15 minute read
On Dating Scandinavians, Finnish Sámi History, and Eating Pick ‘n’ Mix
Portrait, Alisa Meledina (instagram @alisameledy)
What to know when dating in Scandinavia
Though finding a partner in a different country is becoming increasingly common, certain cultural quirks might come as a surprise. Author and director Marina Iakovleva explores dating trends around the world in her popular YouTube channel Dating Beyond Borders and her new book Sex Before Coffee: A Guide to Dating in Scandinavia. Here, she takes a deep dive into the ins and outs of dating in Scandinavia and gives us the scoop on what to do when dating a Scandinavian.
On the idea behind Dating Beyond Borders “It started with my own experience in dating foreign men. For years, I wrote a blog about my international experiences: from flings to more serious relationships and all the culture clashes that came with each. And then I had a kind of ‘aha’ moment. Why not interview men from different cultures and pose the same set of dating related questions? How would their answers differ? This became the first ever video on the channel.”
On why a book about dating Scandinavians “Scandinavian-themed videos do the best on my channel. There is a curiosity around the exotically tall, blonde and beautiful men and women. People don’t know much about them. But what sealed the deal was when I was filming in Copenhagen and interviewed a girl, asking her how people meet each other. She said: “You are horny, so you go to a club and hook up with someone. Later, if all is good, you maybe go and get a coffee.” I asked: “So sex before coffee?” She said: “Yes, sex before coffee.” That’s how that title was born and the idea was planted in my head.”
On gender roles and dating expectations “In many parts of the world, the man is expected to chase and seduce the woman, while the woman holds back on sex because that’s the way to get commitment. Scandinavian women don’t think that way. It’s “I want sex, and I’m going to go for it”. Sex is a natural thing here –talked about, encouraged, and considered a healthy and fun thing to do – rather than being kept under lock and key until a man goes through a series of courting rituals to win the woman over. Foreign men are often surprised at how forward Scandinavian women are. They have fun on their own terms, and if sex was all they want, they’ll make that clear.”
On dating “If you prefer more traditional dating, Scandinavia is definitely not your place. Gender roles are considered antiquated there. Ladies, this means you will open your own door. Your date might offer to pay the bill, but you will be expected to contribute next time. The man is not expected to lead or plan the dates; it’s an equal job. Instead, what you’ll get is someone who sees you as their equal, who respects your opinion and who shares all responsibilities with you. What he expects is a capable and equal partner. Self-sufficiency is way sexier here than high heels or tight dresses.”
On relationships “You might come from a culture where love is expressed dramatically, through grand gestures. In Scandinavia, it’s all about calmness and consistency. More about small tokens of affection rather than expensive trinkets and flowers. Dating is a much slower process here. Often starting with sex, more sex, casual hangouts, sex again, eventually leading into a relationship somewhere down the line. Forget about restaurant dates. Keep hangouts casual and laid-back and save the restaurant for when you are in a relationship.”
On flirting “Americans love big expressions. They use the word ‘love’ like it’s going extinct in the next hour. Scandinavians are subdued, direct and simple in their communication. They cringe at exaggeration, hate excessive flattery and have a radar for anything tacky and over the top. This means, as a foreigner, building yourself up, talking about the job you have and the money you make won’t score you any points. In fact, the word ‘macho’ has negative connotations in Scandinavia. Pushing to buy her a drink, offering too many compliments and overwhelming her with attention will make her run for the hills. Cool and casual wins.”
On Sex Before Coffee: A Guide to Dating in Scandinavia “Sex Before Coffee: A Guide to Dating in Scandinavia is a great read for anyone who is dating a Scandinavian but has trou-
Book Cover, Nadia Chamorra (instagram @nadiachamorra)
ble navigating cultural differences, someone new to the country looking to connect with the locals, or literally anyone who has the hots for sexy Nordic men and women.”
