For the Love of Ice Cream – Seacaost Scene – 07/22/2021

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For the love of

ICE CREAM Where to find your favorite flavors and other cool treats on the coast

INSIDE: HERE SHE COMES, MISS HAMPTON BEACH


A WORD FROM LARRY

Downtown Hampton For this issue I want to take you away from the beach to downtown Hampton. The trip is only about 10 minutes from the beach, and there is free parking at the town parking lot. There are many small businessLarry Marsolais es downtown, but these are five that I’ve had great experiences at. If you like pizza, you have to visit Zesto Pizza on High Street. The food is great and the staff is always friendly. You can eat in or take out and they have a very long list of food choices. Amazing pizza! Across the street is Tobey & Merrill Insurance, and they have been downtown for many years. Great group of people. One of the best places to eat is The Old Salt

Restaurant. Seafood is right up there at the top and the menu is full of really good food. This is a family friendly place and the staff is top notch. The owners are always doing something for their community and giving back when they can. Right down the street in Depot Square is Financial Advisors Edward Jones Investments. If you have any kind of financial questions this is your place to go and these are people who are great to work with and really know their stuff. If you’re thinking of retirement, you definitely want to check them out. Also in Depot Square: Seacoast Auto Repair. I have been a customer for many years and have always had the best service. A friendly and fair mechanic is hard to find so bring your auto in! Larry Marsolais is a past president of the Hampton Rotary Club.

COVER STORY

4 For the love of ice cream

PEOPLE & PLACES

JULY 22 - 28, 2021

VOL 46 NO 15

Advertising Staff

Charlene Nichols Seacoast Scene Advertising Sales Manager (603) 625-1855, Ext.126 Charlene@seacoastscene.net

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COVER

For the love of

ICE CREAM Photo courtesy of Stillwells River Walk Ice Cream.

By Caleb Jagoda It seems that nothing, not even a pandemic, can stand in the way of people getting their favorite flavors of ice cream. “Throughout when Covid first started and last summer up until now, it seemed like business never really got too dead. ... We stayed open the whole time,” said Maggie Nutbrown, manager at Stillwells Riverwalk Ice Cream in Exeter. “There was really nothing else to do but go out for ice cream.” Nutbrown, who’s worked at Stillwells for two years, said the biggest change they made at their Exeter location was deciding to only allow one party inside the store at a time. And to help enforce that, the business removed all benches and indoor seating. “I don’t think that’s going to be permanentbut we’ve had that from the start of Covid up until now,” Nutbrown said. As a family-owned business, she said, Stillwells hopes to be a center of community for New Hampshire towns. With a total of seven locations across New Hampshire, it has been able to provide an abundance of outlets for people to get outside and safely spend time with each other. “It’s been pretty busy,” Nutbrown said. “Especially when it started to get warm again, we got really busy because people are getting vaccinated, so more and more people are leaving [their homes.]” Still, the industry hasn’t been without its challenges. In Rye, the Ice House also decided to do away with indoor seating during the pandemic. Staffing issues along with Covid SEACOAST SCENE | JULY 22 - 28, 2021 | PAGE 4

concerns forced the family-owned business to keep their dining room empty, manager Meg Bishop said. “I pray that our dining room’s open next season,” Bishop said. “I hope that’s not a permanent change … but right now there’s such a staff shortage that we don’t have the people to open the dining room back up. … This summer’s been a little bit harder because there is such a shortage of staff … like we have kids going back to college and we’re having a hard time finding replacements for them for the fall.” Bishop said that higher supply costs were another unexpected corollary from the pandemic, with everything from sugar cones to plastic cups upping in price and scarcity. “It’s just weird stuff that everybody’s like, ‘Oh it’s because of Covid.’ I’m starting to think that’s just an excuse,” Bishop joked. “And then the price of everything is crazy, like our costs are crazy.” Despite these challenges, Bishop said she was glad that the Ice House’s big back lawn allowed people to get outside and spend socially distanced time with one another even with a shut-down dining room. And through it all, she can always count on the ice cream diehards wbo come out for a cone rain or shine, pandemic or no pandemic. “There are those crazies, though, that will still come out in the pouring rain or freezing cold,” Bishop said, laughing. Here are some of the spots along the Seacoast where you can find ice cream, slushies, smoothies and more.

Get your ice cream

Check out some of the places along the Seacoast that offer hard and soft-serve ice cream, frozen yogurt and more. The Beach Plum Ice Cream Stand (17 Ocean Blvd., North Hampton, 603-964-7451, thebeachplum.net) has four locations (Epping, Salem, Portsmouth, and North Hampton) and has a food menu as well as ice cream and various desserts. They have over 70 ice cream and frozen yogurt flavors, sherbert, frappes, freezes, smoothies, floats, sundaes and more. Their North Hampton location is open 11 a.m. to 10 p.m. daily. Ceal’s Cold Creations (192 Ocean Blvd., Seabrook, 603-474-1995) is an ice cream and food shop in Seabrook. They are open noon to 10 p.m. daily. Dunlap’s Ice Cream (418 Route 286, Seabrook, 603-474-7272, facebook.com/ ScoopinSmiles) is an ice cream and food store serving over 40 flavors of hard ice cream, five flavors of frozen yogurt, four flavors of softserve, Richie’s Italian Ice, typhoons, frappes, sundaes, banana splits, Dunlap bars, ice cream sandwiches and ice cream cakes. They are open 11 a.m. through 10 p.m. daily. Hodgies Too (136 Rabbit Road, Salisbury, and 251 Low St., Newburyport, 978-4630214, 978-255-2163, hodgiestooicecream. com) is an ice cream store with over 30 flavors of hard ice cream, four flavors and two twists of soft-serve ice cream and two different locations, with one in Salisbury and one in Newburyport. Both locations are open 11:30 a.m. to 10 p.m. daily.

Harbor Creamery (39 Pleasant St., Newburyport, 978-255-2440, harborcreamery. com) is an ice cream store with house-made ice cream with a variety of rotating flavors every week, from traditional to seasonal flavors. They are open daily 11:30 a.m. to 9:30 p.m. Haley’s Ice Cream (168 Route 1 Traffic Circle, Newburyport, 978-462-6000, facebook.com/HaleysIceCream) is an ice cream and food shop in Newburyport. They are open 11 a.m. to 9 p.m. daily. The Ice House (112 Wentworth Road, Rye, 603-431-3086, theicehouserestaurant. com) is a food and ice cream establishment first opened in 1980 that was rebuilt in 2002. They offer ice cream, frappes, floats, freezes, malts and banana splits, as well as a food menu. They are open 11:30 a.m. to 9 p.m. Wednesday through Sunday and offer takeout and picnic table dining only. Lago’s Lone Oak Ice Cream (71 Lafayette Road, Rye, 603-964-9880, lagosicecream. com) is an ice cream store with over 30 flavors of hard ice cream, frozen yogurt, sherbert, sundaes, banana splits, frappes, freezes, floats and their “polar joe,” which is a blend of ice cream and cold coffee. Their hours are noon to 9 p.m. daily. Pat’s World Famous (3 D St., Hampton, 781-462-6201, patsworldfamous.com) is a food and ice cream shop on Hampton Beach. They have 15 flavors of hard ice cream, sundaes and smoothies. They also have a food menu and are open daily, 11 a.m. to 7 p.m. Simply Sweet (12 Inn St., Newburyport, 978-462-3226, simplysweetnewburyport.


