12/21/17

DEC. 21, 2017 - JAN. 10, 2018

New Year’s Eve entertainment

P34

Adventures in helicoptering

P18 Holiday shopping map P20 - P21

FRE E

MAP P . 16

Your guide to outdoor recreation on the coast

A WORD FROM LARRY

Master McGrath’s

Join Chucky, and thank you It’s time for Freezin’ for Reason 2017! Join Chucky’s Fight against Substance Abuse on Saturday, Dec. 30, at 10 a.m. under the Hampton Bridge, on the Seabrook side. They will hit the Larry Marsolais waves at 10:30 a.m. and all donations are accepted. Warm up with Chucky’s award-winning chili, peppers and sausages or hot dogs and beans.

Attendees will also receive a goodie bag, dog tag and seashell dish. Funds will go to helping those in recovery enter sober living. Visit chuckysfight.com With the end of 2017 coming up, I want to say it has been an outstanding year for the Seacoast Scene. As 2018 approaches, the bi-monthly will continue through

Rte. 107 Seabrook NH

Dining & Pub

Sandwiches • Burgers • Pizza Steaks • Seafood • BBQ

Thursday Night Karaoke!

March 22; starting April 12, the weekly issues will start up again.

We have an amazing staff and I want to thank each and every one of them for their hard work and dedication to publishing the best product that they can! I also want to take this time to thank all of our advertisers and our readers for a wonderful 2017!

Get ready for another great year with the Seacoast Scene.

Feel free to call me anytime at 603-9355096 to discuss local issues or to place an ad. Happy holidays from all of us at The Seacoast Scene!

Larry Marsolais is the general manager of the Seacoast Scene and the former president of the Hampton Rotary Club.

Come have some fun!

Breakfast Served

DEC. 21, 2017 - JAN. 10, 2018 VOL 42 NO 36

Sat & Sun 8am-2pm

Advertising Staff

Larry Marsolais Seacoast Scene General Manager 603-935-5096 larry@seacoastscene.net

Our Gift Certificates make great Stocking Stuffers!

Chris Karas 603-969-3032 chris@seacoastscene.net Linda Kovalik 603-915-3027 linda@seacoastscene.net

Editorial Staff

Friday Night Special Fried Clam Plate Saturday Night Prime Rib Special

Editor Meghan Siegler editor@seacoastscene.net Editorial Design Ashley McCarty Contributors Rob Levey, Ethan Hogan, Michael Witthaus, Stefanie Phillips, Jeff Mucciarone

King Cut (16oz) • Queen Cut (10oz)

Seafood • • • • • • •

Shrimp Scampi Baked Haddock Surf & Turf Lobster Pie Fresh Scallops Jumbo Shrimp Seafood Saute

Hot Box

Marinated Steak Tips Petite fillet Mignon English Fish & Chips Basket of Fried Chicken Baked Luncheon Scrod Master’s Chopped Sirloin And more!

Steak & Chops • • • • •

Production

Kristen Lochhead, Tristan Collins, Laura Young

Steak Tips Fillet Mignon NY Sirloin Chicken Parm Pork Chops

Circulation Manager

Doug Ladd, 625-1855, Ext. 135 dladd@hippopress.com Have an event or a story idea for the Seacoast Scene? Let us know at: editor@seacoastscene.net

Takeout Available | Visit our website for entertainment

603.474.3540

www.MasterMcGraths.com SEACOAST SCENE | DECEMBER 21, 2017 - JANUARY 10, 2018 | PAGE 2

Unsolicited submissions are not accepted and will not be returned or acknowledged.

Unsolicited submissions will be destroyed.

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COVER STORY 6 Winter fun

MAPPED OUT 16 Beaches, restrooms, where to walk your dog and more

PEOPLE & PLACES 17 The coolest Seacoast dwellers and scenes

FOOD 24 Eateries and foodie events

POP CULTURE 32 Books, art, theater and classical

NITE LIFE 34 Music, comedy and more

BEACH BUM FUN 35 Puzzles, horoscopes and crazy news Your weekly guide to the coast.

Published every Thursday (1st copy free; 2nd $1).

Seacoast Scene PO Box 961 Hampton NH 03843 603-935-5096 | www.seacoastscene.net

12/31/18)

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4 SHORE THINGS

EVENTS TO CHECK OUT DECEMBER 21, 2017 - JANUARY 10, 2018, AND BEYOND Last chance for gingerbread house viewing

Vaudeville

From Dec. 26 through Dec. 30, Pontine Theatre presents a host of New Vaudeville performers at its annual Zest Fest New Vaudeville Festival. Each show features a different exciting performer. Performances are offered at 2 p.m. at Seacoast Science Center at Odiorne State Park, 570 Ocean Boulevard in Rye. Zest Fest features family-friendly shows. This year’s performers include BJ Hickman (Dec. 26 and Dec. 28), Steve Corning (Dec. 27), John and Rebecca Higby’s The YoYo Show (Dec. 29) and Bryson Lang (Dec. 30). Tickets are $15 and may be purchased atpontine.org. Tickets may also be purchased at the door a half-hour prior to each show. Contact Pontine at info@ pontine.org or 603-436-6660.

Discover Portsmouth (10 Middle St., Portsmouth, 436-8433, portsmouthhistory.org) is holding its annual gingerbread house contest exhibit through Dec. 23 from 9:30 a.m. to 5 p.m. each day in the first-floor gallery. Each house was created by local businesses, artists, families and kids. The deadline to vote for your favorite house has passed, but the display is still free and open to public viewing as part of the Portsmouth Historical Society’s Vintage Christmas celebration.

Seacoast Rep shows

See the Winter Wonderettes perform iconic ’60s versions of classic holiday tunes through Sunday, Dec. 31, at the Seacoast Repertory Theatre, 125 Bow St., Portsmouth. Tickets cost $15 to $38. The Rep is also showing The Rocky Horror Picture Show at midnight on Christmas night, Monday, Dec. 25, and on New Year’s Eve night, Sunday, Dec. 31. The campy cult classic follows a couple who, after getting a flat tire during a storm, winds up in the mansion of a transvestite scientist and his eccentric comrades. Tickets cost $20 to $25.

Visit seacoastrep.org or call 433-4472.

Images of Nepal

Meet Hampton Falls resident Scott Faiia and visit Nepal through his beautiful photographs.

He will be at the Hampton Falls Free Library on Tuesday, Jan. 9, at 6:30 p.m. (snow date: Tuesday, Jan. 16, at 6:30 p.m.). The library is located at 7 Drinkwater Road in Hampton Falls. Visit hamptonfallslibrary.org or call 603-926-3682.

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SEACOAST SCENE | DECEMBER 21, 2017 - JANUARY 10, 2018 | PAGE 6

By Rob Levey

It may be cold and snowy, but that doesn’t mean you need to be stuck inside all winter. There’s plenty of fun to be had outside this season, as the greater Seacoast region is full of outdoor recreational opportunities for people of all ages. You can go sledding, snowshoeing or cross-country skiing right in your own backyard. Travel a little farther for groomed snowmobile trails. Try something new and hop on a fat bike.

Or, if you’d prefer to sit still and stay warm, build a bonfire for cozier fun.

According to Philbrick, there are many places people can go cross-country skiing, go snowshoeing or ride a fat bike (more on that later) in the area, including Stratham Hill Park in Stratham and Kingman Farm in Madbury.

“You also have Mt. Agamenticus in York [Maine] and there are new trails popping up all over the place in the Greenland and Stratham area,” he said.

“Northwood Meadows is great, too.”

According to Sally Gregory, adventure coordinator at New Heights in Portsmouth and Exeter, the greater Seacoast region features many outdoor winter recreational opportunities that sometimes go under people’s radars.

“Snowshoeing and cross-country skiing are great at Odiorne Point State Park in Rye and the Urban Forestry Center in Portsmouth,” she said. “I haven’t been

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to Vaughn Woods or Wells Estuary in Maine in a long while, but they are good, too. … Mt. Agamenticus is good, but probably a bit aggressive for a beginner.”

According to Nat Morgan, who works with Gregory, Powderhouse Hill in South Berwick is another great option with sledding, snowboarding and skiing (three trails with 175 feet of vertical elevation).

“Wagon Hill [in Durham] is the classic sledding hill around here,” he said.

The beach is another option for outdoor winter recreation, according to Gregory.

“Immediately after a fresh snowfall, you can’t beat cross-country skiing on the beach at low tide,” she said. ‘It melts quickly due to salt and rising tide, so get out there quickly.”

For Philbrick, there is nothing quite like traversing over new-fallen snow where no one has previously trod. For families, he said snowshoeing is your best bet 8

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SEACOAST SCENE | DECEMBER 21, 2017 - JANUARY 10, 2018 | PAGE 7

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“You don’t need special snowshoes to get out there,” he said. “One size can fit all--and you can use them everywhere.”

Philbrick means everywhere, too.

“You can blaze your own trail on a golf course, a backyard, anywhere,” he said.

He said the same can also be said for those with cross-country and/or nordic skis. For him personally — and he suggests people try this on their own — there is nothing quite like snowshoeing at night.

“Go on a full moon night at around 8 pm,” he said. “You don’t need headlamps. It’s a very neat experience. It’s the most fun thing to just get away from house and street lights.”

Other places in and around the Seacoast include Garrison Park (Dover) and Amesbury Sports Park, which both offer opportunities for sledding and snowboarding. On the Dover Community Trail or in the Hampton Town Forest (White’s Lane), one can snowshoe, ski or ride a fat bike.

Outside in Exeter

The USS Albacore was a research submarine, designed by the Navy to test experimental features used in modern submarines. Today Albacore has been preserved and opened to the public.

Tours through Albacore are self-guided. As you walk through the ship, a series of audio stations highlight Albacore’s unique features.

Recordings by former crew members tell something of the daily life aboard the sub.

Adults: $7 | Children ages 7-17: $3 | 7 & Under: FREE! | Active Duty: FREE | Retired Military: $4

600 Market Street | Portsmouth, NH | 603.436.3680 | ussalbacore.org Hours: 9:30am-4:00pm, Last Ticket Sold at 3:30pm 117640 SEACOAST SCENE | DECEMBER 21, 2017 - JANUARY 10, 2018 | PAGE 8

This quaint historic town alone is a veritable haven when it comes to yearround outdoor recreational opportunities.

