Under the Sea - Seacoast Scene 09-24-20

COOKIES & CONNIPTION COFFEE FITS P. 11 P. 18 SEPT. 24 – 30, 2020

Your guide to wildlife on the coast

INSIDE: MEET MISS HAMPTON BEACH

A WORD FROM LARRY

Year-round businesses What a great weekend! Even though the beaches are slowly closing and the tourists are leaving, there are still many businesses that stay open all year.

These places rely on Larry Marsolais the locals so please give them your support. Stop into your favorite place or try something new — no lines, no waiting and plenty of parking spaces!

With that said, the tents that are up at many of the restaurants will be coming down pretty soon. All of us have to continue to support our local businesses as they move inside during the cold weather season. For them to survive during the fall and winter they need us; if you

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Sooner than we think, most of us will be in our homes with the heat on and complaining about the cold weather, so get out and enjoy the fall season because we all know that winter is right around the corner! And if you are like me and have put aside some of those projects around the outside of your house because it was too hot, now is the time to wrap them up.

As always feel free to call me anytime at 603-935-5096 to discuss local issues or to place an ad.

Larry Marsolais is the general manager of the Seacoast Scene and the current president of the Hampton Rotary Club.

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Photo courtesy of Blue Ocean Society for Marine Conservation.

Advertising Staff Larry Marsolais Seacoast Scene General Manager 603-935-5096 larry@seacoastscene.net

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SEACOAST SCENE | SEPTEMBER 24 - 30, 2020 | PAGE 2

Shane Jozitis, Michael Witthaus, John Fladd, Matt Ingersoll, Angie Sykeny, Jennifer Graham, Jeff Mucciarone, Michelle Pesula Kuegler

Production Tristan Collins, Alex Kusnarowis

Circulation Manager Doug Ladd, 625-1855, Ext. 135 dladd@hippopress.com

COVER STORY 4 Under the sea

PEOPLE & PLACES 8 The coolest Seacoast dwellers and scenes

FOOD 11 Eateries and foodie events

POP CULTURE 16 Books, art, theater and classical

NITE LIFE 18 Music, comedy and more

BEACH BUM FUN 20 Puzzles, horoscopes and crazy news

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Your guide to wildlife on the coast

By Shane Jozitis Harbor seal. Photo courtesy of Blue Ocean Society for Marine Conservation.

While the beaches may be less crowded now that summer is over, many marine animals reap the benefits of this location year-round. Here are a few fun facts about your aquatic neighbors.

1. Harbor Seal

“Harbor seals are like the puppy dogs of the seal family,” said Dianna Schulte, director of research at the Blue Ocean Society of Portsmouth, which operates its Discovery Center at Hampton Beach. “They’re usually born around May and June, and they’ll stay with the mother and nurse for about three to four weeks.” According to nhpbs.org, you can most commonly find these seals in shallow estuaries, rivers and sandbars during low tide. They are known to bask in the sun during low tide at Wallis Sands Beach in Rye. These seals can swim up to 12 miles per hour while right side up or upside down, and sometimes follow fishing boats to catch the scraps that fishermen throw overboard.

Schulte says the likelihood of seeing one is high, as they’re quite common in New England.

“Harbor seals are generally more abundant around here, but we’ve seen a growth in the gray seal population in the past couple of years,” Schulte said.

2. Gray Seal

Gray seals are much larger than harbor seals but can also be found in New Hampshire year-round. Male gray seals can grow up to eight feet in length and sometimes weigh a whopping 800 pounds, whereas females can reach up to seven feet and 550 pounds. These gray-coated seals are distinguishable by their long snouts, which explains why they’re sometimes referred to as “horseheads.”

The gray seal population saw an increase after the Marine Mammal Protection Act was passed in 1972, which prohibited hunters from harming them.

“Gray seals were hunted for a long time, with a bounty of $5 if you brought proof of killing them,” Schulte said.

However, both harbor seals and gray seals have been at risk for a respiratory infection called phocine distemper virus, which has been spreading to seals in the Northeast since 2018.

“Sadly a lot of seals were affected, especially in New Hampshire, Massachusetts and Maine,” Schulte said.

SEACOAST SCENE | SEPTEMBER 24 - 30, 2020 | PAGE 4

3. Atlantic White-Sided Dolphin

These dolphins reside in the North Atlantic Ocean year-round and are the fourth most commonly spotted cetacean in the area, according to the Blue Ocean Society. It’s hard to spot them from the beach as they stay about 10 to 20 miles offshore, but their social behavior and friendly nature often draw them near boats on the water.

“During whale watching season we’ll see the Atlantic white-sided dolphin on 20 percent of our trips,” Schulte said. “The average pod size is about 40.”

Schulte says she’s seen upward of 100 white-sided dolphins in a single pod, a testament to their social and playful nature.

“They’re a lot of fun to see,” Schulte said. “Usually on the playful side, they’ll jump out of the water and do all types of aerial activities.”

This species has very distinguishing features, such as tan-striped sides and a smaller flipper and beak than other

dolphins. They can grow up to eight-anda-half feet and weigh up to 500 pounds.

“They’re really cool-looking,” Shulte said. “They don’t look like a typical gray bottlenose that everyone is used to seeing.”

4. Harbor Porpoise

Unlike Atlantic white-sided dolphins, harbor porpoises are shy and travel in small groups. They prefer coastal areas, but they are typically seen between December and April in New Hampshire, so the chances of seeing one now are low.

Though they closely resemble dolphins in terms of color and shape, their rounded beak and smaller size distinguishes them. Harbor porpoises can grow up to five-and-a-half feet in length and weigh in around 170 pounds. Also unlike dolphins, female harbor porpoises tend to be slightly bigger than males.

5. Starfish

Even though sea stars don’t look very

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Common dolphin. Photo courtesy of Blue Ocean Society for Marine Conservation.

6. Short-Beaked Common Dolphin

These dolphins can also be spotted year-round in New England and can be identified by their sleek and aerodynamic figure. These dolphins prefer a wide array of climates from warm and tropical waters to the cool coasts of the Northeast, making them one of the most abundant species of dolphin in the world.

However, this species of dolphin has only recently made appearances in New England.

“They’ve been popping up a handful of times, which is quite new,” Schulte said.

“Five to 10 years ago we never saw common dolphins in the Northeast.”

They are typically found offshore in large groups as they’re very social, and their pods are most often led by female dolphins.

“For the most part, dolphins are very matrilineal, and the leader of a group is often the most dominant female,” Schulte said.

Like the Atlantic white-sided dolphin, the short-beaked dolphin can grow up to eight feet in length and weigh up to 440 pounds. It can be easily identified by its white underbelly and gray upper body.

Ironically, the Atlantic white-sided dolphin is more common than the common dolphin in New England, according to Schulte.

7. Piping Plover

Even though piping plovers aren’t considered ocean animals, they love the beach. This endangered species typically nests in coastal areas, including Hampton and Seabrook.

This year in particular, the piping plovers at Hampton Beach are being carefully watched because they migrated to an area with more foot traffic.

“The southern end of Hampton Beach has always had a nesting colony for piping plovers, which has been protected,” Schulte said. “Since the beach was closed due to Covid, the plover’s nesting colony moved to the middle part of the beach, where people usually are.”

This migration ultimately led to the cancellation of fireworks at Hampton Beach this summer, as they could easily disturb and harm the piping plovers. Schulte says interns at the Blue Ocean Society are volunteering to keep an eye on the nest and deter people from tampering with it.

Piping plovers are legally protected by the state, and harming or possession of these birds are punishable offenses.

They are typically between six and seven inches tall, with tan hair and a white underbelly and a singular black ring around the neck, which helps them camouflage in the sand to avoid predators.

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intimidating, they are actually called “keystone predators” and control a variety of prey, most notably molluscs. The Seacoast Science Center reported that it has lost over 50 sea stars over the past several years due to “sea star wasting disease.” This disease causes sea stars to detach their limbs from their body without reproducing them. Your chances of finding a starfish on the New Hampshire coast are still high, but it is recommended that you return it to its natural habitat after examination. Starfish are essential to the biodiversity of their habitat. The loss of starfish could completely disrupt the food chain.