com) is an ice cream and candy store that sells over 40 flavors of Blake’s Ice Cream, frappes, sundaes and more. They are open 11 a.m. to 6 p.m. Monday through Thursday, 11 a.m. to 9 p.m. Friday and Saturday and noon to 7 p.m. on Sunday. Stats Ice Cream (197 Ocean Blvd., Hampton, 603-601-8178, facebook.com/K. StatsHB) sells ice cream, smoothies and food on Hampton Beach. They have 16 flavors of hard ice cream, two flavors and a twist of soft-serve ice cream (chocolate, vanilla and a chocolate-vanilla twist) and two flavors of frozen yogurt (black raspberry chip and coffee Heath bar). They are open 11 a.m. to 11 p.m. daily and are located inside of The Candy Corner. Stillwells Riverwalk Ice Cream (190 Water St., Exeter, 603-777-5077, stillwellsicecream.com) is an ice cream store that sells Richardson’s ice cream, soft-serve frozen yogurt, italian ice, frappes, smoothies and more. They also have a Hampton location (356 Lafayette Road, Hampton, 603-9266990, stillwellsicecream.com ) called Still Stillwells Ice Cream, which offers much of the same selection as the Exeter location including over 60 flavors of Richardson’s ice cream. They are open noon to 9 p.m. Sunday through Thursday and noon to 9:30 p.m. Saturday and Sunday at their Hampton location, and noon to 9 p.m. Monday through Thursday and noon to 9:30 p.m. Friday through Sunday at their Exeter location. Susie’s Sweets (845 Lafeyette Road, Hampton, 603-601-6256, susies-sweets-nh. com) offers hard ice cream, soft-serve, dessert smoothies (like the Beach Babe, with orange sherbet, raspberry sorbet, pineapples, magos and coconut milk), sundaes and more. You can also make your own ice cream sandwich by choosing a cookie base, two flavors of ice cream and a topping to roll it in. Susie’s is open from noon to 9 p.m. seven days a week. A second shop in Seabrook is scheduled to open soon; find it on Facebook for updates. Sweet Hannah’s (81 Ocean Blvd., Hampton, 169 Ocean Blvd, Hampton, 603601-6665, sweethannahs.com) is an ice cream and dessert store with two locations near Hampton Beach. They are open 10 a.m. to 10 p.m. daily. Swell Willey’s (4 Broadway, Salisbury, 978-465-554, swellwilleys.com) is an ice cream, coffee and candy store on Salisbury Beach. They are open 10 a.m. to 10 p.m. daily.

Just slushies and smoothies

Check out some of the places along the Seacoast that offer smoothies, shaved ice and more. GroundSwell Surf Café (25 Broadway, Salisbury, 978-255-1456, groundswellsurfcafe.com) is a smoothie and food establishment on Salisbury Beach. They offer breakfast, lunch and dinner food options as well as smoothies, acai bowls, frappes, coffee, and tea. They are open 7 a.m. to 7 p.m. daily.

The Juice Box (77 Lafayette Road, North Hampton, 603-964-0640, ourjuicebox.com) sells smoothies, juices, coffee and food in North Hampton. They also have “nutrient boosts” you can add to smoothies, “natural shot” concoctions, bowls and more. They are open daily 7 a.m. to 6 p.m. The Juicery (40 State St., Newburyport, 978-255-2652, juicery.com) is a juice and smoothie bar with nine locations that also sells natural shots and acai bowls. They have classic smoothies, specialty smoothies, organic juices and super juices, and nutritional supplements you can add to any order. They are open 7 a.m. to 7 p.m. daily. Kona Ice (603-431-7378, kona-ice.com) is a nationwide chain of shaved ice trucks that cater events of any sort as well as driving through neighborhoods selling shaved ice. They have 10 available flavors of shaved ice at a time in their “Flavorwave” that customers apply to their shaved ice themselves. Additional flavors are kept within the trucks, including sugar-free and other special flavors. Revitalive Cafe & Juice Bar (50 Water St., Newburyport, 855-584-2328, revitalive. com) is a juice, snack and cleanse bar located inside the tannery marketplace in Mill 1. They sell juices, shots, snacks, coffee, tea, smoothies, acai and pitaya smoothie bowls and nutritional shots. They are open 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. Wednesday through Saturday and 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. on Sunday. Secret Spot (931 Ocean Blvd., Hampton, secretspothampton.com) is a smoothie and food store on Hampton Beach. They sell smoothies, acai bowls, burritos, wraps and breakfast foods. Their smoothies include protein smoothies, acai smoothies and original smoothies. They are open daily 7 a.m. to 7 p.m. Slush Factory (169 Ocean Blvd., Hampton, 877-207-5874, hamptonbeachcasinonh.com/ slush_factory.html) is a slush store that sells customizable slushes and has its flagship store in Hampton. They have 16 featured flavors at a time that customers can mix and match. They are open 11 a.m. to 10 p.m. Wednesday through Monday and 1 to 10 p.m. on Tuesday. Surf Smoothie (169 Ocean Blvd., Hampton, hamptonbeachcasinonh.com/surfsmoothie) is a smoothie shop within the Hampton Beach Casino boardwalk. They sell smoothies, acai bowls, granola and a variety of toppings. Their hours are unclear online.

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Unique frozen treats

Try something that’s a little different than your average ice cream. Dolce Freddo Gelato (38 Market Square, Newburyport, 978-462-1002, dfgelato.com) is an Italian gelato, sorbetto and cold dessert store with two locations (Methuen and Newburyport). They have over 120 flavors of gelato and sorbetto. Their Newburyport location is open 11 a.m. to 10 p.m. Monday through Thursday, 11 a.m. to 11 p.m. Friday, 10 a.m. to 11 p.m. Saturday and 10 a.m. to 10 p.m. Sunday.

