The Score Magazine, Feb-March 2010

February-March 2010 Vol 03 Issue 01

For Private Circulation Only ISSN 0974 – 9128

SUNITHA SARATHY A GOOD VOICE CAN SELL DEAD MOSQUITOES

SUZANNE D’MELLO I WOULD LIKE TO date ANGELINA JOLIE

KARTHIK reel singer turned rockstar!

Copyright © 2009 DW STUDIOS L.L.C. and COLD SPRING PICTURES. All Rights Reserved.

16 | BACK IN THE USA You just can’t seem to keep the man away from making movies across the Atlantic. Well, after journeying across India in Swades, its all about America in My Name Is Khan. Thankfully not all Airports in America love him as much as New York’s JFK

Going ga ga | 24 She’s probably the only singer alive who can whip up a controversy even before her voice comes into play

“Why, when I was with my boyfriend, was I fantasizing about women? Um, uh... well I... my goodness! I have certainly had sexual relationships with women, yes. I do like women. I’ve only been in love with men - I’ve never been in love with a woman” Lady Gaga - Who won 2 Grammy Awards in 2010

brand partners

‘The Score Magazine’ is wholly owned and published by

s co re m e d i a pv t l t d Registered Office: 38/23, Venkatesa Agraharam, Mylapore, Chennai 600 004 For Advertisements and Feedback

pragash@highonscore.com +91 9786182080

P

the edit PAD rofundity has been greeted by mockery for as long as I can remember.

Maybe it’s just me. If I were to write a note here about how all we’re saying is give peace a chance or how we need to soothe and heal the world, it would be greeted by the choicest words from the sailor’s vocabulary. Funny how Michael Jackson and John Lennon got away with it (and played Pied Piper, dragging the rest of the world with them!)

I’m guessing it had something to do with the haunting tunes they set their words to.

Ever since we started out, we’ve been trying to make our content as universal as possible. With this issue, we went one step ahead and actually did it. Our leading man, the quintessential Chennaiite, wants Niladri to play the sitar as Sting plays the bass and Beyonce and Rihanna sing Sivaji’s Adhiradee. How we would love that band, Karthik!

We, admittedly, have an unconventional profundity running through our pages. While there will be many wrap-ups detailing the sensationalism that was 2009, we bet our 13 ½ moments will steal the Coromandel thunder. It’s not often that you’ll find David Hasselhoff, Pink Floyd and breaking down barriers mentioned together. But, profound it is.

Or, Elvis Presley and Hugh Hefner. We’ll settle for unconventional there.

From car-on-stage-refusing-to-start concert exits to paint ball, sibling rivalry and Glambert, we’re serving fresh Avial (with a shot of all things international) to give a head start to what looks to be an exciting year. Switching to profound reflections, this issue stands for what music truly does – going beyond borders and blurring lines between languages. Rock stars and Mallu musicians can coexist and entertain.

Let’s liven up and appreciate all things regional, national and international. We, for one, surely want to open our doors to finding musical Neverland where Elvis Presley judges American Idol and John Mayer dubs for Rajinikanth. Sure, why not? A year that began with the self-introduction of “Hello, I’m Paul McCartney, or as I’m now known, ‘that guy from Rock Band’” surely promises to be one of endless possibilities!

No, we’re only high on Score. Just Score.

Here’s to a great new year and finding Neverland!

Nikila Srinivasan has been a columnist and contributor for several reputed national publications and has authored three books. She has had the honour of being one of India’s Olympic torchbearers at the Athens 2004 Olympic Torch Relay

Nikila Srinivasan The Score Magazine is proud to s Foundation and urge our readers a fraction of what we have been Do visit them virtually at www.motherteresafoundation.org

t e a m

upport the Mother Teresa to join us in giving back given .in

s c o r e

Editor-in-Chief Nikila Srinivasan Executive Editor Daniel Thimmayya Operations and Marketing Pragash VM Creatives Director Alan Hadle Hamilton Strategy and Planning Ajay Prabhakar Production Fayaz Mohammed Design K Ram Ganesh Marketing Layeequllah Baig, Faiza Moumin, Gayatri Nair Distribution Arvind Thinagarajan Content Advisor Solomon Porres Photography G Venkata Krishnan, Ravi Kiran Vissa, S Srirama Santhosh Illustrations and Creatives Francis Xavier DISCLAIMER: Reproduction in whole or part of any text, photography or illustrations without written permission from the publisher is prohibited. The publisher assumes no responsibility for unsolicited manuscripts, photographs and illustrations. Views expressed in this publication are not necessarily those of the publication and accordingly no liability is assumed by the publisher thereof. Advertising copy and artworks are the sole responsibility of the advertisers.

FEB-MAR 2010

i nside

croon with me | 10 When we say we got up close and personal with Karthik, take our word for it! We did everything from sing, pose, drive and splatter paint

more on mac | 27 If we had a penny for every time some tabloid claimed that Paul McCarteney had hung up his curved boots, we’d be rolling in pennies!

family affairs | 28 Do you have a brother/sister/uncle/ cousin/family friend in the music industry? YOU could be the next pop sensation . Read on to find out how

kerala curry | 30 Old vocalist, new vocalist or NO vocalist, Avial still packs one hell of a punch on stage. Find out what’ll happen if they try singing in English

32

Suzie Q-ueried

exclusive

T HE BAND WITHOUT A NAME Well the masses might still believe that playing Tamil music takes a minimum of 20 odd uniformed musicians, till Karthik shipped across five musicians from Kerala and recreated his best hits with a nice rock-ish feel and lots of lots of improvisations. Suddenly, the college audiences wanted more; Karthik and Band had begun a trend!

Two years on and they still have a problem. They’re clueless about what to call themselves. Over in Kerala, they’re known as Bennet and the band, so what do we call them everywhere else? The debate continues..

In that confusion ridden gap, I asked Karthik to pick a line-up of people he’d fantasize of playing with. When he finished, I had this to say. The man has taste. Weird…but taste, for sure!

I’d like to have Sting on the Bass And of course, on acoustic guitar John Mayer Then bring in Chick Corea to handle Keys Matt Flynn of Maroon Five working the Rhythm Add to this group, Beyonce and Rihanna on the Backing Chorus Line How about some Sitar work by Niladri?

And when he’s free we can have Ustad Amjad Ali Khan over for guest performances ....

And what song I was almost scared to ask: Adhiradee (Sivaji) I’m sure the drummer can pick it up quickly, Sting can do a regular bass line and sing the lead along with Mayer and me (All for Me style) Niladri can do some freaking out on the raag (Vakulabaranam) and the Chicks can go Adhiradee Kaaran machaaan. I’d actually be more than happy to listen.

Pic and Cover: G Venkata Krishnan

10

daniel thimmayya | danny@highonscore.com

If you ever thought that a voice that launched a thousand ships was all that a playback singer had, guess again.. or better still, read what happened between..

Karthik & i I

consider myself a strong man. But when Karthik says “5 minutes,da”, I must confess, I used to tremble. If there is one individual who has surpassed the high levels of Indian Standard Time, it is this man. Which is probably why, I’ll admit that there was this ever-so-small touch of glee, when I arrived after him; not once, but TWICE, in a row!

Just as he was telling me about his college days (DG Vaishnav, for those ignorant ones) his eyes wandered over my shoulder and lit up. “What is THAT?” he asked with boyish enthusiasm. Turned out, we had landed at the Paintball Place. “Call everyone…Let’s Play” he said. Play we did; with pads and pellets we battled across the field trying to land paint on the other. He was on one team, while I the other.

And that, briefly, is the story of this cover interview.

With my supreme agility and aim, needless to say, I emerged the most colorful person. No thanks to a widely grinning Karthik.

A tale woven with misadventures, macho posing (him), sad singing (me), blue paint (on him) and a barrel of laughs; in short, Karthik and I.

Dusk had set in by then and I grudgingly consented to complete the rest of the interview along with the photo shoot, “soon” It wasn’t too difficult. You see. I’d had my revenge. After having been repeatedly plastered by paint, I landed a parting splat right on Karthik.

It was the day after Christmas, so the bike ride to Temple Bay wasn’t all that bad. Finding Karthik’s Garden Suite without many a security guard’s stern glance, was another story. I arrived in time to see the photo shoot well underway. “Hi…” he said brightly “..we’ll wind up and talk in..” You guessed it “5 minutes” Ignoring that familiar feeling in the pit of my stomach, I gave him the benefit of the doubt.

It took him a while to wipe the blue paint out of his smile. That it did!

The wait to catch the hyper-busy crooner lasted nearly 2 weeks, during which 2010 was well underway. The second session though was at his house, a spacious yet traditional dwelling where Karthik lives with his parents, wife Ambika, daughter Kadambari and two XXXL Golden Retrievers.

My bad.

On returning, Karthik, who’d been closeted with his guitarist from the west coast, composing ditties, had the bright idea of doing the interview over lunch. (Yay, I thought) Until came, “Do you guys know any good places for lunch?” (Sigh! Back to the road then) Kipling Café on the East Coast Road, came highly recommended, so there we headed, next.

The shoot went well, though I did not understand what about my face made him break into hysterical laughter, when photographed.( I then became the photographer’s laugh prop, to my consternation - and their amusement)

By the time I got there, the party that had sped ahead (Curse his White Honda Civic) had decided against it, for reasons that the owners would not like to read here. So we passed up the colonial cuisine and settled for biriyani at Malgudi. The hunger dealt with, I steeled myself for what I had come to get, a cover story.

FINALLY, when I shooed everyone out of his studio, got some coffee and planted myself on a bean bag opposite him, I found that I had no desire to ask him about his life, his career, his music or anything else he’d answered over a thousand times.

Thankfully, nor was he.

“Where do we go?” was the common doubt. Thus we (the entourage comprising Karthik and Co., Photographer and Co. and Self) went coffee place hunting. If one place was quiet it was filled with hookah smoke, and if another place was devoid of smoke it merely had Chennai’s answer to Hannah Montana, right there.

