Becoming a Masterful Man by Ron Anderson, CPA

My story is unique in its particulars, but the same in the joy, sweat, pain and agonies of all such journeys to the essence of being human, a male, of becoming a Masterful Man.

by Ron Anderson

BECOMING A MASTERFUL MAN

A Manhood, that prize more easily pursued with the Type A personality our culture prizes as “Manhood or Being A Man”. A Man of action, strength, bravery, determination, in sum, of deeds.

This path is neither short nor straight, neither easy nor with a clear end, an arrival. Its achievements earned more as a matter of time and place and chance, than from a set goal and progression to a destination that blurs and recedes as life unfolds, becoming merely a prerequisite, a foundation from which understanding a deeper inner meaning becomes possible. My story is unique in its particulars, but the same in the joy, sweat, pain and agonies of all such journeys to the essence of being human, a male, of becoming a Masterful Man. I started this journey long ago in a small mining town in the Rocky Mountains..

by Ron Anderson, CPA

www.ronandersoncpa.com

Manhood or Being A Man

The shrill starting whistle pierced the air as I sprinted off the starting line. The community picnic was exciting for a ten year old watching the tugs of war, sack hops, relays until I found myself, one of maybe 30 other boys, side by side on a starting line for a 40 yard footrace. The pressure was intense as my father was watching, and soon boys started fading from view behind me, but as the

nish line

approached a bigger boy came into my peripheral vision and was overtaking me. A fear of losing seized by mind, and instead of a mighty effort to regain the lead I fell to the ground crying!

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Would I ever be able to make my father proud of me?

Fear:

The mining boom town culture that I lived in provided a constant reminder that to become accepted one must learn to be a man, to put in a days work, to take his place among men in the community. I was too young to lift the bale of hay, but I could pierce it with the hay hook and drag it to where the tractor was going so my Dad and his friends would not have to carry the bale. Thus I was able to be of help in the hot elds and year by year I grew stronger.

One day, a few years later, we were nishing the last tier of hay on the truck before leaving for the barn. The others would hoist the hay to the side of the load and the stacker would reach down, thrust the hay hook into the bale and lift it to the top for stacking. This was my day, and as the stacker waited for my bale, my concentration narrowed, my energy focused on the hay, my grip tightened on the twine as I wound up, gave it a boost and a shove and hit the stacker in the chest, nearly knocking him off the high stack of hay. My Dad and his friends roared with laughter and I was lled with the satisfaction that acceptance was gradually being earned.

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A man must earn the dignity of doing a days work well.

Earning my way:

High school athletics soon provided the next opportunity to prove myself. I became cocaptain of the football team and although Wallace was the smallest school in our conference, we won the title my senior year, beating a team that was ranked in the State!

In the winter I longed to play basketball, but was barely good enough to make the traveling team. Then, in my junior year, a wrestling program was started. I knew I would never make the varsity basketball team so I walked on the mat and began learning to “grapple”. At the end of the season I had won district and was on my way to Boise and the State tournament! This was exciting, but in the back of my head I knew we were too inexperienced to compete, in Southern Idaho they started wrestling in grade school. The tournament began and my teammates lost their rst matches, but I won the rst and then the second and found myself in the seminals. My opponent was strong and after a long contest I defeated him 10-5 to move into the nals. Much later I was informed that this opponent had defeated the defending State champion in district, but this knowledge was not available then to provide encouragement or con dence, and I approached the championship match still thinking I don’t belong here, am not experienced enough, how did I ever get this far anyway? I lost by decision 6-4 and accepted my silver medal on the second step of the platform.

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A man must believe in himself and his abilities to make success possible.

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Doubt:

Pondering the tournament, the realization that I could have won, could have been champion if only I had the con dence and will to win. At this point, a few days after returning home, I told myself that I was State Champion, and being a junior, would return next year to claim my gold medal. Not compete for it, but to get what was mine, the only condition was that it would be a year of hard work and I had to win the nal match in the spotlight, in front of a full arena that would be cheering for my opponent. And there, one year later, under the glare of the lights I stood in the middle of the mat, facing the State Champion who last year d e f eat e d m e a n d w a s u n t i l t h e n undefeated. I pinned him in the

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round, became the rst State Champion from North Idaho, and claimed my gold medal. From that moment, con dence became my companion and banished all doubt and fear from my life.

