Helping young people become ‘active citizens’

Helping young people become ‘active citizens’ who contribute to society

We all need help at some point in our lives to build relationships, explore and understand issues, to make choices, to decide on action and live with the consequences. Children are given a circle of people who can help; parents, teachers, relatives. Adults choose their circle of close friends and use it except when they need specialist help, for example, a doctor. Adolescents are in between the two stages. They may be rejecting the helpers given to them but they have not yet chosen their own. Young people may seek help from their fellow adolescents or they may choose an adult, for example, a Scouter. The adult chosen is usually someone who has been genuinely interested in them as people, friendly and available, a good listener and helpful when dealing with life’s challenges.

Some adults think they have a responsibility to direct and give advice, for example, ‘What you ought to do is…’ They believe that from their experience of life or their ability to see issues clearly they are in a good position to make judgments and pass them on, for example, ‘If I were you I would…’ There may be situations when there is little alternative to this approach, for example, in an emergency situation while hiking. However, in other situations adopting such an approach has difficulties. The adult must remember they are not in the young person’s shoes. There may be hidden personal factors the adult does not know about. The adult cannot be sure of all the feelings and issues involved. Advice is always second-hand and as a result may be unsatisfactory or indeed wrong.

An alternative way is to avoid imposing solutions or giving ready-made answers, but instead to help the other person to look at the situation from every point of view, to understand their own feelings, to weigh up alternatives, and to make their own judgment about the action to be taken. This helping of a person to look at situations fully and honestly, to think them through and to make his own decisions can be described as coaching

The word coaching is used in a variety of senses, but the principles involved are generally the same. The ideas which follow are an introduction to the topic and an outline of some of these principles. We are not thinking here of helping people who may have severe problems or personality disorders but rather a kind of personal first aid.

Most young people do not need long term help. They do need, and sometimes desperately as they journey through adolescence, the comfort of a good listener and a chance to sort out their ideas in the presence of an experienced and emotionally uninvolved adult. For some young people a Scouter may be that person.

The Scouter may be asked directly for help or the Scouter may feel it is necessary. Generally, it is better to be on the look out for ‘invitations’ to assist than burst in on the young person because you feel it is necessary. Such invitations may be a sudden change in mood or behavior, for example. There are typically two main types of situation where coaching may be required. Firstly a young person may be confused and does not know what to do about a particular issue. They worried, undecided and uncertain about what to do. Secondly, they may have made a snap decision about an issue in anger, worry or confusion. These hasty decisions are made without thought of the consequences, which need to be dealt with.

The kind of personal first aid being described here is not about sitting in a room or lying on a couch. It is just a likely to occur on the side of a hill without announcement. Many Scouters will already typically respond intuitively and counsel successfully without fully appreciating what they are doing.

If the topic discussed is an individual, private matter you should talk in a place where there will be few interruptions. Try to make the young person feel calm and relaxed. Each person is different; some people will be quick to talk about their problems; some will be straightforward and come right to the point; others may wander around the issue. Each problem and each Scouter will be different also. This makes the idea of coaching difficult. It cannot be done according to a list of questions. There are only general guidelines and principles which must be adapted to the person, the situation and the Scouter.