Instead, the entire time had been an EXPERIENCE; carefree, laidback and very impulsive.

Much like Karthik.

A remarkable singer, a tremendous performer, a warm family man and as I came to realize, a wonderful human being.

We zeroed in on Bella Ciao and Karthik sportingly followed (the consensus being that no one went there) Perhaps it was my luck or his, because there was not a soul there; not even the chap who ran the place.

I have no clue what he’s like with other journalists. But this is how and what I know him to be.

And that is our story.

It takes more than that to defeat a determined journalist (It came close, really) and so Karthik and I decided to stroll along the beach, and chat.

Karthik and I.

11

KUTCHERY CULLINGS Concerts are his calling. But that doesn’t mean that there are NO times when even Karthik is left cribbing. I asked him for the pick of his experiences. I must admit, much like most other things about the man, they left me in splits; laughter not aerobics n IIT’s Saarang was one hell of a show. We set up for twenty minutes after Lucky Ali left and we were a little nervous about whether the crowd would be annoyed. But they actually kept themselves amused; gave me countdowns and what not! n I had the weirdest time at this corporate gig. It was at this hotel and the banquet hall was packed with people when I checked. The organizers then said that this popular actress would be popping in for promotion’ sake and I waited. She arrived and left in under 3 minutes. When I entered the hall again, there were 5 people left! Can you believe that? 5! n My most embarrassing show, wasn’t even a show.

It was a Thiruvizha Kutchery at a village called Alangudi. There were posters, MGR style and 15,000-20,000 people and they loved it! Problem was, they wanted to meet me and my driver smartly brought the car to the stage, so I could exit. I secretly felt great, and then my driver said “Sir, car’s not starting” So I got out and my car was pushed. It was embarrassing but endearing.

CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF A CULINARY KIND ell, I’d spent most of my time with Karthik W in various restaurants and coffee places around town. Good part was he was as much a food enthusiast as I was. So for once it wasn’t just me complaining about the why it takes people THAT much time to bring your food after you order. I admit though that you’d scarce find a person being nicer to waiters than Karthik, celebrity or otherwise! ating out as much as he does, makes for E some great stories and Karthik did oblige.

This is what he served up: n There was this one time I was eating at Ashoka. I was just beginning to enjoy my food when this one LARGE family ID’d me. About ten minutes later I look in their direction and one of them was recording me eating. I mean…WHY? n When I’m in London I usually end up eating at the Taj. Why? Simple. They make the best Sambar Saadham that side of the planet. n I eat at Sparky’s Diner so much that about a year back I actually thought of working here as a waiter!

Why? Just like that, I guess! (That’s when I told him that waiters get free food) Really? Wow! I didn’t know that.

12

Pix : G Venkata Krishnan

confessions of a POPAHOLIC

LET THE HAND DO THE TALKING

THAT COST ME A SONG

It might sound weird but I worked on my signature way before singing took off. During this really boring session of macro-economics at my CA class I just realized that this wasn’t for me. What’d I do about it?

I worked on my signature! I guess it paid off. Nobody curses me after an autograph anyway!

Accusations that I’ve stolen songs? There are times when I’ve declined songs because it’s somebody else’s. That’s why, composers don’t tell me! Hey, I was a fresher once and it’s happened to me. It was fun for me though people won’t agree. If it’s meant for you, it WILL be yours.

I BELIEVE I CAN…NOT FLY

WHAT PITCH DID YOU SAY?

I have this fascination for planes and airports. Every time I see a 747, I keep wondering how on earth man managed to build something like THAT. You know the best part? I’m scared of flying…not IN a flight but actually flying a plane!

THEY CALL ME WORDS-WORST Ok, I admit I forget lyrics a lot of the time.

Hey, it’s not easy remembering songs for 3 hours! What do I do? Well, I turn into this cool impromptu lyricist on stage. Trust me, it makes sense, but the problem is my family’s usually there in the first row and they know I’m BULLSHITTING.

KARTHIK, CINEMA CINEMA I HATED it when people introduced me as Baba Karthik. These titles are just crazy. What would I rather have? I don’t know… How does Shakti Kodu Karthik sound!!

Cricket is an obsession for me. I play for a team called Seven in the Blue Star League.

I’m a pretty good batsman! Two months back, we had to make 114 to win and I got 65* and we won. I went ON and ON about it for three days and strangely felt more elated than ever. Even awards last only about two hours! Weird, isn’t it?

T

he thing about Karthik is, he’s not afraid to own up to most of the out-of-the-way curve-ball questions I threw his way. For the record he’s a little too nice to have been up to anything that might make you or your conservative grandmother blush.

And if you’re wondering why pop-aholic, first because he’s into playing with his band and pop and fusion are the order of the day; second because he’s still getting the hang of being a dad (You ought to see the man fussing over his daughter, Dear God!) Without further ado, the 10 priceless confessions of the happy-go-lucky singer; uncut, uncensored (not unedited, I take my work seriously!), straight and in technicolour!

SEEN BEETHOVEN LATELY? I’d love to learn to play the violin, someday. I once tried playing the piano on stage in Cochin and i was NERVOUS. Something very classy I sometimes dream of playing in a Philharmonic Orchestra. (Oh man!)

13

PUNCTUALLY, YOURS Being Late? Even if I’m early someone else is late so I’m being the nice guy and taking the fall for someone else! That’s a good one, isn’t it? See, delays kill my energy and there goes the song. So when I’m late everything’s good to go and we can start right away!

RUMOUR ME THIS… RUMOUR ME THAT Rumours seem to love me. Thankfully they stopped when i got married at least! I think they hooked me up with every single female singer, there existed. It was weird!

SHOW ME THE MONEY There are times when I’ve done shows almost entirely for the money. Why? Because it’s what I make a living out of! Honestly though, with music you believe that each show will be a new experience Even when it’s your daily bread

Pix : Ravi Kiran Vissa

IS sky the limit?

Pic Courtesy : Sony Musicl

Will it cross the multiplex?

Clean and Definitely NOT Mean would describe Simbhu’s brand new look. Just when we thought blatant formula heroism was his mantra, he went and got signed up

by Gautham Menon. Question is, will it work beyond the city

After everyone on the cast and crew of Vinnaithaandi Varuvaaya had been interviewed, questioned, photographed and pretty much done to death, finding an interesting angle for a story seemed pretty nigh pointless. Right till about the time when a prominent name on one of the numerous posters caught my attention. Lyrics : Thamarai it read from left to right.

For a lyricist who has penned as many hit lines as she has, it is surprising that she hadn’t been badgered by the press for an interview in a little over 2 years. For someone who hadn’t been interviewed in that long, yet worked with the cream of the Tamil music industry, she was surprisingly forthcoming. She’s probably the first person in ages to pick up every time I called and even texted back!

If her sharp wit and inbred comic sense made for pleasant conversation, the need to match her unblemished Tamil (without traces of my Chennai meets California accent seeping through) proved to be quite an effort! I made it through without too many slip-ups (except when I got the number of songs in VTV wrong and was promptly told i need to learn to count by the homemaker)

THAMARAI’S TAKE ON VTV:

- Gautham asks me to pen whatever comes to mind when he’s abroad, but I insist and we have lengthy discussions over the phone itself !

- When Rahman composed Oh Mana Penne he loved it so much he wanted to sing it himself - Gautham is great with deciphering music but it still took us half a day (it normally takes 15 minutes) to decipher the raw tune he (ARR) gave us. It’s easy the way YOU hear it, after mixing!

- I wrote Mannipaya in the studio as Rahman composed it, side-by-side - All three rap sequences in Hosanna were originally in Tamil, but Rahman insisted on using Blaaze for one - VTV’s songs are like slow poison-just like Rahman’s work in general. It takes time for the genius to emerge - When Aaromale was composed I complained that such an amazing tune was forfeited to Malayalam. I penned Tamil lyrics for it by popular demand, and if all goes well you might just hear the Tamil version in the movie, depending on which show you get tickets for!

SNIPPETS FROM A TELEPHONE CONVERSATION WITH THAMARAI:

- It takes at least 2-3 hours of discussion with the Director before I start - When I write, I do EVERY song in the movie. This avoids redundancy - I dislike LOUD lyrics. I may write them if the situation calls for it. Someday - I have 2 rules for anyone approaching me – NO English words in my songs and NO Double Entendres - I think the most local lyrics I’ve stooped to are in Anjalai (Vaaranam Ayiram) Even that has some class, mind you!

- Harris Jayaraj keeps adding and removing parts, even some that everyone liked – I say they know their job best, just as I know mine!

- The Oh Maha Zeeya part in Uyirin Uyire (Kaakha Kaakha) was added later and became a huge hit

14

gAYATRI kALYANARAMAN | gayatri@highonscore.com

W

hat happens when the stars of Saroja and Chennai-600028 get together? Goa happens. What happens when you schedule an interview with the director before the release of the movie? He pulls a classic Houdini. I had scheduled an interview with Mr Venkat Prabhu not once but thrice! And each time I ended up pacifying a miffed photographer who waited around, lights, camera and all; sadly there was no action!

Since my world has been shattered with regard to the interview not going through, I am going to go ahead and ask him the questions anyway. So Mr Venkat Prabhu, Let’s begin! My first question to you, Sir would have been – Why was Mokkai Mohan missing in this movie? Being the ace actor and dancer that he is, his absence in the movie is very conspicuous. Not really missed, just evident. Will we ever know?

Moving on, there were a few surprises in the movie and a few cameos. But the biggest surprise of Goa was that a female lead actually got a meaty role. So Mr Venkat Prabhu, did you cast Sneha based on her sheer acting skills or instinctive comic timing or better still - both? Actually, Mr. Prabhu , its safer for everybody’s ego if that remains rhetorical.

