“Better” Ann Capps

3 BETTER

Ann Capps | 3rd Place

That day was the last day you called our house your home. If I had known, I’d have hugged you a little harder, held you to my heart, and felt it break with the knowledge of goodbye.

You had youth and the fre of desire for both adventure and a handsome boy. Late, we raced through the terminal to the gate, not knowing that the tether wouldn’t loosen over time but would be quickly cut whether I wanted it to or not. Perhaps it was better that way.

Preparing for your departure would have been like anticipating pain – seeing the needle before the shot. Your frst summer season of independence led to a long autumn away. I missed you deeply, yet discreetly, only half-hiding the pain that pummeled my heart. Over time, I accepted and admitted your adventure had led to lasting love.

Our home will always be your home, and even though I hadn’t known our summer farewell would be a goodbye. There’s blessing in the not-knowing, a soul-saving, a sort of sorcery so parents don’t fall apart.