MY Nov/Dec Issue by MY Magazine

M I C H I G A N

Quality, Fit & Design

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from the publisher

Begin Each Day with a Grateful Heart It’s hard to believe we are coming to the end of 2014. What an exciting, exhausting, exhilarating year it has been. In the first half of the year, my oldest daughter, Brittney, got married, while my other daughter, Jennie, graduated from Northern Michigan University. In the second half of the year, my son, Andy, continued to work towards his degree in IT at Kirkwood Community College in Iowa, and my youngest son, Reis, moved to Mt. Pleasant to attend Central Michigan University, now in his 2nd year. This is the first time in 29 years that I have not had at least one of my children living with me. Crazy! Now, in December, I am going to be a grandmother; yes, Brittney is having a baby girl. Wow! What a year this has been. I am truly blessed. This year has also been the year of change for my business. After owning MY magazine for almost 6 years, I am expanding by licensing MY to other areas around the country. What does this mean? It means that I am offering a business opportunity for others to own their own MY magazine in their area. By creating a community of publishers, it enables us to empower and inspire others all over the country, and to help local communities by offering a publication that truly cares about their businesses and the people who read it. I am offering this opportunity because I believe the path you choose in life should not only be something you love, but something that will help to encourage and inspire others. If you or someone you know has a business mind, are creative, or just wants to help your community to thrive, send me an e-mail; it never hurts to inquire. Who knows, it may be just what you are looking for. As always, I want to thank all of you who support MY magazine, it is much appreciated.

Maria Savoy – Founder, Publisher maria@mymagazineoakland.com

“Don’t worry about failures, worry about the chances you miss when you don’t even try.”

-Jack Canfield

8 | MY Magazine

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MY Magazine | 9

On the Cover

m i c h i g a n

November/December 2014

MY Magazine

M I C H I G A N

HAPPY

Holidays

Oakland County

Nov/Dec 2014

Quality, Fit & Design

CEO/Publisher • Maria Savoy Art Director • Jennifer Knutson Contributing Photographers

www.mymagazineoakland.com

Copy Editor • Jennifer Lareau-Gee

Olga by Insightpix Media

Social Media • Julie Van Ameyde

Robert Olinski

Photographer • Steve Ragland

Wardrobe Stylist • Jessica Kocik

Marketing Expert • Donna Barbera

<< November/December 2014 Volume 2

Barbara Krajenke Judy Lipson Holly CaSaroll

Mary Meldrum Laurie Solomon Kathi Jones-Cutler

BRICKER-TUNIS FURRIER

Photography by Steve Ragland Stylist Jessica Kocik Make up by Talya Ashford for Beauty Box Hair by David Of C2 for Beauty Box Hair assistant by Tiffany L West Photo assistant Robert Olinski Long black dress with lace sleeve and back detail, Cache Somerset Collection, $198. Black Swakara Evening Cape with Black Fox Trim, Bricker-Tunis Furs, West Bloomfield 248.855.9200, www.brickertunisfur.com. Classic diamond tennis necklace in 18k white gold, 14.80 Carats, $25,000 Vintage 5.15 Carat Pear diamond ring, $65,000 Platinum Art deco diamond bracelet, 12 carats of European cut diamonds, $20,000 White gold “H” cuff by Willow Roe of Los Angeles Diamond stud earrings set in platinum weight 3 carats each, $60,000 All Jewelry available exclusively at Wachler Estate Collection, 248.712.4917 WachlerEstate.com

Contributors >>

Dawn Bause Elaine Grohman John Schalter

Savoy Publishing, LLC/MY Magazine 3050 Union Lake Rd., Suite F8 | Commerce Township, MI 48382 Telephone: 248.556.1521 | Email: info@mymagazineoakland.com Web: mymagazineoakland.com

Advertising Inquires >>

Advertising inquiries email info@mymagazineoakland.com or call 248.556.1521

Find Us ... >>

Visit us on the web at mymagazineoakland.com to view our online digital edition, locations on where to find us, or subscribe to have MY delivered directly to your home.

MY Magazine >>

MY magazine makes every effort to provide accurate information in advertising, editorial content and placement: however, we cannot make any claims as to the accuracy of information provided by advertisers or editorial contributors and will accept no responsibility or liability for inaccurate information or placement.

own your own magazine

Are you interested in owning your own MY magazine specifically for your area? Call or e-mail us now! Be a part of a growing community of publishers who want to empower and inspire others, all while helping their communities thrive. We are an unbeatable source of marketing for local businesses and an educational, inspirational and empowering magazine for women to enjoy. It all begins here and It’s easy, all you have to do is give us a call or send us an e-mail stating that you are interested, and in what area. Call 248-556-1521 or e-mail Maria at maria@mymagazineoakland.com 10 | MY Magazine

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MY Magazine | 11

c o n t e n t s on the cover

Quality, Fit & Design Bricker-Tunis Furs

MY life

Publisher Notes Courageous Conversations

Holiday Glam At Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Best

18 Serendipity 24

Life Coach It Takes Two

Strong Women

Inspiring Women

Our Need for Heroes Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Time to Look Within

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Holiday Gift Guide

Event Bliss Party Planning, Invitations and Gifts Michigan Peak Performance Helping Children Advance in Life Danny D Making Beautiful Music

Bullying: How to Protect Your Child

Holiday Time vs.Real Time Stress Management

Letting Go ...

Create Calm During the Holidays

56 12 | MY Magazine

42 44

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MY Magazine | 13

Courageous Conversations W

By Elaine Grohman

ords can be challenging. From birth, we are immersed in a sea of words. For the entirety of our lives thereafter we express ourselves through the gift of language. We assign meaning to words, which we then create and re-create our own unique understandings for, and they affect our relationships to others and ourselves. As we navigate the world of words we can be guided by them, hurt by them, caressed by them, or limited by them. Words direct us in unseen ways, long before we fully comprehend them. Words can quickly be strung together and hurled from us like a whip that has been unleashed to a target. Words can also be soft and melodious; full of care, comfort, and understanding. Words can be held in, stewing within us and ricocheting through our system like an old fashioned pinball machine, making lots of noise as they bounce from one side to the other in unpredictable directions. Words can also direct us towards greater insights, deepening our relationships with one another. Words can be powerful, poignant, caring, damaging, harsh, or healing. Words can bring us to our knees, or raise us to our feet. Words are challenging and beautiful. Words can provide a depth of communication that we sorely need so that through them, we can rediscover their purpose—to help us understand one another. Conversations—genuine, interactive conversations— are often hard to come by. Instant messaging and silly smiling emoticons have replaced the beauty of heartfelt conversations between human beings. The nuances of tone and tenor of the human voice is a gift that we ought to reintroduce into our language so that we might get to know one another again. Our words are intimately tied to our emotions. When our emotions are left unexamined, our words can produce misunderstandings, hardships, and problems, both big and small. Most of us are taught to speak, but few of us

14 | MY Magazine

are taught the art of conversation. Conversation requires communication, but communication requires understanding and thoughtful introspection so our conversations plant seeds of respect and growth for all parties concerned. It is time for us to learn the thoughtful use of language. When we are thoughtful in our language, then we can be prepared when it is necessary to engage in courageous conversations. Lately, it seems that things have been quickened to a more intense state, as if the Universe is pushing us to get our collective act together. It is times such as these that we are given the opportunity to learn the art of Courageous Conversation. In this present time, if you find yourself reacting instead of acting, perhaps it is time to consider having your own Courageous Conversation. A Courageous Conversation is one in which you have thoroughly thought through the intent of your message—that of healing, understanding, and truthfulness. Using deliberate and clear communication so that there is no need for manipulation, unkindness or disrespect. It is time for us all to have respectful, courageous conversations with ourselves as well as others, thereby releasing us from wounds of the past in order to create a more meaningful future. Courageous Communication has one singular foundation—Love. Love for yourself. Love for understanding. Love for life.

Elaine Grohman is a speaker, author, energy healer and angel reader. She has a private practice in Farmington, MI. For appointments please contact Lainie Rubio at 248.320.6532 or visit her website at www.elainegrohman.com

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MY Magazine | 15

ask the expert By Holly CaSaroll

What Treatments Are Celebrities Doing For Their Skin?

We have all been enticed by television commercials that have a celebrity claiming it is the reason for why their skin is immaculate, but it that really true? Or is it because that celebrity is paid to say those things? Or, is it that their skin is the result of facial and laser treatments they are having behind the scenes?

MICRO-WOUNDING

The truth is that celebrities have access to the best of the best, but sometimes it is strictly a paid endorsement where the celebrity may not believe in the product at all. When it comes to professional facial treatments, usually they are devoted followers of a skin guru, and that esthetician will get featured or seek publicity for having them as a client. This better represents the actual belief the celebrity has in the treatment, as their facial and laser services are not a paid endorsement. This doesn’t mean it’s the best and most scientifically sound treatment per se, as we have all heard of celebs having “snake oil” treatments to look younger, so buyer beware.

INFRARED BODY THERAPY

How do we sift through the fads and hype to really know what the best treatments are? Here is a brief guide on some of my favorite treatments that give the red carpet glow of the stars:

Get substances that create change in the skin past our protective barriers and down deep to where it needs to be for the ultimate in skin rejuvenation. Technologies such as fractional lasers, needling, currents, and ultrasound help to repair years of damage in the skin, in a relatively short period of time.

Infrared wraps induce weight loss and lose inches (burns around 1,200+ calories), increase circulation and immunity, benefit the cardiovascular system, stimulate metabolic detoxification, help skin tone, decrease pain, decrease cellulite, and reduce swelling and inflammation by improving the flow of the lymph system.

IV THERAPY

IV therapy brings vitamins, amino acids, minerals, and other nutrients/botanicals into the body quickly, bypassing the digestive system, for greatly improving overall health. It targets the nutrients directly into the cells. Therefore it can speed healing where deficiencies are present, as well as allow absorption where oral supplementation will not suffice.

ULTHERAPY

Voted the #1 in-office treatment in the US, with no downtime, this mostly once a year treatment can give you a pick me up...literally. It is the only FDA cleared treatment to lift the brows, jaw line, and neck, and only takes about 90 min. There is wide discrepancy on how this treatment is performed, so make sure you talk to people who have pictures, and performed thousands of treatments.

LUXURY FACIALS

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16 | MY Magazine

Holly CaSaroll, Founder of FACE Skincare~Medical~Wellness An Integrative Skin and Wellness Clinic 248.663.0161 • facebeautyscience.com

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Divorce Diaries

Surrender

What does this really mean? By Annette Benson

FINANCIALLY EMPOWERING

WOMEN

“Dedicated to the success of our clients through quality planning and thoughtful advice.”

urrender, to me, meant to give in, to be weak. You surrender when you’ve exhausted all your options and you’ve failed; game over. To surrender meant that the other person, the one you’re fighting against, won the battle. Frankly speaking, losing was not an option for me.