So why Goa? Why not some place more familiar with the Tamil audience? My first thought was that the boys of Chennai-600028 and Saroja felt that standard of women here was not adequate for their charm levels. After all, these guys are the hottest and most charismatic heroes that Kollywood has seen in a long time (Suriya and Kamal Haassan included!) It is understandably hard to pick out female leads for them and hence the beaches and semiclad women in Goa do some justification for the same. I am curious as to what the director has to say about my outlook. It just breaks my heart that I will never find out.

Perhaps I am destined to walk the long aisles of the cinema halls with this question haunting me forever.

If any of you haven’t watched the movie The HeartBreak Kid which stars Ben Stiller, don’t worry, you will see a very similar scene in this movie. What a coincidence!

Talking of similarities, we hope that one of the lead actors will stop saying Sir at the end of every sentence, at least in this movie. Please Sir, we have had enough Sir. There is even a flash of Sam Anderson’s jokes here and there.

As a trademark of every Venkat Prabhu movie, Yuvan’s music scores again. As usual, the actors emote perfectly in all the songs and make it look completely natural.

Doesn’t seem like they are acting at all! I also wanted to ask Mr. Prabhu about the new and fresher looks given to the lead actors. Why is it that when they are in Goa they decide to dress well and groom themselves but back in Chennai they decide to sport the casual boy-next-village look. I join the rest of the women in the city in mourning our loss!

I could go on and on but the bottom-line is that I have only questions and the answers to these questions can be answered only by the man himself. If he decides to grace me with his presence sometime in the near future I hope to have all my queries cleared. If not, speculation is all I have and speculate I will!

Catching Venkat Prabhu for an interview before Goa released seemed just about impossible, so our cinema correspondent went ahead and put down just the Q part of a Q&A article! The rate at which the cash registers are tingling, we reckon he wouldn’t mind anyway!

DISS-CLAIMER : Every single one of us have laughed our guts out at Venkat Prabhu’s movies; we love this king of celluloid trippers, and decided the best way to pay him a tribute would be to take a dig at him! We hope GOA continues doing phenomenally well and leaves everyone with a smile on their faces, much like this little article!

Ve n kat Pra b h u

where are you?

15

Illustration : Francis

they call him

khan

When Karan Johar and SRK get together, we don’t know about the coffee part, but they somehow end up making a movie in The US of A. What’s different this time? They’ve made a SERIOUS movie.

Seriously!

16

Prachi Sibal | prachi@highonscore.com

a

fter a long lasting relationship with the partition, Bollywood’s next stint with terrorism seems to look beyond more than a few art films playing to empty theatres.

What a modest Mumbai Meri Jaan or an arty Firaaq couldn’t do, Kurbaan and My Name is Khan are out to achieve. Another production from the Yash Raj factory, My Name is Khan claims to be based on a true story. Storyline apart, we know this film is different from the rest, and we know even before the actual publicity drive begins that this has a clear edge over others themed similarly. This Karan Johar directorial had what most others didn’t, star-power (what more than The Khan playing the Khan in the film?).

The message is clear and loud, detention after 9/11, the drama heightened as it always is.

Films on the theme, sensitive or otherwise have indeed managed to get the point across, an Indian abroad (especially in USA) encounters suspicion, and a Muslim in the country, after a terrorist attack hides for cover; for his name, if not for himself altogether. First came the clean and subtle Mr and Mrs Iyer that traced two simple lives on a bus journey after the riots. Nandita Das’ Firaaq recounted the identity crisis of a Muslim man (Sanjay Suri) using his Hindu wife’s surname during the Gujarat riots.

The films that came later highlighted a much stronger situation faced by Indians abroad in the aftermath of 9/11- public detention. New York, the Neil Nitin Mukesh, John Abraham starrer almost duped people into believing that they were watching a movie with a message; though college song sequences and ample skin show ruled. The drama remained high and somewhere the message seemed to have delivered itself only in the last few lines of a scroll.

The question here though is not how effectively the films have managed to deliver the message they were out to give, it is more about what makes My Name is Khan different. Karan Johar’s first attempt at social relevance in a film is certainly what one should look out for, considering all his previous films were based on subjects one would critically rather call ‘frivolous.’ The film will hopefully give the audience some substance to take in, beyond the costumes and make-up, not to forget exotic locales.

Kajol’s comeback after marital bliss and cinema confined to the family is certainly the next thing we look forward to. Besides the Devgan banner, Kajol was last seen only in a guest appearance in Om Shanti Om. Her role as the Hindu wife of mildly autistic Rizwan Khan (Shahrukh Khan) might go down well with the acquired mature look, if all else fails.

The film incidentally had its share of controversy and coverage right during the shoot when SRK was detained by the Customs officers on his trip to the USA. In his attempts to seek mass attention and sympathy, SRK never managed to slip-up on saying he was detained while on his way for the shoot of My Name is Khan.

Another important thing that could perhaps ensure this film is watched by a larger audience, over the casual SRK fans is Karan Johar’s distribution deal with Fox Searchlight Pictures both nationally and internationally.

Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy’s music fits into the regular Yash Raj package and is already doing the rounds to induce recall value.

The official website exhibits Karan Johar’s claims that this film is not about terrorism but humanity instead; besides being a mass entertainer at the same time.

Entertaining or socially sensitive, the movie has without doubt been the most awaited one in the wake of this New Year.

If star power is the way to deliver a message in our country, then this one makes the cut, and looks to achieve what it’s understated counterparts could not. In the meanwhile lets count on DDLJ déjà vu ushering in box office ratings.

17

Pic Courtesy : Sony Music

M

idnight of 12th August 1961 saw the initial construction of a concrete wall in East Berlin that would measure a 100 odd miles long, dividing East Germany from West Germany. It eventually formed the greater part of the Iron Curtain. This was not just a border between ideologies (Communism vs. Democracy); it was a division of people, culture and a barricade to travel, occupation & learning. The fate of the people of Germany for over the next few decades depended on which side of the wall they slept on that night.

On 9th November 1989, the world witnessed the fall of this mighty Wall called Berliner Mauer, marking the end of the Cold War. Emotions soared while East Berliners greeted West Berliners and life began anew.

The fall of the Berlin Wall created a huge impact on the music scene at the time. The youth of East Germany was infused with a sudden surge of music from the West.

This euphoric moment in History was commemorated by some of the biggest bands of the music industry. To talk of all of them would be next to impossible so I’ve picked just a few.

The greatest anthem for The Fall of the Berlin wall and arguably one of the most profound power ballads in rock music till date - Winds Of Change by Scorpions – is a celebration of the events in the political scenario in Eastern Europe at the time. The video which reflects the background against which the track was set, shows scenes from a central public square called Potsdamer Platz at Berlin in 1953, 1961 and then 1989. These dates are a significance of the Uprising of 1953 in East Germany involving a strike by construction workers, The erecting of the Berlin Wall in 1961 and of the eventual break down of the wall in 1989.

Written in 1990, it shot to popularity in Germany and eventually, globally in 1991. It is believed to be the highest selling song till date in Germany and was more recently voted song of the century by viewers of a German TV Channel.

Accolades aside, it stands apart as one of the songs that reverberates the fervour of the times and truly celebrates freedom, brotherhood and the future of peace.

The world is closing in Did you ever think That we could be so close, like brothers The future’s in the air Can feel it everywhere Blowing with the wind of change A concert was held in Berlin on 21st July 1990 in the heart of the erstwhile no man’s land part of the Berlin Wall; between Potsdamer Platz and the monumental Brandenburg Gate. Roger Waters from Pink Floyd performed The Wall album LIVE featuring various artists like Joe Cocker, Joni Mitchell and The Scorpions. This was again a tribute to the fall of the Wall. Ironically in July 1989 Waters had said the only way he’d redo a Live performance of The Wall was “if the Berlin Wall came down”. Eight months after the historic event, Rogers kept his word.

The concert was aired across 52 countries and drew in a crowd of more than 300,000 people.

At the peak of the 2-hour concert, Waters came on stage dressed in a full military uniform and soldiers stormed the stage bearing crossed hammer insignia. In the course of the concert, a wall was built and covered half the stage. At the end of the show, this wall was broken down and revealed all the musicians.

Berlin and the world at large clung to every last note in what can only be described as one of the most enthralling Pink Floyd performances till date.

Hence like many historic moments that have found voice through music, The Berlin Wall had its say.

And thanks to some gifted musicians, we have songs that remind us of the borders that once existed in a world where freedom wasn’t taken for granted.

tear down

this wall

18

Ketaki Chandrasekar | ketaki@highonscore.com

hasselhoff’s got talent too!

A surprise entrant is David Hasselhoff of Baywatch & Knight Rider fame.

He performed Looking for Freedom on New Years’ eve of 1989 at Brandenburg Gate to huge audiences. This was often dubbed as officially the symbolic track for the fall of The Wall. The track rose to #1 in Germany’s charts that year.

Other famous performances at the Wall

U2

Achtung Baby was recorded in 1990 and One was written to recognize the fall of the Wall and reunification

Gate To Perdition Brandenburg has inspired some solid performances and earned its place in musical history

19

Sex Pistols

Holiday in the Sun was a track inspired by Berlin, the Wall and “the insanity of the place” as they called it

Rush

Heresy is about the revolution, the Wall and finally asks, “Who will pay?” as a way of ending the song

Elton John

Nikita was a song about two lovers across the checkpoint in East Berlin (of whom Nikita is a Soviet guard)

p l ay t h at f unky

music

So they lost American Idol and didn’t get to ogle Ryan Seacrest anymore. Big Deal. What sets these two ‘made-over’ Idol Finalists apart? Let’s find out

A

dam was quoted to be one of the biggest stars of the American Idol series, a feat not easily achievable. A man who brought the spirit of Queen, Bowie and Aerosmith alive with his punkedout theatrical and crazily seductive renditions. Love him or hate him, you have to owe it to the guy – he had a swagger that was irresistible. Rewind to 2007. Remember the teen pop sensation David Archuleta? The Disney boy with whom the world fell in love with for his bubbly charisma and innocent charm. His soulful and heart rendering delivery of ‘Imagine’ was probably the most talked about cover in the entire series, thus making it more popular than Lennon’s original... at least on YouTube.

