Helping young people become ‘active citizens’ who contribute to society We all need help at some point in our lives to build relationships, explore and understand issues, to make choices, to decide on action and live with the consequences. Children are given a circle of people who can help; parents, teachers, relatives. Adults choose their circle of close friends and use it except when they need specialist help, for example, a doctor. Adolescents are in between the two stages. They may be rejecting the helpers given to them but they have not yet chosen their own. Young people may seek help from their fellow adolescents or they may choose an adult, for example, a Scouter. The adult chosen is usually someone who has been genuinely interested in them as people, friendly and available, a good listener and helpful when dealing with life’s challenges. Some adults think they have a responsibility to direct and give advice, for example, ‘What you ought to do is…’ They believe that from their experience of life or their ability to see issues clearly they are in a good position to make judgments and pass them on, for example, ‘If I were you I would…’ There may be situations when there is little alternative to this approach, for example, in an emergency situation while hiking. However, in other situations adopting such an approach has difficulties. The adult must remember they are not in the young person’s shoes. There may be hidden personal factors the adult does not know about. The adult cannot be sure of all the feelings and issues involved. Advice is always second-hand and as a result may be unsatisfactory or indeed wrong.
judgment about the action to be taken. This helping of a person to look at situations fully and honestly, to think them through and to make his own decisions can be described as coaching The word coaching is used in a variety of senses, but the principles involved are generally the same. The ideas which follow are an introduction to the topic and an outline of some of these principles. We are not thinking here of helping people who may have severe problems or personality disorders but rather a kind of personal first aid. Most young people do not need long term help. They do need, and sometimes desperately as they journey through adolescence, the comfort of a good listener and a chance to sort out their ideas in the presence of an experienced and emotionally uninvolved adult. For some young people a Scouter may be that person.
An alternative way is to avoid imposing solutions or giving ready-made answers, but instead to help the other person to look at the situation from every point of view, to understand their own feelings, to weigh up alternatives, and to make their own
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