The Brick Magazine - March 2020

BRICK

THE

MARCH 2020

MAGAZINE

TRAVELING THROUGH TRANSITIONS STAY HEALTHY ON VACATION IN HER SHOES

PLUS! READY, SET, DIY RETREAT

Jessica Ping

FINANCIAL FREEDOM AND SECURITY

ANN ARBOR

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BRICK MAGAZINE

MARCH 2020

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Morella Devost Kristen Domingue Allison Downing Jordan Tiffany Edison Beth Johnston

Fredi Baker Monica Brancheau Liz Crowe Jen DeGregorio

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Kellie Mox Marilyn Pellini Lisa Profera Maria Sylvester

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THE BRICK MAGAZINE makes every effort to provide accurate information in advertising, editorial content and placement; however, we cannot make any claims as to the accuracy of information provided by advertisers or editorial contributors and will accept no responsibility or liability for inaccurate information or placement. No content can be duplicated without the permission of The Brick Magazine, LLC 6 | The Brick Magazine

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CONTENTS Éire go Brách: Who Is This Guy & Why Are We Drinking So Much for Him?

12

Financial Freedom and Security with Jessica Ping

18 22 26 28 32

A Designer's Eye on London

36 38 40

How We Get from Here to There

42 44 48

Stay Healthy on Vacation

Traveling Through Transitions In Her Shoes Top Travel Trends for 2020 6 Ways to Travel Well with Your Gut

A Discovery in Tuscany Top 10 Reasons Why Packing Is Not My Friend

Ready, Set, DIY Retreat For Personal & Planetary Thriving Wanderlust Within

Welcome to Booze 101 with

Liz

ร ire go Brรกch: Who Is This Guy & Why Are We Drinking So Much for Him?

by Liz Crowe 8 | The Brick Magazine

“There are only two kinds of people in the world: the Irish and those who wish they were.”

W

elcome, Brick Readers, to your monthly advice/education/breaking with the monthly theme content, also known as Booze 101. It’s March. So we’re going to talk about this month’s holiday.

Part I: Let’s discuss a few common myths.

1.

This Patrick guy was born in Ireland, destined to be its patron saint.

2.

St. Patrick chased all the snakes out of Ireland.

3.

St. Patrick’s Day is an excuse to drink too much, usually on a weekday.

4.

Wearing green is mandatory on St. Patrick’s Day, and it’s the official start of beer-drinking season.

Allow me to address each of these one by one:

1. The dude’s name was not Patrick. It was Maewyn Succat. He was English, but sold in Ireland as a slave in the fifth century AD after his family’s estate was attacked by Irish pirates (you heard that right — Irish. Pirates). He escaped after six years back to England, went to Catholic school, then returned later to Ireland as a missionary. He changed his name to “Patricius,” which of course means we call him “Patrick,” when he became a priest. It means “father,” not “drink heavily in my honor in March.” Getting to that part.

2. There were no snakes to drive out.

Ireland is an island; scientific rumor has it that there never have been and never will be snakes on Ireland.

However, if you’re a good Sunday school student like me, you know that, in Christianity, snakes and serpents have always represented evil. When young Maewyn returned to Ireland, it was polytheistic — that is to say, they worshipped many gods. Without getting into the fairly practical nature of this, it was his role as a missionary to rid them of this apparent misconception about the Power That Was. Taking a step back, it is said that a vision convinced him to return to the land that had imprisoned him; he declared that Ireland had spoken with one voice, coming to him in a vision saying, “We appeal to you, holy servant boy, to come

and walk among us.” So he did. And he drove out those pesky other gods, which is likely why he’s attributed with driving snakes out of a snake-less island — i.e., he brought Christianity with him.

3. St. Patrick’s Day is in honor of the day Patricius died. By pure coincidence, this falls smack in the middle of Lent, which is a time many Catholics and others abstain from stuff, including alcohol. The fasting and whatnot during Lent is meant to allow for reflection upon the upcoming holiday Easter, wherein you eat chocolate eggs laid by big scary rabbits who sit on chairs in malls.

Okay, relax. I know what it’s for. I’m a preacher’s kid.

Anyways, since this does fall during the abstemious season for so many, thanks to his helpful driving out of anything but belief in one version of religion, these folks were sort of between a Blarney Stone and a hard place. The solution? A single day’s worth of no Lent! Ergo: drink (and eat, but mostly drink) to your heart’s content! The day itself is now celebrated in many countries, but we Americans have brought it to the next level. Which brings me to…

4. The green-wearing and beer-drinking have separate explanations. First, the green.

It’s believed that good ol’ Patricius née Maewyn used the shamrock clover, one of Ireland’s native plants, to teach his new converts about the Trinity — you know, one leaf each for the Father, Son, and the Holy Ghost.

When their favorite priest died and was sanctified, people wore the shamrocks on their clothing to honor him, while breaking their newly-minted Lent vows.

This eventually evolved into wearing green or risking a pinch — probably in America, because we love rules.

As for the holiday being the official start of beer-drinking season, I’m going with that being gospel. We imbibe over the holidays, toast the new year with too much bubbly, and go off the sauce in the winter to rest our livers, do our taxes, and regain control over messy closets and whatnot. Why not kick off a new year of drinking with a detoxed system in midMarch? Detox so you can re-tox, I always say.

March 2020 | 9

Part II: The beer most commonly affiliated with it is NOT GREEN. Allow me to repeat this: the beer you should drink to honor the memory of the English guy who was a slaveturned-missionary priest who brought Christianity to Ireland is not green. Green beer is not a thing. It is yellow beer with food coloring. Don’t do it. I mean I rarely insist on things, Dear Brick Reader, but I’m going to on this one.

Don’t drink green beer.

Instead, allow me to introduce you to one of my favorite beers, the dry Irish stout. This could come with its own set of myths and myth-busting, but I’ll spare you that.

However, the history is interesting, and like many popular modern booze histories, is linked to the taxation of ingredients, which led to a style that is one of the most widely-brewed throughout the world.

Dry stout began life as an English porter. Proper porters were brewed entirely with brown malt, and emerged in pubs in the early 18th century. Brewed to a multitude of strengths, “stout porter” was merely the stronger version.

Eventually, “stouts” became a style rather than an adjective and were mostly brewed in London and Dublin. When

10 | The Brick Magazine

Arthur Guinness opened his brewery at St. James Gate in Dublin, is was conveniently located next to the Grand Canal, which gave him easy access to the materials and ingredients he needed, both incoming and outgoing. More on his savviness later.

Black patent malt became available in 1819 thanks to a way-cool invention by Daniel Wheeler, which allowed beers to be brewed that were darker in color without adding anything that might change the actual flavor. The “patent” in the name reflects that he was granted a British Patent 4112 for his invention, the Drum Malt Roaster, which allowed maltsters to roast malt to the point where a small amount of malt could darken a large amount of beer without imparting an overly burnt or tarry taste to the entire brew. Prior to this, dark brown was as about as dark as dark beers got. By 1828, Guinness had replaced their entire stock of brown malt with black patent malt, and their own stout porter started eliciting competition from other notable breweries such as Beamish, Crawford, and Murphy’s.

By the mid-1800s, Guinness products could be found from the United States to New Zealand, and were called single stout (porter), double stout (extra stout), and foreign extra stout. They continued to innovate, adding flaked barley in the ‘50s and introducing the “draught” (pronounced “draft,”

drinking green beer is GROSS and has nothing to do with the actual celebration of Ireland’s snake-killing patron saint who wears green and dances a jig at the end of the rainbow while throwing gold coins... Oh. Wait. Okay. I get it. Drink it if you must. But at least understand the reason you’re doing it.

not like the condition where there is no rain for a long time) system in 1959. Thanks to this innovation, we get to have the Guinness Experience when this beer is properly poured, which is both visual and contextual — a.k.a. the dancing bubbles all through the glass, and the dry yet exceptionally smooth drinking experience.

Fun fact: this combination of carbon dioxide with nitrogen allowed the brewer to combine newer beers with old, flatter ones to create a brand new drinking experience. This was also something that gave brewers the option not to waste older inventory. The Guinness family is credited with a lot of things, including a savvy use of new ingredients, supercheap rent (they have a 9,000-year lease on their building for the equivalent of $1), inventory rotation methods, and marketing. Plus, their beer is excellent.

I’m lucky enough to have been able to visit St. James Gate with my family several years ago, during the years we lived near London. We will skip the part where my three kids believed that all vacations with Mom and Dad involved liquor in some form; I’ll tell you about our trip to Scotland another time. Anyways, it’s a killer brewery tour, and no matter how good a pour you might get at your favorite Irish pub stateside, there truly is nothing like one poured right from the source, fresh as a shamrock, so to speak.

To review: 1. The abbreviation is St. Patty’s, NOT St. Paddy’s. Sorry, had to throw that in along with a reminder that

2.

The best way to cap off your day of drinking on the 17th (which will be on a Tuesday this year) is a shot of Jameson’s Irish Whisky, but spare me the argument about chasing that with pickle juice… shudders …

3.

Guinness is excellent. Be sure to get it poured by someone who knows how to do it, as it’s a skill much different from any other beer dispensing. In Ann Arbor, I highly recommend the experts at Conor O’Neill’s. Get some of their Irish stew while you’re at it. I’ll be there this year. Hope to see you!