I have mentioned two people so different, so uniquely opposite yet both had one thing in common – they were incredibly gifted but both of them weren’t Idols. The last eight years have shown a growing trend towards artists who suit the bill – clean cut, gifted and popular (more like America’s sweethearts). But what happened to artists who really proved themselves – Jennifer Hudson, Clay Aiken and Chris Daughtry? Was American Idol really the best judge?

American Idol is considered to be a platform for many musicians to realize their dreams. A place of new beginnings based purely on talent, of course. So why was Lambert put out to “favour” public interests because people had problems with unconfirmed reports of his homosexuality? As far as Archuleta is concerned, I honestly can’t find a reason as to why he wasn’t an Idol despite his enormous fan following. Maybe American Idol’s true talent is the guy who finishes second last.

“The best thing you can do to set yourself apart is just be yourself. If you’re fake, you know people find out who you are later, it’s like “Well that’s not who we thought you were.” Being yourself is where you feel most comfortable and people get, you know, they feel that connection the best. That’s the best way to go. You always have to be yourself.”

DAVID ARCHULETA

20

Shirin Albert | shirin@highonscore.com

whiteboy Most Controversial Moment AL American Music awards 2009 - the one mo-

ment that made everybody go yowza! Kissing guys and inappropriate touching; the sexual tension was through the roof. But he says ‘I have no regrets!’

DA Controversy doesn’t suit this guy. He‘s a Mormon. Is that controversial?

Stage Avatar AL Leather pants, puffed shoulders, capes,

leather jackets and hoards of eyeliner. Oh and his natural hair color is strawberry blonde. How cute! But it is now jet black. (I guess he dyes his eyebrows too!).

And he wears make up – tons of it. That’s a statement!

DA The cute boy next door whose cheeks you definitely want to pinch because you find him adorable! Shy, introverted and very conservative. I mean he doesn’t ‘get’ really short skirts on girls.

Dating AL Is single and apparently ready to mingle.

FYI - He had a crush on his American Idol roommate - Kris Allen.

DA Has not kissed a girl yet and hasn’t dated in a quite a while. Is waiting for the right one to come along. He is 19 years old.

Biggest Battle AL Is currently worried that coming out of the

closet would be over-sensationalized to a point where it would overshadow his reputation of being a singer and an entertainer. We wish him all the best.

DA Suffered from partial voice paralysis but

overcame it and is currently writing a book ‘Chords of Strength’ which deals with his recovery.

“Why can’t men have strong feminine sides? Does that make them less of a man? I don’t know why our society has such an emphasis on masculinity and femininity - it’s really gross. I don’t think you’re truly sexy until you don’t care about that.”

Answer: Why? Because it would be confusing, so very confusing…”

ADAM LAMBERT

21

Preeti KRISHNAKUMAR | preeti@highonscore.com

Ain’t no Easter Bunny, Elvis!

DOWN BIRTHDAY LANE 1945 Elvis paid for part of his 10th birthday present from money he had earned doing odd jobs. One story says his parents asked him to choose between a guitar and a bicycle, and you should know what he picked

Of all the things we could question about his life, there was one thing I’ve always wondered, never asked anyone, but whilst doing the necessary ‘research’ (for this article) came across. I’ve often wondered how two men, who lived around the same time, shared a love for women that is nothing short of extraordinary, are never spoken of as friends, or acquaintances. The two men in question are Hugh Hefner and Elvis Presley, and what I found out, was this. In the Playboy Mansion (Yes, That 6 acre building atop Beverley hills) is a room, a secret room, called The Elvis Suite, that Elvis used in the early 70’s (With no less that 8 playmates). And Hugh Hefner, being an ardent fan of Elvis, named it after him, as a sort of tribute to the late King. This suite is not used and kept off limits to everyone.

Elvis remains the only King to have that AND his own news network, ENN (Elvis News Network) (Google it if you don’t believe me!)

1953 His parents, for a whopping $50 bought Elvis his first car, The 1952 Lincoln Zephyr coupe which they gave him on his 18th birthday.

1954 Elvis, his mother Gladys and his father Vernon celebrated his birthday singing inspirational songs at their home.

1955 Elvis performed at the Louisiana Hayride concerts - his first claim to fame.

1956 Elvis’s 21st birthday was spent on the road going to and from Louisiana Hayride appearances.

1957 On his way to Hollywood, he shared a birthday cake with Scotty Moore, Bill black and DJ Fontana.

1959 Dick Clark’s American Bandstand dedicated one of its programs to Elvis for his 24th birthday; his first after losing his mother.

1964 Elvis did not want to celebrate his 29th birthday, upset about his film career and the reviews he was getting.

1965 Elvis celebrated his 30th birthday quietly at home.

1967 Marty Lacker, Charlie Hodge and the other members of the Memphis Mafia gave elvis his Tree of life medallion which he wore often after.

1968 His first birthday as Priscilla’s husband, while expecting Lisa.

1971 One day after his 36th birthday, Elvis was voted one amongst the Ten Outstanding Young Men of America.

The tribute was the only award Elvis accepted in person.

1973 The whole month of his birthday was definitely not one of his best.

Priscilla and Elvis legally separated.

e l v i s i n wo n d e r land

LIVE AT 75!

The King (Rock ‘n’ Roll, this time) is probably having a monster party in Heaven. We couldn’t make it, but that doesn’t stop us from drooling, does it now?

t

he United States has given the world three things, that until death, we will all be grateful for, Mickey Mouse, Coca Cola and Elvis Presley.

A Legend, unlike any other, royalty became him (What with his daughter marrying the King of Pop). But what not many know is that when Sam Philips ‘found’ Elvis, he found a White singer, with a Black Sound.

On the 8th of January, 2010, He would have celebrated his 75th birthday. And what a party that would’ve been! But we’re not going to plan the party that could’ve been; we’re here to reminisce.

Assume this King, the creator of anything rock n’ roll, lives up in the heavens at the, I’m going to call it, Presley Manor. With his late friends, his late family, his music, and his (insane/eternal) fame, what more could he really want? Looking down on his only daughter, ex-wife, grand kids, would he look down longingly? Or laugh at our misfortune?

Would he be thankful for the millions (No, BILLIONS) of people who miss him, everyday?

Would he have rather chilled here (global warming aside) with us and Judged American Idol, maybe?

But from what we know, and have seen/heard, of him he’s probably shakin’ it up for the rest of them.

He was the original cool. Everyone wanted to be him; tried rather!

When a singer is remembered for more than his songs, his marriage (Priscilla), his relationships (Anita Wood, Linda Thompson & Ginger Alden), his Rhinestone studded costumes and endless substance abuse, when everything he says, is recorded for all of time, when Gyrating his hips transformed from obscenity to a trademark, and his “funny loose movements” became world famous; That’s when the world realized exactly what it had gained, in a twenty something nobody.

22

His gravesite may receive 600,000 visits a year. His grandmother, and his father may have outlived him but Elvis is alive…

75 years old and stronger than ever.

And we’re wishing him a Happy Birthday.

Elvis From Memphis Guitar, Gin and Girls, Girls, Girls!

Pic Courtesy : Universal Music

23

1

Pop goes the Michael

2

Oscar Man

7

Hip-Hop’s hustle!

13

1/2

A Little Birdie Told Me

We know its bad to say that about one of the greatest legends yada yada, but heck!! Whacko Jacko is dead plus we like the pun.

A lot has been said about him (more than when he was alive). We only want to say that he was a prodigious talent, an awesome singer, a God-like dancer, a mind blowing stage performer, a brilliant lyricist, the torch bearer of a new generation, The uncreated, self existent, one and only who was and is and will be for a very very long time. Amen!!

The Kaiser of Kodambakkam, the Mozart of Madras, the Caeser of Chennai, the Talai of Tamilnadu. A truly tremendously terrific talent who did us all proud at the Oscars. Before I start waxing further into more such corny aliiteratives, Maharaj AR Rahman Ki sada Jai Ho! Jai Ho!

Jay-Z. He qualified because there just needs to be at least one Hip-Hop artist in our list.

Jay Z, because well, uh, his wife is BEYONCE, plus he’s the richest hip hop artist around. So it goes to prove that he does not go about wasting his cash on pimpin’ his ride or ridin’ the ladies. He also writes political stuff in his lyrics like”Black vs. white my nigga, we off that.”

Twitter, purely because of public demand. Simply because it proves that narcissists like to know what other narcissists are doing and then do something to prove that they love themselves more and this vicious megalomania-cal circle continues. It spares no one least of all musicians. Examples: kanye West tweeted, i repeat “Tweeted”, “I DON’T HAVE A F**KING TWITTER ... WHY WOULD I USE TWITTER??”

5

3

6

4

Lady Who

She appeared semi-nude, wearing only plastic bubbles, on the cover of the annual ‘Hot 100′ issue of Rolling Stone in May 2009. Her real name is Stefano Joanne Angelina Germanotta. She has sold more than 8 million records worldwide. She calls herself the new Goth Tinkerbell and somehow manages to forget to wear her pants. She likes performing with fireworks shooting out of her conical bra and the world’s going gaga over her. So are we.

America’s First Song

We know that she does not need a claim to fame but the Queen of Soul is clearly on our list because she sang for the swearing in ceremony of America’s first black President.

Its unfair to use Aretha Franklin so as to include Obama in the list but as Mr Kutty Nair would say. “He’s a todal globell phenoMenon” and we at Score can scarce ignore the emergence of Dark Power.

Beaten Black and BROWN

It looked like the perfect combination, Rihanna and Chris Brown were the America’s young, hot R&B star-crossed lovers. But an argument turned violent and Brown did the unpardonable. He physically assaulted Rihanna on the night before the Grammy Awards leaving her battered and humiliated. The mirage vanished and the illusion came apart.

