Embracing embarrassment

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Embarrassment typically occurs following an accidental failure to meet the accepted social standards, such as tripping in public, forgetting someone’s name, or having private information leaked. This emotion can cause specific physiological changes, including blushing, sweating, or stammering.

Many argue that humiliation does good for society, as it signals to others that we care about social standards and can thus be trusted. But, perpetual enforcement of social norms, primarily through the threat of shame, can be extremely harmful.

Men may avoid getting prostate exams, women skip mammograms, and seniors might not even use hearing aids because of embarrassment.

Despite condoms effectively preventing pregnancy and the risk of STIs, a survey by Fusion Condoms found that 56% of people surveyed were embarrassed to buy condoms. In addition, about 54% of men and 57% of women got red-faced while buying condoms.

According to GoodTherapy, a national program that connects therapists with people all around the country, just one embarrassing experience can be detrimental to someone’s confidence and sense of self-worth over a long period.

When in social settings, embarrassment can become crippling, according to the American Psychological Association. Whether it be making new friends or going on a date, most people do not know how to cope with their embarrassment. This can lead to anxiety, depression, and a decrease in confidence.

Essentially, embarrassment is the body’s way of apologizing for not meeting the accepted norms, making it a process through which societal standards are validated and enforced.

According to VetoViolence, a CDC anti-violence resource, societal standards can affect any aspect of our lives; they contribute to our clothing choices, beliefs, and even how we speak. However, not all norms are beneficial to society; harmful societal standards have evolved over the years, from racism to sexism, to homophobia, to body shaming. These rules have no specific reasoning behind them, yet people continue doing things the way they always have been done because they are embarrassed to do otherwise.

The journey to embracing embarrassment is packed with self-acceptance and confidence-building. A start can be developing attention control; try to focus more on the people around you and less on yourself.

Most importantly, stop hiding. Hiding can reinforce the belief that you have done something that needs to be hidden from others, but it most likely draws more attention.

After all, it isn’t worth letting the world know you care about their standards when the process ends in self-shame and insecurity. Live by your own norms and embrace embarrassment.