Seacoast Scene 3-7-19

MARCH 7 - 20, 2019

Spring beer Local brewers talk about what’s on tap

A WORD FROM LARRY

Master McGrath’s

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Rte. 107 Seabrook NH

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On March 23, Hampton Rotary will celebrate its 50th anniversary (though the actual date of inception is March 22). The club was chartered in 1969 and the Exeter Rotary Club was Larry Marsolais its sponsor.

The celebration takes place at The Atlantic Grill in Rye, where more than 100 people are expected and everyone will be honoring the Rotary’s 50 years of service to our community and the world. There will be a buffet dinner, entertainment and special awards, and New Hampshire Governor Chris Sununu will be the guest speaker. Fifty years is amazing, and the

club has had 50 different presidents! All 50 presidents will have a picture and a short write up of their year on display.

I am chairing this great event and I want to take this time to thank my outstanding committee. For more information please check us out at HamptonRotary.org.

From all of us at the Scene, congratulations!

As always feel free to call me anytime at 603-935-5096 to discuss local issues or to place an ad Larry Marsolais is the general manager of the Seacoast Scene and the former president of the Hampton Rotary Club.

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Larry Marsolais Seacoast Scene General Manager 603-935-5096 larry@seacoastscene.net

Editorial Staff Editor Meghan Siegler editor@seacoastscene.net Editorial Design Laura Young and Tristan Collins Contributors Rob Levey, Michael Witthaus, Matt Ingersoll, Jeff Mucciarone, Caleb Jagoda, Allison Willson Dudas

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VOL 44 NO 5

Advertising Staff

SATURDAY Breakfast from 8am-2pm Full Menu Available at Noon

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MARCH 7 - 20, 2019

Unsolicited submissions are not accepted and will not be returned or acknowledged.

Unsolicited submissions will be destroyed.

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COVER STORY 6 Spring beer

MAPPED OUT 12 Beaches, restrooms, where to walk your dog and more

PEOPLE & PLACES 13 The coolest Seacoast dwellers and scenes

FOOD 18 Eateries and foodie events

POP CULTURE 22 Books, art, theater and classical

NITE LIFE 24 Music, comedy and more

BEACH BUM FUN 26 Puzzles, horoscopes and crazy news Your weekly guide to the coast.

Published every Thursday (1st copy free; 2nd $1).

Seacoast Scene PO Box 961 Hampton NH 03843 603-935-5096 | www.seacoastscene.net

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4 SHORE THINGS

EVENTS TO CHECK OUT MARCH 7 - 20, 2019, AND BEYOND Gourd painting

Gourd painting classes are being offered by Hampton Arts Network artist Leah Reed. Make an Easter bunny candy dish March 13 at the Tuck Building from 1 to 4 p.m. The fee is $35.

Make gourd Easter eggs March 13 at Atlantic Heights from 10 a.m. to noon or March 27 at Merrill’s Market from 6 to 8 p.m. The fee is $20. RSVP to Leah at blue@bluewhalarts.com or call 603-679-1961.

Research your old house

The Hampton Falls Free Library presents Researching Your Old House on Thursday, March 7, at 6:30 p.m. Join N.H. Preservation Alliance’s Andrew Cushing as he explores tools, tricks, and tips for researching your old house. Using a combination of sources anyone can start to assemble a fuller picture of their house’s history. The program is free and open to the public.

Meet Fabien Cousteau

Cider and bites

Grown-ups are invited to the Children’s Museum of New Hampshire for an evening of hard cider sampling. This 21+ event will feature tastings of four all-natural hard ciders provided by North Country Hard Cider, based in Rollinsford. Included in the ticket price are four-ounce pours of cider, paired with tasty bites from local restaurants. Discounted advance online tickets are $20 per person through March 24; $25 from March 25 – March 29 or $30 at the door if the event has not sold out. Designated driver tickets are also available for $15 and include non-alcoholic beverages and food tastings.

Visit childrens-museum.org

Famed explorer Fabien Cousteau will be at the Seacoast Science Center in Rye on Saturday, March 9, at 3 p.m for a talk and signing of his new children’s book, Fabien Cousteau Expeditions: Great White Shark Adventure. This event is free though registration is required as seating is limited. Due to high demand, there will be an overflow space with a live video feed of the presentation. All attendees will have the chance to participate in the Q&A and meet Fabien, get books signed and have photos taken. Copies of the book will be for sale at the event. Doors open at 2:30 p.m. For more information or to sign up to attend, call Water Street Bookstore at 603778-9731 or email info@waterstreetbooks.com.

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Spring

beer

By Rob Levey

Spring is around the corner, which means it’s the perfect time to crack open a lighter beer and bid farewell to winter.

But is there such a thing as a spring beer?

Breweries from the greater Seacoast area weigh in on what they think of as spring beers and what they’ll have on tap as the season changes.

SPRING BEER?

At Bad Lab Beer Co. in Somersworth, General Manager Evan Eppler said spring provides the opportunity to “dive back into lighter beer styles in both color and body.”

“Come spring, we will start to empha-

Garrison City Beer Works of Dover. Courtesy photo.

size approachable, crisper, lighter beers in our brewing schedule — but will round out our offerings with a few brown ales, saisons and IPAs,” he said.

As for actual changes in consumer preferences in the spring — or any season for that matter — Eppler said the answer is less predictable than you might think.

“Being creatures of habit, a lot of people stick to what they know and enjoy those types of beer year-round,” he said. “We try to accommodate many different palates.”

Some beers tend to remain popular throughout the year. He said the baking spice from the Belgian yeast and bitter

SEACOAST SCENE | MARCH 7 - 20, 2019 | PAGE 6

orange peel in their Trillion Lights Belgian Witbier allow it to work well as a winter beer. But even when patio season comes along, he said, it remains a fan favorite.

“Similarly, we have quite a demand for stouts in the summer despite darker beer varieties commonly being associated with colder months,” Eppler said.

Still, at Throwback Brewery in North Hampton, co-founder and President Nicole Carrier said they routinely see people order fewer darker and heavy-bodied beers in the spring. She said their customers tend to ask for more lighter-bodied, crisper beers.

“We see people ordering more Pilsner,

hefeweizen, Belgian Whites — or Wits — and saisons,” she noted. “These are lighter-drinking, more refreshing beers that go nicely with warmer temperatures.”

This trend is also seen at BareWolf Brewing in Amesbury.

“We see malt-forward beers like porters and stouts get more popular in winter and lighter, ‘hoppy-er’ beers are more popular in summer,” said co-owner Paul Wyeth.

Nicole Gray, owner and brewer of Garrison City Beerworks in Dover, said she feels that certain beers in spring serve as “a wake-up and reminder of warmer weather and sunnier days.”

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B R OW N S

SEABROOK LOBSTER POUND

Garrison City Beer Works. Courtesy photo.

“Spring beers should feature bright colors, be lighter-bodied [and] oftentimes having fruit additions, really anything refreshing, to steer away from the winter stouts and browns,” she said.

Noting there is “definitely a down-turn in darker beers” during the warmer months, Gray said they still make their favorite styles year-round regardless of weather.

“We’ll have goses and Pilsners throughout the year, not just during warmer times,” she said.

She did acknowledge, though, that consumers generally start to move toward crisper, lighter and more fruity as the winter starts to fade. But IPAs tend to maintain their popularity.

“The IPA craze is year-round at this point, so there’s not much fluctuation with anything hoppy,” she said. “They fit just about every occasion.”

Bob Crockett, head brewer at Sea Dog Brewing Co. in Bangor, Maine, with a new location in Exeter, said he likes to think of spring beers as “more floral and aromatic.”

“It’s lighter in color — anything to get you thinking about warmer weather,” he said.

According to Crockett, warmer weather tends to get their clientele trending toward their Bluepaw Blueberry Wheat Ale and Sunfish Wheat Ale, which features peach and grapefruit.

Still, like Eppler, not all brewers are sold on the idea of such a thing as a beer for spring.

“I would argue that until we hit midsummer temperatures that there isn’t really a difference in our customers’ preference,” said Dave Yarrington, brewer at Chapel + Main in Dover. “I’d say temperature is less of an influence than time of day, what food they’re having or general mood they’re in.”

Alex Weaver, communications director at Smuttynose Brewing Co. in Hampton, said he feels the term “better,” when applied to any craft beer, is somewhat subjective.

“One person’s favorite could be another’s drain-pour,” he said. “For us, it’s 8

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Food pairings Of course, a great spring beer deserves equally great food alongside it, which Carrier said makes her think of spring vegetables that grow well in New Hampshire like asparagus, fiddleheads, garlic scapes, mint and green onions.