Trails are in particular abundance with most, if not all, providing ample opportunities for hiking with spikes, snowshoeing or riding.

You could start your adventure at Phillips Exeter Academy, which features 7-plus miles of easily navigable trails for people of all ages. This trail system is very close to trails at Gilman Park, which is beautiful and perfect for individuals interested in sauntering about rather than a hardcore physical challenge..

For those looking for a brief sojourn into nature with their snowshoes or cross-country skis, Kristen Murphy, Nat-

ural Resource Planner for the Town of Exeter, cited Raynes Farm Field, Morrissette or the McDonnell Conservation Area as perfect.

“In February, Acidotic Racing typically hosts a snowshoe race in the Town Forests, too,” she said.

According to Murphy, other outdoor recreational opportunities in Exeter include sledding at the Exeter Country Club or skating at Brickyard Pond.

For people looking for something a bit more technical, look no further than Fort Rock, which collectively refers to Henderson-Swasey Town Forest in Exeter and Oakland Town Forest in Newfields.

This extensive trail system is especially popular for bike riders.

Protected by the Southeast Land Trust of New Hampshire, Kimball Reserve (Exeter) and Piscassic Greenway (Newfields and Newmarket) are also great spots. other popular destinations for outdoor enthusiasts. At the Piscassic Greenway, Byrne Trail is open to mountain biking, snowmobiling and snowshoeing.

At both locations, you are also going to see some wildlife, including birds, turtles and other animals.

To learn more about Exeter and its various trail systems and natural resources, visit exeternh.gov/bcc/trail-maps.

Snowmobiling

For snowmobile enthusiasts, it’s worth a trip a little farther inland to the Rockingham Recreational Trail, a 26.5-mile trail that runs all the way to Manchester with its eastern trailhead located in Newfields. Relatively flat, the trail takes people through mostly wooded settings but occasionally makes its way through high-walled cuts blasted through granite.

According to Tom Bassett, president of Newfields Sno-Raiders, which is part of the New Hampshire Snowmobile 10

NH School of Mechanical Trades

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opens second location in the NH Seacoast NHSMT has just broken ground on their second location in Hampton, NH. The new location will include state of the art classrooms and hands on working labs. Classes are expected to begin fall 2018 and student enrollment is already underway.

John W. Duff and his business partner Dean Millard are both lifelong tradesmen. They owned a heating company for approximately 30+ years and taught oil heating at a trade school in Massachusetts for 25 to 28 years. In 2012, they opened The New Hampshire School of Mechanical Trades in Manchester NH, the “first of its kind” in the state. The 12,000 square foot educational facility is exclusively devoted to the trades in the areas of Oil and Gas Heating, Plumbing, Electrical, HVAC and more. There are six fully outfitted classrooms and six Hands-On fully functioning working labs, providing students with classroom theory and a “real life” hands on experience.

NHSMT has just broken ground on their second location in Hampton, NH. The new location will include state of the art classrooms and hands on working labs.

Classes are expected to begin early summer, and student enrollment is already underway.

“We absolutely believe that this unique educational experience will allow our students to gain a broader, in depth understanding of the course material. We are fully committed to providing the very best educational experience taught by the very best instructors in their respective trades.”- Dean Millard Careers in the trades offer promising opportunities.

With baby boomers aging out of electrical, oil tech-

“We absolutely believe that this unique educational experience will allow our students to gain a broader, in depth understanding of the course material. We are fully commitnician, plumbing, and ted to providing the very best educational experience taught by the very best instrucHVAC positions, detors in their respective trades.”- Dean Millard mand for skilled work-

force is stronger than ever. The Economic and Labor Market Information Bureau, NH Employment and Security projects an increase of 10.8% in jobs for electricians in 2024 and 7.2% increase in job openings for plumbers.

Most entry-level courses at NH School of Mechanical Trades are 15-week courses providing the necessary knowledge and training that will enable students to seek employment in the trade community in a short period of time. The typical class schedule is 2 nights weekly, 3-4 hours each night. The Manchester location is now offering classes in the evening or daytime.

Education and training is just the beginning. NH School of Mechanical Trades has been successful working with businesses to assist with their employment needs and job placement for students, both graduates and apprenticeships.

Course enrollment costs are affordable NHSMT provides flexible payment options, only a small down payment is needed to secure a spot in any class with small weekly payments.

“We offer an opportunity with virtually no financial risk.

We will work with anyone who desires a chance to better their lives and the lives of their families with a new and exciting career in the trades regardless of their financial situation. Furthermore, we allow any student who failed to meet our standards for successful completion or who may have been dissatisfied for any reason to return and retake the course free of charge. Again, this demonstrates our level of commitment to each of our students.” - Dean MIllard

10.8% 7.2% 1.6%

Careers in the trades offer promising opportunities.

With baby boomers aging out of electrical, plumbing and HVAC positions, demand for skilled workforce is stronger than ever.

The Economic and Labor Market Information Bureau, NH Employment and Security projects an increase of 10.8% in jobs for electricians in 2024 and 7.2% increase in job openings for plumbers.

Get more information at nhtradeschool.com Reach Gina Millard (gina@nhsmt.com) with any questions or to schedule a tour in Manchester, NH.

Course enrollment costs are affordable

NHSMT provides flexible payment options, only a small down payment is needed to secure a spot in any class with small weekly payments.

“We offer an opportunity with virtually no financial risk. We will work with anyone who desires a chance to better their lives and the lives of their families with a new and exciting career in the trades regardless of their financial situation. Furthermore, we allow any student who failed to meet our standards for successful completion or who may have been dissatisfied for any reason to return and retake the course free of charge. Again, this demonstrates our level of commitment to each of our students.” Dean MIllard

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8 Association, they groom this trail approximately 3 times per week once the snow starts falling.

“We groom the trail from Rockingham Junction off Ash Swamp Road [in Newfields] to Exit 3 on Route 101 in Candia with our big groomer,” he said.

He said there are also several smaller trails that lead off Rockingham Recreational Trail. For these trails, Tom and other volunteers use a smaller groomer.

According to Dan Gould, NHSA president, one of the neatest things about Newfields Sno-Raiders and all their clubs is the fact they are run entirely by volunteers. In total, there are more than 7,000 miles of snowmobile trails maintained in the state.

“We work with landowners a lot of the time,” he said. “Ninety percent of the trails are on private land, so a huge part of what we do is a grassroot effort to build relationships with landowners.”

Ice Fishing Spots There are several places where you can try your hand at ice fishing along the Seacoast.

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• Squamscott River is one popular ice fishing spot with several ice fishing shacks set up near Phillips Exeter Academy’s boathouse in downtown Exeter.

• Northwood Lake (Northwood) is a bit more inland but is known as a great fishing spot in the winter.

• You might also want to try Colcord Pond, Waterworks Pond, Brickyard Pond, which are all located in Exeter.

• Willand Pond in Dover is easy to access with plenty of parking.

• Just past Dover in Madbury, Bellamy Reservoir is known for great ice fishing.

For questions on these or other spots, visit wildlife.state.nh.us.

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While you explore our retail shop, watch potters spinning pots and decorators decorating. See racks of pots wheeling by hot out of the kiln. Our staff proudly produces an American tradition and local favorite, perfect for holiday giving or to decorate your home.

The shelves of our factory store are brimming with new patterns, old favorites and one-of-a-kind pieces that make each visit to the pottery exciting. Our seconds room offers terrific values.

The folks here at Salmon Falls join me in wishing you all the happiness of the holidays and joy in the New Year!

SEACOAST SCENE | DECEMBER 21, 2017 - JANUARY 10, 2018 | PAGE 10

Owner

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Noting there are more than 100 clubs in the state with each charged to maintain trails either in one town or several, Gould said they are all “boots on the ground” individuals. In commenting on the logistics of their various operations, he said their biggest challenge is most likely in the southern and eastern part of the state, where economic development is highest.

“It can be a challenge,” he acknowledged. “It can be tricky to keep a trail intact with all the development that’s taking place.”

As a whole system, however, these trails are intact, which means people can ride from the northern edges of the Seacoast all the way to Canada. According to Bassett, he himself has ridden to The Balsams, a trip he estimated took roughly 14 hours.

“The speed limit is 45 miles per hour, but you need to go slower in some places,” he said.

As for what attracts him to snowmobiling, Bassett said he simply likes being out in the woods. “If you drive slow, you see wildlife,” he added. “It is beautiful and gorgeous.”

According to Gould, most people first get into the sport of snowmobiling by hopping on board a friend’s snowmobile.

Often hooked on the experience, he said they then they tend to buy a used snowmobile, which he noted starts at around $3,500 to $4,000 and is probably around 6 or 8 years old.

“You can be a newer used sled for $6,000 with a new sled around $8,000,” he said. “Top-of-the-line sleds go for over $14,000.”

These price points are not all that people will find on the market, however, as Gould noted you can purchase “cheaper sleds.”

“I just bought one for my son for $400 that’s perfect for the local trail system,” he said. “You can get in for $1,000 12

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10 or less if you don’t mind tinkering. … Snowmobiling is a great way for the family to just get out there and explore.

The incredibly interesting part is that you can get to place you just can’t get to any way else.”

For more information about trails suited for snowmobile use in the region, visit newfieldssnoraiders.org.

A new trail experience

If you want to explore your local trails but prefer to stay off snowshoes, skis and snowmobiles, jump on a bike with extremely fat tires.

Known as “fat bikes,” these behemoths are generally equipped with tires that are between 4” and 5” wide.

According to George Philbrick, owner of Philbrick’s Sports in Dover, fat bikes enable riders to traverse over snow-covered trails with ease.

“Fat bikes are a really hot item right now,” he said. “They are great in mixed conditions like snow and ice...They are a different type of bike to ride.”

Noting Fort Rock is great for traversing trails on a fat bike, he said these bikes provide a different challenge than one provided by a suspension mountain bike.