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PEOPLE AND PLACES

Representing Hampton A conversation with Miss Hampton Beach

2020’s Miss Hampton Beach, Anna-Marie Alukonis. Courtesy photo.

Even in the midst of a pandemic, the contestants in this year’s Miss Hampton Beach pageant dressed to the nines and hit the stage. Massachusetts resident Anna-Marie Alukonis took the crown this year, and as she begins her journey as a nursing major at Curry College, she’ll be making frequent appearances at the beach.

know each other. After that we chat throughout the weekend and help each other out if anyone needs anything.

It’s definitely a rush. Of course there are a lot of emotions once people get called up for their placements, but in the end everyone is so grateful to have had the experience. Even the years when I didn’t place, I had an amazing time, and that’s really all that matters.

When did you first start doing pageants?

I got my start about eight years ago in the Which part of the competition excites Miss Hampton Beach junior pageant, which you the most? is very ironic to come back eight years latI definitely get the most excited, and the er and take the title of Miss Hampton Beach, most nervous, for the interview in the beginwhich was amazing and very humbling. ning. It’s the first time the judges get to meet you and if you make a good first impresWhat inspired you to come back this year? sion it sets you up for the whole day. This There’s a thing they say in the pageant pageant isn’t about looking for the prettiest world, that you do one and you get hooked, or the most well put together girl. They’re and that’s so true. After my first pageant at looking for someone who genuinely loves Hampton, I continued to compete in vari- Hampton Beach, and if you can effectively ous other systems and places, but something convey that in your interview then the rest is about the environment at Hampton Beach is up to the judges. so incredible and relaxed, and I met some really amazing girls from the area and that’s What do the judges typically want to what brought me back every year. I never know about the contestants? won in the junior division but I placed a few It can be about our personal lives at home, times, but it was the fun I had that always our family and our interests. It also corremade me want to come back. lates to the beach, because they want a good representative at Hampton.

Are you still in contact with the people you shared the stage with?

What was going through your mind I still talk to some of the girls I met when I when you won this year? was 10 years old. They’ve gone on in many It was an amazing thrill to finally get to other endeavors and college, and it’s just that moment when I was standing there with awesome to see the sisterhood that this pag- the first runner-up. At that moment I was eant has created. thinking, ‘You know what, I’ve made it this far and I’m so proud of both of us.’ I was so Walk me through your point of view in a appreciative to be there. Then they said my competition. What’s it like? name as the winner, and my heart dropped.

Specifically to the Hampton Beach pag- My eyes filled with tears, but I couldn’t cry eant, we all come up to the beach on Friday, because I was smiling so much. The amount where we learn the opening number cho- of emotions that overcome you are just reography, the walking pattern, and get to 131729

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incredible, and I looked out to the judges and said thank you. I had told them in my interview how important the title was to me and how I’ve come back after all of these years to compete. To see that they understood what I was saying in that interview was so humbling and incredible.

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What have you been up to since then?

So far we’ve gone to the Yankee Homecoming in Newburyport to support the local shops who’ve been struggling due to Covid-19. Most recently, we went to the sand sculpting competition in Hampton. It was great to see the winners and congratulate them. At the end of the day we’re all representatives of the beach, so it’s really great to connect with them. After that we saw The Continentals perform, who’ve been playing live at Hampton Beach for years now.

They used to perform at the pageant, so it was really nice to talk to them.

What do you have coming up that you’re excited for?

We’re planning a weekend at Applecrest Farm in Hampton Falls, which will be super nice because we’ll get to interact with the community and participate in some fun fall activities. From there, I’m really hoping to do the Penguin Plunge to support the Special Olympics. I’ve attended and volunteered in the past, and I made a promise to the judges that if I won I would get in the water this year. I’ve never actually gone into

the water, but it’s something that I definitely want to do.

Are you allowed to compete again next year?

Unfortunately not, but we’re welcome to come back every year and be a part of the pageant, whether it’s helping the girls or saying a few words. That’s something I’m definitely looking forward to.

What advice would you give to a young woman who’s about to start their journey in pageantry?

There are a few key factors to keep in mind, one of them being confidence. Someone can tell how much self-love you have, and how you embody that. It’s also really important to be genuine. If you tell the judges about something you didn’t really do or something that doesn’t pertain to your life, it doesn’t really show who you are as a person.

As long as you have a passion for what you do and you can convey that, you’re golden.

What is your passion?

I’ve been volunteering since I was a young girl, and I’ve worked closely with a lot of cancer relief programs like Relay For Life. I ended up creating my own organization called Believe Bundles, and we send personalized care packages to cancer patients. Unfortunately it’s been on hold due to the pandemic, but that is something I definitely love to do.

— Shane Jozitis

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SEACOAST SCENE | SEPTEMBER 24 - 30, 2020 | PAGE 9

CAR TALK

Reliability isn’t everything Dear Car Talk: I just traded in my 2004 Jeep Liberty for a “used” 2020 Jeep Renegade Latitude with 4,000 miles. It was a demo. Sticker price was $29,000. I paid

By Ray Magliozzi $21,000. It has all the bells and whistles; cold weather package, safety package, etc. I even got the color I wanted: Metallic Bikini.

My son is a mechanic. He was, well, let’s say, unhappy with my choice. He said, “Mom, it’s a Dodge Neon engine in a Jeep body.” I love my Renegade. I joined the JROG (Jeep Renegade Owner’s Group), and it seems most people love their Renegades.

Am I an idiot? Is my son right? Did I make a bad choice? I did get the extended bumper to bumper warranty because of the amount of electronics. Please give me some ammunition to use against my son.

Thank you. — Gretchen

Your best ammunition is “your mom is happy, son.” I mean, he’s not wrong. The Renegade would not be my first choice, in terms of reliability or advanced engineer-

of the air filter was always one of the factors that affects fuel mileage. I still hear it today, even though modern engines are controlled by computers.

Since the computer and its associated sensors constantly maintain the optimum fuel/air mixture, it seems that a dirty air filter (within reason) would have little to no impact on fuel economy. You may need to use a little more throttle to maintain a given speed, but wouldn’t the fuel economy be essentially the same? — Scott

Yes, it would.

Obviously, if someone dumps a pot of five-alarm chili in your air filter, all bets are off. But up to that point, it hardly matters.

Here’s how modern engines work: Air coming into the engine passes through a filter. That weeds out pigeons, leaves and other dirt and debris. The air that gets through the filter then goes past a sensor called a mass airflow sensor. That sensor measures the amount and temperature and, as such, the density of the air that’s coming in.

Dear Car Talk: Then, based on that information, the Since I first poked my head under a computer decides, many times a second, hood nearly 50 years ago, the cleanliness how much fuel to inject to make the ideing. On the other hand, my mom never wanted a car in Metallic Bikini.

He’s probably worked on cars in a shop and seen more than his share of Jeeps come in, and he’s just looking out for you.

I think your other strong argument is that with all the money you saved, you wisely bought the extended warranty. So if something goes wrong with the Jeep, tell your son that he won’t have to scrape his knuckles to figure it out and fix it. You’ll be able to go back to the dealer and get it fixed for free, while fending off the salesman trying to sell you another Jeep.

You also might tell your son this: Reliability isn’t everything. There’s also fun.

And cute. And the image of adventure.

And being in love with your car. And some folks are perfectly willing to trade off some reliability and lots of other things for those characteristics. Hey, it’s a free country.

Plus, if you’re stepping up from a 2004 Jeep Liberty, this Renegade has got to feel like a Mercedes S-Class to you, so tell him to let you enjoy it. And don’t tell him when it breaks; just quietly get it fixed.

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al fuel/air mixture in the cylinders. If the amount of air gets reduced over time due to a dirty air filter, the computer will simply adjust and send in less fuel to match it. So your mileage and, just as important, your emissions, will stay the same.