“If you are sautéing asparagus and finishing it with a bright and lemony hollandaise sauce, I would pair it with a wheat beer, something like our Hog Happy Hefeweizen,” she said.

Spring also tends to serve as the beginning of grill season.

“If you are grilling your asparagus, then I

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would pair that with an American Brown Ale like our Dippity Do,” said Carrier.

“The caramely, roasty notes of the beer pair quite well with charred flavors of grilled vegetables.”

For those who enjoy a Kölsch-style beer, Eppler made several pairing suggestions.

“We recommend oysters, fish and chips, or a spring salad for a range of delightful and surprising pairings,” he said.

For food with spring beers, Gray said it is all about “keeping it light.”

“Local meats and cheeses or poke bowls are great,” she said.

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7 all about offering a variety of highquality beers across a spectrum of tastes, textures, aromas and styles.”

Like some of the other brewers, Weaver said some of their most popular spring beers are not necessarily made just for spring.

“We still see a ton of love for beers like Old Brown Dog, our award-winning brown ale, and Finestkind IPA, a hop-forward, classic IPA clocking in at 6.9 percent [ABV], no matter the season,” he said.

Referring to New Hampshire as “an outdoor playground year-round,” Weaver added, “Spring is just another excuse to get outside with your favorite beer in hand and see what adventure lies around the next corner.”

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Regardless of whether there really is such a thing as a spring beer, local brewers all release special brews in celebration of the changing seasons.

At BareWolf Brewing, Wyeth said they recently introduced their newest barrel-aged beer, Innoculate Conception American Wild Red Ale. He described it as a tart, dry, mixed-culture red ale. It is aged in cabernet sauvignon barrels for one year, refermented on raspberries and blackberries, and features “a copious dose of pure Vermont maple syrup.”

“It’s blended into our American oak vat, Foeder Dostoyevsky, for an additional maturation,” he added.

An offshoot brand of Smuttynose Brewing Co., Smuttlabs, which focuses on rotating limited-edition beers, just released Lady Stardust, a galactic NEIPA with strong notes of citrus and candied grapefruit. Baja Hoodie, a Mexican lager, will be released in April or May. “Those beers, combined with our beloved Vunderbar Pilsner, Summer IPA and Cherry Sour, round out our offerings

for this spring,” said Weaver.

This spring, Bad Lab Beer Co. will have fresh batches of their Brown Ale, Black IPA and Cocheco IPA in steady rotation for distribution and to enjoy on-site at their brew pub. Eppler said they also plan to release their first saison and gose in April.

“We are also excited to be teaming up with the Woodman Museum in Dover to collaborate on a spring beer release,” he said. “It will help to raise funds for the restoration of a Civil War cannon in their collection and likely to be ‘sessionable’ and hop-forward.”

At Sea Dog Brewing Co.’s Exeter location this spring, Crockett said, they will offer Peelin’ Out Pale Ale, which is an American-style pale ale. It is brewed with lemon peel and late hop additions of Chinook and Columbus that produce a 10 Irish eats & events St. Patrick’s Day is just around the corner, so some food pairings in March may mean traditional Irish fare, which Chef Pat Armstrong said will be the case at Sea Dog Brewing Co. “Some of the specials we will feature for brunch that day include corned beef hash and eggs, Scotch eggs, Irish Benedicts, potato pancakes and more,” he said. “For the weekend we will have traditional Irish specials like boiled dinners and bangers and mash as well as some non-traditional Irish dishes thrown in the mix.”

At Throwback Brewery this March, Carrier said they will again feature an Irish Red Ale, which pairs well with classic Irish foods like cheddar, Shepherd’s Pie, Boiled dinner, and Irish stew.

On Saturday, March 16, from noon until 10 p.m at BareWolf Brewing, Wyeth said, a blowout St. Patrick’s Day party will feature live music from 7 to 9 p.m and a Metzy’s pop-up with Irish-themed tacos from 5 to 8 p.m.

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8 crisp hop profile with a citrus finish.

“Coming soon, we will offer Railway Red Ale, an Irish-style red ale with a solid malt backbone and a smooth, mellow hop profile,” he added. “As the weather warms, Summer Ale will follow.”

March is maple season, which Carrier said has always inspired them at Throwback Brewery.

“We always like to have available our Maple-Kissed Wheat Porter in early spring,” she said.

On March 24, Carrier said, they will host Maple Madness, at which they will offer several new beers, including a French Toast Cream Ale. “We are also going to offer a Bourbon Maple Barrel-Aged Red IPA and a Chocolate Maple Stout on cask,” said Carrier, who noted they will roll out their Rhubarb Wit in May. “It is super drinkable, a bit tart, and has very pleasant citrusy and lemon flavors that also pairs quite well with spring vegetables.”

In mid to late March, Chapel + Main will release a Traditional Bock beer, brewed especially for the annual Bockfest, which takes place on Saturday, March 30, at Liar’s Bench Beer Co. in Portsmouth.

At Garrison City Beerworks, Gray said, they feature a few favorites that come around in spring, one of which includes their house gose. “[It’s] our soured take on a tradition-

al German salty wheat beer that rotates through four iterations with the seasons,” she said. “Our spring version is fruited with blackberries, highlighting a bright pink color and refreshing fruit sourness.”

She said they also make Parfait once a year, in the spring.

“It’s a peach rhubarb lactose sour, so it features lots of fruit and cream notes up front with a refreshing tang finish,” she said.

Gray said they are also excited about two new beers. The first is Fiscal Irresponsibility, a heavily dry-hopped New England-style Double IPA tentatively planned for release at the end of March.

“Picture intense haziness and an overabundance of tropical fruit,” she said.

The second is Exit Music, which she described as “the complete opposite of a spring libation.”

“It’ll be a huge 10.5-percent chocolaty and rich Imperial Stout due out in early April,” she said.

ALWAYS ON THE DRINK MENU

Regardless of the season, some beers maintain their popularity throughout the year.

At Barewolf Brewing, Wyeth said people “seem fixated on hoppy beer,” which makes their double dry hopped IPAs among their most popular offerings. Their current offerings in this category include

Smish and Contingency Plan, the latter of which he described as “a no-holds-barred flavorsplosion of Azacca and El Dorado hops.”

According to General Manager Don Perkins at Sea Dog Brewing Co., however, their most popular beer is something of a toss-up between Bluepaw Wild Blueberry ale and Deep Stowage IPA. “The Bluepaw has been a staple for Sea Dog, but I feel that the Deep Stowage IPA has come on strong in the past year or so,” he said.

He described Deep Stowage IPA as “incredibly hop-forward,” but brewed in a way to showcase some of the more subtle attributes of their favorite hops.

“Late boil additions of Citra, Bravo, and Mandarina Bavaria meld their fruity, citrusy, and spicy qualities to create a well-balanced taste,” Perkins added.

IPAs are also popular at Bad Lab Beer Co. One of their newest additions, Eppler said, is their Cocheco New England Style IPA. Their Skypunch Double IPA, however, is more of an old-school DIPA with a strong malt presence.

“It stands out from the crowd a bit and has been a hit from day one,” he said.

IPAs are also popular at Chapel + Main.

“We brew our Dragon in the Seas IPA with generous amounts of Columbus, Mosaic, and

Citra hops in the uber-trendy New England style,” said Yarrington, who said he has freedom to experiment.

“Luckily, I’m not tied to having any specific beer on tap and have the freedom to experiment and play with recipes and trends, which is an amazing creative luxury,” he said.

Like at Sea Dog Brewing Co., Carrier said the most popular beer at Throwback Brewery is also a toss-up.

“Our best seller is a close race between our Hank’s Pale Ale and our Doney-Hote Double IPA,” she said. “Hank’s is such a great yearround beer. It’s only 4.8 percent alcohol, yet it is dry hopped so that it has a ton of character, big aromas and flavors of stonefruit.”

For many on their team, Hank’s is the “go to” session-able beer.

“For us, Hank’s Pale Ale is a great reminder to every once in a while kick back, slow down, and enjoy the simple pleasures in life,” she said.

For light beer drinkers and non-hop fans, Eppler cited their classic Kölsch.

“The balance and approachability of the Kölsch yields a very quenchable beer,” he said. “On the darker side, we are very proud of our recent beer, Blue Lion Dark Ale, a strong ale with a touch of oak and chicoree brewed in partnership with Tamworth Distilling.”

Local breweries

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Tilton Brothers Brewing (tiltonbrothersbrewing.com) recently opened in the space formerly occupied by Four Pines Brewing Co. at 845 Lafayette Road in Hampton. The new brewpub is open Tuesday through Sunday. Here are a few other breweries you can find in the Seacoast area.