SINCLAIR

Then recently, I experienced something that changed my definition of the word “surrender.” The experience did more than change its meaning, I felt what it meant to truly surrender.

PATRICE L. J. SINCLAIR Certified Financial Planner™ Certified Estate Planner™ Senior Vice President, Investments Investment Management Consultant

I had been representing a wonderful man for many years through his divorce, and the years that followed, with the goal and intention of helping his ex wife, the mother of his three children, get much needed mental health treatment. So, I fought. I took down the therapist who was untrained and inexperienced in dealing with the magnitude of this woman’s multiple diagnoses. I had the wife’s treating psychiatrist removed from the case after I deposed him. He admitted that he did not see the value in reading his patients’ medical/psychiatric records after being provided with two banker boxes of my client’s former wife’s medical records, including multiple hospitalizations for attempted suicide. This psychiatrist, well known in the Bloomfield area, testified that he was able to form an opinion of this woman based upon the first intake meeting. Despite being told that she had been found legally incapacitated by the Court, he said he just thought she was a bored, rich housewife.

691 N. Squirrel Road, Suite 222 Auburn Hills, MI 48326 Tel: 248.276.2828 . 800.525.2731 Fax: 866.522.9594 sinclairwmg.com patrice.sinclair@raymondjames.com

Lynn Darmon

Then there were her attorneys. She went through a few, as well as “teams” of attorneys, who, instead of ethically and morally doing their job to protect their client, took advantage of her by challenging my every attempt to get this woman into the care of the appropriate mental health professionals. The Court? Her guardian? Let’s just say that good intentions without follow through aren’t enough. I warned her attorneys, the Judge, and the guardian that she would kill herself if we didn’t get her the help she desperately needed.

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Unfortunately, I was right. Last month, this helpless, mentally ill, unprotected mother of three ended her life. I knew that I did everything in my power and control to help this woman, but all I could feel for weeks was sadness, anger, frustration, and disappointment. Then, with crystal clear clarity, I found and felt the meaning of the word surrender, acceptance. The battle that I fought for years was over. There was no benefit in replaying the scenes from that horror film. I had to accept what was, not what could have (and should have) been. To surrender is to accept being present in the moment. Acceptance does not mean agreement. I remain committed to accountability and I am confident that the State of Michigan will properly investigate and deal with the mental health professionals accordingly. As for me, I learned the true meaning of what it feels like to surrender. I let go of what was no longer. I accepted the reality, which includes knowing I fulfilled my moral and ethical obligations as a lawyer and as a caring human being. I’m here to answer your questions, develop a strategy, and secure your future. If you are interested in a free consultation, call me at 248.646.2600. VISIT MY NEW WEBSITE WWW.ANNETTEBENSONLAW.COM.

31224 Mulfordton • Ste. D • Farmington Hills • 248.860.1121 www.heavenswhisper.net • connectwithlynn@yahoo.com lynn@heavenswhisper.net • Facebook: Lynn Darmon

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MY Magazine | 17

MY | trends

Theia dress, $995, SAKS Somerset Collection Earrings, $39.50, Ann Taylor Black sparkly purse, $98, Cache Somerset Tuxedo, President Tuxedo, Birmingham

Holiday Glam At It’s Best

AS THE HOLIDAY’S APPROACH FESTIVE PARTIES ARE IN THE AIR Photography by Steve Ragland Styled by Jessica Kocik

18 | MY Magazine

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Badgley Mischka emerald sequined dress, $795 SAKS Somerset Collection Earrings, $49.50 bee ring, $39.50 stack rings, $39.50 Jewelry from Ann Taylor www.mymagazineoakland.com

MY Magazine | 19

Sequined dress, $268, Cache Somerset Collection Necklace, $58, Nordstrom Somerset Collection Headband, $28, Nordstrom Somerset Collection Earrings, $29.50, Ann Taylor

20 | MY Magazine

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Topshop faux leather dress, $120 Alice and Olivia skirt, $396 Eliza J faux fur shrug, $88, necklace, $59 All at Nordstrom, Somerset Collection. Earrings, $29.50 Ann Taylor Miu Miu ankle strap shoe, $990, Tender, Birmingham, MI Roulette table courtesy of Rochester Events and Party Planning, Rochesterrental.com www.mymagazineoakland.com

MY Magazine | 21

Temperly dress, $1,250 and Miu Miu jewel ankle strap shoe, $990, Tender, Birmingham MI Bracelet, $29.50, earrings, $39.50, Ann Taylor 22 | MY Magazine

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Emerald green top, Miu Miu, $760 and sequined green pants No21, $1,195, Tender, Birmingham MI Bee earrings, $28.50, Ann Taylor Make up by Talya Ashford for Beauty Box Makeup assistance by Sophia Koolwick Hair by David Of C2 for Beauty Box Photo assistants Robert Olinski and Maurice Sanders Photos shot on location at Sugar House Bar, Michigan Ave, Detroit www.mymagazineoakland.com

MY Magazine | 23

Serendipity W

By Adria DeAngelis Veit

e leave the house with a smile on our face. We feel good; we like the clothes we are wearing, and feel confident. We start the engine and the sound resonates with the way we feel: charged up and ready to go! We turn on the radio and dial up inspiring music. It’s a moment when we are glad we are alone and don’t have to politely please anyone else in the car with the genre of their choice. We are now cruising to work. As we approach the first traffic light of our commute, it turns red. Getting lost in the lyrics of the song on the radio, we are suddenly jolted back into the moment. We have just received a jarring bump to the back of our car, causing it to rock back and forth. The immediate thought that comes to mind is “Oh great!” In a split second, we think about what a great morning we have been having. “This is not going to ruin our day!” We are in “reaction mode.” We get out of the car to assess the damage, only to find out that it’s the other driver’s vehicle that has taken the brunt of it all. We are now reviewing the following thoughts in our mind with the goal of maintaining our positive and joyous morning. 1.

No one is hurt.

You are insured

You will be late for work ... you have a cell phone to call ahead.

Everything will be okay

Wow! We didn’t know we had it in ourselves. We have once again regained control and our heart is beating at its normal pace. The other driver is overwhelmed and tears are flowing. In a short period of time, the police arrive. Once the standard information has been obtained, we are able to continue on our way. As we drive away, we feel badly for the other driver as the tow truck arrives. Back on the route to work, we review what we experienced since we left our home. We become extremely proud of ourselves. We didn’t lose our positive start to our day. We give ourselves an A+ on the “reaction test” It’s important to always delve into challenging situations in our lives and review where the positives have outweighed

24 | MY Magazine

the negatives. We never stop learning, even on the most simplistic levels. We are responsible to ourselves for paying attention. Not only will it make us aware of the lesson learned from the current event, but help us make better choices when we react to further challenging situations that will continue to present themselves throughout our lives. Life is full of unexpected challenges that test our reactive skills. We have all told ourselves on the back of a challenging moment that “this is not going to be a good day.” We even say it out loud to when we know that someone else may be there to hear us. The worst part of the scenario is that we actually talk ourselves into it. Why do we do this? The answer is simple: when we internalize our emotions, reacting to the negative versus the positive allows self-talk to become, in our minds, a reality. We all make numerous choices in our lives on a daily basis. What happens when we are not given the opportunity to choose? We have received bad news. We are thrown into a situation that makes no sense to us at all. The daily planner that is filled with appointments, notes, and reminders has become irrelevant, along with the full cup of coffee left on the counter. We ask ourselves the most common question, “Why is this happening to me?” Our mind tells us that this only happens to other people. Reality shows that, this time, it’s happening to you. What is our “reaction mode” now? Although we feel that our ability to choose has been placed beyond our reach, we have not lost our ability to be in control of ourselves. We are able to choose how we want to react. We all need to improve our reaction skills. We develop the patterns of our lives. As easy as they may be to follow, it’s when we choose to change how we react to them that our well-being improves. Start today by increasing your awareness of how you react to your life. If you have a moment, I would enjoy an email from you letting me know how your new reactive skills have improved your life! Be well! Adria DeAngelis Veit Intuitive Medium Adria.Believe@gmail.com

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MY Magazine | 25

MY | ask the life coach

It Takes Two By John J. Schalter

“The whole is greater than the sum of its parts.”

would like to share with you something that can change your life forever. It can enable you to take quantum leaps in your goal achieving and make everything you do more fun. It will dramatically increase your productivity and focus your thinking. Are you at least curious? Ready for an answer? It’s an incredibly simple concept of something I call “the power of two.” Through most of my life, I have been attracted to this process and mind set. In my law practice, I would discover that working on a case with another lawyer always got me the best results. For over twenty five years, I have written screenplays with a partner. Every time I design a new workout plan to get in shape, I do it with a buddy. Without a doubt there is a certain magic in “two.” Two also has a spiritual aspect to it. Almost everyone is familiar with the quote in the Bible:

“For where two or more have gathered together in My name, I am there in their midst.”

~ Matthew 18:20

It seems that even the power of prayer is increased by the concept of “two or more.” We all remember the hearing, “a family that prays together, stays together.” Think about it. Can’t you feel a certain energy or power when you pray with a friend or say grace before a meal? One of the great mysteries of life is why and how it works. Maybe working together on a project affirms a greater truth that we are all connected on some level and that our bodies are the only thing that separates us.

~ Aristotle

“Accountability breeds responsibility’ ~ Stephen Covey The other wonderful thing about teamwork is that it creates accountability. If I have a work out buddy, I am more likely to show up at the gym. For some reason, it is easier to make a promise to someone else than it is to ourselves. That’s why New Year’s Resolutions rarely work. We need someone to “call us out” when we fail to do what we have said we would do. How do we pick the right partner or partners? First of all, choose an individual that will complement your skills. We each have strengths and weaknesses. Most of all, choose partners that have the right mindset and inspire you to be the best that you can be. Choose members that challenge you and insist on a standard of excellence. Best of all the power of two can make dismal tasks more fun. A playful and relaxed attitude will bring out your best. Try it for yourself. Pick something difficult that you want to get done and choose a compatible partner and see for yourself how it effects the process and achieves the goal. Give me a call and let me know your results! I’d love to hear from you. Peace and Prosperity,

John

Science has acknowledged the effect of this invisible energy and called it Synergy. Synergy is generally considered to be two or more people working together to achieve more than they could alone. It is simple, but true. The whole is greater than the sum of its parts. It is also the DNA of our universe. It takes two (a man and woman) to create a baby. This is true for almost every living creature in our universe. It takes two in order to multiply.

