Seacoast Scene 4/18/19 by Seacoast Scene

APRIL 18 - 24, 2019

Sounds All-or igina

Meet local bands that play their own music at local venues

A WORD FROM LARRY

Master McGrath’s

Grocery spree Did you ever watch the old TV game show Supermarket Sweep? Well on Saturday, April 27, at 8 a.m. more than 50 members of Hampton Rotary Club, as well as family and friends, Larry Marsolais will be doing a shopping spree at the Seabrook Market Basket for six local food pantries. This is how our version works: Everyone will have a $100 gift card and a list of items that are requested. Then they will go up and down the aisles, filling their carts, cashing out and then delivering the goods to the pantries for a total of $5,000 donated by Hampton Rotary and Loco Running. Many of the regular shoppers are amazed and some of them join in

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with their own donations. This is the time of year when the food is getting low and if you would like to contribute, please come join us and make a donation. If you like yard sales, there are a couple of great ones coming up on May 4, at the United Methodist Church on Lafayette Road in Hampton and First Congregational Church on Winnacunnet Road in Hampton. Finally, from all of us at the Scene, happy Easter! As always feel free to call me anytime at 603-935-5096 to discuss local issues or to place an ad. Larry Marsolais is the general manager of the Seacoast Scene and the former president of the Hampton Rotary Club.

KARAOKE

Come sing...or just sing along!

THURSDAY & FRIDAY NIGHTS 8pm - Midnight

APRIL 18 - 24, 2019 VOL 44 NO 8

BREAKFAST SERVED

Advertising Staff

Sat & Sun 8am-2pm

Larry Marsolais Seacoast Scene General Manager 603-935-5096 larry@seacoastscene.net

Friday Special Fried Clam Plate Saturday Special (4pm on) Roast Prime Rib of Beef Au Jus

Editorial Staff Editor Meghan Siegler editor@seacoastscene.net

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www.MasterMcGraths.com

SEACOAST SCENE | APRIL 18 - 24, 2019 | PAGE 2

Have an event or a story idea for the Seacoast Scene? Let us know at: editor@seacoastscene.net Unsolicited submissions are not accepted and will not be returned or acknowledged. Unsolicited submissions will be destroyed. 125804

Harsh Armadillo. Photo by Shado Congalton of Mirth Films.

COVER STORY 6 All-original sounds

MAPPED OUT 12 Beaches, restrooms, where to walk your dog and more

PEOPLE & PLACES 13 The coolest Seacoast dwellers and scenes

FOOD 16 Eateries and foodie events

POP CULTURE 22 Books, art, theater and classical

NITE LIFE 24 Music, comedy and more

BEACH BUM FUN 26 Puzzles, horoscopes and crazy news Your weekly guide to the coast. Published every Thursday (1st copy free; 2nd $1). Seacoast Scene PO Box 961 Hampton NH 03843 603-935-5096 | www.seacoastscene.net

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4 SHORE THINGS

EVENTS TO CHECK OUT APRIL 18 - 24, 2019, AND BEYOND Femme forum

A women’s social club hosts All Girls Open Mic. Led by Brenna Lilly, it invites all forms of expression to perform, be it interpretive dance, poetry, comedy, live painting, music or whatever. The private group describes itself as “the manifestation of the dream that [women] are better together ... strongest and most beautiful when they hold each other up.” Go Sunday, April 21, 5:30 p.m, Avalon North, 1 Washington St., Dover. See facebook.com/ patriarchynothanks.

Celebrate Earth Day

The Children’s Museum of New Hampshire in Dover is holding an Earth Day Celebration on Monday, April 22, with crafts, activities and give away bags while supplies last, according to the website. The events are part of the admission to the museum, which costs $10 per person for everyone over 1 years old ($9 for seniors age 65+). The museum is open Tuesdays through Saturdays from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. (plus the special Earth Day Monday) and Sunday from noon to 5 p.m. (closed for Easter). Visit childrens-museum.org.

On stage

Fearon Productions presents Henrik Ibsen’s drama A Doll’s House at the Players’ Ring Theatre in Portsmouth April 19 through May 5, with showtimes on Friday and Saturday at 8 p.m., and Sunday at 3 p.m. Tickets cost $18 for adults and $14 for seniors and students. Visit playersring.org. The Rochester Performance and Arts Center in Rochester presents Little Bits of Light on Thursday, April 18, at 10 a.m., Friday, April 19, at 10 a.m. and 7:30 p.m., and Saturday, April 20, at 2 and 7:30 p.m. The play is an adaptation of the book I Never Saw Another Butterfly, which interweaves poems and artwork from children at the concentration camp Terezin with major historical events and the playwright Amanda Faye Martin’s own family history. Tickets cost $15. Visit rochesteroperahouse.com. Image of A Doll’s House at the Players’ Ring.

Tea party time

The Hampton Falls Free Library in Hampton Falls is hosting its annual Parent/Child Tea Party Wednesday, April 24, from 3 to 4:30 p.m. This is a chance for everyone to dress up (moms and dads or grandparents or other caregivers, as well as the girls and boys) and enjoy a lovely afternoon at the library! There is a sign-up as space is limited. Visit hamptonfallsfreelibrary. org.

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SEACOAST SCENE | APRIL 18 - 24, 2019 | PAGE 5

Sounds

At The Press Room on the final two nights of 2018, the venerable Portsmouth live music institution put an exclamation point on its recent return with a sweaty, funk-fueled performance from Harsh Armadillo. Both shows sold out, quite a feat for a local group playing all originals, but it’s something the seven-piece combo has done with alacrity since breaking out from its UNH beginnings a few years ago. These days, though, many nightclubs eschew original songs as anathema to business. Some have stopped offering live music altogether. A few blocks away from the Press Room, Martingale Wharf recently shut down its bandstand.

SEACOAST SCENE | APRIL 18 - 24, 2019 | PAGE 6

All-or igina

Photo: Cold Engines

by Michael Witthaus

Along with the challenges of getting paid for recorded music well enough to earn a living – Google “Spotify royalties” for proof — many up and coming acts struggle against venues that aren’t interested in unfamiliar songs. One of New Hampshire’s best bands is Conniption Fits, a power trio with a few albums of infectious pop rock that’s singular, hook-filled, radio-ready. In the club scene, however, they do covers for steady work. But Harsh Armadillo and others like them keep swimming against the tide, playing their own songs on their own terms. Chris O’Neill is the founder of Amorphous Band, a jammy quartet that’s been

around since the early 2000s. He’s also the booker at Umami, a farm-to-table restaurant in Northwood that brings in great acts every weekend. O’Neill is optimistic about the future of bands like his, but warns them to keep a thick skin. “I think it’s always a good time to be an original musician, even if it might be more of a tragic story sometimes,” he said. “But it’s definitely always what you make of it. You have to have some entrepreneurial spirit, and you gotta roll with technology, maintain some integrity towards what you are trying to do.” He also thinks his home state does a good job of nurturing talent.

