Seacoast Scene 07-30-20 by Seacoast Scene

CRAFTSMENâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S TRY SOUR BEERS FAIR GOES VIRTUAL P. 9 P. 16 JULY 30 - AUGUST 5, 2020

beach

sweets

Find tasty treats on the Seacoast

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Thanks to our local police Police officers put their lives on the line every day to protect communities and keep the peace, yet it can be a bit of a thankless job. So for this week, I just wanted to say thank Larry Marsolais you to all our local police for all you do and how you risk your lives every day so that others can feel safe. I would also encourage all of our readers this week to find your own way to show your gratitude to the people of law enforcement. It’s amazing how impactful a simple “thank you” can be. Most of us know the power of these two words because at some point in our

lives someone said “thank you” and it was just what we needed to keep going. Police officers are no different. They spend their career striving to make our home towns a safe environment. We shouldn’t take that for granted but we should express our thanks regularly. Smile at them. Be courteous. Thank them for their service. Show the police officers kindness in whatever way you can. A great community is a safe one! As always feel free to call me anytime at 603-935-5096 to discuss local issues or to place an ad. Larry Marsolais is the general manager of the Seacoast Scene and president of the Hampton Rotary Club.

12 Ocean Blvd. Seabrook Beach, NH Call for take out: 603-760-2182 Order to go

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Larry Marsolais Seacoast Scene General Manager 603-935-5096 larry@seacoastscene.net

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SEACOAST SCENE | JULY 30 - AUGUST 5, 2020 | PAGE 2

Contributors Rob Levey, Michael Witthaus, Matt Ingersoll, Danielle Roberts, Michelle Pesula Kuegler

Have an event or a story idea for the Seacoast Scene? Let us know at: editor@seacoastscene.net Unsolicited submissions are not accepted and will not be returned or acknowledged. Unsolicited submissions will be destroyed.

COVER STORY 4 Beach sweets

PEOPLE & PLACES 8 The coolest Seacoast dwellers and scenes

FOOD 11 Eateries and foodie events

POP CULTURE 17 Books, art, theater and classical

NITE LIFE 19 Music, comedy and more

BEACH BUM FUN 22 Puzzles, horoscopes and crazy news Your weekly guide to the coast. Published every Thursday (1st copy free; 2nd $1). Seacoast Scene PO Box 961 Hampton NH 03843 603-935-5096 | www.seacoastscene.net

Beer, Wine, Lottery Tickets & Tobacco 4 Convenient Locations- Rochester • Seabrook • Plaistow & Sanford, ME

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beach

sweets By Shane Jozitis

Barrels and bins packed to the brim with salt water taffy are a staple of Seacoast candy shops, many of which have deep roots in tradition and family values. Find out where to satisfy your sweet tooth when you visit the beach, plus which treats are the most popular and which are the best for a hot summer day on the sand.

Huckleberry’s Candies

Huckleberry’s Candies in Hampton is one Seacoast shop with an assortment of salt water taffy, and owner Caren MacAskill knows all about the colorful sweet’s history. “In 1883, a New Jersey candy store was flooded in a major storm and the entire stock of taffy was soaked with salt water,” MacAskill said. “Not long after, a young girl came into the store and asked for some taffy. As a joke, the owner, David Bradley, told her all he had was ‘salt water taffy’ and the name stuck.” MacAskill stressed that despite the legend, there’s no seawater in the taffy we see today. “There is both water and salt in salt water taffy, but no actual salt water,”

MacAskill said. Huckleberry’s Candies offers 20 different flavors of taffy. The most popular, MacAskill said, are strawberry lemonade, watermelon, and peanut butter. In MacAskill’s eyes, you can’t beat the classics. “We really enjoy plain old vanilla,” MacAskill said. “It really hits the spot.” Huckleberry’s sells taffy year-round and features a pick-your-own option during the summer for those who want to customize their goodie-bag. Patrons can mix their taffy selections with a wide variety of other candies as well. “We have a wide variety of fun summer-themed candy and chocolates including gummy lobsters, gummy

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sharks, chocolate sand dollars and chocolate lobsters,” MacAskill said. “With so many people taking vacations during the summer, getting a sweet treat just makes it all the more special.” Those in the market for homemade sweets can hand-pick chocolate candies at the store. “We make a good portion of our chocolate items on site: clusters, barks, peanut butter cups, nonpareils and most of the molded items, like the chocolate bunnies at Easter and the Santas at Christmas,” MacAskill said. Even during the hot summer days, patrons won’t have to worry about their chocolate melting. “We have multiple melters that keep the chocolate at the perfect temperature. This is important to make sure the chocolate has the best snap and shine.”

Sweet Hannah’s

Sweet Hannah’s opened in 2011 with the goal of enriching the Hampton Beach boardwalk with a nostalgic selection of sweets. “We’re really an old-fashioned candy store,” said Marc Lane, co-owner of Sweet Hannah’s. “We don’t necessarily

carry stuff like Hershey’s bars; we tend to go for the old-school stuff, the stuff you can’t find normally.” Sweet Hannah’s models its operation on the ideals of family vacations. They carry the sweets that people may not find in their day-to-day lives. “Nostalgic candies like taffy and fudge are something people don’t get to indulge in every day, but it’s something they’ll go for when they’re on vacation,” Lane said. Among these novelty candies is a large selection of salt water taffy with unique flavors like apple pie and root beer float. “Watermelon taffy is probably our best seller,” Lane said. “Our other top sellers are probably cotton candy, strawberry, peanut butter and banana.” Sweet Hannah’s also offers a pickyour-own option, and patrons can mix and match their taffy with over 150 different types of candy. The store also hand makes its own fudge if you’ve had your fill of taffy. “Traditionally we have about 32 flavors of homemade fudge,” Lane said. “Due to Covid we’ve had to strip that down a bit.”

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The shop also offers freshly fried doughnuts, and it brews hot and iced coffee daily for those who need a less sweet pick-me-up during a day in the sun.

Amorello says a lot of people stop by the store and buy candy for people going through tough times. “Just the fact that this is a part of making someone feel better is what I enjoy the most,” Amorello said. “It means something to people.” Along with tradition and a good remedy for the blues, Amorello believes candy is the perfect capstone to a day at the beach. “You go to the beach and you get some candy for the ride home, or as an after-dinner treat,” Amorello said. “I think it’s really just a family thing. I hope that never goes away.”

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over 50 years,” Amorello said. “A lot of people come to our store just for that. … We even get people asking for it in the winter.” Though candy and ice cream are the hot-ticket items at Swell Willey’s, Amorello says the store is more than the sum of its parts. “Yes, we sell candy and ice cream, but it has a lot more meaning than that,” Amorello said. “Last year we had a limo pull up. It was the man’s 95th birthday and he insisted on coming to the store to buy candy because he always went here as a kid, and he bought his own kids candy here.”

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Established in 1999 on Ocean Boulevard in Hampton Beach, The Candy Corner understands the sentimental nature of a candy shop. “It’s a nostalgic thing,” said Kristen Statires, a member of the family-owned business. “When I was growing up as a kid there were always stores that sold taffy, fudge and caramel corn.” Statires said candy shops have always been an essential part of any beach, whether it’s “down in the Jersey Shore, Cape Cod, or New Hampshire of course.” Statires said family vacations at the beach and candy shops go hand in hand.