If it gets really plugged up, it could affect the amount of power you get. But it won’t affect anything else. And honestly, we just don’t see dirty air filters like we used to. Twenty-five years ago, an older car might come into the shop, and we’d pull out the air filter, and it’d be disgusting. It’d be greasy and oily and almost black. Now when we see a really dirty air filter, it’s usually because some rodent has been using it as a place to warm its nuts.

The reason air filters stay cleaner is largely because crankcase ventilation systems work much better than they used to. In the old days, they’d send oily fumes through the filter and make it filthy in no time. Plus, outside air, in general, is cleaner. That’s a great accomplishment, and not just for cars. So if you check your nose hairs, Scott, they probably don’t need changing as often either.

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FOOD

AT 7NORTH COFFEE CO. When Doug York saw one of his friends making coffee using a French press during a camping trip about a decade ago, it opened up a whole new world for him. The Exeter native and former high school media instructor bought his own press, began reading up on how to grind his own coffee beans and started to discover coffees from around the world. York’s passion for coffee soon turned into a career endeavor — he found the vacant building space across the street from Gerry’s Variety. Coincidentally, it’s just a few streets over from where he grew up, and he remembers thinking it would make a great space for a coffee shop. Last month, after leaving his teaching job at Exeter High School, York opened the 7North Coffee Co. (56 Lincoln St., Exeter, 580-1802, 7northcoffee.com). The shop features specialty coffees and espresso drinks with beans roasted from Little Wolf Coffee Roasters of Ipswich, Mass., as well as teas from White Heron in Portsmouth, and cookies, muffins and several other baked goods that are made in house. The shop’s name, York said, is a reference to the nearby train stop, or the seventh regular stop from the northernmost part of the Amtrak Downeaster line. The Scene recently spoke with York about how his first few weeks as a coffee shop owner have gone and some of his personal must-try recommendations on the 7North Coffee Co.’s menu.

How long has the 7North Coffee Co. been around?

We officially opened on Aug. 17. We’re serving coffee, coffee drinks and some small foods that go well with coffee.

Eventually we’ll be expanding to other small breakfast items that you can take on the go, so bagels, breakfast sandwiches, things like that.

What makes the 7North Coffee Co. unique?

I think the differentiating factor in all this … is the atmosphere that I’m working to provide for people. I really want to create a culture around coffee here and

Courtesy photos

What is something that everyone just a comfortable community space. We also have the local roastery that we’re should try?

One thing that has really jumped off working with and different blends from that roastery. All the food is made from the menu that I was not expecting was the mocha latte, which has espresso, chocolate scratch here in the kitchen too. syrup and anyone’s personal preference of What is your personal favorite coffee milk. … We’ve also had a lot of really nice compliments on our chocolate chip cookor food on the menu?

My hands-down personal favorite is ies, which are all made from scratch by my just a nice hot black coffee. What I serve mom. here is called the Companion Blend, What is an essential skill to running a which is a medium-roasted blend with just a little bit of berry and milk chocolate coffee shop?

I would say that it’s surrounding yournotes to it. I think it’s great for everyday self with the right people and learning drinking. from everybody that you can. … I had

reached out to friends of mine in the restaurant and food businesses and I asked them a lot of questions about the process of getting started. They gave me priceless advice and I’m super appreciative of them.

What is your favorite thing about being on the Seacoast?

It really is an area where you can explore all different types of activities you’re into, whether it’s hiking, surfing or going to nice restaurants in the city.

There’s also really a hometown feel here that I appreciate.

— Matt Ingersoll

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FOOD

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The BEST Seafood On The Seacoast

Two of the key ingredients in this recipe tend to be used for savory foods. Balsamic vinegar is a fabulous topping for salad, a key ingredient in marinades, and a simple way to add a glaze to the protein of your choice. Ricotta is the star of many Italian dishes — think lasagna, manicotti and ravioli. However, both of them make fine dessert ingredients as well, when paired properly.

Enter the Ricotta & Balsamic Strawberry Parfait. These two typically savory ingredients add great texture and flavor to this layered dish.

Let’s start with the balsamic vinegar. It is used, along with some sugar, to macerate the strawberries for several hours. This allows the berries to be infused with the vinegar, while also mellowing the vinegar’s acidic notes.

Next is the ricotta. The ricotta is dressed for dessert with the help of some powdered sugar and almond extract. Its hint of sweetness and creaminess are a perfect foil for the flavors and textures in the strawberry layer.

As you prepare your ingredients, you may wonder if two different types of sugar are necessary, as each requires only a small amount. I (obviously) lean toward yes.

However, if you must use only one sugar, go with powdered sugar. The regular white sugar will not blend as well with the ricot-

Ricotta & Balsamic Strawberry Parfait. Photo by Michele Pesula Kuegler.

ta. If you’re questioning the use of almond extract, which is a pantry essential in my kitchen, you could replace it with vanilla extract.

Once assembled, these parfaits are ready to eat, or will keep for a day or two in the fridge.

Michele Pesula Kuegler has been thinking about food her entire life. Since 2007, the New Hampshire resident has been sharing these food thoughts and recipes at her blog, Think Tasty. Please visit thinktasty. com to find more of her recipes.

Ricotta & Balsamic Strawberry Parfait Makes 2

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2 cups diced strawberries 2 tablespoons white sugar 2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar 3/4 cup whole milk ricotta 2 tablespoons powdered sugar 1/2 teaspoon almond extract 2 tablespoons chopped salted pistachios Combine strawberries, sugar and vinegar in a small bowl; stir well.

Cover and refrigerate for at least 4 hours, stirring once or twice. (Refrigerating for up to a day is encouraged.)

When it is time to assemble, place ricotta in a medium-sized bowl.

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SEACOAST SCENE | SEPTEMBER 24 - 30, 2020 | PAGE 14

Ricotta & Balsamic Strawberry Parfait

Add powdered sugar and almond extract, and either whisk or stir vigorously.

Place one-fourth of ricotta mixture in the bottom of a lowball glass or individual parfait dish.

Top with 2 heaping tablespoons of strawberry mixture with a little bit of the liquid.

Repeat with another fourth of the ricotta, followed by 2 tablespoons of strawberries and liquid.

Sprinkle with 1 tablespoon pistachios.

Make second serving of parfait following the same steps.

Can be refrigerated for an hour or two or served immediately.

DRINK

Fine, you can have pumpkin beer now

BEST

MINUTES FROM THE BEACH

Italian Food Around

Who knew pumpkin beer would be such a win?

I saw a reputable brewing company heavily promoting via social media their pumpkin beer’s availability in midAugust — without irony. Seriously. OK, what I’m trying to say is, they were trying to get me jacked up about pumpkin beer while I was in the middle of my summer vacation.

It didn’t work at the time.

And, OK, we’ve all seen pumpkin creep into our lives sooner and sooner each summer and we all have to acknowledge that we as a society here in New England sort of shift to fall overnight, so breweries kind of need to be ready with the pumpkin for that first cool night.

Now that the air is crisp and cool and downright chilly at times, I’m ready to consider the universe of pumpkin-flavored beer. It’s a universe that, to me, is almost diabolical in how hit-or-miss it is. For every one that tastes delicious, you have another that is sugary pumpkin syrup. In beer form, that’s not a good thing.

Enough with the snark; there is something pleasing, comforting and delicious about a well-balanced, spicy, slightly sweet pumpkin ale. First, of course, pumpkins are seasonally appropriate but if brewers are careful with the sugar, it just works really well. But it seems it is hard to amp up the pumpkin without amping up the sweetness.

The success of a pumpkin beer is in its subtleties. You want the aroma of pumpkin and spice. You want a lingering flavor of roasted pumpkin-y goodness but there’s probably a reason why you don’t just see pumpkin juice on the shelves of your local grocery store.

I tend to like a pumpkin beer on the heavier side, like a pumpkin stout or porter, such as Harpoon’s Imperial Pumpkin or a full-bodied Smashed Pumpkin Ale

by Shipyard Brewing Co. I think the earthy taste of pumpkin pairs well with rich malts and deep flavors — that way the pumpkin adds to the complexity rather than overpowering the brew.