Garrison City Beerworks 455 Central Ave., Dover garrisoncitybeerworks.com

7th Settlement Brewery 47 Washington St., Dover 7thsettlement.com

Liars Bench Beer Co. 459 Islington St., Portsmouth liarsbenchbeer.com

Bad Lab Beer Co. 460 High St., Somersworth badlabbeer.com

Neighborhood Beer Co. 156 Epping Road, Exeter nhbeerco.com

BareWolf Brewing 12 Oakland St., Amesbury barewolfbrewing.com

The Portsmouth Brewery 56 Market St., Portsmouth portsmouthbrewery.com

Beara Irish Brewing Co. 2800 Lafayette Road, Portsmouth bearairishbrew.com

Redhook Ale Brewery 1 Redhook Way, Portsmouth redhook.com

Chapel + Main Restaurant|Brewery 83 Main St., Dover chapelandmain.com

Sea Dog Brewing Co. 9 Water St., Exeter seadogbrewing.com

Deciduous Brewing Co. 12 Weaver St. Suite B, Newmarket deciduousbrewing.com

Smuttynose Brewing Co. 105 Towle Farm Road, Hampton smuttynose.com

Earth Eagle Brewings 165 High St., Portsmouth eartheaglebrewings.com

Stoneface Brewing Co. 436 Shattuck Way, Newington stonefacebrewing.com

Great Rhythm Brewing Co. 105 Bartlett St., Portsmouth greatrhythmbrewing.com

SEACOAST SCENE | MARCH 7 - 20, 2019 | PAGE 11

The Scene’s

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PEOPLE AND PLACES

SHELLY ALBRO OWNER OF GENTS BARBERSHOP IN HAMPTON How long have you been open?

My official opening date was Jan. 5, so it’s still a very new adventure.

I bet it took a lot of work.

Yes, I found a great spot that my husband and I completely remodeled and decorated. I’ve had a lot of support from my friends and I understand something family, too, with my website, awful happened with anothbusiness plan and plain old er business you owned. Do moral support. It now fits my you mind explaining what vision for my business and happened? what I am trying to provide Shelly Albro. Courtesy photo.

My previous business was for my customers. I have a located in Warwick, Rhode better work-life balance and Island, but it was wiped out by the Mother’s it still feels surreal at times.

Day floods of 2010. Flooding occurred from Warwick to West Warwick and Cranston. In Are you nervous at all about it?

Warwick, roughly 100 homes were evacuatI have to admit that sometimes it can be a ed. About 40 businesses and 500 cars were bit worrisome when you leave a regular paycompletely flooded. Thirteen feet of water check behind and become self-employed. sewage and oil from a burst oil tank filled my salon. I lost everything and saw nothing from What will be your biggest challenge in your insurance as it was considered an act of God. first few months?

Why did you come to New Hampshire then?

At the same time my business was destroyed, my husband lost his job due to the recession. The unemployment rate rose to over 11 percent and finding work was nearly impossible in Rhode Island. With a mortgage and two young children, something had to change quickly. My parents had moved around this time to North Hampton, and every time we came to visit we fell in love with the Seacoast area. My husband decided to try his luck at finding a job in this area and within a week he landed a new job. We sold our home and bought a new home in the area. I then went back to working as a manager in the corporate hair salon business. I believe that moving to the Seacoast was the best decision for our family and we’ve never looked back.

So how has this latest venture happened?

After a few years of doing this, I started to think about being a business owner again and how much I missed building a business and being in charge of my own destiny.

How does it feel to be back in business?

As you can imagine, this was a huge decision after the devastating effects losing my business had on us — not only emotionally but financially too. However, my children are now 18 and 13, and I felt the time was now or never. I couldn’t be more excited to be on my own again.

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I miss my colleagues and find myself talking to the walls, but hopefully in time I can add some staff. The biggest challenge is getting the word out and attracting new customers. I’m learning about the power of social media and the internet.

How did you get into this line of work in the first place?

I started college with the intent of becoming a teacher, but I figured I could also do hair on the side as a part-time job, so I signed up for cosmetology school and went nights and weekends. Eventually the salon I was working at offered me a full-time position. I was tired of the starving college student lifestyle so I took a break from school and started a career in the salon business. Through the years I managed a few large corporate hair salons, gaining licenses in other states as well as getting my barber license. I did become a teacher of sorts throughout the years but in the hair industry. Eventually I became a wife and a mother, and before I knew it 25 years went by and here I am.

What are you most excited about now when you think about your future?

I look forward to becoming a member of the community, creating jobs and hopefully having a successful business that will provide me the opportunity to give back to some local charitable causes. I feel you just need to believe.

— Rob Levey

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SEACOAST SCENE | MARCH 7 - 20, 2019 | PAGE 13

CAR TALK

He doesn’t love the Buick Dear Car Talk: My husband drives a 6-cylinder 2004 Buick Rainier. It’s blue — my favorite color — and matches the decor of the house. He got this SUV from a friend who buys

By Ray Magliozzi totaled cars and fixes them for re-sale. This is the best one yet, and he wants to trade it in for a Jeep! Of course, one of the boys at his weekly gathering called Car Night has a Buick SUV and agrees with him that it’s a “pig” and should be traded.

Anyway, he keeps tracking his gas mileage at every fill-up. Recently it has gone down from 17-18 miles per gallon to 16.6. I told him that wasn’t much and he just needs a tuneup. “Spark plugs, Dear.”

Last night on our way to a fish fry he said it again for the umpteenth time, “I’m trading this in.” I calmly answered, “Spark plugs, air filter and gas filter, Dear.”

My problem is I am afraid that someday soon he will come home driving something that I won’t like again, when just simple maintenance could solve his obsessiveness with gas mileage. What do you think? — Sharon I think you’re right to be afraid, Sharon.

He is going to show up one night with a Jeep.

I can pretty much guarantee it. I also predict that the Jeep is going to get 13 miles per gallon, and he won’t care.

He hates the Buick. His friends are mocking him for driving it, and he can’t wait to get rid of it. All the complaining about gas mileage is just “preparing you” for the inevitable trade-in.

And I think you should just let him do it, Sharon. Remember, there are worse things husbands can decide to trade in. In the interests of marital harmony and good will, I’d say to him, “Frank, you know I like that Buick, but you should drive whatever makes you happy.”

Then here’s how you get your revenge: Every week, when he’s not looking, you syphon a little bit of gas out of his Jeep and put it into your car. Take out a little more each week. He’ll be completely confused as his mileage (which you say he tracks constantly) drops from 13 mpg, to 11, to 9.

When he gets down to 7 mpg, you can come clean and tell him about your practical joke. If he’s got a sense of humor, he’ll be impressed with your ingenuity and you guys will have a good laugh together. If he doesn’t have a sense of humor, he’ll divorce you, and then you take your half of the assets and buy your own Buick. Good luck, Sharon.

SEACOAST SCENE | MARCH 7 - 20, 2019 | PAGE 14

Dear Car Talk: Hi. I don’t drive my car very much and worry about the battery dying, as it has twice this week.

I am wondering what you think about solar battery chargers for my 2008 Altima?

It would be great not to waste time worrying about batteries! — Marjorie I’ll be glad to demean solar battery chargers, Marjorie, but first I’m more concerned that there’s something wrong with your car.

Your battery shouldn’t be dying twice a week if everything is working properly.

So start by having your mechanic test your battery and your charging system.

Your battery might not be charging when you drive. Perhaps it’s more than five years old and can’t hold a charge any more. Or maybe something is staying on and draining the battery while your car is parked.

We’ve also seen situations where owners will accidentally hit the “stop-start” button twice when shutting off the car, and put the car into “accessory mode” without knowing it. If you leave your car in “accessory mode,” things like your radio and heater fan will continue to run and drain your battery.

In terms of chargers, solar chargers put out about 500-1,500 milliamps. So even at the high end, under perfect, sunny con-

ditions, it’s adding about twice as much current as your car is draining just by being parked.

And since conditions are rarely perfect, you’ll just barely be replacing what the computer, the emissions system and the alarm are drawing when the car is off.

So if your battery is going stone cold dead twice a week, a solar battery charger is not going to make up the difference.

If everything were working properly, and you were the kind of person who parked your car for weeks at a time and lived in a particularly sunny clime, a solar charger might be enough to keep your battery charged up.

But unlike conventional, plug-in trickle chargers (also called battery tenders) that serve the same purpose, solar chargers have no automatic shut-off switch. So, while unlikely, it’s possible, under certain conditions, to overcharge your battery with a solar charger. You’d have to be extremely lucky to get enough juice out of it to have that happen, but it’s possible.

But start by figuring out what’s wrong with your electrical system, Marjorie. And once you get that fixed, you may find you don’t need any battery charger at all.