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A man must persist until he succeeds.

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Con dence & belief:

Thus ended my high school days and I soon took my rst job 4,600 feet below the surface of the earth (about 1,800 feet below sea level) in the Galena mine. I could tell many stories of the constricted, hot, wet, smelly conditions deep in the earth and of the dangers and close calls but that was life in Wallace and what a man did. But something was calling me, another chance to prove myself, to take my place among the nest, I joined the Marine Corps.

A man must live his values through his actions.

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Duty, honor, courage, commitment:

At

rst boot camp seemed unconnected,

making your bed, your “rack”, every morning so that a quarter would bounce off the blanket, marching with precision, endless drills and devious punishments for any small infraction, while enduring continuous stress, abuse and insults from the drill instructors.

But something else, something beyond the ri e range, shooting, combat training and conditioning, we learned Marine Corps history, the battles, the courage, the Marines that came before us and upheld the tradition, the tradition we would be expected to uphold, once we earned the title of Marine.

Our motto, Semper Fidelis, Always Faithful, is a part of me today. You don’t join the Marines, you become one! I gave up a lot to join but gained much more, I am a Marine.

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A Man must know and be true to his values to be true to himself.

At this stage in my life achieving my goals became a matter xing the goal in my mind and doing what was necessary to achieve it.

Graduating from Gonzaga University with a degree in accounting, later earning a masters degree. Working for an international accounting rm auditing public companies. Meeting a woman and falling in love, getting married and a few years later our daughter was born, all the while, manhood evolving into responsibility, becoming a provider, nourishing a life with two wonderful women.

A m a n m u st b e st ro n g a n d dependable so he can be a good husband and father.

I knew that working for someone was not my ambition nor the best way to provide for my family, so in 1986, the year Vanessa was born, a month earlier moving into the dream house we had built, I quit my secure job and started my own accounting practice. It was scary, especially for my wife. Luck being opportunity meeting preparation, a business needing my particular expertise was referred to me and my practice was off and running and I have never looked back.

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A man must face his fears so they do not become his limits.

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Family and work:

My love of action never waned. My father, brother and I made many hunting and pack trips with the horses, twice making thirty day pack trips into wilderness areas. My love for the ring, for intense competition, remained as strong as ever. “Fighting is about identity, you are forced to learn who you are. You have to ght like who you are. You have to honor your true nature.

Fighting forces honesty down your throat. That journey to self discovery is a major reason why a lot of men are drawn to the ght world.”

Being nearly thirty and not wanting to wake up an old man and regretting that I had not tested myself in the ring, I put on the gloves and had twenty-two golden gloves ghts and worked out with sparring partners in gyms throughout my 30's and 40's, and then,

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cage ghting became popular!

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Testing what is deep inside:

A man must push himself to know at an emotional level that he will not falter in the face of adversity and overwhelming challenges.

Link to Flight

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ghting, this was too good to be true, everything was a weapon, the ultimate test of your ability to overcome your doubts and fears, a test whether you can you push yourself to your limits and beyond, and a test of how much of yourself you are willing to expend in your search of excellence? I was now fty and training with a group of twenty year olds who were all competing. Before one match they asked if I was going to weigh in? “Of course you are crazy?”, I proclaimed, but my mind wouldn’t let go and soon I had to know if I still had what it took to get into the ring, anything goes style? At the weighin I was matched with a twenty year old college th wrestler who placed 4 in the nation heavyweight later that year, then turned pro and fought UFC for eight years. He was a head taller and twenty- ve pounds heavier, and I had seen him ght, or rather take people down and pound them into submission, twice before. There could be no turning back and I stepped into the ring, resolved to make it

a boxing match, counting on my right hand to be the equalizer during the two ve minute rounds that lay ahead. At the nal bell, after suffering a broken knuckle on one nger, being sou ex on my head and collecting a knee in the rib, the right hand persisted and I was victorious. See highlights at www.ronandersoncpa.com. “Only those who dare to lose, win!” And now I knew the answers to the tests. This was seventeen years ago and if I hadn’t fought, I would not be able to relate any of my story to you today, for this con rmed who I am, and what I value..

