Heartmend Spell (or, Sadlibs) This Is Just To Say

By AJ Jolish ’25 Staff Writer

1

Make sure it has been at least _____ (number of minutes) since the moment of the wreckage. Take a shallow breath. Heave a shallow sigh.

Feel _____ (emotion, productive) even though you will not want to.

Resist the urge to _____ (verb, unproductive) even though it will be so very tempting.

Remember _____ (memory, fond). Don’t remember _____ (memory, unfond).

Make a list. Make _____ (your favorite food). Make your bed.

Make up a different world where this never happened. Then unmake it.

2 Listen to _____ (your favorite song). Listen to _____ (advice, well- meaning).

Try _____ (home remedy). Try _____ (sport you’ve never liked). Try _____ (religion). Try again. If you call _____ (past love), hang up after the _____ (ordinal number) ring. Don’t think about rings.

3

Start _____ (something you’ve always wanted to do).

Act like _____ (someone you’ve always wanted to be).

Remember _____ (a dream from your past).

Imagine _____ (a dream for your future).

Make sure to say the magic words:

By Nina Howe-Goldstein ’25 SAS Event Coordinator, Occasional Poet

I have strung up the plastic skeletons that were in the decoration kit for Apocalypse Party and which you were probably hoping I would hang literally any other way Forgive me they were $5.99 each on postHalloween clearance sale so distastefully displayed from those weird naked trees outside Malott and so skeleton-y

Across Down

7. Danny, Jesse, and Joey raise D.J., Stephanie, and Michelle in San Francisco

10. The Bluth family is thrown into chaos when George Bluth Sr. is sent to prison

12. A bright-eyed school teacher moves in with four men

14. Dre, Rainbow, Zoey, Junior, Diane, Jack, and Deontre

15. Winner of this Heist is named the ‘ultimate detective slash genius’

19. 2023 Golden Globes Best Comedy winner starring a mostly Black cast

20. Classic 50s sitcom starring Lucille Ball

21. “Troy and Abed in the ____”

24. Creator, producer, writer and star of Abbott Elementary

27. Government change can happen in this sitcom starring Amy Poehler

28. 90s sitcom following a group of six people in their 20s in New York

29. Colombian American Actress who plays Gloria Delegato-Pritchet

1. Deputy Parks Director of Pawnee, IN

2. Mockumentary following the employees of a paper company in Scranton, PA

3. Tonight is going to be _________- wait for it- _____

4. An unlikely group comes together to study for their Spanish class at Greendale Community College

5. “Don’t ______ the B**** in Apartment 23”

6. Show following Eric Forman and friends

8. Show following a blended extended family

9. There is always money in the ____ stand

11. Police show set in New York poking fun at police dramas, _________ 99

13. Show following Ted Mosby and friends

16. Show following Zack Morris and friends in the 90s at Bayside High School

17. 30 ______, show starring Tina Fey and Alec Baldwin as they put on a live show every week

18. Show written and produced by Kenya Barish based on his own Black family

22. Paper company that Micheal Scott manages

23. Drinking game played in apartment 4D, game starts with the chant, 1, 2, 3,

4, JFK, FDR

25. Liz Lemon is the head writer and producer of

26. “So no one ever told you life was gonna be this _____”

27. Magnitude’s catchphrase