The Golden Age of True Love

GOLDEN AGE OF TRUE LOVE

POEMS BY MOLLY GORELICK COLLAGES BY SARAH KENNEDY

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“I’m over here trying to do nice things. I can’t concentrate, all this fighting.

They’re talking about fucking relationships.

My sneakers are dirty!”

-Paul D. DelVecchio Jr., publicly known as DJ Pauly D from The Jersey Shore “I have had sex....and Jesus still loves me” -Alabama Hannah, also know as Hannah Brown from The Bachelorette, Season 15

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Therefore You Should Know The Truth I’m always on my best behavior, always on my ‘never fall in love at the Jersey Shore’ shit.

My Gym, Tan, Laundry is Gynecologist, Trader Joe’s, LinkedIn! So what, my GTL makes me look SOL? At least theirs gets them paid.

TV taught me that nothing good ever happens in a hot tub.

But I know the ocean has piss and shit in it too.

I learned how to breathe underwater at the Jersey Shore.

It doesn’t make me any less clean.

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WHEN YOU TALK ABOUT THE FLOOD I START TO GET NERVOUS 6

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Crack On Then My bum has been squat thrust To the cusp of fuckability And my vibes are ready To be caught.

Drinking water from a bottle Branded with my own name Like thirst is the only feeling I’ve ever known.

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The Recoupling Speech I’d like to couple up with this void because…..Oh, I’m sorry, did I really say void, not boy? Well. It is what it is. I’d like to couple up with this void because his emptiness really just brings something to the villa that nobody else does. He’s got that eternal, dark, and handsome thing going on that I’m really into, and I’m just so excited to share a bed with him tonight. It almost feels like I’ve been sharing a bed with him my whole life, you know what I mean?

So, the void I’d like to couple up with is……..Deep Feelings of Never Being Enough! Oh I’m absolutely buzzing!

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Can I Steal You For a Sec? All of the men emerge from the limo like they’re being reborn from some fucked up womb.

Every limo-begotten bro sees me in my adult prom dress and wants me, or a blue check on Instagram, or business for their CBD oil pyramid scheme.

I’ll give a rose to two of the five Matts, to Alex with the sob story about his premature hair loss, to Brian with the tight ass, to Paul who’s only hot when he speaks French, to Kyle who played college football for one season before he failed out, to John who hasn’t been sober this whole time, to Timothy who won’t shut up about graduating from Yale, to Connor, Steven, Danny, and Blake, each one a “model-slash-personal trainer,” to Anthony, the virgin, to Peter, the born-again virgin, to Andrew with the annoying catchphrase because the producers told me to, and fine, a rose to the third Matt because he’s 6’3.

They all say The Notebook is their favorite movie.

Has anyone ever been anywhere for all the right reasons?

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WHEN YOU TALK ABOUT FOREVER I NOD WITHOUT KNOWING WHAT YOU MEAN

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An Eternal Boom Boom Room The algorithm is always working against us, and, I get it, but sometimes I get so horny in a way that even big data can’t explain.

Can I get some targeted ads for my horniness?

When I find my perfect match, who will not be my algorithmic perfect match, because science doesn’t always account for our happiness, we will exist in an eternal Boom Boom Room, fucking under neon lights while all of humanity waits on the other side for us to come back out but we never do.

The research shows that all I want is to be filled, to be filth, to be filmed.

Everyone knows what’s happening but they’ll never know how it feels, which is sooooooooo good, which I always say in my best “Tight Teen Pussy Gets Creampied For First Time and LOVES IT” voice, which makes me sound like I’m dying but in a hot way.

This is forever, baby, this moment is soooooo real.

It will always feel like we’re fucking even when we’re not.

Even when we’re not supposed to, which is all the time, but fuck it, fuck data, fuck light, fuck weather, fuck bikinis, fuck double vodka sodas, fuck D-list celebrity, fuck money, fuck destiny.

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A good fuck always makes me think I can beat what’s supposed to be.

A good fuck always makes me believe in forever.

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