20 minute read
Knowing the “no”
Schools fail to tackle rape culture
My first expectations about intimacy, relationships, and sex were formed through movies.
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I fawned over Noah from “The Notebook,” seeing no issue in his inability to take “no” as an answer from Allie as he relentlessly pursued her. Nothing seemed wrong with Caroline’s night of sex she could not remember in “16 Candles.” “The Little Mermaid” was my favorite — Ariel giving up her voice for a man she barely knew was romantic to me, despite it resulting in him being the only one with the ability to voice opinions and interests in their relationship as a result.
I carried these scenes and the unhealthy messages they taught me about relationships through my childhood and into high school.
In the first nine weeks of freshman year, as a part of our general health curriculum, we learned about sexual intercourse, condom and contraceptive use, and our growing and changing bodies. We were taught about consent and the fact that no one has the right to pressure you into having sex, ever.
While these topics are important, the curriculum failed to grasp more complicated topics relating to sexual assault and consent. Terms like “victim-blaming,” “power imbalances,” and “rape culture” were never a part of the lessons. Conversations about the nuances of consent and the social aspect of sex were also overlooked, despite the fact that hook-up culture plays a big role in the lives of today’s teenagers. Lessons about the role social media plays in encouraging rape culture were completely absent from the curriculum.
As I progressed through high school, I found myself struggling to understand these difficult concepts. I began to realize that the curriculum had only scratched the surface when it came to knowledge about consent and sexual assault. I thought about the other boys and girls who had grown up watching the same movies as I had and likely carried the same false depiction of relationships and sex through their daily lives.
This is a huge problem. Unfortunately, it reaches far beyond Carlmont. Research has found that across America, nearly all students receive some sort of sex education, but the subject matter often varies, specifically regarding issues of consent and relationships, according to an analysis by the Center for American Progress.
“According to state laws and education standards, only 10 states and the District of Columbia mention the terms ‘healthy relationships,’ ‘sexual assault,’ or ‘consent’ in their sex education programs,” writes Sarah Shapiro and Catherine Brown. “This means that the majority of U.S. public school students do not receive instruction through their state’s sex education program on how to identify healthy and unhealthy relationship behaviors.”
Additionally, the information is presented to us when we are 14 or 15 years old. It is a good introduction, and it is great that the curriculum starts the conversation about consent from a young age. But as I progressed through high school, I was surprised that the conversation didn’t continue. The information needs to be revisited, even re-taught, to combat increased sexual assault incidents as students age.
Continued discussions of these topics will help bring awareness to these taboo topics. This is key to changing a culture of sexual entitlement. It may help end the power imbalances that protect perpetrators and encourage schools to increase punishments for those who commit sexual assaults. Best of all, it will create a generation of educated students who have the tools to protect themselves as they grow into adulthood.
*The writer and artist wish to remain anonymous due to the sensitive contents of the article
Getting to the bottom of the bottle
Content warning: this Scotlight discusses topics such as drugs, sex, and alcohol that may be triggering to certain readers.
Truly cans and White Claws litter the pavement. High schoolers mill around tables laden with shots of Fireball and Smirnoff, red Solo cups in hands.
Music blasts in the background, a deafening roar that drowns out all of their friend’s conversations. The throbbing in their head comes and goes with the bass of “Goosebumps” as they begin to lose consciousness.
Eyes flutter. Sweat drips off their face, alerting nearby classmates of the situation.
Soon enough, words from concerned party-goers become a blur. Standing up straight becomes difficult.
Then it all turns black.
Paramedics are called. An ambulance arrives. It quickly carries the heavily intoxicated student out of the backyard and into the waiting vehicle. They are whisked away to the hospital to be treated for alcohol poisoning.
Ava Young*, a junior at Carlmont, has witnessed this nightmare scenario play out at a local party and has blacked out herself due to alcohol consumption.
According to Young, partying is common among Carlmont students. She has encountered countless classmates and friends at every function she’s been to.
National data backs up her assertion. According to the CDC, about two-thirds of high school students have tried alcohol by 12th grade, and people ages 12 to 20 consume about 10% of all alcohol in the United States.
“Underage drinking is pretty common at parties. At every party I’ve been to, alcohol has been provided to some extent,” Young said.
For some party-goers, the presence of alcohol is a big draw.
“Alcohol is nice. My fears and anxieties leave my body for a bit, and I’m just living,” said James Fairfax*, a junior.
However, at an alcohol-fueled party, things can go south quite quickly. For Young, a few bad choices with alcohol have soured her experience.
“I’ve had negative experiences with drinking where I’ve ignored my limits and drank too much, which resulted in sickness and an overall bad experience,” Young said.
As a result of these experiences, Young offered some advice to students attending these parties and planning to drink for the first time.