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Established in 1913 and keeping tradition alive, Swell Willey’s in Salisbury offers an assortment of homemade ice cream, fudge, popcorn and peanut butter cups. “Our peanut butter cups are a signature item,” said Ally Amorello, general manager at Swell Willey’s. “There’s so many people from all over that drive here for them.” Available in milk, dark and white chocolate, they are far from a Reese’s cup, Amorello says. Swell Willey’s receives orders from distant states like Florida and from patrons who live hours away, a testament to the quality that homemade candy possesses. “I think quality is really important in a small business,” Amorello said. “People will take that extra drive because they know it’s good.” Swell Willey’s also makes homemade ice cream for those who want to cool down on a hot summer day. Amorello says their most popular flavor by far is their orange creamsicle soft serve. “It’s been a staple item at Willey’s for

“Families are always vacationing at the beach and kids love candy so it’s a great place for that.” The Candy Corner offers fudge, caramel corn, nuts and candied apples, all of which are made on site. “We make six to seven pounds of fudge at a time, and we carry a lot of different flavors,” Statires said. Notable flavors include cookies and cream, peanut butter, penuche and chocolate, a classic flavor that Statires said is the most popular. Free samples of the fudge and other candies are allowed if the variety of flavors seems daunting.

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A botanical garden lined with meticulously kept hedges and looming trees lies right off the coast in North Hampton. Fuller Gardens, an early 20th-century relic with a rich history, will be open throughout the summer for visitors to get some fresh air while maintaining social distance. “It’s one of those little-known secrets of the Seacoast,” said Jamie Colen, the director of Fuller Gardens. Originally designed as a cutting garden by Arthur Shurtleff in 1927, Fuller Gardens was a decorative piece for Alvan Fuller’s summer estate. Fuller had purchased several parcels of land including the garden in the Little Boars Head district of North Hampton, including the gardens we see today. “Fuller wanted his garden to be viewed as a real botanical garden, not just a piece of land that would produce flowers for vases,” Colen said. Fuller took what was left of the Shurtleff design and added another acre and a half to the property. He asked the Olmsted Firm of Boston to redesign and expand the grounds and to add rose gardens as a tribute to his wife, Viola. “That’s pretty much what you see today with very few modifications,” Colen said. Following Fuller’s death in 1958, the Fuller Foundation of New Hampshire was created to “keep the gardens running forever,” Colen said, referencing Fuller’s wishes. “The Fuller Foundation funds the Fuller Gardens, but we bring in about half of our operating costs, and the other half is made up through the Fuller Foundation.” Colen lives at the garden year-round and has been the director for 22 years. “It’s really awesome, but it’s a lot of responsibility,” Colen said. “There’s never really a dull moment; there’s never a day off.” The garden features 1,700 rose bushes, which bloom from June to October, a dahlia display, a conservatory of tropical and desert plants, and a Japanese garden, an area Colen says people are always surprised to see. “A Japanese garden basically has the elements of the Earth in it,” Colen said. “We have a shishi odoshi, which means ‘deer chaser,’ and that’s a bamboo-water element that has movement and sound. It’s a very traditional Japanese garden element.” The Japanese garden also has a koi pond with eight large koi, some of which are upwards of 45 years old. Visitors will also find cactus plants that have been collected from around the world. “I’d say there are 200 to 300 different species of cacti succulents in our greenhouse,” Colen said. Spanning nearly three acres, this garden is

far from low-maintenance. “I think people are most surprised by the care that a public garden like this gets,” Colen said. “The grass is perfect, like the quality you find at a golf course, and the hedges are all meticulously pruned. The care is pretty unbelievable.” Colen says the high-maintenance nature of Fuller Gardens inspires people to take action in their own backyards. “I think people see that and change their own backyard,” Colen said. “They get more involved being outside and enjoying their own gardens.” The garden is more than its aesthetically pleasing exterior, though. Its main purpose is to serve as an escape from everyday life. “I think parks and botanical gardens are a place where you can take a deep breath and forget about everything for a little while,” Colen said. Though keeping up with the maintenance is a big part of the job, Colen spends a lot of his time sharing his gardening knowledge. “Part of our goal here is to educate as well,” Colen said. “We spend a lot of time talking about planting and common garden myths.” Visitors can find more information on gardening through the books that the gift shop offers. Mementos and keepsakes are also available. “The fact that this place still exists is a great testament to the generosity of the foundation and the people who come support it,” Colen said. — Shane Jozitis Fuller Gardens Where: 10 Willow Ave. in North Hampton Hours: 10 a.m to 5:30 p.m every day Tickets: $9 for adults, $8 for seniors, $6 for students, $7.50 per person for groups of 10 people or more, $4 for children 12 and under More info: fullergardens.org

PEOPLE AND PLACES

Art online

This summer’s Craftsmen’s Fair shifts to a virtual format For more than 300 artisans in and around the Granite State, the League of New Hampshire Craftsmen’s annual Craftsmen’s Fair — traditionally held for nine days in August at Mount Sunapee Resort in Newbury — is the highlight of their year and their biggest opportunity to display, demonstrate and sell their crafts. Drawing more than 20,000 paying attendees, the fair also provides 80 percent of the League’s yearly operating income, executive director Miriam Carter said, so when Covid-19 made it impossible to host the fair in person, organizers had to think outside the box. From Saturday, Aug. 1, through Sunday, Aug. 9, the public will be able to “attend” the 87th annual Craftsmen’s Fair virtually through the League’s website, where there will be links to more than 140 League members’ online shops, plus a virtual exhibition tour and exclusive video content including demonstrations by the artisans, musical performances and guided craft projects for all ages. “We’ve tried to create an environment of engagement and excitement — not just another website — that mirrors the live event, where you can shop, learn about crafts and talk to the artists,” Carter said. “The only thing that’s different this year is that, instead of being on the mountain, we’ll be on your monitor.” A variety of contemporary and traditional crafts will be represented at the fair, such as baskets, blacksmithing, hand-blown glass, functional and decorative ceramics, framed original prints, metal sculptures, vibrant folk art, modern and traditional furniture, elaborate quilts, wearable art and jewelry. Potter and longtime League member Andy Hampton of Chichester specializes in pottery with a Japanese aesthetic, using Japanese production and firing techniques. He will have 150 unique pieces for sale at his online shop during the fair, including dinnerware, bonsai pots, sculptural vases and wall hangings. He has also recorded a video for the fair, demonstrating how he creates a teapot. “I will actually have a much larger presentation of my work [at the virtual fair] than I could have had at the live craft fair,” Hampton said. “It gives us [artisans] the opportunity to expand and show more of a variety of items than we could physically.” Another longtime League member, Lauren Pollaro of York, Maine, will present more than 150 pieces of her mixed media art and jewelry, including earrings, brooches and pins, pendants, necklaces and wall hangings. She also made a video for the fair, giving viewers a tour of her studio and showing some of her works in progress and finished works. “After a spring and summer of disappointments, art shows being canceled and fear about how I’m going to stay afloat, it’s

Art by Andy Hampton, featured artist at this year’s Craftsmen’s Fair. Courtesy photo.

great to have this event,” Pollaro said. “I know it won’t be the same [as the live fair], but I’ve been preparing the same way that I do for the live event, and the same energy is there.” The virtual fair model has pushed League members, many of whom have had a limited or nonexistent online presence, to expand their use of technology for marketing their products and interacting with their customers. To facilitate, the League provided classes for members on how to create a website and engage on social media. “We’ve been encouraging members to be more active online for years, so this [virtual fair] has been a huge opportunity for them to finally take the time to do that,” Carter said. “It’s definitely been a challenge for them, but I think they are grateful that we could still move forward with the fair this year using this virtual model.” Hampton said he contracted a website builder to build him a new site and has been promoting his work on social media, and Pollaro said she updated her website with a new online store. “I already had a website, but it was just informational and explained my work, like a portfolio. Purchasing pieces wasn’t an option on the site,” she said. “I was always reluctant to [sell online] … but now that I am, I have a feeling this is going to be a new mode of business for me.” While the League hopes to bring the live Craftsmen’s Fair back to Mount Sunapee next summer, Carter said, all future fairs will have a virtual component. “The beauty of the internet is that we can build on the 20,000-plus people coming to the live event,” she said. “We can expand our reach in the arts community to be nationwide and even worldwide.” — Angie Sykeny