24

Yoo-hooTube

Susan Boyle, proved to the entire world that you can be old, plain looking, have a cat named Pebbles, be a volunteer at the Our Lady of Lourdes church in Blackburn,Scotland and yet sing like a dream. Her audition at last year’s Britain’s Got Talent has over a 100 million views on YouTube. Her album, released in November apparently is Amazon’s best-selling album in pre-sales. Cheers SuBo!!

Prashant Ipe | prashant@highonscore.com

10

Jackass, Public Defender

Following on the heels of Brown is Kanye West. After speaking out against Chris Brown and calling Rihanna his baby sister, he acted like a bully and bum rushed Taylor Swift’s acceptance speech for Best Female Video at the MTV VMA’s.

PS : Obama called West a jackass in an off-the-record comment, we all agree.

13

12

Them 2, AGAIN

U2 purely because Rolling Stone has ranked their album ‘No line on the Horizon’ the best album of 2009 and the song ‘Moment of Surrender’ from the album the best song of 2009. A point worth noting is that their free concert in Berlin marking the 20th Anniversary of the fall of the Berlin Wall ran into controversy. Why? Because the organisers built a 2m wall around the venue to keep out people without tickets for the show. Irony eh??

American Eye-Doll

11

Adam Lambert! Need we say more. He’s young, he’s talented, he’s gay and he’s on a roll. His sexually charged performance at the American Music Awards and his unapologetic attitude towards the controversy it spawned, proves that the kid has the most important trapping of a superstar. Attitude!!

I, The Pod Almighty

The year of the Auto-Tune, a very smart audio software that corrects pitch and off-key inaccuracies. Though Jay-Z has predicted it’s demise, the Black Eyed Peas sold millions and millions of albums and proved that if used intelligently the software is really cool!! Read this Mr West! Also worth mentioning is the contribution of the technological advancements in the I phone and the I pod that have helped in the dissemination of music to the masses.

the year that

probably was 8

We Love The Beatles (in 3-d)

The entire collection of the Beatles albums were rereleased with a stereo sound upgrade. Rockband released a video game version of the Beatles and all of us went down Penny lane again.

Its the beginning of the second decade of the second millennium. To all those who still believe that the decade is still not over and will only when this year is completed, well go boil an egg or smell a sock or better go play happy birthday on your 10 key Casio. We at Score (with the help of our mighty minions Google and Wikipedia) are proud to rank the top 131/2 moments of the past year. Why 131/2 ? Because we’re superstitious.

Note: The moment might not just be an event but can also be a person, thing, or weird fact connected to the music of 2009. (We’ve also made sure that in spite of being ranked they are not in any particular order, our avant-garde attempt to be partial and objective at the same time)

6

Threesome Anyone?

This is a three way tie between The Jonas brothers, Miley Cyrus and Taylor Swift. Why? Because they are all young and yet super talented. Let the statistics speak for themselves.

Artist Taylor swift Miley Cyrus Jonas Bros.

25

sales estimated 3.21 million copies 3.16 million copies No Official count

worth age 18 million $ 20 25 million $ 17 millions 19.66

krithika sukumar | krithika@highonscore.com

shine on me sibling

STARLI T

D Major

We fear they may become the desi version of Destiny’s Child, minus Beyonce and Kelly

here’s sibling rivalry. And then there’s sibling more popular brother only on a select handful of occarevelry. An honest look at pop stars who duly sions, it took Janet a whole decade after the launch of owe a bit of their fame to their siblings. her first solo and self-titled album in 1982, to convince The music industry is no stranger to sibling critics that she was more than rebottled material from acts. Every now and then, a pop band arrives on the the Jackson 5, and another few years to convince them scene with an interesting twist – the band members are that she was not just another 90’s sex icon, it was time related and share both stage space and a surname. Why that was well worth it – she sold over a 100 million rethis little twist is interesting to the masses is probably cords worldwide and gained a reputation for being an best left to the sociology experts of the Freakonomics individualistic artist who changed the norms of pop kind, but the fact is plain and simple: when music. two or more band-mates are siblings it never The past decade has seen more siblings of goes without being noticed. And of course, popstars than would keep us from squirmrecord labels know that any attention is good ing uncomfortably in our seats: Jamie attention.

Lynn Spears with the strangely familiar A simple case to elaborate the aforementioned sassy appeal of a bubble-gum popping point – Aaron Carter (read: Part Two of the well-shaped schoolgirl, and the dewy-eyed sweet blonde cherubic image of Nick Carter, Ashlee Simpson took after the fame of BSB) landed his first record contract after her bodacious sister – Jessica Simpson. his maiden solo performance, that ended a Hanson It’s a wave that probably started with the Backstreet Boys (BSB) concert in Berlin. The When they said Carter brothers – which is which, anyway? year was 1997, the surest icebreaker with any Mmmbop! We said And interestingly – all these siblings only teenage girl was ‘So, who’s your favorite Back- Mmmumbo jumbo! decided to land with a bang on the music street boy?’ and bowled-over fans kissed airscene, well after their popstar siblings brushed posters of the band goodnight. were ‘already there.’ It’s a simple case of And what now sounds inanely hysterical then timing, really. sounded lovelorn and profound; the band was The Indian music circuit has always welriding their highest wave. More such coveted comed siblings sharing a common stage. circles of metrosexual men, who could be We pay due and well-deserved salute to sibjust as mortified by the breakout of a pimple ling duos who have been a hit in the Indian as their fans were, and in touch enough with scene, and sustained their place there by their feelings to move millions of teenage the strength of their talent – like the Bomwomen, were formed. For better, or for worse. bay sisters or Lata Mangeshkar and Asha To condemn all siblings stars who share the Boyz II Men Bhonsle – and more importantly, each of microphone would leave us no space to pay Remember their whiny them have proved that they can easily just tribute to the Knopfler brothers of Dire lyrics, hold their own. And so can other singer “I’ll make love to you, Straits, The Corrs, or even the Jackson 5. siblings like Kylie and Danii Minogue, On the other hand, we might have been like you want me to…” and Anoushka Shankar and Norah Jones, spared the tad-too-sweet lyrics of Boyz II who have all prioritised their solo careers, Men entirely, if we had protested against the Mor- instead of pitting their voices hoping for a greater kill. ris brothers in the band; but it’s about a decade But the past couple of years, and the rise of bands too late to erase the agony, and so we stick to the like D Major – comprising VJ Anusha, and her sisters point – let’s take a closer look at the Jackson 5 - Apeksha and Shibani, leave behind an uncomfortable the band that launched Michael Jackson on his feeling like this is only the beginning of the Shared Sibrocket-soaring career, with Janet Jackson followling Starlight phenomenon in the Indian circuit. ing farther behind. While she jammed with her God forbid!

Will the sibling bug bite our Desi pop-spirants to go ahead and make music using the same surname as a record-label puller or will there be a breed of talent-happy teens bopping for a break?

26

SISTER ACHED! The I-wanna-be-just-likemy-sister-dearest syndrome seems to be catching on, especially after the Simpson Family stepped up

LIGHT

27

Swati NAIR | swati@highonscore.com

Appetite For Desi-truction So who said people only liked beef fry and bad coconut oil jokes from Kerala?

i n g e n u i ty, t hy

name is Avial!

Pic Courtesy : Avial

28

Malayali Music took mainstage, and we loved it as much as we loved appams The idea of a Chinese collaboration?

Now if that isn’t literally food for thought, we wouldn’t know what is!

How is Avial made?

2 1/2 years - meticulous energy and hard work 1 handful - gifted musicians 1 serving - dream of bringing about a change in the Indian music scene once and for all.

Mix all this together with a pint of coconut oil and there you have it.

MALABAR CURRY! nA vial initially considered naming their band Thoren which is another Malayali stew. n In the band’s own words, the reason for the band name is: “We liked the symbolism of Avial, as a mixture of different influences.” n If needed to describe themselves in two words ‘Hot Stuff’. n One song they wish they could have composed is ‘Heal the World’ by Michael Jackson. n At the acclaimed Jack Daniels Annual Rock Awards (2008 – 2009) – Avial won six awards - Song of the year, Album of the year and Band of the year in both the Popular Choice and Critics’ award categories.

A

vial – the prodigious Indian rock band, from God’s very own Country, that has given talent a whole new meaning.

What sets them apart from the ordinary is that their songs are not mindless. They’re not the kind who are obsessed with setting their guitars on distortion forever and drumming on double bass throughout the song. Apart from the fact that their songs are about issues ranging from deforestation and hypocrisy in politics to the life of a farmer and his wife, they maintain their identity by singing in their native tongue – Malayalam. It isn’t everyday that you see indigenous bands singing about things that society chooses to stay ignorant about.

Tony, the current vocalist of the band says, “We feel it is incredibly important that we integrate our Indian identity through our style of music. We want to give our own meaning to our music, rather than copying anyone else.” There is no denying the fact that this pride has been contagious and the meaning they have given to music has been accepted with open arms.

I remember a year ago when I first heard Chekele, I could feel an immensely powerful current of energy surge through me.

Suddenly everybody was asking me if I had heard of this “awesome Mallu band called Avial”. The change had arrived!

So do they feel any different about performing outside Kerala?

The band told me, “Since many non-Malayalees are our fans, we actually feel at home in any Indian city. We actually perform more outside Kerala and enjoy it” This didn’t come as a surprise to me because I clearly remember (with MUCH envy) how my friends outside Kerala had a good time raving to me about how great the band was. That, after a full fortnight!

At that point, I couldn’t help but think of the confidence this band possessed. They say that vision is everything when it comes to success.

Avial knew what they wanted and went straight for it right from the beginning. When I asked the band if they expected to come this far they replied, “We certainly imagined and hoped we could. We are happy with our musical identity as well as our technical expertise, and so yes, sky is the limit!”