“A lot of people decide, hey, I like New Hampshire. Actually, that’s a big part of why I’m staying in this area ... so how do I fit music into that? Turns out, it’s actually pretty good when you talk to people from across the country.” Michael Bernier is the leader of roots reggae band Freevolt and host of Evolution Radio, an internationally syndicated show more commonly called EvoRad. Bernier’s a big believer in the regional scene, booking several venues in and around his home base of Newburyport. “My mission is supporting creative people, with the idea in mind that you can do your own thing,” he said. “There’s a way

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to make it happen, and I want to make sure I’m supporting the independent person.” Here are a few bands with the fortitude to persevere, and some venues willing to give them space to be heard. It’s a list intended to be representative, not comprehensive; a bit of searching will inevitably lead to more. Any who care about a creative community should take that plunge.

gle “Gone” from 2015’s River Child. The latter hard-charging song garnered radio airplay and acted as a harbinger of bigger things to come. Where they’ve played: Fury’s Publick House, Pit Road Lounge, Lilac City Grille Next shows: East Side Club on April 27; Dover Brickhouse on May 3; Village Trestle on May 18

THE BANDS

Sarah Blacker & New England Groove Collective

Amorphous Band

What they’re about: Beginning in the early 2000s, this four-piece amalgamation of soul, jazz, funk and reggae has provided a steady anchor to the local scene. Mixing in a few hand-picked vocal covers with original instrumentals, their live shows are popular throughout New England. Current lineup is what founder Chris O’Neill playfully calls “the three Chrises,” him on guitar, Chris Noyes on bass and Chris Sink on keys, with drummer George Laliotis. Where they’ve played: Strange Brew, Penuche’s Concord, Stone Church, Umami Next show: May 25 at the Press Room

Red Sky Mary

What they’re about: Zeppelin-esque hard-rocking quartet; they’ve opened for many big names, like LA Guns and Greta Van Fleet, in addition to being the kind of band many clubs book for both Friday and Saturday nights. A powerhouse playing live, with self-explanatory songs like “All Hell’s Breakin’ Loose” and their sin-

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Harsh Armadillo. Courtesy photo.

What they’re about: After starting out as a “sundress rock” singer-songwriter, Blacker switched things up, finding her funkier side. A debut LP is in the planning stages, to be done at 37’ Productions in Rockland, Mass., close to the home she shares with fiance and fellow musician Aaron Katz. “I believe there’s a stigma in the music scene with girls that sing,” Blacker said in 2017. “They get pigeonholed into folk, but there are a lot of genuinely soulful female singers in all sorts of genres.” Where they’ve played: Cisco, Riverwalk, Umami Next show: Book & Bar on April 26

Harsh Armadillo

What they’re about: Funk powerhouse formed at UNH. A follow-up to last year’s EP Bite and the 2018 full-length Blame Bad Habits is in the works. “This new record has the same grooves you can move to as our previous music, but we are exploring some of our softer moments,”

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What they’re about: Jammy “freak folk” band co-led by Freewheelin’ Franklin lookalike Eli Elkus and fellow songwriter Andrew Polakow, they’re in constant motion – the bumper on Elkus’ van reads “Home Sweet Road” – hitting venues all over the state and touring the country as well. Elkus is a magnet for other musicians, hosting a weekly hoot at Stone Church. “Why Say Why,” a standout song from their most recent album, Dancing on the Dead, sums up their raucous spirit. An as yet untitled follow-up is in the works as festival season approaches. Where they’ve played: Fury’s, Earth Eagle Brewings, Stone Church, Penuche’s Next shows: April 18 at Riverwalk, April 26 at Press Room

Truffle

What they’re about: Formed as Savoy Truffle (after the Beatles song) in 1986, Truffle is perhaps the longest-running band in New Hampshire, and a constant mainstay on the club scene. The secret? “We keep writing music and bring back things we haven’t done in a while,” bandleader Dave Gerard said on the band’s 30th anniversary a few years back. “We’re always blowing the rust off of something and changing up the set list.” Where they’ve played: Stone Church, Press Room, Riverwalk, Shaskeen, Area 23 Next show: Fury’s June 1

Cold Engines

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said lead singer Andrea Belaidi. “Pushing ourselves to new ideas while staying excited about the material.” Where they’ve played: Press Room, 3S ArtSpace, Riverwalk, Stone Church, Book & Bar, Next show: Jewel on May 9

People Like You

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Soggy Po’ Boys. Courtesy photo.

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What they’re about: Formed by David Drouin and Aaron Zaroulis of The Brew, this energetic rhythm rock band has cranked out four records in three years, with the latest due any day. A Prince-

inspired new single, “Kiss My Heart,” just dropped, and it’s an early leader in a few ‘song of the year’ polls. Principal songwriter Drouin calls the new record the band’s “most ambitious,” adding, “it sets the bar even higher. Where they’ve played: Press Room, Throwback Brewery, Stone Church, The Grog, Book & Bar Next shows: Blue Ocean Music Hall on April 27, Exeter Arts & Music Fest on May 18, Stone Church on July 19

Chelsea Paolini

What they’re about: Ex-leader of People Skills now fronting her own band. Chelsea Paolini + Massive Disaster, when she’s not playing solo – though if you close your eyes at one of her shows, you’re convinced it’s a rock orchestra; Paolini is a master at looping sounds to blend with her wild guitar style. Where they’ve played: Stone Church, Earth Eagle, Umami Next show: April 19 at Press Room (full band show)

Freevolt

What they’re about: Led by music maven Michael Bernier, whose “good good” empire encompasses performing, promotion and a radio show with international reach, the rhythm kings of Newburyport are at work on a new album, as Bernier readies a star-packed (Mighty Mystic, Rhythm Warrior) solo effort. Where they’ve played: Michael’s Harborside, Dover Brickhouse, The Grog, Riverwalk Brewing Next shows: Fury’s on May 31, NBPT Brewing on June 1

Soggy Po’ Boys

What they’re about: A New Orleansinspired sound helped this big band combust into a group on Fat Tuesday 2012, and they’ve been chugging along since, with three albums and a steady residency in their home base of Dover. The goodtime sound is marked by by the stellar horn

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interplay of Chris Klaxon on clarinet, Zach Lange blowing trumpet and Nick Mainella on sax, laid atop a solid foundation, anchored by a rhythm section of drummer Brett Gallo and bassist Nick Phaneuf, ubiquitous pianist Mike Effenberger and the band’s raucous front man, singer and guitarist Stu Dias. Where they’ve played: Press Room, Castle on Charles, Dance Hall (Kittery), Portsmouth Book & Bar Next shows: Firehouse Center for the Arts on May 31, UNH on June 1, Tuesdays at Sonny’s

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THE VENUES

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Stone Church 5 Granite St., Newmarket, 659-7700 Venerable venue under new management in the recent past – run by fans of the music working hard to maintain it as a vital forum. Upcoming: April 18 Clandestine w/ Marvel Prone, April 21 George Brown unplugged, April 23 Eli Elkus Root Tootin’ Acoustic Hoot, April 26 Armies w/ Ghosts of Jupiter

Corner of C st. & Ashworth Ave. Hampton Beach, NH 603-926-2030 FarrsHamptonBeach.com • Like us on Facebook: @FarrsFamous Chicken

Umami 284 First NH Turnpike, Northwood, 942-6427 Farm-to-table restaurant went all in on live music, hiring Amorphous Band found-

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er and uber-connected performer Chris O’Neill to book talent. Upcoming: April 18 Dan Blakeslee, April 20 Tony DePalma, April 26 Senie Hunt w/ Chris O’Neill, April 27 Scott Solsky w/ Jared Steer

Portsmouth Book & Bar 40 Pleasant St., Portsmouth, 427-9197 From the jump, when this quirky bookstore/coffee bar/craft beer bar opened it had music in mind, booking big names from around the country and lots of local acts. The upcoming Summit Indie Fest is representative, with an all-day lineup including rising stars Carissa Johnson and Gretchen & the Pickpockets and Portsmouth stalwarts Young Frontier, led by brilliant singer-songwriter Joe Young. Upcoming: April 19 New Fame, Rayel, Rah Zen, April 20 Weird Turn Pro, April 26 Sarah Blacker, April 27 Jim Dozet Band, May 11 Summit Indie Fest

Press Room 77 Daniel St., Portsmouth, 431-5186 When the place shuttered to make code, there were concerns it might not return, but this anchor of the live local scene is back and bigger than ever, with an upstairs equipped with new sound and lights, and a loft listening area. Upcoming: April 20 Upstate & Bailen, April 26 Seepeoples & People Like You,