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John is a Life Coach, a practicing attorney (35 years) and a professional screenwriter. He is also a musician, songwriter and artist. He does private coaching and limits his client number to 20. If you would like to discuss coaching and/or get on the waiting list call him at 586-997-HELP (4357). The first consultation is always free.

Strong Women By Deanne Rubenzer To me, being a strong, independent woman doesn’t necessarily require that I be a die-hard feminist. Rather, it means learning to express who you are from your core, without trying to fit into a certain mold. My experience has been that strong women work at undoing negative social conditions. They don’t compare themselves to other women. Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with having a female role model to look up to. For starters, strong women work hard to quell feelings of jealousy. While natural to some degree, it is an unnatural feeling to be jealous and you are left feeling horrible about yourself. My boss used to say “be who you are or your message is untrue.” What a wise man! Why are we breeding a culture of women who feel insecure and unhappy? Let’s stop it right now. I wouldn’t base your happiness on being in a relationship. Having a man (or woman) to love should enhance your life, not define it. Remember, no matter how hard you may think you need a relationship, you must first love yourself before you can begin to love somebody else. Yes, love yourself and have other things going on in your life outside of the relationship, whether it is school, work, friends, a fitness routine, or your family. There must be balance. Don’t feel obligated to follow fashion trends. Being an independent woman means dressing the way you want, regardless of what people around you are telling you to wear. Use fashion as a way to express your mood, your taste, and your creativity. There’s nothing wrong with being fashionforward, but don’t force yourself to keep up with trends that you don’t like or that don’t look good on you. Put your own personal spin on them. Stand up for yourself. Whether you are a man or a woman, you will have to learn to fend for yourself in the real world if you want to avoid being taken advantage of. You must learn how to stand up for yourself at school, at work, and in your social life. For instance, if you hear somebody making a sexist, racist, or otherwise disrespectful comment, don’t let it slide. This doesn’t necessarily mean engaging in an argument, but we all need to communicate kindly and with

respect for all people. If somebody betrays you in any way, you have a right to let him or her know. Manage your finances. If you want to be truly independent, you must learn how to pay for your own life so that you don’t have to rely on other people. Spend your money wisely, and avoid wasteful or frivolous expenditures. It is important to know your income and evaluate it often. Check your bank statements regularly, and be sure to keep your own records as well so that you can catch errors. Prioritize your spending. Your top priorities should be on your basic necessities like food, shelter, and clothing. Things like expensive clothes, concerts, and vacations are luxuries. Learn how to differentiate between necessities and luxuries. Give to others. One of the best ways you can exert your strength is to give back to those who are less fortunate than you. You don’t have to be rich or affluent to make a positive impact in your community, so start small. Consider volunteering at a non-profit organization in your community. Identify those issues that you are most passionate about. Practice random acts of kindness. You don’t have to become a formal volunteer to give back. If you see somebody in need, help them. Even a small act, such as helping somebody carry boxes, can brighten up his or her day. Have self-love and self-respect. Finding a strong female role model to look up to can help you find the inspiration you need to feel more independent. I actually have many female role models...of all ages, races, occupations, and creeds. I’m working toward becoming a whole person, being a strong woman of faith and love, and a woman who can help others find their best self.

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Music is the cure for Detroit’s

DANNY D My goal is to inspire people, to be a motivator and encourage people, young and old to go for their dreams, regardless of any obstacle.” Singer-Songwriter Danny D’s music has been a vital outlet for his personal expression since age seven, when he started showing signs of Tourette’s syndrome, however was undiagnosed until the age of 21. DannyD’s singing and performing became more important when he noticed how his symptoms seemed to disappear. His determination led to his success in becoming the best musician he could be by taking piano and vocal lessons, music theory, and writing and recording his own songs. Danny D’s new CD, LAST CALL, introduces a unique synthesis of rock, alternative, Americana and country to its thoughtful, storytelling songs

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MY | local

Flutter Lash Boutique By Barbara Krajenke

yes are a form of communication—a window to the soul. It is no wonder many women seek to enhance their beauty and draw attention to this through lash enhancement. One way of creating drama and adding attention to the eye is through eyelash extensions, which enhance already existing lashes. Flutter Lash Boutique in Ferndale is a studio specializing in lash extensions. “Our passion is lashes,” says Flutter Lash Boutique Owner Leisa Traylor. Traylor recognized a need for lash extension studios in the area after going out-of-town, “the concierge pulled up thirty-five lash studios…when I came home, I found three.” Traylor decided to follow her inspiration of providing beauty services and opened Flutter Lash Boutique earlier in 2014. “I saw a need for it in the market here, it’s big in places like California.”

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done appropriately, the application will not damage the eyelash. It is very important to separate and only do one lash to one lash, the proper technique, mimicking your existing lash curvature and shape,” says Traylor.

Traylor, having a bachelors degree in Marketing, also attended Michigan College of Beauty in Waterford and is certified in Lash Out Loud and Extreme Lash. Traylor says it is best to go to a specialized lash boutique if considering extensions because they offer better product and application. Flutter Lash Boutique uses brands Extreme Lash, Lash Out Loud, Blink, and Eva Lash, with prices ranging from $25-$150. The different brands offer the client a variety of lengths, fullness, and colors to give a customized look. Consultations are a benefit of lash studios because they will be able to recommend the appropriate lash extension, adhesive, and look by examining lash condition and eye shape. Certain extensions work better with certain lash types. “Consultations examine lashes to see what shape they’re in and how fragile or frayed they are. Can’t do mink extensions if the lashes are fragile, (the client) will need something lighter,” says Traylor. Customization of extensions is selecting the right product for the client. Lash extension customization caters to eye shape and condition of the lash, including permanent or semi-permanent application and lash material, mink hair, silk, or synthetic hair. Color of the lash can range from natural to glitter. “Extensions really should be customized to give a more natural look. Extensions like mink are heavy or denser, giving a more dramatic look. If the client does not have a lot of lashes, the extensions have to be V-lash or semi-permanent flares to give a more full look,” says Traylor. Permanent lashes will last 3-4 weeks, used to enhance the client’s everyday look. Semi-permanent lashes will last 2-3 weeks, and are usually selected by clients who want to amp up their look for a special event. Application of lash extensions is laying lash over lash with an adhesive. Applying lash over lash prevents skin or eyelid damage and creates a more natural look. “If

Lash extensions can’t be applied without a lash to adhere to but can be used on thinning natural lashes to darken lashes and give a fuller, natural look. It is required that lash extension studios use and FDA approved adhesive. Some FDA approved adhesives do contain chemicals such as formaldehyde or rubber latex that can cause allergic reaction in some clients. Many studios, including Flutter Lash Boutique, offer hypoallergenic adhesives for sensitive skin and eyes. The FDA suggests testing the adhesive on a small patch of skin if you are concerned about an allergy. Care for lashes are minimal. If the lash fades after a few weeks, Traylor suggests waterproof mascara or clear mascara to maintain shine. Traylor recommends permanent extensions should be maintained every 3 weeks since the since the extensions grow out or shed with the natural lashes. The client can remove semi-permanent lashes, preferably with steam. Permanent lashes should be removed by a professional to prevent damage to the existing lash. Traylor believes the trend for eyelash extensions will continue to grow in the metro Detroit area. “Fifty percent of our clients have never done lash extensions before. Most clients come from referrals from other clients. A lot of women see their eyelashes look so pretty, they sell themselves.” Traylor is confident eyelash extensions will be a growing beauty regime and plans to expand her business to include eyelash extension training in 2015 with Carol Fox, owner of CC’s Boutique. Flutter Lash Boutique is hosting Lash and Dash Fridays and Saturdays in December which includes a lash strip and beverage for $18. The studio is also available for private events.

FLUTTER LASH BOUTIQUE 22720 Woodward Ave, Suite 111, Ferndale 248.977.6792 | flutteyelashboutique.com

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MY | life

Quality, Fit & Design BRICKER-TUNIS FURS By Mary Meldrum Photography by Steve Ragland Styled by Jessica Kocik

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EXCELLENCE SURVIVES TIME

or the discerning customer with a deep appreciation for professional quality, Bricker Tunis Furs’ stunning couture collection provides an exclusive selection of opulent furs. Every piece is custom tailored for fit and proportion to its owner. Bricker Tunis Fur’s unwavering commitment to quality products is the reason this furrier has stood the test of time. A visit with professional furrier and owner, Arthur Bricker, he revealed a grand story of an industry that has had a remarkable evolution and a rich history of his family’s business that started in Russia and dates back almost 100 years. In 1916, Russian Cossacks were invading villages, rounding up young men, and forcing them into the army. In one village, a furrier had saved the $40—two years’ worth of savings—needed for his 17-year-old son to travel the 2,000 miles, by foot, to board a steamer to New York City in America where a cousin lived and worked as a furrier. He made the journey and secured passage on the steamer. Once settled in New York with his cousin, the young man, Jacob (Jack) Bricker, worked for his cousin 10 to 11 hours a day, for six days a week, sewing rabbit fur for $1.00 a week pay. When two of Jack’s close friends were murdered by incoming Chicago mobsters, looking to take over and unionize the needle trade in New York, Jack fled to Detroit to avoid the growing threats and violence. Jack Bricker settled here, worked hard, and built a distinguished fur business and reputation as a high-quality furrier in downtown Detroit. His first store was at the corner of Michigan and Grand River. Bricker then opened a second store in Detroit on Grand River and Farmer where he eventually moved from the city after 45 years to open a third store northwest of Detroit, 7 mile and livernoise also known as the avenue of fashion. In all, the Bricker family enjoyed 45 years in the heart of Detroit. Jack’s son, Arthur Bricker, is now the owner proprietor of Bricker Tunis Furs. He remembers as a young man taking two buses to get to the shop downtown. Arthur tells the story of his father’s store downtown being on the first floor of a three-story building. “The second floor was a bordello, and the third floor was a blind pig,” he explains. “Business was brisk for the bordello and the blind pig in the early 1900’s.” Jack Bricker outfitted many interesting characters with his signature furs back then.