As they advance into 2010, Avial has their calendar marked with events. There just is no stopping them – “We do have a new song which we have only just released at the South Asian Band Festival, Delhi. We collaborated with a Singaporean composer and singer, Naomi Stafford, to perform a ChineseMalayalam mix called Shi Jie Pattu (World Love Song). We are in the process of recording our second album and hope to release it in 2010.”

A Chinese-Malayalam mix. If it can work for food, then why not music? Anyway it certainly is unique! The band is certain about where they want to go from here. They affirm that within the next decade they hope to release at least 5 albums successfully.

I, for one, have no doubts that they will surpass their own genius with each album.

As I listen to Nada Nada, savoring every bit of the song, I can’t decide if the song is better than the steaming avial curry calling from the dining table.

29

meenakshi IYER | meenakshi@highonscore.com

Weird? Funny? Sweet? Sarcastic? You never can tell until you’ve been QUERIED!

quirks and Queries E ver knew that the vivacious singer of Aye Bachchu from Ghajini excelled in Gospel music when she was barely 5? Bubbly and beautiful, Suzanne Dmello’s rise to fame was Latika’s Theme from the Academy Award winning Slumdog Millionaire. Suzie Q, as she is popularly known, is often compared to Mariah Carey.

Read on as she reveals her coy, spiritual self.

If not as a singer, the world would have otherwise known Suzanne Dmello as a...?

Psychologist, Interior designer or a Make-up Artist.

Fondest memory of 2009..

My walk with Jesus, at the beginning of the year. It gave me

Wishlist for 2010 n World Peace n Less traffic

n Green Earth n Music going back to how it used to be, pure and simple n Less pollution a spiritual awakening and I owe my success to Him. Suzie Q will never be seen enjoying a platter of..

Liver! (gasps). Or brain. Anything internal!

Your reaction on Slumdog Millionaire winning the Academy awards..

It was overwhelming to see something simple yet beautiful winning worldwide recognition.

Rahman sir deserved every bit of it. I consider myself fortunate to be associated with the project.

If you’re to name your greatest inspiration in the world of music, it would be?

Whitney Houston in English and Mohammed Rafi in Hindi, though there are loads whom I admire.

If you can travel back in time, one era you would die to live in?

The 60’s, ruled by The Beatles and Marilyn Monroe. Music was pure, less materialistic and less commercial.

30

A Bollywood actress you always dreamt of playback singing for?

Madhuri Dixit. Her charm is just magical.

A clothing brand you swear by?

I prefer street fashion and ethnic fusion. They’re funky and random.

Playback or live performances?

Live performances, any day. Because you get to connect with the audience, see them enjoy A celebrity you’d like to go on a date with?

This may sound weird, but that’ll be Angelina Jolie. So grounded for a global phenomenon!

sonali shenoy | sonali@highonscore.com

those

10

things I love scooters with no stepney (the very old Hollywood Rock Hudson type).

If I could be somebody else for a day, it would be definitely be Madonna or maybe someone I can’t stand.

My mom to this day is my biggest critic that really drives me.

I like cheap pens, some of them write so well.

When did I know that singing was for me?

That’s like asking when Angelina Jolie felt beautiful.

I think a good voice will be able to sell even dead mosquitoes.

I love scratching plates and that annoys well, just about everybody around me.

I will guard my family and those that I love with my life.

I am in heaven when I get a whiff of rosemary oil…..what a smell!

I think bathing animals is so relaxing and fun.

Oh I love animals, I hope to own a rhino, a buffalo and a hyena someday.

I

’ve never met Sunitha Sarathy in my life. Although, like most people I’ve caught a glimpse of her in the spotlight working her charm on an audience while doing what she loves to do best. One thing that any writer would confess when dealing with a person of celebrity status is that they can be extremely pricey if they want to be. So what do you do when you don’t know what to expect? You go through a channel of reference, a reliable reference that will hopefully get your artist to open up and have some fun with the interview. And it worked very well in this case. Like I said, I’ve never met Sunitha Sarathy but she took me on one roller coaster ride of an e-mail relay.

Talented would be cliché, dynamic would be an underplay, so I am going to go with ‘unpredictable.’ How does that grab you?

That’s right you don’t have a clue. So let’s say hello, shall we?

31

madhumitHa madhavan | madhu@highonscore.com

Engineering Rock Scenes We never thought of what we were doing as helping to create a rock scene.

We just went out and made the music we wanted to. That it had an effect was a by-product. As for Alms For Shanti in the U.S.—it’s tough being a musician anywhere. Even the salad days of rock in India were rife with obstacles. It’s part and parcel of trying to make a living out of music, especially non-mass, live music. But we do it because we love it.

Progress Meter The music scene in India is great and not so good. Great because there are so many small venues for smaller, lessknown bands to play at. In the ’80s and ’90s it was a struggle to get your own songs heard. If there’s anything in what we did as something to be proud of, it’s that we played a significant role in turning the rock audience’s taste from cover songs to original music by an Indian band. I think the success of “Pretty Child” set that in stone. The downside is that most of it is still far too derivative.

I’m still optimistic.

Overseas Sales, anyone?

The music scene anywhere is essentially a local thing. Everybody wants to be big in the U.S. But even the biggest of acts outside that country find it really, really hard to strike oil across the Atlantic. Local success isn’t a bad thing at all. And being popular in the West isn’t necessarily a mark of excellence.

ret u rn of the

RENEGADE

There is something profoundly inspirational about pioneers who help to create a revolution. And Indus Creed did just that. Over twenty years ago, when Indian rock was largely dominated by covers of international bands, they rocked the music scene with one of India’s first ever original rock albums Rock ‘n Roll Renegade We caught up with Indus Creed’s front-man, Uday Benegal who’s sights have just ventured toward Bollywood!

Pic Courtesy : Uday Benegal

32

Bollywood Calling My Bollywood experience has really been limited to Life Is Crazy, the song I sang for Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy in Wake Up Sid. It hardly felt like a Bollywood thing, though. I’ve known S-E-L individually for many years and sung for or performed with them. It was a cinch.

They called me up, I went in to the studio, they showed me the song, I loved it, I sang it, then went home.

Revival Route Whirling Kalapas is an acoustic band that Mahesh Tinaikar, my old-time band-mate from Indus Creed, and I put together. When I moved back to Bombay last year from New York we spoke about making music together again. We decided to revisit the acoustic sound and were thrilled to find Kenneth Rebello (bass), Jai Row Kavi (drums) and Sankarshan Kini (mandolin/violin). We’re having an incredibly satisfying time making music with them.

sonali shenoy | sonali@highonscore.com

Pic : G Venkata Krishnan

My first impression of Steeve and Jessica Vatz was that they were nice people.

My mother always said, “What kind of a word is nice? It’s so bland, doesn’t tell you anything about anybody.”

My second impression of Steeve and Jessica Vatz was that they were a patient couple. Our photographer woke up late and made them wait an hour and forty five minutes for their photo shoot.

My third impression of Steeve and Jessica Vatz was that they liked payback. They kept my friend and I waiting for an hour and forty five minutes. Luckily my friend was a good conversationalist.

At precisely 5.48 pm the Vatz couple made their entrance.

And then it was like a merry go- round. We all got on, and it was like one spin after the next.

Swirls of colour, and lots of different scenery, not to mention the thrill of the pace; minus the giddy part. Are you ready?

DOUBLE TAKE

She said: We met at a studio.

He said: That was 7 years ago.

He said: When I asked her if she would marry me, it was like a business deal.

She said: And I didn’t know how to react.

She said: I’d never been exposed to rock before, I hadn’t heard of Joe Satriani until I met Steeve.

He said: Music has been a maturing process. I am really not inclined

toward rock anymore. It’s more urban R&B and jazz.

He said: When I came up with the melody for ‘Glorious’, she didn’t

like it.

She said: He always gets the best out of an artist… even me.

(Timeout: Glorious is Jessica’s debut album. Produced by composer/ songwriter Steeve)

He said: We never pen our lyrics together, unless I am absolutely stuck.

She said: He’s the boss. I just sing. (Smiles)

33

He said: It took 3 days to come up with the album. You conceive it in your mind for years, but the birth of a song happens in a minute.

She said: I come from a very musical background. My dad was a classical musician.

He said: I’ve had the experience of working with directors like Harris Jayaraj. When somebody is experienced, you learn to bring out what that person is hearing.

She said: He’s a perfectionist.

He said: I think my scariest experience on stage was when my pants started to slip while I was performing.

She said: I told him, you are not going on stage in THOSE jeans. Try something different.

He said: I had to stand with my legs in one place throughout the show. My drummer was laughing at me. That’s when I told myself: Never listen to your wife again.

She said: He changes his mobile every month.

He said: I am very possessive about my gear. Nobody touches my guitar.

52

you’ve got to sing along with

Chennai Live

It just isn’t about how many drinks you can hold down these days. Oh no, it’s about how well you can make the revellers sing along into the night, figuring words off a big white screen; Courtesy our favourite Radio Station 104.8 FM! 34

advertorial feature

I

t’s never boring if you’re on the Chennai Live bandwagon, but over these past few months the excitement has reached a fever pitch. The spirit of Christmas reached an all time high with the rip-roaring and rollicking Battle of the Carols. It was war in the studio between WCC, Ethiraj, MCC, Stella Maris, MOP Vaishnav and Loyola with the girls from Ethiraj College singing home the grand trophy. However, the judges unanimously declared that all their happy tunes definitely added sparkle to the season.

If you thought the mood would have definitely died by the dawn of the New Year, you’d have to think all over again!

On the January 14 our favourite hang-out spot ‘10 Downing Street’ was brimming with all of Chennai’s croakers and crooners singing for all they were worth at Chennai Live’s 4th Edition of The Karaoke Competition. The Karaoke Competition – a Chennai Live initiative, takes place every 2nd Thursday of the month and has become an evening much looked forward to by Chennai’s party-goers.