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Dover Brick House 2 Orchard St., Dover, 749-3838 The upstairs is a rite of passage for bands looking to be taken seriously, a magnet for music mavens there to see momentous acts like Sygnal to Noise, Rustic Overtones and Enuf z’Nuf Upcoming: April 20 Hellbound Hitmen, April 25 Paintbox, April 26 Real Gone, May 11 Cactus Attack Fury’s Publick House 1 Washington St., Dover, 617-3633 Another essential bar/restaurant situated on the banks of the Cocheco River, this rustic, funky club is the forever Tuesday night home for Tim Theriault, an anchor on the scene for years, as well the host of monthly Wednesday night residencies, like an upcoming stint from Ferret Brothers, a Dover-based gypsy jazz combo Upcoming: April 20 Roots, Rhythm & Dub, April 26 Raging Brass, April 27 Beast Mode, May 10 Red Tail Hawk

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The Grog 13 Middle St., Newburyport, Mass. 978-465-8008 A rootsy vibe permeates, with Parker Wheeler’s Blues Jam a Sunday institution for decades, original treasures like Peter Prince & Moon Boot Lover and jammy joys Skyfoot regularly stop by – for 47 years, a NBPT tradition. Upcoming: May 3 Honey Brain, May 10 Adam Lufkin Band, May 17 Second Hand Smoke Newburyport Brewing Co. 4 New Pasture Road, Newburyport, Mass., 668-1088 Along with stellar beer, craft breweries are frequently adept at curating music, and this airy brewpub is exemplary, bringing in acts from far and wide, and presenting all-day festivals on a few summer days. Expect good singer-songwriters, upbeat rock and blues, and roots reggae. Upcoming: April 18 Jonathan Bousquet Trio, April 20 Space Force, April 26 Sonic Avionics 3S Artspace 319 Vaughan St., Portsmouth, 766-3330 Toeing the line between performing arts center and nightclub, this nonprofit has proved a vital source for the arts since opening a few years back. National acts like Meat Puppets (May 17) and Dar Williams (July 13) mingle with local heroes in this vital venue. Upcoming: April 18 Ryan Montbleau, April 19 Lawrence w/ Los Elk, April 27 Rubblebucket

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Nippo Lake Restaurant 88 Stagecoach Road, Barrington, 644-2030 From September to May, the cream of the acoustic music crop passes through every Sunday at this golf club lodge. Past performers include Lunch at the Dump, Joshua Incident, Honest Millie and Seth Sawyer Band. Upcoming: April 28 Mink Hills Band, May 4 Bold Hill Bluegrass Band

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BRETT WALKER

ACTING CHIEF OF POLICE, SEABROOK POLICE DEPARTMENT

The Seabrook Police Department hosts monthly Coffee with a Cop events, where the public is invited to come and meet with police in a friendly setting. The next one is on Friday, April 19, at the Rockingham Village Apartments. To learn more, visit seabrookpd.com/ about/coffee-with-a-cop.

Have you personally done a Coffee with a Cop event before? Yes, I have done almost all of our Coffee with a Cop events.

Why did you start this and when did you start it? The Seabrook PD started this under Chief Mike Gallagher, who took over in 2015. I don’t recall the exact date we started, but I believe it was 2016. We started it as a way to connect with the community we serve. We don’t have as many opportunities to connect with residents as we did years ago, so this was an opportunity to sit down and just talk to people. We get to know the community better and they get to know the officers who serve the community.

What sort of topics come up? Topics are varied. We get scenario questions like ‘If I got pulled over for…’ or ‘Is it legal to….’ We also get people who use these events as a way to sit down one on one and discuss concerns. Some people talk about speeding cars in their neighborhood or report illegal activities that they witness. Mostly, the conversations are ‘get to know you’-type questions. How long have you been a police officer? What made you want to be a police officer? Conversations often drift to hobbies, sports, families, etc.

What are some of the outcomes you want to see from this initiative? We just want to use this as a means of becoming familiar with members of the community and vice versa. Our call volume doesn’t always allow officers to get to know as many residents as they may have been able to in years past. We certainly develop relationships with residents and businesses, but to people who have no interaction with the police we may be nameless/faceless people driving by them like any other motorist. This gives us an opportunity to change that.

When and where do you generally host them? We typically host Coffee with a Cop on the last Friday of the month simply because it allows people who want to attend to have a predictable date. However, due to holidays or other

events that may come up, we do sometimes deviate from that schedule. We try to move around to different businesses. We’ve hosted at the Seabrook Rec Brett Walker. Courtesy photo. Center, Ocean Mist/Seabreeze Village Senior living, Market Basket Cafe, Starbucks, Dunkin’ Donuts, Seabrook Beach Precinct. What sort of myths do you want to dispel about police departments? I don’t know if there are specific myths we are looking to dispel. We want residents to realize that the officers serving them are people and they became police officers to help people. Having the opportunity to sit down and have a conversation helps with that. Generally, those who show up to these events are supportive of law enforcement. They may have some complaints they would like the police to address, such as speeding cars, and drug dealers, and they bring those issues to our attention. They don’t generally come in with negative views of law enforcement. I think it’s harder to maintain a negative view of law enforcement if you sit down with a police officer and are able to see them as another human being and not a robot. What made you want to be a police officer? I have a friend who started working as a police officer. He’d tell me about his days at work, and it sounded interesting and he genuinely enjoyed what he was doing. Every day is different and it’s challenging work. Most importantly, all of the things that challenge us as police officers make a difference in people’s lives. Whether it be solving a burglary or recovering some other stolen item or doing drug enforcement, they all impact the lives of other people. Anything we missed? A nod to the Hawthorne, California, police would be in order because they actually get credited with the Coffee with a Cop initiative. When we were looking to start doing these types of events, we found that there was already an established initiative to accomplish the same things. So while we do Coffee with a Cop regularly, we are far from pioneering the event. —Rob Levey

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PEOPLE AND PLACES

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According to Ashley Stokes, marine mammal rescue manager at the Seacoast Science Center, the Rescue Run: Race for Marine Mammals is not your average road race. “Whether you run or walk the 5k to get your best time or to just enjoy the scenery, or if you’re a child participating in the fun run, if you attend to simply cheer others on, or if you come to participate in the beach clean-up,” Stokes said, “you’ll feel great knowing that you’re getting some exercise while supporting the Seacoast Science Center’s Marine Mammal Rescue Program.” Stokes, who is also the event’s race director, is preparing for the 11th annual Rescue Run occurring on Saturday, April 20, at 9 a.m. at Odiorne Point State Park in Rye. Stokes said the event has something for everyone; while the chip-timed 5K trail race and untimed walk through Odiorne Point State Park are the main attractions, there is also a beach clean-up following the race, a plethora of marine-themed activities for children to partake in, a mock seal rescue station, a rafﬂe and much more. The event kicks off with the 5K Trail Race at 9 a.m., followed by the Kids Fun Run at 9:40 a.m. and the 5K award ceremony at 10 a.m. The beach clean-up in conjunction with the Blue Ocean Society starts at 11 a.m. Registration fees range from $6 for children participating in the Kids Fun Run to $25 for those 13 years of age and older participating in the 5K Trail Race. “The proceeds from this event directly support Seacoast Science Center’s Marine Mammal Rescue program,” Stokes said. “There are many road races out there, as well as some trail runs, but we truly felt like the Seacoast Science Center and Odiorne Point State Park had something truly unique and exciting to offer.” According to Stokes, the Seacoast Science Center Marine Mammal Rescue program is a nonproﬁt organization that relies on public donations like those raised during the Rescue Run. With the help of the money it receives, the organization can respond to every report of live or dead marine mammals from the Maine border south to Essex, Massachusetts. Stokes said that they’ve responded to seals, dolphins, porpoises and whales, and they work to either nurse injured animals back to health or transfer animals to rehabilitation facilities for further care. The organization also conducts educational outreach programs, onsite educational programs, fundraising events and more. One of the most notable aspects of the

A past Rescue Run. Courtesy photo.