“The tire size allows it to absorb the terrain,” he said. “The traction is incredible. The tires suck up the roots and the

rocks. They are also good for sand.”

In the winter, though, fat bikes provide riders of varying abilities with the opportunity to experience trails in ways that were previously impossible, according to Philbrick.

“They are just fantastic in the winter,” he said. “The trails could have a lot of snow, or be melting with some bare ground, and fat bikes cruise all over them.”

Citing Stratham Hill Park as proba-

bly the best place for taking a fat bike, he said other trail systems have become somewhat sensitive about this mode of recreation given its ability to “tear a trail up.”

“You want to be respectful,” he said.

“A lot of these trails have other users and private landowners … these are shared trails.”

Nat Morgan, adventure programmer at New Heights in Portsmouth and Exeter, agrees and said proper trail etiquette is

crucial with fat bikes.

“Basic trail etiquette says that cyclists should stop for everyone on foot and downhill traffic should yield to uphill traffic,” he said. “Always use common sense — letting others know when you’re passing them is always a good idea, too.”

For those concerned that fat bikes may be difficult to ride, Philbrick said nothing could be further from the truth.

“They are not hard to pedal over any surface — even pavement,” he said. “It’s much different than you might expect.

They just roll over stuff. They provide a lot of traction, especially in the winter. A lot of our cyclists might not be big winter people, but they are falling in love with these fat bikes. You just dress a little warmer in the winter.”

To learn more about fat bikes, or rent them out at $50/day, visit philbricks. com.

Warm up with a bonfire

According to Doug Aykroyd, past Scoutmaster for 24 years with Troop 177 in Hampton and now assistant Scoutmaster, there are very clear and definitive steps to building a successful campfire or bonfire. He shared his tips.

Make sure you have a safe area: Clear the ground of leaves and 14

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11am – 5pm Multi-dealer shop

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Seabrook Beach, NH

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Open Thursday-Friday 3-8pm | Saturday-Sunday 8am-2pm

12 small sticks and stuff like that.

Consider what might be above, too, especially if it is a bonfire and you are not just roasting marshmallows. You should have a clearance of 10 to 15 feet high.

Make sure you have enough water to put out the fire when it is no longer needed or starts to get out of control. Take steps to minimize the effects of having a fire on the site. You do not want to leave any trace of your fire after you leave the area.

Gather your wood: You want to start with tinder, fine sticks like you will find on the ends of dead pine boughs.

You want something dry and long dead — not something with green or browning needles. If it snaps between your fingers, it’s good. Wood that has fallen from the tree but is still hung up in the tree is good. Birch bark is excellent to get your fire going as well. You will also want kindling. These sticks may be as thin as pencils or somewhat larger than your thumb. It needs to be dry. Finally, you will need the larger pieces of wood which will provide the heat and coals you are looking for.

Build your fire: I make a base of two pieces of a log 18 to 24 inches long that has been quartered. You can split logs with an axe. You don’t want wood that is not split, because the bark acts as an insulator. I put the base logs 6 inches apart with flat sides on the ground and facing each other. I place the birch bark and tinder between the two logs on the end closer to me. Place two more quartered wood pieces perpendicular to the base above the tinder and add more tinder and kindling between them. This procedure is repeated four or five times.

At this point, you have built a log cabin fire lay. I start with finger size sticks and leave them across the logs. I then put larger sticks on top of that. You essentially start with dry stuff the size of your thumb and then progressively larger.

Light the fire: Once lit with a match or lighter, the flame will go up, heating up the sticks and drying out and igniting the bigger things above it. You can build a log cabin as high as you want — just keep putting tinder and then kindling in the middle.

According to Aykroyd, the patience required to build “a log cabin” will more than pay for itself.

“It takes time and patience, but this process works. Shortcuts are often paths to failure. You can’t just light a log with a match. This is the method I use when we do the pig roast in Hampton. Within three or four minutes from the time that I light the tinder, I have three fires 4 to 6 feet high.”

How to dress for the weather To stay warm in the winter, Nat Morgan, adventure programmer at New Heights, said layering is essential.

“It is all about non-cotton layers, starting with a tight base layer — think long underwear or Under Armour — with each layer being a bit baggier than the last,” he said. “This creates little air pockets that will help insulate you against the outside cold.”

On windy days, he suggests having a windproof layer on top — a rain jacket or winter shell — that will help keep the wind from cutting through your warm layers and sucking the warmth out of you.

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The Scene’s

Coastal Map

1

1A Portsmouth

Public beaches, parks and walking trails. Brought to you by:

Pierce Island

South Mill Pond

New Castle

Great Island Common

1A

95

Odiorne Point Rye

Rye Town Forest

111

Wallis Sands

111 101

27

Jenness Beach Fuller Gardens

Exeter

1

Gilman Park

108

Rye Harbor

North Hampton

Sawyers Beach

Hampton

27

1A

North Hampton State Beach Plaice Cove

150

101E

Burrows-Brookside Sanctuary

North Beach Hampton Beach State Park

Seabrook

Hampton Harbor Seabrook Beach Salisbury Beach Ghost Trail

286

286

Salisbury State Reservation

Eastern March Trail

Salisbury

Key

Places to walk your dog Scenic Overlooks Public Restrooms Beaches

95

Plum Island

Harbor

Newburyport

Boardwalk

1

Come One, Come All for the

HAPPY HOUR SPECIALS! 3pm-6pm Monday – Friday

Open for Food & Drinks

EVERY DAY TIL 1AM! Sunday 10pm to close

$6 Appetizers • $6 Wines • $5 Cocktails • $4 Craft Beers • $2 Beers

We serve food till 1am 7 days a week

GO CLIPPER PRIDE!!

75 PLEASANT ST. | PORTSMOUTH, NH | 603.501.0109 | CLIPPERSTAVERNPORTSMOUTH.COM | FOLLOW US ON FACEBOOK & INSTAGRAM! SEACOAST SCENE | DECEMBER 21, 2017 - JANUARY 10, 2018 | PAGE 16

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11 BIG SCREEN TV’S

PEOPLE AND PLACES

JOSH DIRKSEN SKATEBOARDING CHAMP always fun because the scene for skateboarding there is really good and I know a lot of people out there. This time I got to meet different people in the industry.

Josh Dirksen won first place in the Vans and World Cup Skateboarding Ametur Combi Pool Classic in Orange, California. Josh is 17 and attends Winnacunnet High School in Hampton, where he grew up.

How long have you been skateboarding and what drew you to it?

I’ve been skateboarding for nine years now. We had a skateboard in the garage that was sitting there and my mom asked me, ‘Hey, are you going to use that?’ [She said] she’d get rid of it if not and give it to someone that would. So I said I’d try it and she got me some lessons at Rye Airfield and then I just got hooked on it.

I think I was really drawn to it because I was playing soccer and baseball at the time and there were certain things you had to do and it wasn’t as creative. With skating, you can kind of do it whenever, wherever and be really creative and sporadic about it. I think that was more fun and interesting to me especially when I was younger. So I went that route instead of playing team sports.

Did you meet friends through skateboarding?

Probably half or more of my friends I’ve met through skateboarding. But back then, I probably had one or two friends that were kind of getting into it too. I met more and more people the longer I kept skating.

When did you realize that you could compete in skateboarding?

I remember seeing recap videos of contests and they looked really fun. I think I looked at it as, ‘I’m not that far off from that. I could probably end up doing that contest.’ I wanted to travel and go to the different contests so that motivated me and I worked harder to get better to be at that level. From talking to people and as I made different connections I ended up getting the invites.

Tell me about the Combi Pool Classic. How did you get invited to compete?

I’ve probably known about it for four or five years because it’s all the amateur bowl skaters. All the best 15 and over and 14 and under go and compete. I was really drawn to it because it’s looked at as the gateway to a lot of the pro bowl

Est. 1973

Courtesy photo.

contests and that’s what I wanted to do eventually. So I thought I should try to skate that and do well in that. So I ended up talking to some friends and I met Don Bostick [the competition organizer] and he gave me some advice for what contests to do leading up to that. Then he gave me an invite to it. I skated that last year and again this year and ended up winning so I was pretty hyped.

Did you think you might win going into the event and what did it feel like when you did?

I knew it was possible but I wasn’t expecting it. Everyone there is really good, especially in the 15 and over division. It’s a pretty even field. There’s different styles of skating but a lot of it comes down to who can put it together best during the contest. My goal was Top 5 or Top 3 and I really wanted to win but there’s so many good people there.

So I didn’t have it completely out of the picture, but I didn’t think I was going to win. It came down to the last run and my friend Hercules did a really good run so I knew I had to do a better run than my first run. I put together the run that I wanted to on the last run, so I was super hyped.

Tell me about the people you met at the competition and what it was like to be out there.

A lot of the people there I’d known from past contests so it’s like a big reunion. It’s cool to be able to hang out with everyone. Traveling to California is

Where is your favorite place to skateboard?

I like to skate everywhere. Rye Airfield is where I skate the most because they have everything and they are really nice there and it’s like a family. That’s where I learned everything. That place is really important to me because it’s where I started skating. As far as traveling to different parks, I like the Vans Combi Bowl in Orange, where the contest is. That’s super fun. Any park in Southern California is really good. They’re all super well-built and have good flow and transition.

Are you thinking about going to college? What are your plans after high school?

I’m definitely interested in going to college because I feel that’s important so I am going to do my best to balance that with skating. I think I’m going to go to college in California because I know a lot of people there and they have the best places to skate. I think [I will study] something to do with business because it can be applied to so many things.

Where do you see yourself in five years?

I’m not quite sure but hopefully living out in California and skating, hanging out with a good group of people. Hopefully I can have skating be my work — that’s the dream. Traveling to all the different contests around the world. Maybe working for a skateboard company part-time to make extra money to afford the traveling and whatnot. And keeping in touch with my family and visiting back and forth.

— Ethan Hogan Know someone awesome?

If you know someone in the community who is doing great things, the Scene wants to know!

Send your suggestions to editor@ seacoastscene.net and your favorite cool person might end up on this Get To Know... page!

