The buy-in cheatsheet

The

BUY-IN CHEATSHEET 5 ways to triple your buy-in from coaches, athletes, and parents (without damaging your relationships)

CREDIT The ebook was created by Science for Sport Ltd. It was written and produced

by Ben Daly and Kieron Lester, respectively. All rights reserved 2019.

For sports performance coaches around the world, Science for Sport is their go-to resource for evidence-based information.

Ben currently works as National Performance Coach with Hong Kong Rugby Union. He completed his MSc in Strength and Conditioning from St Mary’s University, Twickenham and has previously worked in private facilities and team settings in Ireland, Texas, and Sweden.

Kieron is a Strength & Conditioning Coach at the Melbourne Centre for Athletic Performance. Prior to this, he gained experience within the AFL, Super Rugby and NCAA, and is currently finalising his MSc in S&C at Edith Cowan University.

BUY-IN CHEATSHEET

CONTENTS What's in this cheatsheet guide?

Introduction Never tell somebody they're wrong, ever!

Re-frame the idea Listen to understand Find a point of agreement Get to know your opposition Conclusion The Buy-In Checklist - Do NOT forget this Example Video: Brett Bartholomew with Dr. Ian McKeown References

BUY-IN CHEATSHEET

INTRODUCTION One of the most infuriating challenges we face as strength and conditioning coaches or sports scientists is to get buy-in from head coaches, athletes, parents, etc. when it comes to teaching them the importance of your training methods (e.g. performance enhancement, injury prevention, or long-term athletic development).

For example, it could be the players themselves, a head coach who is set on doing CrossFit, or a parent who thinks strength training is dangerous for their child. Whatever the situation, I would bet my house that you have tried to change somebody’s mind to see your way of thinking and had a variety of success (i.e. sometimes great, other times horrific).

Think back to the last time you had a disagreement or argument with a coach (or anyone). What was your approach to the situation, was it any of the following?

Did you hammer them with evidence to prove your point or discuss the benefits of a certain training intervention?

Did you agree on a mutual decision or were you more opposed to each other’s ideas than before?

What was the outcome of the discussion?

Respectful conflict and disagreements are the breeding grounds of progression. If we never confronted each other we would be doing exactly the opposite of what we preach as strength and conditioning coaches – critical evaluation and evolution of practice. To quote the Roman philosopher, Saneca:

“A gem cannot be polished without friction, nor a man perfected without trials”

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However, the truth is that no matter how much we like to believe we are impartial, our egos often go hand-inhand with our opinions, making it hard for us to change our minds. Doing this often results in heated debate, arguments and potentially a breakdown in relationships.

If you follow these proven and very powerful tips, chances are you will be more than satisfied with the outcome of these types of discussions. When it comes to your work, these tips/skills will help you become a valuable member of your coaching staff and keep your professional relationships thriving.

Many of these ideas are well documented through the extensive work of Dale Carnegie, and while these tips have been separated, they are by no means individual and work best when used together. Therefore, you must think of these tips more as a deeply linked set of skills to use in any human interaction. And, if you wish to learn more about the work of Dale Carnegie, then you can do so by reading his book “How to Win Friends and Influence People”.

If you learn these tips and turn them into skills, this will be the most powerful thing you learned today…

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Exhausted from having no free time?

Sick of having no money to spend on your personal development?

Frustrated with the lack of opportunity in your network?

So were over 1,900+ coaches before they started a Science for Sport membership.

Now, we save them hours of time each month.

We deliver them with relevant, easy to digest sports science research reviews with findings that they can apply into their practice in minutes.

They've also built an impressive network through our membersonly group, The Coaches Club.

All through one simple, affordable monthly membership.

If you want to feel less stress and more relief, hit the button coach.Â

TAKE CHARGE OF YOUR CAREER

1 Never Tell Somebody They Are Wrong, Ever!

STEP ONE The cardinal rule of any respectful conversation is to never tell somebody they are wrong, either directly or indirectly. As much as you may want to, don't do it or the debate will go southward very quickly.

Assuming you view yourself as an evidence-based practitioner, it is more than likely your instinct will be to bombard the other person with evidence and information to prove your own opinions as fact - this is a huge mistake!

The reason this is a big mistake is because the second you start bombarding the other person with evidence, you begin discrediting their evidence and opinion. However, with all the facts in the world and no consideration for the other person, you are highly unlikely to get through.

Facts don't convince people. This is a vital point to remember so I'll repeat it…

Facts do not convince people!

Especially when we already have an opinion on the matter, we are more than happy to disregard evidence that contradicts our point of view and agree with those that support our views, regardless of the reliability of such information.

In fact, evidence shows (2) that when we do try to bombard people with our own evidence, it can cause people to polarise their opinions.