Rescue Run is the course the runners will be trekking. Although the course is slightly different now than it was in 2009 when the event first began, the trail route was created by Jennifer Shultis, captain of Team Eastern Mountain Sports, 2006 US Adventure Racing National Champions, who worked with the Seacoast Science Center to create a distinctive trail running experience. “We wanted to create a trail within the park that offered beautiful views, varying terrain and even a couple of little obstacles in the form of running up and down very steep military bunkers and down on the sandy beach,” said Stokes. Runners and volunteers can also participate in the post-race beach cleanup that begins at the conclusion of the morning’s races. According to Stokes, the beach clean-up has been getting more and more popular with each year. The Blue Ocean Society, a nonprofit organization based in Portsmouth, “tracks the different kinds and amounts of each marine debris collected and weighs everything at the end of the beach cleanup,” according to Stokes. With approximately 70 volunteers helping the Seacoast Science Center run the event and having over 800 registrants for the various races in their largest year, the Rescue Run: Race for Marine Mammals is starting to come into its own as a local tradition. “[It] is a fun-filled family-friendly event to get families out of the house after a long winter, while supporting a great cause,” Stokes said. More information about the Seacoast Science Center and the Rescue Run, including a race-day schedule and registration information for runners, can be found at seacoastsciencecenter.org/events/ rescue-run. —Caleb Jagoda

CAR TALK

Putting diesel fuel in a gas engine is a nonstarter

By Ray Magliozzi

Dear Car Talk: What happens if you put 5 gallons of diesel fuel in a gasoline engine’s fuel tank, but you don’t try to start the vehicle? — Anthony

Let me guess, Anthony. Asking for a friend? If you haven’t tried to start the car, you haven’t done any serious damage yet. Once you start the car, the fuel pump sends that diesel fuel into the fuel lines and through the injectors. And that makes a pretty good mess. But if all the diesel fuel is still in the tank, this is not going to require a home equity loan to fix. The first step is to have the car towed to your mechanic. Obviously, you don’t want to drive it to him. He’ll drain your gas tank. Some cars actually have removable drains on their gas tanks. If yours is one of those, you’re in fat city. He’ll just open the drain over an approved container and let the entire contents of the fuel tank come out. Then close it up, add some fresh gasoline, and drain that

mixture to get out most of the remaining diesel. He might even rinse it with fresh gas more than once. If there’s no drain on your gas tank, your mechanic will have to remove the gas tank and empty it for you. We call that “dropping the tank,” even though we don’t actually drop it. Well, once in a while we drop it. Anyway, once he dumps out the existing fuel, your mechanic will do the same thing with some fresh gasoline, swishing it around in there to help remove whatever diesel remains. That should get rid of 99.98% of that diesel fuel. Once you’ve drained and cleaned the fuel tank, there’s nothing else you really need to do. Since you never started the car, don’t get talked into replacing any fuel lines, filters, converters, seals or injectors. It won’t be necessary. Even if you have a little bit of diesel residue in the tank — the stuff that’s still clinging to the walls — when mixed with enough gasoline, it should just get burned up in the cylinders and go out the tailpipe. By residue, I mean ounces, not pints or gallons. I’d warn you to be careful to not do this again, but I’m sure that after you

have to spend a couple of hundred bucks removing the tank, you won’t need any further reminders. Good luck, Anthony. Dear Car Talk: Is it OK to raise up my windshield wipers in the winter? I see people doing that sometimes, to prevent the wipers from freezing to the windshield. Will it weaken the springs over time? — Fred This is a trick that people use in the Great Frozen North, Fred. When there’s a snow, sleet or ice storm coming, some people will raise their wiper arms away from the windshield the night before. That way, if the windshield ices up, the blades will be out of the way, making it easier to get to the windshield with your pick axe the next morning. It also saves you the trouble of having to separate the iced-over wiper blades from the frozen windshield. I suppose it’s one of those small pleasures we Northerners take. “Hey, I may have to dig my car out of 4 feet of wet snow and chip ice off my windshield an eighth of a centimeter at a time until I can’t feel my fingers, but at least I don’t have to clean my windshield wipers!”

Most people do this a handful of times per winter. And that’s not going to harm the springs, which are pretty robust. If you’re doing this every night, Fred, then forget about your wiper springs, relocate to Honolulu. Those springs are responsible for keeping the wipers pushed up against the windshield, so they’re being worked all the time anyway. And if, for some reason, the springs on your wiper arms do weaken over time, and you get chattering or poor wiper to windshield contact, you can always replace the arms. On the average car, replacements will cost you 25 or 30 bucks a piece. So it’s not a big deal. There are also other ways to reduce the amount of work you have to do on snowy mornings. There’s the heated garage, of course. But if you don’t have one of those, you can put a tarp over the windshield, and just pull it (and the snow covering it) off before you drive away. Or get one big enough to cover the roof and hang down over all your windows. In fact, that’d make it nice and dark in the car, so you might want to consider sleeping in there, too Visit Cartalk.com

SEACOAST SCENE | APRIL 18 - 24, 2019 | PAGE 15

FOOD

AT 401 TAVERN Housed in a historic building that dates back to the 17th century, the 401 Tavern (401 Lafayette Road, Hampton, 926-8800, 401tavern.com) is a popular year-round destination for traditional American pub fare, like appetizers, burgers, sandwiches and flatbreads, all made from scratch. The eatery also features specials that rotate multiple times a week, as well more than 20 craft beers on tap and more than 300 types of spirits and wines from its bar. The Scene recently caught up with new co-owner Ryan Cox, who purchased the restaurant last month (and is also one of the owners of The Farm Bar & Grille restaurants in Dover, Manchester, Essex, Mass., and Kittery, Maine), to talk about the 401’s unique atmosphere and what he’s got planned in store for it later this summer. How long has the 401 Tavern been around? It’s been the 401 Tavern for 10 years. Actually, [last] month was the 10-year anniversary. What makes the 401 Tavern unique? There are actually three different areas of the restaurant that have three of their own atmospheres. There is a wine bar, a room that we consider more of a sports bar, and the regular [tavern]. You can get the same food throughout the whole

building, but each room has a different type of energy and experience. I also think our ties to the community are really important. We want to expand the experience and continue to build community relationships with people, so we’re thinking about doing some trivia nights during the week and maybe some live music for our Sunday brunches, things like that. What is your personal favorite drink or dish? Just coming out of a long winter sea-

SEACOAST SCENE | APRIL 18 - 24, 2019 | PAGE 16

Courtesy photos.

son, I’m really into the salads right now. Both our Mediterranean quinoa salad and our Thai peanut chicken salad are great. What is a dish everyone should try? The 401 macaroni and cheese. It’s a classic penne pasta with colby-jack, mozzarella and Parmesan cheese, and then it’s topped with herbed Ritz cracker crumbs. You can get it either like that, or as a Buffalo chicken mac, a bacon cheeseburger mac or a BLT mac.

What is an essential skill to running a restaurant? I think it’s being able to wear lots of hats and also understanding that everyone is a different individual that approaches things in their own way. What is your favorite part of being on the Seacoast? I like the seasons most and the fact that we go through so many changes. — Matt Ingersoll

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It was my husband’s birthday recently and our children were incredulous that he had to go to work. “You have to work on your birthday?!” Sadly, as adults, life doesn’t stop for our birthdays. This feels even truer now that we have kids. I realized that my husband would be solo parenting most of the day because I had a yoga class to teach in the morning and an important meeting I couldn’t miss in the evening. So, I set out to make his day a little bit brighter by making him a sweet treat for his birthday morning. I know how much he likes cinnamon rolls and sticky buns so I decided to bake some from scratch. The only problem was that I decided to do this at around 3 p.m. the day before his birthday with all three of my small children around. Eek. The labor-intensive sticky buns my sister-in-law makes at Christmas with potato dough were out; I didn’t have any potatoes and I didn’t want a two-part process. Traditional cinnamon rolls were out because I didn’t have time to proof and proof and proof — I needed something easier and faster. Thank God for the Internet! I found a recipe for “Easy Cinnamon Rolls” and got started. Things were going along really well until I ran out of baking powder. What would Mary Berry do? I went back online to find some solutions. Could I just use baking soda instead? How are they different?