That said, lighter- and medium-bodied pumpkin brews like Smuttynose Pumpkin Ale or Roadsmary’s Baby by Two Roads Brewing Co. are also quite pleasing. Again, for me, their success is tied directly to subtle sweetness, rather than in-your-face sugar and spice. I do not go for the cinnamon-sugar rim — not because it tastes bad — but if you go that route, regardless of the brew, I just don’t

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Roasting pumpkins for Able Ebenezer’s Homecoming Ale. Courtesy photo.

think you are going to actually taste and appreciate the beer; the cinnamon and sugar takes over.

The good news is that you have a lot of choices to work with.

Homecoming by Able Ebenezer Brewing Co. in Merrimack is a nice choice that features big pumpkin flavor but without the sometimes dominating flavors of cinnamon, vanilla and other spices.

The Toasted Pumpkin Ale by 603 Brewery in Derry, on the other hand, is another great, unique and well-balanced choice that is aged on vanilla beans and cinnamon sticks. This one has a little higher ABV at 8.2 percent, which helps the beer stand up to a little extra sweetness from the vanilla and cinnamon. The pumpkin still shines through for sure.

Of course, then there’s the Southern Tier Pumking, which is big, syrupy, and sweet, and which I should probably hate, but I love, so go figure.

I think the message here is simple: Go out and explore pumpkin beers this fall and don’t get down if you don’t like one or two. Move on to the next one.

Jeff Mucciarone is a senior account manager with Montagne Communications, where he provides communications support to the New Hampshire wine and spirits industry.

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What’s in My Fridge Sip of Sunshine by Lawson’s Finest Liquids (Waitsfield, Vermont) I haven’t had this one in a long time so it was almost like being reintroduced to an old friend.

This is just a wonderful brew. It’s juicy and hoppy with lots of floral aromas and tropical flavors. This beer just works any time.

Cheers!

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SEACOAST SCENE | SEPTEMBER 24 - 30, 2020 | PAGE 15

FILM REVIEWS BY AMY DIAZ

B R OW N S

Antebellum (R)

Janelle Monáe gives a good performance in the murky, underdeveloped Antebellum.

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I don’t think I can avoid spoiling some of this movie’s plot. As others have noted, Antebellum takes 35-ish minutes to tell you something that you know going in if you have seen its trailers (which IndieWire says were first released in November 2019). If you want to see Antebellum innocent of spoilers, my advice is to wait for it to be cheaper than $19.99 to rent; despite the strong central performance by Monáe, there are a lot of elements to this movie that just don’t gel for me. I mean, that’s my advice for everybody but skip the rest of this if you don’t want to know more.

The spoilers start with the main character’s name. When we first see Janelle Monáe’s character, a man tortures her to get her to say her name is Eden. It is actually, we later learn, Veronica. Veronica is trapped at a plantation where violent men in Confederate uniforms run weird “military” drills and otherwise spend their time forcing captives (a few dozen people maybe, all African American, I think) to pick cotton and not talk. The only “civilians” here are Elizabeth (Jena Malone) — the daughter of the plantation’s owner (Eric Lange) and the wife, probably, of a “soldier” (Jack Huston) — and her young daughter.

This opening third of the movie drops details that suggest what we finally learn when we get to a flashback: Veronica is a present-day, successful and well-known author and speaker about race and gender. She engages in the familiar struggle to balance her family life, with her husband (Marque Richardson) and their young daughter (London Boyce), with her career which occasionally takes her away from home.

We see her travel to a conference to speak and promote her book and then enjoy a dinner with friends (Gabourey Sidibe, who is So Fun here, and Lily Cowles). Her success affords her luxuries — a private yoga trainer, a high-end hotel suite — but it doesn’t shield her from racism, such as a brief encounter with a weirdly hostile hotel clerk or dismissive treatment at a restaurant.

So, persistent and pervasive racism in the modern day; a nightmarishly horrifying racebased system of enslavement from the past. The movie presents these two things (in detail) but I’m not sure what it’s saying about how they connect: maybe that the human evil that allowed for the horrors of the past isn’t gone but just barely hidden, still peeking out in small ways and waiting to be reanimated? Something like that? We get terrible evil and workaday evil but the wires between the two don’t completely connect, the “thoughts and ideas” element doesn’t illuminate and come to life. Because this movie graphically portrays the violence and despair of slavery, I felt like it needs to say something clearly, something beyond just “this is bad” and “these people, the perpetrators, are evil” (and “these people” feels too often like “these other

Antebellum

people in this narrow, outlandish circumstance” or “those people back then” to say something more pointed about race in modern America).

Slavery is a cataclysm that our country is still grappling with (and not) in key life-and-death ways but here it’s ultimately the backdrop for standard horror story beats.

Monáe’s brings more to this movie than seems to be on the page. We dive right into her character when she is in the middle of the nightmare situation. She says and does things that make sense at the time you’re watching them and more sense later on and hang together with the Veronica we meet in the flashback. It’s a demonstration of what a strong actress Monáe is and how good she is at portraying a whole complex person in small moments.

I feel like this movie wants to sit on the shelf with “horror but more” movies like Get Out and The Invisible Man and present itself as art that talks about race and gender while giving us a scary story. But this movie doesn’t deliver on the “more.” C+ Rated R for disturbing violent content, language and sexual references, according to the MPA on filmratings.com. Written and directed

by Gerard Bush and Christopher Renz, Antebellum is an hour and 45 minutes long and is distributed by Lionsgate. It is available for rental for $19.99.

Unpregnant (PG-13)

Two friends hit the road in search of an abortion in Unpregnant, a sweet road trip comedy.

Seventeen-year-old Veronica (Haley Lu Richardson) finds out she’s pregnant. She can’t tell her group of best friends — or her very Catholic parents — for fear of their reactions.

She tells her boyfriend, Kevin (Alex MacNicoll), but his response is to propose — and tell her too belatedly about a mishap with their birth control. Helpfully, though, he does give her a ring, which she pawns to help fund her planned-to-the-minute, two-and-a-half-day trip to New Mexico, the location of the closest clinic open to parentally-unaccompanied teenagers for this Missouri resident. But she needs a car and someone to be with her at the clinic.

Enter Bailey (Barbie Ferreira).

Bailey and Veronica were once best friends but had a falling out before high school. BaiCONTINUED ON PG 17

POP CULTURE BOOKS

The Dynasty, by Jeff Benedict (Avid Read- tells us that Brady texted Kraft “We will adhere to all CDC guidelines” on March 17, there is a er Press, 528 pages) necessary suspension of disbelief.

To hell with Tom Brady. The real GOAT is That said, Benedict’s narrative, ably blended Robert Kraft. That is the only conclusion that with sportswriter-styled quotes from his myriad can be drawn from The Dynasty, Jeff Benedict’s sources, carries the reader comfortably through exhaustive examination of the Kraft-Belichick- 20 years of dynasty building and earlier than Brady era. There is nothing more to be written, that, to the roots of Robert Kraft’s obsession with at least not about things that happened in Fox- the team that was then called the Boston Patriots. borough before the Dumpster fire that is 2020.

In fact, this book could have honestly borne I came to the book as a skeptic, wondering the title Robert Kraft, as it is an ode to the busiif the world really needed another 500 pages nessman who used to take his young sons to see about the Patriots, even by as accomplished a the Boston Patriots play, over his wife’s objecwriter as Benedict, whose 2018 biography of tions. (“The games are on Sunday. The boys have to go to Hebrew school on Sunday.”) Kraft Tiger Woods was achingly good. would dutifully deliver his sons to Hebrew But yes, of course we did.