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87th annual Craftsmen’s Fair Where: Online at nhcrafts.org When: Saturday, Aug. 1, through Sunday, Aug. 9 Cost: Free to access; donations appreciated

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CAR TALK

Cars don’t have a favorite gas Dear Car Talk: Back in the ‘70s, we were often told it was best for a car’s engine to always use the same brand of gas. Some sources even said to always use the same gas By Ray Magliozzi station or even the same pump. Have engines evolved now to the point where this doesn’t matter anymore? It would be nice to no longer have to maintain a mental list of acceptable gas stations in my area, or to stress over finding one before my tank runs dry on a road trip. Is this still true? Was it ever true? — John Not and never, John. It is not still true. And it was never true. Your car’s engine was designed to run on any brand of EPA approved gasoline, and the idea that it “got used to” a certain brand or a certain station or pump is an old father’s tale. Here’s the more or less part: Modern fuel injected cars run best (over a long period of time) on what are called Top Tier gasolines. Those are gasolines that have a higher level of detergent additives than the EPA requires. The whole Top Tier thing was started by a group of manufacturers that felt that gasolines weren’t doing enough to keep their advanced

#1 The

engines clean. So they pestered a bunch of major oil companies into raising their standards. And that’s how Top Tier Gas got started. Top Tier gas has extra additives, especially detergents, that reduce deposits in the fuel system and help keep expensive parts like fuel injectors clean. And today, the vast majority of major brand gasolines sell only Top Tier gas. Those include well-known brands like 76, Arco, Amoco, BP, Citgo, Chevron, Exxon, Mobil, Philips 66, Shell, Sunoco, Texaco and Valero, plus some you may not see advertising. To see a full list of all the brands that sell only Top Tier gas, go to toptiergas.com/licensedbrands. And that’s all you need to consider when buying gas. It doesn’t matter which of the Top Tier gasolines you buy or if you mix them. It doesn’t matter what grade you use (use the grade recommended in your owner’s manual). It doesn’t matter which pump or which particular station you buy from. We recommend you buy from the station with the lowest prices and the cleanest restroom, and use the pump that no car is currently parked in front of. And as long as it’s one of the Top Tier gasolines, your car will be happy. Dear Car Talk: I’ve always loved the columns by you and

your brother! You recently answered a reader who wanted to know why his Prius’ mileage dropped after he got new tires. You suggested his new tires may have been “higher rolling resistance” than his original tires. I agree that’s possible. But I would also add a “measuring error.” I do not believe the Prius is able to adjust the calculated MPG for tire wear (or tire size, for that matter). If my calculations are correct, 3/16 inch of tire wear decreases the circumference of the tire, and results in 2% “higher” MPG. When you buy new tires, you “lose” that advantage. For most cars, you would hardly notice this because of their lower MPG, larger tires, laess precise displays, etc. But we Prius owners are obsessed with our fuel numbers, so your reader noticed it. — John I think you have it backward. You’ve always hated the columns by me and my brother. Actually, I think it’s the “mileage error” that works the other way. When your tire’s circumference gets smaller due to wear (or due to compression from excess weight in the car, or other reasons), you travel less distance with each rotation of the axle. That lowers the “miles” part of your miles per gallon. Think of an extreme case. Let’s say you had huge tires on your car — tires that had a circumference of 1 mile. OK, it’d take you a year to fill them up with air at the gas station, but just imagine it for a minute. For every rotation of the car’s axle, you’d go 1 mile. Wow. All else being equal, you’d get incredible mileage with those tires, right?

On the other extreme, if you had little, 1-inch roller-skate wheels on your car, the axle would turn and turn and turn, and you’d go very little distance, and get poor mileage. So, in theory, a larger tire should increase your mileage, not reduce it. However, if you’re relying on the car’s internal computer to measure your mileage (rather than, say, mile markers and actual fuel measurements), you might be right, John. The car’s computer may show decreased MPG on newer, larger tires. Here’s why. The computer is programmed to calculate distance based on how many times the axle rotates with the factory wheels and tires. So let’s say Toyota calculated that it takes 1,000 turns of the axle for that Prius to go 1 mile. When your tires wear down, it takes less fuel to turn the axle 1,000 times. Why? Because you’re not actually going as far. So the car’s dumb computer thinks you’ve gone a mile (even though you haven’t), and it says: “Hey, we’ve used less gasoline to go a mile! Yippee!” Then, when you replace the tires and make the car’s factory calculation correct again, you may actually see your car computer’s mileage decrease a bit. I would argue that, in real life, once you get into overdrive, you’d get better mileage with newer, larger tires. But we may need Nobel laureates in physics to resolve this for us with any degree of certainty. It’s very confusing. So, John, whatever you do, please don’t write to us again with any more questions. Visit Cartalk.com.

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FOOD

AT MAD PORK Authentic artisanal Mexican cuisine is the theme of Mad Pork (122 Lafayette Road, North Hampton, 855-623-7675, eatmadpork.com), a new takeout restaurant that opened late last year offering everything fresh, from handrolled tortillas to homemade salsas and guacamole, many of which come from family recipes. Hugo Castellanos of Exeter got his start in the business selling his own jarred salsas at the Derry Homegrown Farm & Artisan Market last year before his wife Erin encouraged him to open a brick-and-mortar eatery. Mad Pork offers tacos, burritos and quesadillas, all with several protein options like chicken, pork and steak, as well as various salads and a few breakfast options like burritos with eggs and tostadas con queso (grilled corn tortillas packed with melted cheese and the option to add a meat). Castellanos, who’s originally from Guatemala, said he wanted the eatery’s name to stand out from others he perceives as cliché. Mad Pork’s logo features a cartoon drawing of a pig with its arms crossed because, according to Castellanos, “he’s mad that he’s being eaten.” The Scene recently caught up with Castellanos to talk about some of his personal favorite items and recommendations at Mad Pork. How long has Mad Pork been around? Dec. 31 [of 2019] was when we opened. We closed for 73 days, I believe. I don’t remember the exact date but it was in the middle of March. We reopened June 2. We came back with some new menu items, so now we have salads, breakfast burritos and coffees too.

on everything being cooked to order. We don’t have food just sitting around. Our corn tortillas are made in the store every day.