Amazon best-selling author, mom of three, brewery founder, craft beer marketing consultant, and avid sports fan, Liz Crowe is a Kentucky native and graduate of the University of Louisville currently living in Ann Arbor.

She has decades of experience in sales, public relations, and fundraising, plus an eight-year stint as a three-continent, ex-pat trailing spouse, all of which provide ongoing idea fodder for novels and other projects. www.facebook.com/lizcroweauthor (fan page) www.twitter.com/ETLizCrowe

Photo by Matt Hoffman

March 2020 | 11

Photo by Heidi McClelland

12 | The Brick Magazine

Financial Freedom and Security with Jessica Ping

by Kristen Domingue

W

e recently sat down with Jessica Ping, a financial advisor who grew up in Saline and currently lives in the Ann Arbor/Saline area. Throughout her school years, she was a stand-out student athlete, and now she continues to excel in the dynamic playing field of finance.

Our favorite part about the interview with Jessica was her financial confidence in her own life and how she lends that confidence to her clients. Jessica’s non-judgemental and supportive approach is what we hope all women can experience when it comes to their relationship with their financial advisor. If you don’t have one yet, consider Jessica; she might be everything you’ve been looking for in one package.

How I got started I knew in middle school that I wanted to be that lady who dresses up in a business suit and goes to the office. Things really came together for me when I graduated from college with a business major. I knew that I liked numbers and I liked working with people to solve problems. So, I started working for Paychex, Inc. I worked with small to medium-sized businesses and helped them with 401k administration, payroll processing, and group benefits; I saw what this was like on the corporate side of things.

It wasn't until my brother, who was by then a managing director at Northwestern Mutual, said to me, “Jessie, you have all this experience working with group benefits. Why don't you come over to the personal side of planning?”

My older sister was also a financial advisor — she had been working with Northwestern Mutual for a few years, and I could see how successful they both were in their careers.

It seemed interesting enough to me to try it out.

Prior to that point, I had worked with over 2,000 business owners in my 16 years with Paychex. I had a lot of connections, and I knew many of them could benefit from what I could offer as a financial planner.

Our approach I'm a Northwestern Mutual financial advisor. I work with many successful young professional women who often don’t have a clear idea of what to do with their money. Together we figure out student loans, how to create assets, and how to balance income between the two and establish a budget to live on each month. When you start younger and build savings vehicles early on, it becomes a habit. When you're older, it’s harder (when you're used to spending a certain amount of money per month for years on end) to start cutting a portion of that and putting it into a place you don’t touch. At first, that 10-20% cut into your spending can hurt; but you can do it.

March 2020 | 13

With me, clients can do full financial planning. This means they can do three things: budgeting, investing, and riskmanagement. People often neglect the importance of risk-management (insurance coverage) that gets you through the unpredictable moments in life.

This is the challenge with working with a traditional financial advisor — and what’s different about Northwestern Mutual.

With us, you have the ability to get all of it handled with a full financial plan, not just a savings and investment plan.

96% of Northwestern Mutual clients stay with us. We recognize that for our clients, life changes every year. Whether it be a marriage, a divorce, a child, a grandchild, college planning, or anything else — all of those are what we go over during our annual meetings to make sure that we address them in our clients’ plan. If I'm working with a younger client, we might just do life insurance and disability insurance and start an IRA. But as the years go by, the planning becomes more detailed and more complex. That's the one thing that I really liked about the process that Northwestern Mutual provided for us as advisors; they understand the necessity of layering in the right next steps at the right time.

How we manage transitions: divorce, death and marriage

Photo by Heidi McClelland

14 | The Brick Magazine

In cases where there is a separation or divorce and the couple has a joint financial plan, many clients don’t know what to do. They don't even realize they can split the assets through what's called a QDRO (qualified domestic relations order), where a legal order through the court system details how assets will be split. Otherwise, one partner may try to take advantage of the other.In cases like that, I work directly with divorce attorneys to make sure that when the QDRO is put in place, it's executed fully and the assets are moved correctly.

The other time people absolutely need support (and often don’t get it) is when there's a loss in the family. That’s usually when assets are rolled over or inherited. People often don't know what to do with those monies, and then they’re spent instead of considering them for long-term investing or planning for the next generation. When it comes to saving, the earlier the better; having investment funds for children and grandchildren as soon as they’re born gives these assets time to mature. They can be of full benefit to the child and reach maximum potential when started early.

earlier, the better” coupled with the reality that it’s never too late. But for many, there’s a fear of working with a financial advisor. Many people feel embarrassed by what they don’t know.

One of the more fun financial milestones is when my clients get married. This is a moment when I wear my financial therapist hat. Well after marriage, both partners often still have two separate bank accounts. If that's a conscious choice, that's good. But this is usually a default approach to money, and at some point, conflict arises that highlights the necessity of having a joint approach.

I just met with a couple in their forties with three kids.

They don't have any life insurance. They have debt and don't have very much in terms of savings put away. I ran into the woman at a function before she became a client, and she asked me, “When is the right time for me to come see you?” I told her that she could come any time. Later she went on to explain, “We were so nervous to meet with you because we thought you were going to judge our financial situation.” I told her that it’s not my place to judge When someone has the courage to ask for help, they don’t need my judgement, they need my support. I told her that together, we’d figure out a game plan so that her family can see a brighter and clearer financial future.

The myth of “the right time”

How to know I’m right for you

When it comes to getting a financial advisor, the truth is that there’s no “perfect time.” There’s just the adage “the

I frequently meet people in their fifties and sixties who didn’t think that they were worthy of a financial advisor,

We’re here to help you do the things that matter most. Now and years from now. Working with us means having someone who thinks of all the what-ifs, so you don’t have to. From wealth management to retirement planning and life insurance, we’ll help you with all the things you live for.

Spend your life living.®

Jessica Ping CLTC Financial Advisor 734.358.5757 jessicaping.nm.com

07-1004 © 2020 Northwestern Mutual is the marketing name for The Northwestern Mutual Life Insurance Company (NM), (life and disability insurance, annuities, and life insurance with long-term care benefits) and its subsidiaries in Milwaukee, WI. Northwestern Mutual Investment Services, LLC (NMIS) (securities), a subsidiary of NM, broker-dealer, registered investment adviser and member FINRA and SIPC. Jessica Ping Hausman is an Insurance Agent(s) of NM. Jessica Ping Hausman, is a Registered Representative(s) of NMIS. Jessica Ping Hausman, is a Representative of Northwestern Mutual Wealth Management Company®, (NMWMC) (fiduciary and fee-based financial planning services), a subsidiary of NM and federal savings bank. All NMWMC products and services are offered only by properly credentialed Representatives who operate from agency offices of NMWMC.

March 2020 | 15

or thought they could do the planning on their own. I think that's a big missed opportunity, because if they were to sit down with somebody like me, I could get them a plan to figure out if and when they can retire and make sure they have the budget for it, and explain to them how Medicare, taxes, inflation, health insurance, and social security factors into their plan. I love working with individuals approaching retirement and giving them clarity on their finances.

Personally, I find it a fun challenge to work with young doctors and others who have graduate school debt, because I worked with my husband (a physician and Chief of Staff and the VA Hospital in Ann Arbor) on managing his. It’s so important to make sure that graduates have the right insurance for their profession, too. For example, my husband needs disability insurance, given the risks of his chosen profession. It’s important to protect his income and future earning potential.

I can use my financial know-how to help families make a difference in their lives and others’. Like so many of my clients, I’m a very familyoriented person. I have three siblings I’m close to and very proud of. My mom and dad have always been really involved in the community through education. Then my dad went into the professional sports world. Growing up, we were always very involved in community events. For almost 29 years, we've hosted a golf outing in Saline that has given around $56,000 back to the community every year through different nonprofit organizations. For example, we’ve given to Chad Tough this year; for two years before that, we gave to Safe House. In addition, we give two to three academic/athletic scholarships to Saline High School seniors each year.

Photo by Heidi McClelland

16 | The Brick Magazine

I started saving and investing as early as I did because of a personal challenge. When I was in college, I was diagnosed with Crohn's. I realized that younger people think they're invincible and healthy, and that’s not the case for many. I became a Northwestern Mutual client when I was 23 years old. If I hadn’t gotten life insurance when I did right out of college, I’d probably be uninsurable.

This experience spurs me to help my clients make key financial decisions now, for whatever life may throw their way.

On being a working woman One of the things that gives my life the most meaning is being a mom to three kids. I have a fifteen-year-old son, a nine-year-old daughter, and a seven-year-old son. I love that my career allows me to attend school functions and athletic events and still have time to be with my clients. I just build it into my schedule. I’ve figured out how to be a part of their lives and still be there for my clients. My husband is engaged as well. Every day, he wants to know what’s going on and what my goals are.

We work together to give ourselves and our kids a wellrounded family life.

Advice to younger me (and young adults today) I see so many 25-year-olds living in their parents' basement because they don't really know what they want.

Some do know, and they’ve strategized that this is the right financial path for them right now. But so many think they’re “supposed to” be getting their master's or PhD, and they’re getting themselves into more debt. Yet, deep down, their hearts are somewhere else. So, I’d say to all of you out there, and wish I could’ve said this to my recent college-grad self: if you don’t know, don't rush your life.

There are few women in my industry, and that can be daunting. But I think that digging in and learning about finance is empowering. Only 7% of the advisors at Northwestern Mutual are women. Industry-wide, it might be about 11-12%. However, women control 51% of the nation’s wealth, and we know from the research that women prefer to work with other women when it comes to their money. I’d remind my younger self that that alone is worth it.

