Seacoast Scene 4-11-19

APRIL 11 - 17, 2019

How to roll the perfect bites for breakfast, lunch and dessert SEACOAST SCENE | APRIL 11-17, 2019 | PAGE 1

A WORD FROM LARRY

Master McGrath’s

Perfect time for locals Welcome to the first weekly issue of the Seacoast Scene, now through Columbus Day. With the weekly edition we will keep you up to date on community events, local news and what to do and Larry Marsolais where to go on the coast.

I don’t know about you, but what an interesting winter — not a lot of snow, and where is spring? It seems that spring is always missing because we go from winter to summer — although as I write this, the sun is out and it is in the 60s. (Editor’s note: At noon on the day of publication, it is 35 — gotta love New England.)

After saying that, you (our readers) have a golden opportunity right now to

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go down the beach and have breakfast, lunch or dinner at some amazing restaurants. Why? There are no crowds to put up with. The beach is part of our community, so head there with friends or family and enjoy. I have already done it and it was very relaxing to have lunch and enjoy the beach while it is quiet. We have great restaurants at the beach that serve wonderful food and before you know it, the tourists will be here.

As always I would love to hear from our readers on how we are doing. Feel free to call me anytime at 603-935-5096 to discuss local issues or to place an ad.

Larry Marsolais is the general manager of the Seacoast Scene and the former president of the Hampton Rotary Club.

KARAOKE

Come sing...or just sing along!

THURSDAY & FRIDAY NIGHTS 8pm - Midnight

APRIL 11 - 17, 2019 VOL 44 NO 7

BREAKFAST SERVED

Cover image from Sea Dog Brewing Co.

Advertising Staff

Sat & Sun 8am-2pm

Larry Marsolais Seacoast Scene General Manager 603-935-5096 larry@seacoastscene.net

Friday Special Fried Clam Plate Saturday Special (4pm on) Roast Prime Rib of Beef Au Jus

Editorial Staff Editor Meghan Siegler editor@seacoastscene.net

King Cut (16oz) • Queen Cut (10oz)

Production Design Laura Young and Tristan Collins Nicole Reitano-Urquhart

Monday-Thursday 2pm-5pm

ALL YOU CAN EAT HADDOCK FRY $10.99

Contributors Rob Levey, Michael Witthaus, Matt Ingersoll, Jeff Mucciarone, Caleb Jagoda, Allison Willson Dudas

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Takeout Available Visit our website for entertainment 603.474.3540

www.MasterMcGraths.com

SEACOAST SCENE | APRIL 11-17, 2019 | PAGE 2

Have an event or a story idea for the Seacoast Scene? Let us know at: editor@seacoastscene.net Unsolicited submissions are not accepted and will not be returned or acknowledged.

Unsolicited submissions will be destroyed.

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COVER STORY 6 That’s a wrap

MAPPED OUT 12 Beaches, restrooms, where to walk your dog and more

PEOPLE & PLACES 13 The coolest Seacoast dwellers and scenes

FOOD 15 Eateries and foodie events

POP CULTURE 22 Books, art, theater and classical

NITE LIFE 24 Music, comedy and more

BEACH BUM FUN 26 Puzzles, horoscopes and crazy news Your weekly guide to the coast.

Published every Thursday (1st copy free; 2nd $1).

Seacoast Scene PO Box 961 Hampton NH 03843 603-935-5096 | www.seacoastscene.net

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EVENTS TO CHECK OUT APRIL 11-17, 2019, AND BEYOND Poetry and history

Join Hampton Academy 8th graders as they celebrate National Poetry Month on Thursday, April 18, at 6:30 p.m., at the Tuck Museum of Hampton History, 40 Park Avenue, Hampton. The students will be reading poetry they have written about Hampton history. The public is welcome, and light refreshments will be served. Photo: Left to right are Hampton Academy students Norah Wilcox, Baylee Jacobs and Vivienne Arsenault at Tuck Museum of Hampton History taking instructions from retired teacher Lori Cotter.

Paint with animals

On Thursday, April 11, from 7 to 9 p.m., adults are invited to the Children’s Museum of New Hampshire for a special paint night.

Be inspired by live animal models from the Center for Wildlife, to paint your own masterpiece. Try other animal crafts, nocturnal animal-inspired games and activities. No artistic experience necessary! Cash bar.

Advance online tickets are $10 and will be $12 at the door. Grown-ups only (21+) and ID is required. Buy tickets online at childrensmuseum.org.

Musical laughs

Gardening tips

Companion planting - mixing the rights plants together in the garden - can unleash their natural ability to help each other in repelling pests or enhancing plant growth.

Rita Wollmering, founder and manager of The HERB FARMacy, will explore practical ways of transitioning to organic practices in your gardens and lawns using the principles of companion planting. The presentation will take place on Thursday, April 18, at 6:30 p.m. at the Hampton Falls Free Library. The program is free and open to the public. Visit hamptonfallslibrary.org.

The Seacoast Repertory Theatre (125 Bow St., Portsmouth) presents The Wedding Singer on Thursday, April 11, at 7:30 p.m., Friday, April 12, at 8 p.m., Saturday, April 13, at 2 and 8 p.m. Based on the hit 1998 film starring Adam Sandler, the musical is set in 1985 and follows rock star wannabe and New Jersey’s favorite wedding singer, Robbie Hart. After his bride-to-be leaves him at the altar Robbie makes every wedding as disastrous as his own, until an engaged-to-be-married waitress wins his affection and drives him to put on the performance of the decade. Tickets cost $16 to $44. Visit seacoastrep.org.

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SEACOAST SCENE | APRIL 11-17, 2019 | PAGE 5

How to roll the perfect bites for breakfast, lunch and dessert

BY ROB LEVEY Versatile and relatively easy to make, wraps are a favorite for many people. The question, though, is what makes a wrap stand out? Is there a science behind the art?

The answers vary depending on who you ask, so we break it down.

The basics

According to Dina Williams, owner of Seacoast Soups in North Hampton, a great wrap starts with the ingredients.

“Using quality ingredients is always the best place to start,” she said.

Pat Armstrong, chef at Sea Dog Brewing Co., agrees with Williams.

“In my opinion, the key to a great wrap SEACOAST SCENE | APRIL 11-17, 2019 | PAGE 6

is what you’re putting inside of it,” he said.

“Using fresh, well-seasoned ingredients is important.”

Quality ingredients, however, is just the start.

“Making sure that the contents of each wrap are evenly distributed and in the right proportions is also essential to serving up consistently tasty wraps,” said Williams.

At Laney & Lu in Exeter, Culinary Innovation Chef Elena Faltas said the balance of ingredients is essential.

“The key to making a killer wrap is about balance and having all the right elements,” she said. “You want the perfect blend of crunch, substance, sauce and flavor.”

For Brian and Karen Slez, owners of Ida Mae’s Deli in Seabrook, another key element is the tortilla itself.

“Making a great wrap starts with the tortilla,” said Brian Slez. “It has to be soft and pliable, but not too chewy. We also believe that size matters, so we use a 12-inch wrap, which allows us to fill it up without having it pop open or unwrap while it’s being eaten. No one wants to reassemble their meal.”

At Bucciarelli’s Butcher Shop & Deli in Salisbury, owner Judy Bucciarelli said they only use freshly made wraps from a local bakery.

“If the wrap isn’t fresh, it doesn’t roll

properly as they can dry out,” she said.

“We also have our own rolling technique, which helps keep all the filling secure.

There’s nothing worse than a messy wrap.”