Courtesy photos

rice and beans. … The tacos are where the design varies. You get two tacos per order. It’s different depending on the protein you choose. So for the shrimp, we do a house secret sauce that’s like a What is your personal favorite menu lime crema. It has a little kick, but it’s item? not super spicy. I think it would be either the cochinita [slow-cooked pork] burrito or What’s a dish everyone should try? the shrimp tacos. All of our burritos are I would go back to the cochinita prepared the same way, except for the burrito. It just has such big flavors and What makes Mad Pork unique? protein. We do a 12-inch flour tortilla, the portions are satisfying. If I had to say one thing, it would be with a protein you choose, and then the flavors. We put a lot of emphasis Mexican cheese, salsa, cilantro, onions,

What is an essential skill to running a restaurant? One thing for me that’s very important is … hiring good people. We’ve been very lucky with the people we have. Since these are my family’s old recipes, I want the flavors to be conserved. What is your favorite thing about being on the Seacoast? Two things — I love how close the ocean is, and the seafood, of course. — Matt Ingersoll

SEACOAST SCENE | JULY 30 - AUGUST 5, 2020 | PAGE 11

FOOD

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Avocado toast —‌does it really need a recipe? My answer is yes. The primary focus of this recipe isn’t how to toast bread or how to mash avocados. The focus is how to add toppings that take this from a basic menu item to something much more exciting. The appeal of avocado toast, in my opinion, is the contrast of texture. Crunchy toasted bread topped with creamy avocado makes for a nice pairing. However, if those are the only two ingredients, it’s not all that interesting on the flavor front. I believe I have changed that. Sure, you still have a base of toast and mashed avocado, but the toppings are what make this dish special. You start with a Granny Smith apple. The type of apple is key, in that these apples are sour. Now you have a flavor that adds zing. Next you add a sprinkle (how heavy or light is up to you) of blue cheese. This adds a tangy, funky flavor to your toast. Already your palate should be much more excited. Finally, a drizzle of honey and the tiniest dusting of flaked sea salt finish the toast. You now have multiple textures and flavors to be enjoyed. Crunchy, creamy, crisp and tender ingredients delight your palate. Plus, you have yeasty, savory, tart, tangy, sweet and salty flavors awakening your appetite. Even better than all of the culinary

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SEACOAST SCENE | JULY 30 - AUGUST 5, 2020 | PAGE 14

delights you’ll enjoy with this toast is the absolute simplicity of making this dish. From start to finish it takes maybe 10 minutes, and then it’s time to dive in and enjoy your snack, breakfast, etc. Yes, it is so simple that you really don’t need a recipe. However, I’d suggest giving it a try. Then you’re probably going to want to keep a copy of the recipe for future meals. Michele Pesula Kuegler has been thinking about food her entire life. Since 2007, the New Hampshire resident has been sharing these food thoughts and recipes at her blog, Think Tasty. Please visit thinktasty.com to find more of her recipes.

with a fork until it has a mainly creamy consistency. Season with black pepper, and stir well. Cut apple into quarters; remove core. 2 avocados Thinly slice apple quarters. 2 teaspoons lemon juice, divided Sprinkle apple slices with remaining Freshly ground black pepper, to taste lemon juice; toss to coat. 1 Granny Smith apple Place bread in toaster until golden 2-4 tablespoons blue cheese brown. 4 slices bread Spread smashed avocado on toast. Honey Layer with apple slices, and sprinkle Flaked sea salt with blue cheese. Peel and pit avocado; place in medium- Drizzle honey over the toast. Add a dusting of sea salt. sized mixing bowl. Add 1 teaspoon lemon juice, and mash Eat immediately. Dressed Up Avocado Toast Makes 4

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Dressed up avocado toast. Photo by Michele Pesula Kuegler.

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SEACOAST SCENE | JULY 30 - AUGUST 5, 2020 | PAGE 16

I often talk about sour beer as if it’s simply its own category of beers, just like IPAs or stouts or Pilsners. But that’s not really accurate. The category, if we can even call it that, is much, much broader. Sour beers run across styles. They vary greatly in both flavor and color. Some are so bright and tart that you have to pucker up. Others are much, much more mellow, featuring more earthy tones and layers upon layers of complexity — and everything in between. Lambics, Gose, Berliner weisse and wild ales are all styles that can qualify as sours. Regardless of the style, sours are unified, in my mind, by an extremely vague standard that I will describe as: they taste funky. See, not a whole lot of science behind that analysis. Bacteria creates the tart acidity most have become accustomed to with sours, and wild yeast adds the earthiness; admittedly, this is a pretty dramatic oversimplification, but that’s what we’re going with. On a hot day, a tart, crisp, salty Gose is perfect and a Berliner weisse, which is a variant of a wheat beer, is a perfect summer brew, thanks in part to its superlow alcohol level. A lambic can be heavier and and downright syrupy and wild ales can sprint across the spectrum. In the summer I want brews that are crisp, refreshing and on the lighter side but still have plenty of flavor. What I’ve really started to enjoy about lighter sours, particularly Goses and Berliner weisses, are the unique combinations of flavors sours can bring together. The SeaQuench Ale by Dogfish Head Craft Brewery, for example, is “a session sour mash-up of a crisp Kölsch, a salty Gose and a tart Berliner weiss brewed in sequence with black limes, sour lime juice and sea salt.” I don’t know what black limes are and I’m scared to ask, but the resulting brew is super light and refreshing, extremely tart and crisp, but still overflowing with big flavor. Ballast Point Brewing Co. features a Citrus Cove Gose that boasts a similar salty-lime profile. Both of these brews are approachable and eminently drinkable but the tart acidity coupled with fruity flavors adds a new dimension to the drinking experience. Here in New Hampshire, breweries are not ceasing to experiment. Throwback Brewery in North Hampton currently features a Plum Luck Sour, a Gose brewed with salt and plums. Stoneface Brewing Co. in Newington offers All the

Light-bodied sours are perfect for summer. Courtesy photo.

Raspberries & Blackberries, a Berliner weisse brewed with “copious” amounts of blackberries and raspberries and which “strikes the perfect balance of sweet and tart,” says the brewery. 603 Brewery produces its own take on a refreshing lime-flavored sour with its Margarita Gose, pairing the flavors of lime, salt and bit of orange. Henniker Brewing Co.’s Sour Flour is an exciting dry-hopped brew boasting bright, tropical fruit flavors with the flavor of tart lemon. Poppy’s Moonship, a brew by Schilling Beer Co., is another interesting Gose featuring a “gentle salinity” and which is brewed with Schilling’s own house culture. Basically, what I’m trying to say is if a brewery wants to toss a bunch of fruit, some salt and some crazy bacteria and yeast into a brew, don’t sprint in the opposite direction. Dive in face first. Jeff Mucciarone is a senior account manager with Montagne Communications, where he provides communications support to the New Hampshire wine and spirits industry. What’s in My Fridge Evil 3 Triple IPA by Heretic Brewing Co. (Fairfield, Calif.) Full disclosure: This beer was just too much for me. I’m not ashamed to admit it. This ultra-aggressive triple IPA comes in at 11.5 percent ABV — full stop. I woke up the next morning after having a single beer wondering what exactly happened the previous evening. I think others will probably disagree but I just felt like the alcohol made it hard for me to fully appreciate the other characteristics of this beer. But I could also be a big baby. I do look forward to trying this again to see if I feel any different about it. Cheers!

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First Cow (PG-13)

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An enterprising duo finds more oily cakes (cooked on the spot), money in baked goods in First leading to a line of eager customers and cake-embellishments like a shaving of Cow.