Finally, I’d say the earlier you can start with organizing your money and investing, the better. I recently met with a 25-year-old young woman who just wanted to get everything in order. She'll be able to do whatever she wants as long as she commits to the savings plan we set up together. She's going to be in a great position 20 years down the road.

It’s a good idea to meet with a financial advisor as soon as you get a job. And if you didn’t? It’s OK to start wherever you are. Whatever your circumstance is, it’s not too late to plan ahead.

Photo by Heidi McClelland

Jessica’s story is unique because a health crisis at an early age forced her into financially planning for her future. We loved meeting with her because she fully understands that even if you don’t start early, it’s never too late. She also made it clear that judgement has no place in a financial planning conversation. This was refreshing, because so often, what we don’t know can hurt us when it comes to our money. Jessica makes it easy to get the support we need to have clarity about what we need to do to feel financially secure and free.

Kristen M. Domingue is a copywriter and content marketing consultant in the New York City area. When she’s not delivering on client projects, you can find her cooking up something gluten-free or in an internet rabbit hole on entrepreneurship or astrology.

March 2020 | 17

A Designerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Eye on London

by Tiffany Edison 18 | The Brick Magazine

Photo by Sabrina Mazzeo

P

erhaps the most enjoyable part of traveling abroad is pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone. In fact, research shows the experience of travel has several health and psychological benefits.

A joint study from the Global Commission on Aging (in partnership with the US Travel Association) reports that workers who travel at least twice a year show “significantly lower risk of suffering a heart attack than those who only travel every six years or so.”* Personally, I always find myself more motivated than ever after I return home from a trip. It’s as if I transform into the Energizer Bunny, pushing forward with limitless drive and inspiration.

As spring approaches, I will be taking my teenage daughters out of the country to visit London for the very first time. The preparation for this trip has been invigorating, and as an avid design lover of all things English, I will share some of the places we will be visiting while we are across the pond. Here is the nudge you need to plan a trip you’ve been putting off for some reason. You’re welcome.

Accommodations The Ham Yard Hotel, designed by the extremely talented Kit Kemp, will be where we will rest our heads while visiting the United Kingdom. Located in the heart of Soho, this hotel is quite a treat for the eyes. Kit’s ability to mix patterns and textures is so very inspiring. She has the perfect knack for balancing whimsical motifs with sophistication.

Other notable mentions include The Rosewood Hotel, Claridges, Blake’s Hotel, and the more affordably-priced Covent Garden Hotel. All boast excellent locations within walking distance to several museums, restaurants, and superb shopping areas.

St. James Park is where to go if you feel like getting your royal on! It is surrounded by three royal palaces (including Buckingham Palace) and has a large lake where duckwatching and pelican-feeding are a must-do activity.

Equally distinguished is the centrally located Hyde Park, which boasts over 4,000 trees. It’s home to magnificent rose gardens and perhaps the most memorable attraction, the Diana, Princess of Wales Memorial Fountain.

Regent’s Park is also at the top of the list! Designed by renowned architect John Nash, this park is wildly popular among those seeking boating opportunities. It features an open-air theatre in the midst of stunning formal gardens.

Culture The London Eye, or the Millennium Wheel (its other moniker) is perhaps the most well-known tourist attraction in London.

Built in 1998, this cantilevered observation attraction on the bank of the River Thames will not disappoint. It’s an impressive 443 feet in height, and lets groups of passengers take in a bird’s eye view of the city proper. If you book your tickets online, you’ll save 10%!

Parks London is known for its many parks, which all offer unique characteristics in addition to providing the perfect background for picturesque strolls throughout the city.

If heights are not your thing, but art is, then head on down to the Tate Modern Museum. Make sure to plan ahead and see what special exhibits are in town while you’re in the area. As an ardent art lover, and lover of modern

March 2020 | 19

commemorate your trip? As an interior designer, it’s these items that set apart the “designed” home from the “collected” — and trust me, these homes are miles apart.

Pubs

art in particular, this is a must! I’m hoping to nurture an appreciation for modern art in my daughters this trip.

The V & A (Victoria & Albert) National Portrait Gallery is a high-recommended destination option. You could get lost for days in this vast structure dedicated to art and culture. Again, make sure to check what exhibits will be going on while you are in town and plan accordingly.

Where do I stop? The Tower of London (home of the Crown Jewels), Tower Bridge, Burlington Arcade (for you Ann Arborites, I’d describe it as a grander version of Nickels Arcade) — London has anything your heart desires.

Shopping I will start with my favorite store on the entire planet: Liberty of London. It has the most tasteful collection of designer items to date, including high-end fashion and luxury homeware.

You will find rooms dedicated to scarves, shoes, and blankets.

I personally could stay here all day, but if it’s your first time visiting London, you may also want to check out the uberfamous Harrods. On top of featuring amazing high-end clothing, Harrods has a well-established restaurant worth checking out, as well as a highly-esteemed wellness clinic. All of this makes for a pretty amazing shopping experience.

Antiquing Perhaps the most coveted antique store in the United Kingdom, Guinevere, opened in 1963 and has had staying power ever since. There are literally treasures everywhere you look; what’s better than bringing home an item to

20 | The Brick Magazine

Jerusalem Tavern in Clerkenwell is an old time pub that’s at Photo by Eva Dang least 700 years old.

The atmosphere is amazing and the food’s not bad either.

Fish and chips anyone?

On the opposite side of the spectrum hails The Ned. This place will give those looking for a refined English experience the opportunity to sip an amazing craft cocktail in a sophisticated ambience.

Lastly, the Blue Bar (I was there years ago — it’s amazing) was designed by David Collins and is located within the Berkeley Hotel in Knightsbridge. It’s a jewel box, and a testament to my favorite things: the color blue and the perfect Manhattan.

In the words of one of my favorite movies: “Get busy living, or get busy dying.” It’s your choice. Cheerio! *Global Commission on Aging study: www.nbcnews.com/ better/wellness/5-scientifically-proven Tiffany Edison has been an interior designer since 2002, and specializes in both residential and commercial projects.

She holds a Master of Social Work degree (ACSW) and utilizes interpersonal relationship skills on a daily basis with her client base, largely comprised of Ann Arbor and Metro Detroit residents. She has a wonderfully large blended family residing in the city and enjoys the comforts of home. When she’s not fully immersed in client projects, you can find her active on the golf course, a favorite pastime. www.birchdesignassociates.com Instagram: @birchdesignassociates

R E F L E C T YO U R L I F E ST Y L E .

Birch Design Associates specializes in residential and commercial interiors. www.birchdesignassociates.com March 2020 |

21

Traveling Through Transitions

by Maria Sylvester, MSW, CPC Photo by Jacalyn Beales

22 | The Brick Magazine

Photo by Priscilla duPreez

O

ne thing that life does not spare for any of us are transitions. Existing as a human on this beautiful planet of ours means that inevitably and intermittently, we’ll experience changes in our lives. These changes may come as a gentle pull forward or a sudden, harsh push. Regardless of whether or not we care to travel to such new destinations, we are always nudged forward amid the constant flow of life. Sometimes we move into transitions by choice, and sometimes they come unexpectedly, forcing us into a new territory. Either way, transitions beg the question: “Now what?”

If in the throes of transition you pause and unpack that question, you’ll discover feelings of two general varieties: the uncomfortable ones — uncertainty, doubt, worry, fear, anxiety, loss, and insecurity — and the

uplifting ones — hope, possibility, growth, excitement, and joyful anticipation. You’ll encounter this colorful mixture of feelings as you navigate new places and possibilities.

One of the main reasons people seek me out as a life coach is for support when facing a transition. There are multiple kinds of transitions — from high school to college, college to career, or from one career to another. Other transitions include going from being single to being in a relationship, in a relationship to marriage, marriage to parenthood, active parenthood to empty nest, marriage to divorce, health to illness, or illness back to healing and health. The list is endless. And from any of these vantage points, one is called upon the face themselves in unique, new ways.

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From No Longer to Not Yet Here’s my best guess as to why, at a transition junction, one often seeks guidance. First and foremost, I believe it’s because moving from one milestone to another stirs up uncertainty. A state of uncertainty is not the easiest or most comfortable state to hold. One can feel quite vulnerable sitting in it. It’s the land of the unknown, a rugged landscape of foreign terrain. One can see, and more importantly, one can feel what they are about to let go of or lose, yet not have a clue as to what life will look or feel like on the other side.

This lack of clarity often traps us, causing stress, doubt, and hesitation.

This unsettling state occurs in part because at some stage, we have to leave familiar schemas — those known cognitive frameworks, concepts, or ways of being that help you confidently organize, interpret, and process information. Inherent in the process of rolling through a life transition is the challenge of leaving known schematic shores and setting out to sea, to a destination unfamiliar and unclear.

For many, this can bring just a tad of anxiety or discomfort, even if one is choosing a specific change.

Leaving the comforts of known shores often conjures deep feelings of loss. You are called upon to let go of what will no longer be. If you’re not careful, you can get stuck focusing on this loss, especially because it is easier to recognize that than what lies ahead.

The future is unknown.