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It wasn’t until retirement that Seacoast residents Jan Labrecque and Suzanne Manzi discovered their love of painting; now, they have a full exhibit, “Seacoast Summer,” on display in the Lane House Arts Center for the month of July. The exhibit consists of mostly recent works from both artists and displays iconic scenes of New Hampshire’s and Maine’s coastlines captured in watercolor, acrylics and oil. Labrecque, a former Massachusetts teacher, didn’t take up watercolor until her retirement, but in the almost 20 years since then, she’s been exceptionally busy. Traveling to Italy, France, Florida, Quebec, Cape Cod and Monhegan Island, to name a few places, Labrecque has taken an abundance of painting workshops as part of her journey in honing her craft as an artist. “I didn’t realize that painting was going to become my passion, actually,” Labrecque said. “It has been my passion since I retired, and I’ve had a very busy life. I’ve been teaching and bringing up two sons, so I’ve had a great life, and you know, there’s something they typically say, ‘Oh, now that you’re retired, you have plenty of time.’ No! I’m continuously busy, and I really thrive on being busy.” Labrecque has become such a dedicated painter in her retirement years that she’s even graduated to instructor, teaching a number of watercolor classes on the Seacoast and in Florida, where she lives in the winter. “Suzanne was actually one of my students, and she’s pursued her art, which is wonderful, so I’m really happy to be doing it with her,” Labrecque said. Both Labrecque and Manzi specialize in en plein air, a method of painting where artists sit outside and capture what they’re seeing in front of them. While painting is often thought of as a solitary hobby, Labrecque and Manzi have enjoyed the communal aspects of the art form, often painting in groups doing en plein air, traveling with painting friends on art excursions and joining artist groups such as the Seacoast Arts Association in Exeter and collectives in Florida where they both reside in the winter. While Labrecque moved up to the Seacoast after retiring, Manzi has always lived within 30 miles of her birthplace, she said, being born in Newburyport and currently residing at Seabrook Beach. It’s an area she’s never grown tired of, and one she hopes to capture the natural beauty of in her artwork. “I think living here for over 50 years I just enjoy expressing what I see and all the places that attract me,” Manzi said. “I look out my window and I never take it for granted. It’s beautiful every day in a different way.”

Artists Suzanne Manzi and Jan Lebrecque. Courtesy photo.

Simply being attentive and peaceful outdoors and attempting to capture the landscape and horizon as they morph brings Manzi immense joy, whether it’s on a sojourn in Europe or even just off the coast of Maine. “I’ll tell you, some of my best memories were just taking a watercolor kit sailing with us,” she said. “Just sitting at an anchorage and painting what I saw in front of me. … That Maine coastline is beautiful for painting. What I enjoy the most is being outside in the nature and just enjoying the sounds and the view around me. It’s a good feeling.” Manzi’s paintings in the LHAC exhibit feature mostly smaller paintings, although she’s hoping to attempt some larger works in the future. Meanwhile Labrecque’s paintings at the exhibit span a range of sizes, from as small as a postcard to some pretty sizable works. After going together to see a Lane House art exhibit last summer, the pair talked to LHAC founder and gallerist Karen Desrosiers and decided that it’d be a whole lot of fun to have an exhibit of their own. A year later, that thought has become a reality, with Labrecque and Manzi eager to share their artwork with the public and express what painting means to them. “A painting should tell a story on its own,” Manzi said. “I like being able to hopefully show that there’s been a reason for this presentation. There’s a story. So I think that’s a highlight of what I’d like people to leave with: that they understood the feeling and the story behind it.” The exhibit is on display at the LHAC in Hampton from July 1 to July 31 and is open Wednesday through Saturday from 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. and by appointment. — Caleb Jagoda


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PEOPLE AND PLACES

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On Sunday, July 25, the 75th Miss Hampton Beach Pageant — an event that has welcomed contestants from across the nation and world — will take place at the Sea Shell Stage. “I’ve had young women in just my 25 years compete from New England states, but also New York, Florida, Texas and Europe,” said Pageant Director Stephanie Rose Lussier. “People vacation from everywhere at Hampton Beach.” She said she sometimes refers to the pageant as her sister sorority, as it provides young women with “an opportunity to make friends with people they might not ever meet and possibly create their own network pool.” “All the while, it provides a fun venue to learn interview skills, time management, stage presence, teamwork and camaraderie,” she said. Lussier knows the event as well as anyone, as she was first runner-up to the pageant title in 1994, when it was still held in the Casino Ballroom. She came back the next year for the 50th anniversary and won. “At the time, I had been competing in pageants and earning scholarship money for college,” she said. “My family owns a corner lot at Hampton Beach where we have always had and rented cottages.” Though billed as the 75th edition, the pageant is actually more than 100 years old, according to Lussier. “Although this will be the 75th pageant, that was when it was incorporated with a state registered title,” she said. “Prior to that, it was always a Carnival Queen crowned each year for selling the most tickets or later getting the most votes.” For contestants, this rich history serves as backdrop to what last year’s winner, Anna-Marie Alukonis, described as a competition with “a very fun and incredibly relaxed environment.” “In the morning, we began our day with an interview at the Purple Urchin,” she recounted. “The judges were incredibly welcoming and kind.” Upon completion of the interview, all contestants went out for lunch at the Green Room at Hampton Beach. Once the show began, she said, they danced in the opening number and walked in swimwear and evening gown before the Top 5 was announced. From there, each remaining contestant answered a question. “Shortly after that, I found myself hand in hand with my first runner-up, Sophia,” said Alukonis. “In the next breath, I was crowned Miss Hampton Beach. … The experience was humbling and full of fun.” It is an experience that comes with responsibilities, too, as Lussier said Miss Hampton Beach is ultimately “a spokesperson and ambassador of tourism for Hampton Beach and the Seacoast.”

Courtesy photo.

Alukonis agreed and said this past year has been full of “amazing opportunities,” which have included participation in the Newburyport Yankee Homecoming parade and helping raise money for the Special Olympics of New Hampshire. “My sister queens [Jr. Miss Hampton Beach Oliva and Little Miss Hampton Beach Riley] and I were presented a plethora of opportunities and, as a group, took full advantage of them,” she said. “Traveling the Seacoast and engaging with the community has been so rewarding. The Miss Hampton Beach Pageant is an incredible part of history and to have a community that cares for the pageant so deeply makes every event so special.” It is an event, noted Lussier, that takes a lot of support from the local community and state, many of whom helped to ensure last year’s event could still be held despite the pandemic. As for the future of the current Miss Hampton Beach, Alukonis said she plans to continue to work hard in school, as she is currently studying to become a nurse at Curry College in Milton, Massachusetts. “I hope to one day specialize in Aesthetics Nursing,” she said. For now, though, her plan is to continue to give back to her community by volunteering. “Hampton Beach holds a special place in my heart, as it was the very first pageant I ever competed in at the age of 10,” she said. “Little did I know at the time, but it was just the beginning of a lifetime of experiences and opportunities that I will cherish forever. … I am beyond grateful to have been able to represent Hampton Beach after nine years of starting my journey at that very spot.” The 75th Miss Hampton Beach Pageant will be held at the Sea Shell Stage at 2 p.m. on Sunday, July 25. The annual Little Miss and Junior Miss Hampton Beach will be held at the stage the day before, on Saturday, July 24, at 2 p.m. Both pageants are free to attend. — Rob Levey