Cinnamon Rolls. Photo by Allison Willson Dudas.

Baking soda is a base and is much stronger than baking powder. They are both leaveners but baking powder actually contains two ingredients that will react together on their own. Baking soda is just the base side of the reaction. Baking powder actually contains baking soda but also contains an acid, cream of tartar. So, if you’re out of baking powder, fear not! Just add some baking soda (not a ton, as it has 3 to 4 times the potency, according to Bon Apétit Magazine). I didn’t have cream of tartar but I did have plain yogurt, which apparently works just fine in its place. Use one part baking soda to two parts acid (yogurt, in my case) to sub. It’s absolutely not exact and I would only do it if you’re completely stuck. I was and the cinnamon rolls still turned out great. Phew. — Allison Willson Dudas

Easy Cinnamon Rolls Courtesy of allrecipes.com Dough 2 cups all-purpose flour (you may need a little more) 2 tablespoons white sugar 2 teaspoons baking powder (hopefully you have this, if not, use my substitute and hope for the best!) 1 teaspoon salt 3 tablespoons butter, softened 3/4 cup milk 1 egg

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Preheat oven to 400 degrees. In one bowl, combine milk and egg. In another bowl, whisk

flour, 2 tablespoons white sugar, baking powder and salt. Using your hands, combine the 3 tablespoons softened butter. Combine both together and mix with a rubber spatula. A very sticky dough will emerge — I added about 2 tablespoons more flour to make it workable. Roll dough into a big rectangle, about ¼ inch thick (but I think mine was thicker and it was fine). In another bowl, combine cinnamon, brown sugar and ½ cup white sugar. Sprinkle this mixture onto bottom of 8x8 glass baking dish. Brush surface of rectangular dough with 2 tablespoons melted butter and then sprinkle on the remaining sugar mixture. Roll up into a nice long log and then slice into about 12 2-inch sections. Arrange sections in pan, snuggled up nice and night. Bake for about 20 minutes. While rolls are baking, make the frosting by beating together confectioner’s sugar, cream cheese, butter and vanilla. Can you skip the frosting? Sure. Should you? No way. Once the rolls are down, lather the frosting right onto them so it’s deliciously melty. Enjoy!

DRINK

Wines of spring

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What to drink with your Easter, Passover or sunny day meal Spring is here — the calendar says so! We all know spring is late in coming to New England, but there are signs of spring. The days are getting longer. Robins have been sighted. A little snowdrop has just popped its white bloom through the wet ground of the garden. The Tom turkeys, with ruffled feathers, look like they are strutting muscle beach trying to attract the hens. And it’s time for Easter and Passover family gatherings. What kind of wines celebrate spring? Spring is a time to barbecue that young lamb, or savor a baked Easter ham, or celebrate Passover with a delicious brisket that has been slowly braised for hours. Spring is a time to turn to rosé wines, so let us begin with the rosés. Not all rosés are created equal! Provence, France, produces among the best rosés. It is the grapes! Excellent rosés are derived from a blend of grenache, cinsault and syrah grapes. Chateau Beauchêne Le Pavillon, Côtes du Rhône 2014 is an excellent place to start. Originally priced at $13.99, this rosé has been reduced to $8.99 at the New Hampshire state liquor stores. It is a blend of 40 percent cinsault, 40 percent grenache, 15 percent mourvèdre, and 5 percent syrah. It has a style that is closer to Provence than to the “Rhône” carried on its label. It has a pale salmon pinkorange color, and very delicate red-fruited flavors. It is bright and fresh on the palate and a definitively dry, savory finish. According to the Chateau Beauchêne website, this refreshment factor is partly thanks to blocked malolactic conversion to retain acidity, as well as stainless-steel fermentation at 16 degrees C (60.8 F) to avoid losing any of those precious red-fruit flavors. This wine compares very favorably to more expensive rosés! Chateau Barbebelle Rosé, originally priced at $19.99 and reduced to $17.99 at the New Hampshire state liquor stores, is a blend of 50 percent grenache, 30 percent syrah and 20 percent cinsault. This wine has a powder pink color and its nose is full of white peaches and raspberries. On the palate are floral notes of roses, more raspberries, and pear. This is a very elegant rosé from one of the oldest vineyards of Aix en Provence. The estate of 300 hectares (740 acres) cultivates 45 hectares (111 acres) in vineyards. The current vineyard owners, into four generations of ownership, take advantage of their location and its cool north-northwesterly winds that slow the ripening of the fruit. A pairing to barbecued lamb is typically a deep red, “chewy” wine from the south of France, or even Tuscany, Italy, but Columbia River Valley, Washington, can produce wines as full and complex as those of the warm climates of the Mediterranean. Ross Andrew The Huntsman Cabernet Sauvignon, orig-

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inally priced at $19.99 and reduced to $15.99 at the New Hampshire state liquor stores, is a Multi-dealer shop info@eastcoastpropsandantiques.com www.eastcoastpropsandantiques.com blend of 96 percent cabernet sauvignon and 4 percent petit verdot. The vineyards sourced Multi-dealer shop info@eastcoastpropsandantiques.com www.eastcoastpropsandantiques.com for this wine are a mix of Washington’s finest AVA’s: Red Mountain, Horse Heaven Hills, and the Columbia Valley. Per the website of Ross Andrew Winery, Woodinville, Washington, the petit verdot darkens the cabernet sauvignon “just enough” and adds incredible aromatic subtlety. The wine has a very deep red-blue color, good tannin structure, with aromas of black currant, dark spices and cedar wood, or a little “leather.” This wine will definitely hold up to that wonderful barbecued spring lamb. Looking for a kosher wine? Try the Alate Tempranillo, priced at $16.99 at the New Hampshire state liquor stores. This wine 119941 hails from the Navarre region of Spain. The fiercely independent Kingdom of Navarre is in the northern reaches of Spain; its capital is Pamplona, home to one of Spain’s most famous and wildest festivals! Even when the bulls aren’t thundering down the cobblestone streets, Navarre is a fascinating place to explore. Students of history know of a strong Jewish culture in Spain under Moorish rule. That culture was all but obliterated by the Inquisition, but independent Navarre still retains Jewish cultural roots planted in the 10th century. Tempranillo has been called Spain’s answer to cabernet sauvignon. Its style can vary significantly depending on terroir and the wine-making techniques used. Coming from cooler climates, it can have notes of strawberries and cherries. From warmer climates the wine tends to take on plumper “jammy” notes, along with chocolate and tobacco. Tempranillo is the backbone of the wines of Rioja and has spread to Portugal, where it is called tinta roriz. This wine, with its plum and ripe cherry fruit, is a perfect pairing to that slow-braised brisket. Just be sure to pick up enough, as it will quickly be exhausted in the four ceremonial cups of the Seder! Fred Matuszewski is a local architect and a foodie and wine geek, interested in the cultivation of the multiple strains and varieties of grapes and the industry of wine production and sales. Chief among his travels is an annual trip to the wine-producing areas of California. 125880

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SEACOAST SCENE | APRIL 18 - 24, 2019 | PAGE 19