Life transitions therefore involve learning to tolerate a state of not yet arriving someplace new. This is what can derail us. Why? Because shifting your gaze toward strange

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“Light precedes every transition. Whether at the end of a tunnel, through a crack in the door, or the flash of an idea, it is always there, heralding a new beginning.” ~Theresa Tsalaky or unpredictable circumstances can bring feelings of loss of control. The in-between path is blurry. One might feel unprepared or lost — ultimately, we don’t like not being in control. It’s no fun, yet not necessarily unmanageable.

Letting go of the past isn’t easy, especially when the future, even if desired, remains a big question mark. At the same time, it can truly help to remember that letting go always sets us on a course of dynamic personal growth.

What’s Under Your Control Life transitions call for courage and a focus on what you can control. Rather than dwelling on the uncertainty, I love encouraging my clients to remember all they do know, possess, and have control over. They are resourceful and resilient, and have numerous strengths they can call forth to see them through the rough waters of change.

Empowering confidence and comfort arise when you can remember all the skills and abilities you already possess and can, if desired, bring to the table of changing tides.

carefully and mindfully fosters that all-important state of rich self-awareness. Heightened understanding of one’s self is a gift of life transitions.

Know Your Triggers To grow in understanding yourself during a transition means to also know how the current situation you are facing may trigger memories of past shifts you’ve made in your life. How did those go? Remembering and registering such can bring fruitful insights to your present process.

Were you terrified or overwhelmed as you moved from one place in your life to another, yet perhaps discovered peace and exhilaration on the other side of that change? If so, what did you learn that can be applied to your current reality? Or, maybe the present challenging transition you are approaching can serve a healing corrective for a previous change gone less favorably. What key learnings can you apply to the transition you’re standing in front of?

Arriving on the Other Side Character traits such as humor, intelligence, patience, compassion, self-awareness, and creativity as just a few of many useful talents one can access during times of transition — not to mention the ability to connect with others and enjoy their support and care. This simple change of perspective — from what is out of one’s control to what is in one’s control — packs a magnificently powerful punch.

Worries or anxious negative self-talk cease quickly when you can concentrate on the strengths you’ve got in your backpack as you move through any transition.

Pacing Matters I know for myself, probably one of the most significant things I’ve learned about traversing life’s transitions is to do so slowly, if at all possible. This is because rarely can one see the whole picture of what’s ahead. Taking pause, I’ve discovered, can be a good thing. It allows one to catch their breath. To survey the big picture. To consider the next inspired steps — one-at-a-time steps. And with time for lots of reflection! Rounding each turn on a new path

Opportunities abound on the other side of your transition. This I guarantee. For now you get to know and feel that which your previous self could not! Arriving on the other side of a change lets you experience yourself as someone who has successfully done it. You get to savor the fruits of your labor, courage, and capacity to weather change. Perhaps best of all, you get to realize a new you as you land in a new place in your glorious life. Fresh starts and new beginnings rock!

Maria Sylvester, MSW, CPC is a certified Life Coach in Ann Arbor, MI who loves empowering adolescents, adults, and couples to live from the HEART of what really matters to them so that they can bring their fully expressed, vibrant selves into the world.

She has a special gift for helping women reclaim their feminine power, and embrace their radiant, sensual, sexy spirits. Their lives transform. They soar into their mid-life magnificence! www.lifeempowermentcoaching.com Instagram: @life_coach_maria Facebook: www.facebook.com/LifeEmpowermentCoaching

March 2020 | 25

I

In Her Shoes

by Jen DeGregorio

n 2019, my goal was to get really good at one thing. Maybe I would learn French, or improve my knitting skills. As resolutions often go, I didn’t do either of those things. However, when the summer came, I decided to take a huge career leap.

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After years of doing freelance PR and marketing for various local non-profits, I joined The ChadTough Foundation as the Director of Communications. In my new position, I’d be interviewing families that have had or currently have a child fighting pediatric brain cancer. It was scary and exciting to

have an opportunity to honor each child fighting such a horrible disease, but also to continue to raise awareness and maybe even effect real change.

Six years ago, like many other people across the country, I followed Chad Carr’s 14-month journey through his mother’s voice on social media. Tammi Carr articulated her profound heartache in such a raw and authentic way; it made people want to step up and do something. To this day, it was one of the most powerful things I’ve ever witnessed, and her voice helped pave the way for major advances in the research of brain cancer.

I thought that, having witnessed Chad’s journey, I would be prepared to interact with other families going through the same thing. I realize now that when it comes to the impending loss of a child, each story is its own unique nightmare.

My first interview was over the phone with a mother from northern California named Chrissy Rodart. I spent hours preparing for our call by scouring her social media.

I learned that her five-year-old son Wyatt had recently been diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor. While the prognosis was dire, Chrissy was determined to do everything in her power to help Wyatt and ensure her family lived each day to its fullest, enjoying every second they had together.

When our conversation began, she walked me through Wyatt’s diagnosis and treatment plan. The family would be traveling to Michigan every nine weeks for a clinical trial at the University of Michigan. I learned from our talk that Chrissy was a teacher, that she was planning numerous family trips and birthday parties, and highly involved with her older child’s extracurricular activities, all while being told her youngest son had only a matter of months to live.

She was strong and determined as we spoke, ready to do whatever she had to do to save her child. She took deep breaths and stayed focussed on the facts. It wasn’t until she began to talk about Wyatt’s older brother and the deep bond the two shared that she broke down. Then I broke down, too. It took us some time to get our composure back. We were discussing something so heartbreaking that there was no point in trying to hide the pain.

Shortly after, I spoke with a woman from Ohio named Lisa Taylor who had lost her son Charlie the year before. As a

single mother, she adopted Charlie from infancy. For five blissful years, Charlie was her entire world. And then he was diagnosed with brain cancer. Together, the two fought the disease for 12 months before Charlie succumbed.

When I spoke with Lisa, she was grateful for the opportunity to talk about her son. She was happy to send me pictures and tell me stories about the things they did together. That was a profound moment for me, realizing just how much someone going through grief still wants to talk about and remember their loved one.

By now, I’ve spoken to about a dozen mothers who have either lost a child to brain cancer or have a child currently fighting the battle. In every single case, I’ve been overwhelmingly awed by their strength. I often think of what I might be like if my child was faced with cancer. When I do this, I’m hit with such a wave of terror that I feel certain I wouldn’t even be able to get out of bed. They tell me you don’t know your own strength until you’re not given a choice; I hope that I’ll never have to know.

Now that we’ve entered a new decade, someone recently asked me what my goals are for 2020. Thinking about it, I realized that the way I look at life has changed in the last six months. While I’d still like to develop a skill (maybe take my writing to the next level), it feels more important to me to wake up each day with gratitude. These warrior mothers I’ve gotten to know have shown me how important it is to be present and love intensely — to live each day to its absolute fullest. I will honor them by doing just that.

In addition to serving The ChadTough Foundation as the Director of Communications, Jen DeGregorio manages PR/marketing and events for several nonprofits across Washtenaw County. She began her career in newspapers in 1995 as a means to cover college expenses. After completing her degree at the University of Michigan-Dearborn in English, she continued to build a career in advertising with the Ann Arbor News.

She was one of the first hires at AnnArbor.com and became an integral part of the management team. In 2012, Jen decided to start her own businesses, with a focus on helping small businesses and non-profits.

She splits her time between her home in Dexter, MI and an apartment in NYC where her husband has worked for almost a decade.

March 2020 | 27

Top Travel Trends for 2020

by Beth Johnston 28 | The Brick Magazine

I

s travel a goal for you this year? It definitely is for me. Are you curious about what’s hot in travel this year as we begin a new decade?

Here are my picks for the top travel trends. The educator in me has chosen to present them using the five W’s and one H (Who, What, When, Where, Why, and How).

Who? The most common groups of travelers are multigenerational immediate family and skip-gen (grandparents and grandchildren). Families want to disconnect from technology and reconnect with each other. This type of family bonding through travel has become a top priority.

Another hot trend is traveling with pets. Travelers want their pets treated like VIPs, and many hotels are accommodating this by incorporating special pet amenities. Pet-friendly activities and eateries at vacation destinations are becoming more popular. Top-notch pet care on flights is also expected; air-cargo pet disasters are a no-no.

Group getaways are not just limited to families. Many people are traveling to bond with friends and others who share similar interests, or those who are in the same life-stage as they are. Newlywed couples are opting for buddymoons or friendmoons instead of the traditional honeymoon. Destination bachelor and bachelorette parties are very popular. I celebrated my bachelorette party in Chicago, and my son has attended bachelor parties in Nashville and Vegas.

What?

Sustainability remains a top priority in travel. According to an article in Forbes, it will be the cornerstone of high-end luxury.

Green travel is becoming increasingly popular and essential.

Most hotels and restaurants have eliminated single-use plastic straws, and some are converting to toiletries that are refillable and not small, disposable containers.

The Greta Thurnberg effect of flight shame is causing travelers to become creative in their means of travel.

Electric airplanes, luxury train travel, and boat travel are such alternatives. If you want to visit multiple destinations, pick destinations that are located close together and take one flight to get you to the right region.

Keep in mind that some destinations are suffering from overtourism (too many tourists, which can cause all sorts of economic and environmental problems for locals and their countries), and some undertourism (traveling to less popular vacation destinations) on your part may be much-appreciated by the inhabitants of less-visited places and your future self.

Eco-tourism, climate-neutral travel, voluntourism, and responsible travel are all buzzwords under the sustainability umbrella. With a little research, you may find that one of these takes on sustainable tourism may fit you perfectly!

