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8 minute read
In Praise of Perseverance
Gale and Patrick Dilger honor the memory of beloved family members while supporting Southern students.
EACH SPRING, MORE THAN 50 PEOPLE GATHER NEAR ALEXANDRA’S GARDEN, a peaceful oasis in the backyard of Patrick and Gale Dilger’s home in Deep River, Conn.
The garden, which houses a birdhouse and several statues (including a sweet cat with angel wings), honors the memory of the couple’s extraordinary daughter Alexandra, who passed in 2018. It’s an inspiring location for the annual Alexandra Dilger Awards Ceremony, which for the past five years has celebrated young adults who are neurodiverse and striving for greater independence while reaching for their dreams.
In 2024, Southern senior Dejon Knight was one of eight honorees. Knight, who was born with cerebral palsy, is well on his way to achieving his goal of earning a bachelor’s degree. (We’ll share more of his story later.)
In 2022, the Dilgers also established the John A. and Teresa Dilger Endowed Scholarship at Southern in honor of Patrick’s parents. The scholarship benefits undergraduate and graduate students with preference given to first-generation college students.
It’s a population that’s near and dear to the couple’s hearts. Gale’s father owned a television repair shop and didn’t attend college. But her mother, a longtime teacher, earned a college degree. “I am so grateful they could send all three of us to college,” says Gale, who has two brothers and has worked with children with special needs for the past 12 years as a paraprofessional at Essex Elementary School. “College isn’t for everyone. But our family strongly believes it can be a life-changing opportunity for those who choose it.”
Patrick echoes this sentiment, noting that the scholarship is an ideal way to honor his parents, John and Teresa: “My parents did not have access to higher education.”
Raised in New Zealand, Patrick is a first-generation college student, like 57 percent of Southern students today. For nearly three decades, he’s served as director of Southern’s Office of Integrated Communications & Marketing — guiding the department’s transition from mailed press releases to the launch of the university’s website and rise of social media.
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Through it all, Southern, with its mission of access and upward mobility, has held true to its support of first-generation students. “Learning about these students’ challenges and triumphs and sharing their stories of perseverance has been a constant throughout my career,” he says.
In direct contrast, his father John never had the opportunity to attend college. The second eldest of nine siblings, he was raised in Ennis, a small town on the West Coast of Ireland. John was forced to quit school around age 13 following the death of his father. He held a variety of jobs — from busboy to golf caddy to laborer — before traveling to England, where he joined the railroad.
Some six years later, John booked passage on an immigrant ship bound for Australia and ultimately made his way to New Zealand. There, John met his future wife Teresa at a dance. A high school graduate, she worked as a hairdresser then became a secretary. “They were a great couple, married for 56 years,” says Patrick.
He is the couple’s only child, raised in a modest but comfortable, loving home in Auckland, New Zealand’s largest city. “My dad told me I could be anything I wanted as long as I didn’t work for the railroad,” he says with a laugh.
Patrick earned an undergraduate degree in history and English at the University of Auckland and, with the support of a Rotary Foundation Scholarship, pursued a graduate degree in journalism in the U.S. at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill.
“My parents flew halfway round the world to attend my graduation at UNC, and my mother had to give up her job to do that, because her employer wouldn’t give her the time off. I remember telling my parents, this diploma is for you,” he says.
Patrick and Gale met at a New Year’s Eve party, sealing his decision to remain in the U.S. The couple, who raised two sons, Jonathan and Michael, alongside Alexandra, celebrated their 34th wedding anniversary in 2024. They recently welcomed their first grandchild, Jaxson, to the fold.
Patrick's career has long centered on higher education. After covering the higher education beat for the New Haven Register, he came to Southern where his responsibilities include shared oversight of Southern’s graduation ceremonies.
“I love being at commencement, seeing the joy of the parents and the graduates when they go up to get their degrees,” says Patrick. “It’s my favorite day, and it always reminds me of my parents.”
One student’s big dream
Dejon Knight is among the many Southern seniors who has graduation in sight, and a grant from the Alexandra Dilger Award Fund is helping him make the most of his final semesters. The fund, managed in collaboration with the Community Foundation of Middlesex County, provides individual grants of up to several thousand dollars. Knight is the first Southern student to receive the award, which benefits young adults who are neurodiverse and striving to achieve a particular goal. Past grants have funded items and services including assistive technology, tutoring, online art classes, adaptive driving lessons, and specialized tools and equipment.
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The awards aptly reflect Alexandra’s own persistence and determination. She attended Landmark College in Vermont and lived a rich and fulfilling life despite personal challenges with depression and anxiety. Alexandra was planning to study abroad in Botswana and hoped to attend graduate school. Her passions included “animals great and small,” independent film, art, travel, and literature (from graphic novels to the works of Kafka and Dostoevsky).
“Our daughter was a young woman of very eclectic interests. She had a beautiful mind and a tender heart,” says Patrick.
The family often planned vacations around her literary interests. Alexandra famously read James Joyce’s Ulysses in its entirety in five days while visiting Dublin.
“We had wonderful trips,” says Gale. “We were so proud of her, because life could be very challenging, and she did struggle. . . . But she persevered and was able to get on the plane, see new places, and explore so many interests.”
Dejon Knight, who was born with cerebral palsy, shares Alexandra’s determination. “He is very independent, an extrovert who loves talking to people and being involved with the campus community,” says Carol Stewart, professor of management and director of student affairs for the School of Business.
Knight came to Southern in fall 2023, after earning an associate degree from Gateway Community College. At Southern, he’s majoring in general studies with a focus on business and is fully immersed in the college experience. He’s a residence hall adviser as well as the manager of the Owls men’s basketball team.
Challenges remain, but Knight and Stewart, who is also his academic adviser, are working to overcome them. They successfully applied to Southern’s Division of Student Affairs for a grant to buy a scooter to make it easier for Knight to crisscross campus. His grant from the Alexandra Dilger Award Fund purchased a MacBook Air, which provides critical academic support.
"It was really humbling and eye opening how much this award helped me," says Knight. He credits the grant-funded computer with helping him finish assignments more quickly while enhancing learning.
“He has blossomed academically and gotten very good grades,” sums Stewart.
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The previous spring, both Stewart and Knight attended the Alexandra Dilger Fund Awards Ceremony at the Dilgers’ home. There, Patrick presented each of the eight recipients with a certificate. He also highlighted each of the honorees’ many achievements. For some, it was the first public confirmation of their success — an acknowledgement that can be truly life-changing.
“Families are so proud. It brings our hearts such joy,” says Gale.
Many of the grant recipients share plans to ultimately support the community. A woman with dyslexia is on track to become a special education teacher. Knight hopes to build a career advocating for people with disabilities in the athletics field. “So many great stories come out,” says Patrick. “You meet these young people who strive, overcome the odds, and succeed. It’s wonderful to be a small part of that.” ■
MAKE A GIFT to the John A. and Teresa Dilger Endowed Scholarship at SouthernCT.edu/giving/ways-to-give
Please designate your contribution as “Dilger” in the check memo section or online to support this fund.