POP CULTURE

Auto art

Two artists team up for Hampton exhibit English photographer Tony Nicholls and local artist Nicole Ellis invite members of the Hampton community to view their collaborative exhibit “The Art of Automobiles” on display in the downstairs Weston Gallery of the Lane Memorial Library through April. This show was first created last October for Main Street Art in Newfields, prior to which the artists had not met. They were brought together and found that their works complemented each other, having in some cases produced images that mirrored each other or was of a similar vehicle. For this exhibit Nicholls and Ellis have produced works that emphasize the colors, textures and lines of vehicles in various states of repair or disrepair. They encompass a wide variety of automobiles from the U.S. and the U.K., some old, some restored, some battered, some bruised. Nicholls is an English photographer living and working in both New England and the U.K. He has been involved in photography since college and recently began developing those early skills and techniques to communicate a more mature vision. “I take photographs in order to capture the world as I see it,” he said. “I tend to concentrate on scenes and objects that have strong lines, contrast and textures, sometimes in black and white to emphasize these. Many of my photographs are panoramic to capture the world as I see it, the breadth of the scene, the sweep of the countryside. I apply a similar approach to portraits, trying to find the lines, shapes and colors that make ‘the person.’ In this exhibition I am trying to portray details of the subjects, to abstract patterns on a simple surface, discovering the elements that make up the shapes, textures and contrasts. I try to enhance these to bring out the elements that I wish to reveal. Some of my work seeks to force the viewer to look deeper into the image so that they find otherwise hidden details in it.” Ellis, who has just begun to realize her dream of painting full-time, remembers as a 6-year-old girl in upstate New York thinking, “When I grow up I want to live by the ocean and be a painter.” “Fast forward through many years of retail jobs, side painting projects scattered here and there, and welcome to my new Lunch Buffet • Sunday Brunch reality,” she said. “I have now been able to Dinner • Special Occasions & Events paint-full time for a year and a half. With Live Music • Trivia the support of my husband, I launched my own painting business, NicoleEllisArtist, Find more information at in 2018 and started my lifelong dream of GAUCHOSBRAZILIANSTEAKHOUSE.COM painting unique images from quiet New 603-669-9460 England towns and the surrounding land-

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scapes. With the realization that none of us is guaranteed a tomorrow and a passion for the process of painting to capture the unsung moments I see in rural New England areas, I set off to pursue my dream.” In her first year Ellis curated or attended 19 events and sold 36 paintings. She said that in 2019, the second year of her endeavor, she looks forward to a fun summer of outdoor events. “This year I’ve added farmers markets to my venue list as it blends my love of old barns, rusty trucks and mottled fields with

other local makers and consumers who appreciate hand-crafted goods to support a local economy,” she said. “The encouraging words I receive at outdoor art shows or gallery openings propels me forward to keep painting images that I love, be it an abandoned old truck, a collection of maple buckets looking like blue bonnets, the peeling paint on a time-worn barn or craggly rocks of a seascape with a weary fishing shack. I look for the character present in each of these images and use paint to celebrate the life found within them.”

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POP CULTURE Final Exam, by Andrew Merton (Accents Publishing, 75 pages) In 75 pages, many of them nearly blank, Andrew Merton succinctly captures the human condition better than many books four times the length. Merton is a professor emeritus of English at the University of New Hampshire, and Final Exam is his third book of poetry, after 2016’s Lost and Found and the brilliantly titled Evidence that We Are Descended from Chairs of 2012. The thin volume deceives, as do some of its cheeky titles: “Why Elmer Fudd Does Not Appear in a Poem About Rabbits” and “A Warning from the Chipmunk of Doom.” But while Merton has a sharp wit and frolics in the absurd, this is no book of light verse. He skips lightly across a deep, reflective pond, pausing on both pebbles and boulders. The boulders: suicide, a lost gift from a dead mother, climate change, depression. The pebbles: Chickens. Walruses. Unicorns emerging from beards. In short, nothing is predictable in the smart, charming book of verse. “Umlaut” is about the quirky diacritic (Rendered aloud, it twists your lips / into the kiss you plant / on the cheek of your least favorite aunt); and “The Unreliable Narrator Stacks a Cord of Wood” finds a writer wrestling with point of view: Your wife said to put down some two-byfours first because the ground was muddy. Perhaps it was not your wife who said this, but an old man wearing a checkered flannel shirt and a feed cap in a bait shop up in Maine. Perhaps the man said something different: Ayuh, the bluefish ah runnin’ somethin’ fee-yus the summah. Final Exam makes room for both the solemn and the blasphemous: (Ninety generations / of fathers, sons, / and holy goats) and a weirdly mesmerizing explanation of why the chicken crossed the road, “The Chicken Conundrum,” which has to do with a chicken that roosted in Christ’s cross “from the time the cross was anchored in the ground until Jesus drew his last breath” but was covered up by militant Druids. I loved “Three Clergyman of a Certain Age” in which “A rabbi, a priest, and a minister walk into a poem” and find Mae West, Ella Fitzgerald, Emily Dickinson, Virginia Woolf and Dorothy Parker sitting there, and learn that men are not permitted in the poem. In “Sympathy for the Devil,” God “has had enough” and announces his intention to resign at a news conference at the Cleveland Rock ‘n’ Roll Hall of Fame. (“He said He plans to resign / to pursue other interests: / French cooking, stock car racing, yoga / and, of course, putting together a band.”

Andrew Merton. Courtesy photo.

“Satchmo” finds the jazz great among a roving pack of angels searching for a pin head on which they can all dance. (Unable, they decide to dance on the head of a railroad spike instead.) “Feral Pianos” invokes two Dickinson lines, “Not all Pianos in the Woods / Had power to mangle me,” and counters with “eighty-eight gleaming teeth / their massive bellies / thundering with hunger.” And Dickinson herself would have loved the simple “The Lid”: I intend to become / the first garter snake / to master the piano. / It should not be difficult / once I figure out / how to open the lid. Merton, possibly inadvertently, inserts his own warning in “B Poem,” a sardonic take on the caricatures of B movies: “If it’s controlled refinement you’re after, you’re on the wrong page.” But anyone who loves words and their antics will love this collection, one part droll and two parts searing. A — Jennifer Graham

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SEACOAST SCENE | APRIL 18 - 24, 2019 | PAGE 23

NITE

Sweet harmony

River Sister melds folk traditions, jazz rhythm

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SEACOAST SCENE | APRIL 18 - 24, 2019 | PAGE 24

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There’s a story of a hush passing over a Laurel Canyon living room decades ago when Crosby, Stills & Nash revealed their harmony sweet spot. Similarly, a reverent silence greeted Elissa Margolin and Stefanie Guzikowski the first time they sang together. The moment led to River Sister, a band that balances folk tradition, jazz rhythm and glorious singing. The two met at the Blue Mermaid’s open mic night, back when it was still in Portsmouth. Margolin was building buzz in her hometown with a growing collection of songs, and Guzikowski came with her musician husband, a regular at the weekly hoot. Soon they were singing together — and people took notice. “They were saying our voices blend so well together,” Guzikowski said in a recent joint interview. “So we thought maybe we should keep doing it.” Margolin wrote a song while thinking of Guzikowski and the rhythm section of her band, Nathan Therrien and Paul Donahue. As a singer-songwriter, she said, “you’re always kind of talking back to yourself, and it’s such a nice pivot to write for really talented musicians and singers and think, ‘What’s this going to sound like when we harmonize and pull this together as a band?’ It was a nice change.” “Range of Motion” also riffed on the new group’s name, one that took a long time to choose. “Stefanie didn’t want to rush, and she made us have this really long list,” Margolin said. “We were big fans of Rising Appalachia, so we always talked about being song sisters. Stef kept pushing for Melodic Undertow.” “And Ephemeral Ties,” Guzikowski added with a laugh. “Oh yeah,” Margolin replied. “I remember thinking nobody wants to name a band that! Eventually we got to River Sister, and then I wrote the tune.” It was an extension of the quick and firm connection two have. “We love to sit and talk for hours about a variety of things, be it spiritual, politics; we related on such an intense, close level,” Margolin said. “One of the things in common with relation to that ... was water. So we wanted to incorporate water and water’s meaning, sister and water flowing, because life flows.” River Sister, with Nate Cozzolino

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When: Friday, April 19, 8 p.m. Where: Button Factory Stage, 909 Islington St., Portsmouth More: riversistermusic.com

River Sister. Courtesy photo.

