MARS Jacob Kruger

MARS

the red blur takes my hand as i float away, it guides me into the darkness and to the other side. perhaps it knows something i don’t, with its confident eyes and wide smile. i am struck with the feeling of peace as we cross a barrier of stars; they seep into my being as i take the deepest breath of my existence. i notice that the breath is different. it feels as though i am made of air and what i breathe is fire. it doesn’t hurt. the flames turn me around and i see what i have always been looking for: glowing, all-knowing. searching, surging. feeling, healing. unconditional, safe. supportive, yet independent. close, yet a lifetime away.

it’s taking pieces of stars and adding them to its collection. slowly and slowly and slowly, it glows a little more, until i am meant to join its solitude. so we can be lonely together. feel each other’s warmth. take pieces of each other until we are nothing and everything at the same time. we are never close enough.

never.

the stars make life easier. together, we create our own little world. we leave the world behind and the ghosts of the past let our souls rest. as we hold each other, we forget that time exists. we stare at our imperfections until we realize how perfect they are.

i feel beautiful for the first time in my life. i smile, and i realize that this is the only time i have ever meant it. and i will mean it as long as i stay here.