CAR TALK

Look for a gem — but not a GEM — to replace aging Saturn Dear Car Talk: I need advice on what kind of car to get. My 1992 Saturn is near its end. I rarely drive, since I walk, bike, e-bike or bus for most trips under 10 miles. I would like a car By Ray Magliozzi for those trips of 10 miles or more, or at night or in the rain. That means I’ll need the car once or twice a month. As an environmentalist, I am strongly inclined to get an electric car. But I think that that may be a bad idea, since I read that batteries need to be used in order to retain their service life. Would you recommend an electric car for someone who only drives 20 to 50 miles twice a month? A GEM would be perfect for 90% of my trips. But every once in a while, there will be a trip outside its range, or I would need to use a bridge or a tunnel that it is not allowed on. — Michelle Wow, you are a committed environmentalist, Michelle. It’s not all the biking and e-biking that convinced me. It’s that you’d actually consider a GEM, which is essentially a golf cart. That’s commitment! I’d take that off your list. That’s about the only thing you can buy that would be a downgrade from your ‘92 Saturn. A real car will be much safer and more com-

fortable. Oh, and drier in the rain. I don’t think I’d hesitate to buy an actual electric car (EV) if I were you, Michelle. I’m not aware of any issues with EV battery life diminishing from lack of use. Like most vehicles, they get worn out through use. So, generally speaking, the less you use it, the longer it should last. And if your maximum trip is really 50 miles, you’re a candidate for the least expensive EVs; the ones that have limited range. For instance, Mini makes a Cooper that only goes about 100 miles on a charge. That’s a nonstarter for most people. But for you, that’s more than enough. And it’s not only fun to drive (and cute!), but it’s reasonably priced. It starts at about $30,000, before the $7,500 federal rebate and any state rebates you’re entitled to. Or you can look at a Kia Niro, Chevy Bolt, a Nissan Leaf or VW ID4 — all very nice, compact EVs that have more range than you’ll typically need. And don’t forget the best part of owning an electric vehicle. You can always plug it into your neighbor’s outdoor outlet. Dear Car Talk: My 2007 Honda Ridgeline has 123,000 miles on it. For over a year, I’ve been trying to get a small oil leak repaired. My trusted local shop did a dye test and replaced the valve cover gaskets and plenum gasket. Still leaks. Then they

replaced the oil pan gasket. Still leaks. They resealed an “unknown bolt” only accessible by removing the passenger side axle. Still leaks. They finally suggested I go to the Honda dealership to take advantage of their greater expertise. The dealership resealed the same “mystery bolt” for 2.5 times the cost with the same result. Still leaks. The dealership now says it may be the oil pump ($1,500), which would include another oil pan gasket. My local shop won’t quote a price as they don’t believe the pump is the cause. I’m at $1,200 in futile repairs, but if I thought the oil pump replacement would be the cure, I’d go for it. I’m getting tired of cardboard on the garage floor. What do you think? — Alvah I think the dealer is right. The leak is probably coming from the oil pump. The pump itself may actually be fine. But it’s got a bunch of odd-shaped seals that are built into its machined openings, and those seals are what eventually leak. So the solution is to replace the pump. If you don’t know your way around this engine, it’s easy to think that the oil pan is what’s leaking. The leaky pump will actually let oil run down to the edge of the pan, so it mimics a bad oil pan gasket. If your local guys had gone online and done some research, they probably would have figured that out and saved you a bunch of money.

So I do fault them for not taking advantage of a resource that every mechanic ought to be using these days: the internet. There’s a lot of terrible information out there, too. No doubt. But when faced with a tricky problem, a savvy mechanic can weed through it and often find great clues in postings and YouTube videos from mechanics and even competent do-it-yourselfers. So, I’d go back to those guys and say: “Hey, look. The dealership says it’s the oil pump. How about you credit me for some of the work you already did and give me a break on the oil pump replacement?” If they’re as trusty as you say, they’ll take some responsibility for the goose chase and adjust the price. I think they owe you a shot at fixing this correctly. And by the way, getting to the oil pump requires removing the oil pan again (that’s why you’ll need another new gasket when they put it all back together), removing the timing belt, the belt tensioner and the water pump, too. So if you’re due — or anywhere close to due — to replace those other parts, you might as well do them at the same time, since all you’ll be paying for is the parts, and not additional labor. But I think replacing the oil pump will solve your current problem. Visit Cartalk.com.

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SEACOAST SCENE | JULY 22 - 28, 2021 | PAGE 9


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AT THE SACRED COD FOOD TRUCK Paul Chartier got his first job at a fish market at the age of 14 and hasn’t looked back. For more than four decades he has worked with seafood in some capacity, including as owner of a fishmonger business called the Oldsquaw Fish Co. in the seaside city of Gloucester, Mass., for 15 years. About five years ago, Chartier bought a food truck and began working toward offering a menu focused on fresh fish. The Sacred Cod Food Truck (sacred-cod.com, find them on Facebook and Instagram), as it’s now known, features many items Chartier has worked on over a period of several years. Menu items include fried haddock, which can be ordered as a plate of fish and chips with coleslaw, as tacos with handmade tortillas or as sandwiches with lettuce, cheese and Chartier’s own scratch-made tartar sauce. He also serves a lemon and dill salmon burger, made fresh with scallions, garlic and Dijon mustard. You can find The Sacred Cod Food Truck every Friday from 4 to 8 p.m. at BareWolf Brewing (12 Oakland St., Amesbury, Mass.), and Chartier also regularly appears at Brewery Silvaticus (9 Water St., Amesbury, Mass.) and Newburyport Brewing Co. (4 New Pasture Road, Newburyport, Mass.). The Scene recently caught up with Chartier to talk about his unique journey from fishmonger to food trucker.

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How long has The Sacred Cod Food I get an awful lot of compliments on my tarTruck been around? tar sauce, but I just make it the way I like it. The summer of 2019 was my first year. The truck took a couple of years to build. I had to What celebrity would you like to see completely gut it from the inside out when I ordering from the truck? first got it. Eric Clapton. He’s an English boy so he’d enjoy a fried haddock sandwich, I’m sure of it. What makes The Sacred Cod Food Truck unique? What is an essential skill to running a I don’t know anybody else who does what food truck? I do and also has the knowledge of the fish You’ve got to be self-motivated. Let’s business that I do. … I still have a lot of con- face it — the restaurant business is a ton tacts in Gloucester, so I usually try to get of work, and far more a labor of love dayboat fish. than anything else. You’ve got to care about the quality of the food you’re What is your favorite thing on your putting out and to have personal pride in what menu? you’re doing. The fried haddock, no doubt. What is your favorite thing about being What is something everyone should try? on the Seacoast? We’re known for our fish and chips, but the I just love the salt marshes, whether it’s in haddock sandwich with tartar sauce, lettuce Seabrook or on the backside of Gloucester. and cheese is kind of our signature [item]. … — Matt Ingersoll

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BLUEBERRY CRISP BARS Makes 16 2½ cups fresh blueberries ⅓ cup granulated sugar 2 Tablespoons cornstarch ½ Tablespoon lemon juice 1 cup all-purpose flour ⅔ cup light brown sugar 1 teaspoon cinnamon ½ teaspoon baking soda ½ teaspoon salt 10 Tablespoons cold unsalted butter, cubed 1¼ cups old-fashioned oats Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line an 8×8 pan with parchment paper, and coat with nonstick spray. Set aside. Place the blueberries in a medium bowl. Sprinkle the sugar and cornstarch over the blueberries; toss to coat. Add lemon juice and stir to combine; set aside.