Williams said they have found that for the tortilla, it’s less about its flavor or type than it is its texture and durability.

“There’s nothing worse — either when making or eating a wrap — than having your tortilla spring a leak,” she said.

Warming the tortilla before assembling it is another important step in the wrap construction process, according to Faltas.

“The ideal first step is to steam or warm your wrap to prevent it from tearing,” she said.

Courtesy of Ida Mae’s.

Noting he prefers to make his own flour tortillas when possible, which he said is not difficult, Armstrong said warming it before assembling the wrap is key.

“It helps to warm the wrap in a nonstick pan before stuffing,” he said. “This makes it easier to work with and less likely to tear.”

According to Karen Slez, however, all these elements must be present for a wrap to really work.

“A great wrap not only holds in the ingredients, but it should also have a variety of textures, is visually appealing and, most importantly, taste great,” she said.

“Quality, fresh ingredients are so important to making this happen. You can cut a wrap, but you shouldn’t cut corners.”

According to Brian Slez, the perfect wrap requires not only fresh, quality ingredients, but the proper proportion of them, too.

“Beyond [quality], it is all about the ratio of ingredients and how the wrap is built,” he said.

If someone is getting a roast beef wrap, for instance, he said the meat-to-veggie ratio is going to be higher than in a loaded Italian wrap.

“That’s because when someone is getting roast beef, they often want that to be

the star of the meal, whereas an Italian wrap needs more of a balance of vegetable to complement the meats,” he said.

With that in mind, he said the construction of a lunch wrap in particular needs to be cheese first, followed by meats and then veggies.

“This way, the ingredients that have a tendency to jump out are gently embraced by the meats, encouraging them to stay in the wrap where it’s safe — or so they think,” he laughed.

Get fancy

At Bucciarelli’s Butcher Shop & Deli, Bucciarelli said their two most popular wraps are a Chicken Salad wrap and the Chicken Caesar Salad wrap.

“Our homemade chicken salad with dried cranberries and green apple and our own Lemon Pepper Chicken salad make two delicious wraps that are very popular with our customers,” she said.

She said their Chicken Caesar Salad wrap is made with grilled chicken breast, romaine lettuce, shredded Parmesan cheese, homemade croutons and a thick and creamy Caesar dressing. “[It] looks great cut in half on platters for catering events,” she said.

Noting that all their wraps can be served

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deconstructed as a salad (i.e. minus the tortilla), Williams said they emphasize “crunchy freshness with veggies taking the center stage.” She said meat lovers are not left out, though.

“We offer roasted chicken breast that can be added to any of our wraps and tossed with veggies in any of our … homemade dressings,” she said, which include a house lemon vinaigrette, classic Caesar, Greek dill vinaigrette, Asian peanut-lime vinaigrette, and Mexican chipotle.

According to Armstrong, what you put into a wrap is only limited by your imagination.

“A favorite among the staff at Sea Dog is the Hot Turkey Dinner in a wrap,” he said. “We take house roasted turkey breast, stuffing, mashed potatoes, and gravy and wrap it up in a spinach tortilla.”

Armstrong said you can also make a quick and easy lunch by making a wrap with your leftover dinner from the night before.

“Curry chicken and rice would be great, or turn your leftover tacos into a burrito for lunch the next day,” he said.

Wraps can be sweet as well.

“Make a basic apple pie filling, roll it in a wrap covered in cinnamon and sugar, and bake until golden brown,” said Armstrong. “Drizzle with caramel sauce and top with whipped cream and you have a nice dessert.”

For Bucciarelli, wraps can also provide variety by virtue of the tortilla itself.

“Wraps allow customers more variety because you get to choose the flavor of your wrap where you can’t do that with a sub roll,” she said. “White, spinach, whole wheat and tomato basil are our favorites,

because the color combination makes a pretty presentation when cut in halves and arranged on platters.”

Breakfast any time

According to Faltas, a breakfast wrap is perfect for any time of the day.

“We love a good breakfast wrap,” she said. “It is easy and filling and perfect for on-the-go.”

As for what to put in a breakfast wrap, Stef Heitz, chief creative officer at Laney & Lu, recommended using greens and a hearty grain like quinoa. She said adding fresh vegetables, sauce and eggs makes for “the perfect breakfast wrap.”

“We love using our staple salads and grain bowls as lunch wraps,” she said.

“You can add avocado or nuts to get some healthy fats and really make it substantial.”

If you like things on the sweeter side, she suggested spreading coconut cream, quinoa, crunchy granola, fresh berries and almond butter.

At Laney & Lu, their favorite wrap is a breakfast one. Made with local cheddar, the Huevos Rancheros eats like a cheesy breakfast burrito and is packed with organic spinach, quinoa, black beans, pico de gallo, fried eggs and “a killer avocadocilantro sauce.”

At Bucciarelli’s Butcher Shop & Deli, Bucciarelli said their perfect breakfast wrap is more of a burrito that they make exclusively for Plum Island Coffee Roasters. It consists of eggs, cheddar cheese, chicken sausage and sweet potatoes.

“We also make an egg, bacon and red pepper breakfast wrap and an egg, spinach, mushroom and feta cheese wrap for Chococoa Baking Co.,” she said. “Both

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For Armstrong, a perfect breakfast wrap is all about the basics, which he said includes scrambled eggs, bacon, sausage and cheese.

“I like to jazz it up by adding tater tots and homemade spicy salsa,” he said.

Keeping it healthy

According to Faltas, constructing or sourcing a healthy wrap all comes down to knowing what is in it.

“Fill up your wrap with local, seasonal veggies, and a protein like eggs, nuts or seeds,” she said. “Finish it off by mixing in some hemp seeds, chia seeds or another superfood for added plant power.”

By virtue of their shape, Bucciarelli said, wraps make for a healthier alternative compared to the “bulky bread” of a sandwich.

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coffee shops are enjoying much success with these breakfast wraps as an alternative for something sweet in their cafes.”

According to Brian Slez, the perfect breakfast wrap must have four things: either bacon, ham or sausage, and scrambled eggs, cheese and home fries.

“At Ida Mae’s we call it Zap’s Wrap in honor of Zapstix Surf Shop next door to us,” he said. “We like to fold all the ingredients together like an omelet and roll it up in the tortilla.

He said it then goes back to the grill.

“This extra step requires a bit more time, but it takes the wrap to the next level,” he said. “Doing this not only seals the wrap but it also gives it a bit of a crispy crunch when taking a bite. This is definitely one of our top sellers.”

Nut and Seed Parmesan Cheese (makes 1/2 cup) 1/3 cup raw cashews 2 tablespoons hulled hemp seeds 1 small garlic clove 1 tablespoon nutritional yeast 1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil 1/2 teaspoon garlic powder fine grain sea salt, to taste In a mixing bowl massage kale with Caesar dressing, nut and seed Parmesan, and pepitas. Place mixture onto bottom half of tortilla. Feel free to add in your favorite grilled chicken or salmon, or baked tofu. Fold up from the outside edge of the fillings, tuck sides, and roll until closed.

Spread hummus evenly onto wrap. Place all veggies on one half of wrap. Top with dressing and pepitas. Fold up from the outside edge of the fillings, tuck sides, and roll until closed.

If there is one thing to keep in mind, however, Williams cited the tortilla.

“The biggest calorie culprit is the tortilla itself,” she said.

Armstrong agreed and said that some wraps contain the same number of calories as two slices of bread, or more.

“It’s best to check the nutritional information and compare the two [at the supermarket], he said.