“The book leads the viewer through stages of dating: from making friends, to the party culture, to sex, dating and relationships, living together, meeting the parents and raising kids the Scandi way – and everything in between: why you shouldn’t go to a restaurant on the first Scandi-date; why a Scandinavian woman might be the one to approach you in a bar; why Scandinavians cannot grasp the idea of waiting to have sex; and, of course, how not to get too excited when your hot neighbour walks around the living room naked.”
If you want to know all about dating in Scandinavia, check out Marina’s book, coming out on 1 June.
To see more of Marina’s work, visit: Web: www.dating-beyond-borders.com YouTube: datingbeyondborders Instagram: datingbeyondborders TikTok: datingbeyondborders
Photo: Terhi Tuovinen
Finnish Lapland has a pristine natural beauty and is full of Arctic phenomena. It is also the most connected wilderness in the Arctic with high-quality services and a wellmaintained transport network. With both domestic and international guests visiting each year and a surface area of 100,000 square kilometres, Finnish Lapland is a magical place for anyone looking for new business adventures that are bold enough to transform the ordinary.
By Heidi Kokborg
If you are looking for authentic Arctic phenomena and wonders of nature like the northern lights, polar night and midnight sun, then Finnish Lapland is the place for you. Or perhaps you just wish to hang out with the real Santa Claus and Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer for a bit. No matter what you’re looking for, Lapland has something to offer. Here, you can marvel at the wonders of nature just by looking out your cabin window, or going for a stroll. You don’t have to venture far to experience the magic of this Arctic wilderness. “No matter the season, there is literally no other wilderness in Europe that offers the wonders of nature that Finnish Lapland does. Just imagine experiencing the midnight sun in July and standing in one-metre deep pristine, untouched snow in February,” says Salla-Mari Koistinen, programme manager at Business Lapland.
Marshmallow skies and Moomin trees Lapland covers one third of Finland, however, just three per cent of the Finnish population lives here. This means that you can truly get a feel of the Arctic wilderness and experience spectacular natural wonders without ever finding yourself in a crowded place. Discover warm, bright summers, lit up by the midnight sun; magnificent autumn colours that paint the forest floors in vivid hues of red, orange, and yellow; and the snow covered winter trees that look like images from the Moomins. Don’t miss the ‘blue hour’ and marshmallow colours during Polar night. And naturally, you have to gaze at the au-
Photo: Mikhail Sinitcyn
rora borealis – also known as the northern lights – illuminating the dark skies.
“It’s no wonder that Finnish Lapland is on the bucket list for so many travellers. It truly is a magical place like nowhere else on earth,” says Koistinen.
With five airports, five railway stations, two ports, roads connected to most of Lapland, and guests from around the world, the area is not only ideal for travellers, but also for adventurous businesspeople and investors alike.
“Getting around here is easy, and the locals are very helpful and friendly, always making sure that you are cared for. This is a place for people who do not settle for the ordinary, and who dare to seek bold and meaningful ideas,” says Koistinen.
Grab life by the antlers Lapland is for those who grab life by the antlers and are open to new adventures both at work and in their free time. There are business opportunities aplenty at the top of Europe. There is a can-do spirit and a down-to-earth approach to life, which creates a stress-free social environment with tight-knit communities.
“There are quite a lot of opportunities in Lapland for business people and investors. We have business potential for fourto-five-star units, such as well-equipped family suites. There is also plenty of room for new activities and new technologies in the tourism industry,” says Koistinen.
He continues: “Lapland has been developed for many years, and tourism continues to increase each year. Even during COVID-19 we saw an increase in overnight stays. There are already large investment plans and projects set in motion, but we know that Lapland has so much more potential.”
A sustainable business environment Finnish Lapland’s pure Arctic nature and its resources are the foundation of its sustainable business environment. Here, you will experience a one-of-akind business culture where everyone is keen to help make your dreams and business plans come alive.
