Beginning Anew Cooper Payne

Beginning Anew

If I could describe my parent’s divorce in one word it would be sudden. It isn’t like the good times outweighed the bad times, or the bad outweighed the good. They were just different people.

I remember the drive home from school that day. The damp air doused my skin with goosebumps as I asked my dad, “Can you close the window, please?” My dad trekked through downtown traffic while I stared out the window with an unrelenting smile. The house I had grown up in came into sight as we drove slowly down into the neighborhood. My feet wriggled with excitement to play online video games with my friends. The pure happiness I felt there and then could never be replicated.

Dad and I walked up the long staircase to the door. There were thirtyeight steps. I had been counting each step, for good luck, since I had learned to count. That day I forgot to count the steps. As we stepped inside, a normal day turned into a day I would never forget. I reluctantly saw the missing art and furniture from around the house. The melanin tore from my skin until it was white as snow. I knew exactly what was happening, but my heart wasn’t willing to accept it. I was scared: what would become of my family? What would become of me?

My parents sat me down to listen, one on either side. My heart was beating quicker and quicker, like it was trying to run away. I tried to look at them as they told me they were separating, but I couldn’t. I knew they were anticipating an emotional reaction from me, and rightfully so. All that I could spill out of my mouth was, “Okay.” They seemed to understand I needed some time alone and left me in my room. I stared at the dark computer screen blankly. Not sure if I was angry, or sad, or just confused, I balled my fists in rage. Shuddering in my chair, I was a boiling pot of emotional anguish about to overflow.

I thought that the feeling would never end.