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of flavor, so you can skip buying and juicing lemons. Michele Pesula Kuegler has been thinking about food her entire life. Since 2007, the New Hampshire native has been sharing these food thoughts and recipes at her blog, Think Tasty. Visit thinktasty.com to find more of her recipes.

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Combine the flour, brown sugar, cinnamon, baking soda, and salt in a large bowl. Add the cubed butter to the flour mixture. Use a pastry blender, two forks, or your fingers, and cut the butter into the mixture until it resembles small peas. Add oatmeal to the flour mixture, and stir well to combine. Press approximately 1¾ cups of the mixture into the bottom of the prepared pan. Spread the blueberry mixture on top of the crust. Sprinkle remaining crust mixture evenly on top of the blueberries and press lightly. Bake for 45 minutes uncovered. Cover with foil and bake for an additional 10-15 minutes or until a knife in the center shows only blueberry juice and no raw dough. Remove from the oven and cool on a baking rack.

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It’s berry season in New Hampshire, which means it’s time to get some fruit and start baking! Growing up with wild blueberries in my backyard, this fruit was always part of my summer. Blueberry muffins, pancakes and crisps were made regularly this time of year. You might notice that I didn’t mention blueberry pies. There may have been one or two, but I am not a fan of pie. Call me odd, but I find pie crust to be boring. I would much rather enjoy my blueberries in a different format. After years of making blueberry crisp, I decided to see if I could transform that recipe from a “serve it in a bowl” dessert to something that might need only a plate or napkin. Thus, I have this recipe for blueberry crisp bars. These bars have that same sweet and crumbly topping of oats and brown sugar for the base as well. That means you’re getting two layers of oat-y goodness filled with sweet and jammy blueberries. Two important notes on the ingredients for this recipe. The blueberries need to be fresh. If you use frozen, there will be extra liquid, which will make the bars soggy. Although the blueberries need to be fresh, the lemon juice can come out of the bottle. You need a little tartness but not a ton

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SEACOAST SCENE | JULY 22 - 28, 2021 | PAGE 11




FOOD

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Why flowers smell so good is a bit of a mystery. I mean, we know why they smell good — to attract bees, hummingbirds and chorus girls — but nobody has ever been able to figure out how to breed reliably fragrant roses, for instance. The intersection of botany and human chemoreceptors is a complicated and mysterious dance. Nowhere more so than in a cocktail. Scientists estimate that somewhere around 80 percent of everything we eat is actually based on what it smells like. If you’re holding a shmancy party and want to serve a cheese board, experts will tell you to take the cheese out of the fridge an hour or so before you actually want to serve it, so that the volatile chemicals in the cheese loosen up and become easier to smell, and thus, taste. This is one of the reasons why so many cocktail recipes call for you to chill a cocktail so thoroughly — as your drink warms up, the flavor will evolve as the esters float up into the back of your palate. That gets tricky, though, when you are basing your cocktail on floral smells. Rose water or lavender pull you into a dangerous standoff — too little, and your drink won’t taste like much of anything. One drop too much, and you’re dealing with the little decorative soaps in your grandmother’s bathroom. This drink depends on that. Your first sip or two should be extremely cold. The taste should be crisp and a little gin-forward. As it warms up — and, not for nothin’ that’s why glasses have stems; to slow down the warming process — it will start to smell more perfumy and floral. The taste will match the color; it will start to taste pink.

Rose N. Hibiscus

Rose N. Hibiscus. Photo by John Fladd.

Why this strange combination works so well: The botanical backnotes in the gin play well with the rose water. Roses play well with almonds — in this case, the amaretto. Almonds and lemons go together extremely well. Lemon, in its turn, is a classic pairing with gin. The hibiscus makes it pink. If you like your drink a little crisper, pour small amounts of it into your glass at a time, and drink it extremely cold. If you want a little more of the flowers, pour it all in one go and let the perfume develop as you drink it. Much like carnations and alstroemeria, this is delicious to share with somebody without making anything weird between you. All it says is, “I like spending time with you.”

Hibiscus Syrup 5 ounces water 5 ounces sugar 1/3 ounce fresh squeezed lemon juice 1/3 ounce dried hibiscus blossoms Combine sugar and water in a small saucepan and bring to a boil, stirring often. Let the simple syrup boil for 10 to 15 seconds to make certain the sugar is completely dissolved. Remove from heat. Add lemon juice and hibiscus blossoms. Cover and steep for 30 minutes. Strain and bottle. Keep indefinitely in your refrigerator.

2 ounces gin (For this, I used Collective Arts Rhubarb and Hibiscus Gin, which a friend who distributes gin in New Hampshire gave me, because it is gently hibiscus-y, but pretty much any gin will work, though it will add its own stamp onto the finished drink.) 1 ounce hibiscus syrup (see below) 1 ounce fresh squeezed lemon juice A Market in Manchester carries dried 1/3 oz. amaretto hibiscus and they can also be found online. 5 drops rose water Rose water is available in most supermarkets and can usually be found in the Combine all ingredients over ice in a international foods aisle. cocktail shaker. Shake until very cold. Strain into a martini glass. John Fladd is a writer and cocktail enthusiast living in New Hampshire.


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BOOK REVIEW

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Noise, by Daniel Kahneman, Olivier Sibony and Cass R. Sunstein (Little, Brown Spark, 398 pages) Five years ago, writing in Harvard Business Review, the esteemed psychologist and economist Daniel Kahneman joined with a few other enviably smart people to discuss the concept of noise: not the kind your neighbors make while you’re trying to sleep, but the kind that clouds judgments, sometimes to devastating effect. This kind of noise, as Kahneman describes it, is the wide variance in outcomes that we might think should be similar but instead are all over the map. One of the most obvious examples of this is in criminal justice, where one person might get a 20-year sentence for a crime, while another gets five years and community service. That makes the criminal justice system particularly noisy, in Kahneman terms. But even if you don’t plan on going to jail, noise in human judgment probably affects you, as people such as doctors and loan officers also have wide discretion in their decisions. It’s not just unusual — it’s unnervingly common — for physicians to offer different diagnoses a few weeks apart when researchers present them with the exact same case. And completely unrelated things such as whether people have eaten recently and whether their sports team won over the weekend can affect the decisions they make. It’s an important subject and one worthy of consideration, more so if you’re in a noisy profession or at the mercy of one. And so fans of Kahneman, whose 2011 book Thinking, Fast and Slow was universally lauded, might be excited to delve into his latest, Noise, A Flaw in Human Judgment, written with Olivier Sibony and Cass Sunstein. Unfortunately, most of us would be better off just reading the Harvard Business Review article from 2016, which lays out the principles of noise without causing the reader unnecessary pain. Noise is a scholarly book written for a scholarly audience that is at the forefront of the literary conversation only because Thinking, Fast and Slow was so wellreceived. Had this manuscript fallen into the hands of a publisher who knew nothing of the authors or their past credits, it would have been cut in half or, equally likely, still languish in the slush pile. To their credit, the authors did try to simplify their subject for a mass audience. Or at least one of them did. You never know, with three authors, who is writing at any