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According to Lord, Ross, & Lepper (1979) we often find flaws to debunk and disregard information that confounds our own beliefs or place a bias on evidence that verifies them. People are likely to examine relevant evidence in a biased manner, accepting evidence that is consistent with their views without further scrutiny while subjecting evidence that contradicts their views to intense scrutiny, thus polarizing our opinions.

That is because strong emotional attachments often come with such grounded beliefs. Let use animal hunting advocates, for example, they belief that what they're doing is positive and have strong emotional attachments to it. By disregarding their beliefs, that what they're doing is incorrect, you threaten their ego which in turn causes strong emotions and a defensive argument leading to conflict.

The second key point of disagreement is this…

Never try to win the argument!

Rather than providing evidence in order to prove a point, outline your opinions and why you think so based on your interpretation of events, information, and evidence. Avoid looking like you are trying to prove something. Understand that you may be wrong and let them know it, for example, by saying: “I might be wrong, but from what I understand after having read into it…”

Again, emotions play a major impact in decisions, so let them understand you are open to changing your mind and you're willing to put your ego aside and they will likely do the same. Fail to do this, however, and you'll likely hit a brick wall when it comes to convincing them otherwise.

BUY-IN CHEATSHEET

Exhausted from having no free time?

Sick of having no money to spend on your personal development?

Frustrated with the lack of opportunity in your network?

So were over 1,900+ coaches before they started a Science for Sport membership.

Now, we save them hours of time each month.

We deliver them with relevant, easy to digest sports science research reviews with findings that they can apply into their practice in minutes.

They've also built an impressive network through our membersonly group, The Coaches Club.

All through one simple, affordable monthly membership.

If you want to feel less stress and more relief, hit the button coach.Â

TAKE CHARGE OF YOUR CAREER

2 Re-frame The Idea

STEP TWO If you forcefully try to change somebody's mind, often they will become more opposed to the idea than ever before and show even greater resistance. Nickerson (1998) and Kunda (1990) first introduced the theories of Confirmation Bias and motivated reasoning, respectively. These explain that when presented with new information, humans have tendencies to gravitate towards ideas if they conform with their own, while rejecting anything to the contrary (1, 3).

As will be explained in step number 3, people are likely to polarise their opinions in the face of new ideas. In order to change somebody's mind you must change the perspective of your opponent and enable them to view the argument or your point differently. This may be done by discovering what their desired outcome is, then explaining how your ideas will benefit them.

Another theory - the ‘illusion of explanatory depth’ (4) - explains that we often think we have a deeper understanding about various topics than we actually do. Understanding that you do not hold a certain expertise results in withdrawal and openness to new information. To change a coach or parent's mind, we must let them realise that we have a certain expertise that they do not possess. Doing this without telling them their opinion is wrong requires skill but there is one word that will make your life much easier…

“Because” By giving the head coach, for example, a sound rationale for your interventions (e.g. speed micro-dosing) and opening their eyes to your perspective, it will enable them to better understand your decision making and will help them become more accepting of your ideas and interventions. For this, I will give the common example of a coach observing a speed session in which there is a prolonged rest period.

BUY-IN CHEATSHEET

Here’ s the example…

A traditional coach may be frustrated by the amount of rest and think that the players are not working hard enough. In order to change the perspective of the coach, you must firstly explain to them the priority of the session.

Once you have both agreed that the goal of the session is to increase maximum speed, you should explain to them that in order to do so, the players must be fully recovered between repetitions - hence the long rest periods. The result of this interaction will be him or her better understanding the mechanisms behind speed training and what the sessions will look like in the future.

In a nutshell, what you've done is explain that you're delivering a speed session and get them to agree with you on the fact that the athletes’ effort must be at 100%. Once you’ve both agreed on that, you then need to explain that because they're working at 100%, they also need sufficient rest to ensure they're reaping the maximum benefit.

BUY-IN CHEATSHEET

Exhausted from having no free time?

Sick of having no money to spend on your personal development?

Frustrated with the lack of opportunity in your network?

So were over 1,900+ coaches before they started a Science for Sport membership.

Now, we save them hours of time each month.

We deliver them with relevant, easy to digest sports science research reviews with findings that they can apply into their practice in minutes.

They've also built an impressive network through our membersonly group, The Coaches Club.

All through one simple, affordable monthly membership.

If you want to feel less stress and more relief, hit the button coach.Â

TAKE CHARGE OF YOUR CAREER

3 Listen To Understand

STEP THREE

The second rule of dealing with people is to listen to understand, rather than listening to simply reply or argue. Instinctively, and all too often, our priority is for them to listen to us and our opinions so that we can change their minds. A vital point to remember when disagreeing with someone and trying to change their mind is this…

Never interrupt them, ever! Instead, you should do this…

In order to do this, make sure you let the other person to do a great deal of talking.

