4 minute read
EVERYDAY RAPE
from TAG 2022
Whether you have heard it a thousand times or never before, understanding the normalisation of rape culture is extremely important.
When reading about sexual assault (or SA), the comment section can be a minefield. People often say that rape culture is fictional. a so-called slogan made to shame men or make rape seem like a big deal. But it is.
Usually, we can easily dismiss these comments as online trolls with nothing better to do than invalidate others: Though something didn’t sit right with us. We realise that some just don’t understand what rape culture is. Maybe you don’t. And If you don’t, that’s okay. Tag Mag explores some of the key issues.
What is it? Have you heard?
First, this culture treats rape as a problem to be solved. Victims (often presumed to be female or feminine) are told to alter their behaviour rather than those who commit rape (often perceived as male or masculine). We understand that this attitude can be damaging and wrong.
Below are some views which contribute to rape culture. How many have you heard of?
Firstly, the easy bit. ‘Rape’ is an act of sexual penetration of the vagina, anus or mouth of another person without consent. No ifs, no buts, no consent.
‘Culture’ is the things that a group of people or a country commonly do together over prolonged periods. This might range from the arts to education to food. You could say British culture is old poems, university and baked beans. Sometimes, it can be uncomfortable to link sexual violence with that concept.
We all know that our society doesn’t outwardly promote rape. We don’t walk down the street and see posters encouraging us to commit it. But the attitude is still there.
When we talk about rape culture, we mean cultural practices that excuse or otherwise tolerate sexual violence which can include victim-blaming. We are talking about the way that we collectively think about sexual violence. More often than not, it is situations in which these assaults are ignored, trivialised, normalised or made into jokes. And this happens a lot. Every day. And it is dangerous.
Cover up!
You might’ve heard of the “personal responsibility” argument. For example, women are told not to go out late and drink or cover up. Although many still take these measures to stay safe, this puts pressure on women and not on rapists. Clothes, drinking and staying out late is not consent. No one is asking for it.
It’s your fault!
When people ask questions like “What were they doing there?” or “How drunk were they?”, it implies that SA is likely in certain situations. Again, these questions normalise rape and blame victims. We do not hold rapists and attackers accountable as a society. In fact, in an independent survey, we found that 82% of teens had been assaulted or harassed. If we don’t start holding the offenders accountable, that number will only continue to rise!
They finally said yes!
Say that you are at a party and see someone you want to take home. You ask to go, but they say no. So you ask again and again. Until you persuade them. Well, shocking as it might seem, that is harassment. Coercion is the act of persuading or pressuring someone to do something until they say yes. We need to learn about consent and how no means no because pressure does not equal consent. Don’t keep asking again and again if you get turned down. You’re embarrassing yourself and hurting someone else.
Basically, the rapist is to blame, and we need to understand that.
Be the Change
Tag spoke to Helen Ding, the safeguarding manager from East Sussex College, about her thoughts on rape culture.
Why do you think rape culture is so normalized?
“Life appears to be being sexualised; everything is about sex these days. There is an expectation that sexual interactions are the just thing that happens. I feel that physical touch is an expectation in several ways. It no longer feels inappropriate to touch someone in a personal way without consent.
How can teens help end rape culture?
“Peer to peer learning is super important. I recommend talking to your friends. If you hear a mate say something inappropriate – call them out! Point out to your friends when they do something or say something unacceptable. Maybe they didn’t know it was wrong. You could help them. But most importantly, stop blaming victims for being assaulted.
Why is educating yourself on rape important?
“It helps you support your friends. It helps understand what consent really means. Consent should only be given freely, loudly and happily. Consent cannot be given if you are drunk, asleep, coerced or silent.”
What next?
We at Tag challenge you to talk. Talk to your friends. Talk to your family. Talk to your teachers.
Healing really will begin once you start to confront your feelings. If you need to reach out, call 0808 802 9999. This is the number for Rape Crisis and can help you support a friend, learn more and report your case. Don’t stay silent.
Rachel Lucas Design: George Walker Photography: Joe Grinstead
FURTHER INFORMATION
Call NHS 111 or get help from 111 online The police, or dial 101 In an emergency, dial 999 The 24-hour freephone National Domestic Abuse Helpline, run by Refuge, on 0808 2000 247 The Rape Crisis national freephone helpline on 0808 802 9999 (12 to 2.30pm and 7 to 9.30pm every day of the year) Mankind UK: 01273 911680 www.mkcharity.org/