“I don’t think drinking in a large setting for the first time is a wise decision. I suggest that your first time drinking is with your parents, close friends, or someone you trust,” Young said.
Daniel Smith*, a junior, has followed that advice.
“Prior to parties, I was already exposed to alcohol via my parents so that when the time came, I would be responsible and make smart decisions,” Smith said.
However, Smith has still had to contend with peer pressure at these gatherings. According to Smith, he’s felt peer-pressured in these situations and admits that he has been “doing more than [he] would have if [he] was sober.”
Smith noted that not only do friends pressure others, but maintaining a particular public image can play a significant role in going past your normal amount.
“I’ve been peer pressured to do more shots than I would’ve on my own, but also the environment itself [is a factor]. You don’t want to be the ‘lame’ guy,” Smith said.
To combat this, Smith noted that no matter how much he drank, he would always be sure to have a designated driver in his group to ensure a safe ride home. Smith also highlighted that his familiarity with alcohol prior to parties had made his experience a safer one.
“[I’m] drinking more than I would [without pressure], but I’m not trying something I haven’t before,” Smith said.
For those who attend parties, Young reinforced the need to be aware of how much they are drinking.
“If you are planning on drinking at a party, you should be conscientious of your limits,” Young said.
For those who drink a lot, worrying patterns can emerge, such as binge drinking. And it’s more prevalent than one might think. A 2017 national survey titled “Monitoring the Future” reported that almost one-fifth of 12th graders binge drank, which is defined as having five or more drinks in a row at least once in the past two weeks during the prior 30 days.
Binge drinking is the most common pattern of alcohol consumption among adolescents, accounting for more than 90% of the alcohol consumed by high school students, according to a study in 2007 titled “Binge drinking and associated health risk behaviors among high school students.” Binge drinking, which often can be triggered by the social setting, creates dangerous situations for the drinker and those around them.
At those same parties, the noise and commotion can create a raucous environment. As a result, parties occasionally receive noise complaints from neighbors that necessitate a police presence.
“I’ve been at a party that has been shut down by cops. Teen partying definitely [presents] a legal issue, specifically for the legal guardian of the teen hosting. Since the teen’s parents weren’t home at the time, it created a challenging situation,” Young said.
This can create major liability for parents, especially if they provide alcohol for teens. Under local social host ordinances, hosts of parties where alcohol is supplied to teenagers can face major penalties, including hefty fines.
However, this doesn’t deter some students.
“At parties, it seems common to drink, so engaging in it didn’t feel illegal,” Fairfax said.
This normalization of illegal substances is worrying. But underage drinking is far from the only illegal activity that happens behind authorities’ backs.
*In accordance with Carlmont’s Anonymous Sourcing Policy, the name of the source has been changed to preserve the subject’s anonymity and prevent any forseeable threat to the source’s safety.
What’s the deal with drugs?
The notion of drug deals happening in a dark, sketchy alley during the dead of night is outdated.
Instead, picture this: you are scrolling through Snapchat one day, and you click on a story. You are confronted by the image of a blunt and a price tag, advertising easy access to drugs for the low price of $10.
After expressing your interest over Snapchat, you show up to school the next day and make your way to the bathroom at a predetermined time to meet another student, who drops a bag into your hand and walks off.
This may sound like a stretch to some, but it is a reality for many high school students in the Bay Area.
The paradigm of drug dealing is changing. New-fangled types of payment such as CashApp and Venmo are uttered within the same sentence as “cannabis flowers” and “THC vaporizers.” The ease of access has increased with social
Liam Anderson*
media.
The CDC reports that about 38% of high school students nationwide have used marijuana. Some students have taken advantage to provide for that user base.
According to Anderson, about two-thirds of his customer base were classmates or peers from nearby schools. He attracted new customers easily by connecting with them in person rather than online.
“Finding new customers was usually word of mouth since you can’t make physical ads, but with recurring customers, they would usually contact me through social media,” Anderson said.
In placing their order, customers had to choose the quantity, with a single size for different substances such as “oils, concentrates, and shatter,” and varying sizes for THC vaporizer cartridges and cannabis.
In an attempt to further protect himself from legal issues, Anderson preferred that payments be made in cash rather than traceable transactions. However, he was flexible and worked with his clients.
“As for payments, cash is always king, but I would accept Venmo, PayPal, or Cashapp if that was their only method of payment,” Anderson said
This goal of evading authorities slowed his business enterprise at all avenues, from obtaining substances to dealing with them.
One of the trickiest parts of the process was acquiring substances other than cannabis in the first place.
“Drugs like stimulants, opioids, psychs, etc., had to be a more thoughtout, thorough process. You would have to jailbreak a computer and use a VPN router to avoid anyone being able to look back or track what you were doing. Then you have to continue to look through the dark web, keeping your eyes peeled for delivery ads. Once I found a distributor that worked for me and had what I was looking for, I’d contact them to see when I could schedule a pickup,” Anderson said.