Otis Figowitz (John Magaro) is, as his nickname “Cookie” suggests, the cook for a team of men hunting for beaver pelts in the Pacific Northwest in the 1800s (Wikipedia says 1820). While searching for mushrooms and other edible fare to add to the provisions for the hangry trappers, he meets King Lu (Orion Lee), originally from China and now naked and hiding from a party of Russian trappers. Cookie gives King Lu some food and takes care of him for a day or so while he recuperates from days on the run. Later, after Cookie has been paid for the hunting expedition, he meets King Lu in the small town (a bar, some houses, a thoroughfare where people sell all manner of things) that appears to serve as the seat of officialdom for the area. King Lu takes Cookie to the small shack where he’s set up a home. They hang out for a while, talking about future plans (maybe a farm for King Lu, maybe a hotel and bakery for Cookie) and eventually about food. A cow has recently been brought to the area by the local rich guy, Chief Factor (Toby Jones), and Cookie has seen it hanging out in the meadow. What’s the harm in burrowing a little milk late at night? Cookie makes a kind of fried biscuit with the first batch of stolenmilk-enhanced batter. King Lu sees opportunity in these non-hardtack foodstuffs. Cookie makes a batch of oily cakes, which have kind of a doughnut-y appearance, and quickly sells out of them in the town’s thoroughfare, with King Lu even helping along a bidding war for the last cake. They sneak in for another nighttime milking of the

cinnamon. The cakes are, I guess, the talk of the town and Chief Factor shows up to try one, leading Cookie to worry that he will eventually guess at the ingredients. Factor asks for Cookie to make an even more elaborate dessert for an upcoming tea party and King Lu and Cookie find themselves trying to judge exactly how far they can take their criminal baking endeavor: they want to sock away enough money to chase their dreams but get out before they are caught. There is a watchfulness about this movie — watching Cookie look for mushrooms or fry up oily cakes, watching other people in the town sell their goods, watching people go about their day. The movie takes the time to look around at the world this story is set in and what it maybe loses in momentum it gains in texture. There isn’t a lot to this movie in terms of events but there is a lot of richness, a lot of giving us the feeling of what a thing is like — a dirty bar, a spot in the woods or even the friendship between these two men, which is a truly lovely element of this story. This movie is the ultimate shownot-tell and it is able to immerse you in its world and in its characters without romanticizing the harsh realities of its time. A Rated PG-13 for brief strong language, according to the MPA on filmratings.com. Directed by Kelly Reichardt with a screenplay by Jon Raymond and Kelly Reichardt (based on the novel The Half-Life by Jon Raymond), First Cow is two hours and two minutes long and distributed by A24. The movie is available for rent or purchase.

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SEACOAST SCENE | JULY 30 - AUGUST 5, 2020 | PAGE 17

POP CULTURE BOOKS

Porkopolis, by Alex Blanchette (246 such an operation: the hogs, yes, but also the pages, Duke University Press) 5,000 or so workers the company employs. To do so, he worked in the plant and became When Alex Blanchette first moved to friendly with the workers and other residents “Porkopolis,” residents asked if he was pro- of the town, as well as company officials. hog or anti-hog. “Neither,” he would say, He enjoyed this extraordinary access and with the earned detachment of an academic. trust because they knew he was writing a For you and me, the question comes down scholarly book, one that presumably would to this: are we pro-bacon or anti-bacon? The not make much of a splash. And it will hold average American is said to eat 18 pounds little appeal for the casual reader, dense as it of it every year, despite occasional exposure is with footnotes and ten-dollar words. (thanks largely to PETA) to the horrors of But that’s unfortunate, because factory farming. Porkopolis is an even-handed exploration But it is harder still to justify eating of an issue usually dominated by extremes: bacon and pork tenderloin after reading the “People-gotta eat,” “They’re just stupid Blanchette’s clear-eyed account of animals” and “There wouldn’t be a Dixon the industrial pig. Begun as a doctoral without hogs” chorus on one side; the dissertation, the book is about as far “murderous, animal abusers” chorus on the from a PETA diatribe as you can get; other. Blanchette applies a dispassionate eye to In fact, the plant where Blanchette “concentrated animal feeding operations,” worked employed people who would also known as CAFOs. He moved to an sometimes try to smuggle a sick piglet town he calls “Dixon,” home to a massive out of the building in their coveralls so it meat-processing operation that manages wouldn’t be euthanized, and who would all facets of a hog’s life, from the artificial resuscitate a stillborn pig with their own insemination of its mother, to the slitting mouth and cheer when the piglet took its of its throat, to its rendering and dispersal first breath. to not only our supermarket counters but That said, they willingly take jobs that largely unseen uses in our daily lives in involve sitting on a sow’s back while she gelatin. (“I cannot write this book — it is is artificially inseminated so she will have possible that I cannot type this sentence — babies we will eat in six months. Those on without touching dead traces of industrial assembly lines are subjected to physical pigs,” Blanchette writes. trauma that seems similar to the suffering He was not there to sensationalize what of the pigs, so much so that new hires are goes within a plant that kills a hog every warned that they will endure a period of three seconds, about 7 million hogs every “breaking in,” which Blanchette calls “the year, but to understand the ecosystem of agonizing process of molding the human

body to the disassembly line’s machinedriven repetition.” The psychological toll of the work (some workers, for example, spend six days a week wiping blood and feces from pig intestines) seems secondary to its physical assaults. It’s hard to write on the topic without separating the players into heroes and villains, Blancette says. “However, what remains is something perhaps more honest: how people in this town, like so many of us, struggle within and against things they are a constitutive part of but do not know how to change.” That said, even Blanchette’s moral generosity and even-handed treatment of the pork industry cannot powder and perfume the everyday horrors contained within: the sow (sow, because she’s not allowed to be a mother) banging her head violently against a metal enclosure because she cannot nest, as is her instinct; the coolers in which deficient piglets are enclosed to be gassed. And regardless of benefit, the practice of feeding piglets plasma from older, slaughtered pigs is something that the average person eyeing a BLT would rather not contemplate. In the end, Blanchette does seem to take a side, however softly. He rues the pig’s lost right to be “an inefficient creature,” its every cell sucked into a capitalist chute applauded for making use of every part of an animal. The planet is full of chicken carcasses, he explains. This fossil record of chickens, whose bodies we grotesquely modify for

the right to enjoy six nuggets for a dollar, may one day be studied in conjunction with human dominance during the anthropocene. But these future archeologists would find no pig skeletons preserved in amber. Like ethical hikers, we leave no trace. We are like mothers yelling at our children, “I gave you life, I can take it away.” Only by creating the need for factory farms with our excessive consumption, we really mean it. Blanchette may not have set out to write an argument for de-industrializing pigs, but he achieved it. B — Jennifer Graham

BOOK NOTES

John and Maryanne McDonough of Hampton, NH on the occasion of their 55th wedding anniversary. On June 26, 2020 they went to Rye Lobster Pound for fluffy chowder and hot lobster rolls. They were offered congratulations by the owner, Sylvia. Photo courtesy of Sara Wilbur. SEACOAST SCENE | JULY 30 - AUGUST 5, 2020 | PAGE 18

If you’ve already read How Not to Die Alone, don’t get too excited about Something to Live For, a new paperback by Richard Roper that was published thisa week. It’s the same book. How Not to Die Alone, Roper’s debut novel, came out in hardcover in May 2019. It was generally well-received. It garnered a “meh” number of ratings on Amazon (161) but got a thumbs-up in The New York Times and USA Today. So why the new title? It’s not unusual for a book to have a different title in the U.S. and the United Kingdom (e.g., Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone vs. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone). Less common is an American title that is changed when a book goes from hardcover to paperback. As it turns out, we can blame the Brits and the pandemic. Roper wrote recently on his website that How Not to Die Alone was the original title but while “the U.S. loved it,” it was considered too dark for the U.K. So it was released there as Something to Live For, which is the title of a song that is meaningful in the book.