To avoid this issue, he said, a great healthy alternative wrap is lettuce.

“Use crisp iceberg lettuce in place of a flour tortilla,” he said. “Butter lettuce also works well. At the Pub, we feature Buffalo chicken lettuce wraps with cucumber, carrot and ranch on our happy hour menu.”

If using lettuce, Brian Slez offered one caveat, however.

“It becomes more difficult to hold all the ingredients together,” he said. “It’s a great thought, but we wouldn’t necessarily be doing that at Ida Mae’s.”

Featured delis Bucciarelli’s Butcher Shop & Deli 147 Bridge Road, Salisbury bucciarellisbutchershop.com Ida Mae’s Deli 186 Ocean Blvd., Seabrook idamaes.com Laney & Lu 26 Water St., Unit 6, Exeter laneyandlu.com Seacoast Soups 122 Lafayette Road, North Hampton seacoastsoups.com Sea Dog Brewing Co. 9 Water St., Exeter seadogbrewing.com

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™ “You are able to fit in much more veggies and lettuce into a wrap compared to piling them on in a sandwich,” she said.

She said some vegetables they use to great effect in their veggie wraps include sauteed mushrooms, asparagus, broccoli, red and yellow peppers and caramelized onions.

“With a little sprinkle of olive oil and balsamic vinegar, you have a healthy alternative to a cold meat sandwich,” she said.

When ordering out, Bucciarelli said, you can simply ask for fewer cold cuts in your wrap.

At Ida Mae’s in the summer, Karen Slez said they will carry whole-wheat and spinach wraps. Like Bucciarelli, she cited vegetables as their healthy ingredient of choice.

“A healthy wrap can be packed with just veggies, either grilled or raw, while still being really tasty and satisfying,” she noted. “We think people sometimes forget how much flavor you can get from a good variety of vegetables.

For a little more protein, she suggested grilled chicken as always a great choice.

“Grilled chicken and Caesar salad wraps are favorites at Ida Mae’s for sure,” Karen Slez said. “For those people keeping count, calories like to hide in dressings, so going lighter on those is not a bad idea.

As for something a lot of people may not think about or see too much, hummus and tabbouleh make for healthy and delicious additions to a wrap.”

Faltas agreed and said one way to make a wrap healthier is to make your own dressing to avoid added sugars and processed ingredients.

“Mash up an avocado as your spread to keep it simple, or make your own hummus,” she said.

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SEACOAST SCENE | APRIL 11-17, 2019 | PAGE 11

The Scene’s

Coastal Map

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SEACOAST SCENE | APRIL 11-17, 2019 | PAGE 12

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ELISE SLAUSON OWNER OF FLIPPITYFLOP IN EXETER Tell me about your business.

We are an indoor playgym and we currently offer open play, gymnastics classes and parties.

ness for many years and I love that it has actually happened. The kids are somewhat of a given that they are going to have fun, but I really love seeing the adults jump in, too. I love I read on your website that customers feel very that play and exercise is comfortable and familiar very important to you. quickly. I love seeing new Why is that? friendships form between We all do so much sitboth kids and adults. I love ting and staring at screens Elise Slauson. Courtesy photo. when someone requests a and planning of playsong I haven’t heard before. dates and scheduling of activities, I wanted I love when someone creates a new-to-me to offer a place to have fun while playing way of using a piece of equipment. I love and exercising without pressure. I wanted a place where kids and adults can move their when I see adults having hula hoop conbodies and interact with others and use their tests. I love seeing amazing art on our dry imagination and play and build all kinds of erase wall. I love when someone fills out important skills and traits without even real- the waiver online. I love when I find a new thing to add to our space. There’s a lot to izing they are doing it. love here.

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Our concept came about because I was do for fun?

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The Seacoast is perfect because it is genIt must be great to see that happen with erally an active community and families folks, right? are always looking for new adventures.

I secretly love it when a parent expresses Our typical New England weather doesn’t their child will be bored within 30 minhurt either, as it seems on any given day utes, because I often see that same parent during any given season it can be too cold, still here after two hours. The parent and too hot, too humid or too wet. An indoor the child are still playing, still having fun option is always welcome. and still do not want to leave. There are no screens, no direct instruction and no schedIn looking ahead, anything new or uling. I’ll see that same family come back exciting on the horizon for you or your on the same day to sneak in some more fun business?

— we allow re-entry all day. Who can’t use Personally, there are a few gymnastics a little more play? and business conferences coming up this What is your biggest challenge as a summer that I’m hoping to attend — partly for business and partly for fun. Businessbusiness owner? wise, we’re looking into special events and Time. There’s never enough time. continually exploring different revenue What do you love the most about your avenues that are both good for us and good for the community. work?

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SEACOAST SCENE | APRIL 11-17, 2019 | PAGE 13

CAR TALK

A blizzard of complaints for Toyota’s Blizzard Pearl paint

By Ray Magliozzi

Dear Car Talk: I purchased a new, 2012 Toyota RAV4 with the V6 engine and the premium Blizzard Pearl white paint. It now has 53,000 miles on it and runs well. The problem is that the paint is liter-

ally blowing off.

About a month ago, I looked out the window of my house and noticed something fluttering on the roof of the vehicle. It was a sheet of the paint, which by the end of the day had blown off completely. A week later I noticed a small paint bubble on the driver’s rear quarter panel. Apparently, wind and water worked their way under it, and last week a sheet of paint about 12 inches square blew off, too.

I think they call this “paint delamination.”

I call it a major defect. Looking around on the internet, it seems this is a frequent problem, and contacting Toyota has been fruitless. Is this something I can spot-fix or must the entire car be stripped and repainted? It is difficult to justify a $2,000 paint job on a car worth $10,000. Any advice would be appreciated.

— Gordon There’s been a veritable blizzard of complaints about this Blizzard Pearl white paint,

Gordon. In my opinion, this is, without question, a manufacturing defect. For some technical reason, the paint didn’t adhere properly to the primer or the base metal.

And we’ve heard the same stories you have; that Toyota is giving lots of Blizzard Pearl customers the “mechanic’s shrug.” That’s disappointing. I suggest you contact Toyota anyway, and give them a chance to do the right thing and fix your car, even though it’s no longer under warranty. The paint on a seven-year-old car shouldn’t be blowing off in the breeze.

If they stonewall you, then you can do what most of the other Blizzard Pearl owners are doing: Swear you’ll never buy another Toyota. Or you can put signs on your car that say “Another quality Toyota paint job that they refuse to fix,” and park it outside the dealership on Saturdays.

Most people give up in the face of corporate stonewalling. We can’t really blame them.

It’s exhausting and frustrating to fight with a company that has more than enough resources to wear you down and outlast you. So if they don’t help you, and you’re not up for a fight, then you have only two choices: Leave the car as is, or repaint it.

You can’t “touch it up.” The paint job itself has failed, and the car has to be stripped all the

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Dear Car Talk: All my life I’ve noticed that some people veer abruptly to the right onto the shoulder when braking suddenly.

I’ve always wondered if these people are doing this consciously for some reason, or if it’s unconscious, or maybe their brakes are pulling to the right.

If they are doing this intentionally, why?

— James

I think it’s to avoid bashing into the car in front of them, James. If you’re driving along and the car in front of you stops suddenly, what do you do?

OK, what do you do after you’ve run through all your four-letter words?

Well, you slam on your brakes to try to stop before you plow into the car in front of you, right? And if there’s any question about whether you’ll be able to stop in time, you steer your car to the right, onto the shoulder.