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SEACOAST SCENE | DECEMBER 21, 2017 - JANUARY 10, 2018 | PAGE 17

ADVENTURE

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By Ethan Hogan Where I went: Seacoast Helicopter Tours (44 Durham St., Portsmouth, seacoasthelos. com) What it is: A 30-minute tour of Portsmouth with a once-in-a-lifetime view of downtown, the harbor and Maine and New Hampshire’s shoreline. Tours start at $69 per person and vary in views, length and cost.

My experience: The frame of the helicopter shakes under our seats as my friend Bridget and I look at each other, wide-eyed, in anticipation. Once the engines get up to speed and the propeller blurs above us, the shaking smooths out into a light hum. Our pilot, Julie, pulls on the stick and suddenly the ground is dropping away below us.

I’d never been in a helicopter before and my airborne experience was limited to a small plane at the Nashua airport when I was younger. I was pretty scared because I’d heard that helicopters are much less stable than planes. Bridget said she wasn’t scared, but the look in her eyes while the engines turned on wasn’t a purely excited one.

As our helicopter lifted off the ground and we rose above the airport, the world around us became a moving map of a town, with little cars and trucks driving along on their little roads. The trees got small, like little alpine spikes coming out of the snow. I saw the mailman’s car parked on a cul de sac.

Julie pointed to the north as she told us

Bridget and I waiting to jump inside the helicopter.

how uncommonly clear the sky was today.

We followed her finger to the edge of the map. Mount Washington stood fixed on the horizon like a cloud city overseeing the lands that rested beneath it. Its white peaks were clearly visible and its summit met the horizon at an impossibly far away distance.

The mystical view of the mountain started to scare me as we turned inward to a jolly view of downtown Portsmouth, with its snow-laden rooftops and its church steeple marking the town’s center.

The helicopter felt like it was mostly made of glass because the front windshield was so large and curved down to our feet.

In the back seats, Bridget had windows on either side of her and a moon roof above, to see the propeller blur overhead. We all wore headsets so we could hear each other over the engine.

We pulled away from the bustling winter town toward the branches of the Piscataqua River that encroached inland from the Atlantic.

Julie told us about the bridges and how they lifted their center to let boats and ships

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A view of the Wentworth by the Sea from the cockpit.

SEACOAST SCENE | DECEMBER 21, 2017 - JANUARY 10, 2018 | PAGE 18

of varying sizes into the port and farther up the river. We flew over the infamous naval prison, which stood like a castle facing the sea as our flying machine moved past it.

As we got closer to the shore, the land gave way to hundreds of inlets and rivers that swirled the geology below us. We were struck by the clarity of the water, which let us see see the gradient of greens and blues of the ocean floor. Mini islands and tendrils of land licked out into the brackish water.

Then the ocean itself came into view as Julie positioned us to look down shore. I watched as a small boat slid through the silver water that glistened with a soft matte finish. The boat’s wake met the rocks of a regal lighthouse-island that remained confidently planted in the sea.

Julie took us briefly over Maine, where she turned the helicopter around to face the shoreline. Below us, the island town of New Castle looked quiet and uninhabited. The orange roofs and white structure of the Wentworth by the Sea stood out in the snow. Ahead of us now was the nation’s shortest coastline, doing its best to stand out under the golden winter sun.

As we headed back to the airport, we passed by some familiar sights we’d seen on the way out. I never felt too uneasy on the ride, except at first when I hadn’t gotten used to the view. Eventually, my eyes adjusted and I could take in the sights.

Coming back down to earth was humbling and almost as jarring as leaving it.

Bridget and I smiled at each other as we got out; we’d just had our minds blown.

We hadn’t expected New Hampshire’s coast to have such a dynamic range of landscapes. Between the many islands and the clear water, it was like we’d visited another place.

Who should try this: You should try this if you’re not scared of heights — or you are, but are daring enough to try it for the sake of the amazing views.

— Ethan Hogan

CAR TALK

The moral of this story: Salesmen don’t always know Dear Car Talk: I recently purchased a 2017 Honda CR-V Touring Edition with a four-cylinder turbo engine. The salesman said to let the car run for a full two minutes

By Ray Magliozzi before and after driving it, to let the turbo heat up and cool down. My brother-in-law is a mechanic. He’s worked on cars all his life, and he said he’s never heard of this. I don’t want to hurt the car by not following the dealer’s instructions; however, I don’t like adding unnecessary gas emissions into the atmosphere either. Not to mention wasting my time. Since my drive to work is half a mile and most of my driving is in town within a two-mile radius of home, I feel the car is idling more than I’m actually driving it.

For longer trips, I don’t have a problem with the two-minute cool downs. What is your take on this? I look forward to your comments. — Bonnie You need to go to a hypnotist and forget you ever met this salesman, Bonnie.

All dealership employees are not equally knowledgeable. And salesmen are hired because they’re good at getting people

to buy cars, not because they necessarily know a lot about them. This guy had his headlight firmly implanted in his taillight socket.

In the very early days of commercially available turbos, in the 1970s and ‘80s, you were advised to let the car idle after it was run hard. That would allow the oil to circulate through the turbo and continue to cool it off before you shut off the engine.

The danger, in those days, was that if the turbo was too hot when you shut off the engine, the oil that was in it might dry up and get “coked,” blocking those oil passages like heart disease blocks your arteries. We did replace a bunch of coked turbos with 75,000 miles on them back in those days.

But that’s just not the case anymore.

Turbos are better and, perhaps more importantly, oils are better — particularly synthetic oils. And idling to cool the turbo just isn’t necessary at all now.

I mean, if you just finished climbing Pike’s Peak with two mothers-in-law in the back seat and a trunk full of rocks you stole from the National Parks, you might want to let the car idle for a minute before shutting it down. But for the other 364 days a year, just start the car and drive away,

and shut it off when you get to your destination. In fact, if you call the dealership and ask to speak the service manager rather than a salesman, that’s probably exactly what he’ll tell you.

So no more idling, Bonnie. Get out there and enjoy your life.

Dear Car Talk: Decades ago, when I took driver’s education, we were taught to carefully adjust each mirror before getting underway. I’ve noticed that on long trips, my rearview mirror eventually will move out of adjustment. This is something of a mystery to me.

Does my spine compress, or does the car just shake things out of adjustment? Or is there something else at work here? The same problem occurs on all cars I drive: The side mirrors are always OK, but the rearview mirror needs readjustment. This has bothered me for a while, and thought you might have some insight. Thank you!

— Brent Hm. You might have a case of “Mirror Droop,” Brent. This affects older cars where the ball and socket that hold the rearview mirror in place begin to fail and loosen up, and before you know it, you’re looking at that coffee stain on your right

pant leg.

But I’m guessing there’s another factor at work here, because I experience this too, even in newer cars. So I think the problem is related to FBSC — Fat Butt Seat Compression.

Here’s what happens: You get in the car, you’re alert, you’re sitting up straight, you set the mirrors and you drive off. And then ... you relax. You slouch a little bit. The seat compresses a little bit. And 10 minutes into your trip, the rearview mirror is adjusted too high, and you have to fix it.

The same thing is happening to the sideview mirrors, but you don’t notice the change there because they’re adjusted primarily for a side-to-side view, not up and down.

With the rearview mirror, you’re aiming more precisely to see out of one little sweet spot: the rear window. That’s a much narrower target. So when you drop down into your seat half an inch, or an inch, you really notice it.

So I think we just need to consider this phenomenon part of the human condition, Brent. And if Shakespeare were alive today, he’d probably lament it in “A Midsummer Night’s Droop.”

Visit Cartalk.com

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SEACOAST SCENE | DECEMBER 21, 2017 - JANUARY 10, 2018 | PAGE 19

Open year-round 7 days per week Free Pool - All Day, Every Day MA State Lottery: KENO - Scratch Tickets 5 HD TVs - TouchTunes Jukebox

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Q&A’S

Would you rather tell a loved one a lie or tell a stranger a hard truth?

“I think a hard truth to a stranger because telling a lie to a loved one hurts.”

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SEACOAST SCENE | DECEMBER 21, 2017 - JANUARY 10, 2018 | PAGE 22

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“Serenity. I think of the time we had on [a] sailboat with the sails open, and it was, like, Serenity Now.” WILLIE LEES OF TEXAS

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Q&A’S

“Zombies because they’re already dead. And because they just want to eat people.

With aliens, you never know.”

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SEACOAST SCENE | DECEMBER 21, 2017 - JANUARY 10, 2018 | PAGE 23

FOOD

AT HIDEAWAY PUB Bring your own food or order from an extensive selection of local eateries’ delivery menus at The Hideaway Pub (183 North End Boulevard, Salisbury, 978-462-2470), which sits a few blocks outside the main drag of Salisbury Beach. A true bar, the Hideaway does not have a kitchen, but it does provide plenty of food options in the form of delivery menus, along with an array of chips to choose from. Owned and operated by two sisters, the bar is often occupied by loyal locals who are friendly enough to buy a stranger a Keno ticket. Decorated for the season, the pub is a great place for a low-key postdinner date drink. Enjoy a festive cocktail by the Yuengling fireplace or in the rockabilly red leather chairs by the miniature white Christmas tree. Or sit at the bar and take part in a Massachusetts pastime: the Keno lottery. The game is described by owner Linda Somma as “adult bingo,” where for as little as a dollar you can sit in earnest anticipation, hoping for your numbers to come up as you sip on a Hot Cocoa Deluxe. The Scene sat down with Linda to learn more about the cozy nook.

How long has the Hideaway Pub been around?

We opened in June of 2012. The building freed up — there had been a bar here before and my sister and I had both been bartending part-time elsewhere and we both just thought, why don’t we open a bar? It was really just one of those ‘aha’ moments, so we bought and opened it together. We had a five-year plan, as we’re both interested in migrating south and so we’re kind of trying to stick to the plan. It’s been five and a half years, so we’ve decided that it’s time to put it on the market now and we’ll see what happens!

What makes the Hideaway Pub unique?

Well, we’re a big Keno-centric bar.