Tiger Woods was a compelling portrait of a school, but handwrite notes to the teachers each complicated figure (we gave it an A-) and read week, asking that they be dismissed for a “famlike an insider account of the famed golfer’s life ily commitment.” Then he’d pick them up in a even though Benedict and his co-author Armen dark green Porsche (his paper-production busiKeteyian were unable to interview the princi- ness already doing well by then), with a brown pals of the story: Woods, his mother and his paper bag full of sub sandwiches: “two corned beef and two roast beef with mustard.” Excelformer wife, and his late father.

In The Dynasty, however, Benedict had lent parenting, that, and also excellent attention access to many of his subjects, to include to detail, the hallmark of Benedict writing.

He goes on to walk us, courtside, through Robert and Jonathan Kraft, Brady, Rob Gronkowski, Roger Goodell, and Brady’s pre- Kraft’s astonishing quest to acquire the team, decessor, Drew Bledsoe. Notably absent from which was not a snap decision or mere privithe acknowledgements is Belichick, but Bene- lege of wealth, but an obsessive, strategic hunt dict, as it turned out, didn’t need no gruff, that wasn’t so much a plan but a scheme. The reticent Belichick. He began work on the book story of how he acquired rights to the parking two years before Brady obscenely said “I’m not lots and to the stadium, putting the team under going anywhere” in a Super Bowl commercial, his control when he didn’t own the team, is fasand then a month later, announced that he was cinating, as is his patience. Pats fans are now going somewhere after all. (Not that I’m bitter.) accustomed to seeing Kraft and son Jonathan It turned out to be exquisite timing for an sitting in the owners’ box at Gillette, looking explain-all book, which poignantly concludes like models for GQ, but it’s doubtful that many with Brady’s socially distanced visit to Kraft’s understand what it took for them to get there. home in which he tells the Patriots owner he’s Benedict clearly has enormous respect for leaving, and then makes the call to Belich- the Krafts and the organization they built, but ick, with Kraft standing over him like a parent he doesn’t shy away from the generous supply insistent that a child call the grandparent to say of controversies that have accumulated over the thank you for the birthday gift. years, from the locker-room scandal involvThat scene, while no doubt fundamentally ing Boston Herald writer Lisa Olson in 1990, true, raises my only complaint about this sort of to Robert Kraft’s arrest for soliciting prostitubook, which attempts to wed the narrative grace tion in 2019. (A court recently ruled that the of a novel with the rude reality of events long prosecution’s video was inadmissible as evisince past. The skeptic screams, “Did he real- dence, so this will likely go away.) That said, he ly say that?” and creative license being what it doesn’t dwell on it. The charges are mentioned is, the truth is “probably not.” When Benedict in a seven-page epilogue in which Benedict CONTINUED FROM PG 16

ley happened to walk into the girls bathroom just as Veronica learned the results of her pregnancy test and she owns a car. Despite their difficulties, Veronica feels Bailey is the only person she can get help from. The two set out on Friday night with Veronica having carefully scheduled a trip that will get them back by Sunday night, with her parents never knowing where she was. Naturally, things very quickly go awry.

Bailey and Veronica have a friendship that reminded me a lot of the Beanie Feldstein and Kaitlyn Dever friendship in Booksmart (and the Richardson and Hailee Steinfeld friendship in

The Edge of Seventeen, which is the first place I think I saw Richardson, who continues to be an extremely promising young actress). I appreciated how this movie, like those movies, gets to some of what can pull close female friendships apart in their teens, as they’re figuring out who they are and how to deal with the world around them, but then also how nobody is the one high school stereotype they appear to be.

The girls’ relationship takes this movie to a really sweet place, which both is and isn’t jarring with the core story of a girl needing an abortion and a system that has turned a health care situation into an adventure quest. Never Rarely Sometimes Always, the excellent and

neatly summarizes the events of the past year.

The book’s real conclusion is the celebration after the Patriots trounced the Rams in Super Bowl LIII, when Robert and Jonathan Kraft, Brady, Belichick and Goodell all stood on the stage. “When they met in 2000, Belichick was a young father and Brady was fresh out of college. Now Belichick was a grandfather and Brady was a middle-aged dad. The sports world had watched them grow old together through the prism of football. ‘We’re still here,’ Belichick told Jim Nantz,” Benedict writes.

Well, two of them still are. (Not that I’m bitter.) As a Boston sportscaster wisely said earlier this year after Brady signed with the Bucs, “If it doesn’t end badly, it doesn’t end.” In spring it looked as “the dynasty” was over, and Benedict writes with a sense of finality. In fact, the dynasty could thunder on without Brady, depending on how Cam Newton performs. Regardless, The Dynasty will stand as the definitive account of an extraordinary era, and it’s a pleasure to read. A — Jennifer Graham BOOK NOTES Amid the mounds of words that will be written about Ruth Bader Ginsburg this week, those most worthy of our time are the words written by the late Supreme Court justice herself.

My Own Words, released in 2016, is a compilation of writing and speeches by Ginsburg, assembled by Mary Hartnett and Wendy W. Williams (Simon & Schuster, 400 pages; also paperback released in 2018).

It’s a whimsical selection including an editorial Ginsburg wrote for her high school newspaper and a letter to the editor on the subject of wiretapping, published in the Cornell Daily Sun, as well as her Rose Garden acceptance speech and her dissenting opinions.

For those weary of politics, blessedly, there are sports — all of them, concurrently: baseball, football, basketball, hockey, tennis, golf. For those listless moments between games and matches, publishing has us covered with these titles: Three-Ring Circus by Jeff Pearlman, out this week, is a look at another dynasty, the

terrifying movie from earlier this year with roughly the same story line, is the too-real dramatic version of this tale. There, the girls’ money woes and the distance they need to travel heighten the constant danger. Watching that movie was an edge-of-your-seat anxiety trip that I am happy to discuss (say, at Oscar season!) but don’t think I want to experience again.

Here, there are money woes and long-distance travel and some of the people are still jerks but there’s a lightness (the problems are often setups for comedy situations; the girls also meet good people along the way) and a sunniness as the girls’ friendship is rekindled. And yet, both movies end up at a well-crafted indictment of

L.A. Lakers from 1996 to 2004, with emphasis on the fight club that was Shaquille O’Neal and Kobe Bryant with Phil Jackson as the man in the middle (Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 448 pages).

Pass It On by Deshaun Watson appears to be an inspirational book from the Houston Texans quarterback (its subtitle: Work Hard, Serve Others, Repeat) because, of course, nothing qualifies a person to write books as does being an NFL quarterback. Cue The TB12 Method. (Thomas Nelson, 224 pages.)

The Captain is a new memoir from former Mets player Dave Wright (Dutton, 368 pages).

New in paperback for those of you who aren’t bitter: 12: Tom Brady and His Battle for Redemption by Casey Sherman and Dave Wedge. This was originally published in hardcover in 2018 but has been updated with recent events for the paperback release (Back Bay Books, 352 pages).

Tales from the Seattle Seahawks Sideline

by Steve Raible and Mike Sando — no, never mind. That one hurts.

— Jennifer Graham

the political situation that makes the premises possible. All that and Giancarlo Esposito singing a few bars of “Since You’ve Been Gone”?

HBOMax earns its keep for another month. B Rated PG-13 for mature thematic content, sexual content, strong language and some drug references, according to the MPA on filmratings.com. Directed by Rachel Lee Goldenberg with a screenplay by Rachel Lee Goldenberg, Bill Parker, Jenni Hendriks, Jennifer Kaytin Robinson and Ted Caplan (based on a novel by the same name by Hendriks and Caplan), Unpregnant is an hour and 43 minutes long and is distributed by Warner Brothers Pictures and is available on HBOMax.

SEACOAST SCENE | SEPTEMBER 24 - 30, 2020 | PAGE 17

NITE

Threading the needle

Smoky Quartz Distillery

Conniption Fits deliver solid new album

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Conniption Fits. Courtesy photo.

Quarantine produced a variety of reactions from the music community. Some performers polished and completed projects long in progress. Others played nonstop on Facebook Live, while dreaming of an open bar. Some were too busy homeschooling their kids to write songs.