You could steer your car to the left, but you’d be driving into oncoming traffic. And Darwinism has already removed most of the “brake and steer left” genes from the human gene pool.

So the shoulder is the obvious place to point the car. If you’re lucky enough to be able to stop in time, no harm done. And if you’re not able to stop in time, you’ll pass the stopped car on the right instead of testing your car’s airbag (Hey, good news, Hon, our airbag works!).

I suppose it’s possible that in some cases, the crown of the road (which slopes down to the right) may direct some cars to the right in an emergency stop, but cars are built to go straight when you hit the brakes.

I’m guessing it’s human ingenuity in action here, James.

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way down, primed, and completely repainted and clear-coated.

If you plan to keep the car for another three to five years (and with only 53,000 miles on it, it should go a lot longer than that), I’d say it’s worth a couple of thousand bucks to repaint the car, and stop hating it every time you look at it. It’ll also make it easier to sell when the time comes.

But before you do that, give Toyota a try.

Don’t be belligerent — at least not a first — but be firm. Tell them you’re really disappointed, you’ve taken good care of the car, and you’re aware that this is a defect. Let them know that they haven’t lost you as a customer — yet.

Maybe they’ll meet you halfway, and agree to pay for half your paint job. And then double the price. Good luck, Gordon.

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From brunches, breakfasts and dinners to special menu items, now is the time to start thinking of how you want to spend Easter Sunday. Below are a few local restaurants, diners, bakeries, function halls and more offering specialty eats for Easter.

Unless otherwise specified in the listing, all brunches, dinners and specials will be served on Easter Sunday, April 21.

• 110 Grill (875 Elm St., Manchester, 836-1150; 27 Trafalgar Square, Nashua, 943-7443; 136 Marketplace Blvd., Rochester, 948-1270; 19 Portsmouth Ave., Stratham, 777-5110; 110grill.com) will offer several Easter brunch specials, from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m., at all its New Hampshire locations, in addition to its regular menu.

Options will include crab and egg flatbread, yogurt parfait, huevos rancheros, chicken and waffles, steak and eggs Benedict, and banana bread French toast with maple syrup and caramel sauce.

• Alnoba (24 Cottage Road, Kensington, 855-428-1985, alnoba.org) will serve an Easter brunch with seatings at 10:30 a.m. and 1 p.m. The brunch will feature buffet selections, a carving station, an omelet station, coffee, tea, fresh fruit and vegetable juices, mimosas, a Bloody Mary bar and more. The cost is $48 for adults and $27 for children under 12.

• Ashworth by the Sea (295 Ocean Blvd., Hampton, 926-6762, ashworthhotel.com) will serve its annual Easter by the Sea brunch buffet from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. in its grand ballroom. The menu will feature seasonal fruits and pastries, vanilla crunch cinnamon French toast, waffles, eggs, an omelet station, a salad bar, carving stations, a dessert station, and lunch items like chicken saltimbocca, butternut squash ravioli, baked Virginia ham and more. The cost is $37.95 for adults, $17.95 for children ages 5 to 12 and free for children under 4.

• CR’s The Restaurant (287 Exeter Road, Hampton, 929-7972, crstherestaurant.com) will be serving its regular dinner menu, with Easter specials, from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. Menu highlights will include escargot, brown sugar-glazed ham, Long Island duck, roasted prime rib of beef, lamb T-bones, shrimp-encrusted halibut, popovers, a tart tower and fresh doughnuts.

• Epoch Restaurant & Bar (The Exeter Inn, 90 Front St., Exeter, 778-3762, epochrestaurant.com) will serve an Easter brunch buffet from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. The menu will include a fresh fruits display, a charcuterie board with local cheeses, a carving station with steamed ham and slow-roasted sirloin, and a dessert station with items like hot cross buns with vanilla custard, bananas Foster flambé a la mode, and house-baked

pies and cookies. The cost is $49.99 for adults and $14.99 for children ages 12 and under. Call or book your reservation online.

• Harvey’s Bakery & Coffee Shop (376 Central Ave., Dover, 742-6029, harveysbakery.com) is taking orders for several specialty items for Easter, including personalized egg cakes, bunny gingerbread and bunny shortbread cookies, and festive decorated Easter cakes and cupcakes.

• Jumpin’ Jay’s Fish Cafe (150 Congress St., Portsmouth, 766-3474, jumpinjays.com) will hold an Easter brunch from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. The menu is subject to change but may include items like eggs Benedict, veggie omelets, braised brisket hash, granola parfaits, challah French toast, haddock piccata and more, plus a raw bar and brunch cocktails. Reservations are recommended.

• Paddy’s American Grille (27 International Drive, Portsmouth, 430-9450, paddysgrille.com) will serve an Easter brunch buffets with options like an omelet station, a meat carving station with honey ham and oven-roasted top round; breakfast items like scrambled eggs, home fries, bacon, sausage, assorted pastries and assorted quiches; appetizers like assorted salads, deviled eggs, shrimp cocktails and a cheese board; and assorted desserts. The cost is $28 for adults and $15 for children ages 12 and under. Bottomless mimosas are also available for an additional $10 for the adult rate of the buffet.

• Wentworth by the Sea Hotel & Spa (588 Wentworth Road, New Castle, 4227322, wentworth.com) will serve an Easter brunch buffet in its ballroom from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m., featuring made-to-order omelets, live carving stations, an assortment of freshly baked pastries and desserts, a raw bar and more. The cost is $59.95 for adults and $25.95 for children under 12.

SEACOAST SCENE | APRIL 11-17, 2019 | PAGE 15

FOOD

AT KERRY’S CULINARY CREATIONS & CURB APPEAL MEALS Kerry Fay knew her business would be a package deal from the start, consisting of a small cafe in Hampton, a catering business and a food truck that travels to festivals and other events all over the Seacoast and beyond. The Michigan native studied culinary arts at the former Le Cordon Bleu school in Dover before opening Kerry’s Culinary Creations (1 Liberty Lane E., Hampton, 838-3825, kerrysculinarycreations.com), which serves lunch every Monday through Friday, offering a menu of homemade soups, build-your-own sandwiches and salads. Additionally, she operates a food truck under the name Curb Appeal Meals; that menu, she said, will change depending on which event the truck appears at but will usually feature staples like avocado fries and slow-roasted pulled pork tacos. You can follow her on Facebook or Instagram @curbappealmeals for updates on other events the truck will appear at. The Scene recently spoke with Fay about her unique approach to the food truck and its differing menu from the cafe.

How long have Kerry’s Culinary Creations & Curb Appeal Meals been around?

The cafe came first, because it was in the wintertime. I didn’t run the truck for the first time until the following spring. It was the spring of 2017.

What makes Kerry’s Culinary Creations & Curb Appeal Meals unique?

The food truck has a different menu from the cafe. When it comes to the truck, a lot of people are just kind of one thing, [like] maybe they are a barbecue truck or a taco truck or maybe they just do cupcakes

SEACOAST SCENE | APRIL 11-17, 2019 | PAGE 16

… so I try to mold the menu toward what the crowds are going to be. That’s also 100 percent the case for catering. If someone hires the truck for catering, I will customize the menu to what they want. I like to experiment so that I don’t have the same things all the time. Lately I’ve been experimenting a lot with egg rolls, so maybe I’ll have things like cheeseburger or buffalo chicken egg rolls.

What is your personal favorite dish?

One favorite of mine is my version of the Cuban sandwich. I call it “Kerry’s Cuban.”

