Giving Your Children Calm

give your children

CALM

WRITTEN BY JORDANA TURCOTTE

It seems that kids have been expected to rise to all sorts of challenges over these last 12 months. We always state that children are resilient, but even they have their limits. How much is just too much? Creating a sense of calm in the home will help.

What can we do as parents to help?

Clutter and disorganization is very distracting. I always say if you want to do something that will instantly affect your mood and give you a boost, tackle your bedroom. Laying down to bed with a mess staring at you does indeed stress you. And then waking up to it starts your day in the worst way. Clearing clutter from your bedroom and making it a serene, calming space can be life changing.

Today, most kids are spending an enormous amount of time in their rooms. It may literally be sleep, play and school all in one. That is a big demand on one room. Creating a sense of calm in that space can give the child a boost that may be very much needed right now.

Ideally, your child should be involved in the decluttering/set-up of the space. Everything that should not be in the room should be taken out; for example, anything that isn’t theirs or isn’t being used by them. This may crowd another area or create an issue that needs to be solved but it is important for the space to be solely for the purposes they need.

Kids must be taught that you can’t own EVERYTHING. If everything is important, nothing is important. They go through fazes, outgrow items and just plain break things. Those items should be tackled first before you start on usable/fitting items. Then do one type of item at a time: books, clothes, art supplies, toys, etc. It is much easier to stay in the same grouping of items and make progress. This may take days, as you don’t want to overwhelm them.

Decision fatigue is a thing.

As a parent, when a child decides to let go of something they loved or that cost a lot or that we as a parent love, be careful to not impart your feelings on their stuff. Celebrate their good decision and let it go. If you want to put in a keepsake box for you, that is fine but if they don’t want it now, they won’t want it later. Two musts for every bedroom are a hamper and a garbage can. Most of the floor clutter fits into these two categories – trash or laundry. If time and money permits, a little scenery change can work wonders too – a new bed in a bag, a new paint color, a comfy rug and/or bean chair to read on the floor. Set a budget and let the child weigh in. A pretty space with a new touch lends itself to being maintained more as you don’t want to mess it up.

For all spaces in the home, to create calm you typically need open surfaces and floors. Having bins for each type of item means less on top of the bedside table, their dresser, their desk. If something can only go on the floor, try to think about placing it in the least seen corner. Check in often on the space. See if they are enjoying it or if they need anything else to make it the best space for them. A new sense of calm can give them the strength to push forward during these difficult times. SF