Visit Cartalk.com.

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FOOD

AT AT HAGAN’S GRILL With specialty dishes like saffron bouillabaisse, bacon-wrapped scallops in a maple mustard glaze, Indian curry and fire-grilled filet mignon, plus wines from Italy and New Zealand and a selection of house cocktails, Hagan’s Grill (6 High St., Hampton, 926-5668, hagansgrill.com) has become a year-round staple of casual and fine dining on the Seacoast. Jacques Desiree Moonsamy, a native of Mauritius, an island in the Indian Ocean just east of Madagascar, serves as the executive chef. The Scene recently spoke with owner and general manager Dora Hand about menu items you will find that set Hagan’s Grill apart from other local establishments and how Moonsamy brings his own international influences to the restaurant.

How long has Hagan’s Grill been around?

Since the spring of 2006. We bought it from the previous owners, who had it for about six months before that, and we decided to keep the name. I would describe the style as American with some French and Italian flairs. We have fallen in love with the locals that have supported us over the years. Oftentimes I like to refer to us as being like Cheers, where everybody knows your name.

What makes Hagan’s Grill unique?

I think it’s that our menu is so diverse.

We have everything from seafood to filets to pasta. We definitely consider ourselves a family-oriented restaurant

and we all work really hard to accommodate and listen to everybody.

What is your personal favorite drink or dish?

One of the things I always highly recommend is the ahi tuna. It’s sesame-seared, it’s fresh and I really like it because it’s a nice option if you don’t want to eat a lot and you just want a nice appetizer to start off with. I also really love our filet mignon, which is always grilled to perfection.

What is a dish everyone should try?

It would definitely be our curry. Our chef brings in a lot of seasonings from his homeland that are really not used

SEACOAST SCENE | MARCH 7 - 20, 2019 | PAGE 16

Hagan’s Grill in Hampton. Courtesy photos.

anywhere else in this area. He is a master at creating beautiful dishes. As far as our cocktails, we’re especially well-known for our martinis. We create all different kinds of flavors.

What is an essential skill to running a restaurant?

Just listening to our customers and catering to their needs is so important.

We go out to dinner for a reason, and that’s to not have to worry about making your own food and drinks. So we want to

make sure that people enjoy themselves here.

What is your favorite part of being on the Seacoast?

What’s not to love? We have the best of both worlds. We’re not far from the mountains if you want to go skiing, we have the most beautiful beaches in town, and we have the Seafood Festival that we participate in every year.

— Matt Ingersoll

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Last call

Winter farmers markets winding down Cars parked up and down the winding road, crowds of smiling people walking through bustling aisles and live acoustic music pulsing from nearby speakers: that was the scene at the most recent winter farmers market at Wentworth Greenhouses in Rollinsford.

A couple times a month at the large greenhouse complex, upward of 50 local vendors supplying everything from CBD honey sticks to dried heirloom beans set up shop.

Jillian Eldredge, the director of programs for the nonprofit organization based in Dover that organizes the winter markets, Seacoast Eat Local, said the farmers markets they run from November through April (alternating between Wentworth Greenhouses and Exeter High School) provide a sense of community and a great way for families to stock the fridge.

“It’s good for local businesses and economy,” Eldredge said. “In addition to the vendors that are at the market, there are a number of small businesses in our community that benefit from the markets being here that creates an economic advantage for the region.”

The winter farmers markets also offer something that’s hard to find in the coldest season of the year: fresh foods.

Eldredge almost got short of breath as she listed off some of the available goods: “bread, baked goods, prepared foods, meats, cheeses, yogurts, other kinds of dairy products, root vegetables, salad greens … all kinds of anything you might find at the grocery store to feed your family in a typical week, you can also find right here at the market.”

Eldredge said that at the start of the winter farmers market circuit, many of the vendors have a variety of storage crops that typically don’t last the entire winter, such as spaghetti squash or delicata squash. But almost all of

Local produce. Photo by Caleb Jagoda.

their produce vendors grow their greens and various other crops in greenhouses, creating a local output of fresh vegetables year-round.

“Even in the dead of winter, many farmers are growing in heated greenhouses,” Eldredge said. “[We offer] all kinds and varieties of lettuces, Asian greens, micro greens, cut greens; so even in the very coldest months of winter, there’s lots of green and fresh produce to be found in market.”

Despite the advent of greenhouses in the area, growing fresh produce still depends on the outside temperature and the alwaysoscillating weather. For farms without heated greenhouses, such as Two Farmers Farm from Scarborough, Maine, growing greens can be a challenge, but one that they readily accept and take in stride while still offering a good diversity of vegetables at each market.

“We have a pretty good supply of most things, our storage crops, like the carrots and sweet potatoes and onions,” said Kelsey Harrington, one of the owners and farmers at Two Farmers Farm. “The greens supply tends to fluctuate; it’s really weather-dependent. We don’t have any heat or lights in our high tun-

nels where we’re growing the greens, so when we have the cold weather we have fewer greens and when it’s warm we have more.

This time of the year green production actually picks up.”

For Harrington and many of the other vendors at the winter market, the worst of winter is behind them, as is the struggle to grow certain produce. For Seacoast locals, this translates into even more delicious foodstuff each week at their local market. And according to Sean Ford, employee at Valicenti Pasta Farm in Hollis, Seacoast residents have been eating up all the local goods that they can get their hands on.

Ford, who’s been with Valicenti Pasta Farm for two years, described how a line of around 50 people formed before the 10 a.m. market start time.

“I’m sold out of tons of stuff,” he said. “I got an hour in and I was already out of half my flavors. It’s been really steady.”

While the market provides so much great food, Ford, along with many of the other vendors at the market, described the one thing that makes the winter markets such a fun time: the friendliness of those in attendance.

“This farmers market is great. It attracts a good crowd; everybody seems to be in a good mood when they come to the farmers market.

It’s a great place to hang out,” Brooke Finn, co-owner of the Herb Farmacy in Salisbury, said.

The Seacoast Eat Local Winter Farmers Market has three more dates for the remainder of the season: March 9 at Exeter High School, March 23 at Wentworth Greenhouses and April 6 at Exeter High School. The markets are open from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m.

More information can be found at seacoasteatlocal.org.

— Caleb Jagoda

Market Vendors

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El Camino Foods Enna Chocolate Figtree Kitchen Forty Five Market Street Bakery and Café Garen’s Green at Riverside Farm Hackmatack Buffalo Farm Half-Acre Beekeeping Heron Pond Farm Hickory Nut Farm Hollister Family Farm HomeGrown Eats Hugs Broth Hurd Farm Jaju Pierogi Jesta Farm Juniper Cottage Bake Shop Karimah’s Kitchen

Kellie Brook Farm Lucas Roasting Co. Maine Herb Farm Meadows Mirth Micro Mama’s Mona Farm New England Fishmongers New Hampshire Cider Works New Hampshire Mushroom Co. NH Gleans Our Place Farm Prescott Park Art Festival Riverside Farm Root Seller Shagbark Farm Short Creek Farm Squamscott Vineyard & Winery Stout Oak Farm

Sugarmomma’s Maple Farm Sunnyfield Brick Oven Bakery The Bread Peddler The HERB FARMacy Throwback Brewery Toni’s Donuts Lemieux Family Concessions Top of the Hill Farm Two Farmers Farm Two Toad Farm Valicenti Pasta Farm Vernon Family Farm Victory Aquaponics Vida Tortilla Wake Robin Farm Well Sense Health Plan White Gate Farm Winnipesaukee Chocolates

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FOOD

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Photo by Allison Willson Dudas.

chocolate chips are so tasty and perfectly sweet.

You’ve got to have a mix of sugar for them to turn out perfectly. Most recipes call for half brown and half white.

Softened butter is critical. I’ve made the mistake in the past of using hot melted butter in a cookie recipe. The chocolate chips melted and my cookies came out dark brown. They tasted OK but were not very appealing to look at.

I prefer cookies with a little more vanilla extract: 2 teaspoons rather than one.

Butter. Only use butter. Margarine will get you voted off the island.

Use an ice cream scooper to scoop the batter into perfect little balls.

Line your cookie sheet with parchment paper. Makes life so much easier!

— Allison Willson Dudas

Chocolate chip cookies This recipe is basically the one you’ll find on a bag of Hershey’s, Nestle Toll House or Ghirardelli chocolate chips. You can’t go wrong!

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I don’t know about you but I think chocolate chip cookies are the most classic, most delicious and most amazing dessert ever. There is something about a really good chocolate chip cookie that can make a day go from so-so to great. I don’t even discriminate: I think there is room for everyone from Chips Ahoy! to your mother’s secret recipe from 1972.