When?

No time for a week or more trip? Just take a microcation. These “tiny trips” are for people who can’t get away for long due to family responsibilities, work, or just a lack of vacation days. You can still unwind and recharge if you get away for a shorter amount of time (2-4 days).

Doing this several times a year will help you change your perspective.

Low or shoulder season travel is a way to avoid the crowds in popular destinations. It’s also less expensive to travel during low season. If there are fewer people at your destination, you can have a more immersive experience. I have two different clients who traveled to Italy and Ireland in February. They were able to avoid the crowds and have some wonderful experiences.

Where?

Virtuoso released its top travel destinations for 2020 in October 2019. Here is a summary of their destination findings: .

Top 5 Overall 1 Italy, 2. Greece, 3. France, 4. Japan, 5. Croatia

5 Destinations on the Rise 1 Croatia, 2. Antarctica, 3. Iceland, 4. Japan, 5. Portugal

5 Family Favorites 1 Hawaii, 2. Italy, 3. Orlando, Florida, 4. Costa Rica, 5. England

Top 5 for Adventure 1 Antarctica, 2. Alaska, 3. Galapagos Islands, 4. South Africa, 5. Iceland March 2020 | 29

Why? People are traveling for different reasons.

The top motivations for travel are: •

To celebrate a milestone

•

To have active or adventure trips (involving biking, hiking, climbing, etc.)

•

To discover their roots (ancestry travel)

•

To have experiences that transform and lead to increased emotional intelligence (by seeing culturally distinct, remote, or unspoiled natural destinations)

•

To fulfill a Wanderlist (bucket list)

How? We have arrived at the ultimate question: how do you make your travel dreams a reality?

As you read through all of the travel trends above, which ones resonate with you?

Explore your travel priorities. Who do you want to travel with? Where do you want to travel? What are your interests or passions, and how can you incorporate those into your long-term travel plan?

What are travel destinations that hold no appeal for you? Often knowing what you don’t want helps you clarify what you do want. What is most important to you while traveling? Figure out your “why.”

Here are some simple steps to follow for your travel planning.

Photo by Mark Neal

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•

Make travel a priority

•

Figure out what’s holding you back.

Is it money, time, responsibilities?

•

Where do you want to go, what do you want to experience, who do you want to go with?

•

Figure out a realistic budget and start saving

•

Research everything

Photo by fauxels

If you are someone who has the time, energy, and interest to complete the steps above on their own, hooray! Go for it!

If you lack the time, energy, resources, and know-how to do this type of travel planning on your own, don’t despair.

Wanderlist® is a unique and innovative online tool developed by Virtuoso, the world’s leading luxury travel network, that marries “Netflix-style” technology with the human touch and deep expertise of a travel advisor. The result is a customized 3-5 year travel portfolio that will help you save time and money, but most of all help you prioritize what matters most — a clear path to fulfilling all your travel dreams. I believe Wanderlist will change the future of travel planning, and I’m thrilled to be among the first travel advisors to be able to offer it.

If travel is a priority in your life, you need to decide

how you are going to accomplish your travel goals, whether that’s with the help of a travel professional or on your own. Either way, set your intention for traveling more. Maybe you will be the next travel trend-setter!

Beth was born and raised in Ann Arbor, MI and currently resides in Pinckney, MI with her husband Dan. She is a retired elementary educator from Ann Arbor Public Schools (13 years) and Pinckney Community Schools 17 years). She has three sons from her first marriage (ages 30, 28, & 25), a daughter-in-law, a new grandson, and three step-children.

Using her luxury travel specialist expertise, Beth founded Orenda Travel. Our custom-crafted itineraries speak exclusively to families’ unique needs, passions, and sense of adventure. We believe that travel has the ability to change lives forever. www.orenda.travel www.facebook.com/OrendaLuxTravel/ www.instagram.com/orenda.travel/

March 2020 | 31

6 Ways to Travel Well with Your Gut

by Allison Downing Jordan

T

raveling is hard on the gut. Can I get an amen on that?

As a gut health therapist, all my research shows that pretty much everything about travel makes things hard on the gut, with bloating and constipation being the top two offenders. Occasionally, there are a few people who might tell you that traveling doesn’t affect their gut at all, but this experience is not common. Why? The four main behaviors that make travel hard on the body are 1) sitting for long periods of time (in a car or plane),

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2) crossing timezones, 3) changes in diet (what you eat and when), and 4) changes in daily rhythms (sleeping in, not exercising, readjusting to new geography, directions, cuisine, temperature, etc).

Whether you’re traveling for business or pleasure, the effect is the same — constipation, bloating, and physical and gastrointestinal sluggishness. You want to keep traveling, but you don’t want these side effects. What can you do?

Here are six ways to travel well with your gut:

2. Wake up an hour earlier*

Photo by Alex Ronsdorf

1. Walk When it’s an option, get up and walk.

At car rest stops, don’t just sit back down with a bagel or coffee. Stay standing as you eat, or take a stroll. Better yet, if you have kids or a dog, take a moment to run around with them to help release their pent-up energy—and yours!

Between plane layovers, walk around the airport. Set up a scavenger hunt to find unique spots in the airport you, listen to a podcast or music, mentally list things you are grateful for, or call a friend or family member and talk to them as you walk.

Waking up an hour earlier than you need to leave your hotel or destination ensures that your gut has time to begin to move before you do. When we start moving too quickly (whether going to work, an errand, or a museum or park), our bodies get signals to not need to go. A start that is too quick for the day is basically a digestion suppression mechanism.

Starting your day slow helps give your body time to digest — and want to go number two. If you have a breakfast date, get up one hour before you eat breakfast for coffee, tea, or water. If you wake up really hungry, eat during that first hour, but make sure it is a relaxed and slow meal. During this hour, you can give yourself time to go for a walk, journal, read, or plan for the week. You could even write a letter or email of love or encouragement to someone! The benefits are endless.

*And as a note, this is a great technique in everyday life to increase regularity and quality of stool emptying. It helps the body slow down and have a moment to relax and release!

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3. Plan to eat one light meal a day We get force-fed a lot of meals while we travel. From plane food to just grabbing something from a vendor because it smells good, having one meal a day where your gut doesn’t have to do enzymatic gymnastics to process the food can really help.

Qualities of a light meal include: having more veggies and fruits, no including dessert or extra sweets, having low salt, being light on carbs including breads, pastas, rice, or potatoes, being light on fatty meats and cheese or dairy, and including a single serving of alcohol at the most.

Instead of eating lasagna, a hamburger, or fried meat, choose a salad, a nutrient-dense smoothie (with veggies, not just fruit and sugar), some grilled salmon, or chicken and veggies. This helps lighten the proverbial load on your gut, helping restore a healthy balance to the microbiome and prepping the large intestine to do its work.

4. Pack snacks from home that you know your body likes Whether you are traveling internationally or not, this can make a big difference! Without food we are familiar with, we don’t know how much to eat or how it will affect us.

When you’re still at home, buy and pack food you know your body likes and can handle well — nuts, granola bars, smoothie mix, dried fruit, dried meat, etc. Pack in it bags or mason jars.

Having this food on hand between meals can help you make better choices at mealtime and better deal with hunger when it comes at less-than-ideal times. And what’s more, it will be extremely helpful if you get sick overseas and your body can’t handle any new food or spices for a few meals.

5. Bring supplements I don’t like going crazy on supplements, especially when trying to travel light; so here are my two go-to travel supplements:

Photo by Mateus Campos

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Photo by Raychan Hqa

Magnesium citrate: pill, powder, or gummy form Cream of tartar (potassium bitartrate) and Himalayn/ Celtic salt Magnesium citrate, potassium, and salt are all electrolytes that our body needs to help our muscles fire well.

Magnesium citrate can be bought in pill form from Amazon or as a drink mix or gummy from Calm (also on Amazon). Take 200mg once or twice a day, or 400mg once a day.

Add ¼ tsp-½ tsp of potassium bitartrate, in the form of cream of tartar, to ¼ tsp-½ tsp of Himalayan or Celtic salt. Mix together with 1 tbsp of water or lemon juice.

A lemon essential oil will also help with the flavor. Drink quickly as a shot once in the morning (after you wake up an hour early!).

As an added benefit, these supplements can help with hydration, body aches, and overall energy levels.

Experiment and see which supplement your body benefits from the most, or alternate days between using either supplement.

6. Plan all this in advance!

If you’ve never done any of this while traveling, it will not be natural to start doing it. Before going on your trip,

mentally rehearse what problems or snags you may run into that will make it hard to follow through. Will it be hard to get up in the morning because others are sleeping in your room? Here’s a possible solution: put all the clothes you need to change into by your bed the night before so you can grab them in the dark without needing to rustle through your suitcase.

While traveling, it can be easy to want to kick back and forget our body’s needs. We are occupied with fun or work, and we are distracted by navigating our GPS, staying on top of our plane itinerary, or hailing a cab. But with the right steps, you can look forward to your next trip, and maybe even come back with more energy and health than you left with. Happy travels!

Allison Downing Jordan LMT, BCTMB is the author of Stop Stomach Pain: How to Heal Your Gut and End Food Restrictions and is the founder and head therapist of Better Belly Therapies, an Ann Arbor clinic that treats men and women with IBS, acid reflux, and functional GI disorders to decrease food restrictions and increase quality of life.

