An Ode to NICU Moms The resilience of parents with babies in neonatal intensive care
Story and photoGRAPHY By Laura Vladimirova
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arents of babies who have a stay in the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) face a higher risk of developing perinatal mood disorders (PMADs), like anxiety and depression, and they may be at greater risk for post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Evelyn Evelyn, an NYC-based psychotherapist who specializes in perinatal wellness, knows firsthand how challenging life for NICU parents can be. She has supported plenty of clients whose babies came earlier than expected. It was only when her own son was born at 26 weeks that she began to understand the heartache and strength it takes to be a NICU parent. Henry weighed one pound and ten ounces when he was born and spent a total of 121 days in the NICU. “The first few days were pure grief,” said Evelyn. “Then, guilt. All I could think was, ‘Why did my body do this? What happened here is my fault.” But after some time, Evelyn leaned into the idea that she had to be present for her son. She learned that she had to be present with the baby that was there. “He’s a baby. This isn’t the pregnancy I thought I was going to have or the baby I thought I was going to have, but I want to have a relationship with him now, with my baby,” said Evelyn. There are so many moments of uncertainty, worry, and the unknown for a new family with a baby in the NICU. There is also something else: Resilience. Resilience can be the glue that holds a new family together during such a scary and delicate time. Resilience doesn’t look the same for every family. For Evelyn and her husband, Bryce, they went into what Evelyn calls “doer mode.” Her world got small. She shut out anything that didn’t immediately have to
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NewYorkFamily.com | March 2020
Evelyn
Evelyn’s son Henry was born at 26 weeks and weighed one pound and ten ounces. He spent 121 days in the NICU.