But then 2020 swaggered in, and now How Not to Die Alone is too dark in Covidian America. “And so, after all that, the book is now called Something to Live For everywhere,” Roper wrote on his blog. “Oh, apart from Sweden, and Germany, which both have different titles.” Meanwhile, on Reddit (r/books), there rages a debate on whether paperbacks or hardbacks are better. What’s most interesting in the thread is how many people say they have been literally injured by hardback books, usually while reading in bed. The mentioned assailants: The Lord of the Rings (“nearly cleaved my head in two”), The Count of Monte Cristo (1,488 pages), Oathbringer (1,248 pages) and Harry Potter and the HalfBlood Prince (672 pages). But this has to be the best answer: “I carried around a really thick hardcover book while I was in jail. Mostly because I was reading it but it was nice knowing that I had something that could hold up to some damage should something crazy have happened. Hardcover better.” Now you know. — Jennifer Graham

Exeter Sawbelly Brewing 156 Epping Road, 583-5080

Thursday, July 30 Exeter Sawbelly Brewing: Todd Hearon, 5 p.m. Hampton Ashworth: Pete Peterson, 4 p.m. Bernie’s: Supernothing, 7 p.m.; Sheldon Benton, 2 p.m.; Joe Sambo, 7 p.m. CR’s: Judith Murray, 6 p.m. The Goat: Isaiah Bennett, 8:30 p.m. Sea Ketch: Ross McGinnes, 1 p.m. Smuttynose: Open mic with Max Sullivan, 6 p.m. Wally’s: Chris Toler, 7 p.m.

Hampton Ashworth by the Sea 295 Ocean Blvd., 926-6762 Bernie’s Beach Bar 73 Ocean Blvd., 926-5050 Hampton Ashworth: Dean Harlem Duo, 4 p.m.; DJ, 8 p.m. Bernie’s: Chris Toler, 1 p.m.; Stephanie Jasmine Band, 8 p.m.; Mike Forgette, 8 p.m. CR’s: Rico Barr Duo, 6 p.m. The Goat: Rob Pagnano, 8:30 p.m. Sea Ketch: Leo & Co., 12:30 p.m. Smuttynose: Amanda Dane Duo, 6:30 p.m. Wally’s: Mike Spaulding, 8 p.m. Newmarket Stone Church: Dave Gerard, 6 p.m.

Newmarket Stone Church: Chris O’Neil, 6 p.m.

Portsmouth Gas Light: Jodee Frawlee, 12:30 p.m. The Goat: Jonny Friday Duo, 9 p.m.

Portsmouth Gas Light: Gabby Martin, 8 p.m. The Goat: Sheldon Benton, 9 p.m.

Seabrook Chop Shop: Brick House, 7 p.m.

Friday, July 31 Exeter Sawbelly Brewing: Dan Walker, 2 p.m.; Artty Francoeur, 5 p.m.

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Stratham Tailgate: Rich Amorim, 7 p.m.

Bogie’s 32 Depot Square, 601-2319 Community Oven 845 Lafayette Road, 601-6311 CR’s The Restaurant 287 Exeter Road, 929-7972 Saturday, Aug. 1 Exeter Sawbelly Brewing: Alan Roux, 2 p.m.; John Irish, 5 p.m. Hampton Ashworth: Grim Brothers Band, 4 p.m.; DJ, 8 p.m. Bernie’s: MB Padfield, 1 p.m.; The Pogs, 8 p.m.; Sheldon Benton, 2 p.m. and 8 p.m. Community Oven: Brad Bosse, 5 p.m. The Goat: Mike Spaulding, 2 p.m. & 8 p.m. Smuttynose: Rebecca Turmel, 1 p.m.; Troy & Luneau, 6:30 p.m. Wally’s: Chris Toler, 3 p.m. & 8 p.m. WHYM: Andrew Geano, 4 p.m. Newmarket Stone Church: Members of Bearly Dead play Jerry’s Birthday Bash, 6 p.m. Portsmouth The Goat: Dave Perlman, 9 p.m. Striker: Max Sullivan, 9 p.m.

The Goat 20 L St., 601-6928 Instabar 61 High St., @instabar.nh McGuirk’s Ocean View Restaurant & Lounge 95 Ocean Blvd. Sea Ketch 127 Ocean Blvd., 926-0324 Smuttynose Brewing 105 Towle Farm Road Wally’s Pub 144 Ashworth Ave., 926-6954

WHYM Craft Pub & Brewery 853 Lafayette Road, 601-2801

Seabrook Chop Shop: Inner Child, 7 p.m.

Monday, Aug. 3 Hampton Bernie’s: MB Padfield, 7 p.m.; Reggae Nights with the Green Lion Crew, 7 p.m. The Goat: Shawn Theriault, 8:30 p.m. Sea Ketch: Ray Zerkle, 1 p.m. Wally’s: Adam Lufkin, 7 p.m.

Portsmouth Gas Light: Pete Peterson, 8 p.m. The Goat: Isaiah Bennett, 9 p.m.

Portsmouth Gas Light: Tim Theriault, 8 p.m. The Goat: Musical Bingo Nation, 7 p.m.; Alex Anthony Band, 9 p.m.

Hampton Ashworth: Bob Pratte Band, 4 p.m.; Dean Harlem Solo, 8 p.m. Bernie’s: Adam Lufkin, 7 p.m.; Sheldon Benton, 2 p.m.; Mike Francis of Soul Rebel Project, 7 p.m. The Goat: Emily Rae, 8:30 p.m. Sea Ketch: Leo & Co., 1 p.m. Wally’s: Chris Toler, 7 p.m.

Stratham Tailgate: Bria Ansara, 7 p.m. Sunday, Aug. 2 Hampton Ashworth: Paul Warnick Solo, 4 p.m. Bernie’s: Joe Sambo, 1 p.m.; Roots of Creation, 7 p.m.; Sheldon Benton, 2 p.m. & 8 p.m. Bogie’s: Max Sullivan, 2 p.m. CR’s: Gerry Beaudoin, 4 p.m. The Goat: Isaiah Bennett, 9 p.m. Instabar: King Kyote, noon Sea Ketch: Ray Zerkle, 1 p.m. Wally’s: MB Padfield, 2 p.m.; Mike Spaulding, 7 p.m. Newmarket Stone Church: Open mic with Dave Ogden, 5 p.m Portsmouth Gas Light: Clint Lapointe, 6 p.m. The Goat: Rob Pagnano Duo, 9 p.m.

Newmarket Stone Church 5 Granite St., 659-7700 Portsmouth Cisco Brewers 1 Redhook Way, 430-8600 Dolphin Striker 15 Bow St., 431-5222

Tuesday, Aug. 4 Hampton Bernie’s: Mike Forgette, 7 p.m.; Sheldon Benton, 2 p.m.; Ivory Tickling Tuesdays with Paul Wolstencroft of Slightly Stoopid, 7 p.m. The Goat: Rob Pagnano, 8:30 p.m. McGuirk’s: Brad Bosse, 7 p.m. Sea Ketch: Paul Lussier, 1 p.m. Wally’s: Chris Toler, 7 p.m. Newmarket Stone Church: Wendy Jo Girven, 5 p.m.

The Gas Light 64 Market St., 430-9122 The Goat 142 Congress St., 590-4628 Seabrook Chop Shop Pub 920 Lafayette Road, 760-7706 Stratham Tailgate Tavern 28 Portsmouth Ave., 580-2294

Wednesday, Aug. 5 Exeter Sawbelly Brewing: Kioea, 5 p.m.

Newmarket Stone Church: An evening with Dan Minor and guests, 6 p.m. Portsmouth Gas Light: Paul Warick, 8 p.m. The Goat: Sheldon Benton, 9 p.m. Striker: Max Sullivan, 9 p.m.

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SEACOAST SCENE | JULY 30 - AUGUST 5, 2020 | PAGE 19

BEACH BUM FUN HOROSCOPES All quotes are from The TB12 Method: How to Achieve a Lifetime of Sustained Peak Performance, by Tom Brady, born Aug. 3, 1977.