And a few made creation a mission — like Stevens Blanchard, who decided to build a new record from scratch. The result, This Useless Thread, is one of the best things done by his band, The Conniption Fits. It’s full of the present moment, from the modern struggle to find harmony in “Harder Than It Is,” which leads things off, to “Forms in the Gaslight” and its complaints about lying leaders.

It offers layered harmonies and majestic guitar swathed in sonic sheen evoking ’90s power rockers like Foo Fighters, Green Day and Muse.

Blanchard echoes The Edge on “Slipping Jimmy” and crushes the crunch funk of “Money Goes” without being derivative. Ditto the double entendre pop of “White Lies” and the pulsing title song; the sound is all their own.

This Useless Thread is their first album of all new material since 2012’s Friends With Benefits, though the “greatest hits” CD Misinformed Informant, released three years ago, contained a smattering of new songs. The band’s current lineup is Blanchard on guitar and vocals, bass player Jamie Hosley and drummer Jeff Samataro.

In a recent interview, Blanchard talked about the process of creation and how it kept him going in a difficult, challenging time.

“I made it a point that every morning I would get up and go into the studio and lay down some tracks,” he said. “It’s crazy; you do the work and you actually … are productive.”

Blanchard returned from a trip to Switzerland at the end of February “just in time for everything to shut down for three months,” he said.

He had a lot of ideas kicking around.

“All Conniption Fits albums start with me,” he said. “I come up with chords, melody, lyrics, then put it together in some sort of form.”

Once he finished a rough track, it was sent off to Samataro.

“Jeff put his drum input on it, his rhythm things, and that sometimes made us go back a

little bit and retool,” Blanchard said. “Then we have the benefit of doing Jamie on bass last. …

He can really lock in with whatever Jeff did. I always like to say he replaces my crappy tracks with real ones.”

There’s a cohesive, well, thread throughout the new album.

“That’s the really cool thing about doing things so fast; you’re very consistent in thoughts, and I was in a very specific head space,” Blanchard said. “I listened to a lot of stuff. ...

Sometimes I want to do a song that leans more electronic or one that’s sort of rootsy and organic, then run it through the Conniption Fits mill.

It sort of comes out being us, you know?”

The band is usually one of the busiest in the state, a solid draw at places like Murphy’s Taproom in Manchester, Goffstown’s Village Trestle and Stumble Inn in Londonderry. Since June, though, it’s been an average of just one gig a week.

“That’s like a quarter of what we normally do through the summer, and we’re lucky to get one,” Blanchard said. “It’s usually decent money, but that’s all it is.”

On Sept. 27 — Blanchard’s birthday — they’ll close out Rochester’s Porch Festival with an “afterparty” show at The Garage, adjacent to the Governor’s Inn, a venue the Fits have played for years.

“They have been gracious enough to have us,” Blanchard said, adding that he energetically pitched his band for the event.

“I was just thinking of all the venues possible that could do public shows,” he said. “Because we’ve been doing all these private shows, and while they’re great we still want to perform for fans, where people can attend and also feel safe and comfortable. I think that’s one of the best outdoor venues to try something like this.”

— Michael Witthaus The Conniption Fits When: Sunday, Sept. 27, 7 p.m.

Where: The Garage at Governor’s Inn, 78 Wakefield St., Rochester Tickets: $10 at the door

Epping Holy Grail 64 Main St. 679-9559 Railpenny Tavern 8 Exeter Road 734-2609 Telly’s Restaurant & Pizzeria 235 Calef Hwy. 679-8225

Thursday, Sept. 24 Epping Railpenny: Bulkheadz, 5 p.m.

Telly’s: Dave Gerard, 7 p.m.

Hampton CR’s: Don Severance, 6 p.m.

The Goat: Dave Perlman, 9 p.m.

Instabar: Dave Corson, 6 p.m.

Smuttynose: open mic, 6 p.m.

Wally’s: Chris Toler, 7 p.m.

Kingston Saddle Up: karaoke 7 p.m.

Newmarket Stone Church: The JG3, 6 p.m.

Portsmouth Gas Light: Matt Luneau, 7:30 p.m.

The Goat: Isaiah Bennett, 9 p.m.

Rochester 110 Grill: Austin Pratt, 6 p.m.

Governor’s Inn: Marcy Drive, 6 p.m.

Revolution: karaoke, 7:30 p.m.

Exeter Sawbelly Brewing 156 Epping Road 583-5080 Sea Dog Brewery 9 Water St. Hampton Bernie’s Beach Bar 73 Ocean Blvd. 926-5050 Friday, Sept. 25 Epping Telly’s: 603’s, 7 p.m.

Exeter Sawbelly: Max Sullivan, 2 p.m.; Marc Apostolides, 7 p.m.

Hampton Bernie’s: Over the Bridge, 8 p.m.

CR’s: Don Severance, 6 p.m.

The Goat: Rob Pagnano, 9 p.m.

Smuttynose: Lewis Goodwin Duo, 6:30 p.m.

Wally’s: Rob Benton, 8 p.m.

Kingston Saddle Up: Roadhouse, 7 p.m.

Newmarket Stone Church: The JG3, 6 p.m.

Portsmouth Gas Light: Jodee Frawlee, 12:30 p.m.; Sean Coleman, 7:30 p.m.

The Goat: Chris Toler, 9 p.m.

The Statey: Granite Statey Hip Hop

CR’s The Restaurant 287 Exeter Road 929-7972 The Goat 20 L St. 601-6928 Instabar 61 High St.@instabar.nh McGuirk’s 95 Ocean Blvd.

Sea Ketch 127 Ocean Blvd. 926-0324 Smuttynose Brewing 105 Towle Farm Road Wally’s Pub 144 Ashworth Ave. 926-6954

WHYM Craft Pub & Brewery 853 Lafayette Road 601-2801

Striker: Max Sullivan, 9 p.m.

Kingston Saddle Up: Wildfire, 7 p.m.

Rochester Governor’s Inn: Rosie, 7 p.m.

Seabrook Chop Shop: Casual Gravity, 6:30 Stratham Tailgate: Alan Roux, 7 p.m.

Saturday, Sept. 26 Epping Holy Grail: David Amato, 7 p.m.

Railpenny: Todd Hearon, 5 p.m.

Telly’s: BassTastic Duo, 7 p.m.

Exeter Sawbelly: Irish Whiskey, 5 p.m.

Hampton Bernie’s: MB Padfield, 1 p.m.; The Elovaters, 8 p.m. (deck) The Goat: Justin Ray, 9 p.m.

Smuttynose: 603’s, 6:30 p.m.

Wally’s: Chris Toler, 3 p.m.

Kingston Saddle Up Saloon 92 Route 125 369-6962 Newmarket Stone Church 5 Granite St. 659-7700 Portsmouth Cisco Brewers 1 Redhook Way 430-8600

Dolphin Striker 15 Bow St. 431-5222 The Gas Light 64 Market St. 430-9122 The Goat 142 Congress St. 590-4628 The Statey Bar & Grill 238 Deer St. 431-4357

Revolution Tap Room 61 N. Main St. 244-3022

Rochester 110 Grill 136 Marketplace Blvd. 948-1270 Governor’s Inn 78 Wakefield St. 332-0107

Stratham Tailgate Tavern 28 Portsmouth Ave. 580-2294

Portsmouth Gas Light: Doug Mitchell, 7:30 p.m.

The Goat: MB Padfield, 9 p.m.

The Statey: One One The Striker: George & Louise Belli, 7 p.m.

Hampton Bernie’s: The Elovaters, 8 p.m.

CR’s: Steve Sibulkin, 4 p.m.

The Goat: Isaiah Bennett, 9 p.m.

Instabar: Dave Corson, 6 p.m.

Sea Ketch: Ray Zerkle, 1 p.m.

Smuttynose: Austin & Justin, 1 p.m.

Wally’s: MB Padfield, Adam Lufkin, 2 p.m. (rock) WHYM: Max Sullivan, noon

Rochester Governor’s Inn: The Toes, 7 p.m.

Newmarket Stone Church: open mic, 5 p.m.

