Painting a picture of aromanticism

Painting a picture of aromanticism Painting a picture of aromanticism

ARt AND WRItING by KASEy LIU

Hugging, kissing, gifting a box of chocolates. These are all actions associated with romantic relationships, but these actions provoke little to no romantic attraction for those on the aromantic spectrum.

However, that doesn’t mean aromantic people don’t experience love at all. Alex Golding, a member of the San Mateo Pride Center team, shares his insight on the different types of attraction.

“Connections to people are made up of many different aspects. Not all relationships have to involve having a romantic partner,” Golding said.

Those on the aromantic spectrum can still have intimate relationships with others, such as platonic, spiritual, and familial relationships. For example, one may feel extremely close to their best friends or parents but not in a romantic manner.

Additionally, although sexual and romantic attraction are often grouped together, it is essential to note that they are not the same. While sexual attraction delineates sexual interest, romantic attraction delineates a desire for romantic interaction.

Aromanticism, often abbreviated as aro, describes feeling little to no romantic attraction. On the other hand, asexuality, often abbreviated as ace, describes feeling little to no sexual attraction. Though some may identify as aroace (both aromantic and asexual), not all aromantic people are asexual, and not all asexual people identify as aromantic.

According to a 2019 study conducted by the UCLA Williams Institute, about 1.7% of United States adults identify as asexual. Of this 1.7%, according to a 2019 survey conducted by the Asexual Community Survey, 38.9% of asexuals identify on the aromantic spectrum. However, it is essential to note that very few studies are conducted on the asexual and aromantic communities, so these conclusions may not be representative of the population as a whole.

A common identity on the aromantic spectrum is demiromantic, which describes people who can only experience romantic attraction after a strong emotional bond has been formed. Some may also identify as grayromantic, which describes those on the aromantic spectrum but do not fully identify with the aromantic label. Despite these labels, it can be a struggle to determine one’s place on the aromantic

spectrum.

“What makes figuring out [my identity] so difficult is that I have no idea what I’m supposed to be looking for. With identities like gay, bisexual, and pansexual, it’s easier to figure it out because you feel attracted to people. That just isn’t the case for aros, and for me, it’s really hard to identify something that isn’t there,” Moskovitz said.

The struggle to find one’s identity on the aromantic spectrum may be further accentuated by the lack of visibility within the media.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen the media shine any light on aromanticism. I’ve seen a very small amount on asexuality in the past couple of years, but I’ve [never seen] any aromantic celebrities or popular characters,” Moskovitz said.

Those questioning their identity on the aromantic spectrum may feel isolated as a part of a marginalized group within the LGBTQ+ community. Because this community is underrepresented, knowing surrounding resources and reaching out to others can be helpful.

“To the best of your ability, try to seek out others who share your same identity, whether that’s attending groups through the Pride Center or talking with peers. There’s a lot of power in having a connection with others who share your same background, which can validate what you’re feeling and experiencing,” Golding said.

At Carlmont, the LGBTQ+ community is welcoming of all identities. Through the Gender Sexuality Alliance Club (GSA), one can find others they might relate to or can connect with.

“In GSA, we have a lot of fun and try to create a safe space for everyone,” said Claire Bing, the Vice President of GSA.

Because each identity is unique and individualized, both within the aromantic spectrum and the LGBTQ+ community altogether, it is vital as an ally to understand and support those on their journey.

“Being an ally is a verb. It’s something that you have to put effort and work into. You need to listen to those with more marginalized identities, but don’t expect them to have to educate you,” Golding said.

Ultimately, regardless of what identity one aligns with, it is essential to be aware of others’ identities, always support others, and most importantly, always support oneself.

“You are valid. Your existence is valid. You are not alone,” Golding said.

Green represents the aromantic spectrum, as green is the opposite of red, which traditionally signifies romance.

White represents the importance of platonic and other non-romantic love.

Black and gray represent the sexuality spectrum as a whole, as black is the combination of all colors, which addresses the diversity of the community.