Sink Obituary

Thursday, December 16th, 2021 Sink obituary

Ian Letts

News Editor

During the recent bathroom item-related killing spree by a small minority of Arcata High School students, a variety of notable figures have fallen. While each killing is devastating, none of them are as heartbreaking and high profile as the leftmost 100’s wing boys bathroom sink.

According to AHS Principal Jim Monge it met its demise in the chaos of the week after homecoming.

It was concluded that the cause of death was blunt force trauma both when it was ripped from the wall and crashed to the ground.

Even though the exact method of killing couldn’t be determined, it has been theorized by a variety of students that the killer was standing (and possibly jumping) on the sink just seconds before it’s death. This horrifying turn of events has saddened our community, as the sink was kind and welcoming to all hands that passed underneath its steady stream of water.

But let’s not mourn the loss of this incredible Arcata personality any longer. Let’s remember the sink for all of the incredible time and service it has given us. Let’s celebrate it for its outstanding lifetime of cleaning our bacteria-covered hands. Let’s think back on the sink fondly, and reminisce about the incredible companionship it provided to countless AHS students.

The sink featured a very high quality of water flow, while simultaneously saving as much as possible by shutting down the millisecond your hand was removed from the lever.

This is not unlike its counterparts in certain Arcata High bathrooms, but it is still worth noting as it was an immaculate feature.

Additionally, while it shared many of the same characteristics as its two counterparts in the bathroom, it was loved by all who appreciated its easy accessibility because of its left most position on the wall.

In fact, paired with the other two, the bathroom provided a perfect stall to sink ratio, where a student would never have to wait more than 10 seconds for an open sink.

With one of the triplets gone, boys using the bathroom can expect longer lines because of the generally larger amount of people cluttering up the area.

The bathroom simply doesn’t feel the same without the sink in its usual place of residence.

Before our loss, the sinks evenly filled the wall, adding to the overall feng shui of the bathroom. Without the leftmost fixture, the room feels empty…almost like the room is in mourning with us.

While it fell from life more than two months ago, the students can still pay their respects to it in its former location, which now features only bare plumbing.

The majority of students and the entire staff at AHS hope that the trend of destroying bathroom items does not continue.

“If you see something, say something,” is the sentiment voiced by

Ty Franklin/PEPPERBOX Pepperbox staff offer their condolences to the perished sink Monge on this matter. He continued that students must take responsibility for their actions and pride in their school in order for these issues to stop. The AHS population will be happy to know that the sink will be replaced. However, that is not to say that this new sink will ever come close to filling the void of the friend we lost.