Yet, here’s the thing. While sliceand-bake cookies lure us with their convenience, making these classics from scratch is honestly not that hard. Plus, when you make them from scratch, you can be picky about what kinds of chocolate chips you use and you don’t get any fillers like palm oil or “natural flavors.”

There are several chocolate chip cookies out there that range from simple to quite complex. While the recipes with espresso beans and three different kinds of flour might woo you, I stayed away. I didn’t want things to be so complicated that I felt nostalgic about the ease of opening a box of Chips Ahoy!. Plus, using my bag of Nestle Toll House reminded me of that episode of Friends where Monica is trying to crack Phoebe’s famous family recipe, “The One with Phoebe’s Cookies,” and I was chuckling to myself while baking.

I baked a few rounds of cookies to see which recipes I like best. Here are a few things I learned: Chocolate chips are designed specifically for baking. Because of the added stabilizers, they keep their shape and don’t fall apart.

While semi-sweet chocolate is the goto for most cookies, my children prefer milk chocolate and I have to agree. Milk

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2 cups Semi-Sweet Chocolate Baking Chips (contains milk) 1 cup butter or margarine, softened 3/4 cup sugar 3/4 cup brown sugar, packed 2 large eggs 2 teaspoons vanilla 2 1/4 cups unsifted flour 1 teaspoon baking soda 1/2 teaspoon salt Preheat oven to 375 degrees and line baking sheets with parchment paper.

Beat butter, 2 sugars and vanilla in large

bowl until thoroughly mixed (really important to use softened butter). Add eggs and continue to beat together.

In another bowl, mix together remaining dry ingredients: flour, baking soda and salt. Add dry mixture to butter mixture gradually mixing by hand or using a hand mixer on the low setting. Fold in chocolate chips. Using an ice cream scooper, scoop cookie dough onto baking sheets, about 8 scoops will fit.

Bake 8-10 minutes until slightly brown.

If they brown on the top, you’ve gone too far! Makes about 4 dozen cookies.

DRINK

Barrels and beer

Late winter is perfect for barrel-aged brews If you’re like me, you’ve probably had your fair share of stouts and porters over the last few months. The bitter cold calls for a brew with some richness and some malty complexity — think notes of chocolate and coffee.

I’m certainly not saying you or I are sick of stouts — hardly — but we are thinking about branching out as winter lingers on. Am I right?

Of course I am. Now is the perfect time to explore the world of barrel-aged brews, which are sort of like your crazy uncle in their utter unpredictability. That is to say, some are a “bit much.”

There aren’t necessarily any restrictions on what brews to barrel-age, but since it’s still winter, I really want to focus on barrel-aged stouts. There is (rightly) much fanfare over brews like Founders Brewing Co. Kentucky Bourbon Stout (KBS) and the Goose Island Bourbon County Stout — brews so big and rich I can hardly stand it — but they are not alone.

Most barrel-aged brews feature big flavors, as the aging process both intensifies existing notes and creates additional layers of flavors.

The barrel-aging process isn’t necessarily complicated. Brewers often take a staple brew, frequently a stout, and age it in a used bourbon barrel. Some will add additional ingredients, such as vanilla beans. But really, it’s about letting brews sit in barrels soaking up the flavor from the wood as existing flavors enhance and concentrate.

The resulting brew is intensely flavorful; I don’t know that I’ve ever tried a barrel-aged brew that didn’t stand out for its big flavor.

Even if I ultimately didn’t prefer the brew, it wasn’t due to lack of flavor.

Barrel-aged brews tend to have higher alcohol contents and the alcohol is more “apparent” in these brews. You can taste it.

Particularly in the case of bourbon barrels, the intense flavor of bourbon can very nearly preside over brews.

Between higher alcohol contents, big flavors and a robust body, barrel-aged brews can be a lot to handle. I love these boozy giants but I often find them best enjoyed by sharing them. The brews are sometimes so bold, I often don’t want more than six to eight ounces.

Let’s explore some barrel-aged options, including a few New Hampshire brews.

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Bourbon Barrel-Aged Stout by Concord Craft Brewing (Concord) This has a little bit of sweetness but what hit me in the face most were big bourbon notes, rich coffee and subtle vanilla. According to the brewery, bottles of the 2018 edition are still available at the brewery. Track it down.

L’étalon Stout by Smuttynose Brewing Co. (Hampton) This American imperial stout is aged in Buffalo Trace bourbon barrels. I’ll be on a quest to try this.

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Oak-aged Yeti by Great Divide Brewing Co. (Denver) I love the coffee flavor on this brew, which is quite dry and smoky. A lot of barrel-aged brews are extra sweet, and that can be perfectly fine, but this one is not and I found myself liking that — a lot. Great Divide also makes an espresso-aged version of this brew.

Bourbon County Stout by Goose Island (Chicago) OK, I couldn’t ignore this one. For me, this was the barrel-aged brew that effectively woke me up to this intriguing style. I remember a cascade of vanilla and creaminess the first time I tried one of these. It was a revelation. This beer is the epitome of this style: bold, sweet and rich, with more bourbon flavor than you can imagine.

Jeff Mucciarone is an account managBlack Bear Barrel-Aged Russian Impe- er with Montagne Communications, where rial Stout by Great North Aleworks he provides communications support to the (Manchester) New Hampshire wine and spirits industry.

This first-edition brew spent a whole year in Jim Beam bourbon barrels. The brewery What’s in My Fridge says it is smooth, complex and luscious. This Saccarappa by Mast Landing Brewing one is available only at the brewery beginCo. (Westbrook, Maine): A wonderful ning March 1.

India pale ale with bright, citrusy notes and a tempered bitterness. Cheers!

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SEACOAST SCENE | MARCH 7 - 21, 2019 | PAGE 21

POP CULTURE BOOKS

You Know You Want This, by Kristen Roupenian (Scout Press, 225 pages)

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A thousand words has launched many a book, if the words were published first in the exalted pages of The New York Times or The New Yorker or some other heavenly strata of publishing.

The book that follows sometimes, but not always, delivers on the promise of the original work.

And so here comes You Know You Want This, the swiftly gestated progeny of “Cat Person,” the viral short story that was dissected globally after The New Yorker published it in December 2017.

So you’ll want to know, was “Cat Person” the work of a one-hit wonder; Kristen Roupenian, the literary equivalent of the Starland Vocal Band? No, Roupenian’s new collection reveals a writer of startling ability, given that her publishing credits were modest before “Cat Person” was published.

That said, she’s not for everyone, definitely not for your grandmother or mother, or daughter or son, or for anyone who might wince at a story that’s not fullblown porn but has parts that come close, even if the story is titled “The Good Guy.” The collection is, in turns, beautifully written while deeply disturbing.

The characters Roupenian invents, much like Margot and Robert in “Cat Person,” are perfectly ordinary people, perfectly likeable people, until, all of a sudden, they’re not, in ways that are suddenly, shockingly revealed.

In “Cat Person,” included in this collection, the reveal doesn’t occur until the end when contrails of text messages cast doubt on what you’ve believed about Robert until then.

For those unfamiliar with the story, it’s about a relationship that unfolds between a concession clerk at an artsy theater and a moviegoer with whom she develops a rapport. He has cats and drives a “muddy white” Civic, and when Margot first takes off her shirt in front of him, he looks “stunned and stupid with pleasure, like a milk-drunk baby.”

Roupenian is not much for happy endings, however, as Margot signals to the reader when the couple first have sex, and she thinks, “brightly, ‘This is the worst life decision I have ever made!’”

There are 11 other stories, many also full of bad life decisions, such as the

child whose sympathy for her single mother prompts her to wish for “something mean” at her birthday party. (“Mama?” the girl asks afterward, “Do you think birthday wishes can ever be unwished?”)

There’s also the couple who lets a newly jilted friend sleep over on their couch indefinitely, then lets him become entangled in their sex life, at first inadvertently, then deliberately, with horrific results. A Peace Corps volunteer assigned to a horrible class of girls in Kenya, who is tormented by someone knocking on his hut’s door all night. A woman who steals a book of spells from a library, then summons her “heart’s desire,” which turns out to be a naked man with bloody knees. (“I knew the world was more interesting than it was pretending to be,” she thinks.)

The best of the collection is “The Good Guy,” which, once you move past its R-rated opening, masquerades as a coming-of-age story about Ted, a sweet, bookish boy whose adolescent fantasies involved bringing breakfast in bed to his cousin; no euphemism there, but fresh orange juice and fried eggs on a tray adorned with a daisy.

Later, Ted develops an obsessive crush on a sparkling girl named Anna, part of a “coterie of other beautiful girls” who at a party are “emoting so brightly that the rest of the world went dim.”