To learn more, you can visit betterbellytherapies.com to read more about our methods, or buy Stop Stomach Pain at betterbellytherapies.com/book. Available in ebook or print form.

Instagram @betterbellytherapies Facebook @betterbellytherapies

March 2020 | 35

How We Get from Here to There

by Kellie Mox

M

y husband Blake and I are those people who ponder our next adventure before we’re even home from our last one. We love to travel.

We don’t relish the flight delays, the kids arguing in the backseat, or the packing and unpacking. Rather, we love that travel brings new experiences. Exploring new places allows us to interact with new people, landscapes, food, music, and ways of being. Travel invites new perspectives and opens our minds, hearts, and spirits. And, whether we do it alone or together, we find that it cultivates connection and learning about ourselves and each other.

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Blake and I share a birthday — same day, different year — and because this year was his fortieth, we decided to celebrate with a long weekend in Austin.

Blake brought along a book to read that he’d given me for my birthday called How to Be a Family: The Year I Dragged My Kids Around the World to Find a New Way to Be Together. Written by Dan Kois, the book is a memoir of the year he and his family lived in different locations around the world and immersed themselves in new ways of coexisting. My husband thoughtfully gifted me this book because we’d somewhat casually, somewhat seriously been talking about what it might

be like to take a sabbatical of sorts and explore new places as a family.

Contemplating Big Stretches This vision of relocating for a year to a new city or country is both exciting and a bit terrifying. It feels like the ultimate new life experience, which we crave and adore. Blake and I both dream of what it might be like to be a family in a different way. We’re intentional about not over-filling our schedules, but a lifestyle with less rushing out the door in the morning, less distraction from extracurriculars, and more time connecting, learning, and exploring nature and culture together still feels out of reach in our current lives.

The idea of a family sabbatical takes “pondering the next adventure” to a different, more serious level. Despite our enthusiasm, it feels scary to consider, because it would require some big stretches outside of our comfort zones.

The thought of even temporarily homeschooling feels overwhelming. Being out of a routine and away from a home base feels like a stretch, too. And we know from experience that traveling with children is quite often just life in another place. Yet, the benefits still seem to outweigh the costs.

According to my husband, How to Be a Family confirmed all of this. (Don’t ask me yet. It’s still in my to-read stack.)

Still, every conversation inevitably leads back to these questions: How could we possibly do this? How could we fund it? How could we manage our jobs? How would we do school? How could we get from here to this vision we have over there?

Our Austin weekend gave us time to talk more about the logistics. We considered traveling out of the country versus staying in the U.S. We thought about landing in multiple locations for extended periods of time versus keeping our home base and traveling several times per year. We looked at homeschooling versus enrolling in schools wherever we settle. We’re clearly still working on refining our vision, but in Austin I felt a shift within me from simply thinking about the idea to really intending for it to happen.

For the first time, I even told a couple of friends about our vision, an initial step in trying it on and seeing how it feels to give voice to the picture in our heads. Of course, I’m doing that here, too, and it does feel a bit scary to be declaring this so far and wide. Fortunately, my personal and professional experience have prepared me to face this kind

of fear. I have tools to address the underlying beliefs that drive the fear. And I hold tight to the knowledge that our greatest adventures in life have always begun like this — with an idea, a destination, a vision, an intention. Then we figure out how to get from here to there.

All Things Begin with a Vision I believe that travel is an appropriate metaphor for any of our goals and dreams. We don’t have to know how we’re going to get from point A to point B in our lives before we create the vision for our destination. If we stop our flow of thoughts or ideas because we can’t figure out how we might get to some endpoint, we’ll never even get out of the driveway, let alone know where we want to go.

And, while there are numerous steps between envisioning and achieving an outcome (like information gathering, heart opening, hard labor, or clearing away limiting beliefs), we can’t begin in the middle of the trek. Clarity of vision and intention-setting come first.

I would argue that letting go is an important step, too, because life doesn’t often happen on our personal timeline, and we can’t always figure it out with our heads. If we get too caught up in how it’s all going to happen, we might stall the process. Not only can we get in our own way, but we sometimes get in the way of that universal energy (call it what you will) that is a powerful co-conspirator on our journey.

We must have a vision. Whether in travel or in life, we need to dream, ponder, explore, question, and open ourselves to possibilities outside of our current awareness.

All things begin here, with a vision and intention. So, Blake and I will keep pondering this next adventure and exploring all the possibilities. And when our vision is clear, then we’ll address how we get from here to there.

Kellie Mox catalyzes revolutionary healing for women through powerful conversations and whole-health mentoring. She is passionate about authentic, meaningful connections—to the self, others, and the world—and believes that healing flourishes when we strengthen these connections and embrace our wholeness.

Kellie is a certified coach and a student of homeopathic medicine with a master’s in health behavior and health education. She works with women virtually and in-person from her home base in Ann Arbor, Michigan.

Website: www.kelliemox.com Instagram: @kelliemox Facebook: www.facebook.com/kelliemoxcoachingandhealing March 2020 | 37

A Discovery in Tuscany

by Marilyn A. Pellini Photo by Giuseppe Mondi

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“S

ure enough, there it is!” She shouted, so proud of their find. The four weary travelers tumbled out of their rental car and exuberantly began snapping pictures of their discovery.

My cousin Barbara was always an avid traveler. She would drag her husband to far-off places, or go with her friends on river cruises to Red Hat Society conventions, and she adored sailing the Caribbean. Here is a story she related about following a travel dream.

A year earlier, Barbara and a friend found that they were enthralled with visiting Tuscany after reading the book Under the Tuscan Sun by Frances Mayes. They enticed their husbands to go along with the promise of extensively touring the Tuscan countryside. They booked a villa in the town of Camucia, at the foot of the mountain town of Cortona, and this only upped the anticipation of accomplishing the task of locating “Bramasole.” Chapter by chapter, they had learned of the author’s trials to restore this old villa to a functioning home in a manner befitting its antiquity.

In mid-May, the small entourage left the USA for Italy and their rental villa. Upon arriving, they settled their luggage into its proper place and immediately set off in search of Bramasole with information obtained from the Internet.

The directions turned out to be rather confusing, and they were not experiencing the slightest bit of progress when they spotted an Italian police car manned with working members of the Carbonieri.

The two women tried explaining their quest to the policemen, but with great difficulty due to the language barrier. The officers seemed to barely comprehend their intent, but they did radio their headquarters and indicated that they would help them locate Bramasole. All the couple had to do was follow the patrol car. The little caravan set off excitedly at breakneck speed, and were excited to reach their goal in short order. The Carbonieri, however, did not seem to really know where it was themselves from the directions that had been given by headquarters, and soon tooled off in an entirely different direction — losing them purposely, my cousin concluded. In their defense, though, the police might have had an emergency to tend to.

Both couples finally decided to go with their gut feeling, as they sensed they were on the right road and were determined to follow it to the very end. If this method of discovery was not successful, they would turn around and approach it from the opposite direction, which often makes things look entirely different. According to the description in the book, they knew that if they could find “the little shrine in the wall” — where neighbors paused to pray and adorn the statue of Mary with wildflowers — they would have no trouble identifying the nearby villa of Bramasole.

Their hunch proved to be right, and it was now easy to spot the house perched on the crest of a sunny hilltop. After their squeals of delight and picture-taking subsided, they wanted to do more without purposely being intrusive. As there was a little mailbox next to the shrine, they composed a short note telling Ms. Mayes of their delight at finding her beautiful home, and wished her many years of happiness living in the rural Italian countryside. They signed their names, but decided not to give an address or phone number, as that might be rather presumptuous, indicating they expected at least a reply or maybe even an extended correspondence.

Once the trip had ended and Barbara and the other travelers were back in the states, they spoke frequently of their little adventure — a daunting one, as they were already senior citizens at the time of that undertaking.

They all agreed, however, that their bags would be packed in but a second if they could feel that moment of euphoria once again. Traveling with a purpose was exhilarating, and then to actually find the object of their quest was a real thrill.

Marilyn Pellini has recently published a grief book titled Dear Al, A Widow’s Struggles and Remembrances. Her other credits as a writer include recent articles in Brick Magazine titled “Memories in My Button Jar” and “Restructuring My World,” pieces in Westchester Parent Magazine, Bay State Parent Magazine, On The Water, Balanced Rock, and others. In May 2018, she took the first place prize in the NY State Federation of Women’s Clubs writing contest.

March 2020 | 39

Photo by Arnel Hasanovic

I

Top 10 Reasons Why Packing Is Not My Friend

by Monica Brancheau

love to travel, but I hate to pack. Packing for me is about as bad as going to the dentist. It’s like having one of those nightmares where you realize you went to school with two different shoes on and wake up in a sweat, only to realize you aren’t in school anymore and you’re lying in bed. The stress, the anxiety, the uncertainty. The skill level needed to be an expert packer is résumé worthy.

These are my top 10 reasons I hate packing (in no particular order): 40 | The Brick Magazine

1.

How on earth will I know what I want to wear every day for 7-10 days? I pick my daily outfit based on my mood and the weather. I can’t really predict my mood seven days out, and we all know how reliable meteorologists are!

2.

With every outfit comes accessories — shoes, jewelry, particular undergarments, etc — just another layer of niceties to factor in.

3.