It has my slow-roasted pork, ham, a variety

Kerry’s Culinary Creations & Curb Appeal Meals. Courtesy photos.

of three different shredded cheeses, pickles and my homemade chipotle aioli, and that’s on grilled panini bread.

What is a dish everyone should try?

Our avocado fries are kind of one of the things that we are known for. They are sliced avocados, breaded and deep fried, and they come with my chipotle aioli to dip, so it’s different and it’s unique.

Our pork tacos are also a must-try. We dry rub the pork butt and slow roast it for six hours, and it goes in the taco with the chipotle aioli, some cheese, some fresh salsa and cilantro oil.

What is an essential skill to running a restaurant or food truck?

Stamina and reliability [are] important.

You also need to be able to talk to people, follow through and be dependable to your customers. You should have a good sense of humor and have fun with it.

What is your favorite part of being on the Seacoast?

I like the fact that I’m close to Boston, the mountains and the ocean. We have it all.

— Matt Ingersoll

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SEACOAST SCENE | APRIL 11-17, 2019 | PAGE 18

I often stand in the produce aisle deliberating between two things: Do I pick the one that saves me money or the one with fewer pesticides? If you’re lucky, you may be confronted with another choice: Do I choose local?

My recent trip to the grocery store reminded me of this constant struggle I have. Ideally, everything my family eats would be organic and local in addition to inexpensive. Sadly, that’s not realistic, because eating organic is pricey and most of the food we love can’t be grown year-round in New England.

I recently came across a box of mixed greens at Hannaford with a logo I didn’t recognize: lēf Farms. Located in Loudon, lēf Farms uses hydroponics to grow a mix of baby greens all year round. I could not get the greens into my shopping cart fast enough; the price was good, they don’t use pesticides and they’re local.

The same is true of a few local meat suppliers. Take Vernon Family Farm in Newfields.

In their farm store, they sell pasture-raised chicken that is seriously delicious and raised in a humane way, so you know that your family is getting the best. Plus, the sweetest family owns Vernon Family Farm, which is kind of a step up from the mass-produced chicken from companies like Purdue.

Neither one of these farms is certified USDA Organic, but I am completely fine with it. For one thing, becoming certified is pricey and therefore prohibitive for a lot of small food suppliers. For another, I would rather actually be able to visit the farm from which my food comes and inspect it for myself rath-

lēf Farms greens. Photo courtesy of Allison Willson Dudas.

er than have someone else do the work for me (particularly if that’s a big agency that doesn’t always operate in an efficient manner).

It’s not easy to pick what’s best as there are so many things to consider, from prices to pesticides. So it’s wonderful to see and hear about local farmers doing good work so that we can eat the best of the best.

—Allison Willson Dudas Homemade Ranch Dressing Courtesy of That Low Carb Life Makes 10 servings 1/2 cup mayonnaise 1/2 cup sour cream 1/4 cup heavy cream 2 tablespoons white distilled vinegar 2 cloves garlic minced 2 tablespoons dill 1 tablespoon parsley 1 teaspoon chives 1 teaspoon onion powder 1 teaspoon salt Toss all ingredients together and enjoy!

DRINK

Shaking it up

Breweries continue to innovate with IPAs

What’s in My Fridge Smoke & Dagger Black Lager by Jack’s Abby Craft Lagers (Framingham, Mass.): The pour is black as night but just chill, this brew isn’t nearly as robust and heavy as it appears. It’s smooth, complex and flavorful with big notes of smoky coffee and chocolate. But again, this isn’t super heavy. One of my favorites — cheers!

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Over at Able Ebenezer Brewing Co. in Merrimack, where brewers are “hungry for complex challenges,” says the website, the team recently introduced its own experimental line: “Ingenuity.”

“It’s an experimental line we do solely in-house, one batch at a time,” said Carl Soderberg, co-founder, Able Ebenezer Brewing Co. Able Ebenezer recently released the second batch of Ingenuity, though you may already be too late to try it. Able Ebenezer will have its next batch ready for summer. Stay tuned.

At Stoneface Brewing Co. in Newington, beer drinkers can enjoy Imaginary Cartwheel, an experimental IPA with big notes of pineapple and citrus. And, at Throwback Brewery in North Hampton, look for Enjoy the Day, an experimental “brut” IPA. That’s just the tip of the iceberg. Now it’s up to you to be bold and to see where your taste buds take you.

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Jeff Mucciarone is an account manager with Montagne Communications, where he provides communications support to the New Hampshire wine and spirits industry.

Bell’s Two Hearted Ale I recently read a piece in the Boston Globe about Bell’s Two Hearted Ale, which is an American IPA. The article offered lofty praise for the brew, which is fairly readily available in New England. I had seen the interesting label, which features a trout, but I’d never tried it.

The article made it clear that I should try it.

Bell’s Brewery, which is based in Michigan, has been making the Two Hearted Ale for more than 20 years, so we’re talking way before people ever even thought about calling an IPA juicy.

The brew is everything you’d want an IPA to be in a wonderfully balanced package that features an explosion of hops, beautiful citrus and pine notes, pleasing bitterness and a lingering finish that begs another sip. Is it the perfect IPA? I don’t know, but if you have never tried it, you absolutely should. You won’t be disappointed.

BEST SUMMER EVER

In today’s craft beer movement, brewers can’t really accept the status quo. Well, that’s actually a half-truth.

If you develop a brew that is a game winner, a brew that brings in beer lovers from far and wide, you can absolutely roll with that unaltered recipe in perpetuity — but it certainly seems like you had better be doing some experimenting or innovating with other brews along the way.

Take the infamous Heady Topper, often referred to as the best beer on the planet. The brewers at the Alchemist in Vermont have rolled with the Heady Topper as their flagship brew for years, but they didn’t stop innovating. The Heady Topper remains unchanged, as far as I know, but the Alchemist offers a tremendous range of brews.

With so many coveted brews, particularly IPAs, it seems like brewers are very nearly required to constantly explore new things.

And that’s the point of my long-winded analogy: variety is the spice of life, or well, variety is a big part of what makes the craft beer movement special. Craft beer enthusiasts like to shake things up — at least I do.

In fact, I’m so crazy, I rarely drink the same brew twice in a row. I know. Try to keep up.

Good news for me and for you, breweries in New Hampshire and beyond are relentless innovators, especially when it comes to IPAs. Many breweries now feature rotating series, small batches of particular styles where brewers are constantly tweaking and experimenting.

Great North Aleworks in Manchester recently released its latest IPA iteration from its rotating New England IPA series called Hazy Rotation. The latest batch was brewed by the women of Great North Aleworks for the Pink Boots Society, which was “created to assist, inspire and encourage women beer industry professionals to advance their careers through education,” according to the website.

“This batch is very tropical fruit forward, pineapple and papaya,” said Brian Parda of Great North Aleworks. “Smooth, with little bitterness.”

Parda suggested pairing this brew with something Mexican, something “cheesy and rich with maybe a little spice,” or maybe some barbecue.

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SEACOAST SCENE | APRIL 11-17, 2019 | PAGE 19

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SEACOAST SCENE | APRIL 11-17, 2019 | PAGE 20

What do a stunning solarium, an abundance of flowers and a group of creativity-inclined senior citizens have in common? They’re all important elements of Rye Art in Bloom, an annual celebration displaying select works of art alongside their flower arrangement interpretations.

The event is getting ready to kick off its 19th year of floral fun at the assisted living facility Webster at Rye on Friday, April 12. In conjunction with the Rye Recreation Department, Webster at Rye collects the works of 30 different artists and pairs each piece with a flower arranger who in turn renders their own floral depiction of the creator’s art.