Mindy Krigel and Arthur Bricker, CEO of Bricker-Tunis Furs. When he was 18 years old, Arthur recalls that there were 180 furriers in and around the city of Detroit. He remembers his father walking down to the busy Detroit riverfront to buy fur pelts from Indian, American, Canadian, and French trappers. They brought their fresh pelts down from northern Michigan and Canada. These trappers would make landing at what is now known as Trapper’s Alley next to the Detroit River. There they would hustle, sell, and trade their skins to the furriers, who would then leave the furs that they purchased to be tanned, and pick them up later. It was a very primitive business back then, and this immediate access to furs was an easy and economical option over making the trip to New York to attend the auctions to buy tanned skins. “John Jacob Astor with Hudson Bay really started the fur trade between Canada and America,” reflects Arthur. “To this day the fur industry in Canada is coveted and revered. The Canadian government insures and protects the industry.” Arthur conveys his father’s flight from Russia and his interesting and difficult life in America as a young immigrant with a pride. His heritage and his family’s business have grown up over the last decade with Detroit, and have deep roots in the area. Having learned the fur business from his

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Charlene Mitchell-Rodgers, Media Consultant for Bricker-Tunic Furs, Cheryl Labbes, Sales Consultant, Mindy Krigel, Sales Consultant, Arthur Bricker, CEO of Bricker-Tunis Furs, Cameron Swartz, Sales Trainee, Kimmie Horne, Celebrity Spokes Person for Bricker-Tunis Furs. father from the ground up, Arthur’s skills and his knowledge of the fur industry on a global level clearly reflects his lifelong commitment and love for his craft. Bricker Tunis Furs still practice the time-honored artistry of expertly hand-sewing furs of original design. Arthur Bricker is adamant that the fit and proportion be exquisitely tailored for each customer. This has been their formula for success. There is an unmistakable timeless grandeur in the Bricker Tunis style. Bricker Tunis Furs no longer acquires pelts and skins from Canada. The industry has transformed through the years, and there is a different niche now. For 35 years, Arthur Bricker has traveled to Europe—Frankfurt, Milan and Paris—doing the shows and fulfilling a niche in couture fur fashion that is uniquely Bricker Tunis. He continues to do business in Europe today. “I just returned from Greece,” shared Bricker. “Nobody else in this town (Detroit) goes to Europe except me,” explains 36 | MY Magazine

Bricker. “They all go to China. It’s a different customer base; a different niche.” He gives a detailed economic and historical overview of the fur markets around the world, explaining the cost, the markup, and the quality of furs that have changed hands in the last several decades and the present. At one point, some fur manufacturers were producing in china as many as 2,000 coats a day. They needed all the powerhouse retail outlets, like Hudson’s, Macy’s hundreds of other outlets around the world, which could sell the mass-produced furs. In 1967, Bricker Tunis Furs began making fur coats for Motown legends such as the Martha Reeves and the Mandela’s, Temptations, Diana Ross and the Supremes, the Spinners, Miracles, the Four Tops, and Patti Labelle. These up-and-coming celebrity singers needed to project an image that elevated their stardom, but they didn’t necessarily have the money to purchase beautiful fur coats

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back then because they were just starting out. So Arthur Bricker sold them furs to wear when they traveled and appeared in public allowing them to make payments on them. Many of these Motown legends have never forgotten his generosity, and are good friends with Arthur today. Arthur Bricker also provided furs for the TV hit Dynasty, for Ebony magazine, and for many of the top boxers like Tommy “the Hit Man” Hearns. People came to Bricker Tunis because of the quality, the fashion, and their consistent ability to make beautiful things that made people look their best. George Tunis was Arthur Bricker’s partner and friend. George has been retired for quite some time now. Arthur met George in New York where he was a gifted designer and pattern maker for a large fashion house. Arthur recalls that George was an awardwinning coat designer with a stellar reputation. When Arthur’s father became ill, Arthur needed a good industry person to come in and help with his shops. He invited George Tunis to come to Detroit to partner with him. George accepted the offer and moved to Detroit on a handshake. “There was not another one like him,” Bricker recalls fondly of Tunis. “He is an enormously talented man and a great friend.” The partnership was one of the great symbiosis, with George acting as the designer and factory manager, and Arthur as the one who dealt with the customers and ran the business front. It was a solid partnership that lasted 40 plus years. International Jazz Recording Artist & Bricker-Tunis Furs Celebrity Spokes Arthur Bricker has run Bricker Tunis furs for 55 years Person, Kimmie Horne, and Arthur Bricker. now. While creating masterpiece furs is his main passion, he also owned his own art gallery at one time and remains an avid art collector. Bricker has an eye for color and strong design style. He favors pieces in houses in Europe. This well-known family-owned business his collection that represent styles like Naïve primitivism and in Michigan has a lengthy history and connection to the artists like Picasso, Chagall, and Marcel Duchamp. local Detroit community. While only three large fur retailers have really survived through the decades, Bricker Tunis Bricker Tunis Furs has survived for nearly 100 years through continues to be a recognized name in the industry and in the the transformation of the fur industry from trading fur pelts community. Their legacy continues to be distinct design and on the banks of the Detroit River to high-end fashion design quality, with a tailored fit. Make up by Talya Ashford for Beauty Box ; Hair by David Of C2 for Beauty Box; Hair assistant by Tiffany L West; Photo assistant Robert Olinski Photo 1: Fringe top, $108 and black leggings, $78, Cache Somerset Collection. Ring, $69, Earrings, $24, Accessories by Stephanie, West Bloomfield. Black Astrakhan & Curly Lamb Jacket, Bricker-Tunis Furs, West Bloomfield Photo 2: Black Mink Evening Jacket with Sequin Accents, Bricker-Tunis Furs, West Bloomfield. Vintage Diamond Cocktail ring with a 4 carat Emerald, $8,500 , Diamond Bracelet, 5 Carats, $5,500 Wachler Estate Collection, Birmingham, WachlerEstate.com Photo 3 Cream dress with gold accents, Cache Somerset Collection $168; Necklace: Vintage 18k yellow gold emerald & diamond pendant, $7,950; Earrings: Vintage Cartier diamond earrings in 18k yellow gold $7,750; Rings & Bracelets by Willow Roes of Los Angeles; All jewelry exclusively by Wachler Estate Collection, Birmingham WachlerEstate.com; White Fox Shrug, Black and White Orylog & Black Fox Cape, Black Cashmere and Silver Fox Jacket, Bricker Tunis Furs, West Bloomfield Photo 4: Long black dress with lace sleeve and back detail, Cache Somerset Collection, $198; Long Black Fox Stole with Fox Tails, Bricker Tunis Furs, West Bloomfield; Classic diamond tennis necklace in 18k white gold, 14.80 Carats, $25,000; Platinum Art deco diamond bracelet, 12 carats of european cut diamonds,$20,000; Diamond stud earrings set in platinum weight 3 carats each, $60,000; All jewelry available exclusively at Wachler Estate Collection, Birmingham, WachlerEstate.com

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MY | local

Event Bliss By Mary Meldrum

However, it is what Event Bliss owners Susan Siegal and Terri Trepeck do with their world of beautiful and interesting things that has people seeking them out. From wedding planning to home accessorizing, there is nothing that these two can’t orchestrate for their customers.

ave you ever walked into a boutique and got such a warm sense of belonging that you thought, “I could live here?” There is such a place in downtown Franklin called Event Bliss. When you walk in, you are surrounded by an endless selection of luxurious, distinctive, original objects that are available to purchase or rent for your home, party, or event. They have everything you might need for any special event, including owners who are more than happy to help you with any level of detail you might require.

If they don’t have it in their store, they will find it for you. From gift bags to hot air balloons, tablecloths to pony rides, there is no combination of elegant, exotic, outlandish, traditional decorations or event highlights that Event Bliss cannot coordinate for you. Sit back and cut Susan Siegal and Terri Trepeck loose with their ingenious ideas and limitless resources. Do you need napkins? Place cards? Linens? A photographer? An elephant? Swag with your logo? Tents? Table settings? Calligraphy? Centerpieces? A raffle? Valet service? Furniture rental? Hosting for your event, or do you just need some ideas for a theme party? They can help. They’ve got it all. They’ve done it all. They have come to be known as a dynamic creative force, putting together some truly spectacular and memorable events.

“We have a lot of Michigan made products and pieces from local artists,” explains Susan Siegal. “We also have a lot of beautiful home décor items like pillows, candles, frames, clothing, jewelry, and art.”

These creative visionaries can handle the entire spectrum of event planning. They arrange nonprofit events, trunk shows, weddings, anniversaries, birthdays, Bar and Bat Mitzvahs, communions, and baptisms. From

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cozy, intimate dinner parties for eight, up to several hundred guests in a dance hall, Event Bliss has the style, bandwidth, and attention to detail that any host or hostess needs. They can be your go-to support crew to help you entertain corporate partners, or you can hand them the reins and let them manage an entire event for you while you concentrate on you. Before the birth of Event Bliss, Terri, of Invites Inc., created invitations from her home office for 15 years. Susan, of Susan Segal and Company Event Planning, was always a working mom involved in promotions and the retail clothing industry for 25 years. Terri and Susan met when Susan started using Terri’s invitations and place cards for parties that she was planning. They decided to join forces and put their considerable combined talents under one roof where people could do one-stop shopping for their event planning needs. They hung a shingle and opened their doors last year, and it has been a triumphant success. Their year-old business has grown quickly as word of their professional abilities spread.

Event Bliss hosts between five and eight in-store events per year. They have also been hired to do approximately 60 events throughout their first year as an established business in Franklin. Most people do not throw big parties or host special events routinely, making most of us relative amateurs. Large and small events can have things go wrong. The last thing anyone wants is for their special day to be remembered for the things that didn’t go smoothly. Event Bliss is expert at putting together and pulling off successful events. They routinely do it every single day, lowering the risk of mistakes and mishaps for customers and taking a world of pressure off the host. “What we do is sometimes hard to convey. People come into our store and see that we do this and we do that,” says Susan. “We are a lot of things under one roof. From soup to nuts, we can do everything; your entire event.” “We can also do pieces of your event,” adds Terri. “If you have part of your event already planned out and you just need a little help with some of the details, we can do that.” “We do what we love,” declares Susan. “We love being able to engage our creative side and work with wonderful customers. It is a great joy to be able to work on something special and see it through from beginning to end, and we have the expertise to shepherd things to a great ending.”