What if I forget...? This is my favorite game — or should I say, my biggest nightmare! What if I forget my phone charger, medicine, toothbrush, ID — all the important things?! If this doesn’t throw you into a tailspin of anxiety sprinkled with irrational stories, then please let me know what meds you take…

4.

Packing for kids. This could be its own article. As if packing for yourself isn’t bad enough, packing for your kids is like preparing for a war. You must think of everything that could possibly happen to ensure that your little people have everything they could need so the trip does not turn into National Lampoon’s Vacation.

5.

Making it all fit. Packing has turned into an art form that rivals origami. Are you a roller, a folder, or a cube packer? Do you have to stuff things into your shoes? What’s the very first thing you put in your suitcase? Do you pack in order of what you plan on wearing? Do you care more about how you fit your clothes or the wrinkles they’ll get?

6.

7.

8.

How long it takes! It doesn’t seem to matter how much time I give myself or how far ahead I pack — I still don’t seem to have enough time.

I’m sure that’s in large part due to my habits — when I pack, I’m rarely ever able to solely focus on packing. I get easily distracted by a question about homework or the dryer signal going off.

Then when I head back to where I left off, I inevitably can’t remember what I was looking for or where it is.

The suitcase shuffle. Now that we must pay for everything that goes on a plane, it seems more important than ever to be smart about your packing, and this includes what suitcase to use. I have travel envy for those people that can pack a seven-day trip into a single carry-on bag. I don’t know how they do it. The only reasonable explanation is that all they packed was a ton of linen and one pair of shoes. Or they’re borrowing Mary Poppins’ bag.

The weight game. Some suitcases weigh half of the allotted weight you’re allowed on a plane.

We’ve gotten into the habit of weighing ourselves and then weighing ourselves with the suitcase.

The level of excitement we have when our suitcase is right on the mark would make you think we’ve won the lottery! We’ve even been in those moments of desperation at the airport, taking things out of one suitcase and moving it

into something else. It’s always one of my favorite things to have our underwear being thrown through the air from one suitcase to another to entertain the eager travelers waiting in line.

9.

Unforeseen leaks and messes. So ladies: how many times have you opened your suitcase when you reach your destination to find your favorite sweater covered in lotion? Or your t-shirt covered in your eyeshadow? Or your entire suitcase smells like it took a bath in your perfume? Oh yes, the joys of exploding items.

And even the most prepared with their plastic bags may still experience this when your plastic bag explodes (this has happened to me!).

10. Lost luggage! After all the methodical rolling, the perfectly-executed outfits with matching accessories for each day (sometimes multiple a day), the perfect measurement and weight — your luggage is lost! All of the anxieties, stress, and what if’s are now compounded by a “What the hell do I do now?”

Although I hate packing, it would never stop me from taking a trip or having wanderlust for many parts of the world. That said, if someone who knew me well ever said they would pack for me, I would gladly take them up on their offer. Happy packing!

A mom of four who has had multiple careers and harbors a passion for dance, Monica Brancheau is a Michigan native and graduate of the University of Michigan who then never left Ann Arbor. She has decades of experience in working with children’s issues, from education to non-profit work in teaching in urban settings and non-profit management, marketing, and fundraising. When she’s not working, you can find her gardening, reading, writing, listening to music, and spending time with her treasured family.

March 2020 | 41

Stay Healthy on Vacation

by Lisa Profera, MD

N

o one wants to get sick on vacation. Planning ahead and being proactive is the key to minimizing that risk.

also enter your destination into the website and get the latest information on local outbreaks and other travel alerts.

Staying healthy on vacation starts weeks before your trip begins. Whether you’re traveling within the continental US or further away, it’s wise to check the latest travel recommendations and alerts posted on the Centers for Disease Control website: www. cdc.gov/travel. Certain vaccines are recommended or required for travel to or from remote areas, so you may need to see a doctor or even visit a travel clinic weeks in advance of your departure. You can

Supporting your immune system with a good probiotic even before you embark on your journey can be beneficial. Using good handwashing techniques or a good hand sanitizer is an important preventative measure. When I’m seated on the airplane, the first thing I do is wipe down all surfaces, including the seatbelt buckle, tray table, touch screens, and armrests. The same hand-sanitizing measures apply to other public places such as restrooms, restaurants, stores, cruise ships, etc.

42 | The Brick Magazine

Do you clean your hands after you’ve touched a menu, before you eat? When eating in more remote parts of the world, taking extra precautions with food and water sources can make a huge difference. Contracting traveler’s diarrhea, the flu, or other illnesses can really ruin your trip. When traveling in areas where the risk of a diarrheal illness is high (most of Asia, the Middle East, Africa, Mexico, Central and South America), the CDC recommends that you “choose food and drinks carefully.

Eat only foods that are cooked and served hot. Avoid food that has been sitting on a buffet. Eat raw fruits and vegetables only if you have washed them in clean water or peeled them. Only drink beverages from factorysealed containers, and avoid ice because it may have been made from unclean water.”

The CDC Traveler’s Health website provides excellent general information about avoiding getting sick. It also contains information regarding special travel circumstances: pregnancy, traveling with small children, and tips for those with chronic illness or immune deficiency. In addition, there is specific information about different circumstances, such as traveling on a cruise ship or hiking at higher altitudes.

Check the disease directory for areas of risk.

Planning to go somewhere warm for Spring Break? Please be aware of the increased risk of mosquito-borne illnesses (Zika virus, chikungunya, and dengue fever) in warm places like Florida, Mexico, and the Caribbean. Consider taking mosquitoavoidance precautions as outlined by the CDC — wear proper clothing and avoid exposure when the mosquitos are out (dawn and dusk). The CDC recommends DEET (a potential neurotoxin) or Picardin (which kills fish) for repelling mosquitos. As an alternative to DEET, the CDC recommends lemon eucalyptus oil. The brands that are registered with the FDA, such as Repel and Off Botanicals, contain a synthetic copy of lemon eucalyptus oil and not a pure, whole essential oil. I prefer to use natural products over synthetic chemicals whenever possible, so the brand I use is doTERRA® Lemon Eucalyptus oil or the blend called TerraShield*. Both are safe for all ages and are highly effective.

of sunburn is higher the closer to the equator you are. In general, I prefer reef-friendly sunscreens. There are some destinations like Hawaii that have banned the chemicals oxybenzone and octinoxate found in many popular brands.

These chemicals kill coral. Sunscreens that contain zinc oxide or titanium dioxide are considered safe. My favorite brand is made by BeautyCounter**. Their sunscreen does the job very well without the usual harmful chemicals.

Last but not least, I want to say a word about mental health. This is your vacation — don’t stress yourself out by over-doing or over-scheduling. Get away from electronics and reminders of work.

Sit back, relax, enjoy the beautiful place you are in. Take some deep breaths, smell the fresh air, and admire the landscape. Be present in your own mind or with friends and family. Keep yourself and your family members healthy so that you can enjoy every minute. Have a wonderful time, you deserve it! * Shop doTERRA Essential oils at www.mydoterra.com/drprofera ** Shop BeautyCounter at www.beautycounter.com/sarahball1

Lisa Profera, MD | Owner and FounderFounder of PROJUVU MD Aesthetics and Lifestyle Medicine in Ann Arbor, MI Expert Injector doTERRA Essential Oils Wellness Advocate BEMER Independent Distributor | CrossFit® Level 1 Trainer www.projuvu.com | 1-844-PROJUVU | drprofera@gmail.com FaceBook business page: www.facebook.com/projuvu/

Proper sunscreen should always be used, even here in Michigan, but remember to be extra cautious when travelling south. The sun’s rays can be more intense, and the risk

Request to join my Closed FaceBook group, Dr. Lisa’s Essential Oils Forum: www.facebook.com/groups/1952063771691445/ Instagram: www.instagram.com/youressentialoilsdoctor/

Disclaimer: Please note that the information in this article or any of its references has been designed to help educate the reader in regard to the subject matter covered. This information is provided with the understanding that the author and any other entity referenced here are not liable for the misconception or misuse of the information provided. It is not provided in order to diagnose, prescribe, or treat any disease, illness, or injured condition of the body. The provider of this information shall have neither liability nor responsibility to any person or entity with respect to any loss, damage, or injury caused or alleged to be caused directly or indirectly by this information. The information presented is in no way intended as a substitute for medical counseling or care. Anyone suffering from any disease, illness, or injury should consult a qualified health care professional. These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA.

March 2020 | 43

Ready, Set, DIY Retreat!

by Fredi Baker Photo by Andrea Davis

44 | The Brick Magazine

I

n this busy, noisy world, I find that some of my most memorable journeys have been ones where I set aside time to unplug, get quiet, and go within. To retreat.

Sometimes I do this for a few days, maybe even a week.

Other times I retreat for the day, which can be just as powerful in its own way. There are many different ways to retreat, and each one is valuable and meaningful.

People go on a retreat for many different reasons. Perhaps it’s to find clarity and direction when they are feeling ungrounded and a bit lost. Sometimes it’s to get a jump start on a new project, to find peace, motivation, purpose, or even find completion for something that is ending. Maybe it’s to detox or shift old, destructive habits that aren’t working, or even to reconnect with one’s values, creativity, etc. Someone might go on a retreat to deepen the practice of things like yoga, meditation, writing, or even knitting. The reasons are endless.

Perhaps the idea of spending quality time getting back in touch with what really matters sounds appealing to you.