Rather than bring in the work of faraway outside artists, or stick to one artistic medium for the flower arrangers to interpret, Rye Art in Bloom champions local creatives who range in age and artistic approaches.

“Every year we add different people; some of them are residents over at Webster at Rye, and this year, for the first time, we have a child who has artwork she is going to exhibit,” said Vicki Loring, the administration and programs assistant at Rye Recreation. “[As far as] the mediums for the artists, we have watercolors, sculptures, photography, acrylic oils, fabric — and the little girl is doing oil pastels. So it’s a wide variety of mediums for the artwork.”

Beginning with an opening reception on the evening of Friday, April 12, at 5:30 p.m., Rye Art in Bloom kicks off with a presentation of flower pins, each engraved with the year and given to the participants as a token of gratitude and commemoration.

This is followed by socialization, food via Webster at Rye’s kitchen staff, who serve “a lot of finger food, punch [and] wine” according to Loring, and the most important part of the evening: the viewing of the artists’ and arrangers’ months of hard work. Ending at 8:30 p.m., the event spills over into Saturday from 1 to 4 p.m. for more casual observation hours.

While Rye Recreation and Webster at Rye are responsible for hosting and organizing the event, many of those who work behind the scenes also participate themselves, trying their hand at the spring-influenced artwork.

Karen Johnson, the marketing and development director at Webster at Rye, has participated in the event for nine years now, and often contributes two flower arrangements and two paintings each year.

Art in Bloom 2016. Courtesy photos.

“I love flowers, I love art and I love Webster,” Johnson said. “So I said, ‘You can count on me.’ Whenever they need extra, I do two. I love doing it.”

In Johnson’s near decade of experience running and organizing Rye Art in Bloom, she has found that very little has changed over the years as far as execution and planning for the annual event.

While Johnson didn’t work at Webster at Rye when Art in Bloom first started 19 years ago, she recalls the story of Kerry Robertson, the former activity director of Webster at Rye, who initially brainstormed the event with Lee Arthur, the current director of Rye Recreation. Back in 2001, the duo were both new to their respective positions and were looking for an annual event that would bring the surrounding communities together as winter ended.

“They wanted to do something that would involve the community at large and residents at Webster,” Johnson said.

“They based it on the Museum of Fine Arts in Boston — they do an Art in Bloom, but this is Rye Art in Bloom. What makes us different is some of the artists are residents here at Webster at Rye.” Johnson continuously emphasized the artists, participants and organizers as the driving force of the annual event, stating that Rye Art in Bloom’s embracement of community stems from all those involved.

No matter a person’s age or experience with art and floral arrangements, all are

welcome and encouraged to participate in Rye Art in Bloom.

“I like to really point out what’s new and different every year are the artists and the arrangements, because they’re people you would often never even imagine would be doing this,” Johnson said. “Like the 86-year-old gentleman, a volunteer, who has never been a flower arranger in his life and is deciding this year to participate. Because he said, ‘Sure, why not, I’ve never done that before.’ … These are people in their 80s, 90s, into their early 100s. Some of these people had done incredible paintings in their younger years … because even if they haven’t done the painting recently, it’s a recognition of their accomplishments. It’s really stunning to see what people are capable of.”

Most of all, Johnson loves the event’s inclusivity and its celebration of spring, nature and new life, explaining that Rye Art in Bloom stands as a bright symbol of hope for many of the residents at Webster at Rye. “I look forward to it because it’s really truly a harbinger of spring,” Johnson said. “People are in the winter of their lives a lot here. It just shows that … hope is eternal. Hope always comes. And hope is in — when you see these pictures — just the beauty and the hopefulness of pictures, the beauty and the hopefulness of flowers.”

— Caleb Jagoda

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At this hands-on workshop, learn all about this fun and beautiful technique! colo !ese colorful decorated eggs are created by using a wax resist method on a real egg.

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POP CULTURE Outer Order, Inner Calm, by Gretchen Rubin (Harmony Books, 215 pages) Gretchen Rubin is a happiness expert, a real one, not someone who cast about for a way to become famous, self-published a book and began billing herself as an expert without any convincing credentials.

Rubin became a happiness expert circuitously, after having earned a law degree from Yale and deciding she didn’t really want to be a lawyer. She embarked on a year-long effort to be happier, resulting in the 2009 book The Happiness Project, which sold well and was a solid addition to the “I spent a year doing this and look how great my life is now” genre.

The book was pleasantly conversational and reasonably footnoted. It gave rise to more books, including Happier at Home and Better than Before, and gave Rubin an impressive social media following. She also has a podcast (“Happier with Gretchen Rubin”) that has been downloaded more than 70 million times.

There is a troubling sign, however, that Rubin, who once clerked for Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O’Connor, is running out of things to say. Ger latest, Outer Order, Inner Calm, is a shocking waste of natural resources, especially in the month in which we’re supposed to honor the Earth. Devoid of research and personality, the book is the sort that usually arrives in bookstores in November, hastily assembled for exasperated shoppers and infested with platitudes. Maybe the purpose was similar; Mother’s Day looms.

Do not inflict this book on your mother.

The best thing that can be said about it is that it is better than Margareta Magnusson’s atrocious The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning of 2018, but it is worse than Marie Kondo’s The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, which started the clean-till-you’re-happy craze in 2014.

And while clearly borrowing the idea, much like Robin Hood borrowed from the rich, Rubin waits until the waning pages of her book to acknowledge Kondo, and then insults her by sniffing at Kondo’s nowfamous question (to ask when we’re deciding whether to keep something), “Does this spark joy?”

Rubin does not find this question “particularly helpful.”

“For me, focusing on ‘energy’ rather than ‘joy’ provides more clarity,” she says, suggesting that people should ask themselves, “Does this energize me?”

That’s the sort of knockoff found on the side streets of New York. But the book’s main problem is not that it echoes Kondo so blandly, but that it does so without adding anything new to the conversation. Rubin, with her two Yale degrees, could do so much better. She does hit the occasional single with phrases like “visual noise” (one of her descriptions for clutter) and “deep clutter,” which she describes as clutter that is “well organized and put away neatly” but still qualifies as clutter because it’s not “used, needed, or loved.”

I also liked her line, “If you need to buy things to store things, perhaps you have too many things.” Also, on what may be the most important page of the book, she gives us all permission to get finally let go of the woolen guilt in our lives. “Get rid of that single mitten,” she says. (You’ll find its mate the day after the trash is collected, but that’s another story.)

But you’ll have to sift through a pile of platitudes to find any specks of gold here, and there are paragraphs, even pages, that are actually insulting, as when she suggests we can improve our lives by changing the kitty litter and using a coat rack or closet to hang our coats. We should also toss unnecessary papers, clear clutter when we can’t sleep at night and not buy souvenirs. And so forth.

There’s also some advice here that simply bewilders. “Keep pens, a notepad, Scotch tape, and a pair of scissors in every room. Life is much easier when you have the tools you need right within reach.”

Scissors, I get. Pens and a notepad, too.

But I’m still scratching my head over what I would do with Scotch tape in a bathroom.

Most frustrating of all is Rubin’s repeated assurances that her advice is not one-size-fitsall. Rather than boldly stating the promise of her title — outer order produces inner calm — she qualifies it meekly throughout the book. “For most of us, outer order contributes to inner calm.” (Italics are mine.) For most of us, these suggestions will work.