given point, and Noise is erratic in its understandability. You might say the book itself is noisy. Some chapters read like AP psychology, others like an Ivy League dissertation. Not that they didn’t give us warning. In the opening to the book, the authors suggest some readers might want to skip the first four parts of the book (there are six) and go straight to Part 5, essentially skipping half the book. But people who do that will miss some of the book’s interesting content, including how the free-throw averages of NBA players have the wide variability of noise despite the hoop always being 10 feet away and the ball always weighing 22 ounces. That’s because the players are susceptible to the same lottery-like forces that we are in our daily lives. We are not the same people that we were 10 years ago, or even 10 minutes ago, because of variables such as mood, stress and fatigue. So decisions in ordinary life can be noisy as well, although they can rarely be documented as such. So what to do about this problem? Kahneman, Sibony and Sunstein have some solutions. One is to adopt the social-science concept known as the “wisdom of crowds.” Researchers have shown that while individuals may not be great at guessing things, whether the number of gumballs in a glass bowl or the number of airports in the U.S., as a group we come close, when researchers combine individual guesses into an average or mean. Taking the average of four independent judgments can reduce noise by half, the authors write. Outside a social-science lab, the best way to leverage this finding in our daily life is to get other people’s opinions (independent ones, not people with the proverbial dog in the fight) and make a decision that best represents the mean. If you don’t have time or inclination to consult others, social science has another solution: create an “inner crowd” by coming up with your own best guess, and then basically challenging your own decision: Assume your first decision is wrong and consider why. Then make a different decision, based on these reasons. Often, the best decision will lie in the space between your first and second choices. Like Kahneman’s previous work, for which he won a Nobel Prize in 2002, the theories put forth in Noise will be considered groundbreaking and this book will likely win awards that have nothing to do with its readability. Outside the academy, it’s a hard row to hoe, but there’s value in skimming. C — Jennifer Graham


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If the Pied Piper had a counterpart on fiddle, they’d be a lot like Ellen Carlson. A member of multiple bands, beginning with Sweet, Hot & Sassy in the early 1990s, Carlson is always looking for new recruits to her instrument. She’s run the all-ages Fiddleheads JamCamp for over 20 years, and in 1989 she launched NH Fiddle Ensemble. The latter, focused on fundraising for nonprofits through music, has seen membership grow fivefold since its inception. Carlson’s crusade began around the time she left her middle school math teaching job a dozen years ago. “I’ve been really trying to expose people to playing music together as a community, and also to show fiddlers all the other kinds of things they can do,” she said in a recent phone interview. “I found a lot of guitar players and singers frustrated that fiddlers could never play with them because they didn’t know how to play with singers.” Her mission meant moving beyond the regional contra dance scene — “which is awesome, one of the best in the nation” — and into genres closer to the rock music Carlson played as a teenager. Among the bands Carlson occasionally performs in is Zac Brown tribute act Highway 20. “I love playing that kind of stuff on the fiddle,” she said. “It’s apt to say it’s probably one of my more comfort zones.” A forthcoming album, done with two likeminded “fiddle buddies,” is a foray into that feeling. Fiddlers Three, made with her Fiddlehead cohorts Kathy Sommer and Melissa Caron (also NH Fiddle Ensemble co-director), has a cover of Chuck Berry’s “You Never Can Tell” mixed in with traditional songs like “Goodbye Liza Jane” and “Red Wing” along with cuts from Loretta Lynn and Guy Clark. “I’m so psyched about this album, it came out so well,” Carlson said. “Kathy and Melissa have similar thoughts on … exposing fiddlers to other styles of music, and we were like, ‘Let’s take all the stuff we’ve been working on for years with other people, and do it ourselves’ — a triple fiddle album.” Covid-19 pushed the project to closure. “I’d wanted to do it for years but the pandemic totally made me,” Carlson said. “We worked up all these parts and talked about it via Zoom. … We couldn’t practice in person, but we had all the parts ready and we had practiced on our own. So when we got together it was piles of fun.” The new record should be available when Carlson kicks off the American Roots Mini Music Fest on Saturday, July 24, on the Hampton Falls Green with her Hotsy Totsy Fiddle Group. “That’s just going to be me and maybe

Ellen Carson. Photo by Amanda Kowalksi.

two other people,” Carlson said of the new moniker, given to her by TJ Wheeler, who organized and performs at the event, and likely drawn from the 1925 song by Gene Austin. “Because it’s a roots festival he wanted some traditional fiddling, and I’m part of the roots scene.” Wheeler’s blues rock band The Smokers will headline and feature a pair of esteemed guest singers, Sharon Jones and Yamica Peterson. Jones is a Portsmouth treasure who moves from jazz to soul and R&B with ease. Peterson is talented and ubiquitous, playing with groups including Family Affair (with her dad Pete Peterson) and Mica’s Groove Train. Following Carlson’s set are Reverend Lilian Buckley Trio playing gospel and Civil Rights-era protest songs, the jazz and bebop Charlie Jennison Ensemble, and Theo Markey’s AKWAABA West African Drum Ensemble. Though Carlson is doing her set between the weekend-long Ossipee Valley Music Festival in Hiram, Maine, she won’t miss an opportunity to jam. “I’ll probably sit in with TJ’s band later on in the day,” she said. “I’ll be hanging out up north during the weekend, come down for TJ’s thing, and then head back up there. I’m just playing lots of music, and it is so, so good. It’s the best thing I’ve done in my life, honestly.” — Michael Witthaus AMERICAN ROOTS MINI MUSIC FEST When: Saturday, July 24, 12 p.m. Where: Hampton Falls Bandstand, 1 Lincoln Ave, Hampton Falls More: seaacoastjazz.org Performers: Ellen Carlson Hotsy Totsy Fiddle Group, Reverend Lillian Buckley Trio, Charlie Jennison Ensemble, Theo Markey’s AKWAABA, Sharon Jones with TJ Wheeler & the Smokers with special guest Yamica Peterson.


L Street Tavern 603 17 L St., 967-4777

Hampton Bernie’s Beach Bar 73 Ocean Blvd. 926-5050 Bogie’s 32 Depot Square 601-2319 Community Oven 845 Lafayette Road 601-6311

CR’s The Restaurant 287 Exeter Road 929-7972 The Goat 20 L St. 601-6928 Hampton Beach Sea Shell Stage Events on southern stage

Thursday, July 22 Hampton Bernie’s: Zach Lovering, 7 p.m., Mihali, 8 p.m. Bogie’s: Troy and Luneau CR’s: Don Severance, 6 p.m. The Goat: Haley Chic, 9 p.m. Sea Ketch: Paul Lussier, 1 p.m., Clint Lapointe, 8 p.m. Sea Shell Stage: Darren Bessette, 7 & 8:30 p.m. Smuttynose: Rob & Jody, 6:30 p.m. Wally’s: Maddie Ryan, 9 p.m. WHYM: Music Bingo, 6 p.m. Portsmouth The Gas Light: Max Sullivan, 7:30 p.m. The Goat: Isaiah Bennett, 9 p.m.