A lot of people play Keno here. It’s the Mass State Lottery, but it’s basically like adult bingo. You pick numbers and hope they come up on the screen. People love to watch that. We’re a local bar that has parking and a local crowd. It’s just such a local, cute pub; there really aren’t many cute pubs like ours. Plus, people can bring their own food or order from any one of the local delivery places, since we don’t have a kitchen.

What is your personal favorite drink?

People really like our Cappuccino Martini and our Creamsicle Martini, which is great for the summer. We have a whole list of winter specials as well, like the Coconut Hot Chocolate, Peppermint Hot Choco-

Hideaway Pub. Photos by Suzana Mihajlica.

SEACOAST SCENE | DECEMBER 21, 2017 - JANUARY 10, 2018 | PAGE 24

late, Snickerdoodle Hot Chocolate, or a Cocoa-tini.

What is something everyone should get?

You have to come in and try the Keno.

It’s such a Keno bar and it’s really fun — and you don’t win unless you play! There isn’t Keno yet in New Hampshire [ed. note: seven towns in New Hampshire now have Keno, as of Dec. 15] so we do get a lot of people coming over the border for that. Then once they’re here they tend to stay and have a couple of beers with the other locals. It’s very warm and friendly.

What is an essential skill to running a restaurant?

Well, I’d say you have to be hands on

and get to know your customer and to work the bar yourself. Here, there’s only one bartender on at a time; it’s nice. We have a day bartender, but at night, it’s either me or my sister. One of us is always here and we like that. We really get to know the people that come in that way.

What is your favorite part of being on the Seacoast?

Being so close to the ocean, being able to smell the salt in the air when you get out of the bar. The whole fun summer atmosphere. The summertime is just really crazy in a good way. You get your summer regulars and you get your renters so everyone is in a fun mood.

— Suzana Mihajlica

FOOD

Smoky Quartz Distillery Tasty food from fresh ingredients

Blue cheese I realize blue cheese is quite divisive.

It’s a strong, stinky cheese that is blue because of the mold in it. It doesn’t exactly sound appetizing, does it? Yet, I adore it! It’s flavorful, it’s interesting and I cannot get enough. Add Buffalo sauce to it and I am lost for good. There are several kinds of blue cheese all over this world, but for this column’s purpose you can just reach for the easiest to grab in your grocer’s freezer. Gorgonzola, Roquefort and Stilton are the most popular types. When you’re traveling the world and offered amazing blue cheese or you’re at a fancy restaurant and order charcuterie, be sure to get the good stuff!

Blue cheese is interesting because the mold has actually been grown in it purposefully. The cheese is perforated with needles that allow the mold to grow in the spaces. The mold is called penicillium and is related to the better-known penicillin that gave rise to the first antibiotics (thank you, Fine Dining Lovers’ website).

Buffalo chicken dip 1 chicken breast, cooked and shredded (use a large can of cooked chicken if you’re short on time) 2 bricks of cream cheese 1 cup blue cheese dressing 1 cup buffalo sauce 1 cup Blue cheese crumbles 1 cup shredded cheese of choice (something mild)

894 Lafayette Road (Rte. 1) Seabrook, NH 03874

(603) 474-4229 • smokyqd.com facebook.com/smokyquartzdistillery Located on Route 1 in Seabrook, NH. We are an artisan ‘grain to glass’ craft distillery using only the highest quality ingredients to distill truly exceptional “Small Batch” spirits.

I love to add blue cheese to salads as a complement to something sweet like candied walnuts or dried cranberries. It’s also great on burgers with bacon or with crackers and sweet preserves. I love it. As I alluded to above, I wave the white flag when it’s combined with Buffalo sauce.

While it’s not the classiest way to eat blue cheese, it sure does fit football season well! — Allison Willson Dudas Combine everything but the shredded cheese in a bowl, mixing together well.

Taste to see if the combo is right for you.

If you want it spicier, add more Buffalo sauce. If you’re overdosing on blue cheese, use ranch dressing instead! Pour into baking dish, probably a 9x9, and top with shredded cheese. Bake for 20 to 25 minutes or until golden brown. Serve hot with celery sticks, tortilla chips, carrots or crusty bread. Enjoy!

LIBEERATION FOR WOMEN The Portsmouth Brewery’s newly developed craft beer designed for women experiencing menopausal symptoms is receiving international attention and strong demand, leading to a second release on Dec. 1. Libeeration was initially released in October and sold out quickly. “It’s gratifying to see women enjoying Libeeration and celebrating this stage in life,” Portsmouth Brewery Co-owner Joanne Francis said. Libeeration is unique gruit style ale that is golden straw in color with light fruity, earthy flavors. It contains a combination of ingredients herbalists use to help women dealing with hormone shifts that come with age, including: Motherwort, Lemon Balm, Chamomile, Stinging Nettle, Mugwort, Rose, Chickweed, and Damiana with a dose of Saphir hops in the secondary fermentation which adds a pleasant tangerine note to the finish according to Head Brewer Matt Gallagher. Libeeration is available at The Portsmouth Brewery on draft and in bottles until it runs out. Visit portsmouthbrewery.com.

Local grain. American made.

Smokey Quartz is a Veteran Owned Distillery Visit us and tour our distillery in person & enjoy a complimentary sample of our Vodka, Whiskeys and Rum.

Available for purchase at our location, NH liquor stores, or your favorite bar or restaurant!

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SEACOAST SCENE | DECEMBER 21, 2017 - JANUARY 10, 2018 | PAGE 25

FOOD

SNOW

Ideas from off the shelf

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I took one bite of chicken made from this recipe and swore I’d never order Chinese takeout again. This recipe combines the sweetness of sesame chicken with a little bit of the kick from General Tso chicken and the salty goodness I associate with my favorite takeout. Served over rice, this chicken is the perfect no-fuss meal for a night when even ordering takeout seems like a lot of work.

This slow-cooker chicken is simple and pantry-friendly. I was able to substitute for ingredients I didn’t have, which made it possible to make dinner despite my bare pantry. Tossing everything in the slow cooker, my favorite winter-weather kitchen helper, made meal prep so simple I almost felt guilty accepting my husband’s compliments on the dish — almost.

The 1-to-1 ratio of soy sauce and honey provides a good base for the sauce: It’s neither too sweet nor too salty but packs enough flavor to layer on top more distinct ingredients like the ground ginger.

I’ve started keeping ginger in my freezer, taking it out and grating it whenever a recipe dictates. It’s saved me a lot of headache — I no longer skip recipes because I don’t have ginger on hand — and money, as I’m not throwing out ginger that has started to go bad.

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• Cava Tapas & Wine Bar (10 Commercial Alley, Portsmouth, 3191575, cavatapasandwinebar.com) is taking reservations for its annual eightcourse New Year’s Eve dinner, which will have seatings at 5:30 and 8:30 p.m. The cost is $95 per person.

• CR’s The Restaurant (287 Exeter Road, Hampton, 929-7972, crstherestaurant.com) will be hosting brunch from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. and dinner with an a la carte menu from 5

SEACOAST SCENE | DECEMBER 21, 2017 - JANUARY 10, 2018 | PAGE 26

There wasn’t rice wine vinegar or an onion to be found anywhere in my pantry, but apple cider vinegar and dried minced onion still relayed the flavors. A pinch of pepper rounded out the ingredients added to the chicken in my slow cooker before I set the heat and walked away. After a few hours of cooking, the chicken was ready to be sliced, and the juices poured into a Slow cooker honey teriyaki chicken Recipe courtesy of The Recipe Critic 4 boneless chicken breasts, about 2 pounds ½ cup soy sauce ½ cup honey ¼ cup rice wine vinegar ¼ cup onion, chopped 2 garlic cloves, minced ¼ teaspoon pepper ¾ teaspoon ground ginger ¼ cup water 3 tablespoons cornstarch Optional garnish: green onions, sesame seeds Spray your slow cooker with cooking spray and place the chicken breasts in the bottom.

to 6:30 p.m. A four-course dinner with a Champagne toast, party favors and live music will also be offered from 7 to 9:30 p.m. The cost is $95 per person.

• Epoch Restaurant (The Exeter Inn, 90 Front St., Exeter, 778-3762, epochrestaurant.com) will be serving its regular menu with specials.

• Martingale Wharf (99 Bow St., Portsmouth, 431-0901, martingalewharf.com) will be serving a special menu on New Year’s Eve. Live music performed by Rhythm Method will also be from 9:30 p.m. to 12:30 a.m. A $20 cover charge will include music, noisemakers and a full Champagne toast at midnight.

• The Old Salt (490 Lafayette Road, Hampton, 926-8322, oldsaltnh.com) will be serving brunch from 9 a.m. to 1:30 p.m. Menu items TBA. The cost will be $19.99.

• Roundabout Diner (580 Portsmouth Traffic Circle, Portsmouth, 431-1440, roundaboutdiner.com) will host its

sauce pan. I added the cornstarch and water mixture to the sauce, which thickened up quickly. Once poured back on top of the chicken, the sauce coated every piece of meat and provided that sticky, saucy goodness I associate with my go-to takeout dishes like sesame chicken.

A bit of freshness from some chopped scallions and a sprinkle of sesame seeds prevented the dish from being too sweet while adding some much-needed texture.

Each bite of chicken conveyed the simple blend of ingredients that combined to form a noteworthy dish that was prepared in an otherwise unremarkable way. This dish was simple, pantry-friendly cooking at its finest, and will be making its way back to my dinner table soon. — Lauren Mifsud In a small bowl whisk the soy sauce, honey, rice wine vinegar, onion, garlic, pepper and ginger. Pour over the chicken breasts. Cook on high for 3-4 hours or low for 4-5 hours or until chicken is cooked through (time will vary depending on slow cooker; check frequently to prevent drying out the chicken).

Once the chicken is cooked, remove with a slotted spoon and shred or slice on a plate.