Pickups were no less risky.
“Once everything is organized with the distributor, I’d always make sure I had some type of plan in case everything went south and would usually try to have one or two of my partners with me in some way,” Anderson said.
Anderson’s involvement stemmed from the desire for financial gain.
“I wanted to be making money, but I was too young at the time to get a job. I had some older peers in my life back then that aren’t around anymore.
I would talk to them about how I wanted to work and earn money which ultimately led to them introducing me to dealing and trapping,” Anderson said.
He began dealing when he was in sixth grade. Barely out of elementary school and without a driver’s license, Anderson was forced to be creative and resourceful.
“[I] had to get around by riding my bike through town or taking the train to get to neighboring cities. Everything got a lot easier once I got my license and had a car to commute,” Anderson said.
Anderson saw results almost instantaneously.
“At first, I just started out flipping cannabis flowers and saw that it was a good field to make quick and fast money. After I saw how much profit I was making after less than a month, I decided to try and expand,” Anderson said.
The transportation barrier and the fact that he was new to the drug scene made it difficult to get off the ground, especially as he tried to expand his reach.
Playing the waiting game, Anderson built up a solid foundation of consumers and methodically began to attract new ones, expanding his business. With that, profits began increasing. “After I’d been in the business for some time, though, I started gaining a more secure client base and had more clients to do business with. Once I had a steady flow [of clients], I averaged from $800-$1,200 a month,” Anderson said.
Not expecting to be so successful at dealing, Anderson pursued this opportunity. At the peak of his operation, Anderson was dealing drugs to 750 separate customers in a year.
It’s easy to sensationalize drug dealing. The promise of a quick buck and the perception of a lighter sentence as a teenager can appeal to many.
But the legal repercussions alone make drug dealing an extremely risky venture. Minors found in unlawful possession of drugs can face a number of legal and financial consequences. California Health and Safety Code 11352 (HS 11352) prohibits the sale, transport, and administration of drugs by any means, and offenders can be charged with a felony.
Juveniles found caught in possession of drugs or any other form of drug trafficking may be charged with delinquency. This typically results in appearing in California juvenile court, or in extreme cases, criminal court.
Being tried in a criminal court means adolescents can face excessive fines and extended periods of incarceration. Eligibility for the criminal court is dependent on the type of offense, amount of substance in their possession, and an individual’s criminal and substance abuse history.
Getting involved can also have deadly consequences.
Mohammad Othman, a 17-year-old and Carlmont senior at the time of his death, was a star wideout for the football team.
According to Mercury News, on Jan. 7, 2019, Othman was shot in the parking lot of Central Elementary School in Belmont, Calif., in what District Attorney Steve Wagstaffe characterized as a purported drug deal gone wrong.
It produced five arrests, three of whom were juveniles.
Juvenile misdemeanors have farreaching effects. It can create a host of problems that range from limited employment opportunities to eligibility for public housing and licensure for certain professions.
Choices high school students make in their youth can follow them into adulthood. Failure to talk about these taboo topics can have long-term ramifications.
*In accordance with Carlmont’s Anonymous Sourcing Policy, the name of the source has been changed to preserve the subject’s anonymity and prevent any foreseeable threat to the source’s safety.
Let’s talk about SEX, baby...
Samantha Williams*, a junior at Carlmont, was scrolling through Tumblr one day when she noticed a link and hovered her mouse over it. That click stripped away her innocence.
She was 12 years old. And she’s not alone.
A 2006 study from the University of New Hampshire found that out of the almost 600 responses gathered, 72.8% of participants had seen online pornography before age 18.
The fact that Williams wasn’t even a teenager when she first viewed pornography is troubling. Even more concerning are the effects of continued exposure to pornography on children and adolescents and the sex culture that comes from it.
Pornography is well-known for providing its viewers with a narrow sexual script. It stresses sexual prowess and proficiency — often, actors and actresses can perform any sexual activity for any length of time.
Moreover, pornography glorifies violence toward women. Men are constantly painted as aggressors; they are demeaning, derogatory, and aggressive. Women’s responses are submissive or even positive; their purpose is to be used and degraded.
This normalizes humiliating and exploiting women, all under the guise of pleasure or “kinks.” Their value lies only in what they can offer to men.
“Most popular porn contains some sort of slapping, choking, or hairpulling. These are things that are now mostly accepted to be part of sex and not as boundaries to be discussed with your partner, something that needs to be consented to,” Williams said.