Logan’s Run 816 Lafayette Road 926-4343 Sea Ketch 127 Ocean Blvd. 926-0324 Shane’s BBQ 61 High St., 601-7091 Smuttynose Brewing 105 Towle Farm Road

Friday, July 23 Hampton Bernie’s: Zach Lovering, 7 p.m. Cascade: Max Sullivan, noon CR’s: Ross McGinnes, 6 p.m. The Goat: Rob Pagnano, 8:30 p.m. Sea Ketch: Jodee Frawlee, 1 p.m. Sea Shell Stage: Salem Boyz, 7 & 8:30 p.m. Smuttynose: Dapper Gents, 6:30 p.m. Wally’s: Pete Massa, 7 p.m. Portsmouth Gas Light: Lewis Goodwin, 7:30 p.m. Gibb’s: trivia, 8 p.m. The Goat: Chris Toler, 9 p.m. Thirsty Moose: Broken Heels, 9 p.m.

Wally’s Pub 144 Ashworth Ave. 926-6954

The Gas Light 64 Market St. 430-9122

The Statey Bar & Grill 238 Deer St. 431-4357

WHYM 853 Lafayette Road 601-2801

Gibb’s Garage Bar 3612 Lafayette Road

Summer in the Streets Pleasant Street to Porter Street to Market Square

North Hampton Locals Restaurant & Pub 215 Lafayette Road 379-2729 Portsmouth Clipper Tavern 75 Pleasant St., 501-0109

Seabrook Chop Shop: Bulletproof Band, 6:30 p.m. (doors open) Saturday, July 24 Hampton Bernie’s: Chris Toler, 1 p.m.; Zach Lovering, 7 p.m. Community Oven: Max Sullivan, 5 p.m. L Street: Max Sullivan, noon Sea Ketch: Austin McCarthy, 1 p.m., Joanie Cicatelli, 8 p.m. Sea Shell Stage: Classic Groove, 7 & 8:30 p.m. Smuttynose: Pete Peterson, 1 p.m., Jim Delvin Band, 6:30 p.m. Wally’s: Alex Anthony Band, 9 p.m. WHYM: Corinna Savlen, 5:30 p.m.

The Goat 142 Congress St., 590-4628 Grill 28 Pease Golf Course 766-6466 Herbert’s Restaurant 1500 Lafayette Road 431-5882

Portsmouth Gas Light: David Gerard, 2 p.m.; Henry LaLiberte, 7:30 p.m. The Goat: Jonny Friday Duo, 9 p.m. Summer in the Streets: Seacoast Wind Ensemble, 5:30 p.m. Thirsty Moose: Groovin’ You, 9 p.m. Seabrook Chop Shop: Leaving Eden, 6:30 p.m. (doors open) Sunday, July 25 Hampton Bernie’s: Zach Lovering, 1 p.m., Chris Toler, 7 p.m., Third World & The Skatalites, 7 p.m. Bogie’s: Kitchen Party, 5 p.m. (covers of acoustic pop, rock, folk and country)

Thirsty Moose Taphouse 21 Congress St. 427-8645 Tuscan Kitchen 10 Ledgewood Drive 570-3600

CR’s: Gerry Beaudoin, 4 p.m. The Goat: Isaiah Bennett, 9 p.m. Logan’s Run: Max Sullivan Group, 2 p.m. Sea Ketch: Matt Luneau, 1 p.m. Sea Shell Stage: Reminisants, 7 & 8:30 p.m. Smuttynose: BassTastic Duo, 5:30 p.m. Wally’s: Frankie Ballard w/ CJ Solar, 8 p.m. WHYM: Maddi Ryan, 1 p.m. Portsmouth Gas Light: Lewis Goodwin, 12:30 p.m.; Max Sullivan, 6 p.m. The Goat: Rob Pagnano, 9 p.m. Monday, July 26 Hampton Bernie’s: Chris Toler, 7 p.m. The Goat: Maddie Ryan, 9 p.m.

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SEACOAST SCENE | JULY 22 - 28, 2021 | PAGE 19


& , e v o L , Peace

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BEACH BUM FUN HOROSCOPES All quotes are from Where I Come From: Stories from the Deep South, by Rick Bragg, born July 26, 1959. Cancer (June 21 – July 22) I should have given up, I suppose, after the goat. But you didn’t, and now you and the goat are having a moment. Leo (July 23 – Aug. 22) ...I have heard other fishermen also lay claim to the title of worst fisherman in the world, since there is little point in being the second- or thirdworst fisherman in the world. If you are going to be miserable at something, you might as well get a plaque for it. Celebrate a friend’s achievements. Virgo (Aug. 23 – Sept. 22) I saw about ten thousand people at the grocery store searching for yogurt, passing up a perfectly good pack of pork rinds. I saw sleds for sale in the window of a hardware store, in Birmingham. Be thoughtful about your shopping list. Libra (Sept. 23 – Oct. 22) … I guess I’d rather be a bad fisherman, or a fake one, than no fisherman at all. Get out there and fish. Scorpio (Oct. 23 – Nov. 21) I blame modern country music for all my miseries. I do not blame George Jones, who really did go to the liquor store on a riding lawn mower when they took away his car keys. Ignore the blame game. Sagittarius (Nov. 22 – Dec. 21) In good food, you taste food, taste seasoning, not an overpowering heat. Everything else is a sideshow. Focus on the main event.

Capricorn (Dec. 22 – Jan. 19) Of all the changes in my South, perhaps the hardest to fit inside my head is the metamorphosis of the pickup truck. I grew up in trucks; I feel good in them. They are the chariots of my people. … It used to be, when you saw a truck, it meant work, and not just any kind of work. Keep it real. Aquarius (Jan. 20 – Feb. 18) People joke about how far a mother’s voice will carry, across the pines and the cotton fields. I know that’s a scientific fact. I’d rate her range at about three miles. Your voice will carry just fine. Pisces (Feb. 19 – March 20) New country [music] … is a formula of cliches, stitched together by pretty people who … sing in exaggerated accents about tractors, but you know they never had to go looking for their class ring in the roadside weeds after their girlfriend flung it there. Sing what you know. Aries (March 21 – April 19) She found some joy, next to the guacamole. It’s right there. Taurus (April 20 – May 20) Worst of all, though, is the abomination of the hotel biscuit. There is not enough congealing gravy in this world to cover the nastiness of a crunchy biscuit. Don’t add gravy, that just makes it worse. Gemini (May 21 – June 20) You should never open the trunk of your car with witnesses standing nearby. There could be just about anything in there. ‘What’s that?’ [my brother] asked, pointing an accusing finger. ‘They’re golf clubs,’ I said in shame. A little tidying up might make you feel better.

