etc. to put on a show. It’s not just something that can happen overnight.” Other professional theaters, like Ann Arbor’s Theatre Nova, are taking a financial hit and hopeful for community support. In an email to their patrons, Artistic Directors Diane Hill, Carla Milarch, and David Wolber say, “Although it is unclear how long we will be shut down and how that will impact us financially, we are vigorously pursuing all means of supplemental support, through grants and donations.” Donations can be made through their website at theatrenova.org or via their GoFundMe page, where donations are being matched up to $1,000. The Purple Rose Theatre canceled the last three performances of its world premiere of “Roadsigns” by Jeff Daniels and had to stop rehearsals and building the set, costumes, and props for its spring production of “Paint Night” by Carey Crim.
“We also reached out to our loyal patrons and donors through email and social media to ask for help through donations,” said Hubbard. In addition, Purple Rose Theatre Founder, Jeff Daniels, set a $20,000 match to online donations that was surpassed by patrons and donors. My hope is, like so many other things we used to take for granted, that we re-enter the post-COVID world with a bigger appreciation for local theater. Theaters throughout Washtenaw County enrich not only the lives of those involved in bringing the story to life on stage, but to those of us in the audience, allowing us an escape — an opportunity to look inward and sometimes leave having gained an entirely new perspective on life.
In addition to serving The ChadTough Foundation as the Director of Communications, Jen DeGregorio manages PR/marketing and events for several non-profits across Washtenaw County. She began her career in newspapers in 1995 as a means to cover college expenses. After completing her degree at the University of Michigan-Dearborn in English, she continued to build a career in advertising with the Ann Arbor News. She was one of the first hires at AnnArbor.com and became an integral part of the management team. In 2012, Jen decided to start her own businesses, with a focus on helping small businesses and non-profits. She splits her time between her home in Dexter, MI and an apartment in NYC where her husband has worked for almost a decade.
June 2020 | 53
Confessions of a Golfaholic
by Tiffany Edison
I
remember the day I got hooked â&#x20AC;&#x201D; on golf. It was a picturesque morning, early enough that a fine dew had settled over the entire course with the sun just starting to rise. I was by myself. As I often do, when enjoying a solitary round, I teed up a second ball and watched it fly off the clubface, somehow ending up a bit further than my original drive. I was officially addicted. If you play golf, then you probably remember how you got started. Maybe your dad took you along from time to time, or perhaps you found yourself invited to participate
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in a work golf outing. It doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t really matter how the obsession starts, but it does. The trick is then how you deal with it during the winter months living in Michigan. I know people who play on indoor leagues at golf simulators throughout the city, and they take this version of the sport seriously. Technology has definitely improved over the years, and it has helped golf enthusiasts like me to practice indoors during the colder months. A vacation to a warmer climate is not always an option. No matter how I spend the off-season, I find that nothing compares the great outdoors.
golf shot, is somehow comforting. Nothing compares to the tactile feel of the club in your hand, especially when you are having the round of your life and a sense of calm takes over your body. As a designer, this gets me thinking about how to recreate the feeling of tranquility and the ability to tune into all five senses that I get on the golf course. I think of my bedroom when I think of the closest comparison in my house. The first thing I notice when I enter is an abundance of decorative pillows on my bed. I smell a luxurious candle burning, a treat from one of my favorite downtown stores. I can hear my children laughing from across the hall as they attempt to settle in for the evening. I taste a refreshing glass of sparkling water as I nestle in to read a book before drifting off. And I feel immense contentment in a space that I’ve created just for me. There’s so much more to be gleaned from the game of golf – if you’re paying attention. You can judge the character of others playing in your group, noting who “forgets” strokes, and who cracks under pressure. Golf is a very cerebral game. It’s not for the weak-minded. What many golfers mistakenly believe is that distance is paramount — or as my father would quip, “what separates the men from the boys.” The trick really, however, is ball placement. Where do you want to hit your next shot from? Put it there. Just as in life, you have to press on in golf, even when you feel like giving up. I have a mantra that I repeat aloud to myself (which never fails to annoy others in my group) when I find myself struggling: “It’s not about your last shot, it’s about your next shot.” This simple phrase pushes me on and it couldn’t be more accurate. I’m not sure if another sport involves all five senses quite like golf does. First, there’s the visual interest and beauty of the golf course itself, which always gets my heart beating just a little bit faster when approaching the first tee. There’s also something to be said for being surrounded by all that beautiful green grass, not to mention the exhilarating scent when it’s freshly cut. I find the sound of mowers and sprinklers in the distance particularly heartening. The sound of birds and the occasional “Fore!” that cuts through the air at the most unfortunate time, offering the perfect excuse for a poor
Tiffany Edison has been an interior designer since 2002, and specializes in both residential and commercial projects. She holds a Master of Social Work degree (ACSW) and utilizes interpersonal relationship skills on a daily basis with her client base, largely comprised of Ann Arbor and Metro Detroit residents. She enjoys residing in the city and the comforts of home. When she’s not fully immersed in client projects, you can find her on the golf course, a favorite pastime. www.birchdesignassociates.com Instagram: @birchdesignassociates
June 2020 | 55
Re-framing the Ugly Stuff
by Yvonne Heath 56 | The Brick Magazine
I
t’s so easy for me to think about all of my flaws — what’s wrong in my life, what isn’t working — you know, the same old story. I often wonder why that is. Why do we jump to negative conclusions with such ease? Why is it so easy to criticize ourselves and hard to accept a compliment? What do we have to un-do or un-learn? Why are we so hard on ourselves? Because we... •
Listen to others who are negative
•
Listen to our own inner critic
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Compare ourselves to others
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Try to be someone or do something we do not authentically love
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Look outside of ourselves for internal happiness.