Pour the sauce into a medium sauce pan. In a small bowl, whisk together the water and cornstarch. Slowly whisk into the sauce on medium high heat. Continue to whisk and let it boil until the honey teriyaki sauce starts to thicken, about 2 minutes. Add the chicken back to the slow cooker and pour the sauce on top, stirring to coat. Serve over rice and garnish if desired.

annual New Year’s Eve Sock Hop at 7 p.m. This year’s menu includes a buffet with a cheese and cracker platter, barbecue meatballs, smoked chicken wrapped in bacon, clam chowder, baked stuffed haddock, assorted salads and more, as well as prizes, a Champagne toast, a DJ and dancing. The cost is $39.99 per person.

• Row 34 (5 Portwalk Place, Portsmouth, 319-5011, row34nh. com) will be open until midnight and will be serving Krug Champagne and caviar alongside its regular menu, with specials.

• Tino’s Greek Kitchen (325 Lafayette Road, Hampton, 926-5489, galleyhatch.com) will have a prix fixe menu, with options that include assorted dips and spreads, mixed Greek olives, grilled oyster, grilled Rouget, harira soup, duck confit, pistachio macarons and more. The cost is $110 per person and reservations are required.

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DRINK

The triple-H trifecta

The unpleasant side effects of drinking wine

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SEACOAST SCENE | DECEMBER 21, 2017 - JANUARY 10, 2018 | PAGE 28

MEDICAL SERVICES 116053

It’s almost time to ring in the new year, and that usually means New Year’s Eve gatherings. This is a time when a lot of people may experience some of wine’s unpleasant side effects, or the triple-H trifecta: hangovers, headaches and heartburn. Hopefully, you don’t have all three at once.

I have found that all three of these have affected me more intensely as I get older. Heartburn, especially, plagues me and sometimes it is so bad that it feels like my stomach is just a tube of acid the next day. For a wine lover like me, this is sad, and I started to worry that I may have to give up wine completely. But what I didn’t know is that certain wines are better than others, especially when it comes to headaches and heartburn. Plus, a little prevention can go a long way. Many people swear that expensive wine doesn’t give you as much of a hangover, but really any wine can make you question your choices the next day if you drink too much of it.

There are a few things you can try if you wake up with the wine flu or a hangover after a night of celebrating. To help settle the stomach, ginger ale or AlkaSeltzer may help, as ginger is a natural remedy that helps with nausea. Though you aren’t necessarily dehydrated if you have a hangover, some people swear by beverages like Gatorade or Powerade the morning after, or even a greasy, fast food breakfast sandwich if your stomach can handle it.

Coffee can either help you or make you feel worse; it is very acidic, but the caffeine can help with a headache.

Some people get caffeine withdrawal headaches, which may only add to your problems. Over-the-counter pain relievers can help with headaches. The only real, tried and true cure is time, allowing your body to recuperate, and maybe a nap. I find that taking a nice, hot shower or bath can be helpful, too.

Some people are sensitive to sulfites, which can result in headaches. It is not just white wines that contain sulfites; red wines do too. If you get headaches after drinking wine, even in small amounts, look for an organic or biodynamic wine, which contains a lower level of sulfites.

While they are naturally occurring, sulfites help stabilize the wine after it is bottled and keep it from fermenting.

It may not just be the sulfites that are to blame for headaches, though. Many of us are also sensitive to histamines, which

Photo by Stefanie Phillips.

are present in the skins of the grapes.

Since wines made from red wines spend a longer amount of time in contact with the skins, the histamines are naturally stronger. Histamines, though present in the stomach, can increase the amount of acid and cause heartburn as well.

Tannins are another culprit that can contribute to the triple H’s, mainly headaches, heartburn and acid reflux. Red wines have more tannins and although they are high in antioxidants, our bodies do not always agree with them.

It’s no surprise that acidic wines cause heartburn because they upset our stomachs. According to Tim Morral, the NY Wine Guy, wines that are produced in cooler climates typically contain higher acid levels than those produced in warmer climates. But low-acid red wines from warmer climates contain more histamines. So your best bet is to figure out which characteristics are causing you the most discomfort and then find wines that will minimize it.

Morral suggests taking an over-thecounter histamine blocker before or after you enjoy a glass of red wine to minimize heartburn and acid reflux. Drinking plenty of water and enjoying the wine with food are also recommended, so you are not drinking on an empty stomach.

I hope you enjoy the holidays without hangovers, headaches and heartburn.

Cheers!

— Stefanie Phillips

118094

DRINK

Bring on the nutmeg

Peace, Love, & Shopping!

Malty, spicy and sweet — it’s time to enjoy holiday brews Many years ago, I would frequent the Eagle Brook Saloon in Norfolk, Mass., and during the holiday season, I would drink pints of the establishment’s “Sled Dog Celebration Ale.” This beer, which unfortunately exists in name only today, was the epitome of what a holiday brew should be: very dark amber, robust, toasty malts, a slight spicy sweetness, a little warmth from the elevated ABV, but not particularly heavy. A holiday beer like that is hard to come by.

Holiday beers can be hit or miss to some extent and people can simply be put off by some festive, seasonal brews — the spices added during the brewing process, particularly the nutmeg, seem to be the culprit. Some people just don’t like nutmeg and, while I respect that, I’m OK with it. I’m not going to drink several Harpoon Winter Warmers, but I’ll enjoy one or two — it makes me want to put a Santa hat on and decorate the tree.

Still, holiday brews are somewhat like pumpkin ales: there are plenty of good ones, but there are some festive brews that are just a little too syrupy, a little too nutmeg-y, and a little too sweet.

While the true Sled Dog Celebration Ale was something to behold, there are plenty of delicious holiday brews for you to enjoy this season. Here are some suggestions, some from New Hampshire brewers and some from beyond Granite State borders.

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Smuttynose Brewing Co. Single Digit Dubbel

Formerly called Winter Ale, or “Smutty Winter,” this is a wonderful seasonal brew that packs just enough holiday flavor and spice into your glass, without going overboard. It’s not too heavy and it’s not too sweet. That said, it does have a certain richness that says to me, “Have this on a cold day after you go sledding with the kids.”

Flying Goose Brew Pub and Grille Abbey-Style Dubbel

The Smuttynose Single Digit Dubbel is a perfect holiday brew. Photo by Chelsey Puffer.

notes of caramel and a crisp, dry finish. This beer also has some nice hop character that fits this brew well. Bring a six-pack to a holiday gathering — other guests will thank you.

Wachusett Brewing Co. Winter Ale

Wachusett essentially combines an IPA with a brown ale that, frankly, could easily not be a successful marriage. But in this case it is.

The beer is rich and malty, but well-balanced by the hoppiness. Nice change of pace holiday brew. Perfect after snow shoveling.

Samuel Adams Old Fezziwig Ale

I used to get overly excited when I’d first see the Sam Adams holiday mix pack in stores. At the risk of dating myself, the pack use to feature two each of the Winter Lager, Cream Stout, Chocolate Bock, Cranberry Lambic, Boston Lager and Old Fezziwig. It also used to be an annual tradition to see just how long the Cranberry Lambic would sit, unopened in the back of the refrigerator. But it was Old Fezziwig that really got me excited.

This beer isn’t for everyone, as it mixes roasty notes of caramel and chocolate, with spicy notes of ginger and cinnamon. For me, it captures the holiday season in a glass.

Jeff Mucciarone is a senior account execuThis beer has a little more umph to it. It’s tive with Montagne Communications, where rich and malty and you’ll definitely pick up he provides communications support to the some fruity sweetness and spice. That sweet- New Hampshire wine and spirits industry ness is balanced by a little extra heat from the 7.8-percent ABV. A wonderful brew to sip by What’s in My Fridge the fire, indoors or outdoors.

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“It tastes like a Christmas tree in a glass,” a friend once said to me. You will notice the pleasing pine flavor right away. This is a longtime favorite of mine, boasting robust malts, that unmistakable piney flavor, balanced with

Double IPA: Bold and juicy, this is Newburyport Brewing Company’s take on the New England-style IPA. The pour is characteristically hazy and golden. It’s certainly generously hopped and features some nice floral and tropical hop notes.

This is a limited-release brew. Very nice IPA — cheers!

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POP CULTURE Christmas at the Vinyl Cafe,

by Stuart McLean (Viking, 250 pages)

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www.SeacoastPetCrematory.com SEACOAST SCENE | DECEMBER 21, 2017 - JANUARY 10, 2018 | PAGE 32

109961

Stuart McLean, where have you been all my life?

In Canada, alas, and alas even further, McLean died of melanoma earlier this year.

Posthumously, Viking has published a collection of Christmas stories by McLean, a broadcaster and humorist who was Canada’s answer to Garrison Keillor and, especially at this time of year, to Jean Shepherd. (He was also heard in the U.S. on 80 public radio stations.)

Shepherd, of course, was the author of In God We Trust, All Others Pay Cash, from which the classic movie A Christmas Story was extracted. The story of Ralphie Parker and his quest for a Red Ryder BB gun resonates and endures because it captured the sweet essence of the middle-class experience of Christmas and also because it is side-splittingly funny.

Christmas at the Vinyl Cafe is that, too, and the fact that you need a passport to get to its setting takes nothing away from the stories, which may as well be set in Manchester or Denver or Topeka, but for the occasional reference to Boxing Day. The 12 stories all stand alone, but they’re also all slyly connected. They focus on Dave and Morley, a Toronto couple who have two children, a dog and a cat. Dave owns the titular Vinyl Cafe, which is not a restaurant but a record shop with the motto “We May Not Be Big, but We’re Small.”

In Dave and Morley’s neighborhood, Christmas is a very big deal, for which Morley and the other neighborhood wives start preparing months in advance.

This is why, one year, Morley comes to Dave on the brink of exhaustion and announces that he will be in charge of the turkey this year. It is the only thing she asks him to do, and he is fully prepared to handle the job, until a little past midnight on Christmas morning when he realizes, with horror, that being in charge of the turkey also means buying it, which he hasn’t done. Hilarity ensues, involving a local hotel, and a Grade B frozen turkey that Dave calls Butch.

Thus began the tradition of a new Christmas adventure for Dave and Morley every year. As McLean’s editor and producer explain in the introduction, “Dave Cooks the Turkey” was first performed in 1996, and “The reaction was so intense, it had to be followed with another Christmas story.”