With its perfect balance between great music, great food and great ambience it is the best way to unwind and just let your voice down...uh UP! This time was no different, with a phenomenal turn-out. The evening kicked off with a tough preliminary round that had our panel of judges scratch their heads and chew their pencils to select the top 20 finalists. Evidently, Chennai has more than its share of musicians tucked away in its winding alleys and Chennai Live was so happy to draw them out of their corners and put them on a stage! The 1st prize went to Sangeetha who pedalled away with a treadmill worth Rs. 32,000/- The 2nd prize went to Santhosh with a Fitness One voucher worth Rs.9000/- and the 3rd prize went to Christopher with a voucher from Lime and Vodka worth Rs.1000/-. If you’ve missed out on the last 4 editions don’t worry there’s one more to go in February before the Grand Finale when all the finalists compete for the grand prize! Now that will definitely be an evening to mark on your calendar.

But that’s not all, there’s a lot more happening this month with Chennai Live we had the much talked about Acoustic Music Competition for all college bands. And we have a lot of fun games and prizes to be won by both the cynics and the romantics this Valentine’ Day. If you have the cutest love story ever told, share it with us and you might just get a chance to be crowned the king and queen of romance for 2010.

So stay tuned and keep listening to Chennai’s only English Radio Station Chennai Live 104.8 FM.

HEY KJ PLAY THAT SONG Fancy yourself a chance behind the mic?

Head over to 10 Downing Street every 2nd Thursday and you might just walk..uh Talk away with fun prizes (they gave away a treadmill once, as well!)

35

With six Academy Award nominations, it came as no wonder that Clooney’s latest drama-flick had some bittersweet tunes; a peek at the music and its maker, Rolfe Kent of Dexter fame

36 52

anusha parthasarathy | anusha@highonscore.com

rolfe’s rhapsody T

he very first time I heard about Up in the Air, it was from a friend who watches only tear-jerker romances. My ears usually shut themselves at the mention of ‘love’ and ‘movie’ in the same line and since this was around Valentine’s Day, I wasn’t even pretending to listen.

She went on about a man wanting ten million frequent flyer miles while I dreamt on about what I wanted to wear to dinner that evening. But at the mention of the magic ‘G’ word, I perked up. Yes, George Clooney still has that effect on me. And so she went “George Clooney is this corporate downsizer. He goes around firing people in planes”. “He fires people on airplanes?” I retorted. “Of course not. He travels to different places to fire them. Anyway, I want you to listen to the soundtrack. Its good”, she went on and I switched off again.

That evening, as I was trying to dig up stuff about the movie, I chanced upon the soundtrack and its composer Rolfe Kent. A major in psychology from the University of Leeds, he is one of those selflearned composers, who just picked up an instrument one day and decided to master it.

They say musicians are born (or was that surgeons?) and Rolfe seems to fit the bill quite nicely. One day, he decided he wanted to compose music that would fit the character of the movie and not just temp tracks that are made to fit sequences. Imagine one of those slo-mo romantic running-toward-each other sequences with a rap sequence playing. Killer, isn’t it?

He was a part of many college and local bands in Yorkshire where he contributed original compositions but his biggest break was a music score for GROSS, a stage play at the Edinburgh Music Festival.

In the 90’s, Rolfe teamed up with director Alexander Payne and composed the track for Miramax’s Citizen Ruth. His trademark building of textural grooves came to use in another Miramax flick, The House of Yes, his second big break.

Rolfe Kent has composed music for over 40 feature films and movies like 17 Again, Wedding Crashers, Just Like Heaven and his Golden Globe winning score for About Schmidt.

Since Up in the Air needed music that “speaks to the nature of travel and warmth of human connection” (Wasn’t Clooney enough to do that?), Reitman roped in Kent for the soundtrack.

The music score has twelve tracks, each with a peculiar prologue to it. Interestingly enough, the song ‘Help Yourself ’ was composed by Chicago-based Sam Brad Smith after Reitman heard him playing at a coffee shop.

Kevin Renick wrote the title track ‘Up in the Air’ two years before Reitman began filming it. He had been laid off and when he discovered that his song was the same theme as the movie and sent a cassette to Reitman with a spoken introduction about it. Reitman liked it and placed it midway through the credits, calling it ‘do-ityourself ’ authenticity.

One of the songs that plays by a St. Louis band, Yukon Jake, plays for just thirty seconds in the movie during the wedding scene.

Originally considered for Academy award nominations, both ‘Help Yourself ’ and ‘Up in the Air’ were later withdrawn.

With a rather interesting music score with an interesting history, apart from what seems like a strong storyline, it’s no wonder it was called the best picture of 2009. I guess the entire crew is now ‘Up in the Air’ about it.

52 37

With $140 Million grossed worldwide the makers of Up In The Air can certainly let their heels cool as the movie releases in India 3 months after its US Release!

38

Ketaki Chandrasekar | ketaki@highonscore.com

W h a t ’s u p

A

Paul?

67- year old Rock Star! Picturing wrinkles and a dusty guitar? Perish the thought.

While for most rock artists, half the allure lies in the garb and good looks, Sir Paul McCartney prefers to rock with his music and more. With the recent release of his latest live album Good Evening New York City, Score got a little more inquisitive and decided to find out what makes this old chap tick.

He describes the new album as,“It was three great nights for the band and for me personally it was very exciting to be back opening a new stadium on the site of the old Shea Stadium where we had played 44 years previously. Even more exciting because this time round you could hear us!”

The album has generated rave reviews and in keeping with the populist approach, http://www.paulmccartney.com has even put up a song & video for free download! ‘Let me Roll it’ opens with sort of a conventional rock song feel – electric guitar chords and drums. As the song rolls out though, it feels ordinarily commercial. Perhaps this writer is more inclined to The Beatles’ and McCartney in his original style.

Going back in time, his songwriting partnership with Lennon is one of the most successful collaborations in the music industry. Together, they created some of the everlasting songs like All my loving, A Hard Day’s Night and Yesterday.

Apparently a man of many words, McCartney has also released a children’s book in 2005 titled ‘High In The Clouds: An Urban Furry Tail’.

But his pursuits do not end there. He owns copyrights to over 3000 songs and publishing rights [remember the film Brokeback Mountain?] in the media industry through his company MPL Communications.

environmentalist. He has been quoted to have said, “She’s very brave, and she has solid principles that she’s stuck with against all odds, so I respect her for that. I’m a very proud dad.”

There just doesn’t seem to be stopping ol’ Paul as he keeps the albums rolling on to the shelves and off them, just as fast!

So at 67, how does this one man wonder manage various facets of his life?

Meditation for peace of mind.

Any Beatles fan in India will recall proudly how deeply they were influenced by our country and more specifically the ‘Beatles guru’ Maharishi Mahesh Yogi back in the 60’s. McCartney still practices his TM® technique [Transcendental Meditation technique] which involves reciting a mantra.

To sum up – Avatar 1: Musician Avatar 2: Songwriter/Writer Avarat 3: Activist Avatar 4: Businessman Avatar 5: Painter Avatar 6: Father Avatar 7: Spiritual person Whatever role he assumed though, Sir Paul McCartney has been a force to reckon with over the last few decades – something that’s worth a little ‘twist and shout’.

Maybe World War II, Vietnam War etc. created individuals with idealistic views, which is perhaps rare to find now.

McCartney is a big activist who is most vociferous about Animal Rights, Third World Debt and campaigns against landmines. He supports many international charities and causes.

He is currently expected to participate in Simon Cowell’s single [cover of REM’s ‘Everybody Hurts’] to gather relief funds in aid of Haiti earthquake victims.

His daughter Stella McCartney, a popular fashion designer, is also an

39

27

WHAT BILLBOARD THOUGHT WERE THE TOP 10 tracks in 2009 and what we thought about it! #1 The Black Eyed Peas-Boom Boom Pow Upbeat, funky and electric. It beats all their work this year and is definitely a winner! #2 Lady Gaga-Poker Face By far, Lady Gaga’s trademark for this year. “P-p-p-pokerface” might have sounded like incurable epilepsy in any other context, but in this song sounds like a fit beat for the dance floor. #3 Lady Gaga Featuring Colby O’Donis-Just Dance This song lacks any distinction: mellow, cliché pop beats. You could listen to it on a long train journey to keep awake, and it won’t help. #4 The Black Eyed Peas-I Gotta Feeling Peppy! It’s hard not to love this one, especially before a night out.

#5 Taylor Swift-Love Story The song has all the makings of pure candyfloss: lyrics about dewy-eyed young lovers kept apart, who nevertheless fancy their love the everlasting Romeo-Juliet kind, bathed in the soft yellow sunshine of this song. Though we admit, this Love Story might have really worked its magic on us, at 13. #6 Flo Rida-Right Round Raunchy lyrics and distinctive beats, Flo Rida ‘s gotten the attention of dance floor yuppie listeners, with this one. There is little else to say for this one. #7 Jason Mraz-I’m Yours With that seductive voice, Jason Mraz is a pop star to watch out for in 2010, though ‘I’m Yours’ is far from his best work, this year. #8 Beyonce-Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It) This defo sounds hip and sexy, and quite nice sing along to on long drives, if you don’t delve too much into the rather baffling lyrics. #9 Kanye West-Heartless Sounds cool, its Kanye West after all. Exceptional enough to feature on the list of ten best singles released this year?

Definitely not, methinks. #10 The All-American Rejects-Gives You Hell Pop music lovers have voted them the tops, numero uno on Hot Pop songs! In all fairness, they’ve earned their place here.

Cheryl Cole may be breaking up her marriage and moving in with the Beckhams’ but she still finds time to say ‘Fight for this Love’ - on her debut solo album - 3 Words IRONY? Either way she’s our SCORE-STAR this month!