“Lapland is a well-connected, stable, and functional region that delivers sustainable and reliable business opportunities. It’s for investors looking for a new, sustainable business adventure,” says Koistinen, and continues: “The most important thing is that the investors share our values about preserving Arctic nature and the local culture and communities. Lapland is for adventurous souls who are passionate about sustainability and the wilderness.”
Photo: Terhi Tuovinen
Lapland has five airports, including international airports with direct flights from Europe. In addition, the region has five railway stations and two ports. If you are interested in exploring business opportunities in Finnish Lapland, you are welcome to contact Business Lapland. Business Lapland’s marketing project is funded by the European Regional Development Fund (ERDF). Funding is provided by the Regional Council of Lapland.
Photo: Jari Romppainen Web: www.lapland.fi/business LinkedIn: business-lapland Twitter: @LaplandBusiness
Scandinavian music
Norwegian talents Röyksopp and Susanne Sundfør have gotten together again after a host of brilliant pairings through the years. They’re now back with If You Want Me, a beautiful piece of extended downbeat electronica. They’ve resisted an attempt to match the pounding euphoria of their past collaborations, and have instead put everything into something fresh. The result is a stunning epic that plays out as a haunting Norwegian folk ballad, transported to the modern day in a cloud of mystique.
Sweden’s Måns Zelmerlöw is back with a brand-new single, What You Were Made For. On it, Måns has gone all ’80s on us. And not the cool synth-y stuff, either. This is full-on, jubilant pop cheese, the sort which would have soundtracked the top summer Box Office of 1988, and which you would have rented down your local Blockbuster six months later. And it totally suits him, too!
The Icelandic artist Sylvia Erla has got a new single out called Down Together. It’s an atmospheric piece of electronic chill that invites you to lie back and get lost in it for three minutes. And honestly, who are we to refuse? Listening to this is tonic, a pleasure, and an experience you’ll want to keep coming back to.
New music has arrived from the Swedish songwriter to the stars – turned star in the making himself – Joel: his second single, Good Parts. It’s a lyrically brilliant composition about relishing in the fact that yes, you’ve been dumped – but look at all the lessons you can take from that relationship to put into your next one. He’s revelling in his new-found knowledge, and the track has been afforded an equally jubilant production to complement such a sentiment.
Finally, let’s end on a sugary high! Norwegian artist Raylee has got a new single out called Mojito. It’s refreshing; intoxi-
By Karl Batterbee
cating even. A tropically-themed pop tune that veers from tempo to tempo, going from bang to bliss and back again. It’s a rum-fuelled ride, alright.
Web: www.scandipop.co.uk
The ‘real’ pick ‘n’ mix
They will never understand real pick ‘n’ mix here, not really. Do you remember that sweet (pardon the pun) feeling of walking into a shop completely dedicated to pick ‘n’ mix? I’m not talking old-fashioned sweet shops, with walls lined with out of date dolly mixture and gummy bears behind a counter – I’m talking real sweets. Picture a whole wall of liquorice – salty, sweet, double, triple; another wall of hard, heavy sweets; a third for fruity gummy flavours; and maybe a fourth for wrapped sweets and chocolate.
A bag of carefully-selected sweets say a lot about who you are – or who you’d like to be perceived as. People will peer into your bag of pick ‘n’ mix and judge you. One of my sisters always picks old granny sweets – arrak-flavoured with muted colours. The other sister will pick the sour ones. And I do judge them, think less of them, pity them.
The British have a real understanding of other unhealthy treats. They deep fry stuff in a way Swedes will never be able to do. My teeth are grateful for the Brits’ ignorance of pick ‘n’ mix and I don’t have as many heart palpitations since I stopped eating all that salty liquorice, but on rare outings to the cinema, or on days when I’ve cleaned the flat and think I deserve of a treat, I long for the pick ‘n’ mix stores of Sweden. I long for the walls of confectionary, for the moment before you put your little shovel into a box of salty sweets and for the satisfying weight of a perfectly-balanced bag of pick ‘n’ mix.