The group’s debut, a five-track eponymous EP, arrived in 2017. Two new songs, produced by Chris Magruder, should be out by summer and will be part of an upcoming show at Portsmouth’s Button Factory Stage. Run by WSCA, it’s a favorite venue for the band. “I relocated to New Hampshire from Washington, D.C., 15 years ago; one of the first things I did was start volunteering at the new community radio station,” Guzikowski said. “I loved WSCA from the very beginning and it’s been taken to the next level for sure, since I had a small, barely listened to talk show there on Saturday morning. The leadership there now has a really strong connection to the music scene.” River Sister is selective in its booking, Margolin said. “This band has an ethic,”she said. “We’re not the youngest band on the scene; you have to really think about what matters, why you’re doing something, who you want to collaborate with. I think we choose gigs with that ethic in mind and a lot of the times we’ll make these connections and talk through these new relationships that we love.” She admits it’s not perfect. “We played a dive in Albany, New York, that we will never forget,” she said. “You know we have a funny story about it, but it’s not a place we’ll run back to.” — Michael Witthaus

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“Fly Free” — another freestyle for everyone Across

1 Wish for success 11 Nemesis for Hook 15 It stops at ports of call 16 “You leave ___ choice” 17 Nonstop

2021 25 Maiden name lead-in 26 Turn green, perhaps 27 Pre-grads 28 Kool Moe ___ 29 “The Hollow Men” poet 31 Instruction segment 33 British heavyweight? 34 Word before operandi 39 ___-Caps (concession stand candy) 40 Pushed, with “on” 41 Home of California’s Mendocino College 42 TV character who jumped the shark, with “the” 44 Course outlines

18 Lenovo competitor 19 PC menu command 20 Short-term positions 22 20-20, e.g. 23 Gp. with a Seattle team come

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46 Short Morse code bit 48 Break stuff? 51 Ohio airport code 52 Dad joke, often 53 Upscale hotel offering 54 Noir investigator, slangily 55 Bob Mould’s band before Sugar 58 He played Wiseau 60 “Just ___ bit more” 61 Drama with a title character voiced by Kristen Bell 63 Contested 64 Embarrassed 65 Parts of loaves 66 Buckeye and others

10 Krispy ___ (some doughnuts) 11 Key with no flats or sharps, for short 12 Editing a program, say 13 Single-file 14 Wearing some Victorian garb 21 PGA’s Calvin 24 Explorative phrase in kids’ science shows, maybe 30 Yule symbol 32 Ambient music producer Brian 34 Requisite 35 “Fine, I give up” 36 Pork roast flavorer 37 Suffix after habit or sex 38 Rhombus, e.g. 43 Archive format Down 45 Old Scottish towns (as opposed 1 Speaks too proudly to towns elsewhere?) 2 Cream-filled pastry 47 La Brea attraction 3 Individual beings 48 Nick follower on cable TV 4 ___ Modern (London art 49 Ruling gallery) 50 Reprimands 5 Nearby 56 Classic canvas shoe brand 6 Gives substance to, with “out” 57 Pres. Eisenhower’s alma mater 7 Tipsy 59 Petri dish medium 8 Fathom or foot 62 Plop down©2017 Jonesin’ 9 Swimming pools, a la “The Crosswords (editor@jonesincrosswords.com) Beverly Hillbillies”

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SEACOAST SCENE | APRIL 18 - 24, 2019 | PAGE 26

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BEACH BUM FUN HOROSCOPES By Holly, The Seacoast Area's Leading Astrologer

• Leo (July 23-Aug. 22): It’s time for you to seriously examine your political convictions. For starters, get over that Spiro Agnew thing. • Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Good luck will come your way at work, but unfortunately you’ll take a personal day.

US K C E T! H C OU

• Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): A hand-written note will bring news that will frustrate you. Plus, it’ll arrive postage due. • Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Auto maintenance is not your strength. Don’t try to realign your car by aiming for potholes. • Aries (March 21-April 19): Today will be the very best day of your life. Wow, isn’t that kinda depressing? • Taurus (April 20-May 20): You will have trouble making up your mind. At least I think you will. Maybe not. • Gemini (May 21-June 20): Get involved in groups that will see your potential. Consider joining the local chapter of the Liar’s Club. • Cancer (June 21-July 22): A close relative will surprise everyone by admitting he hasn’t changed his socks since 1972.

• Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): This summer, you will overhear a conversation at Ceal’s Clam Shack that will alarm you. • Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Better days are coming. But unfortunately, the best days of all are long gone.

Formerly Brentwood Antiques Over 60 Dealers

• Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Time to donate to a good cause. How about the Benevolent Horoscope Writers Pension Fund? • Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20): Your garden this year will produce an abundance of vegetables. Unfortunately, woodchucks read horoscopes.

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SEACOAST SCENE | APRIL 18 - 24, 2019 | PAGE 27

BEACH BUM FUN ROCKANDROLLCROSSWORDS.com BY TODD SANTOS

CIAO PUZZLE Across 1. Rod Stewart’s girl has ‘Hot’ ones 5. A-ha ‘The Sun Never __ That Day’ 10. Bonnie Raitt ‘Women Be __’ 14. ‘89 Cult power ballad hit 15. Jason Segel “Am __ or am I a Muppet?” 16. ‘Put Your Head On My Shoulder’ Paul 17. Tesla ‘What You __’

28. Tom Waits ‘__: Brawlers, Bawlers & Bastards’ 31. Boyz II Men ‘It’s So Hard __ __ 18. Beatles “Baby you can __, yes I’m Goodbye To Yesterday’ (2,3) gonna be a star” (5,2,3) 32. Faster Pussycat song of little value? 20. What “hungry” musician finally did 36. Worn by a musician in the 50s w/his when he hit it big suit 21. Rockers might give them to their 37. ‘04 Hoobastank album for both of us adored instruments (3,5) heading the identical way? (4,9) 22. Eurythmics album you can feel? 41. Burt Bacharach co-writer David 24. Justine Frischmann ‘Connection’ 42. Band without stage presence? band 43. Bon Jovi “__ __ gonna touch the sky?” (3,2) 46. Like venues after career pinnacle 50. 70s Heart classic for hired guy for kid’s party? (5,3) 54. Scorpions singer Klaus 55. The Cult ‘__ __ Sanctuary’ (3,5) 58. Baird that sang ‘Keep Your Hands To Yourself’ 59. Neil Diamond ‘___ You Again’ (2,1,4,3)

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TOILETRY ITEMS (8 OZ.) OR TRAVEL SIZE - NO AEROSOL CANS • Chap Stick • Hand Sanitizer • Deodorant • Tylenol • Apsrin • Razors • Eye Drops • Bug Wipes • Inner Soles • Foot Powder • Toothpaste/Brushes • Sun Screen • Handi Wipes • Flip Flops • White Socks (Mid Calf for Boots) FOOD ITEMS - INDIVIDUALLY PACKED TO SHARE • Cookies • Nuts • Trail Mix • Pop Tarts • Mircowave Popcorn • Coffee (1lb) • Gum • Beef Jerky • Small Peanut Butter • Dried Fruit • Raisins • Granola Bars • Crystal Light (Etc.) On the Go Drink Packets • Freeze Pops • Slim Jims FUN STUFF FOR THE TROOPS • Deck of Cards • Small Checkers • Small Nerf Balls • Rubik Cubes • Yoyos-Duncan • Small Chess Sets •Footballs/Soccerballs • Small Card Games ITEMS THAT CANNOT BE SENT Any Food Items Containing Pork • Adult Books or Films

The Seacoast Scene is looking for a sales person with past print sales experience who is creative and loves the print environment. Candidates should live on the seacoast. Hours are part-time. B 8,

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SEACOAST SCENE | APRIL 18 - 24, 2019 | PAGE 28