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SEACOAST SCENE | JULY 22 - 28, 2021 | PAGE 20


BEACH BUM FUN JONESIN’ CROSSWORDS BY MATT JONES

“Go Get ‘Em” — actually, this is my first rodeo Across 1 11th graders’ exam (abbr.) 5 “Now, ___ from our sponsor” 10 Hill’s high point 14 “It’s ___ Quiet” (Bjork remake) 15 Doritos flavor 16 Any of the three “Survi-

vor” motto words 17 Place to make a vinyl purchase 19 He’ll give you a ride, on “The Simpsons” 20 Muse for Keats 21 Norse pantheon chief 23 Oedipus ___ 24 “Scarface” director Brian

27 Mushroom with white buds 29 Second side in a game, perhaps 31 Cherry ___ (Ben & Jerry’s offering) 34 “Can’t Fight This Feeling” band ___ Speedwagon 37 A little above the pitch 39 Drum kit cymbal stand 40 Stumbles 42 “... the bombs bursting ___” 44 ___ speak (as it were) 45 Start a meal 47 Shoelace tip 49 “Shiny Happy People” group

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34 “SNL” cast member Chris org. 35 Lake on four states and a 4 Greet with a honk province 5 “What next?” 6 Existed 36 Component of some 7 Eight, in El Salvador church instruments 8 Half a state name 38 First show 9 Olympic athlete’s violation 41 Grain storage tower 10 Guac ingredient, casually 43 Govt. auction auto, 11 Scent after the first rain in perhaps a while 46 “Finding Dory” fish 12 Mononymic Art Deco 48 It may be called designer 51 Edit considerably 13 Microsoft system launched 53 One who talks the talk in 2001 55 Tibet’s neighbor 18 Acting jobs 57 Opening notes 22 “The Daily Show” host 58 Win all the games Trevor 59 Brief 25 Half a Hawaiian fish? 60 Most of a penny’s makeup 26 Kitchen appliance 61 From a long way manufacturer 63 Singer Lovato 28 Khloe’s mom 66 Lincoln’s son 30 “Thatcherites” singer 68 Chow down, slangily Billy 69 Amphibious WWII vessel 32 “... can’t believe ___ the whole thing!” © 2021 Matt Jones 33 Tiniest speck

50 Casino worker 52 Camera that gets strapped on 54 Name, in Latin 56 Vacationing traveler 60 Ray gun sound 62 Came up short 64 “___ just not, please?” 65 “___ please the court ...” 67 Protester’s forum 70 Wine valley 71 Spanish footballer Sergio 72 Miners’ quarries 73 Acceptability, for short 74 Painter Gustav who often used gold leaf 75 Rodeo item that I can’t seem to properly get around the theme answers Down 1 Read carefully (over) 2 “The Jungle Book” tiger ___ Khan 3 Music licensing

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SEACOAST SCENE | JULY 22 - 28, 2021 | PAGE 21


NEWS OF THE WEIRD BY ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION

Medical mystery

The Washington Post reported on July 14 that Brazil’s president, Jair Bolsonaro, is expected to be under observation at the Armed Forces Hospital in Brasilia for a few days while doctors try to determine the cause behind his chronic hiccups. Bolsonaro has been hiccupping for more than 10 days, even at public events. The leader is no stranger to weird health scares: While he suffered from COVID-19 last year, he was bitten by a large emu-like bird. For his part, he thinks the hiccups may be related to medicines he was taking after dental implant surgery.

Awesome!

David Olson, 33, was demolishing the back steps outside his home in Norton Shores, Michigan, on July 1 when he rolled a strike, so to speak: Olson found at least 160 bowling balls buried in the sand under the home. Upon seeing the first ball, he thought, “Maybe there were just a couple in there just to fill in. The deeper I got into it, the more I realized it was just basically an entire gridwork of them,” he told the Detroit Free Press. Olson said many of the balls are in bad condition, and they all had spiral grooves cut into them. Former employees of a Brunswick plant nearby got in touch with him, explaining that workers used to take scrapped balls to use as an alternative to

gravel or sand. Olson donated eight balls for Happy accident a local church to use in a bowling ball canBarrington, New Jersey, resident Louis non at a pig roast; his stepfather plans to use Angelino III, 27, works at a liquor store, but some as legs for custom furniture. lately he’s been cleaning friends’ houses to make some extra cash. One day in June, Angelino was scheduled to clean the home of his Least competent criminals • A 48-year-old unnamed woman from friend Mark, NJ.com reported. He showed up, Brock Township, Ontario, Canada, man- found the key under the mat, and spent 2 1/2 aged to get herself arrested on July 9 for the hours making the townhome sparkle. That’s theft of a surveillance camera in May, CP24- when Mark called him to see if he’d been able TV reported. “A suspect proceeded to take to get the job done, and Angelino said, “I’m pictures of themselves with the stolen cam- literally in your living room right now playera, which were remotely sent to the owner, ing with your cats.” But Mark replied: “Louis, unbeknownst to the suspect,” the report I don’t have any cats.” Turns out Angelino had from the Durham Regional Police reads. written down the wrong address and tidied up She was charged with possession of proper- a neighbor’s home instead. Mark left a note for Tom and Beth Motzel, explaining the ty obtained by crime. • Stephan Elash, 24, of Campbell, Ohio, mix-up. Tom arrived home before his wife was pulled over by a state trooper on July and called her, saying, “You won’t believe it. 3 for speeding, WKBN-TV reported. In Someone broke into our house and cleaned a panic, Elash put a baggie of marijuana the entire thing, Swiffer and all.” Beth has in his mouth and tried to swallow it — but dubbed Angelino the Cleaning Fairy, and his he choked. Trooper Charles Hoskins used business is taking off. the Heimlich maneuver to force the bag out of Elash’s throat, likely saving his life. News that sounds like a joke Afterward, Elash apologized, and Hoskins You are now free to get a haircut and shave responded, “I know. It’s all right. It’s a minor in New York on a Sunday. Gov. Andrew Cuomisdemeanor. Do you want to die over a mo signed legislation on July 13 to repeal an minor misdemeanor?” Elash was charged “archaic” law banning barbers from workwith speeding and not wearing a seat belt, ing on Sundays. “Though rarely enforced, the and he got a misdemeanor summons for law was shear madness,” Cuomo quipped, possession. according to United Press International.

Fan(atics)

Fans of the National Hockey League Champion Tampa Bay Lightning have a customized way to celebrate as of July 12: Coors Light Champions Ice, Business Wire reported. During the final, Coors scraped and collected actual ice from the arena and transported it to Golden, Colorado, where Coors products are made. The ice is filtered during the brewing process and then blended into the beer, “giving Bolts fans a literal taste of the action,” said Marcelo Pascoa, vice president of marketing. Local fans will be able to enjoy the limited-edition brew at Tampa Bay bars.

Crime report

U.S. Customs agents seized 3,000 pairs of false eyelashes at the Louis Armstrong New Orleans International Airport on July 6, The Times-Picayune reported. The eyelashes were intended for a beauty supply store in New Orleans, but they were unlabeled and hadn’t been approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration, Customs spokesperson Matthew Dyman said. Unregulated falsies can lead to allergic reactions, eye irritation and other maladies. “There’s no telling what’s on those eyelashes,” Dyman said. Visit newsoftheweird.com.

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