Mum, send some, will you?
By Gabi Froden
Gabi Froden is a Swedish illustrator and writer, living in Glasgow with her husband and two children. Her children’s and YA books are published in Sweden by Bonnier Carlsen and Natur&Kultur. www.gabifroden.com
Scandinavian Culture Calendar
– Where to go, what to see? It’s all happening here!
By Hanna Heiskanen
Urban Moves Oslo (15 to 19 June) Immerse yourself in hip-hop, pop, house, dancehall and more at a festival that brings together some of the best in urban dance. In addition to workshops for professionals, you can get tickets for battles, performances and parties, as well as a talk with US dance legend Suga Pop. Vulkan 1, Oslo dansenshus.com
Piknik i Parken (16 to 18 June) Piknik i Parken is a cosy urban music festival that takes place in an Oslo park. Cosy doesn’t mean giving up on quality, though: purchase your ticket to see acts such as Röyksopp, Grace Jones, Jamie XX and Two Door Cinema Club. Children under 12 enter for free. Sofienbergparken, Oslo pipfest.no
Roskilde Festival (25 June to 2 July) No summer of music is truly complete without Roskilde, this year making its much-anticipated post-Covid return. First organised in 1971, the festival is one of the biggest in Europe. In addition to headliners such as Post Malone and Biffy Clyro, you can check out nearly 70 new acts. Beyond regular programming, there is a focus on Ukraine and solidarity, with visual arts and a community centre. Festivalpladsen, Darupvej 19, Roskilde roskilde-festival.dk
Ice Hot – Nordic Dance Helsinki 2022 (29 June to 3 July) Need to cool off in the summer heat? Head to the Ice Hot festival of contemporary dance. The event, which is hosted by a different Nordic capital each year, returns Play I(TicTacToe)by Kaija Hinkula.
to Helsinki after ten years with more than 20 performances by both emerging talents and seasoned professionals. Venues around Helsinki icehotnordicdance.com
Lollapalooza Stockholm (1 to 3 July) Lollapalooza, which originated in Chicago, has a Nordic edition, too. Lollapalooza Stockholm’s second edition promises to be at least as big as the first, which gathered a crowd of nearly 60,000. The location is ideal: in central Stockholm and by the Baltic Sea. Acts include The Killers, Måneskin and Pearl Jam. Gärdet, Stockholm lollastockholm.com Kaija Hinkula: PLAY (until 11 September) Oulu Museum of Art is putting up a summer exhibition that is all about imagination and creativity. Oulu-based artist Kaija Hinkula’s work expands beyond paintings to three dimensional experiences. Colour is a key theme in the artworks that can be experienced not just by looking, but also walking through them. Kasarmintie 9, Oulu ouka.fi/oulu/luuppi-english
Roskilde is a summer staple. Photo: Jens Dige / Rockphoto Erró: The Power of Images (until 29 September) Erró (b. 1932) is one of Iceland’s best internationally-known artists. This ex-
Pearl Jam will be playing at Lollapalooza Stockholm. Photo: Danny Clinch
Ice Hot - Nordic Dance Helsinki. Photo: Kai Kuusisto
Come to Norden exhibition at Nordiska Museet. Photo: Peter Segemark / Nordiska museet
hibition provides a comprehensive overview of his artistic career which, inspired by Pop Art, has developed into complex painted collages, often with a critical approach to modern life. There are more than 300 works on display, ranging from painting to video. Tryggvagata 17, Reykjavík listasafnreykjavikur.is
Come to Norden (until 6 November) How have the Nordic countries tried to tempt tourists over time? The Come to Norden exhibition explores travel posters from the 19th century to the 1960s and is a visual feast that might also help you find your next holiday destination. The exhibition has a family trail for children. Djurgårdsvägen 6-16 nordiskamuseet.se