40

Pic Courtesy : Universal Music

I

f you were to look up the word ‘Atelier’ in the dictionary, this is probably what you might come across: ATELIER – A Workshop or Studio for an Artist or Designer. If most of you were wondering what it had to do with a gymnasium or ‘fitness studio’, I wouldn’t blame you; so was I. Until I entered the hallowed portals of sheer fitness that is Ateliers, Chennai’s fastest growing chain of fitness studios.

The first thing that struck me about their brand new branch in Sembakkam (near Tambaram) is that it is huge and spaciously laid out. With an impressive 11,000 sq. ft. dedicated to body fitness the clutter-free environment in the Velachery Studio also guarantees a peaceful mind during your daily work out. The second thing that was quite apparent was the presence of healthy and extremely cheerful clients working out and interacting with the ever-helpful trainers. It is clear that customer satisfaction is one of their strongest selling points.

Apart from being the city’s largest centre of its kind, Ateliers offers a comprehensive set of workouts and routines.

This second studio was opened after the fabulous response received at their flagship fitness studio at Velachery. You don’t have to pinch yourself, it is true. So pick up your exercise kit and head straight to Ateliers.

Ateliers boasts of state-of-the-art equipment in both the Cardio & Strength segments with certified personal trainers. I have noticed, where most studios prescribe fitness routines that will require strict dieting and fasting, at Ateliers they advocate “healthy caloric dieting” which is ideal if you enjoy various cuisines and love eating! They have nutrition specialists who are flexible enough to check the client’s progress while maintaining diets that aren’t all too strict. Each diet chart is tailor made for the customer after taking into consideration their likes and dislikes, their lifestyle and their height, weight, BMI & fat percentage.

Acclaimed physiotherapists, are also an option in case you need that niggling back pain or aching joints eased up in no time at all. I found it interesting that they have this system of grading fitness levels. Initially most people including myself would have found it uncomfortable to get a fitness level graded, because no one like being told they’re unhealthy, especially not by well toned Ex-Mister India gents like Mr Arasu, Fitness Advisor.

The difference is, the way they do it is that you are graded in a way that tells you how easy the way ahead is and not how much over the red line on the weighing scale you are.

Every client is given a Fitness Schedule; these vary according to an individual’s muscle flexibility, cardio endurance, muscle endurance and personal fitness goals. If you aren’t much for weight lifting and cardio, you can be up for some good news! Ateliers offers calisthenics workouts which means you will have to barely move a muscle... OK maybe a few but that will be just about it. Fitness never was THIS easy!

Ateliers banks so much on customer gratification that they use “sports art strength equipments”. The big deal here is that even if you happen to accidentally push the wrong button or operate the equipment incorrectly, your muscles will never be injured. Besides, the trainer ensures that you have their undivided attention for specific time intervals.

Fitness was never FUN until i began working out at Ateliers. With all the stamina required for soccer its a pleasure coming in to trained professionals who always wear a smile. Hats off!

- p k madhavan MD, vijay nichole/dir- f4 football academy

Going to the gym was always a tedious experience, until i rediscovered it, thanks to ATELIERS. Its a real pleasure to work out here because its almost like unwinding, especially after a long day’s work

Ateliers is managed by Mr.Mounaguru ( Ex. Veteran Sportsman ) Mr. M.Arasu ( Mr.India ) who is the Honorable Chief Advisor in Weight Management & Fitness and Mrs. Sushila ( CEO )

- R Kavitha Proprietrix, Vintech Business Solutions

Address : Sembakkam - 100 A, Velachery Main Road, Sembakkam Velachery - 37, Velachery Main Road, Vijay Nagar Contact : 42184141 / 42184142

42

advertorial feature

get into shape

the ateliers way

HIGHLIGHTS OF ATELIERS FITNESS - Strength Training - Cardio, Aerobics - Dance (Kids and Adult) - Ladies Fusion Fitness - Tummy Reduction Program - Core Strengthening - Flexibility improvement - Slim kit - Bodybuilding - Steam bath - Valet parking - Physio clinicz - Nutritionist Advice - Sports Training & Supplementation - Calisthenic workouts with special packages & discounts for senior citizens and students.

What’s best is that all these facilities don’t cost you more than they should, considering that they are a five star rated centre. Your good health awaits you. You can drink to that, but please... stick to fresh juices!

43

Pix : Srirama Santhosh

keeping time

The Classy Way

T

he already sparkling Skywalk Mall, just added a shiny new diamond to its glittering crown. With its pristine glow and hyper smooth textures, there is little doubt that one of the first things that is bound to catch your attention is the uber- glitzy RADO watch boutique that was thrown open to the public on February 18.

If you think the glow emanating from the Swiss watch makers exclusive showroom is something to write home about, its probably a good thing that you weren’t present for the opening festivities. Why? Because Rado flew their brand ambassador, all the way from Canada - the vivacious Lisa Ray in person to open the store to the public.

The store itself boasts of some of the finest Swiss creations to have emerged from the watch makers forge. Going beyond merely telling the time and looking fabulous on your wrist, the watches make a flamboyant statement about the charac-

ter of the wearer. Lisa Ray reflected the very same sentiment when she said, “The time-pieces define personality, just the way this watch defines mine.”

The Rado boutique is a part of the franchise controlled by the Zimson group, one of south India’s leading upmarket watch retailers since 1948. Spread across Chennai, Bangalore and Coimbatore the constantly growing group has in excess of 30 retail outlets catering to peoples timely needs.

The boutique was inaugurated jointly by Ms Lisa Ray, Mr Olivier Cosandier and Mr Khaleel, Managing Director, Zimsons group to much pomp and fanfare.

With pristine series such as the Sintra, Ceramica and Rado True nestled in the dynamically luminescent interiors of the boutique, it comes as no surprise that though the watches are dear in monetary value, the sheer shopping experience is one to look forward to.

The newly opened Rado Watch Boutique is the cause of many an awe-struck stare at the Ampa Skywalk Mall

Lisa Ray, the Brand Ambassador of Rado cutting the ribbon alongside Mr Khaleel, MD - Zimson Group

Lisa Ray was as gracious as brand-ambs came, smiling her million-dollar smile and autographing the placard

Well wishers and friends of the Zimson Group thronged the boutique and got snapped with Lisa Ray!

Rado’s uber-stylish Ceramica Chronograph Series, seen here will be available at the Boutique

Oliver presenting Lisa with a brand new Rado Sintra Guess stars have their Good TIMES as well!

44

advertorial feature Ravishingly Ray With a whole host of R’s From Rado to (Lisa) Ray and adjectives such as rapturous, ravishing and rejuvenating it was quite the treat watching the crowd getting comfortable with Lisa’s friendly manner and affable approach.

45

swati nair | swati@highonscore.com

(Cheesy Red Curtain rises) Hugh Grant is sitting sadly playing a piano.

Hugh: All I wanna do is find a way back into looooove. I can’t make it through without a way back into looooove. And if I open my heart again, I guess I’m hoping you’ll be there for me till the ennnnnd.

Enter Britney Spears wearing a space jacket.

Britney: Oops, you think I’m in love… I’m sent from abooooove. I’m not that innocent!

Hugh shudders and walks away looking very much like the lonely pink cow in Farmville. Meanwhile Bon Jovi was witnessing the whole thing. He is thoroughly outraged. He runs behind Britney singing…

BJ: Shot through the hearrrrt, and you’re to blame darlin’ you give

looove a bad name! I play my part and you playyy your game! You give loooove, a bad name!

Brit freaks out at the prospect of another blonde kinkier than her at writing bad love songs and gets the hell away from the place.

BSB decide to take advantage of the situation and make a song hoping it will be a huge hit.

BSB: I triiiied… to go on like I never knew you… I’m awake… but my world is half asleeeeeeep. I prayedddd for this heart to be unbroken, but without you all I am going to beeee is… Incomplete!

Timbaland notices that the audiences are now asleep and he feels bad. He thinks to himself “I can make a love song, heck yeah!” Sure enough, everyone wakes up when the speakers begin blaring club music.

Girl with sexy voice: Baby if you strip you can get a tip 'cuz I like you just the way you are!

Sebastian: I’m about to strip and I want it quick can you handle me

the way I are?

By now everyone has forgotten their grammar and they don’t know what to think of love. Only then does everyone notice that Shakira who has the Can’tstopdancing Syndrome has well, not stopped dancing.

Shakira: Objection! I don’t wanna be the exception… to get a bit of

your attention… I love you for free and I’m not your mother, but you don’t even bother!

Simon and Garfunkel are fed up with her pestering and sing

mush ado

S&G: Don’t talk of love… But I have heard the words before! It's

sleeping in my memory. I won't disturb the slumber of feelings that have died. If I never loved I never would have cried! I am a rock! I am an island!

Shakira sadly packs up and leaves. The audience is crestfallen.

P!nk feels really bad for Shakira and decides to teach Paul Simon a lesson. She steps in for Shakira

about nothing

P!nk: SO what? I’m still a rockstar! I got my rock moves! And I don’t

neeeed you and guess what? I’m having more fun! Now that we’re done, I’m gonna show youuuu tonight!

Paul Simon is terrorized and grabs Art Garfunkel and scuttles off. Backstreet Boys again take advantage of the ensuing uncomfortable silence by singing their self claimed comeback song.

The Score Magazine proudly presents Star Wars - The battle for supremacy over whose love song is the BOMB! Let the games begin!

BSB: You can fool anyone but I got eyes to see… that you're not for me, babe. No No uh uh. Things will never be the same again with you!

Audience starts praying for some divine intervention and for someone to finally sing a meaningful love song. At this moment, Pink Floyd takes the stage and David Gilmour sings…

Dave Gilmour: So… So you think you can tell, Heaven from hell?

Blue skies from pain? Can you tell a green field, from a cold steel rail? A smile from a veil? Do you think you can tell?

At the end of the song everyone is stunned and the audience breaks into thunderous applause. The potheads who heard that FLOYD had reunited brought the herbal smoke and created heart patterns.

It finally feels like it is Valentine’s Day.

46

R.Dis No 339 / 09