Anna, however, is pining over a bad-boy athlete who’d dumped her, and doesn’t see much use for Ted other than as a depository for woe until she goes off to college and he gets another girlfriend, Rachel.

The trio’s story is entwined with a current relationship that is ending badly (again, Roupenian isn’t much for happily ever after), and is masterfully told by a writer whose sentences can best be described as free pour, as if Roupenian was taking dictation from heaven — although given the themes here, hell is more likely.

Roupenian dedicates the collection to her mother, “who taught me to love what scares me.” That’s a dedication deserving of more explanation, but so, too, are most of these stories, which, like “Cat Person,” seem to resonate with readers because of the questions they ask, not the answers they give. You Know You Want This is taut and mesmerizing, but not for the easily offended.

B+ — Jennifer Graham

POP CULTURE

Portsmouth portals

Second book in fantasy mystery series released Portsmouth is at the crossroads of other worlds and dimensions in Jeff Deck’s new series The Shadow Over Portsmouth, the second book of which, City of Games, was released earlier this year.

The first book, City of Ports, released in August, introduces disgruntled Portsmouth ex-cop Divya Allard, who is searching for answers about who killed her fiance, Hannah.

Her rogue investigation takes her to different universes via gateways located throughout Portsmouth. “[The series] takes a lot of different elements from fantasy, sci-fi and horror, and puts them in a blender, along with a little mystery,” Deck said.

In City of Games, Divya travels across dimensions once again to save an old friend and finds herself in the deadly City of Games, where senses, memories, emotions and life itself are at stake.

“Each book focuses on a different world that she visits, with Portsmouth still at the heart of it,” Deck said.

Once a good cop on track to becoming a detective, Divya becomes embittered towards the police department, which she believes didn’t thoroughly investigate her fiance’s death.

“She kind of goes crazy, off the rails, and becomes a loner,” Deck said. “She spends a lot of time confronting this deep-seated anger towards the institution that she feels failed her and her fiance.”

The story is told in the first-person from the perspective of Divya, who appears to be addressing not the reader, but her dead fiance — a narrative style that Deck said is “unusual and not seen often in other stories,” but received a positive response from readers of the first book.

Deck currently lives in Maine but grew up in Manchester and previously lived in Portsmouth. In the books, Divya lives on the same street and in the same building where Deck had lived. Other Portsmouth sites referenced in the books include Prescott Park, which Deck said “plays an important part in the story;” Portsmouth Book & Bar, a bookstore and bar and restaurant located in Market Square; and Round Island, a small island on the south channel of the city, inhabited by a single private residence.

“Portsmouth has this really wonderful atmosphere and so much history and character,” Deck said. “Many times, as I walked around there, I thought to myself, ‘There could be a gateway to somewhere else right around this cor-

Something for Every Season

ner.’ It seemed like the natural setting for a story that would bring in some fantastical elements.”

Deck said his target audience for the series is people who have “eclectic reading taste” and enjoy stories set in New England.

“A lot of things in the books will be familiar to people who are familiar with Portsmouth and New Hampshire in general,” he said.

Deck works primarily as a fiction ghostwriter and editor, but has a handful of books to his name. His first book, The Great Typo Hunt: Two Friends Changing the World, One Correction at a Time, published in 2010, is a nonfiction account of Deck’s and Deck’s friend Benjamin D. Herson’s journey across America to fix typos in public signage. He also published two fiction works prior to The Shadow Over Portsmouth series: Player Choice, a sci-fi gaming adventure novel, in 2015, and The Pseudo-Chronicles of Mark Huntley, a supernatural thriller written in the form of a blog, in 2016.

Deck is planning 10 books for The Shadow Over Portsmouth series, with the third and fourth books set to be released this year.

The third book, City of Notions, will involve an alternate version of New England, while the fourth book, City of Sails, will explore ocean-based adventures and Portsmouth’s seafaring history.

— Angie Sykeny

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SEACOAST SCENE | MARCH 7 - 21, 2019 | PAGE 23

NITE

Clash City

Portsmouth’s 3S Artspace celebrates London Calling

You may have heard the exciting news that the Hampton Area Chamber of Commerce (HACC) has purchased its new, permanent home.

The new location will be in Hampton Center, at 47 Winnacunnet Road. This location will be instrumental to our mission of serving our membership, Seacoast businesses, and the regional economy.

As part of this once-in-a-lifetime event, the HACC Board of Directors has authorized a Capital Campaign, which was designed to provide funding for building renovations, landscaping, and the design and construction of outside event space. The 3-stage Capital Campaign has so far been successful.

We have raised approximately $65,000 toward our $100,000+ goal.

This message is the kick-off of Stage 3, and it is designed to be both affordable and impactful to our prospective donors.

Commemorative bricks, with your personalized message, will be the focal point for thousands of visitors coming into the HACC offices annually. They will be placed on the walk-way heading into the front door.

Please join us in celebration of this monumental event - advertise your business, memorialize your family, or highlight yourself - not only as a Chamber supporter, but as a visionary for the future of the beautiful New Hampshire Seacoast.

Ordering is easy. Just contact the Hampton Are Chamber of Commerce at 603-926-8718:

Thank you for your consideration.

P.S. The HAAC Commemorative Brick Program provides a great gift-giving opportunity. All orders will receive a Brick Keepsake Certificate!

SEACOAST SCENE | MARCH 7 - 20, 2019 | PAGE 24

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At the end of 1979, London Calling presaged the death of punk rock music — at least for the band that made it. The ethos, edge and social agitation of The Clash remained, but sonically the double LP went in every other direction — reggae, ska, horn-laden soul, rockabilly, even Phil Spector pop. A love song tacked on at the last minute, “Train in Vain,” became the band’s first charting hit in the U.S. Forty years later, it’s a record that’s on every credible Best of All Time list.

To mark the anniversary, Portsmouth’s 3S Artspace is hosting a celebration called Clash! Loud and Clear, which includes a local band playing the album from start to finish, along with a selection of Clash favorites. The event also includes a listening party with a screening of a once mythic making-ofthe-record documentary, an old-school record bazaar and other activities. It was co-created

by Cliff Lazenby and Anna Nuttall.

“The Clash were in between and above every other punk band,” said Lazenby recently, adding of London Calling, “I’m still pretty impressed with how that record stands up over the years; to me, it’s still clearly a monumental achievement.”

Though too young to have seen The Clash perform, he was at a Joe Strummer concert in New York City in the days just after 9/11.

Few shows were happening in the wake of the attacks, but Strummer and his band The Mescaleros pressed on. Lazenby remembers the ex-front man, who died a year later, as “a human shaman bringing everybody together; it was celebratory, restorative and hopeful.”

The inspiration for the event came from a massive collection of Clash vinyl that Skele-Tone Records owner Todd Radict has displayed on a wall at his place in Rochester. There are rare releases, bootlegs, picture sleeves — a treasure trove numbering over 150 pieces. Radict told Nuttall that music and Clash fans deserved to see it.

“That got us to thinking,” Nuttall said.

Radict’s collection will be on display from March 1 to March 24 in the 3S Artspace Performance Space. The Lobby Gallery will host a Punk Is Alive photography exhibit from March 1 to March 17.

Events begin on Thursday, March 7, with a listening party that includes a screening of the bizarre film The Last Testament - The Making of London Calling. Adding to the fun is a pop-up vinyl shop with offerings from Skele-Tone, White Heron Tea Shop, Welfare Records and Modern Records.

Saturday, March 9, includes a family-friendly afternoon that features punk-rock-style button making and a ‘zine showcase presented by Portsmouth Middle School. An artists’ opening reception for Radict’s record collection and the photo exhibit happens later.

Courtesy photo.

The main event is performance Saturday night by Super Black Market Clash City Rockers. A pickup group assembled by Portsmouth music fixture Tim McCoy, it includes McCoy’s Watts bandmate Dan Kopko and Dave Steele on guitars, drummer Jamie Perkins, Duncan Watt on keys and sax player Don Davis.

McCoy was “literally the only person I could imagine to pull it together around here,” Lazenby said. “[It’s] great to get a bunch of musicians who have the chops — and the passion, interest, fandom of The Clash — to play the album.”

This is a covers show on a higher plane, he said.