This can be difficult to imagine or put into practice, especially when you know for a fact their claims are erroneous. However, typically speaking, people love to have their opinions and knowledge heard, so you getting them to talk on and on about their beliefs can actually be pretty easy. So, when you give someone else the chance to talk a lot, they'll likely enjoy the conversation more (because they're sharing all their “wisdom” with you) and that provides you with a better chance to have your input. Doing this, and listening to what they have to say, helps show them that you're open-minded and have a willingness to change.

When you think of how to change somebody's mind, you probably try to find faults in their arguments in order to discredit them – this is a huge novice mistake!

BUY-IN CHEATSHEET

Let me explain‌ Instead, show them that you care about their opinions and ideas, this will help you earn their respect and trust – two vital things you're going to need if you wish to change their opinion/open their mind. Show that you are willing to listen, and then they will be more likely to listen to your ideas. By listening to what they have to say, not only does it soften their attitude to be more receptive to your ideas, but it also helps you understand what their primary concerns are.

A classic example that you have more than likely have dealt with previously, is a parent being worried about their son lifting weights. While it is vital to change their opinion on this topic, it would be foolish to immediately try and persuade them otherwise. Even though you know their opinion is incorrect, let them voice their concerns, and from that you can present your ideas.

Understand their primary concerns/objections first.

Doing this, will provide you with the key information you need in order to structure your response and thus try to change their opinion.

If the worries are injury related, you can explain the benefits of resistance training on injury prevention. If they are worried their child will get too big from lifting weights, then you can explain how strength adaptions are primarily neural and how it will primarily develop motor coordination rather than having any major hypertrophic gains.

Discover their needs. This means you can come up with a mutually-agreeable plan. It's best to take a step back and truly try to understand the other person's perspective, validate his or her point of view, and then work with them to arrive at your desired outcome or solution.

BUY-IN CHEATSHEET

Exhausted from having no free time?

Sick of having no money to spend on your personal development?

Frustrated with the lack of opportunity in your network?

So were over 1,900+ coaches before they started a Science for Sport membership.

Now, we save them hours of time each month.

We deliver them with relevant, easy to digest sports science research reviews with findings that they can apply into their practice in minutes.

They've also built an impressive network through our membersonly group, The Coaches Club.

All through one simple, affordable monthly membership.

If you want to feel less stress and more relief, hit the button coach.Â

TAKE CHARGE OF YOUR CAREER

4 Find A Point Of Agreement

STEP FOUR

One of the first things you should always do in any discussion or debate is to try and find a point of agreement. Pressure always creates resistance, so it's crucial that you get them on your side as soon as possible. Express support for whatever truths you can find in the other person's decisions and opinions and they will be more likely to be open to your ideas.

Humans are social animals, and therefore, have a natural craving for gratification and a feeling of self-identity and worth. By complimenting them or pointing out aspects of their opinions that you agree with, the sense of affirmation makes it more likely for someone to consider your perspective.

This is very important, so important in fact that I’m going to say it again…

Humans are social animals, and therefore, have a natural craving for gratification and a feeling of self-identity and worth. By complimenting them or pointing out aspects of their opinions that you agree with, the sense of affirmation makes it more likely for someone to consider your perspective.

As well as highlighting the positives of their ideologies, ensure to be upfront with the drawbacks of your own personal argument and realise potential flaws. By admitting shortcomings of your ideas, you are showing them that you are open to changing your mind as much as you would like them to. Once this has been achieved, together you can then come up with a more robust and worthwhile solution for your organisation, players, and clients.

BUY-IN CHEATSHEET

5 Get To Know Your Opposition

STEP FIVE By getting to know the coach, player, or athlete you are dealing with, you will understand both their concerns and motivations. Following step number 2, by listening and understanding their perspective, you can propose an idea that will be most suited to their needs.

We are naturally selfish animals (it's a survival trait that has served us very well), but this means that people are only interested in themselves – and those very close to them. This is important to understand because it means people are more likely to be open to ideas if you appeal to their personal interests. In order to change somebody's mind, you must build their trust, find a common motive, and understand how to appeal to their specific needs.

With this in mind, a knowledge of the phenomenon of ‘In-group’ and ‘Out-group’ bias helps us understand how to tap into the minds of our opponent, and following Step #2, helps us reframe the idea to conform with their own ideas.

In-group and Out-group bias states that people are often sceptical of those who are not inside our social circle, and therefore do not fully trust information from these sources. Like step number 2, simply citing a higher authority which they do not know or trust, may result in them discrediting your information. However, by understanding your opposition, you can cite sources that the coach or parent trusts and will likely accept this new information.

