Issue 64
I have recently returned from a conference, where we were asked to complete some homework before hand. We had to interview three children and ask them these questions: • What is the best thing about being a child? What is the hardest? • If you could change one BIG thing in your community — or in the world — what would that be? • What do you think that God is like? What do you think that He would like to say to us? What would you like to say to Him? I think they’re great questions…. You might like to ask some children you know and see what their responses are. I must mention that a BIG thing one of my interviewees would change would be the inclusion of flying cars to Auckland to ease our traffic congestion. Genius! This issue of the WAY2GO mag will explore one approach to the topic of answering children’s questions. This is a huge topic so it comes with a disclaimer is this: this edition of the WAY2GO mag will not answer all tricky questions children have about life, faith and the Bible. However, I trust that this issue may be a springboard for further thinking. Annette Osborne SUNZ Children’s Ministry Consultant
Questions are important. They open up conversation, they allow for differing opinions, they grow faith! Yes, they grow faith. Children and adults alike have questions we wrestle with. If we are allowed to wrestle with them in a healthy way, with good support, then our faith is strengthened. If we are shut down, or told not to ask our questions, the questions remain but we simply tuck them away until a later time.
Recently, I came across this quote in a book ‘Children in the Bible’ by Anne Richards. I thought it was beautiful! So, I’m sharing it with you, as well as four things we can learn coming from it.
In 2011, the journalist Alex Renton wrote an article about how his six-year old daughter wanted to ask God ‘who invented you?’ Renton himself did not feel able to help with the questions, or indeed, how to go about asking God, so he sent the enquiry to various churches, including the Church of England at Lambeth Palace in London. A little while later, Lulu received a letter from Dr Rowan Williams, who was then Archbishop of Canterbury. It read: Dear Lulu, Your dad has sent on your letter and asked if I have any answers. It’s a difficult one! But I think God might reply a bit like this – ‘Dear Lulu – Nobody invented me – but lots of people discovered me and were quite surprised. They discovered me when they look round at the world and thought it was really beautiful or really mysterious and wondered where it came from. They discovered me when they were very very quiet on their own and felt a sort of peace and love they hadn’t expected. Then they invented ideas about me - some of them sensible and some of them not very sensible. From time to time I sent them some hints – especially in the life of Jesus – to help them get closer to what I’m really like. But there was nothing and nobody around before me to invent me. Rather like somebody who writes a story in a book, I started making up the story of the world and eventually invented human beings like you who could ask me awkward questions!’ And then he’d send you lots of love and sign off. I know he doesn’t usually write letters, so I have to do the best I can on his behalf. Lots of love from me too. + Archbishop Rowan 1 1
Children in the Bible: A Fresh Approach, by Anne Richards
Wh ans
y ow e
I imagine this letter arriving at Lulu’s house. I imagine Lulu and her dad sitting down with a cup of hot chocolate to read the letter together. I imagine it starting a great conversation between this girl and her father.
What a wonderful gift. This letter by Rowan Williams reveals a helpful approach to asking and answering questions with children. Here are just a few points that we can take and use:
Notice that neither the father nor Rowan Williams dismiss her.
Phone a friend.
There is something playful about this letter, while still being respectful to the depth of the question.
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Rowan Williams portrays God as deeply interested in what Lulu has to ask and caring about her.
I like to imagine that this one letter was the catalyst to lots more questions for Lulu. I like to imagine she became a confident question-asker, secure in knowing that God listens and cares about her questions.
Faith4Families produces some great resources — you may know the Faith Box material. Their newest resource Faith Talk Triggers is great for exploring questions with teens! Here’s Nancy Green to tell us about it: Would you rather have lots of good friends or just one who knows you inside out?” Would you rather have gold coins come out of your mouth every time you talk, or speak normally?”
How would your teen answer the above questions? Having faith conversations can be a conundrum for families. Many parents aren’t aware of their teenagers’ beliefs, doubts, desires or struggles. ‘Would you rather…’ questions are a great way to get teens talking — they captivate the imagination, allow a variety of answers and invite amplification. Also effective are open-ended questions, such as ‘What two things do you value most in a friend?’, and asking their opinion: ‘What do you think “friends love through all kinds of weather” (Proverbs 17:17, The Message) means?’ Faith4Families’ new Faith Talk Triggers use them all. There are 40 cards on topics such as friendship, money and temptation to encourage stimulating discussion and allow teenagers to: • nut out faith and apply God’s truth • bounce up against loving adults • develop their own faith while negotiating their world
‘Some subjects haven’t come up before and highlight things our kids are dealing with that we didn’t know. The Take-away wraps things up nicely. Just what we needed!’ RB ‘Our boys take turns running the discussions and rarely want to stop.’ KH Let’s engage teens with good questions and Bible verses that relate so they develop spiritual understanding while they are still here, in our cars, dining rooms and youth groups. To get your own user-friendly pack, visit www.faith4families.org