“Sometimes a ‘tribute’ band can be … I don’t know if I like it, or it’s sad, or something else. But there are certain things you’re not gonna see again, so you can get together and celebrate it. People play classical all the time. They ‘cover’ it, and it’s great. Because the music is great.” — Michael Witthaus Clash! Loud and Clear When: Friday, March 1 – Sun., March 24 Where: 3S Artspace, 319 Vaughan St., Portsmouth More: 3sarts.org Schedule of events: March 1 - March 24: The Clash on Record (Todd Radict’s vinyl collection on view) March 1 - March 17: Punk Is Alive (photography exhibit) March 7: London Calling Listening Session and Pop Up Record Shop / 7-9 p.m. / Free March 9: Rollercoaster: A Family Friendly Dance Party featuring button making (punk rock style) and a Portsmouth Middle School zine showcase / 2-4 p.m. / Free for parents, kids under 2 / $10 first child / $5 siblings March 9: Artists’ Opening Reception for The Clash on Record and Punk Is Alive exhibits / 6-7 p.m. / Free March 9: Super Black Market Clash City Rockers play London Calling and other songs from The Clash / 8 p.m. / $20

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03/15 - Moonlight Meadery - 4 to 6pm 03/16 - GUINNESS St. Patrick’s Day, 12 - 2pm 03/22 - Baxter Brewing - 4 to 6pm 03/23 - Moody Girl Wine - 12 to 2pm 03/29 - Bell’s Brewing - 4 to 6pm 03/30 - Marathon Brewing 26.2 - 12 to 2pm 03/30 - Flag Hill Wine - 12 to 2pm

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BEACH BUM FUN JONESIN’ CROSSWORDS BY MATT JONES

“You’re All Out of Order” — it’s all about the position Across 1 Bodily pouches (and not something like what Santa carries, unfortunately) 5 Airline to Adelaide 11 Adversary 14 How some sit by

15 Lacking the resources 16 Hedwig, for one 17 Midday song by The Moody Blues, out of order?

19 Cup edge 20 Blissful 21 Jots down

23 Throat problem, briefly 24 “Forgot About ___” (2000 single) 26 Frigid 27 Oscar winner 29 Stylish, to some 32 “We try harder” rental company 35 “Forever Mine” singer Day 37 Ray of sunshine 38 “Good Will Hunting” campus 39 Comedian Black who was Anger in “Inside Out” 40 GOP fundraising org.

41 It’s red, white, and blue for a bunch of countries 43 “Love Story” author Segal 44 “The Duchess of Alba” painter 45 Croquet need 47 “Far out!”

2/21

49 “Smallville” villain Luthor 50 “Moonrise Kingdom” director Anderson 51 Addis ___ (Ethiopia’s capital) 55 Breed of chicken once known as Indian Game 58 Vexation 59 Kimono sash 60 Punny Stephan Pastis comic strip, out of order?

63 Guitar master Paul 64 “Honor Thy Father” author Gay 65 River from Lake Victoria 66 Turn purple?

67 Like some tomatoes 68 Boat bottom Down 1 Building locations 2 Mature 3 Disperse 4 “All ___ go!”

5 College square 6 “... join in ___ reindeer games” 7 Photographer Goldin 8 Short loin cut 9 ___ gobi (Indian potato dish) 10 Mailed, as a contest entry, way back when 11 Temperature where the Fahrenheit and Celsius scales meet, out of order?

12 Boo-boo

13 They give shade 18 ___-Provera (birth control injection) 22 “But she’s calling ___” (“Mr. Brightside”) 24 Off-the-highway eatery 25 It pairs with steak 28 Parking person 29 Malia’s sister 30 Buffoonish 31 1970s song whose first two words denote the first two letters 32 Letters on a boom box 33 ‘80s “This Old House” host Bob 34 Persevere, out of order?

36 Some side dishes 42 Country singer Campbell 44 Fail to bring up a memory 46 Is 48 Cassette contents 50 During 52 Eagle’s perch 53 Disney “princess” fond of reading 54 Adams who photographed Yosemite 55 Target of some OTC medicine 56 Toe the line 57 Go after flies 58 Went 40 in a 20 zone, e.g.

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The home of familiar favorites SEACOAST SCENE | MARCH 7 - 20, 2019 | PAGE 26

The Brätskellar Pub

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BEACH BUM FUN HOROSCOPES

By Holly, The Seacoast Area's Leading Astrologer

• Leo (July 23-Aug. 22): Your horoscope calls for a big surprise, but due to a typographical error you will get a fig surprise.

Smoky Quartz Distillery

• Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Today is a day you shouldn’t be afraid to let your imagination run wild! That’s what I do when I make up these horoscopes.

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• Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Take time today to ease into any situation that comes up, especially when you go to try on that new pair of pants.

• Aries (March 21-April 19): Your tendency to exaggerate will get so out of hand, the fate of all mankind will hang in the balance.

• Taurus (April 20-May 20): Do your own thing and take care of your own business. And when you do, just be sure to close the door.

• Gemini (May 21-June 20): Stop worrying about what others think of you. It couldn’t get any worse than it already is anyway.

• Cancer (June 21-July 22): You have a song in your heart. Unfortunately, it’s “You Light Up My Life.”

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Located on Route 1 in Seabrook, NH. We are an artisan ‘grain to glass’ craft distillery using only the highest quality ingredients to distill truly exceptional “Small Batch” spirits.

• Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Don’t believe everything you read, except today’s horoscope for Gemini. I swear that one is really true. Really.

• Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): You will find yourself somewhat forgetful today, though for the life of me I can’t remember why.

• Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Worrying never solved any problem, and that really concerns me.

• Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Today you have nothing to lose and everything to gain! So it’s not the best day to sign up for Weight Watchers.

• Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20): Like you’re really going to believe what I tell you. OK, stand with your bare feet in a bucket of ice water all day. How did that feel?

SUDOKU

Fill in the grid so that every row, every column, and every 3x3 box contains the digits 1 through 9. Answers will appear in next week's paper.

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SEACOAST SCENE | MARCH 7 - 21, 2019 | PAGE 27

BEACH BUM FUN ROCKANDROLLCROSSWORDS.com BY TODD SANTOS

You give puzzles a bad name Across

1. Contractual trick on unsuspecting musicians 5. U2 fell into a ‘Bass’ one 9. Fiona Apple ‘Fast __ __ Can’ (2,3) 14. Supertramp “Give a little bit of your __ to me” 15. LL Cool J and Deep Purple songs w/ same title 16. What roadie does, into truck

17. Jimmy Cliff pal Lewis 18. Label abbreviated from Atlantic Corporation 19. Bon Jovi “See Joe was __ years younger to the day” 20. Slayer’s ‘South Of Heaven’ closer (5,3,5) 23. ‘02 No Doubt single ‘__ Good’ 24. 80s R&B singer Peeples 25. Bon Jovi smash ‘__ Medicine’

28. Iron Butterfly classic ‘In-A-__’ (hyph) 33. Clean Lifehouse song for your car?

37. Elvis Presley ‘Viva __ Vegas’ 38. Bon Jovi “Baby I’ll come running, __ __ am, I’m your man” (4,1) 39. Might take one for post-show headache relief 41. ‘04 Eric Clapton album ‘__ Johnson’ (2,3,2) 43. ‘Ladyflash’ band __ __! Team (3,2) 44. “Come together” during improv, slang 45. Aretha Franklin ‘__ __ A Little Prayer’ (1,3) 46. Coldplay lives ‘Life In’ this color movie process 50. SoCal Overkill label 51. Paul McCartney’s first love Rhone 52. Bon Jovi “Heaven help __ __” (2,3) 57. ‘95 Rancid album ‘...__ Wolves’ (3,3,4,3,6) 62. ‘You Don’t Have To Be A Star’

2/21 C H E S T

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L L O R O I R L A S J O D J O N G O B I R A A N D A A M Y S W A H I N P E Z R E V E O T E S W E

N O T H I N G C O M P A R E S

I T H M E A I N G L N R A B A H E O N G Y T O S G R S L U C U E E L E G E A Y O U W P M O T G L

Pease Care Packages

D E E D

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A L L A N

W I L L S

1. ‘Welcome To The Jungle’ guitarist 2. Beach Boys had a ‘Little Deuce’ one 3. ‘The Best Damn Thing’ Lavigne 4. You Shook __ __ Night Long (2,3) 5. Elton John ‘I Don’t Wanna Go On With You Like __’ 6. Repeated word in 90s ‘Uninvited’ band name 7. What career does after huge hit 8. Some stars might have stage fright one 9. LA rockers Palo __ 10. TriBeCa neighbor Phil Lynott went ‘Solo’ in, perhaps 11. 60s ‘For Your Love’ band Jimmy Page was in 12. Cranberries ‘__ To My Family’ 13. Phish ‘What’s The __?’

21. Tour plane will do this when stars run late 22. Extreme metal band Strapping Young __

The Seacoast Scene is looking for a sales person with past print sales experience who is creative and loves the print environment. Candidates should live on the seacoast. Hours are part-time.