Over the next 20 years, McLean’s Christmas tales — many of which were based on true, horrifyingly funny incidents in his life or those of his staff — came to comprise a 36-show tour during the holiday season.

People in Canada recite “Dave Cooks the

Turkey” with the same sort of reverence that people in South Carolina have when they read St. Luke’s account of Jesus’ birth.

McLean’s wit is subtle, his style sparse, but his imaginative powers are dazzling. In one story Dave and Morley go to a Christmas party at which Dave is asked to set up one bowl of eggnog for the adults and one for the kids. He accidentally gives the one with the alcohol to the kids.

In another, son Sam smuggles in the class ferret over Christmas vacation. When the animal is found and banished to the basement, it escapes from its cage, then burrows into a coat, which Dave unwittingly puts in the clothes dryer for a few moments. When the door is open, the ferret shoots out “like a wolverine on steroids” and wreaks havoc in the house for the next several days.

Sam also figures prominently in “Christmas Presents,” in which Morley decides that each member of the family should make a gift for another, and Sam, who is 10, decides to knit his sister a coat. Let it be known that Sam does not knit, but he soon has a cabal of neighborhood boys huddled over their needles and yarn.

“Christmas at the Turlingtons’” comes close to besting “Dave Cooks the Turkey.”

This story involves Dave and Morley’s neighbor, Mary, who comes up with a different theme and color scheme for Christmas each year. On this year, her cinnamon-colored Christmas required a copper tree, which she had made by a local welder.

She poached scallops in saffron so Christmas dinner would match the tree. In a later story, “White Christmas,” Mary announces that Victorian Christmases are passé, and that hers would have an Elizabethan theme, which would require a meal of boar, venison and Scottish wood pigeons. (I think her husband was just kidding about the roasted heron.)

Each story here is a gem, not just for the comedy but for their heart. “Christmas gives you permission to say things out loud that you might otherwise not say,” McLean writes.

“As he pulled on his socks, Dave felt a surge of emotion. It was like love, except …. bigger. And it extended beyond his little house and family and included everyone.

Dave shook his head. He was feeling love for people he had never met. People he would probably hate if he got to know them.”

The Dave and Morley universe extends far beyond the scope of these stories, and readers of this collection will likely not stop here. The book deserves a “may be habitforming” warning. It’s the best Christmas book this year, maybe this decade. A+ — Jennifer Graham

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NITE

Goodbye 2017, hello 2018 10 fun things to do on the Seacoast for New Year’s Eve Looking for a unique way to ring in 2018? Here are 10 great options to welcome the new year on the Seacoast.

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Jam up – Soul Robot rocks a backbeat at The Grog (13 Middle St., Newburyport, Mass., 978-465-8008) The four-piece band easily flips from mid-’90s H.O.R.D.E. jamming to funky flash. For the latter, check out their cover of James Brown’s “I Got That Feelin’” — it’s all dance-floor-friendly. Alt-rock powerhouse Analog Heart, led by throaty vocalist Liz Bills, shares the bill. They’re riding high with with a new single, “Not Good Enough.” Tickets are $10. Doors at 7 p.m. and show at 8 p.m.

Cowboy down – Sponsored by Jack Daniel’s Whiskey and fronted by a maleand-female vocal team, Walkin’ the Line play country music at Saddle Up Saloon (92 Route 125, Kingston). Along with singing favorites like “Chicken Fried,” “Leave the Pieces” and “Eight Second Ride,” Ashley Hewitt plays a mean fiddle and Kevin White strums rhythm guitar while rocking a ten-gallon hat. Get $40 tickets for the 7 p.m. event, which begins with a buffet and dance lessons from DJ and instructor Michelle Jackson, at eventbrite.com.

Laugh it up – A comedy doubleheader at the Sheraton Harborside Hotel (250 Market St., Portsmouth, 431-2300) stars Dirty Water TV’s Dave Russo and Dan Crohn, the latter best known for appearing on Last Comic Standing. Tickets for the early show (8:30 p.m) are $25 and allow for a potential dash to a second bash in the downtown nightlife district.

Or get dinner at a nearby restaurant and then head to the late show (10:30 p.m), which is $35 and includes a midnight Champagne toast.

Risqué soirée – Dress in retro attire and enjoy dancing by Boston Beau Tease Burlesque at the Strand Ballroom (20 Third St., Dover). The troupe re-creates a golden age of burlesque that they cheekily admit never really existed; it’s fun, racy and mostly PG-13. VIP packages include a meet and greet with the girls and colorful MC Scratch, with hors d’oeuvres from Fat Dog Kitchen and 7th Settlement Brewery beer offerings. Tickets start at $40 and are available at eventbrite.com.

Foolish fun – It’s always a party when The Fools play at Blue Ocean Music Hall (4 Oceanfront North, Salisbury, Mass.),

SEACOAST SCENE | DECEMBER 21, 2017 - JANUARY 10, 2018 | PAGE 34

The Fools. Courtesy photo.

but their annual bash turns it up to 11.

Led by singer Mike Girard, they cycle through hits like “Psycho Chicken” and “It’s a Night for Beautiful Girls.” Joining in the fun are classic rockers Psychedelic Relics. Tickets including dinner served at 7 p.m. followed by music and dancing at 9 p.m. are $90 at blueoceanhall.com.

Show-only tickets are available for $25.

Brew ‘n new – Feel the positivity with roots rockers Freevolt at Newburyport Brewing Co. (4 New Pasture Road, Newburyport, Mass.). The party’s capped with a midnight toast with NBPT’s popular Green Head IPA, or something less hoppy if that’s not your thing. Either way, there’s a limited-edition pint glass specially created for the event included with admission. Tickets are $25 at greenheadtoast.brownpapertickets.com. There are snacks and party favors offered, and the event is dog-friendly.

Reggae tone – Though the restaurant moved across the river in the fall, Boom Lava returns to Blue Mermaid Island Grill (10 Shapleigh Road, Kittery, Maine) for a funky reggae party. The popular party band plays classic funk and soul covers of artists like Curtis Mayfield and P-Funk, along with a solid catalog of original songs. They were a hit last year, so they’re back for the Mermaid’s first New Year’s party since relocating from their Portsmouth location of 23 years.

Muy Caliente – It’s a Cuban-themed affair with all the trimmings at Wentworth by the Sea (588 Wentworth Road,

New Castle). A Hot Night In Havana party includes music from an eight-piece Latin show band performing in a ballroom decorated to recreate a bygone era.

Wear a fedora or Panama hat and dance the cha-cha, boleros, mambo, salsa and pachanga. Cocktail hour begins at 7 p.m., followed by a full-course dinner and open bar through the evening. Purchase $235 tickets at prestosell.com.

Roaring ’20s – Game of Tones plays dance music as The Poynt Restaurant (31 Water St., Newburyport) changes into the “Chumley’s at 31” speakeasy for a party offering themed cocktails, a photo booth and raffles. Come in feather boas, fringey dresses, sharp suits and spats — a bestdressed guest will be chosen at the end of the night. Tickets for the 9 p.m. event are $15, or make dinner reservations and receive free admission. Either way, booking must be done at the restaurant — though there’s no secret knock to enter.

Born to be wild – It’s two times the fun at Chop Shop (920 Lafayette Road, Unit 3, Seabrook) as Bite the Bullet and Doubleshot trade sets at a popular party that’s always a blast.A dinner buffet begins at 8 p.m., and a breakfast buffet starts a half hour before midnight. Along with the music, there’s a Little Black Dress contest and promised “shenanigans” from the bar’s boss. Tickets are $40 per person, with $150 hotel packages that include admission for two and shuttle service, at chopshoppub.com.

— Michael Witthaus

BEACH BUM FUN JONESIN’ CROSSWORDS BY MATT JONES

“You’re the Toppings” — get a pizza the action Across 1 Put on ___ of paint 6 Carmaker based in Munich 9 Former world power, for short 13 It’s formed by small droplets and shows white rings (unlike its colorful

rainy counterpart) 15 “Go team!” cheer 16 Part of some organs 17 As an example 18 Party table item 20 Peace offering

22 Dir. opposite of WSW 23 Get up (get on up!)

24 Lout 25 “Just a sec” 27 Homer Simpson exclamation 28 Scone topper 29 August, in Avignon 30 Frolicked 33 Mary, Queen of ___ 34 Kitchen gadgets that really shred 37 Faker than fake 38 Gadget 39 Bygone Italian money 40 According to 41 Marshawn Lynch and Emmitt Smith, e.g.

44 Latent 47 Reznor’s band, initially

12/7

48 Pickled vegetable 49 Fin. neighbor 50 Scale on a review site that determines if movies are “Certified Fresh” 53 Amateur broadcaster’s equipment, once 55 Treat table salt, in a way 56 Sherlock Hemlock’s catchphrase on “Sesame Street” 57 Shady tree 58 Grade that’s passing, but not by much 59 1040 IDs 60 Go slaloming 61 Collect together Down 1 Be able to buy 2 “Gangsta’s Paradise” rapper 3 Monstrous, like Shrek 4 None of the ___ 5 Subdue, with “down” 6 “___ City” (Comedy Central series) 7 ‘Til Tuesday bassist/singer Aimee 8 Question of choice 9 Network merged into the CW in 2006 10 Sneaky way into a building 11 Racecar mishaps 12 Feels contrite 14 Monitor-topping recorders

19 “What have we here?”

21 Increased, with “up” 26 Tied, in a way 28 Baby kangaroo 30 “Same Kind of Different As Me” actress Zellweger 31 I strain?

32 “End of discussion” 33 Touchtone keypad button 34 Gossip sessions, slangily 35 BoJack of an animated Netflix series 36 Lymphatic mass near a tonsil 37 Some stuffed animals 41 Part of the eye with rods and cones 42 Ramona’s sister, in Beverly Cleary books 43 Put emphasis on 45 Flight info, briefly 46 Computer network terminals 47 “The Book of Henry” actress Watts 48 Make shadowy 51 Cereal partner 52 Home of Warhol’s “Campbell’s Soup Cans,” for short 54 Some city map lines, for short ©2017 Jonesin’ Crosswords (editor@jonesincrosswords.com)

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BEACH BUM FUN HOROSCOPES

Join a Winning Team

replaced by a new astrological sign that is more true to your inner personality: Dumbo.