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Leo (July 23 – Aug. 22) What are your goals? How do you define success in your life? Only you can answer that! Yay! Virgo (Aug. 23 – Sept. 22) The game never stops evolving, so why should I? You shouldn’t. Libra (Sept. 23 – Oct. 22) … just because you’re standing at a buffet, that doesn’t mean you’re supposed to eat everything. You should eat just enough so that you feel full, and no more. Sports training is no different. Binge watching may not be the best way to go, either. Scorpio (Oct. 23 – Nov. 21) Many gym trainers tell athletes to target their upper bodies on Mondays and Wednesdays and their lower bodies on Tuesdays and Thursdays. At TB12, we advise athletes to do upper body, core, and lower body in the same workout. A comprehensive approach is best. Sagittarius (Nov. 22 – Dec. 21) … the ones I remember best are the closely fought games in which, no matter what the scoreboard says, our team put in our best effort. Ah, those are good times. Capricorn (Dec. 22 – Jan. 19) Strong athletes like to work on strength, and fast athletes like to work on speed. But that doesn’t create balance. To create balance, we need to work on our deficiencies as well. You know what you need to do. Aquarius (Jan. 20 – Feb. 18) After the seventh push-up, your chest is straining and you feel fatigued. … But your brain says, ‘Keep going! Fight hard!’ It asks other muscles to step

in to help you finish. It could be your lats, your triceps, or your butt — your brain calls on any muscle that will help you achieve your goal and finish what you set out to do. But to me, form first means engaging only the muscles you should be engaging for the movement you are attempting to do. That’s how you keep the proper balance. Start easy and work your way up. Pisces (Feb. 19 – March 20) If you do daily squats with a four-hundred-pound load on your back, the only thing you’ll get better at is squatting with a four-hundred-pound load on your back. Which could come in handy sometime! Aries (March 21 – April 19) Make sure you maintain the right biomechanically correct form — knees over feet, hips over knees, and your core engaged — before you start, and stop performing an exercise the moment your form starts to break down. One good push-up is better than 10 bad ones. Taurus (April 20 – May 20) Sometimes I think I’m the most hydrated person in the world. It’s not a competition. Gemini (May 21 – June 20) Sometimes we see older people working out with bands, or doing water aerobics or tai chi. It turns out that they know something the rest of us don’t. Ask them what they know. Cancer (June 21 – July 22) If we’ve lost but I’ve learned something, the game turns into a positive experiment. Sometimes in the moment it doesn’t feel that way, because the emotions are running so high — but you try to learn and move on. Lesson No. 1: Don’t send Lenny from Accounting for coffee.

SUDOKU

Fill in the grid so that every row, every column, and every 3x3 box contains the digits 1 through 9. Answers will appear in next week's paper.

Visit us and tour our distillery in person & enjoy a complimentary sample of our Vodka, Whiskeys and Rum.

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Available for purchase at our location, NH liquor stores, or your favorite bar or restaurant! SEACOAST SCENE | JULY 30 - AUGUST 5, 2020 | PAGE 20

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BEACH BUM FUN ROCKANDROLLCROSSWORDS.com BY TODD SANTOS

LIKE A ROLLING PUZZLE Across 1. Gains a member or does this 5. This “Delicious!” moment is hummed after a good bite of catering 8. Amount that gets drunk in lot, by some 13. Rancid ‘__ Radicals’ 15. Highball ingredient for backstage bar 16. Incubus asked their chess opponent to ‘Make __ __’ after thinking for too long (1,4)

17. Megadeth had their other foot stepped on and got ‘__ Again’ 18. Singer Foreman of Switchfoot 19. ‘03 Korn album ‘__ __ Look In The Mirror’ (4,1) 20. ‘06 Regina Spektor album that sees a light? (5,2,4) 23. Nine Inch Nails ‘Starsuckers, __’ 24. Kenny Loggins sang ‘Return To __

Corner’ to Piglet and Tigger, perhaps 25. Sitar player Collin 27. Acronymous ‘Decemberunderground’ band 30. ‘Lady Marmalade’ singer Hendryx 32. Metal band named after Norse law god 33. Bob Dylan’s rent was overdue when he wrote ‘__ Blues’ 35. Murder By Death ‘The Black __’ 37. Huge memorabilia show, aka 41. Bob Dylan “Hey __, play a song for me, in the jingle jangle morning I’ll come following you” (2,10,3) 44. Stage sweat turns into body this 45. Counting Crows “And __ begins to change her mind” 46. Bob Dylan ‘Don’t Fall __ On Me Tonight’ 47. James Murphy band __ Soundsystem 49. What Madonna tied w/Guy Ritchie 51. Eric Johnson song for Stevie Ray Vaughan 52. Usher places a concert sneak in his proper spot or does this 56. Primal Scream must have been watching The Jeffersons when they wrote

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‘Movin’ __ __’ (2,2) 58. ‘Imperfectly’ DiFranco 59. Neil Diamond ‘66 classic that he wrote alone w/no one around? (8,3) 64. ‘A Thousand Years’ Christina 66. Came after ooh, perhaps 67. Toad The Wet Sprocket & friends asked ‘__ __ Afraid’ while debating the haunted house (3,2) 68. Bryan Adams “No more lies, I’m tired of hurtin’, I think you know what __ __” (1,4) 69. “New Musical Express” UK mag (abbr) 70. Gets licked in battle of bands or does this 71. Evan of Lemonheads 72. Feather’s partner for horrendous opening band 73. The Who ‘Odds and __’ Down 1. Bob Dylan “I yelled down to Captain __, I’ll have ya understand” 2. Pet Shop Boys ‘What Have I __ To Deserve This?’ (4,4) 3. Rapper Snoop Doggy __ 4. Danity Kane might do a risqué ‘__ Tease’ 5. ‘04 Clapton album ‘Me And __ __’ (2,7) 6. David Gray looked in wonder and sang ‘__ __ My’ (2,2) 7. Bob Dylan ‘Why Try To Change __ __’ (2,3) 8. Van Morrison ‘Have I Told You __’ 9. Monkees “Then I saw her face, now __ __ believer” (2,1) 10. ‘Monsoon’ __ Hotel 11. Big show, e.g. 12. What shock rockers want you to do at minimum 14. A lyrical word that’s exactly the same as another word 21. Bob Dylan ‘__ Much Of Nothing’

22. Austin that sang ‘Baby, Come To Me’ w/ James Ingram 26. ‘95 TLC #1 hit 27. Minus The Bear needs it to put in their ‘Guns’ 28. Black Crowes’ Marc 29. Neil Young “Out of the blue and __ the black” 31. ‘08 Vampire Weekend single (hyph) 34. ‘Guitar Town’ Steve 36. Blondie “One way __ __ I’m gonna find you” (2,7) 38. John Lennon ‘Happy __ (War Is Over)’ 39. ‘St Elmo’s Fire (Man in Motion)’ John 40. Where you want to see your band when you’re flipping channels (2,2) 42. ‘82 George Thorogood album ‘__ __ The Bone’ (3,2) 43. Aretha Franklin “You make me feel like a __ woman” 48. A former big band play might play one now, right past the blackjack tables 50. Joseph Arthur ‘Out __ __ Limb’ (2,1) 52. Judas Priest uses ‘__ Fire’ to spray bullets 53. Blink-182 ‘All The Small Things’ album ‘__ Of The State’ 54. Tori Amos song listened to in a loud ambulance? 55. What Pavement might do before they enchant? 57. Perry Farrell’s Porno For __ 60. Simon & Garfunkel “__ rock, I am an island!” (1,2,1) 61. Kenny Chesney ‘Grandpa Told __ __’ (2,2) 62. Blown away 63. Social Distortion’s Mike 65. To skater fans in the 90s, Minor Threat were cool or this © 2020 Todd Santos