EVENT BLISS 32802 Franklin Rd., Franklin, Michigan 248.862.6741 Visit us at facebook: Eventblissfranklinmi www.mymagazineoakland.com

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MY | inspiration

Our Need for Heroes It’s Time to Look Within By Judy Lipson Photography by Steve Ragland

ave you been seeking a hero in your life to emulate? Psychology teaches that people often see in others what they desire for themselves. Your eager, outward search may really be to find your inner self. If so, it may be time to discover the hero within you. Peace activist and spiritual teacher Mahatma Gandhi taught us to “be the change you wish to see in the world.” Deepak Chopra has added that “transformation ‘in here’ leads to results in the outer world as well.” Jean Houston’s book The Wizard of Us follows Dorothy’s experiences in and out of Oz. This is done within the framework of mythologist Joseph Campbell’s “Hero’s Journey,” also known as his monomyth. Houston adds exercises for the reader to explore his or her own journey. If this concept interests you, Campbell and Houston are both worth reading. 42 | MY Magazine

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In a society starved for genuine Heroes, we should do what we can to help them become the real thing in their own life. ~ Caroline Myss The following is a summation of Campbell’s stages of the Hero’s Journey that can help you to identify and appreciate your own Hero’s Journey: The Call to Adventure – to leave old concepts and move toward new ways of being. Refusal of the Call – you think that the time is inconvenient or that you are unworthy; yet something keeps reminding you and calls you to your adventure. Acceptance and Supernatural Aid – once you accept, you will receive aid from others—sometimes, it even seems magical. The Guardian of the Threshold – your adversary often shows up as a supervisor/boss or unsolicited advisor that urges you to follow the status quo. The Field of Adventure – to get past the perceived dangers, you learn to think out of the box and to find an inner power that may surprise you. This phase is often an inner journey. The Belly of the Whale – this can look/feel like depression, introversion, or a strong need to get away from it all. It is the final separation from the hero’s (original) world and self, allowing for the potential development of a new world and a new self, a metamorphosis. The Road of Trials – you have challenges for which you feel unprepared, yet the resources are there for you! The Meeting with the Beloved – though it may feel like a spiritual or religious experience, the emphasis is on experiencing unconditional love and connection with one’s self (self-unification). Crossing the Return Threshold – bringing your new skills, self-appreciation, and life goals into your threedimensional world. Mastering the Two Worlds with Freedom to Live – learning to balance the old and the new together. Additionally, since the inner and outer demons have been vanquished, there is freedom from fear, anxiety,

hope, and other emotions. You can now truly experience life by just BEING. I know of many youths and adults who are hearing the “Call to Adventure.” They describe it in various ways, such as a deep belief that they are supposed to do something, a knowing that society is supposed to be different, or some other stirring deep within. For me, it was a clear knowing that spurred me to leave my job in education and focus on Spiral Wisdom LLC. Have you been hearing the “Call to Adventure?” If so, then it’s time to accept and embark on your Hero’s Journey. Do It for Others: Your embarkation signals to others that the time for change is now. When they see you enter the world of discovery and embrace potential change, they can emulate your courage and strength, and consider entering their own Hero’s Journey to find their true self. Do It for Yourself: Once you have received the “Call to Adventure,” you will feel incomplete until you embark on it. Your resistance can result in anxiety, panic attacks, depression, or feelings of inadequacy. So enter your journey to release the patterns that have held you back, and finally begin to embrace the self that is within you. If you have children or work with students, you know that they inherently seek heroes as role models. Please encourage them to avoid false heroes and to use discretion, so that the larger-than-life individuals, whose achievements and quality of character have been earned, can inspire them. Support your youngsters’ self-worth. Teach them to rely upon their instincts, to look within for their own clear voice, and to seek their own Hero’s Journey.

Judy Lipson is a licensed, professional counselor and educational strategist in West Bloomfield. She helps clients of all ages who have learning difficulties, work or school related anxiety, ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome or Autism Spectrum Disorders. Contact Judy at 248.568.8665 and judylipson@spiralwisdom.net, and visit www. SpiralWisdom.net for more information.

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MY | gift guide

HOLIDAY Gift Guide MY MAGAZINE PRESENTS THE 2014

Assorted Orylag scarves in varying lengths & styles. From $200 to $395 Mahogany Ranch Mink Hobo bag and Evening Bag. Lg $1,200; Small $395. Also in Black. Messenger Style also available Bricker-Tunis Furs 6335 Orchard Lake Road, West BloomďŹ eld, MI 248.855.9200 | www.brickertunisfur.com

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Elomi Betty Black Underwire baby doll with thong, $92 Harps Lingerie 265 S Old Woodward Birmingham, MI 248.642.2555

Give beautiful experiences with a Douglas J Aveda gift card! Nature, artistry and well-being are a part of every expert Douglas J cut and color service. Each experience begins and ends with at least one of our ﬁve free Aveda rituals of renewal—from a tea ritual to a stress-relieving neck and shoulder massage. Gift cards are available in any denomination and this Holiday Season when you purchase $75, you will receive a $10 BONUS Gift Certiﬁcate. Douglas J Salon 230 N Adams Rd • Rochester Hills, MI 248.841.2188 | douglasj.com

A new innovation in skin rejuvenation, the RetrinAL 0.1 cream will diminish the appearance of lines and wrinkles within weeks. Strongest formula on the market. Skin looks plumper, ﬁrmer, and more radiant. $69 FACE Skincare~Medical~Wellness 31350 Telegraph Rd, Suite 102 Bingham Farms, MI 248.663.0161 facebeautyscience.com Butter London Nail Polish, $15 and up Sole Serenity Spa 9640 Commerce Rd, Commerce Twp, MI 248.779.8777

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MY Magazine | 45

Accessories by Stephanie Henry Ford West BloomďŹ eld Hospital 6777 West Maple Road West BloomďŹ eld, MI 248.669.4322

Christian Louboutin shoe, $150 Burberry Jacket, $299 Deja Vu Upscale Designer Resale 32750 Franklin Rd, Franklin, MI 248.855.4567 | dejavuresale.com Bullet casings with inserted quartz, embellished outside. $68. Kathy Mamet Design 32800 Franklin Rd, Franklin, MI 248.821.4106 | 248.562.7420

Full set of Mink Lash Extensions $125 Give the gift of glamour and convenience as seen on Good Morning America as this years hottest trends. Individual lashes that are water-proof and steam proof. Flutter Lash Boutique 22720 Woodward Ave., Suite 111, Ferndale, MI 248-977-6792 | fluttereyelashboutique.com

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Glamour Puss features a beautiful lace dress, $178, complimented with a fabulous gold scarf, $48, gold belt, $140, studded beret, $30, and unique gold necklace, $88. Complete the look with a fringe purse, $98, rhinestone shoes, $132 and boots, $165. Glamour Puss 32751 Franklin Rd, Franklin, MI 248.562.7420 glamourpussandpartygirls.com

Supreme Wrinkle Solution Creme instantly fades the appearance of wrinkles and signs of fatigue making the skin visibly smoother and appear as though it is “plumped up” from within. Its powerful ingredients target three types of wrinkles: Permanent, Superﬁcial and Embryonic. Carita incorporates revolutionary complexes. Margot European Day Spa 101 Townsend St, Birmingham, MI 248.642.3770 | margot.com

Heather Moore Jewelry “heirloom quality” personalized jewelry made of 14k gold (or silver). Each piece is individually hand stamped. ziebem ~ mare 32749 Franklin Rd, Franklin, MI 248.539.8879 | Ziebenmare.com

Montage Mother-of-the-Bride dress, $725 Alyse (long, pink gown), $720 Blush Bat Mitzvah dress, $463 Rhinestone purse $98; Rhinestone pumps, $132 Party Girls 32751 Franklin Rd, Franklin, MI 248.562.7420 glamourpussandpartygirls.com

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MY Magazine | 47

Great gifts from $20-$85. Frames, Body and bath products and home accessories. Event Bliss 32802 Franklin Rd, Franklin, MI 248.862.6741

DannyD Last Call CD, $9.99 DannyD American Pride T-shirt, $20 Singer-songwriter, DannyD has now released his newest CD, Last Call, a 9-song, introspective compilation of love, loss and life experiences. Last Call introduces a unique synthesis of rock, alternative, americana and country to its thoughtful, storytelling songs. T-shirts come in crew or v neck for women and crew for men. www.DannyDlive.com

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BULLYING

How to Protect Your Child By: Laura Hutchison, PsyD, LP, RPT/S, Blue Cross Blue Shield of Michigan practicing therapist

chools provide a great environment for children to learn, grow and make friends but they also present opportunities for kids to be bullied, especially children who are overweight or obese. We all hope our children enjoy their time at school however, look closely and you may find your child is a victim of displaced aggression, ashamed and defenseless. If bullying becomes serious enough, it can permanently damage your child’s self-esteem, lead to mental health issues and affect how they treat others. Bullying can happen to any child anywhere – primarily at school and online – and occurs in three major ways: •

Physically – This type of bullying involves different types of violence by the intimidator, including destroying property, hitting, punching, pushing, slapping, spitting and stealing. Bullies target the same child repeatedly to establish control over them and are generally larger and stronger than their victim, physically terrorizing and abusing them. Often, this kind of bullying leads to emotional issues later in life.

•

Verbally – Verbal bullying is the most common form of bullying. Almost 80 percent of kids are verbally harassed, whether it is by their peers or their parents. Verbal putdowns stem from a bully’s insecurity and sense of inferiority, so this type of bullying is easier to combat than you think.

•

Cyberbullying – Cyberbullying is verbal or social aggression carried out via technology and is prevalent in the Internet age. Signs of online bullying often go unnoticed, a main reason cyber bullying continues to trouble children of all ages and ethnicities.

KNOW THE SIGNS Children who are bullied often demonstrate any of the following signs: •

A sudden decline in grades, loss of interest in schoolwork, reluctance to go to school.

•

Changes in eating habits, tendency to the two extremes: binge eating and starvation.

•

Depression, feelings of helplessness, no passion for hobbies, low self-esteem

•

Difficulty sleeping or recurrent nightmares

•

Headaches, stomachaches, faking illnesses to avoid school

•

Lost or destroyed personal belongings like books or electronics

•

Mysterious physical injuries, mostly bruises

If your child displays one or more of these behaviors, you have reason to believe that he or she is being picked on. The next steps you take are critical to saving your child undue harm going forward. One recommendation is to have a lengthy conversation with your child and ask if they want to share feelings. Additionally, meet with your child’s teacher to gauge his or her behavior since the beginning of the school year. This will let you understand how your child interacts with children. When a child’s physical and mental well-being are at stake, a parent’s job is to become their confidant, someone he or she can trust not to judge any embarrassing situation - whether or not your kid is being bullied. Not only should you comfort them with your presence, you should also be proactive and take preventive measures to prepare your children by reinforcing anti-bullying attitudes and behaviors. Helpful tips include maintaining an accepting household, preaching respect, strongly discouraging name-calling and teaching compassion. Understanding how other people feel as a consequence of your actions sets a great example for kids and can help them handle bullying on their own. It also decreases the likelihood of a child bullying others. Based in Farmington Hills, Mich., Laura Hutchison, PsyD, LP, RPT/S, is a Blue Cross Blue Shield of Michigan practicing therapist. For tips on helping your kids live happier, healthier lives, visit AHealthierMichigan.org/mikidscan.