Seabrook Chop Shop: 2 Motley in NH, 6

Portsmouth Gas Light: Dave Gerard, 2 p.m.

The Goat: Rob Pagnano, 9 p.m.

Newmarket Stone Church: High Range, 6 p.m.

Sunday, Sept. 27 Epping Railpenny: Artty Francoeur, 10 a.m.

Exeter Sawbelly: Wood & Bone, noon; Dub Boat, 3 p.m.

Rochester 110 Grill: John Irish, 3 p.m.

Governor’s Inn: Conniption Fits, Monday, Sept. 28 Hampton Instabar: Dave Corson, 6 p.m.

Seabrook Chop Shop Pub 920 Lafayette Road 760-7706

Wally’s: Chris Toler, 7 p.m.

Portsmouth Gas Light: Tim T, 7:30 p.m.

Goat: Musical Bingo Nation, 7 p.m.; Alex Anthony Band, 9 p.m.

Tuesday, Sept. 29 Hampton The Goat: Rob Pagnano, 9 p.m.

Instabar: Emily Rae, 6 p.m.

Wally’s: Chris Toler, 7 p.m.

Portsmouth The Goat: Isaiah Bennett, 9 p.m.

Stratham Tailgate: Musical Bingo Nation, 6:30 p.m.

Wednesday, Sept. 30 Hampton The Goat: Emily Rae, 9 p.m.

Portsmouth Gas Light: Austin McCarthy, 7:30

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BEACH BUM FUN HOROSCOPES All quotes are from The Terrible and Won- fall into a tanning bed. … Spending time in derful Reasons Why I Run Long Distances, a tanning bed will only earn you the appearby Matthew Inman, born Sept. 24, 1982. ance and intellect of an inbred baked potato.

Don’t be a baked potato. Be a person. You Virgo (Aug. 23 – Sept. 22) Running is may enjoy a nice potato with dinner. not about vanity. If I wanted to look good I’d Pisces (Feb. 19 – March 20) Many endurget a gym membership and stand in front of ance athletes insist on waking up super early a mirror doing bicep curls. You’ll look fine to train. I am not one of those athletes. I’m a either way. runner, not a … werewolf. You can do what Libra (Sept. 23 – Oct. 22) At the base of works for you. this mountain was a massive bamboo forest Aries (March 21 – April 19) Running is which, although beautiful, was home to an not about building strength and wearing it army of Japanese giant hornets. Japanese like a fashion statement. It’s about finding people call these hornets Oo-Suzumebachi strength and measuring yourself every sin… which translates to ‘Giant Sparrow Bees,’ gle day. There is strength to be found. …. Call it like you see it.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20) Log out, Scorpio (Oct. 23 – Nov. 21) What began power down, and get that screen out of your to bother me … was that I was spending my face. Go outdoors, experience the world, entire life staring into glowing plastic boxes right now. Unless it’s cold out, then …. all day. So, on one chilly spring evening of What am I? A polar bear? It’s hot chocolate no particular consequence, I went for a run. time…. Hot chocolate counts as experiencYou’d enjoy a change of pace. ing the world.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22 – Dec. 21) Crunches Gemini (May 21 – June 20) I run often are an exercise where you lie on your back but I am by no means an impressive runner. and angrily try to head-butt your crotch. It’ll You don’t need to be impressive. help if you have a goal.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22) I hadn’t exerCapricorn (Dec. 22 – Jan. 19) Minimize cised in years so I could only go for a few your boredom: run outdoors on a looped minutes. The next day I ran again, and I was course. You can see the wilderness. You can able to make it a little bit farther. The day see the cityscape. Maybe you’ll see a rain- after that I ran almost a mile, and the day bow. Maybe you’ll see a caribou taking a after that I ran OVER a mile. First you walk. dump. Whatever you see, you’ll only have to Leo (July 23 – Aug. 22) Who cares! Forsee it once. You will see interesting sights. get the why. You are in a raging forest full of Aquarius (Jan. 20 – Feb. 18) Fall into beauty and agony and magical grape bevera good book. Fall in love. Fall out of love. ages and lightning storms and demon bees.

Fall into a hole. Fall into something. Fall This is better than the why. Prepare to be into ANYTHING of consequence. Just don’t amazed.

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SUDOKU

Fill in the grid so that every row, every column, and every 3x3 box contains the digits 1 through 9. Answers will appear in next week's paper.

9/17

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BEACH BUM FUN ROCKANDROLLCROSSWORDS.com BY TODD SANTOS

PUZZLE AND CHILD REUNION Across 1. Hives hit album ‘Veni __ Vicious’ 5. Von Bondies had a ‘__ Of Communication’ 9. Led Zep ‘The Girl I Love She Got Long Black Wavy __’ 13. Saigon Kick ‘Love __ __ The Way’ (2,2) 14. Shattersphere’s ‘To No __’ wasn’t of any use, perhaps 16. Take That wouldn’t let go and kept ‘Hanging __ Your Love’ 17. ‘America’s Sweetheart’ King 18. John Prine ‘When I __ __ Heaven’ (3,2) 19. Country’s ‘What If It’s You’

McEntire 20. ‘04 Indigo Girls album ‘All That __ __ In’ (2,3) 22. Bob Dylan “__ __ my friend, is blowin’ in the wind” (3,6) 24. What bands must do to industry changes 26. ‘Roll To Me’ rockers __ Amitri 27. San Fran band Erase __ 29. ‘Unfinished Sympathy’ __ Attack 33. Paul Simon “Get on the bus, __” 34. Van Halen rose early and were ‘__ __ Breakfast’ (2,3) 36. Oomph! album about female egg need?

38. Tom Petty “Tryin’ to make sense __

__” (2,2) 40. Paul Simon ‘Loves Me Like __ __’ (1,4) 42. In cahoots w/Warner or Elektra, one time or another 43. ‘Love At First __’ Styx 45. ‘99 Macy Gray album ‘__ __ Life Is’ (2,3) 47. Beck will step over a fallen ‘Hollow __’ when he’s hiking 48. Joan Osborne “What if God was __?” (3,2,2) 50. Gotye ‘Somebody That I Used To Know’ sidekick 52. Houston ‘Beneath The Wheel’ thrash band 53. Stabbing Westward had cheap seats and were ‘__ __ Away’ (2,3) 54. Depeche Mode were looking down the ‘__ Gun’ (6,2,1) 59. Like huge stars 62. Irish ‘Only Time’ softrock singer 63. “Queen Of Hip Hop Soul” __ __ Blige (4,1) 65. ‘05 Mötley Crüe song ‘If __ __ Tomorrow’ (1,3) 66. Duritz that is not ‘Mr. Jones’ 67. Our Lady Peace sang they could leap tall buildings and were ‘Made Of

9/17

__’ 68. ‘For Whom The __ Tolls’ 69. Tom Tom Club’s Weymouth 70. Paper Lace ‘Billy, Don’t Be A __’ 71. Borrows friend’s guitar or does this Down 1. Hootie & The Blowfish ‘Cracked Rear __’ 2. UK festival spot __ Of Wight 3. Better Than Ezra song for cash icon?

(6,4) 4. John Cougar ‘__ Lover’ (1,4,1) 5. To fall behind waking for show 6. Folk rockin’ NC brothers 7. ‘08 Death Cab For Cutie single for Catherine?

