Dear sophomore Phoebe

Two years ago, in January of 2020, you wrote me a letter to open during our senior year. This was prior to COVID-19, however, which you wouldn’t believe happened even if I told you. The past two years have been nothing close to what you expected, but they have nonetheless been your best periods of growth. You asked many surface-level questions about prom, field trips, and the summer before senior year. Unfortunately, a lot of events you were looking forward to never happened, and the phrase “postponed indefinitely” is something you’ll be very familiar with. Ultimately, online school gave you a much-needed break. Your busy academic and social lives were put on pause, and you had nothing to do but sit in your bedroom and think. You thought about your future and how nothing at this point was guaranteed. You thought about the ways you wanted to improve yourself and what it might take to finally get to the point of self-love. You thought about the people you surrounded yourself with and how strangely this new period of isolation made you happier. You were happier to be away from academic stress. You were happier to be away from constant self-doubt. You were happier to be away from people that were dragging you down.

You do not owe anything to those that make you feel in any way less of yourself. Cutting these people out of your life is not a sign of disrespect towards them but a far greater respect for yourself. I look back on you in amazement for your toleration and survival in such unhealthy relationships. It hurts to know that when writing me that letter, you already felt the weight they put on you. Just know that you remove it eventually, and you are allowed to be unforgiving. I am so proud of you for putting yourself first and making the hard decisions you made. Nothing has given you more freedom and happiness.

Coming back to school your senior year has been nothing short of a full-circle moment. You left sophomore year in a state of confusion, not knowing anything about college, relationships, or what might lie ahead. As I am entering my second semester of senior year, most of your questions have been answered. I have found a deep passion for journalism, which I intend to continue in college. I am so lucky to be surrounded by people who I love and who love me deeply. I would not wish to finish out my final years of adolescence with anyone else. Although these past years have been a whirlwind, remember that you are not alone. As crazy as it sounds, it’s okay to ask for help, and it’s not a sign of weakness to show that you are struggling. You finished your letter with one final question: “Phoebe, are you happy?”

Yes. I am in a place where I am so happy to be me, and I am so grateful for you. Without you, I would have never known my worth, and your experiences have taught me so much over the past two years. Take it one day at a time, be kind to yourself and to others, and know that you are worth far more than you know.