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MY | health

vs.

HOLIDAY TIME REAL TIME

Managing Stress During the Holidays By Barbara Krajenke

he smell of a holiday treats, reminiscing of fond memoires, the sparkle of holiday decorations — these are the ingredients delight our hearts during the holiday season. Amongst all the attributes the holidays have us looking forward to, we may neglect to take care of ourselves. Life doesn’t necessarily slow down because of the festivities. They can add numerous expectations and commitments that can wear us out. Gillian Haist, of Lake Orion, a working, married mother of two 8 year-old boys loves the holidays. She enjoys sharing family traditions, the lights in the trees and Christmas music. But she admits they can be a source of stress too, “Life is always a time constraint, but more so during the holidays. There is never enough time in the day, even less time during the holidays. I feel excited and kind of dreading it because I have to get stuff done.” Yet, you can relish in these moments of the season by taking the time for self-care —alleviating stress through a good mindset and proper nutrition. Nutrition is a way to stay energized and alleviate stress. “Consider when people generally become ill and you’ll see a direct correlation between stress and poor lifestyle habits,” Anne Baker, holistic nutritionist and life-style educator. “Food is

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the fuel our bodies and brains need. If you use inferior food as fuel and don’t practice self-care, your body will start to decline.” Baker explains certain vitamins and minerals are needed to help manage stress or can be depleted during times of stress. “When you’re under more stress we need more magnesium, zinc, potassium, choline, omega-3 fatty acids and proteins. Stress depletes the B-complex vitaminsspecifically folate, vitamin B6, vitamin B12, so eating foods high in these nutrients help.” For sustaining energy, Baker recommends eating high quality proteins, such as making quiche with organic free-range eggs, soups and stews loaded with vegetables and cooking with organic meats and poultry—they include a better essential fatty acid profile. Baker also suggests eating foods high in antioxidants such as fresh fruits, nuts and hummus, adding probiotics such as plain yogurt to help maintain healthy bacteria levels aiding digestion, and to take the Vitamin D Council’s recommended amount 5000 IUDs of vitamin D3 for maintenance. Baker says that a part of creating a healthy lifestyle is a stress deterrent by keeping a regular schedule “maintaining regular/consistent meal times and going to bed and waking up at about the same time each day helps…your body responds to a rhythm.”

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A favorite tradition during of the holiday season is food and drink. Baker recommends avoiding food and drinks that don’t make you feel good but not to be over critical of yourself if you do over indulge. “If you decide to indulge, accept that you have made that choice and let it go. Don’t guilt trip away the enjoyment.”

EXERCISE

Mainstream medias portrayal of the ideal woman effortlessly managing the holidays—our expectations being shaped by false expectations. Psychotherapist, Megan Gunnell discusses how the medias portrayal of women’s roles enhance our pressures of excess and trying to keep up in an indulgent society. “I think that it is a fault of our society in the media, what a woman should be today. Slow down long enough to realize what is realistic and what do I really need, self-care.”

SOCIALIZATION

Gunnell recommends practicing the five pillars of self-care to help keep you energized and to better cope with stress. “Don’t approach in a depleted state—than when (you) do hit a stressor (you) will be in a place where (you) can manage it… What makes you the healthiest, strongest you can feel?”

SLEEP

According to the National Heart, Lung and Blood Institute lack of sleep “alters activity in some parts of the brain,” affecting your mood, controlling behavior, decision-making and problem solving abilities and your bodies ability to regulate hormones. Gunnell suggests if your feeling stressed, make time to take a nap, even if it’s just a few moments on the couch.

The American Psychological Association states there is a direct correlation between exercise and lower stress. Exercise allows the body to emulate a stress response giving it a physical release of stress — aiding in cognitive ability and physical health.

Socialization is important because it keeps you connected to your support system and gives you something to look forward to, “Focus on the quality of relationships,” says Gunnell, “that is what is important.” Gunnell says that part of self-care is paying attention to your boundaries, whether putting a time limit on staying at an event, extending compassion to difficult personalities, and giving yourself a free pass if you not up to doing it all. “Our thoughts create our feelings and our feelings create our behavior. Your mindset is everything. What are you telling yourself? Listen to your own self-talk, reframe the message — ‘There is enough time, I am enough, it’s okay to take a break, what do I need, I am worth it. Our inner critic can be our worst enemy.” Ann Baker CN, LE Holistic Nutritionist at Nourish Holistic Nation in Auburn Hills and author of New Health Resource Guide Megan Gunnell, LMSW, MT-BC practices out of Birmingham and specializes in Women’s Issues at Hutzel Hospital Gillian Haist, Wellness Coordinator at Juice Plus and happy mother of two and wife to Joel.

NUTRITION

Nutrients fuel the body and feed the brain. Lack of food will lower your blood sugar levels and affect your mood. In addition to a high- nutrition diet, Baker suggests mineral supplements (colloidal), B-complex with methyl folate and a high quality probiotic supplements. Baker also recommends supplementing your diet with herbs such as ashwaganda, astragalus, rhodiolia, passionflower, lemon balm, chamomile flower and valerin root.

HYDRATION

Keeping hydrated helps to combat fatigue and stress. Studies have linked a correlation between dehydration and increase to feeling stressed—the body having the same response to stress as dehydration.

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MY Magazine | 51

Letting Go ... By Laura Solomon

enise and I laughed at how many times we’ve heard parents say, “Oh no…not my kid.” At the risk of sounding rude, Denise thinks these parents are just dim. To sweeten it up a little, I say that they are either in denial or just uninformed. Addiction can happen anywhere to anyone, especially teenagers like Denise’s 17 year old son. Teenagers partake in drugs and alcohol in the wealthiest and the most impoverished parts of cities and in the best and worst of families. Statistically, 42% of all teenagers have tried drugs by the time they are 18 years old. Of course, let’s be real…that’s the 42% that admit it. One of the other scary statistics is that prescription drug addiction in teenagers is on the rise and synthetic drugs are killing them. It is a critical mistaketo think your children are exempt from addiction. Denise admits that she has not had the luxury of being in the dark. She’s had the up-close and personal experience of dealing with an addict. She says that it would be an understatement to say it was all consuming. “Addicts are cunning and manipulative. They are masters of hiding, lying, cheating, and inviting you to their pity party, which you join out of guilt. What if you DON’T do what they want? They often threaten to use additional drugs, alcohol, or kill themselves. So, as a “co-dependent,” I gave in; I tried to fix the addict. The urge to fix the people, places, and things in my life made me weary. It just isn’t possible. People need to fix themselves.” Denise said that it’s exhausting to micro-manage the addict’s every move, like searching out to hide the drugs or alcohol, and it’s humiliating to visually monitor the addict taking a urine-drug test. “Yes, you have to do this because they will use a friend’s urine.” Denise shared with me that the problems with her teenager got worse when she “tried to help” because, by helping her child, she was actually enabling him to 52 | MY Magazine

continue his destructive behaviors. As a co-dependent, she believed the lies he told her. She joked with me and said that she learned that if his lips were moving, he was probably lying. She offered him up every compromise and made every accommodation not to rock the boat. Then, one day, she realized that the problem was bigger than she was and that she couldn’t want him to be in recovery more than he did. She came to understand that it is her son’s problem and that she can’t lose herself in it. She admits, “I am pretty sure I lost two years of my life living in the fear and frustration of living with and managing the life of an addict. Upon realizing these things, I learned to set boundaries. Of course, a reckless addict doesn’t like rules…but I stuck to a list of things that were acceptable, and things that were not.” Denise reminded me that as parents, we are empowered to make choices about what goes on in our home. If the addict doesn’t like it, that’s fine. Denise makes a bold statement when she says that her children don’t have to like her, but they do have to respect her. Denise credits the 12-step programs of Narcotics and Alcoholics Anonymous and Alanon for helping her and her son understand addiction. She and her son are not gratefully recovering addicts and co-dependents. So gentle reader, if any of this sounds familiar, (and to 42% of you, it might) reach out and ask for help and know that you are never alone.

Laura Solomon lives in West Bloomfield, Michigan, with her husband and their nine children. She is the author of “Normal Life”, available on Amazon.

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BE STRONG AND CONFIDENT MICHIGAN PEAK PERFORMANCE INTERACTIVE METRONOME A proven method of sound and timing that will train your brain. by Dr Mark N. Berkowitz, Board Certified and Fellowship trained Ocular Facial and Cosmetic Surgeon

Successfully helping children and adults with:

Q: I want to keep my youthful look, but I don’t want to have a facelift operation. What can I do? At Accents Cosmetic Surgery, I offer a break-through, dual laser, minimally invasive procedure that can give you a natural return to youthful beauty in under an hour. I pioneered this procedure and have performed over a 100 of them in the past 18 months. This procedure gives you results immediately, but what you see is not even the final result. Peak results are achieved three to six months after the procedure, which means you can look forward to tracking a slightly more youthful reflection every day for months. Q: What makes this procedure different than others? I use the power of two lasers, the SmartLipo Triplex and the Mixto Fractional CO2 lasers. The first laser is used underneath the skin to help melt the fatty tissue and contours the jowls (cheek and lower jaw) and underneath the chin. The body slowly eliminates this fat. This same laser is then turned toward the skin to help tighten the skin and improve the laxity. The second part of the procedure is used to improve skin tone and tighten the skin from the outside. This procedure helps to turn over the collagen and produce a more youthful glow. The SmartLipo shoulders the load of the work. It heats up tissue, destabilizes fat deposits, stimulates collagen production, and tightens the skin. The second phase of the Accents Lift, the Mixto Laser, works to promote new collagen growth, which delivers better results in thirty minutes than other systems can manage in 3-5 sessions.

• ADD ~ ADHD • Coordination Limitations • PTSD • Traumatic Brain Injury

• Memory • Stroke Victims • Autism • Reading Disorders

YOU DON’T HAVE TO STRUGGLE ... LET

US HELP! FIRST VISIT FREE 313.910.0944 MIPEAKPERFORMANCE.COM

ONLINE

Q: What other benefits does the Accents Lift offer? This procedure is performed without general anesthesia. It is done safely and comfortably in my office procedure room. The majority of my patients return to work in 2-3 days with my laser lift.