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SEACOAST SCENE | MARCH 7 - 20, 2019 | PAGE 28

L I V E

Down

26. CA ‘Cold And Jaded’ nu-metal band 27. Norman Greenbaum gets his ice cream at ‘__ Queen’ 29. ‘Bitter Honey’ singer that likes boxer Muhammed?

30. Baird of Georgia Satellites 31. “Bingo! I remembered that name of the song!”

32. Hives hit album ‘__ Vidi Vicious’ 33. Stones drummer Charlie 34. ‘11 Ryan Adams album ‘__ & Fire’ 35. Barenaked Ladies album ‘Rock __’ 36. Bon Jovi ‘Full Moon __’ 40. Asheton of The Stooges 41. Classic funnyman Brooks that also wrote music 42. Jeff Lynne ‘Showdown’ band 44. ‘08 Nickelback single ‘__ __ Somebody’ (5,2) 47. ‘Like The Way __ __’ Melissa Etheridge (1,2) 48. ‘01 Grammy-winning Steely Dan hit ‘__ Dupree’ 49. Procol Harum ‘A __ Tale’ 53. Wrens ‘She __ Kisses’ 54. Megadeth ‘__ __ Le Monde’ (1,4) 55. Coldplay/Kylie Minogue song 56. Stevie Ray Vaughan instrumental for his wife 58. Haircut 100 ‘High __’ 59. Elton John ‘__ Shoot Me I’m Only The Piano Player’ 60. Stage hands 61. Hall & Oates eat them ‘Whole’ 62. Kinky song about having more Spanish things?

63. Fred Durst wears a baseball one

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Marilyn 64. 80s Starship smash w/girl’s name 65. Lyrical word that is not a verb but this 66. Butler-led ‘Rock N’ Roll Gangster’ soul band 67. Joe Jackson “If it wasn’t for you __ __ I could do better sleeping at night” (1,3) 68. Bassist Donald that went by “Duck” 69. What fan did to money on show 70. ‘77 Queen album ‘__ Of The World’ 71. Bon Jovi song they refused to call “Leave”?

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SEACOAST SCENE | MARCH 7 - 21, 2019 | PAGE 29

NEWS OF THE WEIRD BY ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION

Religious rascality

Pastor Alph Lukau of Alleluia International Ministries in Johannesburg, South Africa, is facing lawsuits after a stunt in which he appeared to resurrect a dead man on Feb. 24. Sowetan News reported that a video of the incident shows Lukau placing his hands on the man’s stomach as he lay in the coffin, when suddenly the man, identified as Elliott, begins to gasp for air and sits up. “Can you see what happened?” Lukau exclaims in the video.

“This man died since Friday, he was in the mortuary. ... Devil, I told you wherever I find you I will kick you.” Pastor Rochelle Kombou said the hearse driver heard noises coming from the coffin and ran away as soon as they arrived at the church. “I was screaming,” she said. “I saw his tongue moving. ... The man of God completed the miracle by praying because prayer is the key.” The lawsuits, meanwhile, stem from the misrepresentation of the situation to three funeral parlors, whose services were sought by church officials; a coffin was bought from one and the hearse was hired from another. Prince Mafu, who is representing the funeral homes, said the matter had been reported to the Jeppe police station for further investigation.

Bright Ideas

• Smartmouth Brewing Co. in Norfolk, Virginia, launched a new “magically ridiculous” beer on March 2: Saturday Morning, a limited-edition IPA — with marshmallows. Chris Neikirk, brewery spokesperson, told USA Today the beer is “brewed with in-house toasted marshmallows and bulk dehydrated marshmallow bits. ... It has a soft pillowy body with a slight cereal taste.” Smartmouth hopes the beer evokes “nostalgia in adults who remember when ... Saturday mornings were a time that you sat around watching cartoons and playing games,” Neikirk added, while warning that the brewery is “not marketing to children.”

• If you’re looking for a creepy weekend getaway, The Gas Station along Texas Highway 304 near Bastrop now offers overnight stays. Why, you say? The old filling station was the setting for the 1974 film “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.” The Gas Station opened as a restaurant in 2016, serving barbecue and souvenir merchandise to film buffs. Manager Ben Hughes said the Coke machine in the movie is the same one that’s now in the restaurant, and they have a van parked outside that’s an exact replica of the one in the film. Now, he tells KVUE TV, fans can stay in one of four mini-cabins right behind the restaurant. But Hughes promises the staff won’t try to scare you: “We want to make sure that everybody that comes out has a good time ... not just freakin’ out or anything like that.”

Unclear on the concept

On Feb. 13, Nina Harris of Kentucky told her husband, Allan, that she wanted tulips for Valentine’s Day. As she explains it: “He wasn’t paying attention.

He just said, ‘Yes, I know.’ When I got up, I had my first cup of coffee, and he said, ‘Oh, your turnips are here.’ And I said, ‘Turnips?!’” Nina told WPVI TV. Allan’s story is slightly sweeter: “I ... put the turnips in the bucket that says ‘I Love You’ on it,” he said. “I went in there, got her coffee — and here you go!” Allan, who admitted he wasn’t really listening when Nina requested tulips, later made it up to her by getting her the flowers AND candy and balloons.

Wait, what?

Filipino medicine man Angelito Oreta, 55, has an unusual method of protecting himself and his home from thieves and attackers. He and his followers raid fresh graves near Manila to steal the kneecaps from corpses. Oreta uses a scalpel to remove the patella, then soaks the bone in coconut oil for several days to dissolve the skin. Once dried, the bones can be found scattered around his home or worn around his neck. “The benefit that the guardian angels from the patellas will bring is that they will help your livelihood,” Oreta explained to Metro News. “The kneecaps are used for protection. Or they also work as a shield.” Oreta gifts the bones to his trusted friends and followers.

ed because of peripheral arterial disease, reported the Daily Mail, so she posted on Sewport.com, requesting help to “create something beautiful and useful” — a handbag, using her own skin.

She has budgeted about $3,900 for the project, which she envisions as a “medium-sized handbag with a short strap and a section down the middle that will be made from my skin,” she explained in the post.

“I know it’s a bit odd and gross ... but it’s my leg, and I can’t bear the thought of it being left to rot somewhere.” There are no laws against her keeping the limb, although there is paperwork to fill out.

Boris Hodakel, the founder of Sewport. com, reports that no designers have come forward yet to help with Joan’s request.

Awesome!

Zen TV painter Bob Ross has been gone for 24 years, but his inspiration lives on — at least at Madison Middle School in Abilene, Texas, where on Feb. 7, students in Brady Sloane’s art class donned curly brown wigs, blue shirts and paint palettes for a “Flash Bob Flash Mob.” Sloane’s pre-Advanced Placement students were stressed about grades and projects, and she “wanted to find a way to reward them,”

she told the Abilene Reporter News. The students used music stands as makeshift easels, where they painted “happy little trees” and projected an episode of The Joy of Painting as parents memorialized the special day with photos and videos.

The continuing crisis

Passengers on an 12-hour Air France flight on Feb. 18 became alarmed when a man seated in the bulkhead row boarded the plane, then removed his pants and socks, settling into his seat in just his boxers and a T-shirt. Sitting across the aisle from him, passenger Lizzie Thompson took photos and posted on Twitter throughout the flight, reported The Sun. “Alerted the flight attendant. He offered to move me ... but just shrugged when I suggested he ask the man to put his pants back on,” she wrote. Thompson also wrote that six hours into the flight from Paris to Los Angeles, the scantily clad passenger got cold, “so PUT ON HIS PUFFY JACKET.” The man put his pants and socks back on after landing, much to Thompson’s relief.

“Nothing bonds a group of passengers like a man half naked in your section,” Thompson wrote.

Visit newsoftheweird.com.

Rude

Detective Constable Claire Fitzpatrick is no shrinking violet, evidenced by the fact that she’s in danger of losing her job at the village police station in Bedwas, South Wales, England. The 44-year-old says her inappropriate language and habit of audibly breaking wind are just part of the “culture of banter” at the station, but she faces 25 counts of inappropriate behavior, including: farting outside her sergeant’s office, using the C-word with a suspect, and propositioning a junior officer (asking if he wanted an affair with a “fatter, ugly, older woman”). DC Fitzpatrick told Metro News that swearing is “just the nature of the place” and she had replaced the F-word with the C-word as her word of choice. However, she appeared to have regrets about her actions, calling them “stupid.”

Ewwwww!

Silence of the Lambs, indeed. A Manchester, England, woman named Joan has a unique project in mind for a custom clothing designer. It seems Joan, 55, is anticipating having her leg amputat-

SEACOAST SCENE | MARCH 7 - 20, 2019 | PAGE 30

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