I learned that when called upon to reach deep I will nd a resolute heart willing …

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nd and not to yield”.

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“to strive, to seek, to

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Cage

Loss and pain: Con dent, successful, happily married, life was all you could ask. It is easy to start believing that I did this, to let the ego, the “I”, be in charge and shun the inner life that connects the soul to creation. I soon learned that God can get your attention, however much you resist.

My wife developed blood clots that blocked parts of her lungs. The blessing of a double lung-heart transplant saved her life, but then, after six years, her immune system attacked the foreign organs, and destroyed them. Helplessly watching her die was the worst experience of my life, and Vanessa, who had just

nished her junior year, was

without a mother. With good friends, work, and her busy senior year, we made it through, but then tragedy, my Dad got sick and died a year after Colleen, and my Mom, who had been ghting cancer, died a year after Dad! This was too much, nearly everyone I loved dying within two years and so I went to the Cathedral to have a talk with God, “Isn’t this enough, can we ease off for awhile, what am I supposed to learn from this, how much do you think I can take........” He was getting all my anger and rage but then a calm came over me and my voice changed and out came, “you had twenty-one wonderful years together- her work is done here. Vanessa is healthy and well adjusted, you have many close friends that helped you through” ........and then I knew who was talking and I nodded and said, “yes, you are right, I have had many more blessings than I deserve, thank you. Please hold Colleen in the palm of your hand.”

Peace came over me as I left the Cathedral.

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A man must be humble enough to follow the spirit, it is not about you.

Nearly six years ago I met Nick Ellis and his teacher, Sifu Singh, who introduced me to Jeet Kune Do, a program of martial arts and body and mind training. The “Way” is found by controlling the breath, calming the mind and being present in the moment. Even though chaos may be everywhere, you become free of emotion and able to act. To act with a degree of abandon but at the same time with a degree of control over yourself.

Developing an understanding, not as a set of

A man must be true to himself so that he cannot then be false to other men.

words, but deeper, a clarity, a feeling, an emotional acceptance of yourself and life is the purpose of JKD. A pointing of the way to the path of self discovery.

This story brings you to near the end of my sixty-eight year.

Each lesson learned during this time, each self imposed limit faced and overcome, raised me to another level of consciousness and new challenges. Like any man, I accepted everything that was a man’s lot – joy, pain, sadness and struggle. Among these turns I nd a wealth of blessings and savor each new day. To quote Tenneson, “How dull it is to pause, to make and end, to rust unburnished not to shine in use, as though to breathe were life, life piled on life” And so, with a warriors heart, my intention is to learn, always to act with abandon but with control over myself, to become a Masterful Man. A Masterful Man then holds the values of courage and commitment, is a good husband and father. A Masterful Man develops this to the fullest by mastering his own breath, quieting his own mind, allowing the Yin and Yang to ow in a balanced vibration.. Most of all, a Masterful Man understands:

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He who conquers others is strong; He who conquers himself is mighty.

The Yin and the Yang:

In September, 2017 I returned from a twelve day moose hunting trip, living on a boat, on the Yukon and Koyukut Rivers in Alaska, just under the arctic circle. Hunting in the rain, savoring the wilderness, pondering life, packing out a nice bull moose. This adventure proved again that the chief things we regret later in life are the things we never did. Age is not a deterrent, your mind and its fears hold you back. The fears we don’t face become our limits.

Living without limits brings meaning and satisfaction to life.

It is a tragedy to let life slip away in a series of missed opportunities.

www.ronandersoncpa.com

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