Ok, let’s start here. These five points could represent years of negative talk and action (from ourselves and others) chipping away at our own self-worth. I will repeat this a million times, so hear this: we all have value, because we are, because we exist, because we were born. We do not have to prove that we have worth by what we do or what we have. We matter. Period. So, let’s reframe and reclaim. Let’s transform these five points into uplifting, supportive, wonderful, life-affirming paths to inner joy! Easier said than done? Yes, most of this stuff is. But we are worth it. Taking the next few days, weeks, or months, invite these statements into your psyche:
1. I choose to surround myself with cheerleaders. What are the voices of those in your circle saying? What is their message? Are they constantly complaining, criticizing, or putting you down? If you’ve heard these voices your whole life or and they make you feel like you don’t have value, you might not even notice them anymore. Or you just accept that their criticism must be true. Stop right there! You are who you are, flaws and all. Surround yourself with those who see your goodness, who lift you up. If those positive people are not in your life, find them. They are out there. Reach out. And be a self-help junkie like me!
2. I allow my inner critic, but listen to my inner coach. That inner critic can always find something wrong and focus on what isn’t right. She/he will always be in there, unfortunately, but you can choose to not pay attention! You can choose to say, “There’s that inner critic again,” and reframe immediately. You can transform that voice into your inner coach. Instead of sentiments like “I’m fat, I’m terrible for smoking, I failed so I’m not smart, I’m not pretty,” etc., be as encouraging to yourself as you would be to someone else. Say “I’m getting fit, I want to want to quit smoking (that’s what I say to myself when I wish I wanted to do something, but I’m not quite there yet), I know what I need to work on, I am beautiful,” etc. — no matter what! Let’s be kind to ourselves.
3. The only person I compare myself to is me. There’s always going to be someone who’s doing better than you are and someone who isn’t doing as well. The only person I compare myself to is the old me. I’m committed to being the best version of myself that I can be. And that is a lifelong journey and I accept that, finally. You don’t just get there and then not have to do any more work. You’ve got to keep peeling back the layers, the ugly stuff! Sometimes I feel like I progress amazingly, then fall right back down on my backside. And you know what I do? Forgive myself, then I get back to it. Don’t worry about the guy next door. Work with what you’ve got and be the best you!
4. I find a way to do what I love to do. It just doesn’t work. You cannot feel passionate and fulfilled if you’re spending all of your time doing what you’re supposed to do, rather than what you love to do. What fuels you? If you don’t know what that is, you may have squished it deep down inside, because it didn’t pay the bills or someone else thought it was ridiculous. The truth is, if you want to love life, you have to feel that
June 2020 | 57
passion, and it will help you feel good about the other stuff you have to do. Do you love to collect rocks? Sing? Dance in your living room? Is what you love to do weird? Who cares! I have a beautiful friend whose husband was in the dying process and she needed something positive to keep her grounded. Guess what she did? She took tap dancing lessons. That’s right! Weird? Some might think so. Who cares? Her husband eventually died peacefully. A few of us spent the evening with her some weeks later. She showed us her routine and we clapped and cheered! What makes your heart sing?
5. My happiness is up to me. The more we look outside of ourselves for happiness, the more we set ourselves up for failure. Most of the external things that are wonderful in our lives are temporary. The people we love move, change, and yes, die. The job or career we have will someday belong to someone else. The house we live in may not be our forever home. So, to attain that deep internal happiness, we need to rely on ourselves for that unshakable joy that only comes from truly loving ourselves.
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And we need our post — that internal or permanent something we can hang onto, no matter what, in times of despair. It could be your religion, spirituality, yoga, meditation, music, art — whatever gives you that connection. I love and celebrate unique weirdness of me — ADHD, cellulite, big feet, and all the rest! Find your post and hold onto it. The ugly stuff is always going to be there. We don’t have a choice about that. But we can choose what we do about it, what we listen to, and who we become. Considered by Ambassador Magazine as Canada’s Rising Star, Yvonne shares how we can teach people to just show up for themselves and others so they are empowered and resilient when grief and life’s challenges arrive. Grief is whatever makes your heart ache, whether it’s divorce, diagnosis, job loss, end of life — and now a global pandemic. Using heart and humor, she shares her message across Canada and the USA helping people of all ages learn to take care of themselves and others. She is an award-winning author of the book Love Your Life to Death and a celebrated TEDx Speaker. Yvonne has her own #RealLifeTalks television series and #IJustShowedUp radio program. Additional information and resources can be found at www.loveyourlifetodeath.com
with Maria Sylvester, MSW, CPC
Get Unstuck. Be Unstoppable.
Soar!
Life Coaching that helps you get to the HEART of what really matters! Enjoy a Complimentary First Session as a gift to yourself! Maria Sylvester, MSW, CPC Life Empowerment Coaching, LLC 1785 W. Stadium, Suite 104 • Ann Arbor, Mi 48103
734-717-7532 • www.LifeEmpowermentCoaching.com
/ letsgoblow 335 S. Main Street Ann Arbor, MI 48104
734.263.7610