If you know the specific needs, interests, and even beliefs and culture of those whom you are dealing with, you can prepare your discussion and frame it in a way that their needs will be fulfilled. As with step number 4, if you can find a point of agreement and show them that you share common beliefs, values, and opinions, you become a part of their inner circle (i.e. in-group), you build their trust a lot easier, and they are more susceptible to listen to your ideas.

Once you've achieved this, then you're perfectly positioned to share your knowledge and opinions. And remember, the reason we say “knowledge” and “opinions” is because you should never treat them as cold, hard facts when you’re trying to persuade them or you'll polarise their opinions – and that last thing you want to do because it's incredibly difficult to reverse once it's been done.

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CONCLUSION

CONCLUSION With scientific research being the backbone of our profession, it is necessary for us to be able to evaluate research and new information critically and rationally to determine the best possible outcome. However, humans are irrational animals who often discredit sound information that does not support our own opinions. For you, it may seem completely reasonable for a coach to change their mind to conform to your ideas, but it is important to know that opinions are deeply grounded by numerous social and psychological factors.

The ability to change your mind with new and better information is an admirable trait and should be encouraged. It requires trust and respect, demands empathy, vulnerability and courage. Changing your mind about something takes time and effort, and potentially a significant blow to your ego.

Be aware of this the next time you are approached by an unconvinced parent or a stubborn coach. Know that simply providing information to them to prove them wrong will likely polarise their opinion and likely make matters worse.

Instead, understand their specific needs and interests by listening intently to open a healthy dialogue. Be empathetic towards situations, be open to their opinions, and through constant dialogue you can decide on the most informed and beneficial decision possible.

BUY-IN CHEATSHEET

Exhausted from having no free time?

Sick of having no money to spend on your personal development?

Frustrated with the lack of opportunity in your network?

So were over 1,900+ coaches before they started a Science for Sport membership.

Now, we save them hours of time each month.

We deliver them with relevant, easy to digest sports science research reviews with findings that they can apply into their practice in minutes.

They've also built an impressive network through our membersonly group, The Coaches Club.

All through one simple, affordable monthly membership.

If you want to feel less stress and more relief, hit the button coach.Â

TAKE CHARGE OF YOUR CAREER

“Being open-minded; it doesn't mean just believing everything because you want it to be true. Being truly openminded is about being prepared to change your beliefs based on evidence or lack of evidence." – Darren Brown

THE BUY-IN CHECKLIST Never tell them they're wrong, ever.

Get to know your opposition.

Always find out what their primary concerns/objections are.

Discover their needs/wants.

Find a point of agreement.

Express support for whatever truths you can find in the other person's opinions.

Be upfront with the other person regarding the drawbacks of your own personal argument and realise its potential flaws.

BUY-IN CHEATSHEET

EXAMPLE Now you have newfound knowledge regarding what works and what doesn't work, I want to show you this hypothetical example.

You must, however, remember that this example from Alan Aragon is hypothetical, but if you recall everything we've just taught you, you'll know that this method of citing research and logic is not going to work.

Click the image to read the full discussion.

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VIDEO DISCUSSION How To Build Buy-In With Sport Coaches ft. Brett Bartholomew & Dr. Ian McKeown This video is a great discussion between two leaders in the sports performance industry. They discuss some of the most frustrating aspects of building buy-in, preventing conflict, and maintaining healthy working relationships.

Click the image to watch the video

Credit to ArtofCoaching.com for putting out this great video. If you're interested in learning more about building buy-in, then check out this online course - "Bought-In"

BUY-IN CHEATSHEET

Exhausted from having no free time?

Sick of having no money to spend on your personal development?

Frustrated with the lack of opportunity in your network?

So were over 1,900+ coaches before they started a Science for Sport membership.

Now, we save them hours of time each month.

We deliver them with relevant, easy to digest sports science research reviews with findings that they can apply into their practice in minutes.

They've also built an impressive network through our membersonly group, The Coaches Club.

All through one simple, affordable monthly membership.

If you want to feel less stress and more relief, hit the button coach.Â

TAKE CHARGE OF YOUR CAREER

REFERENCES

REFERENCES 1. Kunda, Z. (1990). The Case for Motivated Reasoning, 108(3), 480–498.

2. Lord, C. G., Ross, L., & Lepper, M. R. (1979). Biased Assimilation and Attitude Polarization : The Effects of Prior Theories on Subsequently Considered Evidence. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 37(11), 2098–2109.

3. Nickerson, R. S. (1998). Confirmation Bias : A Ubiquitous Phenomenon in Many Guises. Review of General Psychology, 2(2), 175–220.

4. Rozenblit, L., & Keil, F. (2002). The misunderstood limits of folk science: an illusion of explanatory depth. Cognitive Science, 26(5), 521–562. https://doi.org/10.1207/s15516709cog2605.

BUY-IN CHEATSHEET