And midway through the book that is supposed to convince us clutter is making us crazy, she says, in effect, “or not.” Some people are unaffected by clutter, she says. “If you don’t care, don’t bother.” (Italics are hers.)

A fresh, smart manifesto that motivates the nation to clean, a literal call to order, would be great to read in the first few weeks of spring.

Disappointingly, this is not it. Don’t bother.

D — Jennifer Graham

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SEACOAST SCENE | APRIL 11-17, 2019 | PAGE 24

With a radiant smile and uninhibited nature, David “Biscuit” Miller is a natural band leader and a perfect fit for The Grog’s weekly blues event in Newburyport. Music was a path that chose Miller; born and raised on the South Side of Chicago, he caught the bug at an early age after seeing Willie Dixon and Lucky Peterson perform at his elementary school.

It was in the water; Rolling Stones touring guitarist Darrell Jones was just one of many childhood friends who went on to professional music. But Miller took a different path, choosing to lay down the rhythm on bass guitar rather than play lead.

He found his instrument accidentally.

“It was sitting in front of me at my friend’s house; I just picked it up started beating on it,” Miller said by phone from a tour stop in Florida.

The bass belonged to an older brother, who came upstairs when he heard the racket.

“He hollered at me, ‘Why you touching my bass?’ I put it down, and he said, ‘I was joking man — let me show you something.’”

After working in several bands and moving to Minneapolis, Miller inevitably found the spotlight.

He spent the ’90s backing Lonnie Brooks, and formed Biscuit Miller & The Mix at decade’s end. But even with his name on the marquee, Miller at first stuck to the background.

“I was thinking like Kool and the Gang,” he said. “He was the bass player — didn’t sing. He still [doesn’t]. I thought that’s what I need to do is put the band together. One day my guitar player said, ‘You should learn to sing at least a couple of songs. We’re doing all the work and it’s your band.’”

Miller’s at a loss to explain why it took him so long.

“I was first dancing to James Brown, Four Tops, I was always that kid in my family,” he said. “All I had to do was put the record on, I never was shy. ... Sometimes I think I should have been up front a long time ago, ‘cause I enjoy it so much, tell you the truth.”

As his nickname suggests, Miller likes songs about food. The title cut of his last studio album, Wishbone, was inspired by Thanksgiving dinner, and he even came up with a new song called “Chicken Grease” at the Grog.

“I said, ‘I want some chicken, and give me some of that chicken grease,’ and I went, ‘Ooh, there’s a song in there!’ I

Courtesy photo.

started singing it in the car, but the first words came in the Grog,” he said.

He became Biscuit Miller after upending a family dinner as a youngster.

“My grandma was cooking one weekend and she made handmade biscuits, rolled them up and sprinkled them with sugar. I kept sneaking in to take one or two. By the time we ate dinner there was probably one, maybe two in the basket.

She was so mad,” he said.

Though his family teased him, the name didn’t stick until he started performing. One night he and his bandmates got to talking about childhood, and Miller told his tale.

“I said, ‘I remember when I almost got my butt whooped.’ We were drinking, having fun. ... One of my buddies said, ‘We gotta start calling you that again.’ So he would introduce me as Biscuit on the bass,” he said.

Miller is looking forward to returning to the Grog.

“I love coming there ’cause it’s a good jam, they’re putting it down,” he said.

“From the first note they’re dancing until you stop playing; it’s crazy. It’s a fun place, and I had no idea when I went there the first time what was gonna happen. I love that people love to dance, because I’m a hyper guy and we love to have fun.”

— Michael Witthaus Biscuit Miller & The Mix When: Sunday, April 14, 6 p.m.

Where: The Grog, 13 Middle St., Newburyport, Mass.

Tickets: $10 at eventbrite.com

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65 See-through 66 Exhausted 67 “Your excellency”

12 Smoke, informally 13 “Over here” 21 Renaissance ___ 22 Sign of oxidation 27 Opposing opinion 28 Serf 30 Boggy area 31 Fizzle out 32 Cartoon skunk Pepé 36 “Mad Men” star Jon 37 Reunion attendee 38 Petroleum product and longtime pageant secret used on teeth (ew) 39 Prime seating choice 40 Sandal strip 42 Karaoke selection 43 Harvard color 45 Park employee Down 46 Big name in baby food 1 Strengthen, as security 47 And others, in footnotes 48 Painter’s purchase 2 Custard-filled pastry 3 Ireland’s ___ Bay 49 TV Street celebrating a 50th 4 Boat’s bottom anniversary 5 Chest bone 55 More than enough, for some 6 Detonation sound 56 Currency symbol that looks like 7 Physical, e.g. a C crossed with an equals sign 8 Pictographical Zapf typeface 57 Some humongous ref. books characters 58 Electronics dept. displays 9 Selena’s music genre 59 “You think that’s the right 10 Carolina Panthers safety Reid answer??”

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• Aries (March 21-April 19): The best things in life are free. Still, consider the benefits of leasing.

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• Leo (July 23-Aug. 22): Today’s a good day to buy a lottery ticket. Not that you’ll win, but you can at least cling desperately to hope.

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• Gemini (May 21-June 20): All your needs will be taken care of today.

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• Cancer (June 21-July 22): I’ll put it this way: If our lives were road signs, yours would read “Pavement Ends.”

• Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Today you resolve to give up gambling.

Wanna bet you can’t stick with it?

• Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Life may be a banquet for some, but you’re at a rest stop with only vending machines.

• Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Today you will have a spring in your step, but a screw will come loose somewhere else.

• Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20): In case of fire, break glass. If glass is already broken, then there’s no emergency.

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SEACOAST SCENE | APRIL 11-17, 2019 | PAGE 27

BEACH BUM FUN ROCKANDROLLCROSSWORDS.com BY TODD SANTOS

ALL THESE LABELS!

29. Label during hip hop/boy bands’ success (4,7) 35. ‘The Lace’ Benjamin, post-Cars 17. ‘91 hit Joe Walsh album/song ‘__ 36. ‘You’re Not Alone’ trip hoppers that Across 1. Cee-Lo gets this kind of ‘Metal’ from __ Guy’ (8,7) use oil for cooking?

20. Target demographic for pop, 37. Miami Sound Machine ‘Falling In the recycling yard perhaps 6. Sets Love’ song (hyph) 10. Christina Aguilera song about a 21. US govt radio (abbr) 38. 07’ Izzy Stradlin’ album titled after 22. Wiped away take snowman’s mouth prop? major Florida city 23. Duff McKagan band (abbr) 14. Haley of Orgy 40. What band hits when almost signed?

25. Like fit stars, pre-tour 15. ‘All Right Now’ band 41. ‘Still Da Baddest’ femme fatale 16. Nickelback might go very ‘Far __’ 26. Stage prompt 42. What a natural plays with 43. Golden __ Award 45. Trey Anastasio ‘Land Of __’ 46. 60s band w/”California Sun” (3,8) 49. Northwestern Everclear home state, for short 50. Peter Gabriel classic ‘Red __’ 51. Sublime song influenced by ‘Plush’ band?

53. Rod Stewart ‘__ __ Goes By...The Great American Songbook Vol II’ (2,4) 56.

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Down 1. #1 song gets to the top one 2. What Phil Collins doesn’t do ‘Anymore’ 3. Billy Idol ‘Mony Mony’ exclamation “__ your pony!”