Raised A __’ 27. Vote to allow new member 29. ‘Suave And Suffocated’ __ Atomic Dustbin 30. Buckcherry ‘__ My Wrists’ 33. Historic time period in music 34. Used on soundstages, for videos 35. Napalm Death album about a lowlife? 37. “Oh won’t you smile a while for me __” Hall & Oates Down 38. John Mellencamp ‘Get __ __ Up’ 1. Musically connected, w/out breaks (1,3) between notes 39. ‘Submarine ___’ Robert Pollard 2. Producer is also this 40. Leonard Cohen ‘Live At The __ Of Wight 1970’ 3. Postal Service album (4,2) 4. Green Day ‘__ The Light’ 41. Stage hog 5. Cult “It’s a long way to go, a black 44. David Gray song about knowledge? 45. Reverb’s cousin angel at your __” 47. Soulful sing/songer Jamie 6. ‘LA Song (Out Of This Town)’ Beth 48. To allow rocker friend to keep using 7. Sweet Child __ __ (1,4) 8. Like The Village People? drugs 9. Blink-182 ‘All The Small Things’ 49. What band did to practice space album ‘__ Of The State’ (w/”it) 10. Paul Simon ‘50 __ __ Leave Your 51. Phil Collins “Take a look at __ __” Lover’ (4,2) (2,3) 11. ‘98 Metallica covers album ‘Garage 52. ‘85 Asia ‘Go’ album 53. They are empty when band is on tour __’ 12. Meat Puppets song about reggae 56. ‘Come Around Sundown’ Kings Of precursor? __ 13. Cult “Stick it in your __, ‘cause it ain’t 57. Let opening guy borrow your axe exactly clear” 59. John Mayer ‘Your Body __ __ Won19. ‘Wasting Time’ pop punkers derland’ (2,1) 21. Time period of one’s taste 60. Like thick tone, slang 23. Bandmate, perhaps 61. Jimmy Eat World “How else am __ __ 25. Finch album/hit ‘What It __ __ make it clear?” (1,2) Burn’ (2,2) 62. ‘On Through The Night’ __ Leppard 26. Bruce Springsteen ‘Adam © 2019 Todd Santos

62. Money owed to label 63. Ozzy song off ‘Diary Of A Madman’ (abbr) 64. English ‘Trailer Park’ Beth 65. ‘Ex’s And Ohs’ King 66. Kind of bomb U2 might want to dismantle 67. Morcheeba ‘Rome __ Built In A Day’ 68. Cali’s Birds __ From Me

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SEACOAST SCENE | APRIL 18 - 24, 2019 | PAGE 29

NEWS OF THE WEIRD BY ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION

New World order

In Raleigh, North Carolina, residents of The Dakota apartment complex are stepping out a little more confidently after management engaged the services of a company called PawzLife. The Raleigh News and Observer reported on March 22 that residents were growing disgusted with the amount of dog feces on the sidewalks and green spaces around the complex. So management turned to a high-tech solution: Residents who own dogs are required to bring them to a “pup party,” where PawzLife collects their DNA with a simple saliva swipe and creates a “unique DNA profile” for each dog. The company then visits the neighborhood to pick up any stray poop, and owners whose dogs are a match with the poop DNA are fined $100 per offense. PawzLife owner Matthew Malec said, “We are just trying to make the Earth a little bit better to live on.”

Nothing better to do ...

Traffic on a street in the Koreatown neighborhood of Los Angeles came to a virtual stop as two cars engaged in a legendary standoff over a parking space on April 1. Fox News reported that Mariah Flores, who was positioned across the street, documented the entire two-hour dispute on Twitter, as the “black car” and the “silver car” jockeyed to parallel park in one open spot along the sidewalk. As horns honked and tensions mounted, a “plot twist” changed the whole dynamic: The owner of a third vehicle, parked in front of the empty space, left, leaving room for both black and silver to park. The drivers quickly settled their vehicles in the spaces but then sat in their cars for some time. “Like are they afraid of each other or is it just awkward now?” Flores wondered. Finally, the driver of the silver car emerged, prompting Flores’ comment, “SILVER takes the gold.”

Too much money

A wealthy San Francisco philanthropist, Florence Fang, 84, is being sued by the city of Hillsborough over the “Flintstones” home and grounds she has created in the suburb. The oddly shaped house was built in 1976, and Fang bought it in 2017. Today it’s painted purple and red, features a large “Yabba Dabba Do” sign near the driveway, and Fang has added dinosaur and mushroom figurines, along with Fred Flintstone himself, to the yard. “We don’t like it when people build things first, then come in and demand or ask for permission later,” huffed Assistant

resides at the Stock Island Detention Center in Florida, where he awaits trial for first-degree murder and armed robbery. Jenai sold her CrossFit shares for $20 million after her divorce and now lives in Portland, Oregon. She and Tucker, childhood friends, reconnected on Facebook before Tucker’s arrest, and she has risen to his defense, offering to put up his $1 million bond (which was denied in January) and hiring private investigators for his case. She has not been able to see Tucker in person. Tucker and Jenai are scheduled to wed in prison, and she told the Daily Mail she won’t ask him to sign a prenPeople different from us Kaz James, 37, from Salford, Greater up: It feels “a little inappropriate. ... I Manchester, England, has known since trust him. I love him. My house is his he was a child that he was different from house.” other people. “I didn’t ever feel like a human. I always felt like a dog that was really out of place,” James told Metro News. He first started to understand his peculiarity when he gained access to the internet at 17 years old. “I was known by my friends for ... grabbing hold of the collar of their shirt in my teeth and biting or licking them, very canine-type behaviors,” James said. Today he eats out of a dog bowl and owns three custom-made dog suits — one a $2,600 fur suit shipped from Canada. “(M)y behaviors were quite dog-like in childhood, probably from the age of 6,” he said. “No one ever talked about it. It was never mentioned.” City Attorney Mark Hudak, who told KTVU Fang built without the proper permits and the property is subject to code violations along with offending the neighbors’ aesthetic sensibilities. But Angela Alioto, Fang’s attorney, said the home is Fang’s “happy place.” Fang doesn’t live in the home but uses it for entertainment and charitable events. “She’s had an incredible life, and I think it’s wonderful that, at 84 years old, she has found something that makes her so happy,” Alioto told the San Mateo Daily Journal.

What’s in a name?

The Smuggler’s Inn on Canada View Drive in Blaine, Washington, sits just a stone’s throw from the Canadian border. Fittingly, on April 4, a Canadian court charged its owner, Robert Joseph Boule, 69, with 21 counts of “inducing, aiding or abetting” seven people who tried to illegally enter Canada between May 2018 and March 2019. Boule had remarked to CBC News in the past that it wasn’t unusual to see people with night-vision goggles sneaking across the border at night. He remains in custody in Canada. Visit newsoftheweird.com.

The aristocrats!

• When you purchase a new home, you need new stuff to put in it. So it was for Andrew Francis Lippi, 59, of Key Haven, Florida. Lippi purchased an $8 million private island, Thompson Island, off Key West in early April, which includes a large estate previously owned by philanthropist Edward B. Knight. But on April 6, Lippi was charged with felony grand theft for stealing $300 worth of home goods from Kmart, including two coffeemakers, eight lightbulbs and a bed skirt. His method was clever: He bought the items, then returned their boxes with other things packed inside, according to the Miami Herald. (For example, a basketball was in the Keurig box.) Lippi, speaking to the Herald, denied the charges and said, “Basically it has to do with a commercial dispute. ... It’s very complicated and I’d rather not get into it.” He’s scheduled to appear in court on April 18. • Lauren Jenai, 47, co-founder (with her ex-husband) of CrossFit, has struck up a new romance with an old flame: Franklin Tyrone Tucker, also 47, who

SEACOAST SCENE | APRIL 18 - 24, 2019 | PAGE 30

PET OF THE WEEK Rask is a 5-year-old German Shepherd mix. He is bouncy and high energy when he is comfortable but can get overwhelmed in new situations. He’d be best in an adults only low-key household. He would love to be the focus of his new family’s life and therefore would prefer to not share his household with other animals. He’s a sweet boy worthy of a second chance. Like all the animals available for adoption at the New Hampshire SPCA in Stratham, Rask is neutered, micro-chipped and up to date on all his shots. Visit nhspca.org.

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