MY Magazine has always been online with our turn page digital edition for your convenience

Q: I’m afraid that if I have this procedure done, the results will fade. What can be said for the staying power of the results? The results are long lasting, but naturally, genetics can become Before After a factor. Diet and environmental factors can also alter results just like with any facial procedure. For many patients, I enhance this further by using fillers within the face. This gives the trifecta of beauty—tightening of the skin, improving the skin tone, and improving volume. From age 25 and on, we lose approximately a teaspoon of collagen or fat within the face. By improving the volume, this alone can help give a more youthful and natural look.

44650 Delco Blvd.• Sterling Heights, MI

586.254.7692 AccentsCosmeticSurgery.com

WWW.MYMAGAZINEOAKLAND.COM FASHION >> BEAUTY >> RECIPES >> ARTICLES >> AND MORE Enjoy MY Magazine whenever and wherever you are. Our digital edition always keeps you connected.

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MY | local

MICHIGAN PEAK PERFORMANCE The Brain Seeks a Beat By Mary Meldrum

o you want your child to excel in school and in life? Pay attention, parents. Here is the secret … The brain is the most important organ in the body. It starts off listening to a singular rhythmic beat—mom’s beating heart—that sets it on its way to stardom. This initial, perfectly timed repetition of sound impacts a baby’s brain on a profoundly dynamic level. The baby correlates the metronomic beat with security and comfort—two components necessary for an optimized environment for focused learning. After birth, your child’s brain continues to process information in rhythmic beats with an internal clock that keeps time at intervals as small as microseconds. This temporal processing is responsible for focusing and attention, reading comprehension, memory, speech processing, and motor coordination. Although it is difficult to know exactly what causes disorders like ADHD, dyslexia and autism, individuals with these disorders have neural timing deficits related to their internal clock. What if this disruption could be corrected?

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On a related note, everyone has heard that children who take music classes also seem to excel at math. This is more than slightly true. Music class provides students with a singular rhythmic beat that their brains crave in this maddeningly overamped up world. In this rhythmic musical environment, the brain is naturally comforted and teaches itself how to relax and focus. This carries over into all aspects of a child’s life. Math, reading, writing, and communicating all become easier as the child is able to overcome all stimuli in their world and attend to the one task that is most critical. A powerful method called interactive metronome (IM) is used by Michigan Peak Performance that takes advantage of the brain’s ability to self-correct through neural plasticity utilizing interactive metronome, helping children to naturally overcome distractions and adjust their neural timing deficits. Using an auditory/visual platform that has a gamelike experience, IM engages the player and promotes synchronized timing to the brain. These exercises become increasingly complex as the player moves through “levels”, requiring higher and faster cognitive processing, attention, and decision-making. Michigan Peak Performance is a mobile business, visiting clients all over the Metro-Detroit area—from Rochester to Trenton to Ann Arbor—in their homes for an average of 12, one-hour sessions of IM. The brain seeks a beat for the foundation of focus. The physiology behind this fact is irrefutable. Interactive metronome is the cutting edge of what Stanford and Harvard are doing. Research for the last 25 years using the Woodcock-Johnson test scoring has shown that IM has sustained effective results, with an increase of two years in reading fluency and one year increase in math fluency. That’s huge. Michigan Peak Performance’s CEO, Paul Sikorski has had outstanding results with children. “Anyone can potentially benefit from IM, but this works best on children 5 to 15 years old,” explains Sikorski, a drummer and a teacher. His clientele includes children with ADHD, autism, students looking to improve test scores—such as on the ACT—and athletes looking to improve their game focus. Any pediatrician can tell you how predictability, repetition, and schedules are important components to a child’s wellbeing and stable upbringing. Trust, security, and the ability to relax and focus are all components of survival that are born from rhythmic patterns in a child’s world. The auditory patterns that the brain craves—like the sound of a beating heart—are critical to our ability to decipher information through multiple distractions and learn.

While we can close our eyes to the visual world, short of earplugs, we do not have any way of stopping sound from reaching our brains. Invasive noise bombards our brains nearly every moment after birth. Tapping into the brain’s natural ability to tune out distractions, IM elevates a child’s ability to push aside all the noise in their environment and to find and focus on what is important. Scientists continue to find that music lessons can produce profound and lasting changes that enhance the general ability to learn. Specifically, it is the counting, the beat, and the metronomic tempo of music that the brain responds to. “Repeated rhythmic auditory stimulation increases brain growth in the prefrontal cortex, which is the area of the brain responsible for executive functioning,” shares Sikorski. External motivators and medications are temporary. Michigan Peak Performance’s unique IM method captures a person’s intrinsic ability to focus by naturally retraining their brain, and results from IM last. If you have a child who wants to score higher on the ACT, or who struggles with ADD, ADHD, sequential tasks, needs help focusing on school work, or a student athlete who wishes to take his/her game to the next level, contact Michigan Peak Performance for more information: 313-910-0944. Now you have the secret.

MI PEAK PERFORMANCE 313.910.0944 MIPeakPerformance.com

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MY | local

DannyD Making Beautiful Music By Mary Meldrum

Danny D with Steven Tyler . of Aerosmith

Danny D singing with Rod Stewart.

Danny D singing with Roger Daltrey.

e has a raspy, emotional tone that conveys beautiful stories through lyrics and melodies. Singer and songwriter Danny Dzialoâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;known best as DannyDâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;hails from Hamtramck, Michigan and has become a music icon around the city of Detroit. Wellknown in the music world for his decades of rock and

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roll, DannyD creates heartfelt music and has the ability to synthesize different styles, including alternative, funk, hip-hop, and country. DannyD is probably best known and remembered by many because of his physical resemblance to rock legend Rod Stewart, whom he has performed with and enjoys imitating.

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a lifetime of tics have taken their toll. The involuntary muscle contractions can pull so hard that they create severe aches and pains. Although he suffers from full blown Tourette’s, over the years some of his tics have lessened. He discovered that his symptoms would disappear when he would sing and perform; he learned to channel the energy from his disorder into an electrifying stage performance. “I started making noises when I was seven years old. When I was a teen, I formed a band, hit the stage, and my whole concept of who I was changed—an entertainer—just focusing on that and my music, and the Tourette’s just went away,” he shares. DannyD is adamant about not being defined or confined by Tourette’s syndrome. He is more interested in using the disorder to make an important point about determination and sticking to your dreams.

Captivated by a clear memory of Paul McCartney singing Let It Be when he was in 4th grade, DannyD decided at this tender age that singing and performing is what he wanted to do. Embracing his love of music, he took vocal, piano, and guitar lessons and has since grown his gift into a great music career. Motown has been a big influence on Danny’s music style. He has played on stage with Roger Daltry, Steven Tyler and, yes, Rod Stewart, just to name a few. Danny writes, performs, and records his own songs. His most recent work is a new CD named Last Call, which you can listen to on his website www.dannydlive.com. Last Call is a thoughtful compilation of nine stories put to song that expose memories of love, loss, music, friendship, sights, and sounds that have impacted the artist’s life.

“My goal is to inspire, motivate, and encourage people to go for their dreams no matter what the obstacles might be,” he shares. “It doesn’t matter if you are young or old or what your circumstances are. You can accomplish your dreams if you set your mind to it.” DannyD is the person who introduced the Digital Jukebox to America. He has performed in Vegas and at the casinos in Detroit as well. A trusted, well-loved, and solid performer, DannyD is a favorite with many famous musicians, but he also has a loyal and deep fan base that loves his artistry and supports him and his powerful message of inspiration.

DannyD | dannydlive.com

Influenced by his Detroit music roots, DannyD has matured into a refined overall musician. His unique smooth, throaty sound mixes well with any combination of voices and songs. Indeed, this fact is not lost on some famous musicians and singers who have partnered with DannyD on stage. Danny has opened for big names like Mitch Ryder, Eddie Money, Air Supply, David Lee Roth, The Romantics, and Uncle Kracker. Now a father of five children, DannyD has struggled with Tourette’s syndrome since he was in the second grade. Tourette’s syndrome is a chronic neurological disorder that affects over 200,000 people in America. Tourette’s is characterized by disruptive vocal and physical tics and outbursts. The physical demands on DannyD’s body from

Danny D with Gene Simmons of KISS.

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MY Magazine | 57

MY | Jim’s Blog

My Dog Gives Me Gas

have a pair of Scottish Deerhounds. They are littermates and sisters. One’s named Daisy and the other

is Tibby. Up until last week I got lots of pleasure from them interspersed with grief, e.g. when Daisy ate and scratched a hole through a wall or when Tibby tore apart a favorite leather chair. But that’s all changed now because Daisy and Tibby are giving me gas. That’s right… my dogs provide me with gasoline; because beginning this month every time you purchase food, treats or toys for your dogs you will receive fuel points from Hiller’s that can be used for free gas from any Speedway gas station. And for those of you who are owned by felines, they can give you gas too.

by Jim Hiller, CEO Hiller’s Market WWW.HILLERS.COM

FREE GAS! P Up to 20 gallons at any Speedway P Earn $.05/gallon savings for every $30 spent P Stack your savings until 12/14/14 and you could earn a free tank! For complete details visit www.hillers.com/hillers-fuel-savings

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Ginger

The

Amazing

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Reducing vertigo

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Enhancing fat digestion and absorption

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Protecting against toxic effects of environmental chemicals, such as parabens

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Helping prevent heart attacks

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Relieving arthritis pain as well as Indomethacin, an anti-inflammatory drug commonly used to treat it

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Preventing and treating nonalcoholic fatty liver disease (NAFLD)

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Fighting drug-resistant bacterial and fungal infections

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Reducing damage and memory loss associated with small stroke

Ginger uses include: • Treating various types of “stomach problems,” including motion sickness, morning sickness, colic, upset stomach, gas, diarrhea, nausea caused by cancer treatment, nausea and vomiting after surgery, as well as loss of appetite.

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Protecting against the DNA-damaging effects of radiation exposure

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Fighting bacterial diarrhea

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Pain relief from arthritis or muscle soreness, menstrual pain, upper respiratory tract infections, cough, and bronchitis. Ginger is also sometimes used for chest pain, low back pain, and stomach pain.

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Stir fry

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Juicing

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Ginger ale

Helping heal burns and relieve burn pain by applying fresh ginger juice to skin.

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Ginger tea

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Ginger pieces as a snack

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Ginger snaps

inger – the “root,” or technically the rhizome, of the plant Zingiber officinale -- has been a popular spice and herbal medicine for thousands of years throughout Asian, Indian, and Arabic herbal traditions. Ginger is part of the Zingiberaceae family, as are cardamom, turmeric, and galangal.

•

Additional benefits include: • Improving cognitive function in middle-aged women •

Protecting against respiratory viruses

Ginger as a flavoring agent:

Whether you are looking for fresh, ground, or dried ginger look no further because Hiller’s has it.