The majority of free adult online porn websites promote “hypermasculinity, male domination and the prioritization of male sexual pleasure as the norm,” according to a 2010 study titled “Free Adult Internet Web Sites: How Prevalent Are Degrading Acts?” Through the consumption of this type of media, impressionable adolescents are made to believe that the subjugation of women is allowed and even encouraged by society.
“The violence [in porn] is scary. It shouldn’t be there because it makes young boys think they have to be scary and aggressive to be sexy,” Quinn Peterson*, a senior at Carlmont, said.
A 2017 study published by the American Psychological Association titled “Age of First Exposure to Pornography Shapes Men’s Attitudes Toward Women” showed how the age of exposure to porn was correlated with the adoption of warped ideals of dominance and control in the bedroom.
“We found that the younger a man was when he first viewed pornography, the more likely he was to want power over women,” Alyssa Bischmann, a doctoral student at the University of Nebraska, Lincoln, wrote in the study.
What’s more, porn also can shape daily attitudes. That same study noted that the age at which a boy is first exposed to porn is “significantly associated” with sexist behavior later in life. For Peterson, the porn industry’s language represents a worrying trend.
“Sometimes, the language revolving around it is really dehumanizing and misogynistic,” Peterson said.
Adolescent males believe they have to be buff and domineering because that’s what they see working on screen. They see aggression and violence produce sexual gratification, and they believe these behaviors are normative and even desired.
“Porn is purely performative. A lot of times, the boys are mean. That’s toxic masculinity at its worst,” Morgan Phillips*, a senior at Carlmont, said.
Pornography, at its core, is a quest for sexual pleasure for the viewer. It’s accomplished through the viewing and usage of other people’s bodies, where other people are tools for the viewers’ gratification.
“I knew the sort of content the boys I was getting with were watching; the way that content hypersexualized women to the point they just seemed like objects of entertainment,” Williams said.
But female objectification isn’t the only problem. Porn sets unrealistic standards for body image and sex.
A 2012 study by Destin Stewart and Dawn Szymanski of college-aged women and their relationship with male partners found that excessive porn use negatively correlated with women’s self-esteem and relationship quality.
“Porn informs a lot of youth, but it’s not reality. It’s fiction,” Peterson said.
Still, what porn portrays as conventional is anything but. Performers are chosen for excelling at beauty standards set by the industry. These features are enhanced by stylists, lighting, makeup, and camera angles, furthering unrealistic standards for viewers.
“It’s obviously a little bit discouraging because they spend money to modify their body,” Charlotte Moore*, a senior at Carlmont, said.
Cosmetic surgeries, STDs, drugs, extreme diets, and male enhancement products pervade the porn industry.
“[Porn] puts a stigma on me. You see these girls onscreen — you have to be an attractive person to be using your looks and body for money,” Moore said.
Other Carlmont students feel some of the same pressures.
“My friend showed porn to me. It affected me because a lot of the things in there aren’t real. Just think about it. Someone is recording that. Why is someone watching it? That’s not sex. That’s porn,” Phillips said.
This pressure to perform worries students. Those who shared their first-time experiences found a stark contrast between what’s shown on screen and what actually happens in the bedroom, displaying the inaccuracies portrayed in porn.
“My first time, whatever that even means, was completely awful. It
happened in a back room at a party, with both of us a little intoxicated and therefore unable to consent,” Williams said.
Porn heavily saturates sex; it’s oftentimes impersonal and aggressive because it’s based on scripts, roles, and theatrics. For Williams, she maintained that it’s not reflective of how relationships and sex work in reality.
“I felt kind of awful and used, and typically don’t even like to consider that my ‘first time,’ but it serves to show the stark contrast between the expectations hetero-patriarchy had set and what actually went down. I think there’s this really interesting dichotomy between a virginal bride and a complete whore. You get one or the other depending on who you’re with and what material conditions told you to do,” Williams said.
Despite the struggles students face individually, some find reassurance in shared experiences. At Carlmont, some students believe that many have bucked the “taboo” label and are quite open about their sexual activity.
“For some reason, that’s all anyone talks about. Like having sex, but it’s not a shameful thing. Everyone’s really open and honest about their sexuality. It’s an encouraging and comfortable community,” Moore said.
For Peterson, they stressed the need to think of sex as something that’s simply a fact of life.
“Sex is made out to be this scary thing for teens like us and is often thought of as naughty and dirty, but it’s only natural,” Peterson said.
To them, it’s about changing the narrative for teenagers. Reinforcing Moore’s thoughts about Carlmont’s open community, Peterson ended with a simple piece of advice for teens.
“It’s better to talk about [sex and porn] than pretend like it’s taboo,” Peterson said.
*In accordance with Carlmont’s Anonymous Sourcing Policy, the name of the source has been changed to preserve the subject’s anonymity and prevent any forseeable threat to the source’s safety.
Link to full interview