By Holly, The Seacoast Area's Leading Astrologer

• Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Your belief in yourself will help you entertain new ideas for earning money. And if they don’t work out, we’ll all be entertained by your failure.

• Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): If it’s hard to get through to people in your family, it could be because everyone you’re related to is a mime.

• Aries (March 21-April 19): Conversations with bosses, VIPs and people with power result in important new insights — specifically, an agreement to never give you a break.

• Taurus (April 20-May 20): Today you finally do something productive by donating your body to science.

• Gemini (May 21-June 20): You’re unusually effective at your job today. The problem is, you’ve called in sick.

• Cancer (June 21-July 22): This is a great day to do a good deed for another person, such as loaning them money.

Speaking of which, can you let me have 20 bucks until payday?

• Leo (July 23-Aug. 22): Leo has been

Seacoast Scene is looking for a

• Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Remember, too many cooks spoil the broth.

But who wants broth when there’s a Burger King just down the road?

• Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): No matter how bad things seem, someone else always has it worse. But you know, I’d really like to see someone beat you in that department.

• Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Romance update! Remember that gal back in high school you were totally in love with? Just letting you know she still never thinks of you.

• Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20): If Henry David Thoreau was serious about simplifying everything in his life, why didn’t he change his name to Bob?

SUDOKU

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SEACOAST SCENE | DECEMBER 21, 2017 - JANUARY 10, 2018 | PAGE 36

• Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Trust me, you don’t want to know your horoscope today. Go find the word search and do that instead.

12/7

BEACH BUM FUN ROCKANDROLLCROSSWORDS.com BY TODD SANTOS

SOME GUYS HAVE ALL THE PUZZLES Chi-__ 17. Flaming Lips ‘A Spoonful Weighs __ __’ (1,3) 18. In perfect condition 19. Rod Stewart w/Mary J Blige ‘You Make Me Feel __ New’ 20. Bob Seger “__, who needs tomorrow?

Let’s make it last, let’s find a way” (4,3,7) 23. British music mag (abbr) 24. “Like the __ to the heather will you go,

Across

1. Might get a nosebleed one 5. ‘Short Skirt/Long Jacket’ band 9. ‘72 Rod Stewart album ‘Never __ __ Moment’ (1,4) 14. Machine Head song for an angel to put on?

15. Syd Barrett compilation album about European car?

16. 70s ‘Have You Seen Her’ soul band

YS HAVE ALL THE PUZZLES 1

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lassie, go” 25. Rod Stewart “Seems so unfair when there’s love everywhere but there’s __ for me” 26. Actress Gardner Suzanne Vega sang about with ‘Frank’ 27. English production duo (hyph) 28. ‘It’s All About Me’ R&B girl 31. ‘Stolen Shoes & A __’ Blitzen Trapper 34. Bodyguard 35. Feel like one in headlights w/onstage wipeout 36. ‘97 Saxon album that inspired Monster drink slogan, perhaps (7,3,5) 39. Concert air might look like this from smoke 40. ‘Freak On A Leash’ band 41. Bluesman Tinsley 42. What wardrobe will do to torn denim 43. Rod Stewart ‘Who’s Gonna Take Me Home (The __ And Fall Of A Budding Gigolo’ 44. ‘Brother’ Alice In Chains EP 45. Not Wilco, but Son __

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Bodyguard POLARIZED

36. '97 Saxon album that inspired Monster drink slogan, perhaps (7,3,5)

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45. Not Wilco, but Son __ 46. Rod Stewart '__ A

Heartache' DESIGNED IN NEW HAMPSHIRE

39. Concert air might look like this from smoke

Down

1. ‘Round Of Blues’ Colvin 2. ‘86 David Lee Roth album ‘__ __ And Smile’ (3,2) 3. “People all over the world, join hands start __ __ train” (1,4) 4. ‘Wild Thing’ Loc 5. Santana ‘Oye __ __’ (4,2) 6. George Harrison ‘Isn’t It __ __’ (1,4) 7. Superman’s alter egoinspired Swedes?

8. Rod Stewart did ‘Sad Songs (Say So Much)’ w/him (5,4) 9. Highly prolific producer Steve 10. Sad song 11. Where jazz is played?

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50. '86 Ozzy 'Shot In The Dark' album (3,8,3) 54. Dixie Chicks spinoff '__ Yard Hounds' 55. The harder you rock, the stronger this gets in your armpits 56. '99 Red Balloons' band 57. Guitar man Earle

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SEACOAST SCENE | DECEMBER 21, 2017 - JANUARY 10, 2018 | PAGE 37

NEWS OF THE WEIRD BY ANDREWS MCMEEL SYNDICATION

CAUTION DELIVERY VEHICLE

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Cai, a 28-year-old man in Lianyungang, Jiangsu Province, China, had plenty WARNING! of time to consider traffic patterns as he THIS VEHICLE MAKES waited for the lights to change during his FREQUENT STOPS daily commute. So much, in fact, that TO OFFLOAD SEACOAST SCENE! he decided to take matters into his own hands on Sept. 27 and paint new traffic SceneScene e arrows on the roadway. A traffic camera Scen Scene e Sce ne Scene Scene Scen captured the whole project as Cai careful...AND OTHER FINE FREE PUBLICATIONS! ly added a straight arrow to the existing CONTACT DOUG LADD 603-625-1855 X135 left-turn and U-turn arrows. “I saw the Circulation Director 603-625-1855 Ext 135 straight lane was always packed with or email resume/cover letter to cars, while the turning left lane has a lot dladd@hippopress.com of space,” Cai told police. “So I thought changing the signs would make my comFUN! EASY & REWARDING! mute smoother.” The BBC reports that police fined Cai the equivalent of about DELIVERY CONTRACTORS NEEDED! $151, and crews removed the new straight arrow from the road.

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Hair trigger

Timothy Colton, 28, is cooling off in the Clark County (Nevada) Detention Center after being charged with arson and the attempted murder of his 66-yearold mother, who has limited mobility.

The Nov. 27 altercation apparently started over a laundry dispute, but North Las Vegas police said Colton became aggressive and threatened to kill his mother and burn the house down. Fox News reports that Colton set fire to the front door and then ran away to hide under a car in a nearby parking lot, where officers found him. Police said he was “kicking the back seat door and hitting his head on the plastic partition between the front and rear seats” in the patrol car during his arrest.

He was being held on $100,000 bail.

When ya gotta go ...

Nemy Bautista of Sacramento, California, will not be posting a five-star review to Amazon this holiday season following not one but two alarming experiences. On Nov. 28, Bautista returned home to find a pile of what he thought was dog poo at the end of his driveway. But after reviewing his security camera footage, he discovered the poop perp was in fact a contract delivery driver for Amazon, driving a U-Haul truck. Bautista watched as the female driver squatted by the side of the truck, partially concealed by the open door, and left her mark. Bautista called Amazon to complain, and a supervisor arrived hours later to bag up the evidence. The next day, Bautista got another package from Amazon, but the delivery person “tossed the package ... instead of walking up the driveway,” Bautista told FOX40. He said the package contained a “fragile porcelain figurine,” but it didn’t break. Maybe the delivery person was afraid of stepping in something?

SEACOAST SCENE | DECEMBER 21, 2017 - JANUARY 10, 2018 | PAGE 38

The Naughty List

A mall Santa working the weekend shift in late November got more than he bargained for at Dufferin Mall in Toronto, Ontario, Canada, when an unnamed woman unloaded a sleigh-full of obscenities on him, saying, “Do you have a sleigh? No? ... You’re not magic! You’re not even real!

I heard about it when I was a young kid!”

A bystander with a cellphone captured the tirade on video, reported the New York Post, and true to his spirit, St. Nick kept his composure and tried not to engage with the elf-hater. A mall spokesperson said the woman left without further incident.

A message from God?

An 18th-century statue of the crucified Jesus that was removed for restoration from the church of St. Agueda in Burgo de Osma, Spain, held a surprise in a most unusual spot. As historians removed from Jesus’s backside a section of the carving meant to look like a cloth, they discovered two handwritten letters dated 1777 and signed by Joaquin Minguez, then-chaplain of the cathedral. Minguez details life in the community, including harvest reports and diseases, and tells

about the sculpture’s artist, Manuel Bal. Historian Efren Arroyo told the Spanish newspaper El Mundo it appears Minguez intended his letters to be a sort of time capsule. The original letters were sent to the Archbishop of Burgos for archiving, but copies were returned to Jesus’s hindquarters to honor Minguez’s intent.

Awesome!

Chuck E. Cheese restaurants are undergoing an evolution of sorts, and employees at the location in Oak Lawn, Illinois, were only following company protocol when they took sledgehammers to the plastic head of the animatronic mouse on Nov. 28. In a video recorded by a reporter with the Oak Lawn Patch, two female employees half-heartedly strike Chuck’s head for several minutes before it finally breaks apart. Meanwhile, other workers load furniture and games into a moving van. The Oak Lawn location has closed after experiencing a particularly difficult period, as it became the scene of violent brawls and gang activity. But they won’t have Chuck E. to kick around anymore.

Visit newsoftheweird.com.

Twelve-year-old Ninja came to the NHSPCA from a hoarding situation.

She was underweight with a poor coat and was really skittish at first.

Due to her stressed condition and her advanced age, she spent some time being fostered in our Development Office. After settling in and becoming more confident, she has gained weight and her coat is now lush and soft. Ninja is a sweet girl who loves to be brushed, especially along her cheeks. She is playful too, and will chase sunbeams reflected on the floor (she would love a laser pointer!). It may take a while, but once she finds your lap, she will never leave it! She has been good with dogs, and given her background, she’s probably fine with other cats.

Ninja will require a special diet, but please consider adopting Ninja into your home. She is a wonderful cat!

As a senior pet, Ninja qualifies for a reduced adoption fee. This little lady deserves a loving home for the holidays. Visit her at the NHSPCA in Stratham or call 603-772-2921 or visit nhspca.org.

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