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SEACOAST SCENE | JULY 30 - AUGUST 5, 2020 | PAGE 21

NEWS OF THE WEIRD BY ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION

Bright ideas

• Commuters in Berlin, Germany, are required to wear masks on public transportation and are subject to fines if they don’t. Despite that, reports Deutsche Welle, so many people wear their masks incorrectly (covering the mouth but not the nose) that Berlin’s transport company, BVG, is now suggesting that riders skip deodorant when they’re getting ready for the day, in hopes that the body odor on crowded trains will keep those masks in place. “Given that so many people think they can wear their masks under their noses, we’re getting tough,” read a bright yellow posting from July 1 on Twitter. “The BVG is calling for a general deodorant waiver. So now do you still want to have your nose out?” • Farm families in Botswana living beside the Chobe River have long battled herds of elephants that often pass through their fields at night, trampling crops as they move toward the river. Barking dogs and fences have failed to stop the elephants, the BBC reported on July 7, but farmers are having remarkable success with a new weapon: disco lights. Scientists from Elephants Without Borders placed solar-powered strobe lights that flash color patterns along the sides of fields elephants are known to walk through, frightening the elephants away. One farmer reported that before he had lights, “I had more elephants raid ... but in these two seasons with lights I have harvested successfully.”

Sounds like a joke

A man attempting to elude police in a stolen Toyota Land Cruiser on July 5 in Newberg, Oregon, crashed into a woman driving a Buick Regal that had been reported stolen three weeks before, giving police a two-fer. NewbergDundee police said they arrested the driver of the Toyota, Randy Lee Cooper, 27, and then found the driver of the Buick, Kristin Nicole Begue, 25, to be under the influence of intoxicants and arrested her, too, KOIN reported. Neither driver was injured

Wait, what?

Iceland is offering a stressed-out world a unique way to blow off some steam, reports Sky News — scream therapy. The country’s tourist board is inviting people worldwide to record their screams to be played over loudspeakers in one of seven remote locations. “You’ve been through a lot this year,” says the project website, “and it looks like you need the perfect place to let your frustrations out. Somewhere big, vast and untouched. It looks like you need Iceland.” Psychotherapist Zoe Aston approves: “Using a scream as a way to release pent-up emotion allows you to ... reclaim the power that is inside Least competent criminal Wendy Wein, 51, of South Rockwood, Mich- you.” Iceland has suffered relatively little durigan, was arrested July 17 after officials said ing the COVID-19 pandemic, with 1,905 cases she offered an undercover state trooper $5,000 of the disease and 10 lives lost. to kill her ex-husband and giving him money for travel expenses, WXYZ reported. Wein Compelling explanation met the trooper after allegedly visiting the fake What started as a report of a naked man runwebsite rentahitman.com, where she complet- ning down a road hitting cars in Owensboro, ed a form requesting a consultation and named Kentucky, on July 16, soon turned into a home her ex-husband as the target. The owner of the burglary in progress, reports WFIE. Daviess website contacted Michigan State Police, who County Sheriff’s deputies said they arrived at sent the undercover officer. “I’m very surprised the home around 1:30 a.m. to find John Stethat someone thought this website was a true fanopoulos, 41, standing inside, naked and website,” said state police spokesman Lt. Brian covered with mud and blood. Authorities said Oleksyk. The website owner said over the last the suspect rushed the officers while repeated15 years he’s been contacted a number of times ly telling them he had used “mushrooms with by people wanting someone killed, and he turns Jesus and that they were playing a virtual reality all of those requests over to law enforcement. video game together.” Stefanopoulos was eventually tased and taken into custody.

BEACH BUM FUN JONESIN’ CROSSWORDS BY MATT JONES

Suspicions confirmed

Andrea Balbi, president of the Gondola Association in Venice, Italy, announced on July 22 that the organization is reducing the maximum capacity allowed on the iconic boats from six persons to five, CNN reported. The change comes not because of social distancing, but because “over the last 10 years or so, tourists weigh more,” Balbi said. He noted that heavier loads often mean the boats take on water, which makes it harder for the gondoliers to navigate in heavy traffic. “Going forward with over half a ton of meat on board is dangerous,” remarked Raoul Roveratto, president of an association for substitute gondoliers.

“Incorrigibel”

Robert Berger, 25, of Huntington, New York, was scheduled to be sentenced last October after pleading guilty to possession of a stolen Lexus and attempting to steal a truck, but in an effort to avoid jail, he tried faking his own death, prosecutors charged on July 21. The scheme, they said, unraveled when authorities discovered a spelling error and inconsistencies in the font styles and sizes on the fake death certificate submitted by his lawyer. Further, The Associated Press reports, while Berger was “dead,” he was arrested in Philadelphia for providing a false identity to police and stealing from a Catholic college. Visit newsoftheweird.com.

“R-ationing” — it’s three for the price of one Across 1 “RuPaul’s ___ Race” 5 Twitch streamer, often 10 Ride around town 13 Drink brand with a lizard logo 14 San Antonio mission, with “the”

15 Rescue team, briefly 17 Pictures of surrealist Joan’s work? 19 Fortnite company 20 One way to sit by 21 “And here’s to you, ___ Robinson ...”

22 Arrange alphabetically 23 Mountaineer’s vocalization 25 Manzarek of The Doors 26 Stereotypical person who might demand to speak to the manager of this puzzle 27 End of Wikipedia’s URL 28 Sound from a meadow 30 “Hansel and Gretel” setting 31 Villain who only wears his purple suspenders and “W” hat two days at a time? 35 California city near Stockton 36 Muralist Rivera 37 “Won’t do it” 41 Comedy duo of scientist Marie and singer Burl? 44 It may be served in a spear

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SEACOAST SCENE | JULY 30 - AUGUST 5, 2020 | PAGE 22

10 Chef Boyardee product that had to be renamed for a “Seinfeld” episode 11 Ballpark figure? 47 Bonding words 12 “Whose Line ...” comic Ryan 48 Sixth sense, supposedly 16 What some dryer sheets have 49 Got up 18 “Well ___!” (“Fancy that!”) 50 Baha ___ (“Who Let the Dogs 23 Feline wail Out” group) 24 Cookie that released an egg52 Element #5 shaped version for Easter 2019 54 Cruise destination 25 Projections from a hub 55 Die maximum, usually 26 Backyard pond fish 56 Rapidly disappearing storage 29 Tennis’s Agassi medium 30 Palm leaf 57 Actress Kendrick of the Quibi 32 It does a hold-up job in the series “Dummy” parking lot 58 Program again onto an antiquated 33 Teensy computer storage format? 34 “Teletubbies” shout 62 Bank’s property claim 38 Defeat 63 Last letter in the Greek alphabet 39 Chilean cash 64 Rival of Visa or MC 40 “Pardon the Interruption” network 65 Dishonorable guy 42 Glob or nod ending 66 Intro show 43 “The Many Loves of ___ Gillis” 67 Budget allocation 44 Vatican-related 45 Like some twists of fate Down 1 Psychiatric reference book, for 46 Pupil protector 50 Home of the Dolphins short 51 Throw out 2 French monarch 53 NATO alphabet vowel 3 Like smaller dictionaries 55 Octagonal road sign 4 Crystal-filled cavity 56 “Aw, fiddlesticks!” 5 No longer fresh, as venison 59 Cause of conflict, maybe 6 Pie ___ mode 60 Hang-out room 7 Igneous rock, once 61 Abbr. after a telephone number 8 Abrasive manicure substance 9 Monica’s brother on “Friends” © 2020 Matt Jones

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