4. Elderly rockers show signs of this 5. Might use a ballpoint one to write song 6. 60s rocker hairdo 7. Lyle Lovett ‘Don’t __ __ Tear’ (3,1) 8. Nirvana “Sit and drink pennyroyal __” 9. Like sickness so bad it causes a cancellation 10. ‘06 Papa Roach album ‘The __ Sessions’ 11. ‘02 Elvis Costello album ‘When __ __ Cruel’ (1,3) 12. Jimmy that jammed with The Black Crowes 13. Black __ Peas 18. ‘Complicated’ Lavigne 19. ‘Homeboy’ Church 24. English production duo (hyph)

25. Pearl Jam ‘___ Christ’ 26. Ace Frehley band Frehley’s __ 27. ‘Demons And Wizards’ __ Heep 28. What you do to the tapes of bad recording 30. Richard Branson-owned label 31. Blackhearted UK thrash band?

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33. Giver of instrument to charity 34. Urban Dance Squad ‘Deeper __ Of Soul’ 39. Like happiest fan in the crowd 41. Audition 44. Manager will have them covered, slang 47. Poison “Look what I’ve done __ shooting star” (1,2,1) 48. Fray song about Austria?

52. ‘The Missing Years’ sing/songer John 53. Ounsworth Of Clap Your Hands Say Yeah 54. American label founded in ‘66 55. __ __ The Radio (2,2) 56. Michael Jackson & Paul McCartney ‘The Girl Is __’ 57. It was her ‘Song’, to Silverchair 59. Like unwritten deal w/agency 60. Norwegian popster Maria 61. Like tense image 63. Who song on Townshend’s ‘Iron Man’ musical that needs shovels?

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NEWS OF THE WEIRD BY ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION

Dumb and dumber

Rogers, Arkansas, neighbors Charles Eugene Ferris, 50, and Christopher Hicks, 36, were hanging out on Ferris’ back porch on March 31, drinking and enjoying the spring air. Ferris was wearing his bulletproof vest — because why not? — and invited Hicks to shoot him with a .22-caliber semi-automatic rifle. KFSM reported the vest blocked the bullet from striking Ferris, but it still hurt and left a red mark on his upper chest. Next, Hicks donned the vest and Ferris “unloaded the clip into Christopher’s back,” according to the police report, also leaving bruises. That’s where it all would have ended had Ferris not gone to the hospital, where staff alerted the Benton County Sheriff’s Office. Ferris initially told officers an elaborate story about being shot while protecting “an asset” in a dramatic gunfight, but Ferris’ wife spilled the beans about the back-porch challenge. Both men were arrested for suspicion of aggravated assault.

Quirky

In downtown Borrego Springs, California, a curious sign tops a 5-foot-tall post in front of the Anza-Borrego Desert Natural History Association gift shop: “This Post Not Currently In Use.” Mike McElhatton, the association’s education director, told The San Diego Union Tribune: “When I started working (here) I saw this post that ... had obviously been there for a long time. At first I just wondered what in the heck was the post for and then I got the idea to put a sign on it.”

McElhatton seemed disappointed with the response, though: “Amazingly, we don’t get a whole lot of comment about it. I’ve seen people walk up and they just look at the sign and they just keep going.”

Why not?

Lawrence University in Appleton, Wisconsin, tried a new venue for staging an opera on March 30 and 31: underwater. “Breathe: A Multidisciplinary Water Opera” featured dancers, percussionists, singers, a flute and other orchestra instruments -- some above water, some below. Composer and musical director Loren Kiyoshi Dempster told WLUK TV he was skeptical at first. “It’s been kind of one of the great surprises of my life that you could play cello underwater,” he said. A device used by marine biologists to record underwater sounds delivered the music above the surface for audience members.

Police report

On March 29, in a suburb of Stockholm, Sweden, an off-duty police

SEACOAST SCENE | APRIL 11-17, 2019 | PAGE 30

officer was enjoying a nice sauna when he noticed that another man in the sauna was a fugitive wanted for aggravated assault, among other offenses. They recognized each other, police spokesperson Carina Skagerlind told the Associated Press, and “the naked police officer calmly told the man that he should consider himself arrested.” The officer called for backup, and “the arrest was undramatic,” she added.

Oops!

• Harris County (Texas) Civil Court Judge Bill McLeod, who was sworn in last November, accidentally resigned on April 1, but it wasn’t an April Fools’ joke. Reuters reported that McLeod shared his plan online to run for the state supreme court without realizing that such an announcement amounts to a resignation, according to the state’s constitution.

McLeod himself did not comment on the gaffe, but county commissioners may be able to keep him in office until a special election can be held.

• Detroit police say they can’t confirm what made an unnamed 50-year-old man shoot himself in the foot on March 19, but rumor has it that he was aiming for something entirely different. WDIV TV reported that the man, who uses a wheelchair, was trying to kill a cockroach by throwing his shoe at it; the shoe contained his handgun, and it fell out of the shoe and discharged, striking his foot.

Police said the man was in stable condition after the incident.

bank account. So it went for Brian Couture, 40, of Forest Grove, Oregon, who is accused of going to elaborate lengths to skim more than $700 of Girl Scout cookie money from his daughter. Forest Grove police responded to a 911 call at Couture’s home on March 6, where the man said an intruder had entered his home and struggled with him. When police arrived, according to KPTV, Couture was “unresponsive” and was taken to the hospital with undisclosed injuries, while K9 units set out to look for the thief around the neighborhood, alarming residents. Police said Couture later admitted to investigators that he had staged the whole thing, but at his hearing on March 29, he pleaded not guilty to initiating a false report.

The money, according to a Girl Scouts spokeswoman, is still unaccounted for.

Weird science

In Cachoeira Alta, Brazil, Judge Filipe Luis Peruca handed down an unusual judgment in a paternity case that involved identical twin potential fathers. The mother of a young girl filed a paternity suit against Twin A, who accused Twin B of being the actual father, reported the

BBC. DNA tests showed an equal probability for the two men to be the father, so Judge Peruca ordered them both to pay maintenance for the daughter. As a result, she will receive twice as much as she would with only one father. “One of them is acting in bad faith in order to hide the fact that he is the father,” the judge wrote.

“Such vile behavior cannot be tolerated by the law.”

Awesome!

The harsh winter left many city streets around the country riddled with potholes, but in Muskegon Heights, Michigan, one 12-year-old boy is not waiting for the slow-moving government to fix them.

Monte Scott started filling potholes around his neighborhood with dirt from his own yard in late March. “I didn’t want people messing up their cars like my mom did,” Scott told WZZM13. They “would have to pay like $600 to $700 to get their car fixed, they would be mad.” His mom, Trinell Scott, said, “That’s just the type of kid he is. He’s a good kid and there are a lot like him in the community.”

Visit newsoftheweird.com.

Least competent criminals

• Who has time to bother with long lines and bureaucracy at the driver’s license office? Not Mr. Tang of Liuzhou, China, who was pulled over for a routine check as he rode his silver motorcycle on March 31. Tang was happy to produce his license, carried in the customary cover, reported Oddity Central. But when officers examined it, they realized it was homemade. “He behaved very calmly as he took out the license,” a traffic police officer said. “But I was shocked when I saw what was inside.” Tang had simply written all the pertinent information found on a standard driver’s license on a piece of lined notebook paper, then glued a photo of himself to the paper. When pressed for an explanation, Tang said he was too lazy to study for the license exam and didn’t want to spend the money on driving classes. He thought a handwritten license would be better than nothing at all. “I didn’t expect the traffic police to be so serious,” Tang said.

• Where others see innocent little girls raising money for educational programs, some see an opportunity to pad their

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