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MY | home

Create Calm

DURING THE HOLIDAYS

By Kathi Jones-Cutler

robably easier said than done, but we try. With a bit of long range planning ahead, so the holidays don’t sneak up on you, it can be done. Trying for less in the way of decorations, streamlining for a simpler, less can be more look, can be wonderful. Create a more calming and soothing decor. Be easy on yourself by cutting out a few things or designating a few chores to spread out the workload. Simple arrangements of fresh greens, pine, and balsam give the most wonderful scent to rooms. This almost creates an automatic calming scent. Forget about

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outdoor lighting and place battery operated candles in each window instead. Cut back on gift giving, which is a huge stress reliever itself. If you must give gifts, do an exchange with children only, or a gag-gift exchange. Don’t wait to wrap everything until the night before, wrap your gifts as you get them. Use gift bags as often as possible; it’s much faster and you can get creative with a little glue and glitter! It is not as easy as it sounds, creating calm is tough this time of year. There is so much to do and so little time. The

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weather is freezing and we have less daylight. Oh my! The best way to approach each day is with a positive attitude. You don’t have to jump out of bed and start singing songs, you can wake up “your way,” whatever works for you. If you’re like me, you’re in a fog when you first wake up. You are out of bed, but your mind is still groggy. You need to compensate for this by getting up earlier than most so you will be fully alert and functioning when you need to be. Here’s a little tip to help you get your day started right: make lists the night before to keep you on track and motivated. Edit your to-do list by asking yourself “if I don’t do this, will it matter?” Every morning take a look at your list and begin to prioritize your “to-dos” before you start your day. Be organized more than ever. Time is limited with so much on your plate. It is essential to think through each day so you are not running in circles. If you need to make a trip to the grocery store that is in the same vicinity as the dry cleaners and department store, plan to do your stops all at once. You will save time, gas, and a lot of energy by thinking through what needs to be done and where your errand stops are. Enlist help from others. Do you have a teenager with a license who can do some running around for you? Don’t be afraid to ask for help from friends and family members. This is not limited to errands; you can ask for help with all kinds of things: decorating, cooking, wrapping gifts, or babysitting. Do one thing at a time. You may have multiple tasks to accomplish, but having different things happening at the same time can cause you to make mistakes, which costs more in the long run. We all get caught up in a whirlwind of stuff to do, but you can train yourself to be aware of this and stop yourself in your tracks. You might have a million things to do, but even if you take 10 minutes to focus on one thing, committing to doing that one thing to get it done is crucial even if it takes a little longer. Do something that makes you feel good and take time for yourself. Make a list of things you would like to do for yourself, to bring relaxation and happiness to your current world of chaos. Get a massage, read a book, take a yoga class, or whatever is relaxing to you. You don’t have to spend any money at all to benefit from small things that nourish your soul, such as taking a 20 minute power nap or watching an old movie on TV. You could even give yourself an at-home pedicure by soaking your feet in Epsom salts in a tub of warm water. Ahh, relaxation. Be in the moment. If a snow storm strikes, look at it as an opportunity to bundle up and go for a walk, or cuddle up with loved ones and watch the flakes fall. Do the kids want to play in the snow? That’s great! Stop what you’re doing and

A branch adorned with ornaments makes a striking accessory. Finish the look with white, gold and silver metallic decorations. It’s chic and elegant for celebrating the holidays.

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Simplify the holidays by cutting back on baking and host a cookie exchange. It’s a great way to get a variety of delicious cookies and party with friends and family at the same time!

join them building a snowman or, better yet, YOU start a snow ball fight. I know this sounds like an impossible thing to do, but it may be the most important thing for you and your family. A short time outdoors will do wonders for everyone’s psyche. Grab you camera and take some photos that you will be able to reflect on from years to come. These are the moments you will always remember. Make this holiday season different than those in the past. Focus on the meaning of relationships, and not things. Write a living

eulogy for someone you love. Instead of hosting a big dinner party, have a pot luck dinner so everyone can bring a dish. Don’t exchange gifts, but rather do something together like sledding or ice skating. Then, build a fire outdoors and serve hot cocoa and hotdogs. Play a game such as Pictionary™ or Charades that all ages can participate in from a preschooler to GreatGrandma. Have a sing-a-long, go caroling, or volunteer at a soup kitchen or senior home. Think of the holidays as a time to share and care for one another. It’s the people that are the most important in life, not things. What makes holidays special are moments that touch our hearts; those moments will live on forever.

A leader in the Real Estate Industry and author of the home styling book, “Cashing in on Design,” Kathi has over 18 years of experience selling homes in metro Detroit. Featured on WXYZ-TV’s, “Don’t Waste Your Money,” with Joanne Purtan. She has conducted numerous seminars around the state. She also served alongside HGTV’s “Design to Sell” host Taniya Nayak as appointed speaker for the 2007 Crain’s Detroit Real Estate Expo. Kathi is a realtor at Max Broock in Birmingham, 248.345.7775 or email at kcutler@comcast.net.

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FM Dish 6335 Haggerty Rd, West Bloomfield, MI 48322

248-722-1913

MY | cooking school

y t r Pa s r e t r a t S Start the party off right with appetizers perfect for munching and mingling By Chef Dawn Bause

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satisfying and festive spread of appetizers and hors d’oeuvres is essential to any holiday open house, cocktail party, or family get-together. They help tide over your guests until the main event, plus, they give you a chance to introduce fun new finger goods before the traditional Thanksgiving, Christmas, or Holiday dinner line-up. A table full of appetizers is bound to make your guests thirsty, so don’t forget to offer a festive holiday cocktail for sipping. Happy Holidays from my kitchen to yours!

Parmesan Crisps with Heirloom Tomato Salad Chopped red, green, and orange tomatoes are tossed with olive oil and herbs, then served on Parmesan Tuiles, a thin, crisp, wafer made of dough or cheese from France. The result: a supremely colorful, incredibly easy hors d’oeuvre.

Ingredients 6 tablespoons freshly grated Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese 1 ½ tablespoons unsalted butter, softened 1 tablespoon plus 2 teaspoons all-purpose flour, plus more for pressing Freshly ground pepper 1 ½ cups finely diced heirloom tomatoes 1 tablespoon snipped chives

Crab and Avocado Bruschetta

1 teaspoon coarsely chopped tarragon 2 teaspoons extra-virgin olive oil

2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil, plus more for brushing 8 slices packaged thin white bread

Salt Preheat the oven to 400°. Line a large baking sheet with parchment paper. In a medium bowl, combine the Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese with the butter, flour, and a generous pinch of pepper. Mix the ingredients together until a dough forms. Form the dough into a 4-inch log. Cut the log into 12 equal slices and arrange the slices on the baking sheet. Using your fingers, press the slices into 1 1/2inch rounds.

2 Hass avocados Salt Cayenne pepper 4 ounces lump crabmeat, picked over 1 tablespoon chopped, fresh mint 2 teaspoons fresh lime juice Preheat the oven to 350° and lightly brush a large baking sheet with olive oil. Using a 2-inch round biscuit cutter, stamp 4 rounds out of each slice of bread and transfer to the baking sheet. Lightly brush the rounds with olive oil and toast for about 15 minutes until they are lightly golden and slightly crisp. In a small bowl, mash the avocados with a pinch each of salt and cayenne pepper. In another small bowl, gently stir the crabmeat with the mint and lime juice and then season with salt. Spread the mashed avocado on the toasts, top with the crab mixture, and serve right away.

Bake the tuiles on the lowest rack in the oven for about 7 minutes, rotating the pan halfway through baking, until the tuiles are golden brown and sizzling. Let the tuiles cool completely, then transfer them to a paper towel–lined plate and blot the excess fat. In a small bowl, toss the tomatoes with the chives, tarragon and olive oil, and season with salt and pepper. Spoon the salad over the tuiles and serve. Make ahead: The parmesan crisps can be stored in an airtight container for up to 1 week. Re-crisp in a warm oven before topping with the tomato salad.

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Smoked Salmon Bruschetta with Mustard Butter

Fig and Blue Cheese Squares

Sour cream or cream cheese may be the usual spread with salty smoked salmon, but this recipe using softened butter makes a tasty alternative (think of ham-and-butter sandwiches). To give the butter a zippy bite, stir in lemon zest and both Dijon and grainy mustards. 1 stick unsalted butter, softened 1 tablespoon Dijon mustard

One 14-ounce package all-butter puff pastry, thawed if frozen but still cold ½ cup fig preserves 3/4 cup crumbled Stilton cheese (4 ounces) On a lightly floured work surface, roll out the puff pastry to an 11 X 16, 1/2-inch thick rectangle. Trim to form a 10 ½ X 15 inch rectangle. Transfer the pastry to a large rimmed baking sheet and cut into 1 3/4 inch squares; you should have about 48. Freeze the squares until firm; this takes about 30 minutes.

1 tablespoon grainy mustard Preheat the oven to 375°. Line a large rimmed baking sheet with parchment paper. Arrange 12 squares on the sheet and cover with more parchment paper. Top the squares with another baking sheet, bottom side down. If you have another pair of baking sheets, repeat with 12 more squares. Bake the squares for about 35 minutes, until the pastry is golden. Transfer the squares to a rack to cool. Repeat to bake the remaining squares.

½ teaspoon finely grated lemon zest 2 tablespoons chopped dill Salt Freshly ground pepper 1 baguette, sliced ¼ inch thick 1 pound thinly sliced smoked salmon Preheat the oven on the broiler setting and position a rack 6 inches from the heat/flame. In a bowl, beat the butter with the Dijon and grainy mustards, lemon zest,1 tablespoon of the dill, and season with salt and pepper. Spread the baguette slices on a large rimmed baking sheet and broil until golden and crisp, 1 1/2 minutes per side. Let cool.

Return as many cooled squares as will fit to a baking sheet. Top each square with 1/2 teaspoon of the fig preserves. Sprinkle with the Stilton and bake for about 5 minutes, until the Stilton is melted. Serve warm or at room temperature. Make ahead: The unbaked frozen pastry squares can be frozen in an airtight container for up to 1 month.

Spread the toasts with the mustard butter, top with the smoked salmon and arrange on a platter. Sprinkle with the remaining 1 tablespoon of dill and serve. Make ahead: The mustard butter can be refrigerated overnight. Let it soften before using.

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Enjoy your Holidays! Here’s a toast to a grateful heart. Questions? You can contact me through

email at AskDawnNow@AOL.com or check out my website www.CookingwithDawn.com for info on my holiday parties, cooking classes, and

trips to Italy. “Like me” on Facebook at Cooking with Dawn Tours, LLC or join me on a foodie tour in 2015!

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