8. Violent Femmes “I’m high as a __, I just might stop to check you out” 9. Irish Celtic rock band that hee-haws?

10. Like fresh image 11. Beatles “Whisper words of wisdom, let __ __” (2,2) 12. What Katy Perry will do in the jungle 15. Jackyl will bring ‘__ Of Fun’ in their dumptrucks 21. ‘All The Things She Said’ Russians 23. Social Distortion ‘Story Of My Life’ singer Mike 25. Paul Simon ‘__ Hobo’ 27. They give members big heads 28. SoCal ‘MCMLXXXV’ pop punkers 29. Goes w/MGMT’s ‘Birds & Monsters’ 30. ‘The Root Of All Evil’ __ Enemy 31. ‘Knives And Pens’ Black __ __ (4,6) 32. Men At Work’s big hit ‘It’s A Mistake’ wasn’t this at all 35. Repeated word in ‘Breathe In’ band name 37. World famous or __-star 39. Live smash ‘Selling __ __’ (3,5)

41. Blues singer Taylor 44. He split his Spandex or did this to them 46. Edie Brickell is Paul Simon’s this 49. Musicians make cameos in them, at times 51. Hole ‘Celebrity Skin’ hit about SoCal town 53. ‘When I Need You’ Leo 54. ‘81 Go-Go’s album ‘Beauty And The __’ 55. ABBA went solo when singing ‘Me __ __’ (3,1) 56. Pop rocker Cabrera 57. Kiss took a vow when they played ‘The __’ on ‘The Elder’ 58. Paul Simon “Upstate November when the air is __” 60. Hard rocker’s bathroom floor pillow 61. Mark Oliver Everett ‘Hombre Lobo’ band 64. Marc Anthony’s ex-wife (1,2) © 2020 Todd Santos

SUDOKU

Fill in the grid so that every row, every column, and every 3x3 box contains the digits 1 through 9. Answers will appear in next week’s paper.

Puzzle A

Puzzle B

Sudoku Puzzle A answer from pg 21 of 9/17

Sudoku Puzzle B answer from pg 21 of 9/17

SEACOAST SCENE | SEPTEMBER 24 - 30, 2020 | PAGE 21

NEWS OF THE WEIRD BY ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION

Awesome!

Florida real estate agent Kristen Kearney was inundated with interest in a condo she listed in Lake Worth after photos of the $100,000 property and its Budweiser beer can decor went viral. The former owner, now deceased, made it “his life’s mission to wallpaper his home in beer cans, and he did it,” Kearney said. “He even created a crown molding look with the cans.” United Press International reported every wall and ceiling in the condo is covered with actual beer cans, except the bathroom. Kearney said the property is under contract with a backup offer.

The passing parade

Windermere, Florida, fifth-grader Ian Golba, 11, visited the principal’s office on Sept.

15 after his teacher asked him to remove his Hooters face mask. “She said it was not appropriate for school and I asked her why and she said if you really want to know why go ask the principal,” Ian told WESH. The principal at Sunset Park Elementary School backed up the teacher, asking Ian three times to remove the mask, which he did. But Greg

Golba, Ian’s dad, wants to know what the On Sept. 15, he came across a curious packproblem was. “I don’t think it’s offensive at age, “wrapped in aluminum foil, and around it, it had a pink rubber band,” he said. “Curiall. It’s just a restaurant,” Greg said. osity got to me, so I popped it open and it looked like a chicken breast,” but on closer Come again?

A man identifying himself as Jesus Christ inspection, he determined, “it was a brain.” appeared before Rickergate court in Carlisle, The package also contained flowers and paper England, on Sept. 15 after being arrested by with what appear to be Mandarin characters British Transport Police on suspicion that he printed on it. Senda called police, who turned did not buy a ticket to ride a train from Edin- the package over to the Racine County Medburgh to Carlisle. When asked to state a plea, ical Examiner’s Office and later announced the man replied, “There is a not guilty plea; I the brain was “not consistent with a human don’t need to plead,” the News & Star report- brain,” although they were still trying to detered. In response to a request for his address, mine what kind of animal it came from. he said: “No fixed abode, or Yellow House, Albion, Mauritius.” The bearded defendant Government in action wore a hood and a green blindfold throughOcean Township, New Jersey, listed the out his hearing; he was returned to custody as home of 89-year-old Glen Kristi Goldenprosecutors considered his case. thal for sale on Sept. 9, foreclosing on the property because Goldenthal owed 6 cents on back taxes from 2019. The tax shortfall Inexplicable Jimmy Senda of Racine, Wisconsin, takes a had accrued to more than $300, triggering walk along the beach on Lake Michigan every the sale, which alerted Goldenthal’s daughmorning, where he collects “sea glass and ran- ter, Lisa Suhay, in Virginia. NBC New York dom stuff — because I like to do artwork at reported the outraged Suhay began calling home with the stuff that I find,” he told FOX6. everyone in the township’s office to explain that her mother suffers from Alzheimer’s and

probably forgot about the bill. Suhay took care of the debt, but for her mother, “(T)his isn’t over ... She’s called me dozens of times in the last 24 hours,” asking about her house and where she’s going to live. Mayor Christopher Siciliano was apologetic, but Suhay remained incensed: “Shame on anybody who can’t think far outside the box enough to come up with six cents in an office full of people.”

Bright idea

A commuter boarded a bus between Swinton and Manchester, England, on Sept. 14 sporting what one fellow passenger thought was a “funky mask” until it started to move.

The face mask turned out to be a live snake, wrapped around the man’s neck and over his nose and mouth, the BBC reported. Another passenger took photos and posted them on Twitter, commenting “each to their own and all that.” “No one batted an eyelid,” another rider said. Transport for Greater Manchester, however, said in a statement that “snakeskin — especially when still attached to the snake” is not suitable for masks.

Visit newsoftheweird.com.

BEACH BUM FUN JONESIN’ CROSSWORDS BY MATT JONES

“Battle of the Alternative Bands” — predictions on who would win. [#464, Apr. 2010] Across 1 Maggie Gyllenhaal’s brother 5 Tallahassee’s st.

8 Earthy yellow shade 13 Fix text 14 “___ Boot” 15 Weasel out (on)

16 “You’d think Band A would hold up, but it’s flimsy. Band B wins” 19 Like some computer errors 20 Blood type for just over 6% of the U.S. pop.

21 They follow B

22 Unable to work, perhaps 24 CPR pro 26 Comp. storage sites 27 Forever, it seems 31 “Charter” tree 33 Diamond Head locale 35 “Band B wins, since Band A only has a tolerance for booze” 39 Wash against, as the shore 40 Cutesy-___ 41 Four Holy Roman Emperors 43 “Drop Band A on Band B? Band B wins, no contest” 46 1920s design style 47 Suffix for orange or lemon 48 Gaelic tongue 49 “Ben-___” (movie classic) 51 Shaker ___, OH 53 Furthest degree 55 Fertile Crescent locale

9/17

SEACOAST SCENE | SEPTEMBER 24 - 30, 2020 | PAGE 22

57 Golfer Aoki 59 Did some diamond inspecting?

64 “Band B wins, because it’s pointy and doesn’t digest well” 67 Early actress Langtry 68 Dir. opp. WNW 69 “Scientific American Frontiers” host Alan 70 Didn’t dine out 71 “Slippery When ___” (Bon Jovi album) 72 Spotted

Down 1 Constantly napping member of The Wiggles 2 Song from Sarah McLachlan’s “Surfacing” 3 Highland Games garb 4 “At Last” blues singer ___ James 5 Prez on the dime 6 Kitschy ‘70s plug-ins 7 Part of AARP 8 “___ the fields we go ...”

9 “Mad Money” network 10 Job search insider 11 Spurred (on) 12 Hull wreckers 15 Stringy cleaner 17 Footballer Manning 18 “Isn’t that something?”

23 ___ Lobos 25 California/Nevada attraction

27 The whole thing 28 Burrito add-on, for short 29 Fashionable sandal 30 Drive-thru drink with a plastic dome 32 Villainous surname in the Super Mario Bros. series 34 Request to the dealer 36 Manufacturer of electronics for kids 37 What automobile interiors may drown out 38 Geologic time periods 42 Sault ___ Marie Canals 44 Candle type 45 He might heal your hamster 49 “Se ___ español” 50 “___ wisely” 52 Reptilian warning 54 Clueless response 56 Obesity drug Orlistat, over the counter 58 Not too many 60 Business degs.

61 Classic arcade game ___ Position 62 “The Neverending Story” author Michael 63 Jimmy of meat products 65 Half of an eternal balance 66 Movie studio filming site © 2010, 2020 Matt Jones

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