One way to go on a retreat — perhaps the most traditional — is to attend an established retreat that has a leader, a specific purpose, and a date and destination. There is usually a retreat fee involved, some travel, a retreat leader guiding you through the process, an agenda, as well as food and lodging provided for you. Think of this as an all-inclusive retreat package where all you have to do is commit to the experience. I attended an amazing writer’s retreat at the Mabel Dodge Luhan House in Taos, New Mexico a few years ago that was, quite literally, lifechanging. The key was not only the magic of the place, but my openness and willingness to be uncomfortable as I explored my creativity and my life. I still carry that experience with me, and it inspires me on a daily basis.

But there’s another way to retreat that can be even more rewarding. Retreating from your daily life doesn’t have to involve extensive travel or expense. There is power and magic in creating your own DIY retreat in a way that feels authentic for you. Basically, it’s the idea of spending dedicated, structured time alone for a specific purpose.

In fact, some of my most memorable retreats have been ones that I created for myself. Since I live alone, it’s simple for me to block out time on my calendar and unplug in my home. It’s not always easy, as there are distractions in my little corner of the world (if you have a family or even a roommate, this can become a bit more complicated).

If it feels like there are too many distractions in your home, you can always go to an alternate location. It can be fun to get away to an Airbnb or a hotel, or to go camping, etc. Make sure that wherever you choose suits the purpose of your retreat.

In order to begin planning your DIY retreat, you need a direction, focus, purpose, dream, or vision, even if it’s fuzzy and involves many unknowns. When you decide on why you want to retreat, the other pieces will begin to come together into a theme, and from there you can build a meaningful experience.

Mind you, retreating from your daily life is different from taking the day off, a staycation, or a weekend getaway.

This is not the time to catch up on emails, answer texts, throw in a load of laundry, or squeeze in chores. There is a distinct focus to every retreat, and a specific beginning, middle, and end. It’s about being and doing things in support of the reason you are retreating in the first place.

For me, it always involves an element of coming back to my values and my creativity. Hopefully, by the end of the retreat, one leaves with inspiration and motivation.

There is a certain amount of pre-planning and discipline for a successful DIY retreat, and the results are well worth this effort, I promise. Once you’ve decided the retreat theme, the logistics, and the location, set a distinct timeframe (for example, Saturday from 9 AM to 5 PM) and stick to it. Plan out your food, drink, etc. so your mind will be free to focus on the day or days. Wear comfortable clothes, and let people know you are unavailable during this time. Be sure to unplug, which can be challenging to be sure — but you’re worth it, right?

Now it’s time to create an agenda that supports you. Trust me when I tell you that it’s crucial to work this out in advance, or else it’s too easy to get distracted, procrastinate, and otherwise sabotage your own best intentions. Retreating can involve an element of risk, facing the unknown and becoming uncomfortable. It’s part of the process, and committing to an agenda helps you stay the course.

As I mentioned earlier, every successful retreat consists of three basic things: the beginning, the middle, and the end. Imagine you are seeing a play. In the beginning, the curtain goes up, and at the end it goes down. And the

March 2020 | 45

Photo by Lucija Ros

middle takes you on a journey — often into the unknown.

Sometimes there are surprises, emotions, ideas, and even epiphanies; there maybe some laughter and/or tears, and by the time the curtain closes, you will have had an unforgettable experience.

The beginning of the retreat sets the stage as you become present and mindful of what lies ahead. There is an element of ritual — you can choose what feels right for you. Often there is some kind of centering or meditation, as well as setting an intention for the retreat. Now is the time to go within, open to the purpose and experience of the retreat, and begin to focus and reconnect to the reason you are retreating.

When you design the middle of your retreat, remember that it can be whatever you want that supports the intention for your retreat. Let your creativity come into play as you imagine what is meaningful. Here are some ideas of things to include (and this is just a tiny list): • • • • • • • • •

journal writing making a vision board mind mapping creating something that inspires you practicing self-care asking yourself, “What do I want to create?” taking a nap having a block of time to focus on ____ giving yourself permission for ____

46 | The Brick Magazine

• • • • • • • •

laughing out loud or crying letting go nourishing yourself with healthy food and plenty of water making something with your hands (for me, it’s knitting) going for a walk connecting with nature meditation or other mindfulness practice movement such as yoga, dancing, swimming, etc.

Now it’s your turn — what would you like to include in your own retreat?

The end? As the curtain closes on your retreat, create a ritual that honors the experience, and brings it to an inspiring end. Be kind to yourself, and allow plenty of time to re-enter your world feeling renewed, refreshed, inspired, and motivated.

Fredi Baker is a Master Certified Coach who believes in the power of the creative process.

For over 20 years, she’s coached people who are ready to break out of where they are and lean into their dreams, their vision, and their creativity. She helps them get inspired, focused, and motivated to live by their own rules and make a difference in the world. In her spare time, you will find her playing with yarn and needles — whether she’s knitting colorful, chunky wall hangings or designing shawls. Thus far, five of her patterns have been published, and she delights in seeing other knitters working with her designs and making their own works of art.

Find her at fredibaker.com

Dr. Lisaâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s CBD Solutions Superior CBD products that are: Formulated by an MD. Locally grown cannabis, not hemp.

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1-844-PROJUVU (844-776-5888) email: drprofera@gmail.com All products contain < 0.3% THC. None of the statements in this ad have been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA). They are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. None of the statements should be construed as dispensing medical advice, making claims regarding the cure of diseases, nor can this product prevent or cure any disease state.

These products are meant to be used as a complimentary or adjunctive supplement. Be aware that potential drug interactions may occur. You should consult with your personal physician, March 2020 | 47 especially if you are taking prescription medications, are pregnant or breastfeeding, or have any pre-existing injuries or medical conditions prior to use.

for personal

& planetary thriving

Wanderlust Within

by Morella Devost, EdM, MA

Photo by Steve Halama

48 | The Brick Magazine

Ah, the wanderlust that beckons Come. See. Taste. Touch.

Savor these things that are wonderful So different from home…

And we accept the invitation In the search for a new adventure Or perhaps a new skill A touching of the thing that had been unknown Until now…

The tales of an ecosystem And the humans who carry her earth in their blood The revelations of history and place That contrast with our own Showing us who we are more closely…

How we react To wafts of strange scents Foreign streets and inscrutable words Lost bags and missed flights And whether we delight in being open

W

And are willing to be moved To discover who we become Through our journeys...

Sometimes we go to escape Fleeing a dissatisfaction that is not at home But at home within us...

And sometimes we go In search for ourselves To see a new facet in a new light And reveal what has kept us bound And realize while abroad That home and adventure lay both within That peace and contentment Spring from the heart...

Sometimes we find a new home in our travels And sometimes we travel and find There’s no place like home.

–by Morella Devost

hen I sat down to write for this issue of The Brick, there were so many things I wanted to say that they came out as a poem.

creates the opportunity for significant internal shifts, especially if we sow the seeds for them and then harvest their fruit.

Having done a fair amount of international travel since I was six months old, I’ve always noticed how every trip changes me. As a child, my mother suggested that I journal so I would remember the trip. Over the years, my travel-journal habit became a deep exploration of the uncharted parts of me. Whenever I travel, I pull out my journal and explore my anticipation, my excitement, and my concerns as soon as I board my flight. I examine where I am in my life and always set intentions for my journey. And for some reason, whenever I’m on a plane, I instantly reach a depth of insight that is not always accessible on land.

Over the years, I’ve become a big believer in the power of retreats and solo journeys. When we go on a trip with the deliberate intention to create a shift in our lives, it is unavoidable that one will take place. And the great thing is that you don’t need to go to the other side of the world for this to happen.

In a very real sense, traveling inevitably puts us in a position of being open and vulnerable. Because we are surrounded by new things, we shift into a state of learning and receiving. We enter a bit of a semihypnotic state. We are more open to being changed than when we are immersed in our routines, our things, and our subconscious programs. This is why traveling

One of my most monumental trips was when I drove two hours to a Buddhist retreat center in Vermont, and spent four days on a solo retreat — meditating, journaling, and writing poetry. It cost me next to nothing because they only charged me for lodging and food. I came home with profound insights, and healed from a broken heart.

These days, I am living the life of a nomad. I live in an RV with my partner and stepdaughter. Home today is Key West, steps away from the beach, with snorkeling and kayaking as our afternoon exercise. The personal transformation and the insights we’ve had on this journey have not been insignificant. And aside from the great many

March 2020 | 49

positives of a life of adventure, we’ve also grown a deeper love and appreciation for home, back in Vermont.

May you wander and lose yourself to then find your greater self, over and over again. As the planet turns, so do we.

We’ve realized what pieces we’ve been searching for outside of ourselves, but have always been there to find within us.

Let’s face it — happiness and unhappiness, contentment and dissatisfaction, will follow you wherever you go.

Morella Devost helps people turn their pain and challenges into their greatest source of strength. After receiving two master’s degrees in counseling from Columbia University, she became a Clinical Hypnotherapist, NLP facilitator, and Reiki Master. Morella is a Venezuelan-Vermonter who works with people all over the world from her RV-office as she travels the US with her family. She is the host of the Thrive With Morella TV-radio-podcast show.

So, my friend, I definitely believe that for personal and planetary thriving, getting outside our little circle of the familiar — whether it’s five or five thousand miles away — is where we’ll find the most accessible growth and transformation.

50 | The Brick Magazine

www.thrivewithmorella.com www.facebook.com/ThriveWithMorella

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